Thru Sonia's Eyes...

A few more new photos...

2011-08-23T19:41:00.001-05:00

Thru Sonia's Eyes' photostream on Flickr.

Please check these out and let me know what you think please. If you can not leave a comment on flickr, then respond here! thanks

A Trip to a Local Cemetery

2011-07-12T22:41:00.001-05:00

A couple pictures taken this weekend. My son has developed an interest in filming movies and is currently working on a zombie movie. He asked me this weekend if I would take him to an old cemetery so he could film some "opening scene" footage. "Sure son...lets go."

To be honest, I really just wanted to go with my camera and my own agenda.

Waiting Room Observations. . .

2011-07-11T18:50:00.000-05:00

To my left a mother quietly reads to the small child in her lap;
. . . slowly encouraging her little one to pronounce the words herself.

To my right an elderly lady with a blush to her face;
. . . speaks into her cell phone, "Didn't you hear my friend? I am getting married, this fall!"

I sit in between waiting to hear- waiting for a Doctor to tell me for good or for bad;
. . . "Well, this is how it is."

A strange place to be, bordered by Hope on both sides of the room;
. . . when you have none.

Ready for Another One?

2011-07-07T08:03:00.000-05:00

I understand. . . all of my two readers are probably starting to get bored with this, but here I am back again with another wonderful question from Mastin Kipp's The Daily Love and author Jackson Kiddard. Believe me, I know that few people really read this blog...but these past few days have been a good exercise for me. My hope is that some of it has touched another person...somewhere, in some small way. (** Note, please do not in any way misinterpret that last statement!)

"If it were true that everyone you meet is YOU in another body, how would you treat them?"

Boy, I really wish I could get some comments on this one. It seems at first like a simple question with a simple answer, but is it? My first quick answer to this one is "I would kick their ass!" But that is me and most times I really don't like myself very well. The experts (and my therapist) tell me that I really should not feel that way but that self-loathing keeps me in line at times. All the inspirational material advises me that I must love myself before I can love another. Well...darn it, I guess based on my answer to this question -that it TRUE.

Let me attempt to answer the above question again, the way my therapist would want me to. If everyone I met was me in another body, I would smile and say "I love you...and you are great!" STOP.... No, I can't take it!! I am beginning to sound like Stuart Smalley! Nope...think I will stick with my first answer!

Question of the Day- Part II

2011-07-06T08:17:00.000-05:00

As promised yesterday, and as an exercise in forcing myself to write everyday, I offer up to you my second probing question. Once again I remind you that these questions were taken from author Jackson Kiddard as I noted yesterday. This time...I am going to take a chance and answer this one for myself. Please feel free to reflect on it-either internally or leave a comment.

If you knew you had a choice about what kind of life you could be living, would you choose differently?

Wow, my first thought when reading this question was, "Hell yeah"! However, the more I reflected on it and looked at my life, I began to be a little embarrassed at that quick response. I thought to myself, "Wait, you mean I did not already have a choice?" I was under the impression that I always had a choice in what kind of life I was living. Don't we all? Once we become adults, we make very independent decisions about life- do we not? I tried to search deeper into my memory to find a moment that as an adult, I did not have a choice in what path I took, what corner I went around or who I included in my life. The life that I am living in right now, is the result of several independent choices I have made.

It seems to me this question might be asking, "If you could go back and do over some of those choices you made and change your current life, would you?". To be honest, I am not sure that I would at this stage in my life. I made some really bad choices a few times in my life, but I learned from them and I don't think I want to lose the lessons that I gained from the experience. I guess if I really want to be honest, I would admit that there might be a few little choices made that I would change...like not spending as much money, or telling my family that I love them more often. What about you?

Questions for Everyday

2011-07-05T09:24:00.000-05:00

This week (or what is left of it) I will post a series of questions that I read several days ago. These questions are borrowed from some wisdom that was posted on The Daily Love and written by author Jackson Kiddard. Yes, I know they are not my words and this is not very original but I felt a need to share all these questions with you. Maybe they will make a difference.
So, here are the first two;

If today was IT, would you die knowing you did your best?
If tomorrow never came, would you be proud of the last thing you said to each person you love?

Think, discuss and feel free to comment...
Thank you

Comedy In The Midst of Depression

2011-07-03T19:48:00.000-05:00

It is so very difficult to find your sense of humor when surrounded by the fog of depression. Ok well, at least it seems that way to me right now. I am sure that many comedy writers may disagree with me on this one. In fact, I think I have read that some of the best material is written at during the lowest of personal times. If this is true, I wish someone would give me a road map out of this funk that I am in.

Guilty As Charged!

2011-07-01T19:55:00.000-05:00

Yep..I admit it. I am guilty of wasting great ideas and letting them float right on by -down the drain. I can be, at times, extremely creative but I sit and let "stuff" get in the way. Stuff like games, chatting, and parties. Statements like "I need to clean that room" or "I have been working all day long and I just want to chill-out" give me an excuse to not take chances. Why do I do that??

I did take a chance almost a month ago, making the time to drive about 2 1/2 hours from home to attend the VIP screening of a new documentary American Ghost Hunter -The Movie . I met some really amazing people; Chad Calek, Ryan Buell, Mary Beth Wylie, Sergey Poberezhny, Joe Ansley (lead vocals of the band Index Case) and Justin Holstein. I have devoted some of my blog space to talk about this event and the people involved already. Please read some of my other post and check out these links to read more about the movie. All of these guys are very talented yet at the same time, willing to spend a few moments with fans.

I have met many more ambitious, creative artist, and successful business people in my life so you would think some of that would rub off on me? My problem is, I let the mundane, day-to-day survival stuff get in my way. It is possible though for me to still concentrate on taking care of family, job and life but still continue to learn photography and write. I might not be very good at it...but at least I will be able to say that I gave it a try.
I will be writing more later..(not that anyone really reads these things anyway). Check out my photographs at Flickr and leave comments-good or bad!

Thru Sonia's Eyes' photostream

2011-07-01T18:55:00.001-05:00

Thru Sonia's Eyes' photostream on Flickr.

Why does time seem to fly by?

2011-05-30T16:49:00.001-05:00

It seems that I have been successful in hiding away from creativity over the past few months. In reality, I have been held hostage by work, fighting over sixth grade finals (my son's), angst over my inability to pay bills that I owe, and plain ol depression. It is not my intent to waste a post just to share my problems or cause the rest of the world any grief, nor do I wish to make excuses for not at least trying to write.

This post is just a starting point, maybe a new beginning. I did say "Maybe" so please do not hold your breath. Do take a few moments and look at some new photographs I took last week. Let me know what you think. My new project is a walk around town...an Urban A-Z so to speak. Once you have breezed thru my feeble attempt, please take a moment to visit a photographer and his blog Inspired by Light Sergey Poberezhny is such a talent!
This young man is such an inspiration to me!!

Arrivederci! Sonia

This new Trailer is so good ...

2011-04-10T10:51:00.000-05:00

it SHOULD NOT be posted at the bottom of my blog page! I don't know what I was thinking but my intentions were good. After watching this newest trailer for American Ghost Hunter -The Movie I am dead-set on going to see it in Atlanta this summer. If you are like me, and too lazy to scroll all the way to the bottom of my blog then you can fin the link within this blog post!

If you check out the event dates and times for summer and they are all sold out..then check HERE for Fall event dates and tickets!!!

Get your tickets now!

2011-04-02T11:04:00.000-05:00

This is a cool group of guys, a very talented bunch who have put their hearts and souls into this work. I am looking forward to seeing them come to Atlanta! Check out these dates for the Fall!

American Ghost Hunter the Movie

More Ghostly Favorites..

2011-03-25T20:42:00.000-05:00

Since most last posting, I realized that I should give equal time to some other great ghost hunters. I started watching Paranormal State several years ago and fell in love with its host Ryan Buell!

Last I read, the show is or had ended and Ryan Buell and his investigator/tech specialist Sergey Poberezhny have moved on to bigger and better projects. A new full-length movie called AMERICAN GHOST HUNTER! I can't wait to see it and am looking for a way to make it to one of the screenings nearby. I will write more about these guys later but please check out the links if you have time.

American Ghost Hunter

My newest diversion...Spooky!

2011-03-08T23:21:00.001-06:00

Let me just start by saying...OMG did you hear that? Never mind it was just the sound of me, becoming obsessed with a show and the paranormal scene. About a year ago I found myself with an entire weekend in total control of the remote control and absolutely nothing to do. That's a dangerous combination where I am concerned. Typically, I would find some friends, a concert or late night club to visit and be filled with regrets in the morning. No..this time I ended up in a glorious relationship with the guys in the Travel Channel show Ghost Adventures . In fact, this picture depicts the shows host Zak Bagans' reaction when he found out we were in a glorious relationship.
Just kidding... I do not personally know these guys but after watching every episode ever aired, they feel like "home" to me and I would gladly welcome them into my home.

I am familiar with the paranormal, have had my share of brushes some unexplained events that could only be described as paranormal (insert your own joke here). But, I also tend to be the type of person with the mantra "I believe it when I see it." These three guys; Zak Bagans, Aaron Goodwin and Nick Groff have really created a believable and entertaining show about the paranormal that makes me ( or anyone) believe. The show is wonderful! They are accomplished in the art of video, film as well as entertainment and story telling.

Please give this show a try....and let me know what you think. I am also interested in hearing about any paranormal experiences any of you may have had. Maybe we can compare notes. I have some really neat stories to tell about a man who never wanted to leave the home he lived in but was forced in his retirement to move on. On the day he sold his life long home and moved on...a traffic accident took his life. This man never crossed over...and tried to tell me about it every night for 8 years. HMMM

More Photos

2011-03-06T19:57:00.000-06:00

Thought it was time I began using this blog I created instead of letting it sit and waste space. My live ha s been so busy lately! Most of these pictures have been posted before and some of my friends may recognize them but I really have not had time to get out with my camera. Hope you all enjoy looking through them again.

I know...I did not take this one, but I thought it seemed to capture me pretty well. This was the morning after a wild night in New Orleans.

A typical afternoon on my patio...what you do not see is the smoke pouring from the grill and the grass in bad need of a cut. Enjoy!!! Leave me a comment if you like...even if you don't like.

Where am I Going? and A Website to Share

2010-08-26T22:26:00.000-05:00

"Whatever you are by nature, keep it; never desert your line of talent. Be what nature intended you for, and you will succeed."
Sydney Smith, writer and cleric

Creativity seemed to take another vacation yesterday.

I made a feeble attempt last night but was severely distracted. My partner insisted on watching Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo which for some strange reason kept bleeding my brain cells dry. It was like passing a really horrific train wreak, you feel bad for the victims but you can not help but watch.

And that was it for the evening. My desire to write only took me as far as opening blogger and staring at the blank "new post" page. Even after a fair nights sleep, getting up and to my office was difficult because I was feeling rather lame and disappointed in myself for not writing something. Several times before arriving at the office I asked myself "Why are you even trying?"

You see, I am one of the lucky ones. I have a job that I enjoy, and work in a comfortable environment with good people that all get along. I know that I could be doing more, but with the current economy I don't dare make changes. Given my current creative block, it would be foolish to give it up to make more time for writing , especially since I am not very good at it anyway. Doubt begins to creep in, along with regret, which leads to resentment. By the time I arrived at work the DRR was at full throttle!

This morning the light in my foggy, lesion filled brain was switched on by a very dear Internet friend named Mastin Kipp. He is not aware that I consider him a friend or that I quite often find inspiration from his work but each morning I can count on an email from Mastin's beautiful website The Daily Love The email is filled with inspirational quotes, links to great authors and Mastin's own "Affirmations" for the day.

Today's Affirmations from Mastin really filled me with such hope and I would like to share it with you here;
" I see life through the lens of abundance!"

"What I see in other's is a reflection of the same in me!"

"I trust my talents and express them fearlessly!"

"I am grateful for change because I know it always brings new energy into my life!"

I plan on saying this to myself everyday, or at least try to. For some reason, Mastin's e-mail was sent to me at just the right time and I am grateful. Please visit his page and sign up for this e-mail gem soon!!!

It's Tuesday and I have nothing more to say...

2010-08-24T23:16:00.000-05:00

Dear Sleep....please visit me tonight. I know you have been here several nights before but I need you to stay this time more than 4 hours. Thanks to an occasional dirty martini, or a full 24 hours without sleep, you allow me 8 hours of bliss. Lately you have been AWOL!

The sounds I hear at night during these sleepless hours are ear-piercing. My body jolts upward at the sounds of Pasha's small paws scratching to open a drawer located 100's of square feet away. "GO TO SLEEP CAT!!!"

Does anyone have an atlas road map that will direct me to the dreams of the gods? Perhaps my writing would be oh so much better if the dreams would return. HELP!

Another Manic Monday...

2010-08-23T12:33:00.002-05:00

Mr. J.C. Penny tells us..."I am grateful for all my problems. After each one was overcome, I became stronger and more able to meet those that were still to come. I grew in my difficulties."

Thank you Mr. Penny for that little bit of wisdom. I agree with you wholeheartedly and embrace this wisdom as my own but I wish to add the following:

(1) Nothing in this statement allows for my right to kick, scream, cuss or whine a problem through to its end. I exert this right with every problematic situation I find myself in. Personally, I find great strength with every dammit, every tear I shed, and every physical punishment I apply to my person. Even though it might make everyone around me feel uncomfortable, these things pump me up for whatever the battle might bring to me. Therefore, I would end this quote with the following caveat, "I fight and I fight hard - please take cover and take nothing I say or do personally."

(2) Sometimes I make a mountain out of an opened box belonging to Pandora. In other words, I create my own catastrophes most of the time. For these self-created challenges I am not so grateful like Mr. Penny. Although, I do learn from the problems and life-challenges created by moi better than those fate hands me. After all, when you find out that you are the cause of a personal set-back and there is no one left to blame, what possible solution is left? Only this, Learn, Change, Take Control!

I do love this quote from Mr. Penny and I try my best. But since I make so many problems and challenges for myself, I sure wish life and fate would stop handing me new ones!

A Long Weekend and A New Journal

2010-08-22T22:26:00.000-05:00

What a Waste! I got nothing accomplished this weekend -ZERO! I could not manage a creative thought and my camera still sits collecting dust. What is wrong with me?

Since I was at home today nursing my sore foot, which has become quite colorful in the past 24 hours , my brain worked overtime to come up with ideas for this blog. "Maybe you should just start placing your daily journal here for everyone to see," my foggy brain told me. Hmmm...ok, that is a start.

"Don't worry, I will come up with something entertaining," I informed my foggy brain. "Anyway...you have too many white spots and we don't want those lesions to get the idea that they have any type of control."

For now, I will put this to rest and dream on it. Maybe the journal thing is a good idea but I think it might take a good nights sleep to get it going. Maybe some of my friends out there could offer an idea up.

Goodnight my friends!

HOLD ON! Addendum to Big Ass Birthday Party

2010-08-21T21:58:00.000-05:00

Stop the Presses..stop making all those 50th birthday party plans for moi. At least if you insist on helping me celebrate my golden years...don't invite these kids!

Mindset of The Class of 2014

I want a Big-Ass Birthday Party...

2010-08-04T20:12:00.000-05:00

Over the years, I have made my family and friends swear & certify in blood that they would not make a big deal over my 50th birthday. I have always cringed when a co-worker gets awarded the delightful "office full of plastic vultures" gag, or made to suffer eating a piece of black cake. No, I did not want to suffer the embarrassment of everyone making a big deal over the fact that I am getting old.

However, as 2012 draws near, my attitude has changed thank god. I can hear the collective sigh of relief now! This change in attitude is not a result of some new found spiritual awakening brought on by the 2012, end-of-the-world prophecy. Oh no, I refuse to become a devoted supporter of the Nostradamus predictions, spending my days and nights searching the internet for deals on survival kits. Why you ask? Because I do not believe in predictions and banking my life on the prophecy of some dude alive during the 1500's French Renaissance!

There, I said it! Waiting...waiting...for the phone calls.... Wait, let me put my phone on voice mail for a sec.

There, now let me explain. I am not a follower. I have always believed that my brain is a pretty good one & I trust it to carry me forward to make the right decisions. I never buy the latest gadget just because everyone else does and my motto has always been, "I'll believe it when I see it." Now that does not mean that I do not have faith, nor does it mean that I am an atheist. It just means that I refuse to listen to a bunch of different interpretations of a future event and assume it will turn out as predicted. That being said, I awoke one day last week and thought it very strange that someone with this much confidence and independent thought would be afraid to admit to growing old, or even be embarrassed by the fact. Why should I be?

Maybe a little background.... For the past 37 years, I have been constantly reminded of my mortality. At the age of 13 I was diagnosed with juvenile (type 1, insulin dependent) diabetes. My older brother had already been handed that doomed diagnosis 13 years earlier at the age of 11. My family ( and rightly so) thought they were on a target list. My parents, especially my father, did not take it very well. Needless to say I, like my brother, embarked on a life of being watched, denied, guarded, told what and what not to eat, poked and prodded, and preached to repeatedly on the dangers of anything less than perfect control. And that my friends, was just at home.

On the outside, Doctors repeatedly told me the same but added, don't drink, don't smoke, be careful so you don't get hurt and develop infections, no strange food and by all means do not get pregnant without perfect blood sugar control(I even had one doctor tell me once- "never have children"). To add insult to injury, Doctors explained to me that even if I followed all the rules to perfection, "this, this and this" will happen to your body anyway. In other words, old age will come early.

A person can only endure so many negatives in a lifetime so I instigated what any normal teenager in their right mind would do - a rebellion! Even though I stayed pretty healthy I insisted on enjoying life and not denying myself as much as "they" wanted me to. My older brother died at the very young age of 31 as a result of, you guessed it, complications from diabetes. His death only drove home my fragile mortality and I developed a "screw it I'm gonna die anyway" attitude. I did not become suicidal, I just began to love life & treat each day like it would be my last. It never crossed my mind that I would live past the age of 40 much less 50! I suppose that is why I have always resisted the idea of celebrating old age-to me insisting on being peter pan kept the early sickness, and my ultimate end at bay.

(Even though you didn't ask for a long story...you got one anyway dammit!)

This year I will be 48 and I have given birth to four beautiful babies, three in perfect health and one angelic little girl (RIP 7/1999) with multiple birth defects (NOT caused by the diabetes). In addition, I have traveled, earned several degrees, loved, cried, had my heart broken but healed and loved again, eaten dessert, enjoyed red wine, made many mistakes (sigh) and my body shows all the scars.

THIS is why I awoke that one day last week

and suddenly decided that in two years

when I turn 50 - I WANT ONE BIG-ASS BIRTHDAY PARTY. (Instructions to follow) :-)

This is sooo very powerful!

2010-08-01T00:06:00.000-05:00

Please take a moment to read this. It is sooo very powerful.

I am....

Date Nite!!

2010-07-30T18:26:00.000-05:00

Ok guys and gals, it is date night again for the grown-ups. My baby and I are meeting up with some friends for drinks, then heading to the theatre to watch "Dinner For Schmucks" Hopefully, I will refrain from getting too toasted and can manage to write a review tonight.
Ok, I know, you are thinking to yourself, "I will not hold my breath." Alright smarty-pants, I will at least have one ready and posted tomorrow morning!

Just remember! Peace!

Conflicts

2010-07-29T12:36:00.000-05:00

I love writing...but sometimes life gets in the way. Don't get me wrong, I love my life and everyone in it. But at the same time, there are so many ideas running wild in my head and no time to get them all on paper. I need to finish a short story by tomorrow and am two days behind on articles but work, kid schedules and housework keep throwing up detour signs in front of me.
Oh but I am so very blessed to be busy. My partner and I sometimes stop to reflect on what we would do if things came to a full stop. We would probably just wither up and die. So, I suppose I should just count all my blessings and tell all those thoughts and stories in my head to calm down, "I will get to you tomorrow!"
Just like those darn lesions in my brain- go back to sleep!

Peace--

More Ghost...

2010-07-26T23:27:00.000-05:00

My illness was too much for you, well no I guess I should say my illness was what brought you down. There I go again, taking the blame as I always do.
You hurt all of us in the effort to torture yourself. Those multiple episodes of self flagellation effected more than your phyiscal body. Maybe it is easier to ask "which came first, the chicken or the egg?" Maybe if you had been stronger?
It doesn't matter anymore....there is no one left to blame but me. You are gone. But even so , I torment myself daily to get rid of your ghost. Maybe I am no different eh?
After all......I am the spitting image.