These Broken Vases | Finding Beauty in Unexpected Places

Opportunities Lost

2012-05-25T12:01:00.000-05:00

I am linking up with Gypsy Mama for 5 Minute Friday, where you write for 5 minutes, no editing, no over-thinking, you just write! What you get is what you get!

Theme: Opportunity

I wonder how often opportunities come my way and I simply let them pass by because I am too busy, or too stressed, or too concerned with me.

Opportunities to reach out to someone that is need. Sometimes a smile is all I need to offer, or a listening ear, or companionship, just being there.

Opportunities to make memories with my children. Like getting down on the floor to play, getting them dancing, or telling them stories (instead I am too busy, especially if there is a computer around).

Opportunities to connect with my husband. Taking time to really ask him questions, to listen to what is going on in his heart. Instead, I can treat him like a roommate.

Opportunities to do the things I enjoy. Like going o a Zumba class, or go out for a bike ride, or really make time to write.

Opportunities to be a light to a world that is dark and where pain and hurt are common. I can wallow in my own struggles and not look past me.

What about you, do you miss any opportunities?

Messages from Moms

2012-05-25T09:07:00.000-05:00

I am doing a 2 part guest blog over at Diving for Pearls. I met Katie through my friend Jolene Philo who directed me to Katie's incredible ministry helping churches reach out to children with special needs. If you are not familiar with Key Ministry: a church for every child, I suggest you check them out. The Children's Ministry Consultant from our church denomination recently attended one of their trainings and she said the time was incredible valuable and she feel better equipped as a ministry consultant.

Here is a snippet:

Three little bright-eyed girls hold my mother’s heart. They are gifts, treasured and precious lives entrusted to me. They love their bows and dresses, pinks and purples, dolls and castles. They play together, giggle, and hug. Yet, each of them is unique. If you were to come to my house, you would discover just how different they are from each other. Somehow, they fit together so well; they are perfect for each other; they are sisters.

Ellie is my almost-seven year old. She is my drama queen and creativeness pours out of her easily. She is advanced for her age at school, and next year she will most likely be joining that talented and gifted program. Then there is Nina, my other six year old. She joined our family through international adoption before she turned 4 years old. At the time, her development was that of an infant, but with the love and support of a family she is now an average Kindergartner and we are astonished at how much she has accomplished in life. Due to her background, Nina struggles with some mental health issues, some we hope she will overcome as she continues to grow, and some that will be a part of her life. Nina also has Cerebral Palsy and she faces the challenges that come from her disability. And there is my rascal, Nichole. She is four years old and she has Down syndrome. She is the reason we chose to adopt Nina. She changed our hearts forever, teaching us about what really matters in life and re-establishing our priorities.

To keep reading, click here.

If you missed it, I also wrote an article for SpecialNeeds.com and you can read that article HERE.

I Need Her

2012-05-24T09:00:00.000-05:00

It is 2:00 am when the cell phone vibrates under my pillow reminding me to get up. In a swift motion I swing my legs around and glide out of bed, barely moving the covers. My husband sleeps soundly and so does my one-week-old baby, Nichole, who sleeps propped up in her car seat in our room. I pause at the door and stare at her small shadow. Slowly I turn and exit the room, closing the bedroom door behind me. It is time.

Across the hall from my room, I lock myself in the bathroom. I sit on the cold tile floor and pull the blue Medela breast pump from under the sink. The bottles, cups, and tubes are ready, waiting for me. I am full of milk and ready to relieve some of the pressure.

I plug myself to the milking machine, the rhythmic swishing begins, and within seconds, the floodgates are open. A steady stream that never fails every time I am attached to the pump.

Why? Why?

Why!!!

Why does it have to be my baby? Why do I have to be the mother of a child with Down syndrome? Why!

It never fails. Every time the pump is to my breast I cry and grieve over Nichole's diagnosis. During the day, I have enough distractions to keep me from giving in and losing myself in despair. But at night, at night I can cry as much as I want. Everyone is sleeping. Nobody knows.

***

My article I Need Her was published today at SpecialNeeds.com. CLICK HERE to continue reading.

Regrets of the Dying and What We Can Learn from People With Disabilities

2012-05-23T13:54:00.000-05:00

At the end of our lives, we will all look back and evaluate our lives, what will we regret? I recently read an on-line article titled “Top5 regrets of the dying.”

Australian nurse, Bronnie Ware, spent several years caring for patients on their last 12 weeks of life. During those last days, patients shared with her the regrets they had. Bronnie began to document her patients epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai. Her blog quickly became popular leading to her book titled “Top 5 Regrets of theDying.”

Here are Ware’s findings:

I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
I wish that I had let myself be happier.

I find it interesting that we do not see, “I wish I would have made more money,” “I wish I would have been smarter,” “I wish I would have had a better job,” “I wish I would have lived alone and independently most of my life.”

The truth is, that when we look at individuals with special needs we assume they have less to contribute to society, or that the quality of their life is inferior if their IQ is lower and they work bagging groceries at a store. However, it appears that at the end of life, those things really do not matter. If we look at every regret, we can see how we could learn to live, and to live fully, from watching people with disabilities do life.

People with disabilities live life to their true self. Have you ever been around people with Down syndrome? Did you feel a tangible type of joy? Did you recognize that they are true to themselves and their hearts have room to accept all people?
Have you seen the man with an intellectual disability working at the local grocery store? Yes, he works hard, but do you notice the smile he offers as he places your bags back in the grocery cart? He does not live life for work, but rather works for the enjoyment of doing something for someone else and to make a little bit of money so he can pay his bills. Because he knows that life is about more than work.
Have you seen the adult daughter who gently places her head on her dad’s shoulder and whispers, “I live you dad.” And the love you see makes you wish you could have what they have?
Have you walked into a group home for adults with disabilities and marveled at the fun and the close friendships that they share? Did you wish you could participate in their spontaneous dance parties, or playing UNO, or seeing them share the frustrations of their own disabilities while their friends embrace them and offer unconditional love?
You won’t see only happiness when you are surrounded by people with disabilities, often times, you will see joy.

I have teachers in my own home, 2 little girls who teach me and show me what life is all about. Every day, every single day I see my daughter with Down syndrome enjoy life to the fullest, or my daughter with Cerebral Palsy who continues to improve her steps and announces she is going to practice and some day, she will be able to jump.

The joys and the fullness of life we live with thanks to them is a gift. People talk about children like my own as if they were a burden, but what burden is there when they show us what life is really all about? When we can learn about love, joy, peace and kindness from them.

People with intellectual disabilities have much to offer to society. I am convinced that if we all looked at them as human beings, as contributing members of society, if we took to heart the way they show us to live, the regrets on our last days would be vastly different.

Sources:

Guardian.co.uk

Bronnie Ware official site

Inspiration and Chai

Photo Credit

Copycat

2012-05-20T14:18:00.000-05:00

On Friday, we had some friends from St. Louis stop by and spend the night with us. We met because of our girls and their diagnosis of Down syndrome. The extra chromosome has brought along beautiful friendships!

Nichole loves her sister Ellie, whatever Ellie does, so does Nichole. She likes her sister, she plays with her sister. At school though, she does not really play with many of the other kids, but when Nichole saw Braska, she decided Braska was so cool she would copy her too. Nichole was a hoot. Everything Braska did, Nichole would do too. Braska's speech is incredible, I don't really know any other kid with Down syndrome that talks as well as Braska. The sweet thing is that Nichole was repeating every word Braska said, maybe not clearly, but she was trying hard! Did Nichole recognize that Braska has Down syndrome too? I don't know.

Here is a little video of Braska being a cheerleader and Nichole is being a copycat. Pay close attention to Braska's facial expressions and mannerisms, because you will see Nichole doing whatever Braska does. Besides you also get to see 2 adorable little girls!