TheMovie411

Man of Steel Trailer

2012-12-14T07:57:00.002Z

It's finally here, the Man of Steel trailer and I know you all have probably seen it a million times already, but I wanted to give my two cents on it and what this new Superman film means to me. First off, let's check out this stupendous trailer... If you've already seen it, feel free to just skip ahead, I am late to this party after all.

Wow! First, the music is haunting and epic, a hero's call to adventure. This step here is what Marvel fails to grasp with their movies. Their movies are awesome, fun and I adore them. Will watch them over and over, but this right here, this music lets us know that we are going to watch a myth unfold, something that will inspire and stir the soul. Melodramatic, maybe, but think about the Marvel trailers with their hard rock scores, their driving beats. It says roller coaster thrill ride, screaming through the skies at Mach 3. It does not say legend in the way this does. I was immediately put into the mind of Gladiator, not Angus Young and martial arts films.

Then we have Henry Cavill, our new incarnation of Clark Kent, the latest to don the mantle of the icon that is Superman. From what I see here, he takes up the torch left by the Superman of my heart, Christopher Reeve, and goes forward, seeming to make the role his own. The expression in his eyes, his movements, he is far removed and above the nice, but ultimately flat performance of Brandon Routh.

Finally, there is no comic relief here, no cartoonish Kevin Spacey Lex Luthor. With Michael Shannon as General Zod in this clip along with the military, the arrest, that brief holding of hands with Lois, the incredible Amy Adams, this is going to be a mythic journey that will see Superman break then come back stronger. I also love the scenes from his childhood, how Mr. Kent, Kevin Costner, tells Clark that he maybe should have let those kids die. This is a father in a raw moment wanting to protect his child no matter what.

I was so moved by this trailer and it brought me right back to that stirring of the heart that I got when I first saw Christopher Reeve oh so long ago. I can't wait for this movie. What did you all think?

RIP Michael Clarke Duncan

2012-09-04T21:54:00.000+01:00

I was shocked and saddened to learn that awesome actor, Michael Clarke Duncan, passed away Monday morning, September 3, at the age of 54. He'd been hospitalized since July 13 with a heart ailment. With over 90 film, television and voice credits to his name, the former bodyguard turned actor was perhaps best known for his roles in The Green Mile, The Scorpion King, Daredevil, Sin City, Planet of the Apes and Armageddon.

Duncan was born and raised on the South Side of Chicago, a stone's throw from yours truly. He wanted to play football, but his mother wouldn't hear of it, fearing he'd get hurt, so he turned to acting. Michael went on to attend Alcorn State University, but had to drop out when his mother became ill. He came back to Chicago where he dug ditches for People's Gas and also did bouncer work for the local club scene. The producer of the play, The Barbershop 2 hired him to be his personal security and Michael went into the bodyguard business.

He moved out to California to pursue acting and continued to bodyguard work, Michael served as personal security for the likes of Will Smith, LL Cool J, The Notorious B.I.G aka Biggie Smalls. and Jamie Foxx. While working for Biggie, he let a friend take over for the night, the same night that Biggie was shot and killed. The incident prompted Michael to leave the business.

His breakthrough came in the 1998 film Armageddon as the wildcatter Bear. From there he went on to play the pivotal role of John Coffey in The Green Mile. The performance earned him an Oscar nomination that year. It also won him the Saturn and Critics Choice awards for Best Supporting Actor. His career took off from there. He appeared in television shows that ran the gamut from drama to sitcom as well as a few children's shows like The Suite Life of Zack and Cody. At the time of his death, he starred in the Fox series The Finder as bar owner Leo Knox.

Some cool trivia about Michael Clarke Duncan:

He slid into third base at Comiskey Park during the infamous 1979 Disco Demolition Night

He narrated the 2005 World Series movie about the champion Chicago White Sox

He tried out for the Chicago Bears in the mid-80's as a tightend

He held a black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu

Fast And Furious 6 News

2012-07-30T20:58:00.000+01:00

I loved last year's Fast Five, it was a full throttle epic with hot cars and hot men, but I am on fire for Fast and Furious 6. We are getting some scintillating new cast members and an even bigger story. Joining Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson are former original cast mate and Machete Kills star Michelle Rodriguez reprising her role of Dom's girl, Letty. Seems the rumors of her demise were greatly exaggerated according to the after credits of Fast Five. Check it.

If that isn't enough amp your interest, Gina Carano, former MMA fighter and star of the killer flick Haywire joins the fray as well as British hottie Clara Paget, star of St. Trinian's II and Johnny English Reborn. They are both set to play some badass bitches. Also joining this killer cast is gorgeous The Raven star Luke Evans and Indonesian martial arts master and actor, Joe Taslim of The Raid. Rounding out this film is Tyrese Gibson who returns as Roman Pearce.

Fast and Furious 6 is directed by Justin Lin and due to hit theaters on May 24 of 2013.

The First Catwoman: Julie Newmar

2012-07-28T05:32:00.001+01:00

In light of the smash hit The Dark Knight Rises and Anne Hathaway as the newest incarnation of the villainous Catwoman, I thought you all might a like stroll down memory lane with the elegant Julie Newmar, who first portrayed Catwoman on the old Batman television series from 1966-68. Here she is with Michael Yo, giving us some insights into working with Adam West and what she thinks of the new Nolan films.

I adored Julie as well as the equally marvelous Eartha Kitt. They both embodied the slinky, sexy gracefulness of Catwoman as she was originally imagined.

The Dark Knight Rises: Epic Conclusion To The Superhero Trilogy

2012-07-25T20:45:00.001+01:00

The Dark Knight Rises opens eight years after the events of The Dark Knight, in spectacular fashion with a jaw-dropping jailbreak at 30,000 feet. Super villain Bane crashes a plane and kills CIA agents along with one of his own, all to obtain the services of one Russian scientist, who had eluded him.Meanwhile, back at the ranch, er Gotham, they are celebrating Harvey Dent Day (WTF?). It would appear that the Powers The Be in Gotham have created themselves a gigantic bull shit sandwich and are gnoshing with relish at the seemingly perfect world they have fashioned out of lies and corruption. Underhanded dealings are all good when you put the "bad" guys away. In this New World Order, Batman is still Gotham's Most Wanted and everything else, including the League of Shadows, is second banana. Bruce has hung up his suit, mothballed the Bat Mobile and sealed the Bat Cave. He resides at Wayne Manor, a broken, grieving man who is just counting the ticks of the clock until he can either end his misery or find another outlet.

His big depressive brood comes to a halt when Selina Kyle shakes his ass up by stealing his fingerprints and helping herself to his mother's pearls. More scales are ripped away by police officer John Blake, who proceeds to tell him that the orphanage supported by Wayne Industries is no longer receiving aid. Suddenly there just might be some purpose to his existence again. While Bruce finally ditches his pity party, Commissioner Gordon is injured in a seeming random crime gone wrong whereby he discovers a strange underground army forming. Evil is afoot in Gotham and there's going to be hell to pay times ten. It's Batman time.

Oh Dark Knight Rises, how do I love thee? I was strapped in and ready for action from the opening seconds and was impressed to nth degree. Nolan's gritty, relentlessly dark story is perfect for this conclusion. Bruce is the Dark Knight, he's not Spider-man. You want hopeful, fun, go watch Spidey and Lizard man one more time. This is pure doom, gloom and then some. As it should be. There were some slow, lighter scenes, Nolan teasing us for sure, but they were all drama heavy and necessary to the plot. Speaking of... All the twists and threads were mind-blowing and a bit hard to keep track of at times, but ultimately it was okay as everything made sense by the end. I thought Nolan used all the characters effectively, doling out their secrets in small doses for just the right impact There a couple of times I was left looking like a slack-jawed yokel.

The f/x were dazzling. Not as many as in The Dark Knight, but not necessary for this film. They were just plain cool and hard core, especially the plane escape at the start and the collapse of the football field as poor Hines Ward is returning the kickoff. Wally Pfister's cinematography is fantastic, allowing the architecture and vibe of Pittsburgh to shine through just like Chicago in the first two.

Image from Ron Phillips

As far as acting. we of course, got the goods from Christian, Morgan, Michael and Gary. They delivered their usual outstanding performances, though I found myself wanting a little more screen time with Lucius. However, Anne Hathaway blew me out of the water as Selina Kyle aka Cat Woman. Holy smokes did she deliver for the ladies and completely erase that rubber-suited slut bag performance by Halle Berry. She was smart, tough, and fast on her feet...In a word, badass. I'm sorry I ever doubted her because she needs her own movie right now. And there was my lovely Joseph Gordon-Levitt as the honest, eager cop John Blake. What a raw, earnest performance. He was a real hero, right up there with Batman. Tom Hardy gave a Herculean effort as Bane, he was scary, enigmatic and brilliant. Did not match the psychosis of Heath Ledger as The Joker, but he was terrifying. And for the critics who kept complaining that Bane and Batman were indecipherable, what movie were you watching? I understood every syllable they uttered. When a movie is this good, though, they need to nit pick.

Nolan totally pulled out all the stops on The Dark Knight Rises. It is an impressive, high-octane, grim action flick that delivers in every way. Is it better than The Dark Knight? No. The story this time was less about Batman and more about drawing closure. In that regard it's like the other third films in the great trilogies out there where the second film is always the best. Empire Strikes Back is better than Return of the Jedi and The Two Towers is better than Return of the King...You get the picture. This is a stellar conclusion to an epic trilogy, though, and I can't wait to see it again. And again.

SPOILER ALERT!!! IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW MY THEORY ABOUT THE END, DO NOT READ, EXIT THIS TRAIN...

The end has many people agog, believing that what Alfred sees at the end is truth because well, the whole autopilot thing. And you know that Nolan loves to mess with our minds and keep us guessing. However, I don't think so. It is an illusion, a dream of Alfred's like the others . Bruce is dead. D-E-A-D. And not metaphorically, either. Why? Well, he's been basically on suicide watch since his parents were killed, but most especially since Rachel. Wayne has never been a happy man, it's not in his DNA. The only thing that gave him purpose was vengeance and that has been eating away at him. He's tired.

Furthermore, Bruce/Batman was stabbed mortally by Miranda aka Talia al Ghul. I thought the Batsuit was supposed to stop knives, but we all saw it go in and her twist it. So yeah, he's bleeding out. He got up, though, and pulled it together adrenaline style one last time for Gotham, like Maximus did for Rome in Gladiator. .Miranda's "keep him alive" was akin to Commodus' "bind him, so no one sees the wound."Anything else would be poor contrivance on the part of the writers and lessons the overall impact. The entire trilogy was geared towards the death of Batman. The Dark Knight had to die for a new one to rise to take his place. Bruce Wayne and his Batman are ash city with no happily ever after. Go ahead and call me brutal, say I'm wrong, but that's what I choose to believe. Some characters, like some people just don't get that happily ever after. They were born to pain and darkness. Period. End of story. It's the way the world works. Then again, there's always reincarnation...

Hell To Yeah! Man of Steel Teaser Trailer

2012-07-21T21:19:00.001+01:00

Here it is my peeps, the official teaser trailer for next summer's most anticipated film, Man of Steel. I so cannot wait for this one.

Looks fantastic, but it also looks like Superman is having some issues about who he is. What do you think? I love the music, the voice over and that glimpse of the blazing jet Superman leaving contrails in the sky. It should be epic.

The Amazing Spider-Man

2012-07-11T06:41:00.001+01:00

I'll be the first to admit that I was prepared to thoroughly hate this film for several reasons. ONE: It's only been handful of years since Raimi's last Spider Man film. TWO: I got the impression that Marvel was trying to win over the Twilight crowd by hiring R-Patts twin, Andrew Garfield. And THREE: Hollywood and Marvel wanted to take Peter right back to high school and start over with his origin story AGAIN. Never mind that Peter has been an adult in his comics and cartoons for like three decades. Anyway...

So it was with a sense of deep-seated skepticism that I entered the theater on Sunday to see The Amazing Spider-Man. Well, I was pleasantly surprised. Garfield pulled off the loveable dork that is Peter Parker very well. He imbued his Parker with a sense of awkwardness and vulnerability, yet captured that inner steel core that makes Peter rise to heroic heights once he gets his spidey powers. He has fun with his new-found powers, has those moments of WTFery as he discovers he can climb walls and oh yeah, that his hands now stick to things. Like ladies blouses. A side note: poor Tia Texada, gone from badass TV cop to subway eye candy.

Director Marc Webb certainly amped up Spidey's story, showing us a bit more about Peter's parents and utilizing some wonderful f/x that had my jaw agape a few times. He also fleshed out Uncle Ben and Aunt May a bit more with the incredible Sally Field and Martin Sheen in the respective roles. And I love, LOVE the fact that he dumped that eternal screaming damsel in distress, Mary Jane Watson, in favor of the smart, thinks-on-her-feet, Gwen Stacy, played by the awesome Emma Stone. For the first time I was not seized with the impulse to backhand Peter's love interest into next week. Props, Mr. Webb for giving Peter an actual partner and not some pretty toy who is basically good for nothing.

Rhys Ifans gave a great performance as Dr. Connors, the brilliant scientist turned super villain, who once worked with Peter's father. He showed us Connors' torment over the loss of his arm and his desire to help others while also giving us the arrogance that gets magnified when he injects himself with the serum. I also enjoyed Dennis Leary as Captain Stacy, a realistic hard ass unlike the comedic J. Jonah Jamison.

Okay, now we come to the not so good, the writing. What do you call having Peter's father be the scientist who develops the spider that bites Peter? Contrivance. In all capital letters. I mean, really? That's just lazy writing. You can play with the source material to a certain degree, but this is messing with the very heart of the story. And what happened to the Big Secrets of Richard Parker's past, the plot point that drove the trailer fever? A lot was left out or quickly glossed over until the Easter egg after the first credits. The writers were apparently already anticipating sequels. I hate when they save everything for sequels. Use your imagination more. And I'm also disappointed that they left out the immortal Spider-Man line "With great power comes great responsibility." How can you leave out THE line every one knows and loves from the comics?

The Amazing Spider-Man is a good summer action flick that I enjoyed and will see again. Not in the movies though. I'm saving for multiple trips to see The Dark Knight Rises.

RIP Nora Ephron

2012-06-27T05:58:00.000+01:00

I normally don't talk about the passing of celebrities here, but Nora Ephron was definitely one of the most groundbreaking women in Hollywood. Writer, director, producer, actress, essayist, journalist... she did it all. She made a name for herself in the Boys Club of Hollywood and cut a wider trail for those women who came after.

Nora wrote fifteen screenplays, including Heartburn (based on her novel), Silkwood, When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, Michael, You've Got Mail and most recently, Julie & Julia. She also co-authored the Drama Desk Award winning play, Love, Loss and What I Wore.

She directed eight films, writing the screenplays for seven of them. When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless In Seattle and Silkwood were all nominated for Best Original Screenplay. In addition to her work in film, Nora was also an accomplished author. She wrote five essay collections, including the NY Times bestsellers I Feel Bad About My Neck And Other Reflections On Being A Woman and A Wallflower At the Orgy.

Nora is an iconic creative spirit who redefined the genre of romantic comedy. She inspired countless women, including yours truly with her work.

She is survived by her husband, author and screenwriter Nicholas Pileggi of Goodfellas renown.

It's Here!! The First Trailer For Django Unchained

2012-06-23T12:33:00.003+01:00

OMG, my friends! I hate using that expression, makes me sound like a giddy tweener, but hey, this is the trailer for Tarantino's new flick, Django Unchained, and I am fourteen year old Justin Bieber fan excited. So no more talking, let's get to watching.

How epic was that? I love the look. Leo rocks it as Calvin Candie and well Christoph and Jamie, there are no words for how incredibly badass they are. I know I am going to be first in line this Christmas. So, honestly, what do you all think? Pedal to the metal in a muscle car awesome? Who cares? Or I'd rather have my eyes removed than watch another Tarantino flick? Talk to me.

Battleship: Light It Up, Baby!

2012-06-19T06:24:00.000+01:00

When I first heard Hasbro was doing a live action film based on the board game from my childhood, I was like, WTF? Seriously, how you gonna bring plastic ships and pegs to life and more importantly, why? I could not even conceive of anything unless it was some World War II tale because hey, battleships have long since been retired from the high seas.Was I in for a rush...

There is nothing I love more than a hard rockin, full-throttle, guns blazin' good time movie and Battleship served it up in spades. It had all the requisite components for an epic thrill ride. You got your screwed up protag who has to rise to the occasion like good heroes are supposed to do, you got your world threat, your hot eye candy, your spectacular f/x, your AC/DC tunes and, AND you got your true life heroes coming aboard for the ride to make this look extra cool.

If you have not turned off your brains by fifteen minutes in, I strongly suggest you do so. There's not much to ruminate on, Battleship is built for action, not thinking. It takes a cast of typical action fare characters, throws in a few unexpected people, adds in a dash of subplot, then lets it rain fire and destruction. It's not particularly inventive, but it's high octane fun. The f/x are hardcore, mind-blowing sequences that will leave you going "hell yeah."

My fave part, though, is how they actually brought the battleship to Battleship. The USS Missouri hasn't looked this awesome in decades. I once stood on the deck of the Mighty Mo before she became a museum. And what a ship she is. I was living in Seattle while she was moored at the Bremerton shipyards along with another Iowa class battleship, the USS Iowa. I can tell you that there are few experiences that compare with walking the deck of a warship. My memories made this movie just a little bit more kick ass.

So if you are looking for nothing but a good time, check your brains at the door, indulge in a huge popcorn and have yourself a hellagood time with Battleship.

Django Unchained: A First Look

2012-05-30T06:05:00.001+01:00

Calling Tarantino fans, calling all Tarantino fans... Check out the brilliant production stills from his newest film Django Unchained, which is due to drop Christmas Day here in the States. Starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Jamie Foxx, Christoph Waltz, Samuel L. Jackson, Don Johnson, Kerry Washington and Zoe Bell, Django is Q's loving tribute to the Sergio Leone/Clint Eastwood genre of the Spaghetti Western.

The film tells the story of Django, an ex-slave turned bounty-hunter determined to rescue his wife from a brutal plantation owner. Can we say, oh hell to the yeah? I have been dying to see this since I first heard the concept. I mean Q and Spaghetti Western... that is a recipe for total awesome sauce in my opinion.

Lookie, lookie...

I have to say color me intrigued and impressed. How about you all? Are you as giddy as a school girl for Justin Bieber for this like me? Meh? Or Puhleeze, Mel, another Tarantino film? Don't make me vomit. Talk to me.

21 Jump Street: "Own Your Stereotypes, MFers."

2012-03-24T23:37:00.000Z

I will be the first to stand up and admit that there was no way in the H-E double hockey sticks that I wanted 21 Jump Street the movie to be made. The original show was MINE. It was where my 26 year love affair with Johnny Depp was cemented. Then I saw the trailer and was like WTFH? A comedy? Oh so oh no, what blasphemy! However, some good tweeps and blog buddies, whose opinions I have grown to value, gave it great reviews. Then my sidekick aka The Nephew, wanted to see it. One arm twist and some big brown eyes later, off I went.

OMG did I laugh. I was actually wheezing in some scenes and that is rare. Maybe this caught me on a good day, I don't know. Whatever the case, this keystone cop flick served up the laughs covered in raunchy deliciousness. And oh, how I love me a dirty comedy.

Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill are brilliant as Jenko and Schmidt, two polar opposite high school classmates who grow up to attend the police academy together. They help each other through and become best friends in the process. You knew they were going to be buddies, it's the way of this particular trope. Upon graduation, they are ready for some suspect ass-kicking, gun fights and car chases. Not so fast, my little rookies. They get assigned to Park Patrol and spend an inordinate amount of time riding around on these awful bikes that have lights and sirens (I shit you not), ticketing litterers, loiterers and dog owners who don't clean up after their four-legged companions. In between these tough cases, they slack off and play games.

Until one day the pair actually manage to spot a real drug deal. After a brilliant Police Academy-esque chase scene, they make an arrest. However, they are so inept at it, the suspect goes free and they get shipped to Jump Street, a "recycled" program from the 80's. I love that like the original show, the Jump Street program is located in an old church. Ice Cube dons the captain's bars and his comic performance is just raving brilliant as he does his twist on Captain Fuller from the old series. "You are here because you are some Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus looking muthas." And my other fave, "Own your stereotypes, mutha fuckas."

Between trying to infiltrate a teenage drug ring, fit in with their classmates and pass their classes, Jenko and Schmidt are up to their asses in alligators. Of course, Tatum and Hill look about as much like real teenagers as the cast of Gossip Girl. Michael Bacall's script skillfully makes use of this with some pretty hilarious comments on early puberty and Tatum's size.

The film loses some of its comedy steam when it takes itself too seriously with some added dramatic moments, but then it picks right back up before you can say WTH? One of the best moments in this movie are the cameos of Johnny Depp, Holly Robinson and Peter Deluise as their characters from the original show. I nearly wept with joy.

For a killer time and a lot of dirty good fun, see 21 Jump Street. I can't believe I'm saying it as a hardcore fan of the show, but there you go. It was epic fun.

Now, before I leave you, just for shits and giggles, here are some interesting factoids about the old series:

*Brad Pitt, Vince Vaughn, Josh Brolin, Bridget Fonda and Jada Pinkett Smith were all guest stars.

*The cast often gave PSA's after the episodes aired

*Holly Robinson sang the theme song while Johnny Depp and Peter Deluise sang background. That's the two of them singing "Jump! Down on Jump Street."

*The show was based on a real unit in the LAPD.

Oh and look at how pretty they were and so 80's. FYI, my hair was just as big as Holly's. In fact, I had my own hole in the ozone with a giant can of Aquanet Hairspray that I carried everywhere. Lord, was I ever a fire hazard.

John Carter

2012-03-16T01:23:00.003Z

Edgar Rice Burroughs' Barsoom tales roared onto the screens this past weekend with John Carter and it was A plus amazing. This was a special f/x extravaganza that just blew my mind with an epic tale of Good vs. Evil that held me enthralled for two hours.

The film opens in the muted gray and shadowy world of 1881 New York with John Carter bustling about the city being followed by a rather strange man. Cut to an eager Edgar "Ned" Rice Burroughs stepping off of a train, expecting to met by his uncle. Only he's told Carter has died. Whaaa? When he arrives at the Carter mansion, the lawyer gives him the skinny on the mysterious details surrounding his relative's death. Ned then receives Carter's journal and starts to read. Lickety split, we transport back through the Sands of Time to the beginning of John's fantastical journey.

Carter is a broken man, a haunted Civil War vet who was forced to bury his wife and only child. Taylor Kitsch really raises his acting level here. He is far beyond paying his dues as one of the Cardboard Posse from that abysmal Friday Night Lights show. He plays Carter with a depth of emotion that one would expect from a more experienced actor.

John leaves his old life behind and hies off to Arizona after he becomes obsessed with a cave of gold. He devolves into a bit of a lunatic, as inhospitable and mean as they come, only wanting to be left the hell alone to find that freaking cave. Everyone in town basically hates him and wants him gone. Except the U.S. Army, in a strange plot point that is never fully explained. They've got plans for our fair Virginia man.

Enter Bryan Cranston as the dubious colonel, obsessed with having Carter under his command. This bastard will stop at nothing to have him wear the blue. Who knows if it's because of Carter's amazing fighting skills or the thought of having a prominent Confederate under his thumb that drives this guy. Like I said, no good explanation is offered. Unless I missed it while digging for my illegal sugar free Gummi Bears inside my massive bag. Anyway, all hell breaks loose when Carter escapes and the Army is hot on his heels. He leads them a merry chase straight into the Apache. Whoops! When the shooting starts, Carter falls back on his Southern Gent ways and rescues the colonel. He and the wounded Cranston wind up taking shelter in the very cave John has been searching for. Once inside, he fights off a strange blue man, kills him, then wakes up outside. Only this outside is not Arizona.

Oh so oh no, Toto.

It's interesting to watch Carter adjust to terrain he doesn't recognize and figure out how to walk since, oh hey, his body isn't working quite like it should. Taylor pulls the audience in with his reactions, a combination of dazed shockiness, WTF and how do I get out of here? He plays it spot on for a soldier/hunter who finds himself lost and quite possibly behind enemy lines. Soon his presence is discovered by the local populace of four-armed Martians. Willem Dafoe is Tars Tarkas, Jeddak of the Tharks and Thomas Haden Church is Tal Hajus, a vicious warrior intent on Tarkas' throne. Tarkas and Carter have a great relationship, their banter some of the highlights of the film.

The power struggle in Tharkdom gets shoved to the back burner for a bit when a massive air battle between rival cities Helium and Zodanga breaks out in the skies over the Thark land. John unwittingly helps rescue the princess, Dejah Thoris, played to kick-ass perfection by Lynn Collins. Dejah is no ordinary rich bitch princess. Hell to the no, she is a badass warrior scientist determined to save her people from subjugation. When she tells Carter of the massive conflict going between all the races of Barsoom, he wants no part of it. His priority is to get back home to his cave of gold. He has been scarred by civil war and has no intention of taking up sides again. But Dejah will not be swayed. She has seen his skill set and knows he could help her save her people and all of Barsoom. Time for Trickery 101.

All good plans go awry, leaving John and Dejah in over their heads. The civil war is more than Barsoomian against Barsoomian, it's total manipulation by some very nasty behind-the-scenes politics and shannanigans courtesy of the Holy Therns, a race of supposedly immortal beings who love to drive others to war and destruction. Who better than Mark Strong to play their leader, Matai Shang, I ask you? Mark combines with another popular villain du jour, Dominic West, for a very sly dynamic duo of evil. Ciaran Hinds and James Purefoy are the leader and the captain of Helium, the last holdout against Zodangan domination. It's nice to see Hinds in yet another role where he is not the evil bastard.

So strap in for a hellagood ride. Ignore the critics who wouldn't know good sci fi unless a laser beam torched their asses from the screen. I loved John Carter. A word of advice, though. Try and see the non-3D version as that aspect of the f/x fell flat and was really unnecessary. And certainly not worth four extra bucks. Of course my fave part, aside from the story, is Taylor Kitsch in a skimpy costume. Low brow, sure, but there you go. Zip it, Peanut Gallery. You all get scantily clad chicks like 99.9 percent of the time. And besides, you do get Lynn Collins to look at. ;)

The Woman In Black

2012-02-23T07:04:00.002Z

I had been dying to see this film as I love horror and most especially a great ghost story. I grew up fearing Bloody Mary in my bathroom mirror and am still trying to work up the nerve to enter Bachelor Grove Cemetery. Anyway, I got to see this on Monday and surprise! I was all alone in the darkened theater. Booyah! Cue the scary music.

I settled in with my hot pretzel and prepared to be scared and creeped out. I was not disappointed. We open with three innocent little girls having a tea party, smiling and laughing. All of a sudden they stop, their faces go blank, as they stare at someone or something that has come into their room. Then they get to their feet in a synchronous movement, walk to the large three-paned windows and jump to their deaths.

Enter Arthur Kipps, a grieving young solicitor, struggling to hold onto his career and his sanity. He has visions of his dead wife beckoning him. Daniel Radcliffe has definitely shed Harry Potter. He broke my heart with those lost, shattered eyes. Poor Arthur is hanging on by a thread, his son.

After a final warning about his job, Arthur sets off to the village of Crythin Gifford to see to the estate of Alice Drablow. Once he arrives, he finds the villagers strangely rude and eager to see him turn around and hightail it back to London. The innkeepers refuse him a room, until the wife feels guilty enough because of the downpour to rent him the attic room. The same room from where the little girls committed suicide.

The following day, Arthur tries to talk with the local solicitor, Mr. Jerome. Jerome brushes him off, hands him a packet of Alice's papers, then hustles Arthur out. He even has a carriage waiting to take the young widower to the train. Miffed, Arthur pays the carriage driver, who looks like he could be Dracula's Renfield, to take him to Drablow's Eel Marsh House. This mausoleum of a place sits on an island in the marshes and becomes cut off during high tide. The joint is creepy as hell. We're talking the type of house that requires its own list of horror film survival rules. In other words, do not enter unless you've got Scooby Doo, Shaggy, Fred, Velma and Daphne as your back up.

Dracula's driver dumps Arthur at the gate and gets out of there so fast his wagon wheels squeeled. Our intrepid hero enters the house and sets about doing his job. All sorts of noises and mysterious footsteps lead him to explore upstairs. Second rule of haunted house survival: Do Not Go Upstairs. I mean the First is obviously Do Not Enter, but if you're gonna go anyway... I digress.

He goes and of course he sees the woman. Just before he freaks, though, Renfield returns and takes him back to the village. He reports the sighting of the woman to the local constable. While there, two young boys appear with their sickly sister. She has inexplicably taken a few gulps of lye and dies in Arthur's arms. Now the villagers are up in arms. They know when the Woman is sighted, the children will start to die.

Arthur is rattled by this point, but he knows that he has to finish the job or he'll never be able to take care of his son. Instead of leaving, like any sensible person, he takes refuge with his new friend from the train ride up, Sam Daily, played by the incomparable Ciaran Hinds. Sam knows the villagers are a superstitious lot and though he tries not to buy into their panic, it's difficult. Turns out Sam and his wife lost their son when the Woman made an appearance. Here's where they reveal that they are just as weird as the villagers because Mrs. Daily claims to communicate with her dead son through possessive trances. Just the happy couple I want to spend the night with.

By now Arthur is beside himself, determined to learn the secret of Eel Marsh and find out what the eff is going on. He heads back to spend the night and goes through every last scrap, discovering that Alice had a sister Jennet, whose son Nathaniel was taken from her because she was declared insane. Alice raised the boy as her own until he died in an accident, his body lost in the marsh. After his discovery, Arthur has some wicked encounters with the Woman. He even sees Nathaniel's ghost rise out of the marsh as well as the spirits of the other dead children. There is nothing quite like ghostly kids to send the shivers down the spine, especially when they're done right.

Arthur figures out what needs to be done to make the Woman stop her murderous rampage, and enlists the aid of Sam, who himself, is tired of all the death. Battling the elements and the vengeful ghost, Arthur and Sam make their stand. I was white-knuckling my seat at this point, ready to cry for Mommy. I haven't jumped and yelped like a little girl in a horror film in years. James Watkins was just that good. He relied on tension, shadow and a few good scares to amp up the terror.

Special mention must be made of the creeptastically freaky little toys. Good Golly Miss Molly, these are Satan's playthings, I swear. I can feel the hair on my neck standing on end just thinking about them. I never ever want to look at a toy monkey, clown or doll again. The shudders are wracking my body as I write this.

Woman In Black is a hugely entertaining, good old-fashioned gothic haunted house tale that will keep you up. The story is sinister and disturbing, playing on the ingrained fears of the audience and our imagination to provide the chills. And boy did it work.

Journey 2: The Mysterious Island

2012-02-20T01:37:00.000Z

My love for Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson knows no bounds and I went to see Journey 2: The Mysterious Island because he is one of the stars. Okay, well that and my nephew begged me to take him and his friend and I can't resist their cuteness. That is how I found myself at the theater last Saturday surrounded by kids and wearing, brace yourselves, 3D glasses. Now, I've written about my loathing of 3D many a time and fully intended to see the non-queasy version, but they only had one showing and that had been sold out. So, there I was wearing those damned glasses and 26 bucks lighter in the wallet for the two tickets.

Journey 2 is a rif slash sequel to 2008's Journey to the Center of the Earth with Brendan Fraser. Using the fiction of Jules Verne, Jonathan Swift and Robert Louis Stevenson as a takeoff for the adventure, the film centers on Sean, Fraser's nephew from the first movie. We pick up with the kid's life years after his amazing adventure with Uncle B and plot hole the first: What happened to the dough accumulated from the big ass diamonds from the original film? We never get that explanation. All we see is him being a miserable little so and so with 'tude to spare. Enter Hank, the Stepfather aka The Rock. He's a pretty cool guy and their relationship feels authentic with Hank trying too hard to be nice and Sean being extra-resistant. There is some great chemistry between them.

In order to try and bond with Sean, Hank helps him decipher a bizarre message sent from some mysterious coordinates. The message is supposedly from Sean's grandfather, who disappeared while looking for Jules Verne's fabled island. There's always some "mysterious" coordinates/map/message/emergency beacon/email from Nigeria to get the ball rolling. If it ain't broke, I guess. Anyway, without protest from Mom or any other logical arguments, Sean promptly takes time off of school to head to Palau. And if you're wondering how the eff he can do that no questions asked, why he's an A student. Gee, I was an A student and my father would have laughed, then kicked my ass if I decided to check out of school mid-year for a big damned vacation.

I digress.

Once on Palau, we get a few moments of Sean being a know-it-all before his comeuppance, then the inevitable meet cute with Gabato, a broke, but loveable helicopter tour guide and his teen daughter, Kailani. They agree to take our heroes to the island-that-doesn't-exist. Luis Guzman plays Gabato with his usual comedic flair. I love, love Luis and enjoy him every time I see him. No exception here, his character had me laughing and his chemistry with Vanessa Hudgens was evident.

The 3D doesn't really get going until they fly through this strange Category 5 hurricane and arrive on the island. How there is a Cat 5 storm that blows up in the middle of the Pacific with no weather agency reporting it is all part of the "mystery." It's not even good f/x, mostly a bunch of spinning stuff breaking away to fly at us. I expected better. Anyway, so now they're on the island, let's explore, yay!

It is of course, decorated in standard tropical, a very lush, gorgeous place, filled with strange animals like teeny elephants and giant lizards. There's apparently some sort of size bender that makes all the small animals large, the big ones tiny and so forth. Scientific theory from Gulliver's Travels. Although, why fireflies are still the same size and medium animals like eels become ginormous is not fully absorbed into this theory. Nor did we get to meet any Lilliputians, damn it. We do get to see a Swiss Family Robinson style tree house that Gramps had built from his sailboat. He even built a radio from an alarm clock and copper that he mined himself. Methinks Gramps had prior island experience with a certain Gilligan, Ginger and Maryann. Michael Caine does do a pretty good job as the old codger, though.

After spending the night in the Minnow, er tree house, they set off to find a way off the island. It apparently lies with Captain Nemo's submarine. Plothole number 2. Grandpa has been on this island for like 3 years and it's a mere 10 square miles. How has he missed this submarine? Anyway,they forage ahead and enter Atlantis, yes, that Atlantis. Riddle me this, how does an island that appears for a few years every 140 years or so, then explodes and sinks to the bottom of the sea again, keep a small city of buildings standing?

They pick up the necessary submarine clues in A Town then trudge through some more shock and awe 3D island flora. In a pretty cool series of f/x, our group hurtles through the air on honeybees the size of Smart Cars while being chased by a bird that is more pterodactyl than avian.

After putting the smackdown on the bird, our group gets separated as the island starts to sink. Hank and Sean make it to the Nautilus and fire things up while Gramps and Kailani go after the now lost Gabato. In furious spectacle of 3D, colors and dizzying camera angles, it is the proverbial race to escape before the island completely blows itself to Kingdom Come.

It's not a bad movie in spite of my sarcasm and my frustrating search for logic in a film that is clearly only intended to be mind candy. I enjoyed the ride, overall and even the normally nausea-inducing 3D was not too overpowering. My nephew and his friend, enjoyed the hell out of it and I, of course, loved the pec popping of Dwayne Johnson. (I'm so naughty, LOL)There's something for everyone, so go on, turn off your brain and have some fun.

Haywire: Boo-Yah Fellas!

2012-02-07T19:13:00.000Z

At last, at last!! Hollywood has brought the world a true ass-kicking female action hero. Sure, it's happened in the sci fi realm, but not in the testosterone-fueled world of the action thriller. There have been forays before, but none with the high calibre talent of a Steven Soderbergh behind it. I do believe I have died and gone to feminist cinema heaven.

Gina Carano, real life MMA star, plays Mallory Kane, a gritty, balls-to-the-wall former Marine who now works for a private black ops firm. Before I get into the movie, let me just give props because Gina actually looks the part. This is no uber-thin sex kitten who would be KO'd in one punch. Nor is she wearing a barely there outfit and high heeled fuck-me boots, while she flips two hundred pound guys. She is a muscular babe with proper hiking boots, comfortable clothes and an alertness of body that only comes from being an athlete. There are no magical harnesses and gymnastics for this girl, either. She is hardcore, disciplined fighter all the way and that is what makes her believable as Mallory.

The film opens essentially in the middle, an upstate New York diner in the dead of winter. Mal cases the joint. She (and we) know they're coming for her, but she's not going to roll belly up like some beta bitch. No way. She enters, chooses her space, then calmly orders tea. The tension ramps up instantly.

Channing Tatum arrives as fellow operative, Aaron. He exudes a deceptive, laconic charm, but he's all steel. He's been sent to retrieve Mallory and he has no qualms about going through her to do it. My girl takes him out with a bit of surprise help from a local boy, Scott. It was so refrshing to see a young guy in the typical female aid role. Michael Angarano is equal parts good kid, scared vic and smart ass as Scott.

Through flashbacks we find out that Mallory had been on an extraction op in Barcelona. Upon her return, her boss and ex, Kenneth, played with double-crossing deliciousness by Ewan McGregor, handed her a simple two-day job in Dublin. She was to hook up wth Paul, an MI 6 operative, for a meet and greet with his criminal contact, Studor. Michael Fassbender stars as the icy, enigmatic British agent with a lethal core.

Something is not right from the start. Mal knows that Pauly is playing her, but she doesn't know why until she uncovers the body of her Barcelona assignment with a nice little piece of evidence framing her. It is soon on like the fireworks at Navy Pier. The hotel fight scene between Gina and Fassbender is quick, brutal and terrifyingly intense. There are no orchestrated roundhouse kicks and karate chops. Hell to the no. This is a smashed glass, flat screen TV demolishing, knock-down, tooth and claw fight. Which ends with Gina crushing Fassbender's throat between her thighs. Normally I object to this move. However, this was a far cry from the sexy Scarlett Johansson Thigh Master takedown from Iron Man 2. Michael's face is purple, his tongue sticks out and he thrashes around like a harpooned swordfish on a boatdeck.

As the shit hits, Mallory is chased through the streets of Dublin in a cool, vintage spy flick style pursuit, alternating with catchy music and silence. Note, Mallory never moved without thinking first throughout this chase. There were no dramatic thirty-foot drops into crouches, nor are there tucks and rolls ala Jackie Chan or Daniel Craig. She looked and thought before she jumped to the next lower roof, then climbed down the fire escape. Mallory was wise to exits and potential weapons. She studied, she tracked. There were no stupid or unnecessary moves.

The rest of the cast is just as outstanding. In another series of interspersed scenes, we meet the orchestrators of the Barcelona job, Coblentz, played with Gordon Gecko-esque precision by the awesome Michael Douglas, and Rodrigo, a suave Spanish official portrayed by Antonio Banderas with a ruthless, king cobra smile. These two are just wicked. Bill Paxton stars as Mal's pops, John. He's smart, concerned and all the things you want in a tough dad.

The plot while a bit thin, has some meat to it. The non-linear time lends it a bit more complexity, but not much. There's the standard double agent playing both ends to smoke out a traitor. You had your stock characters, too, like the cops. Who were typical chauvinist pigs, dismissing every syllable Mallory utters with egregious disdain. Of course they meet a violent end.

One of my favorite things about this movie? There are no, I repeat no, scantily clad, nude or semi nude scenes from Gina. Well, maybe if you count the robe after the shower, but then it was not really anything. No shower scene, though. Only one bikini shot at the end of some silly vampette. However, Steven did give those of us who love men, a nice shot of Michael Fassbender. He comes out in nothing but a towel. Hell yeah, fist bumps Steven! Some payback for all those trite, candy cane female nude scenes from other action flicks. I hate it when women take off their clothes in a movie for no plausible reason. Like oops, the bad guys come just as they step out of the shower and they have to go on the lam in nothing but a towel.

Soderbergh took the action movie and flipped it in my opinion. He made this whole film feel realistic, as if it could happen right in front of you at any given moment. From the intimate camera work to the fact that Mallory did not have to fight off a coterie of behemoths that would never, ever blend into the background, it all feels authentic. Even the gun battles were not too outlandish. And the cops really came, something that never happens in a Bruce Willis movie unless he is a cop.

Another impressive point for Steven's direction is the end when Mallory gets her man. There's no useless "gotcha asshole" talk, she just flies right at him and starts the beatdown. He also rifs on that typical macho arm wound scene when Mallory escapes the diner in Scott's car. She drives with a bullet wound to her arm while she instructs the kid on how to patch her up. Boo-yah!

I have to point out that people have complained about the acting from Gina, that she's wooden and doesn't have a lot of range. Excuse me, do we expect that shit from Bruce or Arnold? Hell freakin no! So why hold her up to that? She was perfect as far as I was concerned. This is about a ballsy badass getting revenge for being set up. No call for exquisite subtlety. I certainly hope Mallory will be coming back in a sequel. She is a stellar heroine for little girls and women everywhere, including my friend's daughter, little G, who wants this movie for her birthday. And you know Auntie Mel will deliver.

Haywire is an edgy, in-your-face action film all the way. I will end with a fave quote from McGregor's Kenneth "You shouldn't think of her as being a woman. That would be a mistake."

Resident Evil: Retribution Trailer

2012-01-20T15:56:00.000Z

Hell to the yeah!! I am bouncing around this Arctic blast Friday because the trailer for the new Resident Evil film has been released. Whoo freakin' Hoo!!! Resident Evil: Retribution is the latest installment in the highly successful horror franchise starring my girl Alice, played by the ultra cool Milla Jovovich. Check it out...

All I can say is WOW! What a Mach 3, hair on fire ride this is going to be. Plus, it makes me happier than Newt Gingrich at a swingers party to see Michelle Rodriguez and Sienna Guillory once again joining Alice in the zombie killing. What a trio of badass bitches! These movies just do it for me. I mean the only thing that could make them better would be to have werewolves. And with the sheer evil genius that is the Umbrella Corporation, who knows, I may just get them.

These movies are not for everyone and many have accused them of being formulaic, but so what if they are. They're not pretending to be anything else. It's a killer female versus an evil organization and zombies. A simple, in-your-face formula that works in my opinion. And 200 million plus worldwide at the box office is pretty hard evidence to that effect.

I have been a huge fan of this franchise since the first Res Evil hit the theaters back in 2002. Alice is right up there with Ripley and Buffy for me. As someone who grew up watching my sisters be eternally stupid and victimized in horror films, these ladies were the Big Reveal. And indeed there are many more ass-kicking females on television and in films as a result of the success of these three characters. I love these ladies and can only hope that there will continue to be more roles like them for women. No more cannon fodder girly girls who require a man to rescue them.

Resident Evil: Retribution hits theaters September 14.

So are you a fan geek like me? A hater? Or meh about the whole thing?

Sundance 2012

2012-01-18T18:16:00.001Z

It's that time of year when the Who's Who of Tinseltown gather in the frozen cold of Park City, Utah with the not-so-famous, but just as awesomely talented, and watch a crop of indie films that are sure to get people talking. Sundance 2012 kicks off this Thursday the 19th and runs through Sunday the 29th. Here's a breakdown of some of the flicks I find pretty cool and will be keeping an eye out for in my local theaters.

Something From Nothing: The Art of Rap
Directed by Ice-T

The rapper turned actor presents this film about rap, cutting through all the dazzling layers and players to get to the soul of this often controversial art form that has influenced a generation. He talks with the cats I grew up listening to Chuck D, Nas, Mos Def, Dr. Dre, Grandmaster Caz, Snoop Dogg, Ice-Cube and Afrika Bambaataa. I think it's a must see for anyone who loves music in all its forms.

Hello, I Must Be Going
Directed by Todd Louiso

Melanie Lynskey is Amy, a 35 year old woman whose husband suddenly divorces her, leaving her with absolutely nothing. Demoralized,she is forced to move back in with her parents. In the midst of this depressing mess her life has become, she meets a young man spending the summer in town with his parents. They have an affair and it's through this highly unconventional romance that she reignites her self esteem. Sounds typical, but director Louiso made a compelling case for it on the Sundance site. This one is scheduled to open the festival on Thursday.

Excision
Directed by Richard Bates, Jr.

Pauline is a straight up psycho. She loves to pick scabs, dissect road kill and dreams about performing surgery on total strangers. Her parents, classmates and even her therapist all find her highly disturbing. The only one who understands her is her younger sister Grace, who suffers from cystic fibrosis. This looks to be a hellagood horror comedy and it stars John Waters. John "freakin" Waters people. I love him!

Grabbers
Directed by Jon Wright

First some fishermen disappear, then the whale carcasses wash up and finally the murders start. Something evil is stalking the townfolk of Erin Island and it's up to two mismatched cops to find out what in the ever loving hell is going on. They finally discover a large tentacled monster has been using their village as a dining room and the only weapon is booze. Apparently the monster is not into wine with his dinner. You gotta love a horror flick where the only recourse to survival is getting shit-faced.

My Brother, The Devil
Directed by Sally El Hosaini

Mo is is very lonely teen whose desperate need for any kind of attention leads him on some dangerous paths. He idolizes his handsome, charming older brother, Rash, a drug-dealer and gang banger whose crimes support the family and make him quite popular. Aching to be just like his brother, Mo takes a dangerous job that sets him and his brother down a road of revelation. I am eager to see this because it is an urban masculine tale directed by a woman.

Any thoughts? Films you'll be looking forward to?

Moonrise Kingdom Trailer

2012-01-13T18:20:00.000Z

Okay, so you know I don't get all dewy-eyed when it comes to seeing the quirky character-driven flicks on screen. I usually will see them second run, in discounted matinees or with coupons. I pay top dollar for the spectacle, you know, the explosions, the fights, the star ships, the monsters, etc. But, every now and again, one of these films comes along and I have to see it. Moonrise Kingdom by Wes Anderson is one of those films. I am very, very excited about this. Here's the trailer...

Oh my God!! Edward Norton, Bill Murray, Frances MacDormand and Bruce Willis. What a strange brew of quirky goodness. I've just got to see this. Plus, it's Wes Anderson, who is such a great writer and director to me. I loved Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou and Rushmore. All with Bill Murray, one of my favorite comedic actors. He's just awesome.

Moonrise Kingdom will hit theaters here in the States on May 25 in limited release.

Will you see this? Or am I all by my weird lonesomeness?

Thor 2 News

2012-01-12T08:56:00.000Z

Patty Jenkins is out as Thor 2's director and why am I not surprised? Damn you, Marvel! Anyway, the company, which micro-manages their films to the nth degree, has signed on Game of Thrones director Alan Taylor. The script, originally by Don Payne, is now apparently being reworked by Robert Rodat, who wrote Saving Private Ryan, according to Screenrant. Rodat also received an Oscar nod for his work.

While I am disappointed that Thor 2 will not have a female director, I am excited about the return of my favorite Asgardian badass bitch, Sif. Jaimie Alexander confirmed recently that her character, Sif, will return in this next installment. Cue the chorus of Kermit the Frog Yay's. I love Sif and cannot wait to see more of her kicking some super villain ass. And, wait for it, Sif could very well make at least a cameo on Marvel's Avengers, which opens May 4. Who knows? I'm keeping my fingers crossed because that would be killer.

Thor 2 is scheduled to hit theaters November 15, 2013.

OMFG An Evil Dead Remake

2012-01-06T05:29:00.001Z

No,no,no,no,no, NO! *Jaw drops, head thunks* One of my worst nightmares has just come true. They are remaking Evil Dead and without Bruce Campbell, worse, they're even taking out the beloved character of Ash. Say it ain't so Sam Raimi! Come on, at least lie to me. This is horrible, an apocalypse for me and all Evil Dead fans everywhere. And I can't believe who they cast.

Lily Collins. That's right horror fans, the new Ash is going to be a girl and she's going to be played by Lily "Snow White" Collins. Really? Ash has a trademark panache and is sarcastic to the core. And Lily, well, isn't. Sure she's cute and all, and she's a good actress, but she is not a worthy ascendant to the iconic Ash.

Okay, maybe I am over-reacting. It could have been worse, they could have cast someone completely dreadful like Julianna Guill (Friday the 13 redux)or one of those awful Disney actresses who want to use horror to break out of the saccharine mold created for them by The Mouse. But still, Evil Dead with out Ash is like A Nightmare on Elm Street without Freddy Krueger or even Robert Englund. It's unimaginable. We all know how well Jackie Earle Haley worked out as Freddy.

Here's what I know about the rebooted story. According to Bloody Disgusting who broke the news, and MovieLine, Ash will now be Mia, a drug addict who will be detoxing in the infamous cabin in the woods with friends Olivia, Natalie, David and Eric. Mia struggles with her sobriety and starts flipping out. They find the Book of the Dead like the original crew and on comes the demons, leaving only Mia to tackle the evil forces. Sounds like they're trying to take the campy fun out of it and make it serious. As if.

Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell are on board to produce, which gives me a modicum of relief, but it is being directed by virtual unknown Fede Alvarez with a script co-written by Alvarez, Diablo Cody and Rodo Sayaguez. We all have to start somewhere, but this is sacred film territory to me. However, if Raimi is willing to trust, perhaps I should have a little more faith. But somehow I just can't see Lily pulling this off. I'm going to hide under my blanket now with a large container of chocolate and a bottle of wine. A giant bottle.

The Evil Dead reboot is scheduled to start filming this March and is slated to hit theaters on April 12, 2013. Maybe the Mayans are right so I won't have to witness this abomination.

What do you think? Are you as shocked by this as I am? Or am I overreacting and being a big baby? Are you meh about the whole thing and think I should just get over it?

2011 In Review: Mel's Best Films

2011-12-29T22:26:00.000Z

Now that we got the stinkers out of the way, here are my Best Films of this past year that I paid to see and gladly. Heck I'd have paid for a second and third viewing and I am one broke-ass bitch most of the time. Here they are in no particular order...

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2
No surprise here. It's the end of the road for the Hogwart's crew whom I've loved over the course 10 years. This was a big, bold finale that just swept me along for the ride. I loved every second.

Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows
This one could not be better in any way. What a wild, wicked rush into madness and adventure. It has everything from a complex plot and clever dialogue to a deliciously evil villain. I'm ready for the third one. RDJ and Jude Law are just stupendously electric together.

50/50
Joseph Gordon-Levitt has always been a favorite of mine since I first saw that adorable face and smart mouth on 3rd Rock From the Sun. It has been my pleasure to watch him grow as an actor and in this film, he gives the most amazing performance of his career as a young man stricken with a rare cancer. As someone who has cared for cancer patients in my own family, this one nailed the myriad emotions experienced and yet, retained a remarkable comedic element. And look at that Seth Rogen hits both of my lists. He was terrific in this as well.

X-Men: First Class
A high octane film that managed to be character driven as well, I cannot say enough good things about it. Of particular note is Michael Fassbender. He delivers a stellar performance as Erik Lehnsherr aka Magneto, capturing the subtle layers of emotions and motivations that turn Erik into one of the ultimate villains in comics.

Super 8
Bust out those 8 tracks gathering dust up there in the attic and be prepared for the most nostalgic, feel-good, action-packed film of the year. Hats off to J.J. Abrams, who totally channeled the spirit of Spielberg, and took us on a journey back to childhood that still has me smiling.

Bad Teacher
Oh my God this was effing hilarious! I love me the dirty humor and this one brought it in spades. Cameron Diaz, Jason Segel, Justin Timberlake and Lucy Punch are a naughty quartet of comedic genius. I saw it again on DVD and still choked with laughter. And that has happened with only a very short list of comedy films.

The Muppets
Another trip down memory lane for me. This film faithfully captures the spirit of the old Muppets show. It was great to see all the old characters from Kermit, Piggy and Gonzo to Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem band. This film has so many levels it is easily enjoyable for adults and kids. Though I will say at my showing, there were more adults than kids. LOL

Well, there you have it, my personal Bests for 2011. Agree? Think I'm out of my mind? There are many films out there that I did not get to see, that many have included on their best lists, so feel free to leave them as suggestions. I'm always up for a great movie.

2011 In Review: Mel's Worst Films

2011-12-28T16:59:00.002Z

It's that time of year when we lay out the lists of Bests and Worsts. Here is a list of the films I watched, er, suffered through and consider the stinkers of this year. If you've seen them, my condolences, if not thank the Universe that others took that blow to the cranium for you.

Here they are in no particular order...

Red Riding Hood

Are you effing kidding me? This movie was so bad it would have made Ed Wood cry. We got medieval peasants with more hair product than Paul Mitchell booty-popping and gettin' their swerve on with a strangely anachronastic band. Mix in a lame CGI werewolf and the worst acting since Twilight the First and you have a stew of wretched garbage to be avoided at all costs.

Green Hornet

Are we in 2011 or 1911? This was a disgusting racist, misogynistic piece of crap that Seth Rogan should be drawn and quartered for. Jay Chou's Kato is still a house boy and Cameron Diaz' Lenore Case is a secretary straight out of Mad Men. As if that weren't awful enough, there were the giant plot holes, bad dialogue and set design that was caught somewhere between 1960's chic and Disney decadence.

Captain America

I got lambasted for this because oh I didn't understand Cap and the world he came from and blah, blah, blah. I don't care. From acting to dialogue to horrific CGI and plot, this movie was so bad I couldn't even muster a laugh. I was appalled that I had paid for this. And that damned theater would not give me my money back, either. Cheap bastards! I really should sue Marvel for pain and suffering.

Country Strong

Though officially released on Dec 26 2010, I'm counting this one cuz I saw it in January. Nicholas Sparks goes country. The cliches in this one could constitute a drinking game that would have everyone reeling pickled about twenty minutes in. Bad music, bad acting, big hair and enough crying to drown Noah and his ark.

Something Borrowed

Pay attention now, you see the way to get the man you want is to steal him away from his fiancee who happens to be your best friend. But it's all okay cuz you're a good girl and she's really a heinous, spoiled bitch. Whatever. The plot aside, the acting was just dismal as was the trite dialogue. I love Ginnifer Goodwin and Kate Hudson so I though this would be cute, but it was really just bad.

Footloose Redux

Seriously? Who the hell was the genius behind this piece of shit? Everything was the same from Kevin Bacon's original 1984 version, except that the acting and the dancing got worse and wow, John Lithgow's minister became Dennis Quaid's sheriff.

Well, there you go, my worst films that I paid to see this year. Agree, violently disagree? Talk to me. What are your worst?

Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of Shadows

2011-12-27T00:19:00.001Z

I took my nephew and his friend to see Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows and it was more than worth the extortion price to get in. I gladly donated a kidney and an unborn child to be named later to settle in for this hellagood thriller. Guy Ritchie, RDJ and Jude Law delivered in spades once again.

This time around we have Sherlock going up against a criminal mastermind that wants to bring about world war so he clean up on the guns, bullets and bombs necessary to fight this armageddon. A little megalomaniacal for late Victorian England, but I bought it. This covert evil genius is none other than Professor James Moriarty, Holmes' archenemy, the Napoleon of Crime as described by Doyle. He is played to sinister perfection by Jared Harris. The air between Holmes and Moriarty whenever they share screen time is charged, the dialogue, knife-blade sharp. The way they match wits is an intellectual Wimbledon final that left me wanting more and more. I didn't want to leave these two, other than to go to Holmes and Watson, who are just electric together. Seriously, RDJ and Law light it up like Chicago at Christmas. I could not get enough of them and yes, I want another SH film right freakin' now.

Back to the shadow game. Holmes becomes aware of Moriarty's machinations through Irene Adler, in a thankfully brief cameo by Rachel McAdams. Sherlock, of course forms his crazy, frantic web of red string to try and tie it all together. Enter poor Watson, who is arriving in expectation of his bachelor party, only to get caught up once more in his friend's insanity.

Cut to the Diogenes Club and the "bachelor" party, which really isn't one as the only other person Watson knows is Mycroft, Holmes' equally eccentric older brother. Stephen Fry is brilliant as Holmes the Elder. He seems a stodgy, almost calmer version of Sherlock, but he really has his own steamer trunk of weirdness. Here they meet Gypsey fortune teller Madame Simza played by Noomi Rapace in a stellar performance. Her chemistry with both RDJ and Law is dynamite. She really holds her own unlike McAdams, who, while I like her, was woefully mis-cast as Adler. She had chemistry, but you could tell she was overwhelmed.

After saving Simza and defeating a Cossack assassin in a roller coaster chase through the club, Holmes deposits a hung-over Watson at his wedding. While the good doctor enjoys his new bride, Holmes heads to confront Moriarty. What a verbal thrust and parry this scene is. It starts off with toothy pleasantries, two sharks circling, then spirals into a sinister verbal duel. I sat on the edge of my seat watching the blood-letting until Moriarty makes it clear that he was going to go through Watson to punish Holmes. Harris has such a vulturine look in his eyes here, it is scary to behold.

Moriarty brings the Wrath of the Universe down on Watson as he arranges for a squad of soldier types to blow the guy's honeymoon train to smithereens. This action sequence and the dialogue are some of the best of the film. Ritchie pulls out all the stops with everything flying fast and furious on speeding rail cars. It was phenomenal and RDJ in a dress just ruled along with his double entendres. And can I just say that Kelly Reilly is so kick ass as Mary Watson. I cheered when she picked up Watson's gun and ordered that thug off the train. A bride worthy of my favorite doctor.

From here on out the action just keeps building with a few catch-your-breath moments. It leads to a spectacular chase scene through the woods of Germany that had my jaw on the floor. I looked like a landed trout, the boys, too. The whole thing winds up at a peace conference where Holmes and Moriarty engage in a verbal chess match that is some of the most scintillating dialogue I have ever witnessed on screen. I won't spoil it except to say if you read the books, you know all about what happens when these two engage in their climactic battle. See this right now and strap in for Sherlock 3.

TheMovie411 Blog Awards 2011: Winners Post

2011-12-20T19:14:00.003Z

The winners post 2011 is finally here!

First, and on behalf of this years Judges, Melissa Bradley, Christian James, MindOfMine and of course myself, we would like to thank everyone who has taken part in TheMovie411 Blog Awards 2011, and an even bigger thank you to those who have nominated and voted over the past couple of months.

For the winners, your badge awards will have been sent to your e-mail. If you have not received them please e-mail themovie411@live.co.uk . Though please allow until 5pm Thursday 21st December to recieve them.

Making the Top5 is a big achievement itself, so if you have not won the category you were nominated in don’t be downhearted, you have had many people nominate and vote for you to make it this far so you should be chuffed! And for that reason, if you’re a Top5 entrant you can request a personal ‘nominated badge’ much like the one pictured right.

Ok so lets get down to the categories and them all important winners…..

TheMovie411 Best Post Award, your nominees are:

Alex J Cavanaugh for: Worst Movies Ever Blogfest
Cool Ass Cinema for: Franchise Of Fear Halloween Part 1
Lets Get Out Of Here for: Voorhees Jolly Good Fellow
FilmMattic for: Film Rant
SonSation for: Who’s Your Favourite Muppet

And The Winner is…..Craig Edwards of Lets Get Out Of Here for his post: Voorhees Jolly Good Fellow.

Fighting off some rather smart competition, Craig’s post takes the grand prize. His post on the Friday the 13th horror icon - Jason Voorhees not only shows an in depth knowledge of movie and character, but his witty style and pure love for the genre pours out to create a ‘must read’ article. Well done Craig!

The Movie411 Best Newcomer Award, your nominees are:

FilmMattic
MovieMarker
MsMariah
Electric Daze

And your Winner is….Movie Marker
Chief Editor Luke Walkley

It’s hard to believe a blog site can grow so fast in such a short space of time, however the creators that be at Movie Marker have achieved just that. Though an occurance of a disqualification in the Top5 of this category, the competition was very tough with all entrants. Movie Marker displays some exceptional reviews from many of their writers, and also some fun Oscar predictions as well a few look-backs of cinematic classics. Their fun and informative posts have clinched your votes for them to take away The Best Newcomer award, well done everyone at MM!

TheMovie411 Best Action Blog Award, your nominees are:

Action Flick Chick
Watching The Detectives
Direct To Video Connoisseur
CinemaObsessed
A Life In Equinox

And the Winner is…Katrina Hill - Action Flick Chick

She won Best Action last year and she’s done it again this year, Queen of Action herself - Katrina Hill and her awesome site dedicated to action movies seems unbeatable in this category as she fought off other strong contenders to remain at the top.

If Swarzennegger himself had an action blog, he’d still be not match for Miss Hill…..She’ll Be Back!

TheMovie411 Best Horror Blog Award, your nominees are:

Memoirs Of A Scream Queen
Dinner With Max Jenkie
iZombie
Horror Movie Diary
Haribo Extreme Culture

And The Winner is: Haribo Extreme Culture
Chief Editor Anil Koc

Remaining one of our most competitive categories, Haribo Extreme Culture fights off some big guns of the Horror Blogosphere and takes the title.

Proving there’s no language barrier when it comes to TheMovie411 Blog Awards, the Turkish writers at Haribo Extreme Culture are very knowledgeable of the genre and sometimes their posts are freakier than the movies they review. We love it! Well done H.E.C!

The Movie411 Best Design Blog Award, your nominees are:

Radio Pop Action
Sequel Buzz
MovieMarker
SonSation
CineMarvellous

And the Winner is....Movie Marker

Their second gong of the night, Movie Marker walks away with Best Design. Their site sports a professional look and is easy to navigate, but not only that, it looks damn cool too! These guys look pretty unstoppable tonight, MM we salute you!
TheMovie411 Best Sci-Fi Blog Award, your nominees are:

Alex J Cavanaugh
The Geek Twins
Classic Sci-Fi
Sci-Fi Bloggers
Sci-Fi Blog.net

And the Winner is…Alex J. Cavanaugh

What a shocker - Alex J Cavanaugh walks away with Best Sci-Fi for the second year in a row and we are all pretty happy about it. The Sci-Fi author who was also Top5 for Best Post this year will be humbly bowing out of next years awards to host and judge The Movie411 Blog Awards 2012. Winning by a large margin it’s safe to say - Alex, you really are king of Sci-Fi and next years winner has a lot to live up to.

TheMovie411 Best Gossip Blog Award, and the nominees are:

Hollywood Spy
CineMarvellous
Sequel Buzz
Cine-Vue
SonSation

And the Winner is…Dezmond -Hollywood Spy

Last years Gold Award winner, Hollywood Spy, triumphs in the Best Gossip category again this year. Also winning in 2010, Dezmond proves he is the king of gossip with his daily posts containing headlines and spoilers on all things entertainment.

Hollywood Spy loves you and there’s nothing you can do about it…..but we love you more! Well done Dez!

The Movie411 Sexiest Female Blog Author Award, the Head2Head nominees are:

Melissa Bradley - Melissa’s Imaginarium

Jenny Kruger- Memoirs Of A Scream Queen

And The Winner is….Melissa Bradley

Our closest poll ever see’s a much loved and very sexy Melissa Bradley take this years Sexiest Female Author Award.
Fighting off someone as stunning as Miss Kruger is no easy achievement, but Mel proves she’s our Queen this year and wow do we love you!

TheMovie411 Sexiest Male Blog Author, the Head2Head nominees are:

Mitch- Movies With Mitch Matt- FilmMattic

And the Winner is…Mitch

Mitch, you are our hunk of 2011 and fighting off someone as sexy as Matt with his abs of steel proves your natural good looks are what the ladies are willing to give up their knickers…I mean votes for. Well done chap, I think I fancy you myself! (seriously he’s a bit of alright isn’t he?)

The Judges Awards:
Ok a quick breather before the two big awards, Special Achievement and Gold Blog awards are announced. I hope your having fun so far.

Helping me judge Best Comedy, Best Interview and the Special Achievement Awards this year are:

Christian James, returning this year and responsible for registering your nominations and making sure the voting poll has no cheaters, our beloved CJ has sifted through hundreds of blogs (as have we all) to search for them all important winners.
He’s also responsible for being a huge pain in my backside and relentless abuse about my huge nose.

Melissa Bradley: Co-Editor of TheMovie411 and now our very own sexiest female of the year 2011, Mel has also been working hard replying to all you nominators and registering your votes.

MindOfMine: Our Guest Writer this year and now our guest judge..he runs a cool blog and has a huge love for the blog awards and was only too happy to submit his views on our suggestions.

So without further do….

Your Judges Choice Award for Best Comedy is…..Cinema Obsessed

Angie and Chantale never fail to make us and their readers laugh, weather their posts be about Comedy Movies or even Horror movies, their witty writing skills will make your belly hurt and your throat sore from giggling to much. Not to mention their wacky design art. Well done Ann and Chan!

Your Judges Choice Award for Best Animation is…..CineMarvellous

George runs a damn cool blog, and was joint 1st place for the Best Animation award last year. This year he has devoted a whole section of his site towards Animation movies making it easier to find his reviews on the genre. He has posted many exceptional reviews on animated movies for 2011, including Arthur Christmas 3D, TinTin, and Rango. He’s our very own Kung Fu Panda, and always a hot favourite for several awards. Well done George!

Your Judges Choice Award for Best Interview is…..Hollywood Spy

His interview with New Zealand’s rising star, Kyle Pryor was not only an exceptional must read, but proves Dezmond of Hollywood Spy will go that extra mile to entertain us and gain an interview with a movie actor that any movie blogger would just love to do.

Hollywood Spy has become a must read for entertainment gossip, and with Dezmond gaining interviews like this, is it any wonder?

The Movie411 Special Achievement Award 2011 Judges choice Award:

CineMarvellous is a dedicated blog to all movie genres and is run with absolute devotion to his followers by George, a.k.a Nebular.

Nominated for 4 MBA’s last year and 3 MBA’s this year including the Gold Award, winning best Animation in 2010 and 2011 proves that not only is he talented, but that his posts are loved by many readers.

This year has seen many changes to his blogsite, including the introduction to his short quick fire reviews, keeping us all up to date with what, and what not to see at on the big screen in 2011.

To a Blog that just gets bigger and better every year, there really is no other blog that deserves this recognition more than CineMarvellous. Congratulations George, on behalf of all the judges and your readers, you deserve it.

Finally we have come to our top award and the category that received the highest entry of nominations again this year…..

TheMovie411 GOLD BLOG AWARD 2010, your nominees are:

Hollywood Spy
CineMarvellous
Horror Blogger Alliance
Movies With Mitch
The One Review

And the WINNER is…Movies With Mitch
Our sexiest male blogger of 2011 walks away with our top prize this year after a fantastic amount of support from his readers. His well written posts ‘making movies safer, one review at a time’ have kept you entertained throughout the year and kindled your support.

His cheeky charm, those gritty posts, and a well designed site is fully deserving of the Gold, and all of us at TheMovie411 would like to say a big congratulations to you Mitch, well done!

And that’s it for another year of the Movie411 Blog Awards, we hope you have enjoyed it as much as we have.
2012 will see some big changes to the Blog Awards, with more great contenders, and this time sponsors with prizes! We never expected the Movie411 Blog Awards to become as big as it has, and we thank all of you who have nominated and indeed participated.

Alex J Cavanaugh will be hosting next years blog awards and we are thrilled about it, so look out for more information on TheMovie411 Blog Awards 2012 in January, but for now, on behalf of everyone at the 411, thank you and have a very Merry Christmas.

You can leave your messages of congratulations, and comments on this years award winners post below, but please, remain as you have been, and show good sportsmanship.. Inappropriate comments will be deleted. Thank you.