Things I Feel Like Writing

noreply@blogger.com (allovertheeowl) — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 22:33:00 +0000

the lugnuts are coming loose

my tolerance for humanity (including my own) decreases

are the wheels gonna come off before the road runs out?

i feel like i don't exist

noreply@blogger.com (allovertheeowl) — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 22:12:00 +0000

when i'm wading through the crowd i feel like i could just walk through people

i look at the crowd, look at certain people but i feel like they can't see me.

i feel aloof as if i'm floating above it all, just being a silent observer

random

noreply@blogger.com (allovertheeowl) — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 19:40:00 +0000

i keep biting my lip by accident while chewing gum

i started wearing a watch in hopes of managing my time better
i realize i'm inefficient because i multitask so much...every transaction wastes valuable time

principle of aggregation...all those lost seconds, add up into minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, etc

i'm 50 pounds heavier than when i was in 10th grade, but i may be no stronger

not sure what it is but my typing abilities have gone to shit. theory: switching between typing on a laptop keyboard and a regular keyboard are to blame

i seem to be caught in the same loop of social deprivation i was in before i came back to school; it's just happening in a more socially-conducive environment now

i sweat so easily. it takes so little exertion for me to sweat.

i have horrible handwriting

i want control over my mind and body. i don't see myself as a body...rather i view myself more as a consciousness that is directing my body like a machine. i feel my strength of will should be able to overcome limitations my body may impose on me through feedback known as pain or fatigure.

i find myself desiring more control over my environment. the air i breath, the light i see, the sounds i hear, the security, what i put into my body, the way i feel.

Memo to myself

noreply@blogger.com (allovertheeowl) — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 01:46:00 +0000

Things I want to pay other people to do:
- clean
- laundry
- maintenance (fixing things, gardening, auto, etc)

Things worth spending money on for quality:
- audio (music)
- visual
- comfortable bed
- comfortable shoes
- food/drink
- health related things (e.g. dental care)

Things not worth spending lots of money on:

House features:
- central waste disposal
- air filtration
- clean room
- no touch bathroom: auto door, auto water, auto soap, dryer, etc

Happy Spring Break

noreply@blogger.com (allovertheeowl) — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 03:56:00 +0000

It's almost 11 PM and I'm sitting in a library. It's spring break, but I'm not going anywhere as usual.

Why?

I can tell myself I'm too busy...I have work to catch up on. The break isn't that long. Even if I wanted to go on a trip I doubt I could find a friend to go with me.

So instead I spend my break in isolation, the main source of human interaction comes through the television screen or the computer.

I want to recount an interesting tale.

I was at a local establishment to watch a basketball game with some people. I showed up late, had a beer. A drunk guy had been harassing my friend all night. He came over once while I was there and muttered some incoherent babble. I conversed with him briefly on a neutral subject, and he made some remark like "Well, I bet if we went out to the parking lot we'd see a parking lot."

At the time that made no sense to me, so I just ignored it. He went away after finishing his beer and slamming down on our table. I was only there for about 30 minutes. We left, the 4 of us and were standing outside the establishment ready to return to our respective cars.

The next few minutes are a bit of a blur.

Somehow, the drunk guy burst out of the door behind me. I turned around, either because he said 'hey' or I just heard the door open. But the next thing I remember was his right fist arcing toward my face.

I reacted by raising my forearms up to defend myself. I blocked his blow...I remember not being sure whether or not the guy was joking...like he might have been trying to give me a high five. Or if he was actually trying to strike me it was a slow, weak blow...which could be the truth because he was so drunk...or it just seemed slow given my reaction to it.

Anyway, I was stunned...I was uninjured but I had no idea immediately afterward that this guy had intended to punch me in the face. One of the people I was watching the game with sprung into action and pushed the guy against the wall...and they started struggling.

Only now did I realize what was going on. I grabbed the drunkard's legs so he would go to the ground. Then we were able to just pin him to the ground.

I wasn't even thinking of what we were going to do...in retrospect I guess I would have tried to hold him down until the police came. But eventually the drunk's friends came out...we got off him and his friends took control of him. And we left.

Seriously though, the most stunning thing about this was the total randomness of the assault. This guy and I had no more than 10 words with each other. In retrospect, his parking lot comment was probably an invitation to rumble, but for what reason I have no idea.

Now I feel even sillier for not reacting to the random assault. Although I defended myself, I didn't even realize I was being attacked until a few seconds later.

If I was really prepared I would have dodged the blow and counter-attacked.

I need to learn some boxing or striking.

I can't think of any reasons

noreply@blogger.com (allovertheeowl) — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 05:11:00 +0000

When you wake up in the morning would rather be alive or dead?

Frankly, I can't think of any reasons why I'd prefer to be alive.

No, I'm not suicidal, just indifferent to living.

I honestly would not care if I was killed tomorrow. It would be no big loss to me.

What's the point of life? Is it an enjoyable experience?

The concept of Nirvana...barely known to me, seems like something desirable.

There's no end to the week

noreply@blogger.com (allovertheeowl) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 04:17:00 +0000

When you're working a regular full-time job there's a pretty clear delineation between the workweek and the weekend. For the most part, when I was working (at the bowling alley) I went to work M-F and then did nothing related to work Saturday and Sunday. The total change of pace for 2 days a week was refreshing.

Oddly enough, being a student again has made that line blur. Although I only have class M-F I don't find my weekends being nearly as relaxed as before. Obviously, I have school-related things to do now which take up most of my time.

It's sad to say, but I feel like the only real difference (and obvious one at that) is that on weekends I don't have class. I guess I also have less social contact with people.

I've come to realize that in life, there are always those who are working...all the time. If you plan on competing with them you have to keep up the pace, but the problem is that the race is never-ending. So you either gotta be in it for the long haul, or just accept the fact that you'll fall behind.

I don't like either alternative. I definitely don't have the type of endurance some of my colleagues have that can just stare at the same book for 20 hours a day. At the same time, their zeal has rubbed off on me...I feel in a mostly negative way that I feel guilty if I'm being unproductive. Part of it is due to my education, I'm sure...you know, all about efficiency to keep the lanes running optimally.

On the other hand it seems crazy to think that you've gotta be running your entire life. There are so many cliches about this 'when you're sleeping...your competitor is working' and the like.

I'm not working toward some great truth here, it's just a simple realization of the futility or endless pursuit we have to choose. Of course you can go with moderation, but that's really just giving up on the chase.

Another topic that I seem to be coming back to more and more...alcohol.

I think just once I'd like to experience alcohol as everyone else does - I want to feel it's uninhibiting effects and just fly off the handle and be irresponsible for a night. It must be really great considering the number of times I've seen/heard someone puking their guts out while saying something like 'I'm never going to drink again!' and then 8 hours later see him heading to the bar.

It's gotta be fantastic and I honestly feel like I'm missing a large part of my existence. You know, sorta like when people say they feel a void in their lives...and then they found Jesus.

De-socialization

noreply@blogger.com (allovertheeowl) — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 03:52:00 +0000

There's a party tonight that's literally 30 seconds away from me...walking. I considered going, but I feel tired and lazy. I want to go bed, but a part of me feels guilty for not socializing.

I guess I haven't turned into a complete hermit yet because I have some tinge of guilt. It's a bit depressing and at the same time, comforting that I've accepted this change. Socializing takes energy, but gives you energy.

It got colder too. It's amazing how much that affects people.

Again, whining about alcohol...

I enjoy the taste of beer but the effect it has on me is so unpleasant and embarrassing. I can only imagine what it'd be like to crave alcohol. Crave the taste and the way it makes you feel. I'd like to know what it feels like to be driven by this one substance such that its presence justifies any event. Go there to drink.

As for me, alcohol has no draw. If I go to a party it'll be to socialize/talk to new people. I guess that's what parties are supposed to be for, right?

All the same, I wish I could just be drawn to the streetlamp like a moth.

Definitely wishing for some self-control now

noreply@blogger.com (allovertheeowl) — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 17:06:00 +0000

Feeling majorly roid-raged right now. I don't use roids, but people might think I do by the way I acted today.

Why do I get so fired up over sports? Why can't I just be like other people and not give a shit if I suck or lose or perform poorly?

It seems like this is the only thing I get fired up about in life.

Why should we get fired up about anything in life really? Should we just be level-headed and never get emotional about anything?

I always say I'd rather take the ups and downs because it makes life more interesting...but the downs definitely suck....it seems like my downs are much deeper than my ups are high.

Do you wish you had total control?

noreply@blogger.com (allovertheeowl) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 03:51:00 +0000

Do you wish you had total control of yourself? I don't mean the ability to control external factors such as the weather or how other people act. I mean the kind of discipline so extreme that you could gain total control over your feelings...sounds kinda like reaching a state of Nirvana where you have no desire.

Any time you felt sad or mad or unpleasant...you could just tell yourself 'stop' and you would stop feeling that way.

You could make yourself happy simply by wishing it so.

You could focus and do exactly what you had to do at the time and just as quickly move onto the next task.

The more I think about it, the more robotic this sounds. Yet, robots are far more efficient than people. I guess these are reasons why.

---

I've come to realize in a day there are only so many hours - 24. Then there are only so many hours you are awake - for most people this is probably 16 hours. Then there's only so many hours that are functional, meaning that you can actually devote them to doing productive things. You have to leave time to eat, clean, use the bathroom, etc. Then to shrink that down there are only so many hours where you have the motivation and energy to do what you need to do. After thinning the herd so many times the number of 'true productive hours' is small.

Productive hours = time where you are capable (have the energy and motivation) to be productive

---

I play the piano. I'm not fantastic at it, but I've played long enough that given enough time, I can master most pieces, even ones that are considered pretty difficult. The problem is that we only have limited time. So while I can master a Debussy piece given several months, that's the problem - it takes several months!

I think, in general, people are capable of accomplishing the same things...it's just a matter of RATE! Rate is what makes things feasible. Rate is what makes people not try things at all. I'm probably capable of knitting a sweater, but the fact that I think it'd take me a year to do it is a big enough deterrent to prevent me from ever trying.

So effectively it makes it impossible.

I realize that in reality, people do have innate limitations - be it physically, emotionally, or mentally. Some people, even if they had infinite time, will just not be capable of certain things. I could never give birth to a baby, no matter how long I tried. Maybe some people can't learn Chinese, even if they spent 400 years trying.

Rate is a matter of practicality. I think the Law School Admissions Test, to a certain degree, is something that many people should be able to perform very well on. I know that's a bit of a misstatement because the test is curved so the average score is 150 (scores range from 120-180) but my personal feeling was that if I had unlimited time (or at least a few more hours) I could have gotten close to a perfect score.

Now that I'm in law school I haven't been completely stumped by anything I've come upon. It's not a matter of difficulty, rather it's a matter of volume. "Drinking through a firehose." I feel like I can process all the information - just not at the rate it comes in.

I think RATE is a key component of what we call INTELLIGENCE. People who can process or learn at a faster RATE are more INTELLIGENT.

What do you think?

Possible upcoming posts

noreply@blogger.com (allovertheeowl) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 03:58:00 +0000

This will be the best 3 years of your life.

Listing faults - productive?

Things I derive enjoyment from.

I care about football

noreply@blogger.com (allovertheeowl) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 00:18:00 +0000

The most emotional you'll see me on a regular basis is when I'm watching football games. I jump up and down, I rock back and forth, full of nervous energy and anxiety. I yell and scream for joy...I curse and throw things across the room. It's by far the most animated I get. Hell, it's probably the most emotional I've gotten about ANYTHING in my life thus far.

Most people probably see this and think I'm a nut. Why would I care about some NFL game that has no personal connection to me? I'm not a member of the team. I'm not playing. I don't even know anyone on the team personally. I have no control over the outcome of the game - no matter how loudly I curse at the TV.

Am I crazy for caring so much about something which I have no control over and little tangible personal connection? I think not.

Think about the things you care about the most...or the things you get emotional about. How much control do you have over them? How personal are things to you?

I'm sure you're firing back with people. You care about people that you love. You get upset when they die. I understand the personal connection - I'm not so inhuman that I feel no connection to people. I don't, however, get upset over people dying. Most people become extremely emotional when dealing with death. It's totally beyond their control most of the time, yet it still triggers the biggest outpouring of feeling.

Why do I have to ask permission to be upset over things? I say be upset/emotional over whatever you want...no matter how insignificant or random it may be. Being emotional is what makes people human. I'd rather live a life of ups and downs than flat-lining at neutral.

Am I Abnormal?

noreply@blogger.com (allovertheeowl) — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 01:57:00 +0000

Sometimes I feel like the answer is yes, in a social sense. I can interact with people 'normally'. At times I might be described as 'outgoing', maybe even 'gregarious'. But other times I feel extremely reserved and shy.

What I'm talking about isn't so much how others perceive me as much as how I feel about my desire for social interactions.

I have two sides:

One side craves excessive amounts of social interaction...that almost amounts to a sort of mania where I want to interact with as many people as possible, all at once. It results in me talking very quickly and switching my focus from target to target, as if I was spinning rapidly in a circle. I feel energized and 'on'. I feel the same way when I'm in an interview...everything I say feels crisp and snappy.

My other side is one that doesn't feel like interacting. This side just wants to be silent and not expend energy or thought on performing. This side tends to be more connected with practicality. It is aware of what should be done (and this is never socialization). It's the voice in the back of your head telling you, 'Don't you have something better to do?'

My problem is that I switch between these two modes very suddenly. Currently I feel like I should be socializing, but just as quickly I revert to the second mode where I feel the burden of tasks more important. Sometimes I'm in the first mode, feeling the mania of social interaction and suddenly I no longer desire interaction. In a sense, I wish the people I'm talking to would just vanish with a snap of my fingers. I want in and out that quickly.

The reverse is true. Times when I'm feeling isolated and lonely I want instant interaction. Of course I may want it to go away at my whim too.

In the real world, social interaction doesn't really work like this. There is much more inertia and time investment needed to transition between the two states. You can't just jump into conversation with someone without a bit of workup. Likewise, if you suddenly just walk away during the conversation you'll be thought of as rude.

The transition has to be a gradual slope. It can't be asymptotic.

An interesting analogy comes to mind. Relationships (romantic, marital, etc) v. prostitution. Relationships obviously take a lot of time and effort. For instance, if you want sex via a relationship you must take many steps before it happens. You can't just walk up to someone and ask them to sleep with you. After you've slept with someone you can't just walk up and leave. Chances are that'll ruin the relationship for you.

Prostitution on the other hand is exactly the opposite. You can get instant gratification (albeit you need to pay) and there's no obligation to make the transition back to your normal state gradual. You can just get up and leave. More likely the prostitute you solicited will be the one who makes the first move for the door.

This is interesting...in this case prostitution allows for rapid changes between the states. The lack of etiquette is forgiven through money. It is a business transaction, not a relationship.

I'm not saying I advocate prostitution or would ever consider getting involved in any way, but this just seems like a good example of how there's a market to satisfy people's desires for quick state changes.

---

Another example of a state change (not social) would be physique. People want to look thinner, more muscular...but they don't want to do it gradually over years and years of rigorous exercise and dieting. They want results NOW! Exercise contraptions, diets, pills, surgery...billions must be spent selling results FASTER!

I could go on forever about this. What does this all come down to? Perhaps it's that people are lazy and will pay (somehow) to indulge their laziness.

Down with the Sickness

noreply@blogger.com (allovertheeowl) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 02:43:00 +0000

Everyone has been passing around some sort of cold/flu bug recently. It's quite annoying. Despite my bi-daily routine of taking fish oil and a multivitamin, I was hit by it too. Fortunately, it's been rather mild. It started with a sore throat, which left after a day. Then it's just been nasal congestion/nasal runniness. Not enough to put you out of commission, but enough to significantly hamper you.

Being sick sucks...it makes you so worthless. I think I need to get myself some Purel or something. At the minimum I need to implement the proper handwashing technique without feeling so dorky for using a paper towel to turn off the faucet and open the door. Oh, and it'd probably help to stop touching my eyes, nose, and mouth with my hands so much.

Anyway, yeah being sick...even mildly pretty much ruins your life.

So how am I feeling currently? I can keep my head above water on a daily basis, but can't find time to see the ocean.

From the berry

noreply@blogger.com (allovertheeowl) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 00:53:00 +0000

It's almost 9 PM on Wednesday. I'm currently sitting in the library. The first floor has this nice reading room. If you look up the ceiling extends to the 3rd floor. There are a dozen large rectangular desks which each seat 4 people...but in most cases (and in mine) there's only 1 person at the desk. I like having lots of room to spread out. There's also some decent lighting and electrical outlets for my laptop. Upon first entering the library the room is a bit intimidating because it seems so formal and out in the open at the same time. But from the perspective of the actual desk, it's actually kinda homey and cozy. Everyone is silently buried in books so there's very little social interaction, but still, the mere presence of other living people in the room is comforting.

Some people jokingly call it the 'gunner pit'. For those who don't know a 'gunner' is a student who is super-competitive to the point of being ruthless. I guess the idea that those who sit down here and study in plain view of so many people would be gunners makes sense. The second floor of the library has the most study space by far. It feels much less formal and also has some great lighting.

I'm here a bit out of necessity. The wireless internet I was using has mysteriously vanished, much to my dismay. However, perhaps working at the library will increase my efficiency. I'm currently listening to Pandora Radio and have a nice Herbie Hancock station going. Nice tunes...no lyrics...all good.

Going out

noreply@blogger.com (allovertheeowl) — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 04:31:00 +0000

You know sucks about going to bars or parties? When it's too crowded, too loud, and too hot. I sound like a whiner, but it really kills the mood when you can't move around...or hear what the person next to you is saying, or when you're sweating through your shirt.

If I owned a bar or club I'd limit the number of people who could be inside. It would not only create a feeling of exclusivity but would also prevent the all too common shoulder-to-shoulder packed feeling you feel in a lot of bars.

About the noise issue...I always feel like I'm yelling at people when I'm talking to them. So music would have to be kept at a reasonable level. And air conditioning...yes please.

Granted I'm complaining about a house party at which I had a reasonably good time, but things could have been nicer.

It's just not conducive to socializing when you're restricted by those factors above.

Throw in alcohol and it gets even harder (even though it may feel easier).

I guess all I'm getting at is the ideal 'going out' place would be spacious, nice and cool, and not too loud. If there's a place like that, that's where I wanna go.

That is all.

Soft ball

noreply@blogger.com (allovertheeowl) — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 22:54:00 +0000

So it's pretty much mandatory that people here play softball. My section has a team and we had our first practice today. I consider myself slightly-above average in terms of athletic ability, but for some reason I've never really played baseball or softball. I can throw a ball with moderate velocity and most of the time I'll be able to catch a ball if it's thrown half-decently. Batting is definitely a weak point. I've seen so much of it on tv, but it seems so technical.

I've always been the type of person who wants to learn the 'right way' to do things...all the little nuances and things you should think about to get the right form, but frankly I think experience might be the better teacher.

In this league the ball has to be lobbed, so making contact with the ball shouldn't be too difficult for most people. The hard part is putting the ball on the field so you'll give yourself a chance to make it to first.

The games don't figure to be ultra-competitive so I think it'll be fun. I would like to get a lot better though so I don't feel so feeble swinging the bat so hard (at least I think I'm swinging it hard) and watching the ball travel 9 feet.

I'm actually a bit more interested in the defensive side of things. This isn't that surprising as that tends to be my forte in every sport I play. In table tennis I've always been more of a defensive player who just returns until my opponent messes up. In football I've relished playing on the defensive line where I can just rush the passer...and basketball I take more pride in playing lockdown defense, getting rebounds, or blocking shots. Part of this may be my lack of offensive skill, but I always feel like defense is a bit of an unappreciated aspect of sports.

They say defense wins championships, after all.

It'd be cool to get the softball team working on defense like a well-oiled machine. Ball is hit, players run to the right locations, catch is made, ball is thrown with speed and precision to the right place...and to the next place... It must be sweet to turn a double play...kinda like blocking a shot into the stands.

Old school romance

noreply@blogger.com (allovertheeowl) — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 23:47:00 +0000

I was thinking about the way I've seen romance portrayed in movies and TV in the 'old days'.

It seems like a guy just had to tell a woman how beautiful she was (embellished with some Shakespearesque flourishes) and assuming he was sufficiently attractive, she'd swoon, they'd fall in love, and 9 and a half months later a baby would be born.

Does the same strategy still work today? Why or why not? Limit your response to 2 pages, double spaced.

Observations of my school

noreply@blogger.com (allovertheeowl) — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 02:07:00 +0000

So far I've noticed the following things about the students at *********.

1. People are relatively young.
2. People seem taller/bigger than usual.
3. People seem to be in better physical shape.
4. People tend to be better looking/more concerned about their appearance.
5. People tend to dress extremely 'preppy'.

#2 intrigues me the most. Is there some reason why law students would be taller than an average non-law student?

Typical Day

noreply@blogger.com (allovertheeowl) — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 02:28:00 +0000

Okay, it's been less than two weeks since I started school, but in case you're wondering what I'm doing with all my time here's a little peek at a 'typical day' so far.

7:00 AM - wake up
7:01-7:30 AM - get dressed, eat breakfast
7:31 - 8:29 AM - Internet, review for first class
8:30 - 10:00 AM - first class
10:01 - 11:00 - second class
11:01 - 1:59 - back home for lunch, relax, finish reading
2:00 - 3:30 - class
3:31 - 5:00 - class
5:01 - 6:30 - back home for dinner, relax

Rest of the night:
- do reading for next day
- exercise
- shower
- relax

Hit the sack around 11 PM

Sounds boring huh?

Why?

noreply@blogger.com (allovertheeowl) — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 12:25:00 +0000

This is going to be a strange departure from my posts of late, but oh well.

Do you ever find yourself questioning why you should want something? I don't mean wanting something tangible like a Nintendo Wii or a new car, but more in terms of social interaction or relationships.

I'm not talking about people and their significant others or spouses...I think the reason for wanting that relationship is pretty natural. I'm talking more about friendships or just friendly interactions.

What is it that we seek when we choose to engage in these types of relationships?

Rainy day

noreply@blogger.com (allovertheeowl) — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 18:18:00 +0000

It's around 2 PM...rain is falling outside and for once, a cool draft is coming through the window. Herbie Hancock is on and I feel relaxed. My friend and mother called (separately) this morning and it was good to talk to them both. I noticed I've been relaying almost identical accounts of my new experiences.

To sum it up:

1. Class is entertaining, nerve-racking, confusing, but intellectually interesting
a. I have no problem paying attention the entire period because I'm afraid of being
called on and the subject matter is so new/confusing.

2. Reading is also interesting, although there's a lot of it. Civil Procedure seems
to be the toughest sledding so far whereas Criminal Law reads the smoothest thusfar.

Those two elements dominate my days. Throw in exercise, eating, socializing, cleaning and personal hygiene and that's pretty much the extent of my life. It may sound boring, but I assure you it's not (yet).

The major difference between undergrad and law school has been the pace. We had two days of orientation and then classes started. When I say classes started I don't mean we just received a syllabus and were dismissed early. We had reading assignments for our first day of class and in many classes the professor never even bothered to introduce himself or give any background. We immediately dove into the material.

The amount of self-learning is also much greater. In college you could rely a lot more on the professor to teach you the material. I feel in law school you read and learn the material as much as you can before class. Then in class the professor highlights or reiterates things you've read. For the most part, the professor seems to be adding emphasis to certain parts of the reading rather than adding information that was altogether missing.

I've also noticed that people so far in law school are relatively homogeneous. For the most part, it's largely white...and younger, maybe 22-24 age. Everyone seems very intelligent, outspoken, and for the most part, confident and fairly extroverted. People seem very aware of their appearance physically...and a friend mentioned this so maybe my observation is a bit biased...people seem to be taller than the norm.

I just signed up for a Pandora account. I'm a big fan of online radio since I don't own a portable MP3 player and don't download music illegally. I've found if I need to concentrate I can't listen to music that contains lyrics. When I write (like I am now) I hear myself saying what I'm writing...so comprehending lyrics seems to throw that process off.

I find jazz (with its elements of improvisation) to be especially conducive to studying because the reduced predictability and repetitiveness seems to keep me alert.

Still raining...hopefully the sky will run out of moisture soon and this place will dry up a bit.

Bloggin' bloggin'

noreply@blogger.com (allovertheeowl) — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 13:33:00 +0000

So it's Friday - the end of the first week of class. It wasn't a full week though since we only started on Wednesday, but I got through it.

So far the experience of class has been exhilarating but stressful. There's always the fear of being called upon and either not knowing what's going on or giving a totally incompetent answer. The nature of the Socratic Method means that you'll rarely hear a student give an end-all answer where the professor mere replies, 'Yes, that's correct.' At the same time, I know sounding smart in class doesn't get you many (if any) bonus points on the final, yet it's hard to resist the pressure.

The class on its own is so intellectually stimulating and confusing at the same time. Yesterday I have 5 hours of class yet I found myself at near 100% alertness every minute. I certainly can't say the same for my previous education. Everything is so new - not just the subject matter but the language itself. Speaking of which, I need to figure out if I want to order a physical or digital copy of a legal dictionary.

I just finished tidying up a bit since I had a few minutes before my only class of the day. It definitely does help with organization to have a clean workspace and apartment. So far I feel like I've done an admirable job - my mother and father would be proud. It's amazing how much motivation can be provided by having a roommate (who you wish to not think you're a total slob).

So what else is going on today...I need to go to the gym, perhaps clean a bit more, and I need to cook for the potluck today. I'm going to make my mother's recipe for Asian peanut butter noodles. It may sound a bit odd to you, but think of Thai food and how they utilize peanuts. It's a cold noodle dish and in my opinion, is quite good.

I still don't know when and where this potluck is though, so hopefully I found out before I make the food.

This weekend will be filled with organization, reflection, and of course, lots of reading for next week. Hopefully it'll involve some fun and socialization too.

Okay, guess I should head to class now.

First Day

noreply@blogger.com (allovertheeowl) — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 11:32:00 +0000

It's the first day of class and already I feel like I don't have enough hours in the day. Of course, part of this is due to my inefficiency and relative lack of direction. I'm hoping the professors can help guide me a bit. It's about an hour before my first class starts - Contracts. I've already met the professor and he's our small-section professor, which means our class will be the only Contracts class taught by him. We'll also only have our section present - so about 30 people total. On one hand the smaller class size should lead to a more intimate atmosphere. On the other hand, it'll be harder to just be a face in the crowd. And obviously, your odds of getting 'cold-called' meaning the professors just randomly asks you a question, is much higher than when you're in a class of 100.

Today isn't too bad, I only have 3 classes, but tomorrow I have 4. Based on how long it took me to do reading for 2 classes I shudder at the prospect of reading for 4. But I'm sure I can knock out 1 during my break after lunch today...and maybe 2 tonight. And I'm exaggerating because I've already done the one for Torts.

My understanding of the cases isn't strong at this point and I feel like I should be reading them until I achieve a solid grasp, but I'm sure pouring in tons of effort prior to even attending the first class may not prove all that useful. It's inevitable that you'll know only a sliver of what you need to know. It seems like the Socratic Method is designed to show you that.

Aside from classes, I need to find time to go to the gym. The gym is really close so there's no issue of convenience. I think I'm also going to try studying in the library because I have a tendency to get too comfortable if I'm at home.

Orientation flew by in a blur - 2 days, packed to the gills. I met so many new people and forgot so many names already. I can't help but get the sad feeling that by the end of this year I might only be in contact with those in my sections. It's probably hard though, as you have the same classes every day with these people.

So far my plan of making huge batches of food, portioning them into meals, and freezing them has worked out well. My blend of rice, beans, potatoes, zucchini, topped with chicken has been filling and not horrible to eat. As somewhat of a foodie though, I'll miss really spending time cooking and enjoying meals. Now it seems like eating is more like a chore you have to do to stay alive.

A bought a big batch of supplements (books) at this used booksale yesterday...they had lots of good stuff and compared to my texts, they were dirt cheap. I've only looked at some so far so I can't tell how useful they'll be. But like Scott Turow in 1L, their presence amongst my books alone offers some comfort.

I realize I'll probably be talking a lot about law school, so I should probably make an effort to discuss other things as well.

Sports - Predictably, Brett Favre is back...AGAIN. How many times can one man retire/unretire? He should just take a lesson from JoePa and keep playing until he dies on the field.

Big Ben - it sounds like his civil case is looking up for him. One of the many people named in the suit is McNulty's former best-friend and employee of Harrah's. Her legal representation has filed a motion to dismiss the case. There's also been some buzz about emails/IM transcripts from McNulty that show she wasn't acting consistently with someone who had been raped. For instance, these emails supposedly show McNulty saying about how she was excited to have dinner with Ben (after the alleged rape happened) and that she would date him if she ever broke up with her imaginary boyfriend (who ironically was also named Ben). I've seen the emails and I'm certain they're real - but if they aren't, someone went to great lengths to fabricate them. It'll be interesting to see if this case is just dismissed.

Okay I've probably written more than I have in several months, so I'll end it now. I think I'll try to write something pretty frequently to provide all those who care about me with an update on my life.

I'm doing well though - excited to be in this new environment - not yet burned out or beat up!

Is it heaven?

noreply@blogger.com (allovertheeowl) — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 04:22:00 +0000

Those rays really make me think of angels.