There are four basic phases of culture shock. The first is called Euphoria, a.k.a. The Honeymoon Phase. As new arrivals or tourists, we are full of enough hope and excitement to cloud our vision and make cultural differences seem unimportant, even fun. However, after a few days or weeks, we move into the second phase, Irritation and Hostility. This stage is actually what many people refer to as culture shock - homesickness and frustration enter our daily lives, we get angry over little things, and experience depression. This second stage is usually the “make or break” stage, when expats either adjust to their new country or decide to go home.

If we safely make it through, we arrive at the Gradual Adjustment phase, where we begin to adapt to our surroundings and function normally in our new culture. We make efforts to fit in, to actively accept new things, and appreciate the differences of our new culture. Finally, after months or years in stage three, we graduate to the final phase, Adaptation. We are bi-cultural, able to function in both our native and adopted cultures without a problem. We have a strong command of our new language, and many of our old habits are replaced by new, one culture seamlessly folding into the other.

At least, that’s the theory. In real life, culture shock is a much more personal, individual experience. My euphoric phase was marked by an appreciation of the mountains that surrounded me, an amusement at the crazy drivers, and a sense of awe that I was finally here. By phase two, I still appreciated the mountains, but those crazy drivers were assholes, and my only wish was to be able to curse well enough in Spanish to give them a piece of my mind the next time one blew threw a red light as I crossed the street. There was no dulling sense of awe or wonderment anymore, I no longer woke up in the mornings congratulating myself, “You live in Costa Rica!” I was often frustrated by being stereotyped as a gringa, spoken to in English, and ripped off at every opportunity. If I had been just a little less mature, I would have stomped my feet and hurled myself to the ground for a good, cathartic temper tantrum. Every day.

For several months, I grappled with being a minority for the first time in my life. I wondered if the bus driver had given me incorrect change on purpose. I secretly raged at strangers who spoke to me in English, even though I spoke perfectly passable Spanish. I was angry. I wanted to know where all the nice ticos had gone. I wanted sales people to leave me alone, instead of breathing down my neck. I wanted people to just say “no” instead of “puede ser,” show me brutal honestly instead of feeding me white lies. But then, slowly enough to not warrant my own notice, the “want want WANT!!! turned into a gentle acceptance of my surroundings. All things tico started to make sense, without my consciously making sense of them.

Phase three is a happy place - I’m comfortable and calm, learning something new everyday. Like a child, I learn through observation, mimicking my tico friends in everything they do. Instead of using a finger or head nod, I see them use their lips to point out a location, and then I practice doing the same. They say “mae” every other word, and like a parrot, I say it, too. I’m learning how to time the traffic, and I cross streets without [much] fear. When it’s necessary, I know how to stop most errant drivers dead in their tracks with a few well-chosen palabrotas (bad words) and an icy stare. And about those mountains… they are still forever beautiful.

In many ways, I’ve already hit the fourth phase of culture shock, adaptation. But I don’t want to. Like in love, I don’t want my relationship with Costa Rica to ever feel stale. I never want to be so perfectly adapted that I take my surroundings for granted. It’s a vicious cycle - Costa Rica is not my native home, and so if I ever grew “used to” being here, I would never achieve cultural fluency. The day that I accept my Spanish as “good enough” will be the day that I stop improving my accent and vocabulary. If I ever stop questioning exactly when I should snap my fingers in disbelief or place them all together to indicate that something is full, I will always be on the dusty outskirts of tico culture. Without questioning and wondering about everything around me, I will never be able to discover all the amazing nuances of my new home and language.

May I never grow complacent and merely accepting of unique gestures, rolling mountains, artistic churches, perfectly laid stone fences, incredible forests, and linguistic idiosyncracies. Because to me, phase four — Adaptation — is apathy. It’s the acceptance of everything around you to the point of feeling so comfortable that no further effort is needed. But my love affair with Costa Rica is special, enduring, and for that reason, I hope to never adapt.

14 Comments

• On April 15, 2008 at 11:12 am, Fabi wrote:

  Erin,

  I love this post!!!... Es muy interesante como escribes sobre las fases del Cultural shock y como afrontas al final tu punto de vista acerca de "no adaptarte" por completo.

  Really, Its a smart and interesting !!! Adem??s de bellamente escrito ;)

  Excelente baby.. Fabi...

• On April 16, 2008 at 12:31 am, Julie wrote:

  What a great post! It brings back so much of my own experience, and also shows what is to come - can't wait!

• On April 17, 2008 at 8:12 am, Arp wrote:

  I know we've only been through the honeymoon phase (how far can you really get in a month?), and I'm way curious about how the next phases will go. I definitely thought the drivers were amusing, but I used to be an asshole just like them (in the US) until recently. It is interesting how the Ticos avoid confrontation, but not surprisingly, they have to let it out somewhere. I'm sure there are safer ways than doing it in speeding vehicles.

  You did hit one reason I have for not wanting to live in the US - adaptation. There are plenty of places in the US to try but familiarity will always be lurking behind a corner. I hope, like you, to never get to the state of perfect adaptation in Costa Rica.

• On April 17, 2008 at 9:12 am, Erin wrote:

  Fabi, I'm glad you loved it! You've been the unfortunate witness to many of my rants and moods - how nice that you can see them in written form, and still find the humor. ;-)

  Julie, I think every expat experience is different, so I'm sure you will go through the phases differently than I did. But it's a wild ride and if you're really cut out to be an expat, it's mostly enjoyable. Have fun, and don't forget to blog it!

  Arp, Be prepared to go through the honeymoon phase all over again when you come back. The second time, at least for me, was even more exciting, because I was moving and so excited about everything I imagined would happen. Much of it did happen, and I've had so much fun during the entire process. I just hope, as you noted, that I never stop finding new things to appreciate.

• On April 17, 2008 at 9:17 am, Arp wrote:

  Thanks - we SO look forward to going back. I know the second time will be something special since it will be the realization of a dream, and that energy will be something else.

• On April 23, 2008 at 12:05 pm, Teri wrote:

  This is an excellent article and very well written. I think we all can empathize, the ones that have stayed through the different phases only to fall in love with Costa Rica one more time. Teri

• On April 25, 2008 at 10:02 am, elle. wrote:

  hey erin,

  lots of stuff to think about. i think i am mos definitely in the honeymoon stage right now as you can see my my latest blog post! it will be interesting to see how the different stages manifest.

• On April 27, 2008 at 2:55 pm, Thomas wrote:

  Erin,

  Keep up the good work. Interesting take on culture shock!

  Thomas from "Costa Rican Spanish"

• On June 7, 2008 at 7:36 am, Teri wrote:

  Did you quit blogging? I tried refeshing the page and April post keeps coming up.

• On June 25, 2008 at 9:33 am, Deena wrote:

  Excellent writting, love all the articles you have written. Nostalgia comes to my mind. Beautiful pics, loved the fence but most of all your take on the cultural side of it.

• On July 12, 2008 at 1:41 pm, Esmit Perez wrote:

  La que salio en CNN eras vos? En un reportaje del restaurante de Sushi?

• On July 13, 2008 at 5:09 am, Tom wrote:

  You know when you don't post we all think something horrible happened to you. Just fire up the blog long enough to say goodbye.

• On July 25, 2008 at 9:51 am, Erin wrote:

  I'm alive and well, just extremely busy! My apologies to anyone who thought anything had happened to me. I promise to post as soon as possible.

• On August 24, 2008 at 2:57 pm, Anna wrote:

  Great article. I am a gringa going through the transition now. I came down to gorgeous Costa Rica to teach English. We arrived in late July.

  Are you still here? Last I saw was April and I grew nervous that you packed up and ran off.

My divorce left me relieved and happy with my newfound freedom, but it also left me broken. What had been a hopelessly romantic girl had given way to a slightly jaded woman, and it was evident. Ripping my heart off of my sleeve, I stashed it away in a soundproof vault and began to believe in things like “the only person that will ever look out for me is me” and “no one ever loves someone just as she is.” It never occured to me that this could be my heart’s defenses clicking into place; instead, I thought that I had finally discovered a Universal Truth.

I think there’s a process that every recently-single person goes through: First, there’s anger and rage toward the person you no longer love, and a spiteful satisfaction that you don’t have to tolerate his presence anymore. Then you graduate to the insecure phase, wondering how much of the breakup is your fault, and eventually convincing yourself that you are completely unlovable and will never walk hand-in-hand again. During these first phases, there is much introspection and self-discovery, and it can be excruciating. But when we allow ourselves to deal with our inner demons, we emerge as happier, healthier individuals. We move into the final stage of self-acceptance where we’ve come to terms with our past and are willing to move into the future, ready to love and be loved.

Those first two stages were hard for me, tossing me around like a kayak that had been carried into the Bermuda Triangle by a tidal wave, only to be welcomed to that maritime hell by a class-5 hurricane. But after confronting and dealing with each one of my fears, I knew that I would love again. And I was certain that our love would be perfect enough to make Aurora, Cinderella, Ariel, and all the rest of them absolutely green with jealousy.

I was single for 28 months before I met the last man I will ever love. For the first few weeks, I showed him my wildly confident, slightly flirtatious side. I was so convincing that I think I scared him a bit. But on the inside, I was terrified, and had no idea what I was doing. But with a good dose of humor and a generous serving of patience, we made it through the awkward first encounters and became a couple.

So then I thought, “finally! now is when it gets easy!” Wrong again. Opening up to Fabi — letting him into the confines of my soul — was anything but easy. Because when we finally let someone in, we give him the ability to hurt us. As I whispered my secrets and ground him a copy of the key to my heart, I felt vulnerable and fragile. And that is the opposite of easy.

But fear is no excuse to hold back. If we never risk, we never gain. And that it is why we must do the very thing that stands to lose us the most: open up and give of ourselves. With baby steps, I began to confide in Fabi and tell him my past, show him dreams, and share confidences. And with each little test I gave him, he proved that he was worthy. And knowing that was worth far more than 28 lonesome months.

My relationship would not work for everyone, but for me, it is the best union that will ever exist. With confidence that he will always love and accept me, I can share my laundry list of fears, mistakes, insecurities, and sins. I know that he will not always agree with me, but that his love will never waver and our relationship will strengthen, not weaken, from our complete, naked honesty. And this is why, someday, Fabi will know everything that there is to know about me.

Sharing yourself with someone will never be easy. In fact, I think it’s the most risky and frightening thing that we can ever do. But if you start small and open yourself up like a flower in bloom, you’ll find that this leap of faith is the best one you’ll ever make.

6 Comments

• On March 11, 2008 at 8:28 pm, lisa wrote:

  i love when i inspire people to write ;)

  erin, you've explained much more eloquently than i ever could the fear involve. it's hard telling someone everything, but it's harder still to hand them the key to your heart and trust them to know everything and not hurt you.

  i've never been seriously hurt by a relationship, but i think that's because i've never given anyone, ever, the key to my heart. i've opened windows here and there, but the door has never been wide open, either from fear that someone wouldn't walk through it, or that they would, and destroy me from the inside out.

  i am envious of you and Fabi for that. i don't know if i'll ever get to that point, but i know that i want it more than anything. my fear, though, is large. it's going to take a long time to be able to let someone in that deeply.

• On March 12, 2008 at 1:30 pm, Fabi wrote:

  HI Erin, my baby!

  Lisa says something that apply to my self for my past romantic life:

  "i???ve never given anyone, ever, the key to my heart".... but know all is different because of you!!! You have the key of my heart and my soul... My partner, my friend, my lover!!

  Baby, Gracias por existir y darle un nuevo sentido a mi vida..... :D

• On March 25, 2008 at 4:41 pm, Fabi wrote:

  I love you :D

• On April 13, 2008 at 3:22 am, Leigh wrote:

  I really enjoy your blog and your writing. I admire the level of honesty you touch here. I can't say I do quite the same in mine. I'm glad we met as well.

• On July 20, 2008 at 4:57 pm, Fabi wrote:

  Te amo.... we miss your blogs! :)

• On August 5, 2008 at 8:40 am, Xavier wrote:

  Hello Erin.

  I am a man from Catalonia that loves Costa Rica. I've visited the country 3 times, and it has been even better than what I expected. It was really love, I will try to retire there, because I feel Costa Rica as my contry in my heart. Believe me, it's much deeper than "oh what a pretty sunset", or "aww look at the toucans".

  Your blog is one of the best 5 I've visited about CR (and I've read dozens of them). This last writing has been really inspiring, and I agree with you about most of the things you wrote. You know, after receiving some injuries inside me during life, I believe that it's very strange when the end of a relationship is only one side's fault. In almost 100% of the cases each one in the couple has some responsability. And it doesn't mean that any of the two are a lesser being, or a person of a low value. Almost surely both persons are good and love-deserving beings who deserve the best, but don't mix well. Just that, and I agree, it hurts, but you've got to take good things and keep them inside forever, it'd be sad to bury them below sadness and anger. One positive weights more for me than 10 negatives.

  That was all, I hope I've written clear enough, sometimes it's difficult to me to express feelings in words.

  I hope you're ok and things are on the best way for you. Take care and pura vida. :)

  Xavier

Culture shock, and its ensuing frustrations, is a right of passage and a growing experience. In exchange for living in a country as beautiful and varied as Costa Rica, we have to adapt and relearn how life works. Of course, every expat takes a different journey, but when we come out on the readjusted end of the tunnel, we are changed. And our reaction to this change is a likely indicator of our staying power in Costa Rica.

I truly believe that everyone, regardless of location or situation, is constantly learning life’s gentle lessons. But living here puts us on an accelerated path, and we decide which streets to take. When presented with the clash between old and new, each expat will in turn recreate himself, fine-tuning a mixture of what we grew up loving and what we are now learning to love.

Fourteen months into my move and several huecos in the road later, I have finally given myself up to this country. For over a year, its culture has tugged on my heartstrings and urged me to step out of my shell. Gone are the days when I worried about the Joneses’ latest acquisitions or dreamed of a home with a separate wing for visiting family. In their place, simplicity and gratitude have taken root: my one bedroom loft apartment is not small, but rather “easy to clean”; a sixteen-hour bus ride is well worth the savings of a few hundred dollars in airfare; a soul is washed clean by a breathtaking view and a gulp of mountain air.

I don’t want to oversimplify my fears and frustrations, so I admit that everyday is an effort. On the bad days, I just want to put my head in a pillow and scream until I lose my voice. On the really bad days, the only thing to assuage my feelings is a good stomp around the city, letting the world feel my wrath. But on the good days — most days — I continue in this self-exploration, challenging myself to build a better Erin. I feel so lucky to be here, cultivating the culture of Me. And now, more than ever, I feel like a true gringuitica.

16 Comments

• On March 3, 2008 at 2:20 pm, elle. wrote:

  building a better me.... i love the title. i totally feel like we're on the same page, but maybe that's because you visited me last weekend!

• On March 3, 2008 at 2:22 pm, Oscar wrote:

  Potholes? What potholes?! x)

  You ARE a true "gringuitica" and a very fine friend to boot.

• On March 4, 2008 at 12:43 am, Simon wrote:

  Lovely writing, perfect photograph.

• On March 4, 2008 at 6:48 am, Danielle Barkhouse wrote:

  Erin, that was very nicely said. As an expat in India, if there's one thing I understand--it's culture shock. I truly believe it takes at least a year, maybe even more, to adjust to living in a developing country or a country that is not as developed as your own. I do understand why people give up and return "home." The life of an expat is not for everyone. I'm looking forward to reading more about your adventures in Costa Rica.

  Kind regards,

  Danielle Barkhouse

  www.expatarc.com

• On March 4, 2008 at 1:47 pm, Fabi wrote:

  Yes, I agree with all your feelings! Now you are a real gringuitica.... keeping the best of 2 worlds in your life!

  Really nice post!!! :D

• On March 5, 2008 at 10:16 am, Mary wrote:

  Wow Erin,

  What an inspiring post, and love the photo! I stumbled on your blog while researching information on Costa Rica as I had started following a blog called Costa Rica HQ and wanted to find out more about the country. It has been interesting reading various blogs and reading about peoples different experiences with living in Costa Rica. I plan to initally visit the country, but am not ruling out the possibility of living there some day. I have lived in other countries and initially would have found it a complete culture shock but as time went by, I began to embrace my new culture, stopped making comparisons to where I had come from, and only then did I truly start to enjoy the experience. Many of my friends gave up and went home but now have regrets that they didn't stay on. Experiencing new cultures is an awesome thing and one can learn so much and each new experience develops us more as a person. I loved your comment on simplicity and gratitude. I have reached this in my life. There was a time when I too would have worried about the Joneses' but now I focus on me, making myself a better person, and experiencing true happiness. Looking forward to more of your adventures Erin.

• On March 5, 2008 at 6:17 pm, Amelia Hart wrote:

  Thank you for the raw openness with which you expressed yourself. I moved from Miami to Connecticut and felt an extreme culture shock. I ended up moving back to Florida six years later and I am truly changed. I actually miss Connecticut, even after thinking I never would. Your writing is fresh and inspiring. I've been reading about this guy who just moved their not to long ago. His blog is called Costa Rica HQ. He speaks of the beauty of CT and the challenges to, but not to the extent that you do. Thanks again and I look forward to more of your writing.

• On March 6, 2008 at 8:16 am, Saratica wrote:

  Beautifully put. Hear, hear! I just started going to the gym every morning with my new friend, Barbara, who has been hear since she was 11 (so 39 years). She was saying that, as an expat growing up here, you learn not to attach to people until they are here for a few years. Too many people come and go to get attached, heartbreak waiting to happen. Makes it hard to "bond" here in the first two years, no one will really commit to being your friend. But now that we are past that, we understand...

• On March 6, 2008 at 8:18 am, Saratica wrote:

  Me again. I've switched to Yahoo from Google and can't find a way to subscribe via rss feed via anything but google... am I doing something wrong? when I click the rss feed button, I only have google as an option...

• On March 6, 2008 at 7:39 pm, Rick Carlson wrote:

  i just love your pictures, Costa Rica seems like a wonderful place, except for the potholes of course. I have been researching my move here and ran into another blog with some interesting stories at Costa Rica HQ that has been helpful.

  I liked what Fabi said, to keep the best of two worlds in your life.

  Great post.

  Rick

• On March 8, 2008 at 11:29 am, Erin wrote:

  @elle: I think talking things out helped me clarify my thoughts.

  @Oscar: There was this great story I once heard from a friend about learning what a Costa Rican hueco was: She & her friend were in a taxi and the driver had said that a hueco was coming up. They didn't know what that meant, so they asked. The driver thought that it would be a perfect learning opportunity, so he proceeded to hit every, single pothole and yell out HUECO!! each time, just so that they'd really get it into their heads. Safe to say that my friend will never forget. :)

  @Simon: Thank you!

  @Danielle: Thanks for stopping by! I would imagine that a move to India would be even more jarring and adjustment-inducing than a move to CR, so I definitely look forward to reading more of your adventures.

  @Fabi: That's the idea... we'll create our own culture, a mix of our favorites.

  @Mary: I am so glad to finally be into this phase of simplicity/gratitude - it's such a nicer place to be. It's nice to know that I'm not alone in felling this way, either! And since you've embraced this as well and can let go of some "amenities," then I'd say you'll do well here in CR. Give it a try -- a long visit -- and see what you think.

  @Amelia: Thank you very much, I'm glad you enjoyed my post. I understand completely where you're coming from: when I was 18, I moved from suburban Philadelphia to rural Virginia - just about as big a change as I can imagine!

  @Saratica: When I first arrived, I made friends with many gringos... I felt we had a lot in common, dealing with the same feelings. Unfortunately, most of their stays here were brief, and I had to say goodbye to my newfound friends. I now insulate myself and try to make friends that have "staying power." With regards to your feed issues: I think this site may help.

  @Rick: Thank you! I have trouble properly incorporating photos into my posts, so I'm working on that. Good luck on your research & subsequent move and please hang around if you'd like!

• On March 9, 2008 at 4:36 pm, Scott S wrote:

  I have begun to find fascination in the number Americans that now live in Costa Rica. I must have read a dozen blogs about that in the last two days.

  Two that I specifically recall are Costa Rica HQ and one called yo-yoinparadise. They are both by Americans that moved to Costa Rica.

  They are all passionate advocates of how great a place Costa Rica is to live.

  Is there a large American population there now? Do many live together and are there "American" areas? Is there an expat community or communities? Are there any expat organizations in Costa Rica that keeps everyone together?

  Scott S.

• On March 9, 2008 at 6:14 pm, Erin wrote:

  Scott: Are you thinking about making a move, or just interested in what it was like for those that have? As far as I know, there are quite a few US expats here, though I can't give an exact number. As for keeping track of them all, some make themselves present in the blogosphere, in various expat groups, or through the American Embassy, and others prefer to just slip away into the Costa Rica ether.

  To all of you, thank you for your time and comments. I took a look at Costa Rica HQ, and I'm just curious how you found your way to me from there? I didn't see a link, so curiosity is getting the best of me.

• On March 11, 2008 at 6:24 pm, Oscar wrote:

  LOL! That's a sure fire way to learn, if there's one. That reminds me of something that happened to my friend Harry. He took a cab during his first visit to Costa Rica and told the driver that he wanted to see the countryside sights. Apparently, the driver was a bit careless and hit a pothole while driving at a considerable speed. Harry used to tell me that the taxi jumped in the air, and that he hit the roof with his head. "Only thing I still, to this day, thank God for -Harry would say- is that I didn't had my dentures on that day!"

• On March 26, 2008 at 5:29 am, joyceyoj wrote:

  What a lovely story very inspiring! I've been researching the net for info about this country which we plan to visit and have a vacation. Having checked Costa Rica HQ very detailed on what to expect but yours was pretty inspiring.

  Thanks a lot for sharing i did enjoy reading!

• On May 17, 2008 at 11:24 pm, Ram krishna wagle wrote:

  Hey Erin, as usual a great blog entry.

  Thanks for telling the world how hard times can be turned into fun and on top of that enable you to be a better person ie, adapting to a culture shock in pleasant way.

  Looking forward to your other adventures.

Street noise haunts my dreams, and the local motorcycles like to wake me up every night on their 1 a.m. jaunts. Pollution from the city’s huge bus fleet and myriad drivers invades my lungs and irritates my eyes. During rush hour, it takes 30 minutes to cover a distance of a kilometer or two. This comes part and parcel with the city life, but every once in awhile, a girl needs a break.

On top of city frustrations, the past few weeks have been busy and exceedingly stressful for both Fabi and I, and we were in need of a getaway. But with too much work and no vacation time in sight, we weren’t able to take off for the hills of Turrialba or the beaches of Manuel Antonio. And as nice as it is to hole up in the house, crawl under the covers, and refuse to let the outside world in, that plan of attack just wasn’t going to massage away the stress.

So instead of wallowing in the doldrums of irritability, we opted to be tourists in our own town. Rifling through my Costa Rica guidebooks, I crossed out all the museums we’d been to, parks we’d picnicked, and opted for something new. What we found was so tranquil, so beautiful, that I almost don’t want to mention it. We plan to return many times and my biggest fear will be to find our secret paradise teeming with people, just like the dirty streets of San José.

Lucky for me, my blog readership isn’t large enough to make such a dent, and since a guidebook hasn’t ruined this urban Shangri-La, I figure I’m safe to tell you. The Spirogyra Butterfly Garden is secreted away into a section of Goicoechea (Guadalupe) best known for its loud music and party scene. Just blocks from El Pueblo, the gardens are so quiet and peaceful that we could almost forget that we were in the heart of the city. And as I meandered through the gardens, zooming in on every butterfly I could find (and there were many), I felt some of my pent-up stress begin to dissolve. By the time we had finished the garden’s beautiful Contemplation Path loop, I was convinced that we’d fallen down the rabbit hole into our own version of Burnett’s secret garden.

The rest of the weekend was spent on other stress-relieving activities, like visiting the Parque Zoologico Simón Bolívar, which has greatly improved its conditions over the last few years, walking the streets of Barrio Amon and the pedestrian-only paths of downtown, enjoying iced tea at a tiny café, and wandering the sidestreet maze of our own part of town. It was more activity than we’d had in awhile, and yet we both felt more relaxed and refreshed than we had in a long time. It was the perfect weekend, just what we needed, and we’ve vowed to do it all again (at new locations) this weekend. And while it may seem odd to declare this at 24, I think I’ve finally discovered what weekends are for.

5 Comments

• On January 26, 2008 at 7:02 pm, fabi wrote:

  Yes baby.. we can re-discover the city and have fun!!!

  Let see what happen the next days.... more secrets and surprises will appear!!! :)

  Fabi

• On January 27, 2008 at 8:03 am, josue wrote:

  wow that butterfly garden looks awesome!. glad to hear you guys are having fun. we are too. and, you still have to come to the hills of turri :p

  love u bye

• On January 30, 2008 at 9:35 am, Teri wrote:

  Sometimes I wake up and say, what if this was my last day here, what would I do?

  It's nice to get familiar with your surroundings and enjoy being here now.

  Teri in Hermosa/Jaco

• On February 29, 2008 at 12:46 pm, darwin o. wrote:

  For those of us who have to settle for the hustle and bustle of everyday life in the urban jungle here in the states, it would be nice, even if it was just for a day, to see what it is like to be in an acutal jungle. Erin, you are SO lucky to have such a huge backyard!

• On March 3, 2008 at 1:58 pm, Erin wrote:

  Fabi: I know that being a tourist in your own city is a little silly, but our little weekend adventures are what keep me sane!

  Josue: They're incredible - I'm definitely dragging you & Lisa when you get back.

  Teri: That's a great philosophy! Unfortunately for me, there are so many things I have yet to do in CR that my hypothetical last day would probably be spent microplanning what to do!

  darwin: Thank you. I know I'm lucky, but like people everywhere, I tend to take my own backyard for granted... I hope that my explorations will continue and that I will always appreciate what I have.

Individual days seem to have passed slowly enough, but last January 6th merely feels like a distant yesterday. I distinctly remember the smell in the air, the [relative] heat, and the jittery excitement that coursed through my body that day. My first views of the Central Valley and its beautiful mountains are gloriously haze-free in my mind’s eye. I can still feel the terror of speeding along my first Costa Rican road in 7 years, with a taxista who seemed afraid of nothing at all. And seeing my apartment with my own two eyes, instead of through the photos I had poured over for months, is a moment that I will never forget. Indeed, the details of that day are as clear to me now as they were when I woke up on January 7th, 2007.

But no matter how well I remember that day, no matter how close it seems to me, I cannot deny the changes that a full year has brought. I came back to Costa Rica not knowing how long I would stay, having little idea of what awaited me, and very unsure of my Spanish, my self-sufficience, and even myself. Though I doubt that anyone ever knows herself entirely, I can state with certainty that I am much more self-aware than I once was.

There are few things that would test my character more than moving to a new country, throwing myself into a foreign language, and jumping head-first into a different culture. In many ways, my background in anthropology and Spanish helped my adjustment, but they also created a sense of false confidence. Though I was likely more prepared than many who make the move, every moment in my new home taught me something new. Most of these lessons were novel and exciting, grounds for funny stories I would tell in the future, but some truly tested my patience and fortitude.

On the lighter side, I now know how to make worm-free cas juice, I can effectively remove a tarantula from my home with only a Tupperware container and a few sobs of fear, I know to automatically translate a tico’s “puede ser” as a polite synonym for “no,” and I can throw a coherent, quite effective tantrum in Spanish. But I know also the frustration of being on the receiving end of prejudice - how it feels to be taken advantage of, charged gringo prices, hated for something my president did, and outright ignored because of an ugly stereotype.

A lesson I’m currently learning is how to not let this affect me. Racism, hate, and prejudice exist the world around and letting these attitudes hurt me only gives them momentum. On a good day, I remember this. On a bad day, my Spanish tantrum skills come in handy. As with everything else that I’ve learned here, this lesson is having its ups and downs, its struggles and victories. This one will take awhile, and in the meantime I do what I can to have power over my own situation.

Despite the downs, in actuality, I feel more tica than gringa now. Of course, there are things about me that will likely always remain gringo, but everyday I feel a slightly weaker tie to my U.S. roots. Spanish rolls off my tongue almost as easily as English, and some say my accent is hardly noticeable (though I don’t believe them). I toast my tortillas on the stovetop and I think it’s funny when tourists eat gallo pinto for anything other than breakfast. I think cumbia music is awesome and the way that ticos dance it is far better than the traditional Columbian style. Throwing toilet paper in the toilet is weird, though there’s nothing strange about washing my dishes in cold water.

I used to doubt that I’d adjust enough to feel truly comfortable in my tico surroundings, but with 367 days under my belt, I know that I’m well on my way. In fact, in perhaps the biggest indication of my shifting identity, whenever the mercury dips below 23 degrees, I get so cold that I swear my toes are going to fall off.

12 Comments

• On January 8, 2008 at 1:15 pm, Saratica wrote:

  Nice to hear from you again, gringuiTICA! Wish my Spanish were as good, but you are younger. I'm going with that...

• On January 8, 2008 at 1:24 pm, Fabi wrote:

  Hi my dear Gringuitica!!!

  Happy aniversary... is incredible how the time flies, right....

  Se q para vos ha sido dificil adapatarte e una nueva cultura, pero creo q lo has hecho muy bien!! Con el tiempo aprender??s muchas cosas mas y de esa manera te sentir??s mas ha gusto en lo q es tu nueva casa... Costa Rica!!

  Congratulations again... your dreams may come true in this crazy but beautifull place on earth!!

  with love,

  Fabi

• On January 9, 2008 at 9:56 am, Fabi wrote:

  ah.. your spanish is great!!! tu acento casi no se nota.... beleive me!!

• On January 9, 2008 at 11:33 am, Nadine wrote:

  It sounds as though you're settling in quite nicely, and you're a much more intrepid person than I will ever be. Loving the culture where you live probably has a bit to do with it as well! Congrats on a beautiful life and loving where you are!

• On January 14, 2008 at 6:54 pm, elle. wrote:

  hey laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaady. i miss you so much. congratulations on your anniversary.

• On January 14, 2008 at 8:55 pm, Jesse wrote:

  I thought I had culture shock once but it turned out to be food poisoning. Where's the whole "I hate this country" thing that my anthro profs said would happen? Three months must be long enough to know a place well enough to really hate it.

• On January 31, 2008 at 5:54 am, Doug wrote:

  Congratz.

  I've been full time here almost two years.

  Aint going nowhere.

  Jesse.

  People who can't :teach

  People who can : Do

  Nuff said !

• On March 2, 2008 at 1:36 pm, Jonathan wrote:

  Saludos me encanta leer tu blog, aunque no paso muy a menudo dejando un comment pero me agrad?? mucho este post y de verdad que me impuls?? a dejar el comentario.

  Me re?? bastante con lo del "puede ser"

  Feliz Aniversario jeje.

• On March 3, 2008 at 2:04 pm, Erin wrote:

  Saratica: I know, shame on me for posting so infrequently... unlike someone else who is actually attentive. ;-)

  Fabi: Thanks, but you know that I won't be satisfied until there's no trace of an accent!

  Nadine: Thank you so much, this certainly is an amazing place to live.

  elle.: Thanks chica, and it's your anniversary, too (more or less)!

  Jesse: I've actually felt my fair share of culture shock... discrimination and the like has given me a good wallop over the head. But it was certainly nothing like what I was taught to watch out for, you're right!

  Doug: Thanks, I look forward to being able to say the same.

  Jonathan: Muchísimas gracias, me alegro que le guste tanto. Y eso de "puede ser" es definitivo... la vida es mucho más simple si alguien mantiene en mente esa traducción! ;-)

• On April 3, 2008 at 8:50 pm, Chris wrote:

  Still here. Nice to read you.

• On April 3, 2008 at 9:11 pm, Chris wrote:

  !

• On April 4, 2008 at 8:43 am, Costa Rica Blog wrote:

  Transforming to a Tica...

  Expats originally come to Costa Rica for the beaches, the warm sun, the tasty food, and...

It is the hard drive. For the second time in ‘07, it has crashed and burned, taking everything with it. Not even a byte of info to be recovered. That’s okay though, as I have my most important files archived onto an external hard drive. Beyond the immediate hard drive issue, the problem was that I had a lemon. Yes, had. Hold your horses.

Apple’s official policy is that they will not replace a computer until it has had three major failures under-warranty. A borked keyboard, though it rendered my computer unusable, is not considered major, and so I therefore only had two majors. Furthermore, all work on the the Mac had been done in Costa Rica, where the computers apparently don’t sync records with the U.S. You may see where I’m going with this.

I called Apple U.S., sure that I would get further with them than with Apple Costa Rica. I had bought my Macbook in the U.S., the warranty was U.S. (worldwide usage), and the U.S. is more focused on customer service. It’s a cultural thing. Anyway, I fired up Skype, which threatened to bring the P3 Dell I’m using to its knees, and called the Apple 800-number (haha!). After sitting on hold for 20 minutes, unable to work for fear of crashing my writings, my phone call, and the computer in general, I began to chat with a nice man named Landus. I explained the problem to him, told him why I wanted a replacement computer instead of a replacement hard drive, and he said “no problem,” off in search of Someone In Charge who could order me the new computer. After another 10 minutes of holding, which brought the call to a full 1 hour, 10 minutes, the line went dead. Breathe, Erin, breathe.

I called back, waited on hold for another 20 minutes, and began a chat with Webster, who wasn’t quite as cheerful as Landus. Or helpful. He told me “no, sorry.” I said, “Put me through to your supervisor.” Supervisor Chris came on the line and for 25 minutes, treated me as only an asshole can, explaining that he didn’t care that I was out-of-country, used my computer for my job, and was being subjected to torture because of an assembly-line failure that smelled distinctly of rotten, lemony Macbook. Furthermore, he didn’t have any repair records from Icon (Apple Costa Rica), and even if he had, they’d be in Spanish, which he doesn’t speak. So sorry, he absolutely wasn’t going to help me. I tried staying cool as a cucumber, even tried pouring some honey on, but he didn’t care. I told him I wanted to speak with his supervisor. He said he was it.

By this time, I had been on the phone for about 2.5 hours, and was nearing tears of frustration. I just wanted a Macbook that worked. That’s Apple’s reputation, after all. So I told dear Christopher to transfer me to someone with a heart. That’s when Marlene at Customer Care came onto the line. In the first accented English I’d heard all day, Marlene asked me to detail the situation. I did, again. She explained, also again, that Apple won’t replace a product that’s only had two major failures. I asked for her sympathy — nay, I begged for it — and told her that in Costa Rica, parts and installation take about 6 weeks. That’s 6 weeks without my Macbook. 6 weeks on a PC. She caved.

Marlene called me “honey,” she identified with what it’s like living in a new country where things don’t work the way you’re used to, and she understood that a Macbook just shouldn’t work like this. After another hour on the phone, Marlene had ordered me a new computer, sent a shipping label to my email, and was clearing up the situation. Since I’m going back to the States for Thanksgiving, a brand new Macbook will be waiting, equipped with a faster processor than the one I already have and supplemented by all the original upgrades I ordered. The computer will come equipped with Leopard, iLife ‘08, and all the new goodies that Macbooks come with these days. It has a brand new warranty on it, which is quite convenient, given that my previous warranty was set to run out in a few weeks. Furthermore, Apple is sending me that Macbook before they even receive the old one… when I get to the States, my new Macbook already awaiting me, all I need do is affix their prepaid shipping label to a box, call the courier, and have them pick up the lemon at my doorstep.

Lemons happen, I don’t fault Apple for it. What matters is how customer support issues are dealt with after a problem has been identified. On the exterior, my 3.5+ hour story of woe may seem painful, but let’s face it: no computer manufacturer wants to replace a $1800 piece of equipment. But with a bit of patience and a lot of perseverance, Apple did it. Try getting that from a PC manufacturer.

12 Comments

• On November 14, 2007 at 12:54 pm, Helene wrote:

  Dear Gringuitica,

  I hear you loud and clear regarding computer problems!!!! I have tales to tell myself, but they don't call me darling, honey, etc. You must have very well developed patience and charming phone manners! By the way, how is the weather now? Has it cleared up to lighten your spiritn that category?

  Take care,

  Helene

  PS I will be in San Jose, Arenal, and Monteverde from Dec 13-20. I'd love to meet you in person over a great cup of Costa Rican coffee!

• On November 14, 2007 at 1:04 pm, Fabi wrote:

  Of course Mac is not perfect but definetly is better than PC System.... I passed a lot of predicamentes with the "powerfull PCs" and the most of the times, i have to fix the problems by my self (hardware and sofware problems, i mean)

  You have really good luck with this situation!!! estoy feliz que te vayan a dar una Macbook nueva...... Really, you had a "Lemon" Macbook!

  como dije, las Mac tendran sus problemas, nada es perfecto..... pero mucho mas estables que las Pcs parece que si lo son.... hasta ahora me gustaria la idea de tenrer una Mac algun dia.. maybe someday ;)

  Fabi!

• On November 14, 2007 at 3:59 pm, Mario wrote:

  I`ve been using Mac the last 14 years and the situation you describe sounds unbelieveble to me. In 14 years I had just 3 problems with my hard disk!! (and I work on graphic design)

  I would like to recomend you a place called Reprocolor (236 6070). They help a lot and are very "user friendly"

  Of course that will help you only if you live in or near San Jos??.

  I wish you good luck!!

• On November 14, 2007 at 7:31 pm, elle. wrote:

  hey lady!

  I'm so happy for you. i will email you soon about my seo woes. just google plantatree wine if you want to get a taste of my predicament. stupid flash!

  lisa

• On November 14, 2007 at 7:34 pm, Edrei wrote:

  I had that with my laptop and it's a Toshiba and a friend of mine had the same experience with their Dell laptop. We got ours replaced without problems at all. In fact, I got mine with an extra power plug to it as well and a free bag which was great.

  Seriously, to say Apple has the best customer service and is better than its non-mac counterparts sounds like you're caught in the fangirl-ism hype. I say we do work on what we work on best. I've had horrible problems working with Macs and I spurn them with a vengeance. Doesn't mean that other people can't use them the same way I use Windows and Linux platforms. I have everything at the palm of my hand and even more so when I custom build my rig myself.

  If it works with us, use it. But it doesn't mean that other things are bad.

• On November 14, 2007 at 11:49 pm, Ben wrote:

  The whole world should have a Mac because you got to muck around on the phone for 2 1/2 hours trying to get a lemon replaced and finally you managed to beg someone into doing their job??

  No offence but I think I'll stick with my HPs. ;)

• On November 15, 2007 at 6:57 am, Saratica wrote:

  congratulations! I was a Mac-Head until I became a real estate broker - all the MLS software was only available on a PC. I cried!!!! Now we all have PCs, I have an old ibook that I fire up every once in a while for nostalgia... to see my happy smiley face! How fun to get a whole new book! I'm toying with going back to mac once my sony vaio pos (piece of shit) breaks down totally... shouldn't be long now... have fun over thanksgiving.

• On November 15, 2007 at 1:39 pm, Erin wrote:

  Maybe I haven't had much luck with my PCs, but I've had a Dell, HP, & one off-brand (thank you, Sam's Club) laptop break down on me. With the off-brand, they simply refused, flat out, to honor the warranty, no matter what I did. After spending $300 on trying to prove it needed a repair (don't ask) and with no luck, I gave up and bought an HP.

  The HP worked well for quite awhile, until the hard drive failed. I called, talked to customer service for who-knows-how-long before finally being transferred to someone who "wanted" to help. After getting my promised part "mailed," it never showed up. Back to the drawing board.

  After the HP, I went with a Dell. It had a horrible, high-pitched ring to it every time it turned on, and I had to spend at least 5-6 hours on the phone, trying to explain the problem to people who clearly didn't speak English well enough. Regardless, I spent all that time on the phone only to have them misdiagnose the problem and send me a part that didn't fix the problem. Finally, after God knows how much longer on the phone, they agreed to send me a new laptop (keep in mind, it was less than a month old) and when it arrived, the specs were wrong. (Wrong amount of RAM, smaller hard drive than the original.)

  Maybe it sounds like Apple fangirl-ism, Edrei, but for me, this is the best service I've ever had with a computer problem. What further impresses me is the manner in which they're fixing the problem, which is to attend to my individual needs (only going to be in the States for 6 days) and not the corporate mantra. And Ben, their job is to tell me that my Macbook is under warranty and they will replace the bad part, not to forgo typical procedure and give me what I want. Furthermore, and I find this very impressive, they've given me $208 in software upgrades, including the new OS, and they've given me a brand new warranty. I am hard-pressed to believe that Dell or HP or anyone else would replace a 49-week old XP laptop with a new one, armed with Vista (not to say you'd want it) and new software plus restart the warranty back to day 1.

• On November 19, 2007 at 12:07 pm, Francisco Duran wrote:

  lo siento mucho... esta historia me dio mucho pesar cuando la lei! seguro fue muy angustiante en el momento... pero bien dicen que "cosas buenas vienen para los que saben esperar"!

  y es cierto, de las pcs no se puede esperar mucho, son mas del tipo desechables, pero en mi caso que soy del area de it, nunca he tenido muchos problemas con las pcs y en todo caso y como ultimo recurso yo mismo compro los repuestos y las arreglo ahi en mi casa. si tuviera una mac, creo que no podr??a hacer ese tipo de "despelotes"... por eso y como dicen: "cada loco con su tema". :o)

• On November 27, 2007 at 10:39 pm, Sean wrote:

  Hey Erin. After reading your post all I could think was "wow!". It's good to know that Apple stood by its product and warranty. I hope you enjoy your new machine.

  It's also good to know you do regular backups. Even new hardware can fail, so you might even want to consider backing up your external drive to CD's or DVD's once in a while too for extra protection.

  Side note, all computers are PC's. Personal Computer. Back in the day, yes I can say that as I'm 35 :) you had a choice of an IBM compatible (DOS, Windows or Linux based Operating Systems) or an Apple computer using Apple's Operating System.

  I know that I'm probably opening a can of worms here but now that Apple computers are mostly Intel based processors (which run Windows too) I think it's safe to say the choices are either a Windows based, Apple based or Linux based computer :)

  For the record, I use both Apple and Windows based machines along with a few flavors of Linux. Yay multiple booting OS computers.

• On December 10, 2007 at 7:52 am, elle. wrote:

  I LOVE YOU.

• On December 11, 2007 at 10:17 am, Teri wrote:

  and here I thought I was all alone in computer hell with my computer woes.

  Thanks for sharing. Teri

9 Comments

• On November 7, 2007 at 2:55 pm, Francisco Duran wrote:

  lo siento por la computadora... tambien me ha pasado y definitivamente los discos duros son los que fallan mas a menudo.

  tenias respaldos? :o/

• On November 7, 2007 at 3:46 pm, Erin wrote:

  Si, despues de la ultima vez, si! Pero ahora tengo q esperar q me digan lo q pasa y luego, q Apple me arregle la situacion. Ya veremos...

• On November 7, 2007 at 4:19 pm, Fabi wrote:

  Yo tambien entiendo muy bien por lo que est??s pasando!!!!

  Esperemos a ver que pasa con la Tienda y si es necesario que te cambien la Mac por una nueva de una vez por todas!!!!

  Im with you! FABI

• On November 9, 2007 at 2:58 pm, LondonGirl wrote:

  OK now I feel way ignorant for not understanding the spanish - fingers crossed you get it fixed. I would hate to be back in the world of internet cafes...

• On November 10, 2007 at 3:16 pm, Arthus Erea wrote:

  Sorry to hear that... *crosses fingers for you*

  Makes me glad to be using Time Machine now... :)

• On November 10, 2007 at 4:54 pm, Chris Morrell wrote:

  Sorry to hear that Erin, I lost a Macbook hard drive also, now I back up everything on my local server. Wasn't a fun way to teach myself to backup data, lost months of work. Goodluck and I hope it isn't the hard drive!

• On November 12, 2007 at 8:12 am, elle. wrote:

  aaaaah. pobrecita. josue me dijo que eso te ha pasado y lo siento mucho. tengo que hacer un respaldo pq tengo miedo ahora. cuidate mucho y buena suerte con todo.

• On November 12, 2007 at 9:11 am, Ben wrote:

  Ouch... that sucks. I hope it's under warranty cause computer stuff is so expensive in Costa Rica.

• On November 14, 2007 at 1:16 pm, Fabi wrote:

  que bueno que ya todo esta solucionado... Pronto tedras tu Mac nueva en casa!!! ;)

I know I said I liked the rain. I wasn’t lying. Not really. It’s just that, at one time, I was too naive and inexperienced to give an informed opinion. Let’s call that time “August”. But September and October have been so ridiculous that it almost borders on amusing. I would laugh about it, but that requires that I wring out my sense of humor and, quite frankly, that would be wasted effort because there’s no chance of it drying before summer arrives.

I am can be a very patient woman, but even I am up to my eyeballs in water. My front entranceway smells as if it were totally caked in mud. Of course, it isn’t, but that’s not the blessing you might assume it to be. Mud smell + no mud = No way to rid myself of the smell. My bath towel refuses to dry, perfumed with the powerful scent of Eau de Mold. This is an unsolvable puzzle because, obviously, I cannot wash my towel because it won’t dry. In that case, I wouldn’t be able to dry, either, and I’d rather smell slightly of mold than of day-old human. Also, I haven’t washed any clothing in two weeks because Mr. Sun won’t come out and play. Looking on the bright side though, it’s times like these when I really appreciate working from home. The pièce de resistance in all this wetness is my bed. It’s where I spend my most comforting hours, and yet it reeks of mildew. Unfortunately, I’m stuck with what I’ve got because if I don’t use my comforter, I fear that I will die of hypothermia caused by the chilly nights. And the constant, inescapable dampness. Brr.

I finally broke down and sent my clothing, sheets, and comforter to the cleaner yesterday. Since I arrived in Costa Rica, I have refused to pay for someone to clean my laundry because 1) I like the smell of sun-dried clothes, 2) it’s just not something I want to pay for, and 3) it’s a pain in the culo to bag up all my laundry and lug it to the cleaner. But Emilia offered to take it for me (in her car), and so I gave in. Of course, they’re so incredibly backed up that they couldn’t wash & dry yesterday, so last night, I mummified myself in the warmth of the one blanket and sweatshirt I had left in the house and tried to ward off the wet chill. The joys of winter.

So as I mentioned, the ticos have a seemingly interminable list of words for rain and its accompanying conditions. If you live here, these are important to know because you won’t get away with a simple “it’s raining”. Here is my list of general Spanish mixed with tiquismos (costarriqueñismos, or Costa Rica-specific slang) for all things rainy. Here’s to speaking like a tico!

Rain

• pelo de gato: Literally, this means “cat fur”, but in rainy terms, it refers to a gently misting rain. Example: Deje de quejarse, mae, solo es un pelo de gato.
• goterones: Huge raindrops that make a plopping sound, your warning of the deluge to come. Example: Ya sentí los primeros goterones, vaya a recoger la ropa!
• garúa: Long, soft, misty raindrops that almost seem to evaporate before they hit the ground. Example: Solo está garuando, pero ahorita viene el aguacero.
• cilampa: Sideways drizzle that is nearly impossible to escape unless you don a parka. Example: Casi me estoy disfruntado de esta cilampa.
• llovizna: Regular drizzle. Example: Están reportando lloviznas en Chepe y solamente pelos de gato en Alajuela.
• aguacerillo/aguacerito: Very tico, this is the diminutive of aguacero (downpour), and it is the steady rain that hasn’t quite achieved torrent status. Example: Apenas fue un aguacerillo, con lo poco que llovió.
• aguacero: If you look out the window on a typical afternoon, this is what you’ll see: torrential rains that make monsoons a little jealous. Example: Mae, ya no aguanto este aguacero! No puedo hacer nada!
• tormenta: This is a thunderstorm, but here in Costa Rica, the lightening illuminates the sky completely and the thunder crashes so loudly that it shakes the foundation of your home. Example: Diay, fijese el aguacero que tuvimos hoy!
• baldazo: It’s raining buckets. Example: Mae, vea que baldazo!
• cielo roto: Meaning “broken sky”, it’s similar to saying that the heavens have opened up. Example: San Pedro es cielo roto.
• diluvio: A deluge. Example: Ay, qué diluvio más fuerte hoy!
• temporal: A steady, strong rain that lasts for days. Example: Con estos temporales, hace cinco dís que no deja de llover.
• las lluvias del niño: Rains that come at the end of the year (Christmastime). Example: Cuando lleguen las lluvias del niño, ya sabremos que termina el invierno.
• granizo: Hail. Unfortunately, not an uncommon occurrence here in Tiquicia. Example: Se cayó una granizada.

Rainy Words

• mojazón: A term for when everything — ground, trees, the entire world — seems to be completely soaked. Example: Es todo una mojazón afuera!
• embarrialado: Muddy puddles. After a strong rain, the entire country seems to be completely drenched in mudsoaked. Example: Guacala! Está todo embarrialado.
• charcoso: Completely puddled. Example: Tengo que ponerme otros cachos porque está tanto charcoso afuera.
• suamposo: So wet that it’s swamp-like. Example: Que suamposo está Chepe!
• estilarse: To be soaked to the bone. Example: Estoy estilando… qué frío!

And yes, before you ask, it is raining right now. It’s an aguacerillo.

(Thank you to Saratica for inspiring this post.)

13 Comments

• On October 17, 2007 at 12:49 pm, Fabi wrote:

  HI!!

  yes, the rain is part of us... of our crazy country!!!

  Y aunque nos hemos acostumbrado mucho a la epoca lluviosa... cada vez m??s se pone m??s dificil para todos!

  Lluvia, lluvia, lluvia.... this is your favorite land on earth... Im sure about it!!

• On October 17, 2007 at 12:50 pm, Chris Morrell wrote:

  I've viewed the powers of Costa Rican rain in person a few times and it's a site to see. The only thing I can compare it to would be rain in Atlanta but for very different reasons. In Atlanta generally when it rains, it comes down in buckets and with the entire city being concrete the water forms enormous rivers as none of the rain can soak into the ground. In Costa Rica, there was literally so much rain that even though some of it was soaking into the ground there were still temporary rivers all over the place and all the streets became mudpits. Fun times, stay dry! I'll dry a towel just for you and smother myself in it's warmness ;)

• On October 17, 2007 at 1:10 pm, Narziss wrote:

  Ah! I loved this post. I, too, (like you in the past?) love rain like anything. But then again, I can only try and imagine the situation like, if there is nothing but that; and yes, I too would want a change then.

  But amongst the vocabulary you supplicated us with, I think I like the pelo de gato rain the best! :)

• On October 17, 2007 at 4:13 pm, elle. wrote:

  Erin! I thought I would never hear you utter these words! I am kind of sad that I missed the rainy season. It's so ironic that I missed the worst weather in Canada, only to catch the best weather in Costa Rica. Remember, without the rain there would be no green!

• On October 18, 2007 at 12:11 pm, josue wrote:

  i was going to suggest you look at the bright side of rain, but it's got no bright side, IT SUCKS!

• On October 18, 2007 at 2:09 pm, Erin wrote:

  @Fabi: S??, es mi tierra favorita pero, en serio, ya no aguanto m??s esta lluvia! Q pase, y muy pronto! ;)

  @Chris: Way to rub it in, dude. But I did get all my clean stuff back yesterday and oh, wow, was it fun to dive in face-first and inhale the scent of fresh laundry!

  @Narziss: Like almost everything, rain is nice, but only in moderation. I feel like God turned on the faucet and forgot to turn it off! We're the county that Seattle makes fun of. :(

  @elle: I hath them uttered! I'm sick of it. Ready for the persistent heat of summer! Screw the green.

  @josue: You got it, dude!

• On October 20, 2007 at 6:27 pm, Uri Ridelman wrote:

  I see you have already familiarized yourself with our rainy weather. Even though I'm a Costa Rican I have to admit that I had never heard the word cilampa. Where exactly did you hear that one?

  I like rain but when you get it seven to eight months a year by October you are already praying for it to stop. Especially this year when the heavy rainfall has already caused so many tragedies. The floods, slides and road closures seem never-ending.

  I guess we just have to be patient.

  Take care!

• On October 22, 2007 at 12:08 pm, Esther wrote:

  Erin, let's combine our climates and divide the humdity/rainfall in two and impart equal parts to each, okay? :) I just get so sick of all the BROWN everywhere!! Stay dry if you can!! Kisses.

• On October 28, 2007 at 8:26 am, Vidar wrote:

  Ah mira, pelo de gato no la conocia (con acento en la i, 0 ganas de ponerlo :D).

  Suamposo me parece un horror, como todo spanglish...

  Y no desees granizo, la ultima granizada que hubo aca rompio media ciudad, caian pedazos de hielo del tama??o de pelotas de golf, i shit you not.

• On October 28, 2007 at 10:08 pm, Helene wrote:

  Hi Erin,

  You must be a great writer, because your wit and humor really came through in your comments. In Southern Califirnia, we wish for rain, and we got only fire!!!

  I planning a first time trip to Costa Rica Dec 13-20, but I'm so scared of Dengue Fever, I'm thinking of not going. We had planned Tortuguero, Arenal, Monteverde, and San Jose. I'd like to hear your idea of the Dengue Fever outbreak, and am I dumb to cancel it and be worried? I am REALLY a magnet for mosquitoes here in the US.

  Take care!

  Helene

• On October 30, 2007 at 3:20 pm, Francisco Duran wrote:

  es cierto, esta muy bueno este post... hay un par de terminos que tambien se usan mucho... y se te escaparon... los podes confirmar con otros ticos:

  sereno: es una lluviecita casi imperceptible que cae de noche y de madrugada. es la culpable de que la ropa tendida de noche amanezca mojada y tambien de muchas enfermedades respiratorias (como el catarro o la gripe) que se dan producto de salir de noche sin abrigo. Mi abuelita decia que salir de noche era malo porque te pod??a agarrar el sereno.

  perros y gatos: cuando hay un aguacero muy fuerte, tambi??n la gente dice que est??n lloviendo perros y gatos... y esto no s??lo es ac?? en Costa Rica... Lo he o??do en otros pa??ses... pero ac?? hay una malformaci??n que dicen tambi??n (esta te va a costar pronunciarla): est??n cayendo "truinganos y fusinganos". Me acuerdo haber oido una canci??n con estos t??rminos y mi mam?? la cantaba a veces.

  en fin... es una peque??a colaboraci??n... saludos!

• On November 1, 2007 at 6:31 am, Tom wrote:

  Atlanta would love to have your problem! I agree that too much of anything is a bore, and the mildew on the bedding would be a drag.

  Keep the air moving as much as possible and before you know it you'll be griping about how hot and dry it is.

• On November 1, 2007 at 8:29 am, Erin wrote:

  @Uri: Ugh, unfortunately, we're all too familiar! Thank goodness it's finally letting up. As for cilampa, it's actually one of the first words (not just rain-related) that I really learned in CR. I was at a vivero with my "family" (my landlady and her daughter), and a very light, sideways rain was falling. I asked what it was called, and they told me!

  @Esther: Unfortunately, in not too long (February-ish), I'll be begging for some rain because it will be hot, sticky, and very brown! Hope all is well.

  @Jaja, sí, no sé cómo es en Argentina, pero aquí hay muchísimo Spanglish! Todos dicen "sorry" y "okay" y un montón de otros términos así. Pero sí, se dice pelo de gato para ese tipo de lluvia, y creo q es una de las expresiones más usadas! Y sí, sé q no quiero granizo... son terribles!

  @Helene: Thanks. :) You know, I wouldn't let yourself get too worried by the dengue. First of all, the only place you'll really run the risk is Tortuguero, so if you let your fear get ahold of you, just cut that part out. However, I've been to the Caribbean side, and if you're careful, you'll be fine. Just bring some bug repellent (the eucalyptus stuff seems to really work, especially if you don't like the idea of using deet) and apply it regularly. On another note, I just went to Monteverde for the first time (going to blog it, I think), and it was the most incredible place I've ever been. And they literally don't have dengue there. Don't cancel your trip!

  @Francisco: Gracias! La vdd, no había escuchado ninguno de esos términos, entonces te los agradezco. Si no me equivoco, perros y gatos es otra cosa de Spanglish, vdd? Lo q siempre aprendemos es a cántaros, pero este parece ser una traducción del inglés, cats and dogs. Ud. sabe?

  @Tom: Any extreme is tiresome, whether it be too much rain or too little. Right now, we're entering into the perfect time when there's mostly sun, but with the occasional rain. By February, you're right: I'll be wishing for rain again!

Living in Costa Rica sometimes makes me feel like a kid again, but unfortunately, it’s in all the wrong ways: I feel clumsy and out of place, unable to navigate an unfamiliar culture. Like a child, I have to ask how to behave in everyday situations: How do you politely answer the telephone? When I greet an acquaintance on the street, what is the common salutation? Should I wait for a verbal invitation to enter a home, or is it implied? And, I’m sorry, did you tell me to eat that flower? If I didn’t ask these questions, I could certainly live my life, but I’d always stand out like a sore thumb, and that is far from being my goal.

Over the last few months, my cultural gaffs have decreased somewhat, making way for more humorous situations that I like to label gringa moments. They can be mistakes of my own, or simply be surprises encountered when living in a new country, but they almost always turn into those stories that you???re not able to laugh about in the moment, but given some time, retell with tears of laughter running down your face.

1. During my first month here, a giant backyard tree dropped fruit all over the ground, almost begging me to take a bite. Emila, my landlady, told me that it was cas, a bitter but delicious fruit perfect for blending into a drink. So, armed with a blender, water, and an unhealthy amount of sugar, I made my first fruit drink, slightly confused and turned off by the blender carnage: chunky cas bits (pits, seeds, and skin) that floated around in my glass. About 5 months and hundreds of glasses of cas juice later, I was informed (through streaming tears of laughter) that one has to strain the juice before drinking it. Yeah, I knew that.
2. Unused to the auto-locking doors and gates in Costa Rica, I inadvertently locked myself out of my home one morning. Of course, I had to do so at 9 a.m. on the one day that my neighbors weren???t going to be home all day. I was without my computer (and therefore my work), without a cell phone, without an extra key, and even without shoes. I considered my options and, after determining that I had none, I walked barefoot to my backyard gate, scaled my wall MacGyver-style, and broke into my neighbors??? house, nearly tearing it apart in my search for the key to my own. My neighbors later told me where the hide-a-key was, after praising my wall climbing skill and general lack of shame at having the Costa Ricans watch my gringa butt break into her own home.
3. I like a clean house, though I hate to sweep and mop, so I always ask that people take their shoes off when they pass the threshold of the front door. My Costa Rican guests usually reacted to my request with a slightly puzzled expression, and then hesitant compliance, placing their shoes on my welcome mat and gingerly stepping inside. Fast-forward to February, a month into my stay, when I found a HUGE, HAIRY, LIVE tarantula in my shower. (This is even more terrifying given that I am legally blind without my glasses and you know you can???t shower with your glasses on, leaving a blind me to step into her poisonous spider-infested shower.) So yes, my tico friends, I get it now. New policy is that you may wear shoes inside??? even in the shower. I do.



4. The culture of compliments is different in Costa Rica, and a gringa???s got to prepare herself: Waiters call you mami (sexy mama, more or less), taxi drivers call you mi amor (my love), and your boyfriend will rave about big ass and piernotas (big legs), lovingly christening you his gordita (little fatty). These are not just acceptable nicknames, but highly flattering (tell a tica that she???s got a huge, jiggly culote and she???ll shake it with pride). Being who I am, though, I have instructed my boyfriend to steer clear of the adjectives grande (big) and gorda (fat), but to liberally sprinkle in princesa (princess), ___ de mi vida (___ of my life), and anything with the diminutive -ita (small) . He thinks it???s pretty funny. I think it???s pretty serious. We make it work by talking about my culito (little butt, thank you very much).

Cultural differences can be a curse or one big bag of laughs. I, for one, have chosen to go with the later, chalking up uncomfortable moments to language miscommunications and cultural misunderstandings, filing them under the category of Lessons Learned. And though I???m sure that I???ll be learning for the rest of my life, at least I???ll have a bunch of humorous anecdotes to tell the grandchildren.

21 Comments

• On October 10, 2007 at 12:39 am, dreamweaver wrote:

  OMG! Um, is the tarantula considered a "curse" or "big bag of laughs?" I'm afraid that would have sent me right back to the airport, hon. I can relate to the miscommunications and cultural misunderstandings since I'm an expat too, but that would have sent me right over the edge, so thank goodness there are no tarantulas in Germany! You're one brave lady!

  And, how did we get the little miss out of our shower??

• On October 10, 2007 at 10:06 am, Chris Morrell wrote:

  That tarantula looks huge, should have put a leash on it and walked it up and down the block. In regards to the cas juice, should have just told them you like your drinks with a little crunch in them. Finally added you to an RSS reader so I can keep track of things :)

• On October 10, 2007 at 11:49 am, Fabi wrote:

  Culture, culture, culture... is different.. but for this reason it's interesting at the same time!!!

  Definetly, I will not bother you with the "gordita" or "culote" tico expressions, no no. I really want to stay alive..... but with the other ones, I will!!

  This is crazy CR, a land full of "piropos", "versos", "apodos" and really much more... ;)

• On October 10, 2007 at 3:15 pm, Josh wrote:

  That's one big freaking spider. Most spiders don't bother me much, but I do believe I would have ran out of the bathroom upon seeing that thing.

  What do female waitresses call men? Do they have rather feisty terms for them as well?

• On October 10, 2007 at 6:36 pm, Erin wrote:

  @dreamweaver: Well, now it's considered a "big bag of laughs"! At the time, I didn't think it was one bit funny and, as I said, was terrified of stepping on one. I couldn't even get into my bed for weeks without checking under covers, pillows, etc. Now, though, I just pat myself on the back and congratulate myself for facing Aragog and coming out on the winning side (that's something to smile about!). And how'd I get that huge sucker out? With Tupperwear. Because, oh yes, that is how I roll.

  @Chris: I do believe you had a similar reaction the first time I tarantula blogged. :D And I'm so excited about being a part of your RSS aggregation! Woohoo.

  @Fabi: You are a smart, smart man. <3, your peque??ita y flaquita. (Haha, I crack myself up.)

  @Josh: Yes, he was big. Probably 6 inches in diameter, including his legs. And he was fury. And, GET THIS, he hissed!! But he is no more, so there. Women are less... assertive... than men are, and as far as I know, they don't really have names for men. At least none that I've heard of. Sorry to dash your hopes! ;-)

• On October 10, 2007 at 7:39 pm, Josh wrote:

  A giant hissing spider. Wonderful. I'll stay here in Ohio, thanks...

  And - alas! Indeed, I was hoping to head down there to have some beautiful female waitress address me as "big sexy man" or something similar. Dasher of hopes, you are! :)

• On October 10, 2007 at 10:18 pm, cristina wrote:

  That spider is huge!!!! So much for the itsy-bitsy spider.

• On October 11, 2007 at 1:08 am, dreamweaver wrote:

  Tupperware??? I don't think I could have done that either. My kids and I are sitting here laughing about what I'd have done had we been in the same situation, and I think (had I not grabbed my suitcase and headed directly for the airport) I'd have run outside after closing the bathroom door and waited for help, or called the fire department or...something. A giant hissing spider. Yeah, I'll stay in Germany, thanks, and I probably won't complain about the silver dollar size spiders we get in the house anymore, either.

  And isn't it funny that I thought the spider a female, and you thought of it as male??

• On October 11, 2007 at 4:41 am, Costa Rica » Blog Archives » Costa Rica & CAFTA wrote:

  [...] American IdiotThe culture of compliments is different in Costa Rica, and a gringa???s got to prepare herself: Waiters call you mami (sexy mama, more or less), taxi drivers call you mi amor (my love), and your boyfriend will rave about big ass and … [...]

• On October 12, 2007 at 6:37 am, Talia wrote:

  you are an awesome writer. i appreciate being able to read this (and relate to this) as i avoid writing my spanish paper due in just a few short hours. man i just want to be back. and btw, i had one of those tarantulas in my bathroom too. i always wore shoes.

• On October 13, 2007 at 6:19 pm, Brian Requarth wrote:

  Cultural misunderstanding are a lot of fun. Several years ago when I was living in San Pedro with a home stay family I was eating dinner with my Tico Mom and her two daughters. I was telling them about what had happened to me at school that day. I tried to retell my story of how I was walking through the cafeteria at the school and I slipped and took a spill in front of a bunch of people. As I tried to explain the story I finished by trying to say how embarrassed I was, but it didn't come out exactly how I wanted. I said "Estoy muy embarasado" (I'm extremely pregnant). All three of the woman were cracking up and one of them literally shot juice through her nose. It added to my earlier embarrassment at school, but we all got a really good laugh!! As?? es el proceso de aprender y experimentar otra idioma y cultura.

• On October 14, 2007 at 10:14 am, Jehan wrote:

  erin ~ a tarantula, eeeeek! i don't blame you for doing anything and everything to find that key. i also love the diminuitive :) i look forward to catching you up with a message soon -- is there an address i can mail you?

  back in virginia, i'm surrendering to the gorgeous fall season (it's my favorite, and i want to say your's, too!), with the cool breeze and what feels like infinitely illuminated blue sky. breathe in deep all the fresh air around you, look forward to writing soon!

  love & fresh apple cider sips your way.

  ps -- your post reminded me of my english composition course in my first-year of college: autobiography & anecdote! one of my fave classes. quick -- could you explain what abc costing and FIFO are, again :)

• On October 15, 2007 at 12:35 am, Esmit P??rez wrote:

  Besides telling you to strain the juice, did they warn you cas may have lots of little worms in it?

• On October 15, 2007 at 2:30 am, Darwin wrote:

  These cultural misunderstandings is probably the most amusing part of the blog. I'll call these gringuitica moments. Whether it be making your special smoothie concoction (with seeds and pits included) or bringing out the inner Macgyver in you (I can't believe you remember that show) or spending quality time with nature's wildlife (the crazy thing about this is that even with impending doom within inches of you, you still had it in you take snap a photo of your maker...priceless), it is these stories that keep me coming back for me. As for the compliments, if i ever tried telling a latina in america she was a gordita, all i can see if happening is her boot to my glute. Anyways, thanks for sharing!

• On October 17, 2007 at 11:28 am, Erin wrote:

  @Josh: They may still call you "big, sexy man", just not out of cultural habit... isn't it better that way?!

  @Christina: Nope, not so itsy bitsy!

  @dreamweaver: Well, everyone I knew was either at work or out, so I had to deal with it on my own. There was no way I was going to leave a tarantula to wander about my shower and, eventually, my home. As they say, drastic times call for drastic measures!

  @Talia: Thank you! And how nice to know that I'm not the only one with the terrifying arachnids in my home. Heh. Good luck with your paper, chiquita.

  @Brian: I've made the "embarazada" mistake, too... I was 16 at the time and meeting my then-boyfriend's friends for the first time. I first made the mistake of telling them I was exitada ("horny", not "excited") to meet them, and when I realized what I had said, out slipped that I was embarazada (again, that's "pregnant", not "embarrassed") for my mistake. Yeah, that meeting went real well.

  @Jehan: Well, if you're talking email, it's just erin [at] gringuitica [dot] com, but if you'd like my mailing address, just shoot me a line. I used to hate fall, you know, because my parents made me rake leaves. When I got older and moved out, I liked autumn very much because it was cool and beautiful, and no raking was necessary!

  @Esmit: Eww, no! I knew that guayabas had worms (it still weirds me out to scoop them out!), but not cas! Now I wonder if the chunky bits really were just pit and skin. :( That makes me want to vomit...

  @Darwin: I think I like "gringuitica moments"... has a bit of a ring to it! To clear a few things up, though: I don't remember MacGyver because I never watched it. I was too involved with my Barbie dolls! Also, the snapping of a photo was not for documentation purposes, but rather because I thought my only hope might be to snap the photo, upload it to the Internet, and make Fabi look at it to tell me whether it would kill me or not. In the end, I opted not to do this because I was afraid it would crawl out of the tub and into my bed before I got a response.

  Thank you all so much for reading and commenting. I can't tell you how much it is appreciated!

• On October 17, 2007 at 4:27 pm, elle. wrote:

  Erin, you are hilarious and I miss you. Your cas juice tastes normal to me.

• On October 18, 2007 at 2:15 pm, Erin wrote:

  I miss you too, elle! And thank you, but I think you were as much of a cas newbie as I, so we were both just idiots together. :D

• On October 30, 2007 at 3:25 pm, Verny Rivera wrote:

  Erin said: tell a tica that she???s got a huge, jiggly culote and she???ll shake it with pride

  dont agree... you could die if you want to look like a player with some girls... actually there is a law that could send you to jail for 2 years, if a girl thinks that your "compliment" was understood as an insult she can make a formal complaint you ARE in troubles.

• On October 30, 2007 at 4:34 pm, Erin wrote:

  I'm not sure if that new law applies to compliments/comments, Verny... I thought it was more directed aimed at domestic abuse (physical and verbal, I know). As far as I know, telling someone that she has a sexy butt isn't an insult.

  However, even if it is, I was more referring to admiring your girlfriend's culo. In CR, ticas understand that culote means sexy, but to English speakers, it just sounds like an insulting translation for "huge [ugly] ass". A cultural difference, for sure!

• On October 30, 2007 at 5:14 pm, Verny Rivera wrote:

  I was not talking about the new law, it is another one. I this law it is not accept to say a thing to a girl (you can do it if you want, but you are running the risk that she thinks that you said is offensive and make complaint against you)...

  As a confidence relationship you could say some stuff to your couple but it doesn't mean you are free to say that to a girl in the street (and that's my point) because not all of them could be happy to hear that... actually most of the girls i know hate when a stranger pays them a compliment

• On October 31, 2007 at 4:52 pm, Erin wrote:

  I agree with that. I don't like the catcalls on the street, either! They're disgusting and men are better to keep their mouths shut.

  That said, this post was meant to be amusing, and I certainly am not advocating telling random women that you'd like to tap it. I was more referring to my particular situation and that fact that I do not have culote, but rather a sexy culito. As I said, a joke!

The very first time I met him, he was on his cell phone outside my front gate, rapid-fire Spanish spilling out of his mouth. We went out for coffee that night, with some mutual friends, and throughout the evening, I tried my best to decipher tico slang and the inside jokes of friends who had known each other for years. I thought I caught him staring once or twice, though I couldn’t be completely sure because his eyes darted away as quickly as they had drifted over. Smiles and laughs were exchanged, as were phone numbers between new friends. And as we walked back to the car, he put his hand on the small of my back, guiding me away from an oncoming car. To this day, I still cannot describe that touch accurately: strong enough to protect, but light enough to show that he respected my body. It electrified me.

The next few weeks were filled with excessive text messaging, not-a-date dates, and mild flirtations that only heightened my interest. He was the one man that I wanted and the only one who wouldn’t let me have him. Finally, we made plans for an actual date. Though I never “dress up” for a man, I found myself magically in a mall, with a friend and a credit card, trying on every pair of jeans in a wildly-overpriced store. I settled on a pair that hugged my curves and accented my behind because, you know, that’s the latino style. So I did my hair, stuffed contacts into my eyes, hauled out my makeup bag and, if I’m not mistaken, even wore flats (as opposed to the flip flops that always seem to be fused to my feet).

He didn’t know how much was riding on the evening, but I did: a lot depended on that night. So off I went, praying that the extra effort would do the trick. The restaurant was wonderful, though I was a bit preoccupied with what would happen later that night. After dinner, we came back to my house where we sat and talked for hours. This was one of the things that I so enjoyed: he was engaging, intelligent, and a fantastic conversationalist. But then he told me it was time to go home and I, knowing the implications of this kiss-free farewell, opened my front gate with a heavy heart. As he waited for a taxi, we chatted and then, though the exact details of the preceding events were erased from my short term memory by the intense dopamine release that followed, he turned and kissed me.

If his touch had electrified me, his lips set me on fire. I can hardly remember anything but the joy, relief, and sheer pleasure pumping through my veins, but I do know that the kisses lasted forever. His lips were as sweet and unassuming as that first hand on my back: sensual and strong, without taking any undeserved liberties. We were completely in sync and the kiss was, for lack of a better word to describe it, transcendental. Extraordinary. And very, very worth the wait.

The more time we’ve spent together, the better it’s been. Fabi is my support, my companion, and my very best friend. On a bad day, he knows better than anyone how to paint a smile on my face. When my head is pounding, he knows just how to massage the pain and tension out of my muscles. When something’s wrong, even though I say it isn’t, he knows just how to draw the truth out of me. He understands me completely.

There is love and then there is true love. True love is powerful and strong. It knows no boundaries. Everyday with that person feels like a gift. Seeing him really does make your heart expand. His smiles make you smile. When he takes your hand, you feel loved and when he puts his arm around you, you never want to leave that moment. It sounds ridiculous, straight out of Harlequin romance, but it’s true. This love is deeper, different, more comfortable and real than I’ve ever known. Love like this lasts a lifetime.

Where were you when your life changed forever?

17 Comments

• On September 17, 2007 at 7:24 pm, Josh wrote:

  I'm so happy for you. It's not often that we find someone who makes us feel that way and I'm happy that you've found someone.

  I have a long list of things that have significantly changed my life, too many for a comment. Maybe I'll write up some posts about them. :)

• On September 17, 2007 at 11:04 pm, Saratica wrote:

  Staring at my future husband while he made me a sandwich. Didn't even know his name... Good moment. And GREAT post - thank you!

• On September 17, 2007 at 11:25 pm, Pablo wrote:

  Congratulations, Erin! I bet it's an amazing feeling =)

• On September 18, 2007 at 6:42 am, Edrei wrote:

  Standing at the payphone feeling my heart sink and torn apart as she said her last goodbyes.

  Standing in front of the convention hall door wondering what that kiss meant and whether a girl like her would ever be interested in a guy like me.

  That's great Erin!! I hope that feeling lasts forever with you. :) I know I'd wish it on anyone. Moments like that that shape our world for the better are moments we should never ever let go.

• On September 18, 2007 at 1:01 pm, Bronwen wrote:

  :) Your post makes my heart warm, and you reignite my belief in true love.

  I'm so, so happy for the both of you.

• On September 18, 2007 at 1:12 pm, Fabi wrote:

  Hi, my sweet angel!! This post is awesome!

  Solo voy a decir que tengo q agradecerle a la vida por permetirme haberte conocido... Gracias por dejarme ser feliz con una mujer como t??!!

  Todo este tiempo que hemos pasado juntos ha servido para darme cuenta de todo el amor que te tengo y todo el amor que ser??a capaz de dar!!

  Solo contigo he llegado a compreder ese sentimiento y que ahora es m??s real q nunca.

  Gracias por ser como eres, para m??, la combinaci??n perfecta entre belleza, inteligencia, amistad y la m??s grande dulzura del mundo!!

  I really love you.. I need to say thanks to life for this relationship with the most beautiful girl in the universe!!

  Te quiero mucho, gringuitica and happy "monthiversary" :D

  Soy cada vez mejor por ti....

• On September 19, 2007 at 11:09 am, Jehan wrote:

  Erin! What a beautiful post. This Love is so very sweet, heavenly, peaceful and life-changing. I'm thrilled for you both and your experiences! You're right on, every girl should feel that lucky :) Much continued happiness

• On September 19, 2007 at 8:47 pm, Josue wrote:

  felicidades :)

• On September 26, 2007 at 6:36 pm, Erin wrote:

  Wow, sorry it's taken so long to respond! I've been VERY busy recently!

  @Josh: Thank you! And congratulations to you, too! Ain't love grand?

  @Saratica: Ooh, what a great story. Here's a question: does he still cook (granted, sandwich making isn't quite cooking!) for you today? I'm a romantic fool, but I'd have him make me that same sandwich every anniversary... it would be cute. :)

  @Pablo: It is. A fantastic feeling, one might even say!

  @Edrei: I hope that our love grows deeper and more intense everyday, though I doubt that it will stay the same over the years! But that's a great thing.

  @Bronwen: Thank you. :) Someday, hopefully you'll be able to tell your honorary nieces and nephews that "you were there when it all began". Hehe.

  @Fabi: Baby, thank you for being so sweet!

  @Jehan: Thank you! And it's been so long... we should try to talk soon!

  @Josue: Gracias. :)

• On September 27, 2007 at 8:00 am, peroty wrote:

  I am so happy for you! I have now found myself in an amazing relationship as well. For the last months I have been unable to stop talking to my amazing girlfriend. We have chats late into the night, seemingly every night. We never run out of things to say.

  Seeing her electrifies me and gives me reason to wake up every morning. She is about 3.5 hours away in her last year of school but it's all worth it. :)

  I'm so glad you see you so happy! Happy people make me happy!

  Congratulations on finding such a great guy! :D

• On October 3, 2007 at 7:01 pm, Alisa wrote:

  Awww.... That is so beautiful!

  I want that!

• On October 8, 2007 at 9:38 am, Steamy Kitchen wrote:

  What a beautiful story! I love hearing how people met and the moment they found each other.

• On October 8, 2007 at 4:18 pm, Chris Morrell wrote:

  Great stuff Erin, I'm deeply jealous. Still looking around for my special someone, figure I have plenty of time to do that though. Just grabbed your AIM SN off of Facebook, love facebook stalking, so don't be worried when you randomly hear from me =)

• On October 9, 2007 at 12:37 pm, Fabi wrote:

  Baby... I'm reading again this post.. and it's wonderfull... Thanks for saying all these sweet things about me...

  I feel really happy to have you in my life!!

  I love you!

• On October 9, 2007 at 2:15 pm,