TheWebJoker.com

“A bull in Montana”

The_Web_Joker — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 15:00:25 +0000

“A bull in Montana” There were two lovers, who were really into spiritualism and reincarnation. They vowed that if either died, the one remaining would try to contact the partner in the other world exactly 30 days after their death. Unfortunately, a few weeks later, the young man died in a car wreck. True to [...]

At Heathrow Airport

The_Web_Joker — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 15:00:28 +0000

At Heathrow Airport At Heathrow Airport, a 300-foot long red carpet is stretched out to Air Force One and President Bush strides to a warm but dignified handshake from Queen Elizabeth II. They ride in a silver 1934 Bentley limousine to the edge of central London where they board an open 17th-century coach, hitched to [...]

The mysterious Bigfoot

The_Web_Joker — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 15:00:01 +0000

The mysterious Bigfoot A universal study on the mysterious Bigfoot was conducted in the Pacific Northwest. Three scientists from three different countries decided to go out into the woods for three months with the most sophisticated equipment known to mankind, in hopes of finally proving the existence of Bigfoot. An American scientist from Washington met [...]

Asshole

The_Web_Joker — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 15:00:48 +0000

Asshole The third grade teacher was teaching English and repeated for her class. “Mary had a little lamb, whose fleece was white as snow And everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was sure to go.” She explained that this was an example of poetry, but could be changed to prose by changing the last line [...]

The accident

The_Web_Joker — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 15:00:13 +0000

The accident One day Tony Blair was out jogging-and accidentally fell from a bridge into a very cold river. Three boys, playing along the river, saw the accident. Without a second thought, they jumped in the water and dragged the wet Prime Minister out of the river. After cleaning up he said, “Boys, you saved [...]

15 year old son

The_Web_Joker — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 15:00:05 +0000

15 year old son A couple was sitting up waiting for their 15 year old son to come home from a social engagement when the boy came into the house with a big smile on his face. “Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad! he said breathlessly. “Guess what! I’ve just had sex for the first time, and [...]

10 times its size

The_Web_Joker — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 15:00:30 +0000

10 times its size The 6th grade science teacher asked her class, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?” No one answered for a long time until little Mary stood up, angry, and said the teacher should not be asking 6th graders a question like that. She was going to tell [...]

Looking for a job

The_Web_Joker — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 15:00:57 +0000

Looking for a job A young Kevin Holm from The Yukon moves to Vancouver and goes to a big department store looking for a job. The manager says, “Do you have any sales experience?” The kid says,” Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Alaska”. Well, the boss liked the kid so he gave [...]

A salesman

The_Web_Joker — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 15:00:51 +0000

A salesman A salesman was travelling between towns and got a flat tyre in the middle of nowhere. Checking the spare, he found that it was flat, too. His only option was to flag down a passing motorist and get a ride to the nearest town. The first vehicle to stop was an old man [...]

In the airport VIP

The_Web_Joker — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 15:00:43 +0000

In the airport VIP I was in the airport VIP lounge en route to Seattle a couple of weeks ago. While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink. I was meeting a very important client who was also flying to Seattle, but she was running a little bit [...]

59th birthday

The_Web_Joker — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 15:00:19 +0000

59th birthday Yesterday was my 59th birthday, & I wasn’t feeling too hot this morning anyway. I went down for breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant & say “Happy Birthday,” & probably have a present for me. She didn’t even say “Good Morning,” let alone “Happy Birthday”. I thought, “Well, that’s wives for you. [...]

Valentine’s Day shopping

The_Web_Joker — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 15:00:05 +0000

Valentine’s Day shopping On a recent weekend, I was rushing around trying to do some Valentine’s Day shopping. I was stressed out and not thinking very fondly of the weather right then. It was dark, cold, and wet in the parking lot as I was loading my car up. I noticed that I was missing [...]

In our garden

The_Web_Joker — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 15:00:29 +0000

In our garden A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly, she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking at two spiders mating. “Daddy, what are those two spiders [...]

I, George W. Bush

The_Web_Joker — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 15:00:03 +0000

I, George W. Bush A man went to a doctor, and said he wanted to be able to get a job at the local Post Office, but unfortunately he was too smart. The doctor asked him his IQ, and when he gave a three-digit reply, the doctor told him that the procedure would have to [...]

Pearly Gates

The_Web_Joker — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 15:00:16 +0000

Pearly Gates George W. Bush, Albert Einstein and Pablo Picasso have all died. Due to a glitch in the mundane/celestial time-space continuum, all three arrive at the Pearly Gates more or less simultaneously, even though their deaths have taken place decades apart. The first to present himself to Saint Peter is Einstein. Saint Peter questions [...]

Irritating cunt

The_Web_Joker — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 15:00:27 +0000

Irritating cunt A teacher is talking to her class full of infants “If your mother was a bird, what sort would she be?” she asks the children The first child says – “If my mummy was a bird, she’d be a dove”, “That’s nice” said the teacher, “why’s that?” Because she’s beautiful and pure and [...]

In the Old West

The_Web_Joker — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 15:00:14 +0000

In the Old West This young man in the Old West wanted to be the best gunfighter alive. One night as he was sitting in a saloon, he spotted an old man who had the reputation of being the greatest gunfighter in his day. The young man walked up to the old man and told [...]

Two young brothers

The_Web_Joker — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 15:00:15 +0000

Two young brothers Two young brothers are sitting in the living room, watching TV with their parents. The mother looks over at the father with a wink and a nod toward upstairs. The father gets the message, and they both get up and head towards the stairs. The mother turns back to the two boys [...]

Half a head of lettuce

The_Web_Joker — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 15:00:49 +0000

Half a head of lettuce A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that hey only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter. Walking [...]

What Baghdad?

The_Web_Joker — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 15:00:50 +0000

What Baghdad? Saddam Hussein and George Bush meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When George sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam’s chair. They begin talking. After about five minutes Saddam presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a [...]

Mrs. Crunt?

The_Web_Joker — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 15:00:57 +0000

Mrs. Crunt? Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher. She says, “Hello class, I’m Mrs. Prussy. When you say my name class remember it has an “r” after the first letter.” The entire class says, “Hello Mrs. Prussy.” A few days later the regular teacher [...]

The contagious

The_Web_Joker — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 15:00:02 +0000

The contagious A teacher asks her class to use the word ‘contagious’ in a sentence. Roland, the class swot, gets up and says, “Last year I got the measles and my Mum said it was contagious.” “Well done, Roland” says the teacher. “Can anyone else try?” Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says ,”My [...]

Tony’s clock

The_Web_Joker — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 15:00:39 +0000

Tony’s clock Cherie Blaire died and went to heaven. As she stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates she saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. She asked, “What are all those clocks?” St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands [...]

In tiny letters

The_Web_Joker — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 15:00:25 +0000

In tiny letters One day when the teacher walked to the blackboard, she noticed someone had written the word ‘Penis’ in tiny letters. She turned around and scanned the class looking for a guilty face. Finding none, she quickly erased it and began class. The next day, she went into the room, she noticed in [...]

A blowjob

The_Web_Joker — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 15:00:07 +0000

A blowjob Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, “Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?” Little Johnny waves his hand, “Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!” Miss Rogers says, “All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?” Little Johnny says, “Mas-tur-bate.” [...]