Similarly, when I was talking to The Neighbor the other day and I mentioned in passing that the baby didn’t do anything all day yesterday in her diaper other than wet it, he gave me a speech about natural colon cleansing. Hello? She’s not quite two years old. I’m not going to do all that to her yet.

Maybe this guy should get together with my sister. What am I saying!?

I can’t seem to stop myself from sitting here reading online about Disney vacation packages and wishing I had the time and the money.

I guess Spring Fever has officially hit this end of the internet.

I found a CPU fan that was without a CPU to cool and screwed that into the air vent then I found a universal power supply for sale that could be set to provide the 12 volts the fan needed. I took the connector off the wires on the fan and stuck the power leads directly into the holes that the power adapter’s tip was supposed to plug into and, viola, a working fan. The only problem with that setup was that if I moved just wrong I’d pull the power wires out of the A/C adapter and be back at square one if I was using the machine at night, in the dark. Today I got a chance to cut the end off the A/C adapter’s cord and hard wire the fan’s power leads to it. MUCH better. Now I just need to find a more secure way of holding the fan in place.

Now that I’m using the laptop again, I’m remembering what a pain in the butt this touchpad mouse can be when your hands are deformed from Rheumatiod Arthritis. I’m wondering if a wireless notebook mouse would be worth the loss of mobility created by having to stay near a flat surface to operate the mouse on.

The inside of the home has lots of open area, a beautiful fireplace, and the place is loaded with the rustic looking log furniture that looks like it was made with my friend in mind.

I hope he has years of enjoyment in that place.

However, life being what it is, I never got the chance to do all the editing necessary, so instead I want everyone to pretend that this blog’s color scheme is mainly green today instead of red.

Thank you.

It was at this point that I submitted my suggestion for how she should get her hair cut. I provided her with a link to this image:

For some strange reason, my niece didn’t like my suggestion.

Part of the problem, I’m sure, is that she doesn’t have a set of noise-isolating ear buds. They’re the $2 specials from Wally Word. Another part of the problem is the fact that only one ear bud is working, so she finds it necessary to turn up the volume in the remaining one.

I haven’t yet gotten to the point where I snatch the ear bud out of her ear and listen for myself to how loud it actually is. Frankly, I’m a little afraid to do that - I value my hearing. On the other hand, something keeps telling me that maybe I should, just to make certain I’m not over reacting.

Maybe I’m just turning into an old codger. The kids sure enjoyed it, though.

For this reason we took to giving seasons of 1970s- and 1980s-era television series as birthday and Christmas gifts. I currently have all five seasons of Quantum Leap and the first six seasons of Star Trek: The Next Generation, as well as three or four seasons of MacGyver. My wife as, among other things, two seasons of Little House On The Prairie.

I find myself wishing that when we were buying those two seasons that we had run into a sale like the one I just saw. The entire series, all 9 seasons, in one package for about $145. That works out to less than $16.50 per season.

As I type this I’m sitting here watching the youngest member of the family completely enthralled by VeggieTales and I’m wondering how many different videos they made and if it’s possible to find them all in one boxed set.

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: ‘Hello’
WOMAN: ‘Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?’
MAN: ‘Yes’
WOMAN: ‘I am at the shops now and found… this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000. Is it OK if I buy it?’
MAN: ‘Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.’
WOMAN: ‘I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new Models. I saw one I really liked.’
MAN: ‘How much?’
WOMAN: ‘ $90,000′
MAN: ‘OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.’
WOMAN: ‘Great! Oh, and one more thing…the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking $980,000′
MAN: ‘Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 80 thousand if it’s really a good deal.’
WOMAN: ‘OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much!’
MAN: ‘Bye! I love you, too.’

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape. He turns and asks: ‘Anyone know who this phone belongs to?

Now this one is an oldie, for sure. My father told me a variation on this same joke about 30 years ago. It’s still a really good one, in my not so humble opinion.

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beaches in Montego Bay, Jamaica. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. People would say, “What a peaceful & loving couple”

The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriag…e.

The Husband replied: “Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America,” explained the man. “We visited the Grand Canyon, in Arizona, and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon, by horse. We hadn’t gone too far when my wife’s horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, “That’s one.”

“We proceeded a little further and her horse stumbled again. Again my wife quietly said, “That’s two.” We hadn’t gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for the third time my wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.

I shouted at her, “What’s wrong with you, Woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that? Are you *+%$**£” crazy!?”

She looked at ME, and quietly said, “That’s one.”

And from that moment “we have lived happily ever after.”

As much as this practice drives me buggy, it has given me an idea for a birthday present for one of them, provided they don’t kill each other between now and October. I found a 3-band audio mixer on sale for 50% off. This will allow them to mix two different audio tracks together, crossfade, and, yes, play with the pitch and speed.

There’s a place for that kind of thing, but out here in the middle of nowhere ain’t it.

I can’t help but wonder about someone who puts something on their body that’s both permanent and in a language they don’t speak. My friend swears that he has friends who speak Thai and have told him what it means, but I still maintain that, especially when you’re twenty, it’s not unheard of to have your “friends” get together pull a prank on you.

One of this guy’s friends joined our conversation long enough to proclaim that the tattoo actually said, “I like surprise butt sex”, thus illustrating my point about knowing the language before you have it tattooed on yourself. I’m sure that’s not what it actually says, but I’m guessing that in some deep-down part of his consciousness, Craig will always wonder.

The reason it’s called PI day is because the mathematical symbol PI is roughly equal to 3.1415926535897932384626433832795.

Every time I hear the term PI being used, I think about a couple of jokes.

What do you get when you divide an igloo’s circumference by it’s diameter?
Eskimo Pi.

What do you get when you divide the circumference of a Jack-O-Lantern by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.

I always thought that, truth be told, they looked more like 3 1/2 inch floppy disks, but that also didn’t seem quite right because they lacked any sort of a spot where the media inside could be accessed by a read/write head. I’ve finally discovered what they most closely resemble: the SD card that my digital camera uses.

One question comes to mind now. If a card that’s about 1 inch square can hold as much as 8 gigabytes (do they come any bigger than that? that’s the largest I remember seeing for sale.), then how much data could fit on one that was closer to two and a half inches square?

For anyone who’s going to be doing some birthday shopping for me, while I’d really like to have a memory card for my camera that could hold 24 or even 32 gigabytes of data, I’d be perfectly happy with another 8 gig memory card - and the time necessary to fill it up.

First of all, note that the word SAVING is not plural. Not only is the term “Daylight Savings” just plain wrong, but it sounds like the name of some cosmic bank.

“Hello. Welcome to Daylight Savings. How may I help you?”

“Yeah, I’d like to withdraw some daylight from my account, please.”

I’m quite sure that there was once a purpose behind adjusting the clock so there was more daylight available in the evenings during the summer, but I am of the opinion that with the advent of the electric light there is no longer a need for such schedule-screwing nonsense.

Case in point, is a picture of some office furniture destroyed by pouring tons of concrete on it.

When I look at the picture above, and the ones that accompany it on hunter4u.com, the only thing I can do is sit and wonder two things: 1) How does someone get that much concrete into an office building without security stopping them with a few questions and 2) WHY would someone drown an innocent-looking desk and chair in wet cement?

Things that make you go, “What the heck…?”

This place is going to need the roof fixed, the ceilings and floors replaced, and probably new drywall throughout because of mold thanks to the leaky roof and the fact that it’s been sitting vacant for quite a while. My daughter has, of course, already decided that the shower in the master bathroom simply must have the faucets replaced with a Single Handle Brushed Nickel Bathroom Faucet she found on sale because, as she so eloquently puts it, “it’s Kewl”.

The one thing about this deal that makes me a little nervous is the fact that there is nothing written down that spells out exactly what will be expected of them and exactly what they can expect in return. I tend to believe that an oral contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on. Some call me a pessimist because I think like that. I prefer the term “realist”.

For the record, the answer, according to answers.com is “It is more dense than water, and [presumably] it is not shaped in such a way that all of its weight can be displaced before the stone submerges. “.

The only two drawbacks are that 1) I have two cords to plug in when I use the laptop now and 2) if I use the wrong outlet, the fan causes interference on the baby monitor that Mom uses to keep an ear on the living room and front door when she’s in the bedroom (particularly at night). It means I have to sit a the “play table” which is way too low for a full-grown person to sit at comfortably, but at least I can use the laptop again.

*GROWL*

The Food and Drug Administration has posted this warning about the counterfeit pills.

To get an idea of what I’m talking about, you must first understand that my mother-in-law is one of those people who never throws anything away because it might come in handy … someday … eventually … maybe.

While helping her go through some stuff today I happened upon a bag of Tootsie-Roll Pops that I’m pretty sure is old enough to vote! All I know is that the wrappers are stuck to the candy and nothing short of a hammer and chisel will separate them.

A box on the bottom shelf in the bathroom closet contained, among other things, a bottle of phisoderm that my wife was using back in high school (did I mention that she graduated in 1985?)

I can’t wait to see what we turn up tomorrow.

I made this video to try to explain this device from a non-smoker’s point of view. Please bear in mind that I really don’t like being in front of a camera; I would much rather be the one TAKING the picture, so please be nice.

*This review is a result of a feedback campaign by PremiumCigarette.com The recipients were asked to give their honest opinion about the product they received. Good reviews were not incentivized and poor reviews will not be censored for their opinion of the product.*