Our friends had a 3rd birthday for their son this weekend. After the party, we all went back to their house to hang out for the night. The kids played, the adults caught up, it was a good time all around. Although a bit sentimental and sappy (which I am not ashamed to admit), I looked around and saw my friends, some of whom I have known for over 15 years with their kids, all of us spending some quality time together and I would not have wanted to be anywhere else.

There is nothing like family, but there is something different, something special about spending time with old friends who you have gone from sharing a dorm room with to sharing diapers and day care advice. There is history there and whether the history is 5 years or 15, it leaves a soft spot in my heart.

I am always thinking of lessons we can teach our children, teachable moments to share and this one is just as much for parents. Cherish the time you have with friends. Make the time to get together and keep your friendship going. There is so much that can get in the way and it is easier than ever to say that you are busy, too tired, too far to spend time together. But, those moments spent with old friends are worth the extra long drive, extra cup of coffee needed or extra push of energy you don’t think you have left. Seeing my friend’s daughter sing and my son look at her with a huge smile and pretending to fish with my other friend’s son made my night.

Continue to create memories with your children and your friends. When your children are older, you can share stories of your friendships, funny things you did, not so funny things that happened. It is important for our children to see that we, as parents, can hold meaningful friendships. If your child wants to keep up a friendship with someone who moved away or a friend from camp who lives in another state, encourage these relationships. It may involve an extra cup of coffee or a longer car ride for you, but it will be worth it for your child. Give them the same opportunity to make lasting friendships that will carry them until they are sitting in someone’s backyard after a 3rd b-day party having a perfect night.

They will thank you for it.

LitWorld is an organization I was introduced to by accident. Sitting on the floor of Barnes and Noble doing research for my upcoming Parents.com article (yay!), I came across Pam Allyn’s book Your Child’s Writing Life. I read a quarter of the book on that floor. The next day, I emailed Pam for a quote for my article. A few weeks later, Pam asked me to be a World Read Aloud Day Advocate for LitWorld (see my post Let the Reading Begin!) and just like that, a new connection was born. All it took was one chance encounter with Pam’s book.

I had the privilege of attending the LitWorld Gala last week. This event celebrated the work that they do all over the world, the children they help and the cause they fight for everyday. There was a fifteen year old girl at the event who is part of a LitWorld Girls Club. She is from the projects of Manhattan and surrounded by lack of opportunities. With all of that, she uses her LitWorld Girl’s Club as motivation to find her place in the world, to fight for her right to be able to read, to chase her dreams and never settle for less. I never thought listening to a fifteen year old girl’s speech would inspire me as much as it did. I listened to her speak and looked around and thought, how did I get here? How am I part of this organization, even in the smallest way? It all goes back to looking for a book in Barnes and Noble.

Teach your children to explore every opportunity that they are presented with in life. It can lead to something or it can lead to nothing but they will never know unless they try. Whether it be going to sleep away camp for a week and making a lifelong friend or signing up for a different activity than their friends and loving their new hobby, encourage them to do what they want. All it takes is one decision and it can change your life forever.

Life lessons are vital to instill in our children and this is one that I will not forget.  You never know what is lurking around the corner or up on a bookshelf that can change your life. It is important to keep all doors open, because the minute we close one it could shut off an opportunity that would have never otherwise been realized. I am lucky to have kept the doors open and because of that I have a new connection with people who do meaningful, inspiring work on a daily basis.

I wonder what is lurking around the next corner?

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Mike Lanza is starting a cultural movement. And I want to be part of it. Who else is game?

Playborhood – Turning Your Neighborhood Into a Place for Play is a book about turning back time to simpler days where kids roamed free and cardboard boxes were way cooler than cable boxes. It is based on the premise that our youngest generation needs to step away from the TV and computer and get outside. Not to a park with a huge jungle gym, not to a children’s museum or water park but to their front yards.  Mike Lanza is on a mission to bring back the innocence and enjoyment out of neighborhoods by turning them into playborhoods.

When I began reading, I was immediately struck by Lanza’s Playborhood Manifesto. Certain items immediately brought me back to my childhood. “I want my kids to play outside with other neighborhood kids every day” and “I want them to create their own games and rules” to name a couple. I did this so why don’t children do this anymore? What changed? The answer seems to lie more with changes in adults rather than children. Fundamentally, children stay the same but what we choose to expose them to, or not expose them to, affects how they act and how they play.

Parents are more scared than ever. I know this because I am one. But, statistics show that there is less reason to worry about sexual predators or strangers abducting children than when we were younger. Still, we are more fearful. This fear leads us to keep our children close, with less freedom than ever. Playborhood encourages parents to start relinquishing some control and let their little ones roam, just a little bit. It talks of allowing children to play out front unsupervised and creating fun ways to keep your yard as interesting as a fancy playground. Yes, it takes work and when your fellow neighbors fall in line it is easier but it has  to start somewhere. Who wouldn’t love to have their children learn to make up games, play pretend and battle it out (not literally) when conflict arises? “Because kids today spend so much time in front of screens, inhabiting virtual worlds rather than the real one, they lack strong real-world skills like face-to-face conversation or organizing a pickup ball game.” (Playborhood, pg. 4)

My fondest memories of being a child involve knocking on my friend’s door a few houses away (we are still the best of friends 30 years later)  and spending afternoons running between each other’s homes or visiting our local park around the corner to sit and chat on the swings. When we were older, regular walks to McDonalds or Carvel were highlights of our time. Never once do I remember being fearful or feeling that from my parents. Maybe they were scared or hesitant but it never showed.  I want my son to feel the same sense of freedom and know that as he gets older, my husband and I will trust him to utilize the independent qualities we instill in him constantly, even from a young age.

Playborhood documents areas around the United States that have bought into this type of living. Each one illustrates the benefits for children and adults and with no coincidence, there is little to no downside to these places. Lanza’s own Playborhood in California is equipped with picnic benches on his front lawn, a media system to project videos and photos and play music, a fountain water play and a sandbox next to his driveway. Sound interesting?

Lyman Place, in the South Bronx, is a remarkable street especially during the summer months. No traffic is allowed, kids are free to run around and they are looked after by fellow neighbors. In one of the poorest areas in the United States, there is actually a street where two year Jacob is allowed to roam alone. “Everyone knows Jacob, and looks out for him – giving him the opportunity to explore in a way that many parent’s can’t imagine for a child of his age. (Playborhood, pg. 53)

Similar playborhoods such as Share-it Square in Portland, Ore. has a book exchange where neighbors are encouraged to trade books. The Waters in Pike Road, Ala. have big porches as part of their houses and families often gather in the late afternoon to figure out which house they will all go to for dinner that night. As they state, “it’s very easy to enjoy each other’s company when it’s that low stress. The kids entertain each other and the parents all get to have parent night, too”. (Playborhood, pg. 67)

In addition to these ideal situations mentioned above, Lanza gives small ways to begin turning your neighborhood into a magical, simple and wondrous place. Spending more money on the outside of his house rather than decorating the inside is one of his family’s priorities. To his point, kids will enjoy a neighborhood mosaic on their driveway more than new rugs in their living room. I am still a sucker for West Elm and cool picture frames but small steps work too, right?! Lanza understands that it takes time, money and resources to transform your front lawn and backyard so his suggestions can make a difference a little at a time. He also gives tips on how to find a playborhood if you are in the market to move and have small children.

My husband and I do not live in a Playborhood. I feel as if we are doing a disservice to our son. Due to my paranoia, I am scared to leave his little ride-on car outside for the afternoon, let alone overnight. There is no “kid debris” as Lanza describes and barely anyone playing outside despite the number of children living in our development. We will be looking to move in the next few years and we are now taking his ideas into consideration. Along with a great school district, a playborhood will be high on our priority list.  Mike Lanza’s goal is uncomplicated and the process should be as well.  Now only if we can convince him to be our real estate agent!

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When I finally sat down and got focused enough to write something worth publishing, I realized that I didn’t need an excuse.  We over schedule ourselves, over schedule our children, rush to nowhere and have to be everywhere. It is exhausting. It is detrimental.

This is my lesson and I am passing it along to you. If we do not stop and take a breathe, we burn out. We don’t put forth our best selves, whether you are a parent or a child. It may sound cooky or corny but it is also the truth. Remember this when you get off track or you think your child(ren) are getting off track. Sometimes this is a good thing. It is a hint that you need to slow down.

Children are worse at telling us that they need a break, they need us to see it for them. I noticed this all the time when I was in the classroom. My students would get a glazed look over their faces, their look of defeat was obvious. It was my job as their teacher to notice this and do something about it. As parents, it is our job as well.

If it is possible, have a quiet night at home with your children. Turn off the TV, turn off the computers and turn on some relaxing music and quiet down. Read books, do puzzles, just be. There is nothing better than quieting our minds and those of our children. My son is active, “spirited” as it described in a book I recently read. He is “on” as soon as he wakes up. I try to play music, have some quiet time as much as I can. He needs it and he responds to it very quickly. It is good for me too.

With the summer coming, there are so many ways to take a break. The days get longer, children love to be outside as much as possible. Foster this by having a picnic outside – there is no better way to relax than over good food and great scenery. No cell phones, ipods, ipads, portable video games allowed. Just talk, share stories, eat and enjoy each others company.

There’s a novel idea – a family winding down and enjoying each others company just for the sake of enjoying each other. How about that?!

This year, the week of April 15-April 22 is a week-long tribute to the 11 million lives lost during the Holocaust. In particular, Thursday, April 19 is International Holocaust Remembrance Day. I, however, think every day should be a remembrance day. We should never forget what happened, who was affected and the people that suffered throughout this time.

May young ones imagine consuming their favorite item and having it all to themselves. For instance, if they choose to buy all the ice cream in the word, ask them to record all the flavors that would include and to record all of the ice cream stores they know of in your area. If they are of school age, figure out, based on a regular priced scoop of ice cream, how many scoops they could purchase with the jackpot winnings. Based on a pint of ice cream, how many could they purchase with the money?

Many children will name a list a mile long of things they would buy. Ask them to divide up, by importance, the items they would buy, and use dollar amounts for each item. When the money is up, they cannot spend anymore! If math and percentages are of interest, use percentages to divide up the money. Create a pie chart with your divisions, illustrating the percentage of money that would go to each item.

The concept of the actual amount of a million dollar jackpot can be is overwhelming (even for adults!). Challenge your children to figure out how many one, five, ten, twenty, fifty or one hundred dollar bills they would need to reach the jackpot amount. This will take quite a while but it is a solid on-going project that will keep them thinking. You can also encourage them to research the odds of winning a jackpot. Based on this probability, would they still buy a ticket? Why or why not?

Most importantly, turn the winnings into a completely charitable donation. Research several different charities and let your child decide which one or more than one they would  donate money towards if given the chance. Even if you did not win the mega millions money, they can still donate a small amount if they wish. Many children may take great interest in a specific charity and want to learn more about a cause. That in itself is priceless.

It feels good to dream and children should be given this right as well. If you can incorporate educational lessons into the dreaming, more power to you.  It is an attempt worth trying. And a fun one to boot.

You have to be in it to win it, right?!

After motherhood: Parenting and teaching are only the same in the respect that both involve children.

I am sure this is a familiar sentiment for other teachers who became parents. At least, it is for those who will cop to it. I am not afraid to admit. I’m having a child, no problem, I teach elementary school. I know how to teach, I know how to plan a lesson, and I know kids. Turns out, I know nothing.

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