The Hose

Moving Day!

noreply@blogger.com (Xtian) — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 10:50:00 -0500

The Hose is Moving!

Click here to check out the new home for the Hose.

We are still working on the design etc and there will be many rapid changes. But let's get back to posting.

$8 Was in My Pocket

noreply@blogger.com (Mamacita) — Tue, 9 Feb 2010 17:15:00 -0500

What is American Airlines going to do now? Crank up the air conditioning? This is ridiculous.

Cold people are not happy.

Manolo Hangs Out With Evil

noreply@blogger.com (Manolo) — Mon, 8 Feb 2010 12:05:00 -0500

I was amazed how Evil and I managed to have a good time this weekend at the Directv Celebrity Beach Bowl despite our deep animosity towards each other...he was so funny...he had this running joke where he pretended he didn't know who I was...he even tried to have security escort me out...ha ha ha!!!

Uh Oh?

noreply@blogger.com (Evil) — Sat, 6 Feb 2010 14:16:00 -0500

Evil

I was just at the dentist. As I was leaving, the receptionist asked me when I wanted my next appt for and which hygenist I usually see (since today's appt was a last minute fill-in and not with my usual hygenist). I answered her: "I usually see paula…"

She informs me that there are two paulas who work there and asks me which one.

I say, "errr, the black lady."

Then it suddenly occurs to me that saying "black lady" might be totally un PC. I'm not sure. What's the real deal? Did I goof?

Disappointing Video Of The Day

noreply@blogger.com (Evil) — Sat, 6 Feb 2010 09:48:00 -0500

Evil

Was browsing CNN and saw the headline "Ladies Pose Nude For Pets." Great!... Except when I actually watched the video. :(

Things That Make Me Say, Good Gravy!

noreply@blogger.com (Evil) — Sat, 6 Feb 2010 01:40:00 -0500

Evil

Simon Cowell is paid $50 million dollars per year???!!!

Is that his overall earnings per year or his earnings just for American Idol? If for Idol alone, that seems absolutely insane. Inconceivable, even.

Also, hiring Howard Stern for Idol would be a brilliant move!!! That would be awesome.

Demon Sheep Leaves xTian Confused and Afraid

noreply@blogger.com (Xtian) — Thu, 4 Feb 2010 12:44:00 -0500

Can anyone explain this metaphor to me? Who is the dude crawling around in the demon sheep mask? Is it me? Is it Tom Campbell? Is it Carly? Is Carly one of the sheep? Who are the other sheep? Maybe poor people in Oakland? Or angry farmers with no water? Charleton Heston? Am I the demon sheep because I let the state of California give me an MBA and then ran out of Dodge?(Head scratching). This is the worst political ad ever, it has left me confused and afraid.

Full Disclosure: Tom Campbell is a friend of mine. He is. He, L3, Sparks and Mamacita are the only conservative friends I count in the world. I usually only associate with like minded pinko/commies. Back to Tom; a few years ago, we were both affiliated with the most greatest Public Institution Higher Learning Ever Conceived by Man. During my first year, I lived in the I-House and he used to randomly have dinner there several nights a week. More than a few times we would have dinner and he would indulge my leftist views and explain weird laws to me.

Thing I'm Going to Do Today

noreply@blogger.com (KillerB) — Thu, 4 Feb 2010 09:52:00 -0500

My mind is made up. I'm gonna do it. I've wanted to do this ever since I was young. I was always fascinated by this place, but never had a chance to go. Today I've got time and proximity on my side. It's gonna get done.

I'm going to the La Brea Tar Pits (though this photo already has me prepared to be underwhelmed).

Sometimes I Feel Like This Article

noreply@blogger.com (Evil) — Wed, 3 Feb 2010 06:47:00 -0500

Evil

Headline: "Study Links Excessive Internet Use To Depression"

I feel sad.

Lookey-Likey

noreply@blogger.com (Evil) — Wed, 3 Feb 2010 06:38:00 -0500

Evil

Super Bowl pitchman Mean Joe Greene and Muscle-Turned-Boxing-Coach "Cutty" from The Wire.

Lookey-Likey

noreply@blogger.com (Evil) — Wed, 3 Feb 2010 06:10:00 -0500

Evil

New York Yankees Pitcher / Headcase Joba Chamberlain and Mad Men Couch Commie Paul Kinsey.

Hard-To-Explain Cultural Gaps

noreply@blogger.com (Evil) — Tue, 2 Feb 2010 21:59:00 -0500

Evil

I've always assumed that I had watched Godfather II at some point in my life. In fact, I've always assumed that I've watched it multiple times. After (re)watching the first Godfather on the plane ride home, I decided to get Godfather II via Time Warner Cable's Movies On Demand service. Will there be more cats advising the Corleone family?!?! We shall see!

I'm 20 minutes into the movie and I've realized... I've never seen Godfather II before. How strange.

Quickies - Back In The USA Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Evil) — Tue, 2 Feb 2010 18:07:00 -0500

Evil

* I'm back in the land of the free. Now I can fully enjoy my freedoms in all its joyous forms. Why, hello, Internet boobies! You sure look nice today!

* I heated up some soup today and started sipping while the thing was still scalding hot. Turned out, I burned the SH*T out of my lips and inner mouth. Skin peeling everywhere. Not pretty. My gluttony got the best of me this time.

* In a concession to the weak economy and my continued unemployment, I decided not to re-instate my gym membership at Equinox. Instead, I joined the NYSC, which is totally more ghetto but also about half the cost. Maybe I was inspired by Scott Brown's 200K mile truck? I am a true man of the people.

* I'm waiting for the laundry to get delivered so I can get my gym clothes so I can go to the gym already. Cmon laundry people, it's past 6pm! What's the holdup?

* If the laundry doesn't arrive within the next 30 minutes, I'm bagging the gym. I will jump straight to the "drinking alone" portion of tonight's agenda.

(More Difficult) Mystery Photo Of The Day

noreply@blogger.com (Evil) — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 23:49:00 -0500

Evil

Hmmm, I'm surprised that y'all found the Marlon Brando mystery photo to be too easy. For me, it's hard to imagine what Marlon Brando looks like when he's not a 450 pound blimp. But then again, the only Marlon Brando movie I ever saw was Don Juan Demarco. (Great movie, by the way. It features Queens, NY!)

OK, so here is a harder one for you guys. I'll even give you a hint: you don't normally see this guy in front of the camera (still camera or movie camera)... so he's not a movie star, tv star, or model, per se.

Mystery Photo Of The Day

noreply@blogger.com (Evil) — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 19:17:00 -0500

Evil

Who is this guy? (The man, not the cat.)

And I thought football season was over!

noreply@blogger.com (Xtian) — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 18:25:00 -0500

Last night, America's Coach, Rex Ryan reminded us all why we loved him. While getting into it with some fans at an MMA event in Miami last night (featuring Herschel Walker! G*dd*mn), he gave everyone the business.

He then went on the mic and delivered a WWE style promo to the Miami crowd!

Reports indicate that later he consumed 70,0000 calories...

Who's in for HBO's Hard Knocks this summer featuring the NY Jets? (HAND RAISED)

Sunday Coffeehouse - Katy Perry's Cover of MGMT's Electric Feel ( A Decidedly Unelectric Feel)

noreply@blogger.com (Xtian) — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 11:40:00 -0500

As you know, I am currently mildly obsessed with Katy Perry and bring her up constantly. During a recent conversation, an infuriated person pointed out to me that this was the most interesting thing she had ever done - a live cover of Electric Feel done accustically for Live Lounge on BBC Radio 1.

I love it...cheers...

I Never Feel Like This Guy

noreply@blogger.com (KillerB) — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 09:28:00 -0500

Couldn't he at least start losing his hair or something?

Gato-Gram... Signing Off

noreply@blogger.com (Evil) — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 22:49:00 -0500

Temp Roommate

My owner will be here to pick me up in about 15 minutes. It's been nice knowing all you Hosers. If any of you are ever in Shanghai, please come visit me! I will even show you the best basketjob joints in town, if that's the kind of thing you're into.

Question for Sparks

noreply@blogger.com (KillerB) — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 13:31:00 -0500

Get your spreadsheet fired up.

I've lived in NYC for 66 months. I take a cab about twice a week. What are the odds I've had the same cabbie twice?

Thing I Did

noreply@blogger.com (KillerB) — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 11:48:00 -0500

Earlier this week I went through my personal email account and unsubscribed all sorts of random stuff. I thought that would make my life better, but it has just made me sadder. Turns out I don't get much meaningful email at all. Now most of the time when I check, there is nothing new waiting for me.

Should re-subscribe to the Walgreen's photo center? Or Equinox? Or Travel & Leisure Hot Deals? Or BasketjobsR'Us?

The End Of Our Political Careers

noreply@blogger.com (Evil) — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 11:08:00 -0500

xTian: i mean i have banged three

and he has banged at least four

cold weather is just as effective as inclimate weather

evil: maybe he's sporting a greg oden down there

xTian: it could be

do you remember [6'10" guy from university]?

evil: seriously, how big is greg oden

xTian: he used to walk up to women and talk about how in proportion he was

evil: seriously, how big is greg oden in inches?

xTian: i have not seen it

should i look?

evil: yes

click on the link i posted

then click on the link that is labled NSFW

xTian: that's pretty big

but it is proportional

evil: what would you say, in inches?

xTian: 12?

evil: whoa

i see

xTian: flacid too

flacid ish

so it gets bigger

evil: GAYEST. CHAT. SESSION. EVER.

xTian: yes

Native Americans Fuming Following GOP Response

noreply@blogger.com (KillerB) — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 09:19:00 -0500

Black Woman: Check
White Woman: Check
Military Guy: Check
Nerdy Asian: Check
White Guy in Charge: Check
Native American:

Joe Jonas On American Idol

noreply@blogger.com (Evil) — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 09:11:00 -0500

Evil

How dull is Joe Jonas? Seriously man. This dude is a black hole of charisma. Look at the pic of him above. He is boring even himself! He finds himself so boring, he can barely stay awake.

Katy Perry: Hot (and attractively b*tchy)

noreply@blogger.com (Xtian) — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 20:57:00 -0500

Did anyone catch American Idol last night? I have been DVRing but not watching. After reading some commentary that Katy Perry was a little out of order I decided to check it out. Several quick observations

-Katy Perry is like an anime character brought to life - alabaster skin, huge blue-green eyes, dark hair and about 70% legs. If she were a vampire, I would have lost my pants after about 30 seconds

-Why does she hate Kara? Did Kara stiff her on some song writing royalties? How much are you willing to pay for a porn staring Kara and Katy? Please note, I am too embarrassed to answer this question myself

-Avril Lavigne is motherf8cking weird yo! First off she has very pronounced canines and she was wearing a hoody with horns. WTF?