The "Truth" and growing with it.

I'm glad God has a Green Thumb.

2011-06-23T08:07:00.000-07:00

This past Sunday, I had decided to go with my husband to the swap meet. Typically on Sunday mornings I'm at church 11am with the boys. But I thought it would be nice for us to go as a family to the swap meet. I let my husband sleep a bit in the morning till 11:30am, since he gets home from work about 2 am. While I was waiting for him to get up after several attempts, I was getting anxious because I could've been at mass. I find it a little bit harder to go to Sunday evening mass, with dinner needing to be prepared, and the hour fasting before mass. On the other hand I like going the later mass because I get to see more of my friends. Anyway, as I was waiting for him to get up the kids were already outside playing in the yard. So I decided to tend to the flower pot next to my door. When I first got this plant it bloomed immensely with burgundy petals, but now all the flowers died. I was concerned because I really wanted to keep some flowers from dying which is an obstacle for me; I was not born with a green thumb. I've been watering my plants regularly, and got all excited when I saw that there was some new buds forming. So here I was thinking about mass and I realized that I was pruning the plant. All the stems that were dead were cut off. Each stem that previously had a flower were cut back to were a new bud was forming. I remembered my mom telling me that plants need to be cut back so that the water and nutrients would reach the parts that needed them to sprout. While the dead parts were just dead ends not needing those nutrients, but could over take the living stems. Otherwise the plant would not continue to blossom as it was intended. Then I had a revelation. WOW! I'm also a plant. My mind started to wonder; thinking of scripture, where it talks about God pruning us.

I am the true vine, and my father is the vinegrower. He removes every branch in me that bears no fruit. Every branch that bears fruit he prunes to make it bear more fruit. You have already been cleansed by the word I have spoken to you. Abide in me as I abide in you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me. Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing.

-John 15:1-5

As I clipped away the dead stems, I thought about how God clips away the dead parts in me, how He rids me of things that make me unholy. Like anger, resentment, being impatient, not loving others as I should. I need to shed the bad emotions, thoughts, actions that can lead me away from Him, and focus on Him and His love (the water). If I don't feed on Mass/Bible/Prayer ... etc (nutrients) my spirit won't be able to flourish as it was intended.. He does this tenderly; through life experiences and with such love. As I was pruning, I found myself in a state of peace and thanksgiving for all He has given me. I felt like he was preparing me to take on more responsibility in our church community. My husband arose and he was ready to go but wasn't rushing me to leave as he normally does. I finished my pruning and reflecting and we had a great couple of hours at the swap meet, and I made it to mass just fine. I'm grateful that He has a green thumb, and is at work in me even when I don't know it.

Husbands as Spiritual Leaders of the Family

2010-10-14T09:05:00.001-07:00

In my current faith journey, I have recently being tuning in to various shows on a catholic television station. These shows have had some wonderful points of consideration for me as I have been reflecting on some of the same topics myself. After reflection, I have realized that we, husbands and wives each have a special role. It’s all part of God’s plan for us. As I grown in my faith I see how my relationships are positively reflected. especially in my marriage. I’ve mentioned before that my husband is not a practicing catholic, yet I pray that one day he will be open to developing a relationship with God. Over the years, I have been the person who winds up handle everything, or voice my opinion when it was welcomed or not. I always seem to know the right way everything should be done. I’m now trying to be more supportive of my husband and allow him to be the head of our home. It’s not an easy task for anyone I think who has lived so long in the world, but does take some exercise. I can remember a time when people would refer to Ephesians 5:22-33; where it details the roles of a married couple. “A wife should obey her husband and the husband should care and love his wife, as Jesus loved his church.” Ignorantly, I would reason that my husband doesn’t love me as Jesus loved the church so I don’t have to obey him. (Gotta love the lies we believe sometimes). However, I do realize that if I want my husband to be the head of our home, maybe I can help him along by being more supportive of him and focusing on my duties as a Christian wife. Maybe he will then respond by taking on his one day with God’s help. Doug Barry, co-host “Life on the Rock,” was detailing how a priest helped him to discover his role as the 1^st line of defense for his family spiritually. I was amazed at this notion I had never thought of my husband in this sense. But, it’s so true; he is our protector. When my youngest doesn’t like my discipline (typically a stern ‘No’) he runs to day to protect him from mommy. When we recently had an earthquake, I was calling out for my husband. As humans, we already have these roles identified for us subconsciously. So really why would it be any different spiritually? Now when I pray for the protection of my family, I wonder how much stronger the prayers would be if they came from my husband, or from us as a couple. I’ve shared the notion of spiritual leader with my husband as well as his role in helping shape our boys spiritual future. He seems to be more open to the possible of one day being more active in church. This past weekend I was telling my husband how our oldest son, who is 9, doesn’t kneel erectly, slouches around, or wants to have a conversation. This really bugs me, I find it very disrespectful. He then asked my son if he needed to go to church with us so that in order to have my son behave more appropriately. I couldn’t believe my ears, and I felt my heart skip for joy. My husband might not be exactly where I wish he was at spiritual but he is listening to my concerns, and hopefully a seed will flourish in the future if God wills it.

We really do complement each other.

2010-10-14T09:03:00.001-07:00

I’ve been brought up to believe that women can do anything and everything that a man can do. Over the years, I found myself working in fields that are dominated by men. Being in the Naval Reserves was an exhilarating experience, yet raised the flag that I wasn’t exactly physically capable of doing everything a man can do. I found it hard to carry heavy chains around or complete a push up just like my male counter parts. But, I did have other skills that benefited my unit. In my current faith journey, I have recently been thinking about marriage and about the current political debates. After reflection, I have realized that we, men and women, are different and that’s ok. It’s all part of God’s plan for us. As I grown in my faith I see how my relationships are positively affected, especially in my marriage. I’ve mentioned before that my husband is not a practicing catholic, yet I pray that one day he will be open to developing a relationship with God. Over the years, I have been the person who winds up handling everything or voicing my opinion when it was welcomed or not. I always seem to know the right way everything should be done, at least in my opinion. (Haha) I haven’t been successful in the past about letting my husband lead us. I’m now trying to be more supportive of my husband’s role as head of our home. It’s not an easy task for me; I think it does take some exercise. After 13 years of marriage, I’ve appreciated that my husband’s easy going attitude, and spur of the moment activities are just what God had in mind for me. God knew that I needed someone who was more carefree to influence me because at times I’m so wound up. In the past, I had a plan for everything. Now, I’m working on putting God’s will above my own ambitions. My main focus in my faith and my marriage right now is leaving the planning and worrying up to God, while I live the life He intended me to have. My marriage is now at the point that we know each other so well, we are truly comfortable being ourselves and we will call the other out in a loving and truthful manner when needed. We also know each others weaknesses and are there for each other. My ability to multitask and know where every single item is in the house (ok 99% of everything), is a gift from God. My gift comes in pretty handy because my husband looses everything. On the contrary, my lack of measurements skills is met by my husband’s gift from God. The list goes on and on. I find it so amazing that God even thinks of the small stuff, like our personalities meshing, when He has so much more to care for. I’m blessed to have reached a point where I can look past some of my husband’s weaknesses and focus on his strengths; as I am sure he looks past mine. This I know is only possible through the Grace of God!

Happy Birthday Little Matthew

2010-08-03T16:52:00.000-07:00

I'm so blessed to have the family that I have and wish I could stop time so that my boys would not grow out of my arms. I miss rocking them to sleep, and cuddling with them. I miss watching their 1st milestones (although I wish the potty milestone would hurry up). They are such good boys filled with love and compassion and their own little corks that make my life full and never dull. I hope that I can guide them to be responsible men and that they know how much joy and happiness they give me daily. I am so thankful to Him for them, and my cool hubby who supports, cares, and loves us with such depth. I am filled with such love and happiness that my little "Maachew" turn our "us and the 'kid" into a family today, three years ago.

God's Grace

2010-08-03T16:47:00.000-07:00

I'm really proud of my husband, but grateful to God for his working in my husband. Today we went to Target to look at replacing seating for our patio swing. We were trying to figure a way to fix it while spending the least amount possible. Mortgage, bills, and food will leave little or nothing to spend on extras. But we are blessed to be able to pay our bills. As we were walking in the parking lot a gentleman was walking and seemed lost. He stopped me to inquire about getting downtown to St. Vincent de Paul. (It's a Catholic "shelter" for the homeless.) His question was how does a poor person get downtown from here, a suburb of San Diego. He didn't ask for money, just a question about how he could handle the situation. Good question I thought; I don't know. He told me that he and his family were kicked off the trolley. Typically when someone wants to get downtown they drive their cars, have someone else drive them, or they take mass transit (trolley/buses). So what can the people who have no car or money do to get to resources they need? I have often felt bad when I drive past a PERSON who is homeless and is asking for aid. I want to help; I'm just scared to help. I know that as a Christian I am called to help and would do so, not because I'm suppose to, but out of love and compassion. But there is something scary, about being a female alone often accompanied with my children. How would I defend myself if the situation turned ugly; how would I protect my children. I often feel convicted and think of when Jesus tells us that if we care for the poor we are caring for him as I'm driving past a homeless person. I'm not sharing this in an attempt to boast about myself, but to share my struggle with you about helping others, and to boast of God's goodness. My husband isn't aware of many teachings of Christ, nor is he practicing his faith. But as I was talking with the gentleman, my husband walked over. I wanted to help the man, but I knew my husband would have killed me if I offered to give him and his family a lift downtown. (Now I'm thinking about the Good Samaritan and how he went up and beyond his duty to help another..Oh I have so much growing to do.) I was trying to figure out how to help him, while not angering my husband. So when my husband walked over, I asked him for $15 to give the gentleman so he could buy tickets to get downtown. My husband handed over the money. I felt so proud of him, and honored by his selflessness in this case. My husband always ignores homeless people. (We never talk about it so I have no clue as to his thoughts on the matter.) My husband is a good man, who knows right from wrong, and is compassionate, yet he doesn't realize that God was working through him. As we parted from the man, he thanked us and blessed us in God's name. I then overheard a man, who was getting in the car across from where we were standing, ask the man.. “Can I also help you out? Can I buy you and your family something to eat?” I don't know what happened next but my heart leaped for joy as I witnessed God's grace. I felt convicted because here I am frustrated about not having money to fix a swing, and various other cosmetic things around the house and this gentleman is trying to care for his family. God is Good! Amen!

NEWSBOYS

2010-06-17T17:00:00.000-07:00

I can't wait for their new CD to drop July 13th. I saw there song, "Born Again," a while ago and feel in love with it. I must be in good company because it's on KLove all the time and is the #1 for over 7 weeks now. I am grateful to my AWESOME God for giving talents to Christian musicians, because their songs fill my soul with joy and help me to fight the good fight. The "Born Again" Video really makes you think. You go Guys!!

Check out this link if you are interested in going to Baja to Build homes with Newsboys.
http://www.homes4baja.com/

Who Loves You?

2010-06-17T16:52:00.000-07:00

Over the past couple of weeks, when ever I ask my 2 year old who loves him, he tells me "Jesus." the 1st time I heard that my heart leaped for joy. I owe this blessing to the Bible Study program I was attending. They currently will teach babies from 6 weeks old to 5 years old while their mothers, grandmothers, or aunties attend a woman's bible study. In the classrooms for the children they sing to then, read to them and play games that relate to God. They also teach them a simple version of what the moms are learning. I'm a bit jealous because my church doesn't offer such classes. There are very few things that I can do with my children tagging along in my parish. I'm going to pray about this and maybe God will grant me some strength or wisdom to do something about it. Regardless of place, my son is learning that Jesus loves him and that's very important to me.

A Community

2010-06-16T17:30:00.000-07:00

Here's a funny thing that happened at mass the other day. I was sitting in the pew with my two sons alone. Most of the time I wind up sitting with friends, and they help me out with the 2 1/2 year old. But this week there was no one. We always sit in the same area near St. Joseph. I like it there and have become very comfortable there. Anyway, my older son who is 8 sometimes has a hard time kneeling. He slouches around and it bothers me, it's a lack of respect in my opinion. I'm always asking him to get up and kneel proper. This one Sunday, of course the baby fell asleep in my arms, so I couldn't really lean over and talk to my older son. All of a sudden, I see a hand from behind us poke my son and told him to knee erectly. It was "Tommy" one of parish members who is very active in our parish. He also teaches CCD for the High School grades and many of the teenage boys look up to him, and respect him; even though, he may come off stern. I looked at him and smiled. I was so happy that there was someone there to help me. Oh boy, my son knelt properly the whole mass. It really gave me something to think about. Where is our church community? Where most people don't associate with each other aside form giving each other "Peace." I've heard and witnessed how woman can be instrumental in their vocations as mothers to teach the Good News. I have been part of a mom's group from another parish; I'm wondering if it's easier for women to share their faith experiences with each other, than for men to share. I've observed cases where there is no adult male at home to model faith for young boys. Even in my own case, with out a practicing father, how will this affect my children's faith journey? On the other hand, how does not having a father strong in faith affect young girls also? I try hard and I know I could be doing more. How I wish my domestic church was in order. But the responsibility for helping my children develop their own relationships with God, currently lands on me. I know that God will be there and is there to guide them along the way. But I don't think having a tangible male around for them to probe could hurt either. I know I've taken this from the women's point of view, and I'm sure the situation could be the same for men with young daughters. Yet, when I look at the make up of the catechist at our parish I noticed that it is mostly women who heed the call to teach the faith (in regards to lay people). I'm curious to know what you all think and what has worked where you are located.

Lisa Hendey at Pauline

2010-04-30T15:59:00.000-07:00

Hi all,
I wanted to let you know that Lisa Hendey is coming to San Diego. She will be at Pauline Bookstore May 7, 2010 at 6:30 pm. She is the author of The Handbook for Catholic Moms and the founder of catholicmom.com. For more info check out this link here: http://new.catholicmom.com/2010/04/26/catholic-mom-mothers-day-tour-in-southern-california/

Pauline Bookstore is run by the Daughters of St. Paul and is located at:
5945 Balboa Ave.
San Diego, CA92111
Phone: 858-565-9181
Fax: 858-565-9295
E-mail: sandiego@paulinemedia.com
Regular Hours:
Monday-Friday 10:00 a.m. - 6:00 p.m. and Saturday 10:00 a.m. - 5:30 p.m.
Or you can check out their web site: http://www.pauline.org/Home/tabid/38/Default.aspx
I love Lisa's book and will share more about my thoughts later. Pauline Bookstore is a great resource for Catholic material. I often spend money then I intend cause they have such great things, especially for teaching child the faith. I've used all the materials I bought from them when teaching my 3rd grade CCD class.
It's not often we get a chance to meet with other catholic moms from our community. So, I hope to see you there!

Living with a Non Practicing Catholic

2010-04-28T06:52:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how confused I get when someone asks me if my husband is Christian. I can say that he is catholic, but a non practicing one. He was baptized as a baby, had his 1st Holy Communion, and we were married in church. He believes in God, and Jesus as His Son. But that's about it. In the past I wouldn't attend church because I didn't want to go alone. I didn't know anyone there. (Even though I wasn't alone, I know that now.) Most importantly, I wanted to attend as a family. It was just more special when he would come, until I saw how painfully bored he was. He wasn't getting anything from the Mass, so why force him. I stopped going for a while, it was hard for me to go with a little one. I stopped waiting for my husband to come with me. Before this past year, I would like to go to Church because of the sense of peace I had when I left. When I didn't go something felt off in my life. Now I go because I have a desire to spend time with my catholic family; especially God. Mass has become so much more for me now that I understand why we do certain things during Mass. I also go each Sunday to show my Heavenly Father, that I am one of his children and welcome the opportunity to serve Him. For my children, I have explained as best I can that we can spend at least an hour of our week with God in giving Him thanks for that He has done for us. I don’t want to give them to many details yet, so that they aren’t confused. As I have made wonderful friends over the years at church, I'm seldom alone with the boys in the pew. I have also come to recognize other families there, who I have never spoken a word to other than "Peace be with you." In a strange way they have provided me with a sense of comfort, as we always sit in the same few pews each week. Yet there are times when I see families together in church and yearn for my husband's presence.

It was not long ago that I saw an older couple walk up hand and hand for communion and thought that odd. Now, I see the beauty in it. God is the center of their life as a couple, just as a marriage should be. There is a unity and a love between the couple so strong that it calls out, God. I would love for such a representation of God between my husband and myself. As I have grown more in faith, he has gone the other direction. It seems that I’m always doing something church related. I have gone from listening Hip-Hop to Christian music. My whole perspective has changed. I think he is concerned about me, but he just doesn’t understand. He says I have changed. I question him on whether I have changed for the worse or the better, but he doesn’t respond. I see a huge blessing in walking with God. I believe that I have become more patient at home especially with him, I live under less stress, and I’m more often than not in a good mood. The hard part for me has been to censor myself around the house, as I am trying to have consideration for him. I know it's not my husband’s time to be in a relationship with God, and that his time will come. One day he will hear and follow God. I am so looking forward to the day when we can be one, actively passing our faith to our children. In my Bible Study class which is interdenominational, some women have mentioned that they grew up as believers they have never lived without a relationship with God. I wish this will come to bare with my children. But, I also know from the other side of the fence since, coming to faith, how sweet it is to walking with God, and there is no way I can go back to a life that excludes God.

John 15:19 “As it is you don not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world.”

I know for certain that God has chosen me from the beginning of my existence to be with him. I just wish my husband would know he was chosen too.

Matt Maher - Alive Again

2010-04-24T07:23:00.000-07:00

I love this song it speaks to my spirit!

Not Alone, for He God has always been with me.

2010-04-22T21:54:00.000-07:00

Just a couple of days ago I reconnected with some special people in my life, who I don't really know. Sounds strange but I have three half-brothers who I did not grow up with. In my family, it has always been my mom, my "dad" and me. Things were a bit dysfunctional, not that I know many families who did not have crosses to bear. I always wondered about the three boys, because I was always alone, and felt it. I would often pray at night for deliverance. And as I right this the tears flow, because I know now how much my Lord has protected me and how much he has cared for me over the years without me knowing. He has answered the prayers of a young confused girl. He has guided my every decision, and loved me from the start. I am so grateful to Him. I hear him telling me "see how much I love you; see how you were never alone." I've since underlined John 16: 32 "You will leave me all alone. Yet, I am not alone, for my Father is with Me." I did have some resentment when I was growing up, but God is working his healing power in me today. I can say with out a doubt that I do not regret anything that has happened in the childhood, because it has brought me to where I am today. My dear friend, who I trust and speaks with the Spirit, told me recently that tears are proof of healing. God has given me a HUGE gift by having me reconnect with them. I don't know what exactly will come from our reconnection, but I know that God is with me. It brings to my mind Romans 8:31 "What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?" I also know for certain that although, I have free will, I have no choice. I was His from the beginning and always will be. John 15:19 "If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world." What more can I say but am in Awe and feel humble to my Heavenly Father.

Praise be to God!

Traveling with God

2010-04-09T09:49:00.000-07:00

Recently, I return home from New York from visiting with my husbands relatives. We had a wonderful and busy time reconnecting with family during Holy Week. I was surprised at how different I felt. I wasn’t feeling God as strongly as I do when I am home in San Diego. I had planned to read the Word and pray daily, but was only able to pray a couple of minutes here and there. I attended mass on Palm Sunday with my sister-in-law and our combined 4 boys. It was like the church I remembered as a child, where barely anyone sang except for the cantor. I got the impression that people are spoon feed worship. This notion really bothered me and I spoke to my sister-in law about it. She said that we were in the overflow area (which mostly consisted of “holiday Catholics”) and that the faithful who attend every week are more active participants. But, I can remember being part of the “holiday Catholics” it seemed like everyone I knew only went to church on holy days. I currently feel more involved in my home parish. I have a deeper understanding of the church and my responsibility and desire to praise and worship God. I am so grateful for this. On Easter Sunday, I went to church with my son and we were sent again to the overflow celebration. This time, as I explained to my son about where we were going, I prayed that the “holiday Catholics” would hear God’s call and become active Catholics. I’m guilty of feeling bugged by the inconvenience of all these people attending church on a holy day, but I deeply desire that they too will come to a lasting relationship with our Creator and Savior. During Mass, I worshiped, prayed just as I would as if I was home with little regard for anyone else but God. What a surprise I as poured out my love for him, his presence returned to me. After Mass, my son and I walked home and listened to the birds, looked at the pretty flowers, and talked. I felt God’s presence even stronger. I was eager to return back home to attend my parish. I missed worshiping with my familiar family. Even if I don’t know most people by name, I see them every week and we all sit in the same spot. (All my friends know that I sit in front of St. Joseph at 11 am mass if they want to find me.) Upon reflection, it wasn’t that God wasn’t with me in New York, I know he is with me regardless if I feel him or not. The difference was me. I was busy there and didn’t make much time for God. At home I try hard to put God in the center of my daily life, now when I travel I know I need to do the same.

My Teaching Application for Catholic Schools

2010-03-23T12:25:00.000-07:00

I'm so excited and nervous, because I have my application ready to submit to teach in the San Diego Diocese. I will bring in tomorrow where I can at the least process in as a substitute teacher. What a blessing it will be for me to teach history and teach the faith. The Diocese is having a job fair but I will be in NY. Are you kidding? So, the rush to submit my application was on. While preparing my application, I needed my Baptism certificate, which I didn't have on hand. I called the church in Rockaway NY on Thursday. YES! They found my records and mailed it out within a half hour. I went up to LA for REC on Friday and didn't return home until Sunday. I checked the mail and I had indeed gotten it. Wow, that was fast. My certificate got here Saturday. What is that, like a day and a half? (From NY to San Diego) I am still in amazement over it because it came via US Postal Service. Thank you God! My last hurdle was a letter of recommendation from my parish, which my Deacon took care of in an hour or so. (I am very grateful to him as well). Well, okay. Everything turned around quickly and I'm all prepared for tomorrow.

I know that I haven't found a job as a history teacher for a reason, it wasn't God's will. He has a plan for me; although, sometimes I wish I new what it is. I think this year I have been given such a HUGE blessing to learn the Word and have fellowship with other Catholic moms both virtually and in a group format. I'm lucky and grateful to God, that I have had the time to work on my relationship with Him. Talk about calling me out. As look back over the years, I now know He has always been there with me. My relationship is still a work in progress as is any relationship, but at least I am trying hard to shed my old ways and live my life as a child of God. Maybe this year has been a preparation for me to go out and teach as that child. Who knows..only God does.

My L.A. Religious Education Congress 2010 Experience

2010-03-22T12:14:00.000-07:00

     AWESOME!! God is not just good, He is AWESOME!! I just got back from a conference with over 40,000 catechists. During this time, I attended 5 workshops that have given me much to think about as a child of God, and as teacher of the Catholic faith. This weekend was so needed and so inspirational.
     I had a very bad experience before I left, where I was battling between conviction and condemnation. Something was weighing heavy on me that consumed most of my thoughts and emotions. I felt, so confused as to whether this was from God or from the thief, who I now hate with a passion. I couldn’t wait to leave for congress where I would be surrounding with other believers who could guide me through this. I was in a state of anxiety. I couldn't wait to get on the road. When I picked up my friend and we talked I did feel a lot better. By Friday evening, we arrived to the hotel and met up with some friends. Things were getting brighter we had a chance to catch up and talk about our faith. I explained to them what I was going through and they confirmed what my friend and I had concluded in the car ride up. They laid hands on me and prayed (which was a 1st for me). I sat there quietly and heard 4 things (but right now can only recall three). "Love, Aspire, and Rebuke Satan." I am extremely lucky and blessed to have such knowledgeable and spiritual friends. Afterwards my heart felt so much lighter. My eyes were beginning to water up. I was told that I was healing. I am so grateful to them for their love and help. I was full of energy and love.

     On Saturday I attended a Celtic Mass with my "friends", but we were surrounded by approximately 5-6,000 brothers and sisters. I enjoyed the Mass, but it was a bit different than what I am use to at my home parish. Saturday night after we ate we went to Prayer Jam. What an experience! There were several artists there from Spiritandsong.com. I saw Matt Maher, Jesse Tom, and others. When we went to the venue, It was packed, I mean packed. We opened the door and you could feel the body heat from inside. We found a place to stand in the back. The music was moving. I felt such and outflow of love. When Matt sang his latest hit "Alive Again," the room exploded in praise and worship. As I sang I felt my heart pouring out to God. I can now say with confidence that I am in love with my God! I am filled with love, joy, and peace. What an amazing feeling, what a merciful God we have.

     On Sunday, I was lucky to attend two really great workshops. Matthew Kelly posed the question: "Who do you say I am?"- Jesus asked Peter. However, we need to think who we say Jesus is to us individually. My other workshop was given by Lisa Hendey. I was so excited to see that she was going to be a speaker. I bought her book, "Catholic Mom." I learned from Lisa, how wonderful and easy it can be for us to use media in our local ministries. Plus, how fun it will be to try out new tech gadgets. I also found about a great catholic site called sqpn.com.  I am so grateful to God for allowing me to experience His abundant love daily. And especially through fellowship of my brothers and sisters at L.A. Religious Education Congress 2010.

Spiritual Warfare.. Who Knew?

2010-03-09T21:38:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to blog, but it seems that when I actually have time, it's time for bed. Someone is either on the computer/TV or I'm busy with household things. However, I have been reading, praying, and studying the Word. I have come to learn about Spiritual Warfare. I felt it first which I touched on in other post but didn't know it was common or that it had a name. It was just an overwhelming feeling I got of fear, or stress. I didn't realize that this stuff is going on. You can be so happy and then BAM! A thought enters your mind that causes you to stop in your tracks. You begin to feel upset. You think, "what is going on?" You suddenly don't feel peaceful. You try to fight off these feelings. You feel a divide between your heart/soul/spirit and your mind. These days I've been trying to read, sing, or pray as much as possible because I need all the ammo I can get, to kick the evil one out of my life/mind (at least when ever he pops his head up).

I'm enjoying reading Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyers. AWESOME BOOK!!!! I'm lucky that since I've switched from cable to satellite I get Christian channels now. Which flipping through the channels makes me laugh sometimes from my own discomfort. I've been following Joyce for a couple of weeks now. I was a little skeptical, but she talks and I hear truth. The Truth that only can come via the Spirit. It's amazing how I can just be thinking of something that day, like a question of concern that I've presented to God and here she is with my answer. Gotta love Him, he's pretty funny that way. She makes so much sense and the info she covers is so relevant to me. I'm also reading The Power of the Praying Parent, which also details how we need to be strong in the Word so that we can fight off evil, especial for our children. Through prayer we are given power, because we can ask God for something in the name of Jesus Christ. In John 16:23-24 it states,

On that day you will ask nothing of me. Very truly, I tell you, if you ask anything of the Father in my name, he will give it to you. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be complete.

With the help of God how can we lose? The Word helps us to recognize the darkness and defend ourselves. From what I have been reading, the most powerful prayer is that where we quote Scripture. Plus knowing the Word helps us to know what is from God and what is not from Him. I wonder how many of you knew about Spiritual Warfare before you started working on your relationship with God?

How do I know, I love God?

2010-02-28T14:06:00.000-08:00

     I’ve been thinking a lot about how I know if I love God. I know I don't love him as much as he loves me. The 1st commandment is “You shall Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind." I have an utmost respect and sense of gratitude, but love I'm not sure about. Do I love him more than my husband? Do I love him more than my children; I can't even imagine that as possible. But I can see how much he loves me, as one of his children. You love your children no matter what. You want to keep them close by you. You want them to make the right choices in life but know you have to let them make mistakes also so that they can grow. If they mess up, you are there to hold their hand along the way. I have no doubt about His love for me. Maybe it is harder for me to realize my love for Him because he isn't physically here, it must be a different type of love you feel for him.
     John's Gospel explains that we can show our love for Him by obedience. I'm trying hard to be obedient; to be Christ like. Some means of obedience is a no brainier for me. I don't lie, bear false witness, etc. There are other aspects of obedience I need to work on more. I'm currently reading the bible to acquire more knowledge, in addition to participating in a Bible Study. But being Christlike? This thought threw me for a loop. I'm a mom, I can't just leave everything to go and spread His Word. But, I can be Christlike in the means of putting others before myself. As a mom this sometimes isn't a choice you can make. But the next time my son wants me to see his new Lego creation; I can stop and pay attention whole heartedly. Or when I'm tired and don't feel like cleaning up their toys for the thousandth time, I can do it with joy. I am also in the best position to teach my children about God. I can help them to become disciples or at the very least plant seeds. With the grace of God they will develop their own relationship with Him.

     I've joked around with a couple of friends that I might be courting God, reading and taking in as much as I can. It’s like when you start dating someone you want to spend as much time with them as possible. I can feel when he is with me; the joy, and the peace. I crave for him to be with me always, because there are days when I don't feel him as strongly. I also try my best to put him 1st. I wonder how others know they love God. Was it instant for them?

In looking at the CCC, I have come upon a clue. CCC # 2290 states:

When God reveals Himself and calls him, man cannot fully respond to the divine love by his own powers. He must hope that God will give him the capacity to love Him in return and act in conformity with the commandments of charity. Hope is the confident expectation of divine blessing and the beatific vision of God; it is also the fear of offending God's love of incurring punishment.

So maybe I'm on the right path, but only through the grace of God will I find that I am in love with Him. Since this love is beyond the physical world, it must take super natural form that only He can produce in me.

Simply, Thank you GOD!

2010-02-20T16:53:00.000-08:00

Fear can be an amazing feeling. This past week, I've had to face one of my fears. I have mentioned before about my on going battle with trying to control our finances. One way we have been blessed, amongst many ways, has been my husband's willingness to go back to school. Prior to the economic downtown, my husband's income was bountiful. We had no issues with paying the bills, or the extras. Yet, our current situation continues to rock us at our core. My husband is stressed because he is trying his hardest to provide for us. This past August, I was praying about what we should do, because paying our mortgage had become the toughest ever. I asked for God's guidance. God revealed to me school. I thought it was I who should return since I wasn't qualified for current teaching positions. Maybe if I could get my teacher's license in Math, or P.E. I had spoken to my husband many times before about his return to school but he wasn't opened to it. School wasn't his thing. I waited a couple of days as I thought about it. I mentioned school to my husband as an option. This time, he was receptive to the idea. He decided that he would go to college.

Thank you GOD!

As a result, we have been able to hold on for a bit longer financial because he was entitled to the GI Bill. I loved this idea the more I thought about it. Him going to school would mean that he would have more options in the future. I miss him not being at home at night with us and feel bad for him when he has to work the holidays. His return to school also meant that it would best for me to stay home with the kids.

Thank you GOD!

I have been able to spend needed hours carrying for our two boys. One still needs mom around because he isn't potty trained yet. My older son needs me to help him with his school work. This year we have seen a big disparity in his abilities to complete his homework and have sought out the schools help to find the cause.

Thank you GOD!

While my oldest is in school I have found time for God. I started attending a Mom's Group. The fellowship and love is unmatched. I have grown to love these women. They have accepted me even though my faith is so new and needs so much nurturing. This is LOVE...this is GOD. We are reflecting on Gospels, our weeks, our hardships, our praises, our families, and GOD. Recently we began reading Proverbs. This year I also started attending and International Bible Study, which is interdenominational. The Word is the Word regardless of how you worship Him. What an amazing experience. I can not even begin to tell you how much I have learned in just studying one Gospel, and we aren't even finished yet. I can't get enough. I read and read and still want to read some more.

Thank you GOD!

This week started off strong. I felt his presence; I had peace, and joy in my heart. Mid week fear almost consumed me. My husband informed me that there would be change in our future income. This sent me in a tail spin and led to a battle between my spirit and my body. I knew that we would be provided for and repeated this over and over to my self. But fear kept saying... what if? what if? The house..Here we go again? Will we lose our house? I didn't feel Him with me. What was I up against? Control (..again), fear? I read the Word, I prayed. I listened. I was trying to grasp for God, for his peace, and reassurance. NOTHING! I wanted to go to bed early because I was physically drained. Right before going to bed I had re-read Proverbs 1-3. There was a little poke of hope, when I read these chapters but I had underlined a couple of verse that stood out especially:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own insight."-Proverbs 3:5

"The Lord's curse is on the house of the wicked, but he blesses the abode of the righteous."

-Proverbs 3:33.

What would bring back in his presence and sooth my spirit? Since my husband isn't at home by the time I go to sleep I have to watch TV. I turned to the new Christian channels I got. I tuned into Joyce Meyers half way through the program and she was discussing how to break bad habits and form good ones. She then quoted Proverb 3:5. Trusting God. That is what I was facing. What are the chances? There are no chances with God! Wow! Thank you God that is what I needed. I needed to see something concrete. Although I have faith in You, my mind would not rest with my soul. It took me about half a day to feel joy again and it's about day two and He is here with me again.
Without reading the Word and believing... I would not have been prepared to battle my fears.

Ash Wednesday- The beginning of Lent

2010-02-17T11:18:00.000-08:00

YAY!! Today's Ash Wednesday and I am excited to begin Lent. I wonder how you all are going to kick off your baptism renewal. I want to read the bible with my boys everyday. I am planning to give up Coke. (It's kinda a big thing for me). I might designate a jar for money that I would have normally spent on a coke and later give it to the poor. In general Lent hasn't affected me to much. I don't eat meat or chicken anyway. But I was reading this website that was really cool. I'm gonna try to link it here so you can check it out yourselves. http://www.catholic.org/clife/lent/
I learned that you aren't suppose to eat soups or gravies that have a meat stock. Makes sense but it's one of those things I didn't think much about. I'm glad that I can go to my parish and have a shrimp dinner on Friday nights, cause the Knights do an awesome job. Plus there is a chance for family fellowship. Most of all I'm excited because this year my heart is filled with dedication to truly reflect on what my faith is. I'm doing ok on my fast.. and I might even lose a couple of pounds (Bonus) I'm eager to get my ashes since it is an outward sign that I am walking with the Lord. It's not that I want to brag about it. But there is a strong sense of community. Like, yeah, I'm a believer! Maybe it'll spark some questions as to why we go around with ashes on our foreheads, and boy this year I'm ready to let them know why. Maybe I can plant a couple of seeds and hope that they will find their way to the truth.

So Happy Ash Wednesday and Have a great Lent!

P.S. I'm not about Fat Tuesday... My friend was right. Why would you celebrate an occasion that boasts of gluttony?

Control...Look Who's in Control Now.

2010-02-15T20:39:00.000-08:00

Control is a recent aspect of my personality that I am having such a hard time with. Giving it up to God is an easy thing to say, but doing it is a battle that I have been struggling with. The past year has taught many of us that no matter what we do; plan, pray, or worry, you are not in control. Things just happen, unexpected things. We can lose a job, a house, a friend, a great love, or even a family member. We can't stop them from happening, but we can grow from the experience. We sometimes needed to recognize what our needs are and what our desires are. What is worldly and what is spiritual reality.

Recently, our family has gone through a tough time financially alike many others. I have been trying hard to get hired as a history teacher for over 3 years, as my husband's income has decreased. Over the past couple of years, I have worried about where money will come from and how best to spend it. Our mortgage has been paid each month, yet some months we barely made it through. How much easier it would be if I could just find my ideal job, teaching. It hasn't happened yet. But something wonderful happened by the time I had my last teaching interview, I had began my spiritual growth. I prayed about the job, God knew how much I wanted it. Yet, by the time I found out that the school wasn't going to open yet, I was fine with not getting the job. I knew that God has something in store for me, where He needs me to be and if and when the time comes for me to work it will be for His benefit. Some can say that it wasn't meant to be, without any regard for God, but I know it wasn't His will, and it wasn't time for me. I've had to learn that I am not in control, He is. Coming to this conclusion required me to search for answers within myself.

Why must I feel that I am in control of my own destiny or life?

I've had to ask myself this on my way to realizing I am not in control. The best answer I can come up with is: I wasn't in control while I was a kid. I worried about the bills getting paid, my friends luck at having their parents spoil them..etc. I didn't have control then and was dependent on parents to care for me. I saw them work so hard, because they didn't have a college education. I wanted better for myself. I wanted to grow up and not worry about paying the bills. I didn't want to be rich, I wanted to be secure. If I worked hard then I would gain self-respect, financial freedom, and happiness. I have worked hard and done all the "right things" but have I been obedient and filled with love? Have I searched for worldly wealth or wealth in spiritual things? Have I given the deserved thanks and praise to God? Nope! I've instead I've spent my time worrying and stressing about things that I totally was not in control of.

If I am not in control, who is?

Our recent struggle to pay the bills correlated with perfect timing to my spiritual growth, how lucky am I. Reflecting over the years, I remembered that no matter how much we needed or for what ever reason, money somehow found it's way to us. For example, money is tight and my car needed new breaks, and a new tire... my husband happened to make a little extra that week at work. The more I recognized how much God provides for us the less stress I have become. The more I have fed on His Word the more comfort I have felt. For example, according to Matthew 6: 25-27:

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life not more important that food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"

Throughout the New Testament, Jesus tells us we are not alone, God knows our needs before we even ask. He is with us always, and will provide for us, but we have to meet him half way. I need to relinquish control and let God's will be done. This doesn't mean I should sit around and do nothing. But I do need to act according to His will.

Coming to this realization has been a blessing for me, and probably for my family as well. I am not as "cranky" anymore. I have spent more time appreciating life, laughing with my family and friends, and enjoying another day surrounded by beauty. There are some times when I feel the worry and stress trying to creep back into me; however, I am empowered by knowing we, as a family, will be taken care of. I now can make a conscious decision not to let them take hold of me, and I am again set free by the grace of God.

His calling ... I finally answered.

2010-02-11T13:24:00.000-08:00

How does One become a believer? Sure I believed in God, I also believed in His Son, Jesus. That is what I was taught to do by my Catholic Catechist Classes I attended as a child. But, there I was believing and everything was the same. I can recall a time when I would pray at night and speak to my grandfather who passed away when I was five. I would sleep with cross that was given to my mother from my grandfather's funeral under my pillow at night to keep me safe. I think it might have been a way for me to keep him with me even though he wasn't with me physically anymore. I went to church when I could as kid, until I hit my teens. Then my view of the priests changed and I didn't see them as the holy people I thought they were. (I didn't think they had human traits..they don't sin). Fast forward, I got married at church and moved to San Diego. I didn't know anyone here, I didn't know any churches I just lived my life, and would pray sometimes. Until, four years later when friends invited us to church with them on base. It was Christmas Eve Lutheran/Catholic service, the homily was about listening to the voice of God. I remember reflecting on that and then I "heard" you’re pregnant. We got up to sing Silent Night and I had tears in my eyes, which wasn't characteristic for me. I later told my husband about it and he said I was "%^#&ing crazy." I said ok and left it at that. Sure enough a couple of weeks later, I found out I was. Miracle #1! I conceived during Christmas week. Fast forward to Easter, I decided to go to church again. I went to a Catholic church in my city. During the homily, the priest spoke of listening to the voice of God. WHAT? Are you kidding me? I got it, God. You win. I'll listen. Miracle #2 The time came for my son to be baptized and I was given some type of theological material to consider. Wow, this is deep. I so learned from taking a Religious Studies class about different religions, but most importantly I learned that I needed to search deeper into the Catholic faith to discover what I believed rather than what I was taught to believe. I had taken a break from college when the baby was born, later to be recalled to activity duty after 9/11. I struggled with leaving the baby so young 4 weeks old to be exact. I thought about what I should do, and realized that I need to fulfill my duty and was lucky enough that my orders were for my own base, and not for Iraq. Good thing I listened, because the rest of my unit later got orders to Iraq. Miracle # 3! I wanted to teach my son about character and responsibility of following through when you take an oath. A huge blessing for us during this time, was that my parents had just moved to San Diego form New York. They cared for my baby boy 6 days week, while I was at work at the base. There is no way we would have gotten through the year without them. Blessing! We were lucky because with the money I made as a BM2 we saved for a down payment on our home. Blessing! I tried really hard to go to church but it was hard on me with the baby, and then a toddler. Finally, he can go to CCD class while I am at Mass, I can listen whole heartedly know. Passing on faith to my son was very important to me since I didn't get that when I was younger. One Sunday, I felt the desire to help teach CCD for middle school grades since that was the age group I was working with when I got my credential. This desire...calling, has lead me to such an amazing spiritual journey. The more I taught I learned, the more I listened to others teach the more I learned. Until one day when a special person told me about Basic Catechist class. I didn't think I had time, I wasn't sure I wanted to go. What was I going to do with my kids while I attended. God put this class in my life for a reason. He provided friends who would look after my children while I went. Miracle #4! There was no obstacle now except for myself. But I did want to learn more about my catholic faith so that I could defend myself from my Christian friends. WOW!! What a blessing! Blessing! The class gave me so much insight. I understood more, I came to feel the Holy Spirit and saw how God has been working in my life. I had faith and believed, but I gained a working relationship with God. I can see little by little how God has worked in my life more clearly. He even works through other people, if you didn't know. I am so thankful for what I have and the lessons He has given me. I plan to detail some aspects of my growth and welcome and input, disagreements, or even encouragement. I would hope to share this all with you in hopes that someone might hear what God needs them to hear whether they want to or not.

Some topics I would like to discuss are the difference in Mass, Control and my battle with giving that up to God, the Word/ Bible, or anything that you might bring forth. Thanks for reading this, and may it be for the glory of God.

Where do I begin?

2010-01-26T22:11:00.000-08:00

I'm so heart broken over what has happened in Haiti. I see the children and think of how lucky I have been to have grown up in the United States as a female. Yet, I see the children and wish I could take them home and care and love them. I can't believe this destruction has occurred. I watched the news ever spare moment I had to get the updates. Have they rescued any one else? Are they getting the water and food they need? I've heard some people on the radio say that this happened to them because they practice Voodoo? (I'm a bad speller, so I'll just place a ? when I'm not sure if I spelled something correct.) I was so mad at this statement! I had just learned myself the night before watching the news that the country is mad up of 80% Catholics. YAY! Catholics. While, another 15% were Protestant. A country made up of 95% Christians and they were getting punished for practicing Voodoo? I really had to think about why God had allowed this to happen. I asked him. I could only rationalized and be in Awe at how they are holding onto their faith even in the most devastating time of their lives. What a lesson for me. Just like Job was tested these people are also having their faith tested. What a lesson for our country. How could we complain about our economical hardships when we still have things a thousand times better then others. Don't you know we have the richest poor people in the world. For the world, wake up and care for your fellow human. Haiti's troubles have been long and hard. Only now people are interested in what's going on there.
I too have worried about money these past couple of years. Yet, I have found strength to stop worrying and enjoy what I have been given. I've seen small miracles in my life daily. I know that I will be taken care of just as I have always been. Only now I know it. I wish others would know that they are also cared for. Haitians so need our support today and tomorrow. I wish I could give thousands, but hopefully my couple of dollars that I could spare right now will help even just a little. Maybe soon I can give a bit more. And maybe I can sponsor a child there as well. We'll see.