They Call Me "Deli Meat"

Thoughts After Watching Final Fantasy: TSW

noreply@blogger.com (Deli) — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 17:28:00 +0000

I know, I haven't posted in forever. I'm not really sure what the point of this post is, but I have thoughts running around in the brain and no one's on AIM. I need an outlet. That's what these blog things are for, right?

This morning, Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within came on TV. I hadn't watched it in a LONG time. Five years maybe? I have the DVD, but honestly, it's not that good of a movie. And it's not that I think the CG is creepy, or the story is convoluted, or that it doesn't feel like Final Fantasy - the usual complaints I hear about the movie. No, it's mostly the fault of the characterization (or lack thereof). The only entertaining characters in it were ripped straight out of "Aliens" and those not torn from that movie are flat, uninteresting, two-dimensional, static, everything a film or book character should NOT be. The acting was a bit stiff in places too, but I genuinely think the actors did very well considering what they had to work with. The point is, if your characters suck, I'm not gonna care what happens to them. Whenever a death of a main character happens in the movie, I just don't care. I don't believe any of these people could really exist, you know?

Anyway, I still watched it, and honestly, it was still a geek-out moment for me and I was enjoying the experience immensely, JUST BECAUSE IT WAS ON. I surround myself with Japanese media all the time - anime, dramas, TV variety shows, and especially music. I often forget how rare & wonderful it is that anything from that world comes on TV. I feel like there's alot of Anime on TV, but that's just because I know it's there, I know when it's on. I don't get that excited listening to japanese music because it's really all I listen to on my computer. I can easily download japanese dramas and watch them anytime I want. It's commonplace for anything asian to be on my computer. But FF:TSW is a movie based on a Japanese video game series, directed by Hironobu Sakaguchi, with a freaking L'Arc~en~Ciel song played at the end.

Sure, I listen to L'Arc all the time. They're just a part of my life. But it is still so exciting to me to hear hyde's voice coming from my TV speakers, with the knowledge that this isn't a DVD or video that I'm watching, this is actually on TV right now - someone else somewhere could be hearing it & thinking "hey, this song is pretty cool" and looking at the credits to see who did it. It's not really likely, but it's possible. And the song being played on TV validates the band for me somehow. As though it's proof that they're real, and that there's an audience for them even on this side of the ocean, outside the usual Otaku subjects.

But this movie came out 8 years ago. Why, 8 years later, is this still exciting to me? Why is Japanese music still not getting any attention here? I do two j-entertainment podcasts. J-music is covered on Gaijin Kanpai, and dramas are covered on GK Dorama Club. After 25 episodes, GK has a moderate audience. After 3 episodes, GKDC gets way more feedback & listeners already. Japanese TV dramas have more of an english-speaking audience than Japanese Music does, and I cannot for the life of me understand why. As much as I love being excited to hear Japanese music played during a movie, I don't see why it should still be exciting 8 years after L'arc gets an american movie theme. By this point, J-music should be at least common among music geeks, but it's not. Why?

There have been various attempts over the years to release j-albums legitimately. Two examples I can think of are Mars Colony Music, who released game music, and Tofu Records, who released Sony Music Japan artists' releases. Neither company exists anymore, as the expenses of licensing & releasing the music to its tiny audience here couldn't be recouped. Asian artists who've tried to americanize their sound & release material here, such as Utada, have failed. Asians in general don't get much recognition in the music world save for very tiny underground & indie circles (Pizzicato Five and DJ Krush, for example, have done okay - but very few people know who they are, regardless).

I almost feel like asian media really had a shot to come over here in the early aughts - Anime & games started to skyrocket in popularity. But american-made games by the folks at Valve & Blizzard have pretty much overtaken the asian games by the likes of Square-Enix, and the geekiest of the Anime fans were unfortunately the loudest, so Anime is back to being something for dorks with no lives rather than regular people. Any chance asian music & movies had of reaching the mainstream was lost when anime & games were no longer a curiosity to the general American public.

On the one hand, I would like to hear BoA and Utada on the radio, or see them on TV. But on the other hand, I saw what happened to the Anime industry when it got big here. I no longer feel at home among other Anime fans. Geeks who just wanted to be themselves used to be able to watch fansubs of the newest series in Japan, watch old DVDs of the classics, and make fun of bad dubs together. It was cozy and nice. Now, Anime's just too big - too many series are being dubbed & brought over, and it's not special. So I wonder if I should be wishing for J-music to get more of a fanbase over here. Part of me really likes saying "you probably don't know any of the artists I listen to," and I LOVE meeting other people who know J-music simply because it's so rare a thing to come across. In the earlier days of my anime fandom, I wanted my group of anime-loving friends to grow. Then it did, and I wished it hadn't.

So, while I do want the inherent racism against Asians in the media to go away in America, at the same time, a very big, very selfish part of me wants my small group of j-music loving friends to stay warm, friendly, and cozy. When and if BoA's "Energetic" video comes on TV alot, I know obnoxious 12 year old girls are going to be singing the song in the middle of Claire's or wherever it is the kids shop for little cheap things these days. I want that to happen, but I don't.

I kinda wanna always be excited to hear "Spirit Dreams Inside" when the Final Fantasy movie comes on tv.

But I kinda don't.

Weird.

OMG I'm actually losing weight again!

noreply@blogger.com (Deli) — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 20:32:00 +0000

Look at the ticker!! LOOK! XD

I went back up again for a little while. (yay holidays -_-;; why must you tempt me so!)

But the weight looks like it's finally coming off again! Huzzah :)

10 TV Commercials That I Really Hate

noreply@blogger.com (Deli) — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 20:34:00 +0000

Can I just take this moment to rant about TV ads that I just can NOT stand? Hopefully some of you folks will agree.

1. Glade - all the ads where this compulsive liar of a woman tries to impress her friends saying that her Glade air fresheners are spa scents, french, incense, or whatever else - even when she's on the phone and there's no one else actually around to smell it! One, that woman is annoying as hell and has a serious lying habit that she needs to get professional help for. She's not exactly someone I can relate to. Two, all Glade is saying is "we're embarrassing to have in your house, we know, it's okay to lie." I don't wanna buy a brand that considers itself embarrassing, do you?

2. Sinupret - that mom & daughter? POD PEOPLE.

3. Snuggie, the blanket you wear - You know, this really looked like a reasonable product that I might consider getting, until they showed the family wearing it OUTSIDE THE HOUSE. I can't imagine something more humiliating for a 12 year old boy than having his whole family show up for his soccer game IN BLANKETS. "That's my kid!" "Really? I can't see the resemblance. He's wearing actual clothing, after all."

4. Every Kidz Bop commercial ever - This is really more hate for the product than the ads themselves. Okay, let's take all the crappy songs on the radio and remove everything about those tracks that's somewhat listenable - the bad words, the on-key vocals, all that. It'll be a hoot, listening to a bunch of perfunctory vocals by tone-deaf children! It's like karaoke night without the booze, sushi, or fun of any kind! But yeah, the ads just play clips of this crap, so by default, the ads suck too.

5. Bratz - Bratz, Girls Really Rock. The one with the electrified voice going "Bra-a-atz" and then another sorta, well, bratty-sounding voice going like "BRAAATZ". (I should find youtube videos of these.) The music in this ad is completely obnoxious and honestly kinda creepy sounding. The person in charge of this brilliant jingle is a complete idiot and should be forbidden from working in the trade ever again.

6. Jared - No one gives a shit if he went to Jared. If he went to Tiffany, yeah, I can see people murmuring about it in hushed, excited whispers. Jared just doesn't have that reputation yet. I can understand the "dress for the job you want" mentality the ad agency must have had for this, but when it's your entire ad campaign? Makes you guys look like total posers. Sorry Jared, you suck.

7. Mentos - Thank GOD this one's been edited. Have you guys seen the ad where the guy is in an office next to a water cooler and has some Mentos, and the girl comes up and... well. Right now the ad shows the girl "kissing" the dorky guy, and then for some unexplicable reason she pushes his nose down afterwards. And it has one of those arbitrary, poorly thought-out, could-apply-to-anyone tagline about the Mentos being refreshing. This ad's already a piece of crap, but it's WAY less annoying (and gross) than the original, in which the tagline is "mouthwatering", and the girl is not kissing him, but from the sound effects, she's clearly DRINKING FROM HIS MOUTH instead of the water cooler! WHAT THE FREAKING HELL EEEEWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!! So yeah, I'm glad they changed it to kissing and all, but that commercial just makes no sense now and it needs to be pulled completely in my opinion. Those horrible nonsensical ads from the late 90s were WAY better, and that's saying something.

8. Toyota, Saved By Zero - First off, why do commercials always have these horrible covers of decent old songs? If you can't get the rights to just play the original version of the song, just write a new jingle. (And don't just cheat and change the lyrics to a song we know, write something we'll associate with your brand, dumbasses). So yeah, that bugs me, but to be totally honest, mostly it gives me a headache to try to watch the cars drive by. The obviously sped-up footage is nothing short of headache-inducing.

9. Multi-Grain Cheerios - It's just way too obvious that they've Americanized a British ad. The sync is bad on the dub, as we hear the voice say "bahx" while the mouth says "bohx". The colors on the newly-americanized cereal box are so completely different from the rest of the ad's overall look, not to mention Calories being in the ENTIRELY wrong place for an American box, which cracks me up. It's like they tried to fit pieces from two different puzzles together, and the force is obvious. Jeez guys, Commercial Localization 101. If the edits are gonna be THAT OBVIOUS, just... make a new ad. Seriously. Use the same concept if you want, just re-shoot the damn thing. Ugh. UGH.

10. XBox 360 "Head" ads - There are two of these, one for Netflix and one for just gaming. These are the ones where we see very unattractive people's vacant, spacy facial expressions (they don't even look like they're enjoying themselves, they just look spaced out), and the camera slowly pans to the back of their head which we see is HOLLOWED OUT AND FULL OF PARTY. It is CREEPY AS HELL. These are like, freaky robot people!!! There's something very uncanny valley about the whole thing and I just can't stand it.

Anyway, what are your thoughts on these ads? Any other horrible ads you guys can think of?

The Zero Hit Story

noreply@blogger.com (Deli) — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 10:53:00 +0000

In celebration of my 50th post on this silly blog, the follwing is inspired by the December 3, 2008 entry at blag.xkcd.com, and is made entirely of phrases that yielded zero hits on google. A big "darn it" goes to Avish and Isaleen who had this idea first but I hadn't read the comments that far down before writing a bunch of this stuff. Enjoy!

I just did something vaguely unethical... I put this on the internet first. It's only a matter of time before this shows up on google. (There are no results for this string).

Perhaps I have more important things to be doing right now, but the world needs a bit more whimsy. Ominous fluffy kittens pardon my 1337 5p33k.

I have not had intercourse with your mom. Thermite your mom. I am turned on by smelly toes. Your mom was never good. She smelled like a Star Trek convention - there was no deodorant to be had. Her nudity was terrifying. (It turned out her bottom half was a robot.)

Black hat man is sexy, so I wrote his brain a love note. Minesweeper erotica sex is better than vista... I can't feel my forehead! My cerebrum is exploding! You spilled my calculus! (Search your database, you know it to be true.)

Rented cashews blown to velociraptors and lollipops... I'm totally a velociraptor. Velociraptors can swim faster than Michael Phelps! Let me touch your raptors - I kissed a velociraptor and liked it. Will velociraptors give you up? Will velociraptors let you down? Summer Glau ate my velociraptor, "Velociraptors ate my homework. I can't believe I ate the whole velociraptor." Summer Glau is the new president - raccoon in chief, with a velociraptor trebuchet. Smash, crash, you're dead.

Is that a DNA sequencer in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? (I met my husband on 4chan.) Erotic Feynman diagrams, which is exactly what I expected a female borg to do.

Spockagram!! Barack Obama is Stephen Colbert! Is Obama from space? Obama might be from space. Unlike normal furries, Obama is a Dalek. Obama is a raptor!!!! No McCain left behind.

My girlfriend plays too many video games. I would have fallen in love with you if you hadn't jumped out the window. Did you defenestrate my vodka? Unleash the stickmen!! I miss my gangrene republican flavored soda.

The babel fish ate a violin. Let them eat whatever they'll make themselves. (Make ice cream, not frozen custard.)

Luke, I am your third grade teacher. There is no meat skewer.

XKCD sucks. xkcd is funnier than me.

That's when I hit the grizzly... and thus ended the reign of google.

Wheeeee....

noreply@blogger.com (Deli) — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 23:28:00 +0000

la la la la la.

Okay, so. On my boyfriend's insistence, I've tried for a job at the same Comcast call center where he works, and it looks like I may have gotten it! Honestly for me to not get it, I'd have to fail the drug test after some kind of hilarious mix-up, or... eating too many poppyseed muffins or something.

If I get it, I'll start the Monday after Christmas.

In the meantime, Christmas prep has begun! The stockings are up, there's a poinsettia that I promise myself I'll keep alive at least until christmas eve, there's lights, there's shiny obnoxious garlands everywhere, and my poster of Ayumi Hamasaki above the TV has ribbon on the corners so she kinda looks like a present. ^_^

I have my tree decorated much more nicely this year than the past two years, although this tree is really... like.... Well, it's a $20 drug store tree. And i wanna get one of those 6 1/2 foot tall, 5 foot wide, full-looking trees from Big Lots or Walmart. Next year, though - I've decorated this POS Charlie Brown tree already, I'm invested now.

So some of you may have noticed that my little weight meter has barely moved. What happened? Stomach flu & Thanksgiving, in short. It's hard to find foot that's both atkins-friendly AND Stomach flu friendly (Judee had stomach flu before me and used up all the diet 7-up, and for some reason chicken broth's smell was making me feel sick again). Toast was inevitably ingested, much to my dismay. Took a few days to get back on ketosis again, and... OH GUESS WHAT HAPPENED. Thanksgiving! Mashed potatoes & chocolate pie. *sigh*

I'm back on the wagon today - sugar-free everything (crap i forgot to get jello at the store just now), meat, no starches, the whole ball of wax.

...I really don't wanna think of food as a ball of wax. Whole nine yards. Whole kit 'n caboodle.

Does anyone remember Caboodles? I loved those things.

ANYWAY sorry for rambling. The weight loss meter will start moving again soon.

...although I bet it'll stop again at Christmas - I must not sabotage myself! 185 by New Years!!!!!!!

Dietary rough patch

noreply@blogger.com (Deli) — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 21:08:00 +0000

Changing your way of eating always has side effects o_O

Two nights ago I felt horribly sick. I didn't throw up or anything, but my stomach just felt AWFUL. The thought of eating made me feel ill. I didn't have much of an appetite at all.

I thought about it and it occurred to me that it had been hours since I'd eaten anything. Once I had a little bit to eat, I felt a bit better, and basically snacked gradually for the rest of the evening.

I've learned that on this diet, I have to eat once every 3-4 hours or I just feel gross. x_X

Weight Loss :P

noreply@blogger.com (Deli) — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 07:15:00 +0000

Doing the Atkins diet has been difficult.

But I'm doing it! I did cheat on Halloween though. (The little person just had too much candy >_
In the meantime, I put a weight loss ticker on my page. So you can see how well I'm actually doing. :P Full disclosure, not gonna be shy or ashamed of my original weight. (I'm pretty tall so it could be worse, you know?)

Besides, I want you all to see how well I'm doing! :) (Cuz if I show you guys a ticker, I'm more likely to behave & stick to it. o_o)

Later. :)

The Internet Is Dead

noreply@blogger.com (Deli) — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 01:55:00 +0000

*sigh*

I am.... like.... really really sick.... of the presence of idiots on the internet.

Once upon a time, I was the idiot on the internet. I was the newbie. Now.... I'm a freaking genius compared to what appears to be 75-80% of people online. (As are you, I'm sure.)

I first got online in 1994. Back then, "normal" people didn't have the internet yet. It was still just huge geeks who'd been there for ages and who were really really smart. So I was this 10 year old girl getting math help from my mom's friends, all mensa members. And now I'm a 24 year old who sounds perpetually 16 getting pissed off at 13 year old J-Pop fans who don't have a clue about art in any form at all.

I have degenerated along with the internet. I feel my IQ drop every time I read a thread at one of the forums I go to.

I think you should have to have a license to get on the internet, the test for which would involve essay questions. Lots and lots of essay questions. There'd be no wrong or right answers, you just have to not sound like a complete idiot. And there'd be reading comprehension skills too. You'd be allowed to go back & re-read to find the answers, cuz you can do that on a forum. If you get more than one wrong, no internet for you.

That's what I think.

Dieting :P

noreply@blogger.com (Deli) — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 20:07:00 +0000

Hey everyone! Sorry for the lack of updates lately. I thought I'd update you all on my current state of being :P

So I tried doing your basic calorie counting diet awhile back, upon inspiration from my sister. And honestly.....

Yeah, didn't work. :( The temptation to eat chocolate & other junk was just too great.

Different diets work for different people. Some people do fabulously on a raw foods diet, some people do well with low-fat diets, some do best with low-calorie diets. I've learned that honestly, I do best with the low-carb stuff.

There are any number of reasons for this, but the one that seems to apply to me is that I have a carbohydrate addiction. It's not really an "addiction" per se, just an imbalance in my insulin production that makes me go all hypoglycemic sometimes (I get shaky & cranky & I'm just a mess x-X no fun to be around at all), and I just can't stop eating if there's food in front of me o_O. It's not that I don't feel satisfied, I just... like eating the food too much. It doesn't occur to me that I should stop. Especially if there's chocolate or any kind of bread product involved - even if I'm filled to the brim, there's still always more room in my tummy for chocolate or bread. Sometimes I go eat just cuz I'm bored & can't think of anything else to do. I can't count how many times I've opened up the pantry or the fridge when I wasn't the slightest bit hungry.

So I tried Atkins when I was about 13 or 14 (on my mom's recommendation, after she saw a co-worker lose all kinds of weight on the diet), and it worked like a kind of detox for me, on top of fixing my pudgy tummy. I had ALL these other digestive issues before doing the diet that all got fixed when I started eating low-carb. I eventually (slowly) slipped off the diet... I still ate relatively healthfully, but then.... i had a baby x_X

For the first time in my life, no one was saying "don't eat all that cake!" I wasn't saying it to myself either, unfortunately, and I gained TONS of weight between the time I got pregnant and about a year ago. Not cool. :(

My boyfriend and I both have gained a boatload of weight since he moved in here (we're not totally sure what happened exactly, but it happened, so, time to fix it). We tried cutting calories recently, but it didn't work out - we succumbed too easily to temptation.

So over the past week, we've been eating ALL our carby foods - fruit, ice cream, snacks, bread, cereal, everything. We've kept a little bit of it for the little one, like the fruit & cereal & milk (probably not healthy for her to cut back so much on carbohydrates), but most of it is gone.

My boyfriend is starting the diet tomorrow (he didn't want to waste his Lean Pockets), and I've started today. I found a bunch of recipes (really creative ones too) on Atkins.com and other low-carb diet websites. The last time I was on this diet I felt about a million times better and I got pretty thin... hopefully it'll still work out for me now!

Wish me luck everyone! :)

Quote of the Moment

noreply@blogger.com (Deli) — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 20:38:00 +0000

"What doesn't kill you... usually succeeds in the second attempt."
-Mr. Krabs

Sorry for the lack of a proper entry... expect one later today or tomorrow.

The Effect of Video Games

noreply@blogger.com (Deli) — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 17:07:00 +0000

This right here was WONDERFUL to read:

Video Game Myths Debunked

Shame this couldn't come out before Jack Thompson was disbarred, but either way, the more people see this link, the more of a victory it is for moms like me who let their kids play video games.

I bet...

noreply@blogger.com (Deli) — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 03:00:00 +0000

....you want me to write about what I thought of the Presidential debate.

Well I'm not gonna! Cuz you know what? I don't like either candidate. I'm gonna write someone else in. :)

So yeah, to all you lazy people who say you're not gonna vote cuz you don't want to choose the lesser of two evils: If you don't like either candidate, there's STILL no excuse to not vote. Write-ins are delicious. :)

How Not To Be A Jerk

noreply@blogger.com (Deli) — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 20:45:00 +0000

In my many travels on the internet, I've encountered many many many many jerks. This is the internet, after all, and it's a reflection of the world as a whole; and most people are jerks.

I like to believe that people are generally good, however. My guess is that alot of times, these people don't realize they're being jerks. Maybe they're just spacey, or simply weren't taught proper manners.

So here's a list I've begun to compile of things you can do (or not do) if you want to avoid being a jerk. :)

1. Don't go out of your way to hate stuff. Don't leave hateful youtube or blog comments, don't make anti-so-and-so websites, don't flame people for their taste in music no matter how crappy it is. Just try to keep your damn mouth shut.
2. Tip at least 10%, unless the server/deliverer/waiter has done something HORRIBLY wrong. Keep in mind, they're not the ones actually making the food, they just ask what you want & bring it to you.
3. Don't ask for discounts! If you're not buying something on sale, with a coupon, with a AAA card, or in bulk, guess what? YOU CAN'T HAVE ONE.
4. Don't write a check for a retail purchase less than about $100. For bonus points, don't write checks for anything but bills that you mail in.
5. Be aware of your surroundings. This means not walking in the middle of the parking lot where cars are driving - walk close to the parked cars please.
6. Hey you high school & middle school girls who walk four-wide & take up the WHOLE HALL, going at turtle speeds on your way to class? CUT IT OUT.
7. When you borrow something like a power tool or a toy or a pen, freaking give it back. It's not yours.
8. Smile.
9. Don't assume you're entitled to anything special if you haven't done anything special to earn it.
10. Don't yell & scream about how things should be a certain way, cuz guess what? Yelling & screaming doesn't magically make the world work the way you want.
11. Clean up after yourself in the damn food court. You don't have to wipe down the table with a Lysol Disinfectant Wipe or anything but at least throw away your trash, for heaven's sake.
12. Don't shop at a retail store unless you've worked in retail & know how it works. Save us your self-righteous arrogance and shop at amazon.com or something.
13. Hang around with nice people. You know, the considerate & thoughtful ones. The ones who are polite. Maybe they'll rub off on you.
14. If someone gives you something, accept it graciously. Don't make comments about wishing you got more, don't insist on not taking it, and don't just grab it without saying thank you. All three of those things make you look like a condescending jerk.
15. If something important happens, and you know someone who needs (or would want) to know, TELL THEM.
16. Don't be lazy.
17. If it's the holidays, and you're at your favorite store, and all 8 or whatever checkout lanes are open, DO NOT COMPLAIN TO THE MANAGER ABOUT THE LINES. Logic would dictate that we'd open more lanes if we could, but - oh look at that! IT ISN'T PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE.
18. Don't shoplift, seriously. :( Not cool.
19. Don't physically hurt anyone.
20. Don't play mean tricks on people where they think something good is gonna happen and then they get shot down.
21. Don't laugh at the videos on AMFV where people fall down & get hurt, wtf is wrong with you??
22. Make educated decisions rather than going with loyalty & then defending your stupidity when people call you on it.
23. Be understanding. Just because someone doesn't know how to pronounce your name doesn't mean they're racist or stupid. They gave it a try, you should be proud of them. Correct them politely and move on. If someone calls you "ma'am" and you don't like it, just politely say that the title isn't necessary and move on. If someone thinks you're a girl from behind because you have long hair, just turn around so they can see you're a dude and move on. If you have a friend who's really broke & they can only afford to get you a card for your birthday, it doesn't mean they hate you if they didn't buy you a big expensive present. Thank them for the card and move on.
24. Drive like an educated, considerate human being. Don't cut people off, don't speed, use the 3-second rule, and FOR GOD'S SAKE USE YOUR TURN SIGNAL.
25. Don't be that guy. You know what I mean, depending on your social circle. The moocher, the leech, the womanizer, the antisocial guy who never smiles, the arrogant yuppie, the elitist fanboy, the conforming nonconformist, the genius, the fashion plate, or the showoff. There are other categories, but you know what I mean.

Just think, with these 25 easy steps, you too can be a productive member of society! They're fairly basic, just... don't be a jerk.

Pretty Nice Evening

noreply@blogger.com (Deli) — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 01:59:00 +0000

Tonight rocked! A friend came over and I cooked dinner (teriyaki chicken, egg rolls, potstickers, rice, green tea). It all turned out awesome and even juggling ALL that food, I didn't burn or destroy anything! AWESOME. :)

Money

noreply@blogger.com (Deli) — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 19:14:00 +0000

It's nice to have a reasonable amount of money coming in again. Whenever we're both working & making a decent living, we spend it on dumb things. We really need to break that habit.

Just because you have more money doesn't mean you can go crazy spending it. When your cup is totally full, that's when you have to be most careful carrying it. Keep everything level & steady, and you'll be fine; but if you don't watch what you're doing, you'll lose what you have.

But that's the trap we keep getting into. When we have more money, we should be SAVING a bunch of it rather than spending it because it's there. I've always had that problem. If the money was there, chances are I'd spend it. God help me if I got paid any other time besides right before the day all the rent & bills were due.

So, note to self: Carry the cup carefully, and I won't lose money like I usually do.

Your Life is More Interesting Than You Think it Is

noreply@blogger.com (Deli) — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 08:17:00 +0000

Think back on your life for a minute. Where you grew up, your parents, your siblings if any, any pets you've had, dumb things you did as a child, dumb things you did as a teenager, and dumb things you've done since reaching adulthood.

Chances are, every single one of you has a totally different story.

This, in essence, makes you unique and special and different and, to some degree, interesting. To at least someone. But when you look back on your life, it probably doesn't seem to be anything more than... well, normal. And, dare I say it, kinda boring.

The Army had that ad on TV once that said, "If someone wrote a book of your life, would anyone want to read it?" I always used to answer that in my head with a resounding "no". But then, I was talking to a newly-made friend the other day about my life, and she called my life "interesting".

I was taken aback for a moment. COMPLETELY confused as to why anyone would call my life "interesting". No one's ever said that about my life before, I always considered it normal & boring. But I thought about it for a second and came to the conclusion that (and I think I even said this to my friend), of course it seems boring; it's all I've really ever known. My life is my life, it's the daily grind, the usual, the everyday, the mundane.

But to anyone who hasn't lived my exact life, there will be aspects to my life story that are different & interesting & unusual & fascinating. Or just plain weird.

Apparently the fact that I didn't really "grow up" in any one specific place is weird to some people. My mom moved us somewhere new about every 5 years, mostly just for a change of scenery or job or something. With every move she's gotten closer & closer to her ideal, and now she lives in the exact city & the exact house that she's basically always wanted. She was too ambitious to stay in one place, she had dreams of her perfect ideal home, and ultimately she got it. I know many other people who've lived in the same place for 15+ years; honestly, I can't imagine that. (I myself have lived in 4 different towns in the last five years, and I plan on moving again as soon as I have the money to). But I've had people ask me if I was a military brat in the past, so obviously this isn't the norm. :P

Apparently the fact that my family lived next door to my grandmother for about 5 years is weird too. It was AWESOME living next door to my grandmother. She & I have always been close. We had access to her place if we needed anything like sugar or butter or eggs. My parents always had somewhere to drop us off if they were going out of town or just out for an evening. And this was during our elementary school years, so needless to say, it was a VERY nice arrangement for everyone. But I told someone about that once and they said it was an interesting idea, they'd never heard of it before. They'd heard of the whole huge family living together, but not in two separate houses right next door. The next door thing seemed very reasonable to me - each family has its own space & privacy, but the convenience of being right there for each other all the time. But again, not the norm.

Apparently the fact that I like Japanese music & TV is weird. But honestly, that one, I figured. But I've met some people who find that incredibly interesting about me. I, however, think I'm a boring otaku nerd.

My new friend told me my life seemed interesting after I mentioned to her the history of my years since college. My ex being a delusional sociopathic con artist, meeting my current boyfriend online (another not-normal thing), all that stuff. That was when she said my life seemed "interesting".

I guess you just never know what about your life is gonna be fascinating to anyone else. But if you've got a story that makes you special or interesting, or gives you expertise in something, or helps caution others against doing something dumb, share that story. You never know who'll be interested.

Cracked Article: "6 Brainwashing Techniques They're Using On You Right Now"

noreply@blogger.com (Deli) — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 20:57:00 +0000

Again, I really don't usually do the whole quoting-stuff-from-the-internet thing, but what can I say, I'm in love with the Internet right now.

Cracked.com writer David Wong has taken time out to entertain & inform by explaining to us the (surprisingly simple) ways that the media, politicians, and advertisers brainwash us into buying, voting, talking, and thinking a certain way.

The breakdown is thus:
6. Chanting Slogans
5. Slipping BS Into Your Subconscious (That was a really interesting one)
4. Controlling What You Watch & Read (You'll smack yourself for being more suceptible to this one than you think you are)
3. Keeping You In Line With Shame (You probably do this to your friends alot)
2. Black and White Choices (I've always prided myself in being a gray-area type, and this is why)
1. "Us" vs. "Them"

Please PLEASE read this article. Yes, it's a funny article, but the humor just makes it an easy read. I think it's a necessary piece of information for ANYONE who makes a decision about anything. If you vote, shop, have friends, or, you know, LIVE, you really need to read this so you can go into the decision-making process armed with a REALLY REALLY advanced BS detector.

You can also go into meetings or sales pitches armed with a brainwashing arsenal, now that I think about it. You'll have a good BS detector and you'll be a logical person, but people don't respond to logic - so to get people to believe your logical decisions, you might have to use some of these tactics. o_O

Click here to read the whole article.

I need a new blog layout.

noreply@blogger.com (Deli) — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 04:10:00 +0000

Okay, maybe someone out there can help me out.

I have no idea how to build a blogger layout. I could probably mock-up a layout for someone to code, but I don't have any idea what I'm doing code-wise.

Here's what I need:

-Blog post area at least 650 pixels wide for videos & images & such.
-More space between the end of my post & the whole "comments/share this/etc." line.
-Widget support.
-This isn't a necessity but I'd like pink. Not loud pink, but a delicate (not baby, but barely-there) pink would be really nice. (Current layout is a bit too much)

It must be presentable & grown-up looking, so no pictures from movies or anime or anything (as much as I love that stuff).

Can anyone out there do this for me, or point me in the direction of a blogger layout that would work for me? Or even a blogger layout generator that works with the new widgets. I REALLY want a nice layout, and none of the Blogger defaults are cutting it.

Any help out there?

Best Comic I've Seen This Week

noreply@blogger.com (Deli) — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 03:24:00 +0000

I don't usually post stuff I've found on the internet, but checking Natalie Dee's "comic" today, I saw this and it made me feel better about everything. :)

nataliedee.com

If you don't go to nataliedee.com on a regular basis, click above. You really should - she's so delightfully random.

Confessions of a Wannabe Superfan

noreply@blogger.com (Deli) — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 04:34:00 +0000

Okay, so last night... well, wait. It's too hard to explain my situation if I go in that direction.

I have rudimentary Japanese skills so I like to translate things. The problem with translating things as a skill or hobby is that other people can do the exact same work as you. If you don't tell the world, "Hey, I translated this! Come read it!", then people aren't gonna know you did that work.

So I translated something back in March. An interview with a jpop singer from 1999, when her first album was released.

In a fit of nostalgia I suppose, someone else posted their own translation of the same exact interview last night.

I am, quite frankly, pissed at myself.

This translator had, most likely, no idea that I'd done the translation myself 6 months ago. The forum I posted my translation at is a very hole-in-the-wall place. At the time, the forum had very little content so I didn't go around promoting it. My thread has 7 replies.

The new translation is at a much more popular forum (though membership consists of about 100 idiots for every intelligent person there), so that forum thread has about 50 replies. More people have seen this (admittedly better) translation. And yes, the translation is better, but I'm ticked off at the situation. I already DID this work 6 months ago. This is a waste, for one thing - if more people knew about my translation, then this translator would have probably done work on something else. And for another, my work has now been completely negated.

There is TONS of text relevant to this singer out there that hasn't been translated yet. I picked a really old interview because honestly, most people don't find the old stuff relevant anymore (I thought), and I didn't think anyone else would translate it when more recent interviews haven't been touched yet. But I was proven horribly wrong, and only 6 months later at that!

I have ABYSMAL viral marketing skills. x_x

In the past I've had people in this particular fan community call me a great contributor. I don't have anything to contribute anymore, is the problem. All my most interesting downloads come from somewhere else. All my news comes from somewhere else - I don't have any exclusive sources (I did, but someone decided to use that same source & steal my thunder. Okay, fine). I also frankly don't know japanese well enough to do translations of interviews & messages.

So last night I decided not to continue it. When you work hard on something, and don't get paid, and someone does the same work faster & better than you so you don't even feel GOOD about it, then what's the point? Where's the reward?

Honestly I'd love to have that Superfan status again. I think alot of people on the internet like that feeling, otherwise we wouldn't have movie news blogs and such. There are internet guys out there who give up real lives (jobs, girlfriends, all that) for the sake of being worshipped as a Superfan by mass amounts of junior fanboys. What is it about that feeling that's so amazing? Honestly, it's not even that Superfan status feels so great - it just feels so crappy when it's torn away from you.

My boyfriend used to be the resident Superfan for the same singer that I'm so worked up about. He was an admin at the more popular of the above two forums. He had downloads & news no one else had, once upon a time. But that was long ago - he's utterly forgotten now. He says he'd rejoin the fan community if he had anything to contribute, but he simply doesn't. And understandably, he doesn't want to just be a regular joe. He wants the oldbies to remember his awesomeness. So he doesn't hang out with these online fans anymore.

I think I understand, honestly. Maybe I shouldn't hang out with these people anymore. It's easy to get caught up in the politics & drama of Superfandom. And honestly, it's like the highlander - there can be only one. I'd be competing with another Superfan at the forum (whose post count is counted in the five-digit range.... my post count is a comparably paltry 4,000-ish, so of course he has more respect than someone like me does).

So after this new translation was posted last night, I started thinking to myself, why do I give a crap? WHY do I feel the need to defend my Superfan status? Think about what being a Superfan means - no life, no friends, no hobbies, no hope to ever change the world in a positive way. Because obsessing over not only a japanese pop singer, but how her fans think of me, is taking up all of my spare time.

But that doesn't keep me from really wanting to have people lower than me look up to me. And most of them are beneath me in almost every way, I won't lie to you - most of them are less mature, dumber, meaner, more stubborn people. But because they're lower on the ladder, I get some automatic respect - I expect it to be easy to get them to look up to me. It's safe to pursue that kind of positive attention.

Which is really all anyone wants, isn't it? Positive attention. That's all I ever wanted out of the deal. Being a Superfan, a dork among dorks, is much easier than actually getting a good job, going to school, and working towards my REAL WORLD goals in a healthy, productive way. The real world is a tough place to get by in, so when the sanctuary of the internet calls, saying "come here for attention - you're smart, you'll get it!", it's hard to resist. And I got used to getting positive attention in such an easy, half-assed way. So, whenever that silver platter holding my Superfan status is pulled away from me, I get pissed. Which is what happened when the new translation of that interview was posted.

I wish I could say this experience would change me overnight, make me not want to be a Superfan anymore. But damn, is it ever an addiciton. (Otherwise I wouldn't be writing about it 24 hours later.) Positive attention via internet forums is like money for nothing. It's hard to say no to, and my self-esteem at the moment rides on this crap. I honestly don't see myself giving up my pursuit of Superfan Status on internet forums cold turkey.

But at the same time, my next employer isn't going to give a damn what my post count at a forum is. My future friends aren't going to care how many J-Pop newbies think I'm a goddess. It doesn't matter. What matters is the HONEST, REAL-WORLD ways we contribute.

So maybe I'll just cut down a bit. Treat my hobby like an actual HOBBY, and not my entire life.

I need real-life friends. Quick. >_<

Helvetica

noreply@blogger.com (Deli) — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 05:24:00 +0000

WHY IS IT COOL NOW!?!?!?!?!

I just don't get it.

Someone explain this to me.

Ah, nostalgia.

noreply@blogger.com (Deli) — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 04:49:00 +0000

Why does candy not taste like it did when we were kids? Is it our frame of reference to the foods we've had since then? Have our taste buds actually physically changed? I don't get it. It depresses me.

But for one glorious second last night, the Oreo cookie I was eating tasted like it did when I was a kid.

I eat Oreos fairly regularly. But I hadn't tasted that exact flavor since I was in elementary school.

And do you believe it actually made me get all teary-eyed? It was weird.

To Describe the Mood I'm In Right Now

noreply@blogger.com (Deli) — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 05:23:00 +0000

Now's a good time to blog, because I'm in "the bad mood". This is the mood that, despite the upbeat nature of most of my posts, really is most prevalent in my life. I have alot to do, but I'm bored. I'm depressed about being so broke. I don't want to do ANYTHING except sit around and do nothing. Even doing nothing seems like too much for me right now. (The fact that I'm blogging is a wonder.)

I hate this mood, and it comes at random. And I have no idea how to get rid of it. ...Okay, that's a lie. I know how to get rid of it. Imagine that my life is perfect for 20 minutes (something I read at stevepavlina.com). But I am so depressed and dumpy right now that I don't even feel like doing that.

I guess it's laziness, but usually laziness is way more fun and involves TV watching and eating snacks that are bad for me. I don't feel like doing ANYTHING.

"The bad mood" is the reason my time is usually squandered. I surf forums & blogs. I play online games at places like MSN, working for the next Mastery Level badge like a complete moron. I'm wasting time, distracting myself from anything important.

And somehow I feel I have the right to get mad at my boyfriend for playing World of Warcraft all day & not finding a job. Like I'm so wonderful that I don't waste my time like that. What a load of crap.

Why is it that I was once so upbeat, productive (compared to now, anyway), and friendly? Why now do I have NO friends, no drive, no ambition, and no cheerfulness? Why have I decided that these things are unattainable, when I clearly had them in the past (when I was younger, more naive, and far less experienced)?

The facts are, I'm broke, and I know what I want to be when I grow up but I can't figure out how to get there without robbing a bank, basically. And I have a little girl to take care of. So it's hard to cheer myself up & get moving when these moods come. I can't look at the facts and say "well, at least i'm not totally broke!" because I am. I can't say "well, at least we have our health!" cuz we don't. I can't say "at least this thing/that thing/the other thing is taken care of" cuz nothing is.

It's hard to be cheerful when your life really is depressing. I don't have a whole lot of positive reinforcement, you know? I do well if action is rewarded, and it seems like none of my actions are, at least not immediately enough for it to have any effect on me psychologically or emotionally.

Any ideas? How do I cheer myself up & get out of this funk? What in my life could be good that I can look at & say "hey, that's good, I can be happy about that"?

Ugh. I'm gonna go watch TV and eat something unhealthy and see if it cheers me up.

So depressing to see....

noreply@blogger.com (Deli) — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 05:08:00 +0000

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Aaaalllll the way down the page.

I really need to get more visitors here. I think if I had more readers, I'd have more incentive to blog.

So I'm trying to figure out some of this social bookmarking stuff, something I never bothered to figure out before. Didn't think I'd need it.

The internet is a hard thing to keep up with. There are a few things that web 2.0 seems to depend on to function - like social bookmarking - that I just haven't figured out yet. I'm in my mid-20's, I'm not supposed to feel old. But I come from a much simpler internet of hypertext links and meta tags - so I feel old. :P

Anyway, keep an eye out here for various widgets & improvements.

It never feels like it's been that long...

noreply@blogger.com (Deli) — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 03:14:00 +0000

But I look and it's almost been a month since my last update. It's no wonder I don't have too many readers.

Anyway, I'm pleased to report that I've got a temporary job lined up, so that should keep me afloat for awhile. It's a web design job too which is wonderful. I do wish I could find more print related work, but I can do web design and I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth! (Not at the moment, anyway.)

I really just need enough money to pay for six months on my student loan. I REALLY want to go back to school ASAP, but (I'm not sure I've written about that here?) my loan is in default. Until I get six months of it paid (I've made an arrangement with the bank handling my loan), I can't get financial aid to continue my education.

Kids, don't let your loans go into default, especially if you leave school. My credit is crap. And I thought about one of those consolidation loans to lower the rate... looking into that, I'm glad I just made repayment arrangements with that bank. In the long run, I think just paying whatever tiny payments I can will work better for me in the long run.

I'm also experimenting with video editing. Just as a fun wacky random thing.

I think photo retouching is still my favorite thing to do, but I'm utterly unemployable with that as my only skill, so I'm trying to broaden my horizons a bit more. I need to learn Flash too.

Anyway, I'll talk to you guys later. I'm bored and I need to go do something with my hands or else I'll just eat, which is what I do when I'm bored for some reason.