Things I've Learned Talking to Myself

This Made Me Weep

2012-01-29T21:37:00.002-06:00

Arigatou from Japanese Earthquake/Tsunami Victims

Craftily Challenged

2012-01-28T16:00:00.001-06:00

I am craftily challenged.

Believe me, it's not for lack of trying.

I've tried and tried and tried over years and years and years.

Oh, how I've tried.

Literally dozens and dozens of projects and I have crossed paths.

Alas, I am just like that lady who goes to every Relief Society homemaking meeting (and yes, I know they're not called that any more) and comes home with a gooey, painty, gluey looking blob of crap that was supposed to be a tole painted snowman*.

Or like the little kid in every classroom who always wants the teacher to do their art projects for them because they "don't know how".

The ridiculous thing about it is that I'm so supremely confident in myself that my past failures never seem to dissuade me from trying and, inevitably, failing again.

I am now a Pinterest junkie.

I see all of these things people post there, I look them up, watch the tutorial videos, and think, "Oh, maybe this project could be my redemption!"

Last week I choose two - the kind of projects that only an idiot could mess up because there are less than four steps to make them successfully.

I spent last night and this afternoon crafting my little heart out only to be faced with what was supposed to be a chalkboard book turning into a crinkly, globby, warped mess.

I tried again in the form of picture blocks.

However, since I couldn't find the right supplies, I just decided to do it my way.

Big mistake. Big. Huge.

The only one I completed looks like something a seven-year-old would bring home from summer camp.

I'm not exaggerating.

I wanted to cry. Like twelve times.

I mean, I'm a smart, educated, accomplished girl, right?

Is there any reason why I have to be such a crafting loser?

*Incidentally, I stopped attending any church meetings/classes where crafting or sewing is mentioned because always turns into such a bloody nightmare. Both for me and whomever is teaching the class.

If the Fortune Cookie Says It, It's So

2012-01-27T13:06:00.000-06:00

Carolyn and I met a friend today for lunch.

We were needing a little pick-me-up.

And BAM! At the opening of the fortune cookies, we got one!

If the fortune cookie says it, it must be so.

(The top one is Carolyn's and the bottom one is mine.)

Prosperity!

Coming Soon!

C'mon, Big Money!

Government Agencies

2012-01-26T14:35:00.000-06:00

I just love dealing with government agencies.

At the behest of a friend, I applied for yet another government program she was absolutely positive we'd qualify for.

The trip to the office to fill out the application was awesome to begin with and became even more awesome when the case worker looked at me and said, "Wait. You gots a job? That means you have to have another interview. If you didn't have no job, I would approve you right now!"

It's just outstanding to know that if I quit my job, I could totally live off the government without ever having to give proof of my income, living arrangements, child care arrangements, bank account balance, or address verification.

As it stands, having a job means I have to drive all over town collecting paperwork for every, single one of those things.

Because apparently people with jobs who apply to this program are compulsive liars who must be checked at every turn.

How is that not discriminatory?

Today, a week after filling out the paperwork, I had my phone interview wherein they verified all of my answers on the application.

I ended up having to call her back with further information and was placed on hold for 30 minutes with an update every 2 saying that my call was "of the upmost important" to them.

Don't they have people over there who speak English??

Finally, I was told that after she receives all of my paperwork next week, she'll process my application.

Which will take another week.

Then, if we're approved, she'll send me a card.

Which will take another week.

And then I have to call to activate it.

Which will take another 2-3 days.

If you're doing the math that's at least three weeks if we're denied or over four weeks if we're approved.

And to think that if I had no job, it would have taken 20 minutes...

Way to go in passing all of the laws pertaining to this program, The Government.

Really.

It totally makes sense to run those who are trying to help themselves through the ringer while handing out benefits unquestioningly to those who sit at home all day doing absolutely nothing.

My New Money Maker

2012-01-24T21:42:00.000-06:00

I was messing around with Facebook this morning trying to create a welcome page for my brother's rock crawling page.

Mostly because I saw one on Mitt Romney's page and if he can do it, so can I (Believe in ERIN!)

As I was checking it out, I noticed that not only does he have a welcome page, he also has a store featuring many sweet campaign products.

Including this beauty:

A PIN ON BUTTON WITH JUST A PICTURE OF HIMSELF ON IT!

He's selling them for $3.

Did you know that when I was in elementary school, one of the teachers had a little pin-on-button making dealy-bobber?

And we all got to make pin-on-buttons with our pictures on it for our parents?

And it was pretty much the greatest thing that had ever happened to me up to that point in my life?

I think that one of my older brother's pins still exists somewhere in the toy box at home.

It includes an awesome early-80's school picture of him.

Anyway, I don't know about you, but first thing tomorrow morning, I'm going to get some more recent buttons of my own made.

I'm going to put this picture of myself on it:

Maybe I'll crop it to be just from the waist up since that is clearly the best part of the picture.

I'm pretty sure they'll be worth at least $4.

18 Months

2012-01-22T19:04:00.001-06:00

1. Carolyn was 18 months old yesterday. I'm highly confused as to where those 18 months went. She pulled everything out of one of her drawers this afternoon during her "nap" including several size 1 diapers I never used. I honestly can't believe she was ever small enough to fit into them. And even sadder that I never got to enjoy her being that small because she was crying literally all day long.

2. I love root beer floats. Just so you know.

3. Carolyn has learned to say no. Every time I ask her if she's being naughty she says no. Every time I ask her if she loves her daddy she says no.

4. I substituted in my old primary class today. It's been over a year since I taught them last. It's amazing how much kids grow and mature in so little time. Half of them are in first grade already. I started teaching them when they were two. I can't help but think of them as "my" kids.

5. I also received a calling to be a Relief Society teacher today. Best. Calling. Ever.

Canny McCannerson

2012-01-21T18:34:00.001-06:00

Does anyone want to know what the Dolly Parton of chicken breasts looks like?

Like this:

Freakin' huge.

FREAKIN'.

And also pretty grody looking.

I canned forty pounds of these suckers yesterday.

It took all day long.

Allllllll daaaaaayyyyyy looooooong.

I don't care if I ever see another piece of raw chicken.

The good news is that I totally didn't blow up the house.

And all of my bottles except one sealed.

I know!

Two days of awesomeness in a row!

My cupboard looks like this:

Does it look like a science experiment to anyone else?

Maybe like bottles full of brains?

It tastes alright.

You know, kind of like bottled chicken.

Carolyn did her best to help out by stealing all of my bottling rings.

She thinks they're made especially to be used as bracelets by her.

Chicken Genius

2012-01-19T22:02:00.002-06:00

I may or may not have recently gotten really, super excited about a chicken thigh sale at Market Basket.

I lurve chicken thighs.

I've only recently started cooking with them and I'm having a hard time understanding how I went over 30 years without this level of deliciousness.

Anyway, the sale - chicken thighs regularly $2.49/pound on sale for 99 cents/pound.

NINETY-NINE CENTS.

I'm not very good at math, but according to my best calculations, that equals awesome.

So, our freezer is stuffed to the gills with chicken and we still had chicken coming out of our ears.

Oh, and I also may or may not have put an order in to a bulk meat company for forty pounds of chicken breasts (also a killer deal) a week before I found out about the thigh sale.

The good news is that the Mormons in this area are currently fired up about canning meat.

Specifically chicken.

I'm not going to lie, when I first heard about it, I threw up in my mouth a little.

Canning meat?

SERIOUSLY?

But, after much persuasion, several pep talks and the borrowing of two pressure canners, I gave it a try today.

Let's just get this out of the way: I am now a chicken canning master.

True, the finished product does look a little like throw up in a can, but I've been assured that the taste does not reflect the curb appeal.

We've still got forty pounds to do tomorrow, but I'm all excited about it.

Mostly because I totally made it through today without blowing up the house.

Organizing...and Stuff

2012-01-18T21:27:00.001-06:00

I would never assume to call myself an organized person.

I mean, I like to have things in order and in my mind, there are definite places for certain things.

I admit it, I love having a junk drawer as much as the next girl - that drawer where you slide it open just a little bit, shove everything that doesn't belong somewhere else into that drawer, and slam it shut.

However, for some reason, the past several weeks, anything that's not organized has been driving me batty.

I'm sick to death of our pots 'n pans cupboard - digging every, single thing out to get to the thing I need.

So, I got this:

It's meant to be a rack for frying pans, but turn it on it's side, and it does just as well for your Pyrex pans.

And then, there's the food storage problem (one of my friends once said, "I didn't know Mormons were taught to hoard food!")

I'm trying very hard to make our money go as far as possible and if that means buying in bulk/taking major advantage of sales, so be it.

But, I found that by stacking the stuff I bought five deep on shelves that I couldn't see expiration dates and throwing away all the money I thought I was saving.

And the usual storage options were way, way out of my price range.

Hence, these:

I cleaned out the entire clearance bin of these soft drink holders and re-purposed them for our fruits, vegetables, and soups, put them in order of expiration so I'll use the oldest ones first. Genius!

Jury Duty

2012-01-17T11:56:00.002-06:00

Jury Duty is awesome.

As in like the best place to people watch. EVER.

I thought I'd get there nice and early this morning.

Instead, I barely dragged myself out the door on time with wet hair because Carolyn decided her banana should be smashed and ground into the carpet.

As I was cleaning that up, Carolyn used her clever diversion to plant both of her hands in my Nutella toast and then rub it all over her belly.

By the time I got to the jury panel room, there wasn't a chair to be had and people were already starting to line up two deep in the aisles.

The lady standing next to me was clearly fired up to be there and told anyone who would listen that she was so happy to have jury duty because she "ain't got no job" as she was fired from What-a-Burger last week.

Right at 8:30, a lady got up in the front, banged on the microphone and yelled, "Can y'all hear me in the back der?"

Then she said that if any of us needed to talk to The Honorable Judge Gary T. Samuelson, we should line up in single file in the hallway.

There was a mass exodus because apparently other people who weren't me knew that The Honorable Judge Gary T. Samuelson was the one granting exemptions.

I raced out as well only to be sandwiched in line by Dave and James.

Is there any reason I couldn't have been stuck next to the man who looked just like Bradley Cooper??

Dave smelled like body odor, was on oxygen, and proceeded to tell me the story about when his wife died not too long ago, but it all turned out ok because his girlfriend manned up and went to the hospital to take care of her and then just moved her stuff into his trailer as soon as his wife was pronounced dead.

So all in all, it was a pretty good experience for everyone involved (except, I'm assuming, his dead wife), and the transition was seamless.

His words, not mine.

James was a toothless wonder who also had a dead wife.

And back problems.

Oh, and isn't it fortuitous that he's standing in line right behind a licensed massage therapist and would I mind just going ahead and giving him a massage right there?

And yes, he's sure I would do a fine job because my hand shake is quite mannish and very strong.

The Honorable Judge Gary T. Samuelson took his sweet time and by the time I finally got to the front of the line, Helen, the girl behind James, had given me an entire timeline of her two year fight to get on social security at the ripe old age of 27.

She looked pretty rough, so I assumed she needed it.

His Honor granted my exemption with zero questions and I took off toward the parking lot, with James yelling, "Erin! It shore was nice to meet you, baby!"

You betcha, killer.

Hopefully next time, I'll get to stay out of the exemption line and encounter more awesomeness.

Because let's be honest, I really always have wanted to serve on a jury.

A Can of Worms

2012-01-16T18:12:00.001-06:00

1. This morning I opened the stupidest can of worms I'd ever opened. Carolyn was eating a banana. As per usual, I was eating Nutella toast. I figured Carolyn would like some of the Nutella on her banana, so I drug it across the top of my bread so she could have some. Naturally, that made Carolyn think that she, too, could pilfer Nutella off my toast. With her banana. Or her fingers. Or her tongue. Or whatever. She ended up with Nutella on literally every part of her body.

2. I taught the lesson in the ladies class at church yesterday. I might have gotten a little out of control. I always do when I'm in front of big crowds. I'm not going to lie, I love the attention and therefore, may get a little obnoxious. That being said, I was also perspiring profusely and therefore, had to attempt to keep my wildly flailing arms under control so no one would see my pit stains.

3. The very best part of any lesson in church is when Bobbi King is in attendance. She said yesterday that when we've told all of our family and friends about the church that we should head to the grocery store to the beer and wine aisle because there were always people there who needed to hear about Jesus.

4. I think I'm going to try to oil my hair. I read something the other day about how Indian women always have beautiful hair and it's because they put almond oil in it once a week. Of course, for the most part, they also have thicker, coarser hair than I do, so this little exercise might just make me more greasy. But in my head, it's going to automatically make me beautiful.

5. I have jury duty tomorrow. Before moving to Texas, I never once got a jury summons. Since I've been here, I've had three. Two of them were cancelled because of hurricanes, though. I was going to send in my exemption a couple of weeks ago and then completely forgot about it until I found the paperwork this morning. Now I have to drive down there tomorrow and sit for who knows how long to tell them that I have a little kid and can't be chosen to be on the jury...also because we can't really afford for me to not be able to go to work right now.

6. Jack-in-the-Box has the best cheese sticks ever. Just so you know.

7. I've been having lots of upper back issues and therefore, lots of headaches the past couple of weeks. I figure it's because my posture has gotten really poor and therefore, my muscles have weakened back there. I dug out the old resistance band and I'm going to go to work on them. And also try to get my triceps back in the process.

8. Since we turned off our cable, we're enjoying the use of our massive amounts of DVDs. This mostly includes Arrested Development and 24. I've realize that I've apparently never seen all of the final season of Arrested Development and that's a shame because good grief, it's funny. Did you know that there will be movies based on both Arrested Development and 24 coming out soon? I could not be more excited.

9. I got an email from Amazon Mom the other day saying that their prices were going up 10% and that I am also going to lose my free shipping. That means they've lost my business.

10. So, because Huggies are so expensive, I switched Carolyn to the HEB store brand. So far, she has pretty bad diaper rash, which I'm hoping will go away, since I bought a giant box of the diapers. Don't ask me why I can't just buy a small package to check out how she'd react.

Slash, Slash, Slash

2012-01-14T13:23:00.000-06:00

In a continued effort to slash our expenses, Husband took the cable box back to the cable company this week.

We did the math and figured out that with DVR and HD services, we were paying almost $75/month for cable alone.

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't like we were paying for it and not using it.

Because at this house, we are TV watchers.

We're like old people with "our shows".

And, we couldn't let it go until after the end of the College Football bowl season.

I thought that if anyone was going to suffer, though, it would be Husband.

He'll watch anything.

But, it's been three days and guess who's having the withdrawal shakes?

That's right.

Me.

I keep thinking that I need to ask Husband to DVR such-and-such.

And, oh, it's 5pm and that means Jeopardy!

Husband has just upped his xBox play as I rock in the corner muttering unintelligibly to myself.

Whose stupid idea was this again?

WIC = Wait Infinitely suCka!

2012-01-13T20:47:00.000-06:00

Today was our six month review down at the WIC office.

Let me just tell you one thing: they are not worried about doing anything in a timely fashion there.

I was on time for my appointment and ended up having to wait twenty minutes just to fill out my paperwork because the lady who was supposed to give it to me was too busy telling someone else just how mad she is at her baby-daddy.

The appointment itself went well.

Carolyn didn't even cry when they pricked her finger to test her iron.

Instead, she just started finger painting on the counter with her own blood and saying, "Wowee! Wowee!"

But guess what happened.

I was scolded for Carolyn's weight yet again by a lady wearing a shirt that read, "Breastfeeding. Snow secret it's cool." (with a little snowflake underneath it)

Really? REALLY?

They pulled out the growth chart and made big circle marks on it with a red marker.

As if the red marker would make me burst into tears and apologize.

This is where she's supposed to be, ma'am.

And this is where she is.

Oh, wait, I can't even mark where she is because she's above the ninety-ninth percentile.

I kind of felt like the mother on Forrest Gump when the principal is telling her about Forrest's IQ.

The lady then asked me if I was concerned.

Nope. I'm not.

In case you didn't remember, her height is above the eightieth percentile as well, dumb ass.

So just load my card and keep your comments to yourself.

Today

2012-01-13T19:48:00.000-06:00

Carolyn is trying this new, super fun exercise.

Where she screams every, single time she doesn't get what she wants.

Oh, and there's crying.

Like as in "I've just had my arm pulled off by a train" crying.

I'm not quite sure how to react to it.

No matter what I say or how I say it, the level of the crying/screaming just escalates.

It's driving me up the wall.

This is happened today in between the fits:

I feel so, so bad for Carolyn. Because she will never be that little girl with the cute hairstyles. Mostly because The Mother has no idea how to do her own hair, let alone a baby's. Carolyn's hair is just long enough to get in her eyes (she didn't get the Neff cowlick), so today, she ended up with a little Cindy Lou Who Do:

Carolyn, for some reason, is obsessed with her daddy's shoes. She puts them on and then starts in on the "BYE! Bye bye! Bye bye?" She'll keep saying it over and over until one of us relents and goes outside with her.

This is what it looked like when I took off Carolyn's jammies and tried to change her diaper this morning:

By lunch time, I was so ready for Carolyn to have a nap, I thought I'd take a shortcut on her lunch by feeding her from my plate. I thought that would mean less clean up. Good grief, but I could not have been more wrong.

Here's our recipe try for today. I had some Pillsbury crescent rolls and Nutella in the house, so I stuffed the rolls with the Nutella, squirted some melted chocolate chips on top and BAM! Delicious!

All We Need is a Little Height

2012-01-11T15:56:00.002-06:00

At my behest, Husband bought a stepping stool for the kitchen a little while ago.

Mostly so I could see what's in the back of my cupboards.

And reach the top shelves.

I'm a little short.

However, Carolyn has decided that the stool is specifically for her use and her use only thank-you-very-much.

Because she needs immediate access to anything and everything on the counter tops.

Like cookie dough.

And the water in the sink:

As you can see, she clearly does not appreciate her important work being interrupted.

This has nothing to do with anything, but this is what we had for dinner last night:

Carolyn won't eat meat to save her life but loves salmon. Maybe because when I was pregnant with her, meat was repulsive to me for the entire forty-three months of my pregnancy. And the only true craving I ever had was for salmon on a cedar plank.

Nursery!

2012-01-09T12:28:00.001-06:00

Yesterday I dropped Carolyn off all by herself in nursery at church for the very first time.

I'm not going to lie, I was a little bit giddy at the prospect.

I stood outside the door for about five minutes just to make sure she didn't punch any of the other kids straight off.

Or cry.

She didn't even care that I was gone.

Not like I expected her to because that's just the way she is, but I was kind of hoping there'd be some kind of recognition of my absence.

Nope.

When I went to go pick her up and they handed me her little coloring papers, I almost lost it.

You know, the first-time-that's-happened cry.

Then, she ran toward me, hands outstretched.

And I thought, "Oh, she did miss me! How sweet!"

She came, grabbed the stuffed panda bear I was holding, turned around, and tried to close the door in my face.

Chambers House

2012-01-07T22:04:00.000-06:00

This afternoon I was able to take a guided tour of the Chambers House.

If you live in or near town, I'd highly recommend it.

It's a beautiful old home with tons of character, creaky floors and a kitchen painted blue (BLUE!).

Not to mention the fact that they have a giant fake cheese wheel sitting in the pantry.

Love it.

Oh, and since I was the only one on the tour, I went ahead and cranked the old wall phone.

I'm pretty sure I wasn't supposed to so don't tell anyone.

The grounds are just as lovely.

Here's a peek of the flowers and plants:

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

2012-01-06T21:54:00.001-06:00

Today Carolyn played ball with her daddy.

What's Going On

2012-01-06T15:44:00.000-06:00

This is Carolyn in her apron trying to "help" unload the dishwasher:

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Carolyn's other main goal in life is to eat her breakfast as quickly as possible so she can also have some of my breakfast. The other day, I was eating Nutella toast and told Carolyn that in order to get a bite of it, she'd have to sit down.

So she did:

Right on top of my plate...

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This morning Carolyn fell off the couch straight into the corner of the end table:

Ooowee, she's going to have a shiner.

***********************************************

I was working on the computer this morning when I suddenly noticed that things were awfully quiet.

This is where I found Baby:

I was unceremoniously dismissed with a wave of the hand and a very pointed "BYE BYE!"

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One of my Christmas presents from Secret Santa is a hummingbird feeder. I could not be more thrilled.

Happy Anniversary

2012-01-05T13:17:00.001-06:00

Facebook says that today is our anniversary.

And, if Facebook says it, it must be so.

It was five years ago and boy, oh, boy were we naive back then.

Just look:

No one could have guessed the things that would happen in the first five years of our marriage.

And no one would have guessed that we would be able to handle those things because our relationship started out pretty precariously.

For instance, remember that I told Husband that I loved him three days after I started talking to him on the phone.

As in I hadn't even met him in person yet.

Really, could I have been more awesome/desperate-sounding?

The good news is that even after five years, Husband can still surprise me.

Like the time a couple of months ago when he told me he was thinking about purchasing a pair of Crocs.

And yesterday when he said he is thinking about starting his own blog.

WHAT?

Who are you and what have you done with my Husband?!

It's like I don't even know who he is anymore.

Husband and I celebrated our anniversary this morning by high-fiving it out.

Followed closely by me reminding him just how lucky he is to have me.

I would continue to elaborate about how much I love and admire Husband (because I do), but unfortunately, the 18-month-old proof of our love and commitment is currently shoving dried pinto beans in her ears.

And I'm not making the first ER trip of 2012 for a pinto bean extraction.

Such Great Things

2012-01-05T13:16:00.000-06:00

1. Carolyn and I just got home from the park where there was a man with a dog who kept going down the slide. Not the man going down the slide, the dog going down the slide. Then, he would run around and go down again. Man, did I giggle at that.

2. I drove down to Target today after planning out my shopping trip by reading the circular and clipping coupons. I thought I was going to get these screamin' deals. But then I got back in my car with my merchandise and receipt and realized that I'd only just gotten ok deals. Guess I should have used my calculator before I bought rather than after. I know everyone else already has this figured out, but apparently it's news to me.

3. Yesterday I was going to try to get tough and make Carolyn switch over to the hard spout sippy cups. Because for some reason, I thought she had to. Well, an entire day of screaming, crying, and fit throwing ensued. It was horrid. She refused to drink anything at all and by the time she went to bed, I'm pretty sure she was dehydrated. This morning, I decided that I don't really care what she drinks out of as long as she drinks.

4. Carolyn had the worst smelling diaper ever a couple of days ago. Instead of trying to clean it up, I made Husband come outside and spray her off with the hose while I held her still. We may have traumatized her for life, but at least I didn't feel like I was going to vomit.

5. Husband asked me the other day if I thought I could beat him at a 40-yard-dash. Um. PUH-LEASE. Does he not realize that I'm a former Nevada State sprint champion?! Of course that was *cough* 50 pounds and *double cough* sixteen years ago. But I spoke right up and said, "Yeah! Not only would I beat you, I'd beat you handily!" Now he wants to train. And mark the distance off on the street outside. He says we will compete in one month. When he asked how confident I am, I said, "I'll bet you $10!" And of course, he said, "Well, ok. If you lose, I want ten sassy dances and one of them has to include a cartwheel." Excuse me, but that bet is totally disproportionate to the $10 I would win if I won the race.

Rugged

2012-01-04T15:19:00.001-06:00

The other day we were just sitting around gossiping like a gaggle of hens when Holli came up with this one, "Oh, you know, I love a rugged man."

Then she started listing all of the reasons why her husband qualifies as "rugged", the first one being that he totally gets some kind of camping magazine in the mail.

And, meaning no offense to either Holli or her husband, I laughed and laughed and made fun of how not rugged he is, even after he went ahead and flexed for us.

Not that my judgement of "rugged" is really fair to anyone.

Because there's rugged and then there's rugged.

I grew up amongst manly, gritty men.

I told them all about my brother, Jared.

Now there's a rugged one.

I've been trying to help him write a few sponsorship* request letters to various companies for his rock crawling team, Hooked Triangle Racing.

He builds his rock buggies from the ground up - as in designs them, builds them, and custom paints them.

Then, he basically drives them off the edges of cliffs (or toward the tops of them).

He's won awards and everything.

Ballsy.

And maybe a little crazy.

I guess he's trying to find a new way to break all the bones he didn't manage to break during his eleven-year bull riding career.

I've been going through his pictures trying to find the best ones.

This is how it looks:

*If anyone who reads this blog happens to have an "in" with Rockstar Energy Drinks, Maverick, or Maxxis, and wants to contribute to Jared's outstanding display of awesomeness, we'd appreciate an introduction to their sponsorship committees. And, if you live in the western US and you'd like to view the ruggedness in person, he'll be competing in W.E. Rock Western Pro Series, Cal-Neva Extreme Series, and Old School Rock Crawl during the upcoming rock crawling season.

All the Other Stuff

2012-01-02T22:34:00.000-06:00

1. Carolyn and I were sick last week. As in siiiiiiiiick. I spent one whole day in bed or running to the toilet. It was outstanding.

2. Husband had a telephone interview with Merrill Lynch last Wednesday. We're hoping for a call-back sometime this week.

3. Yesterday was Carolyn's first day in nursery. And guess what?! She's a total bully. She also eats the crayons and tries to climb on the table at least once every 30 seconds. We're going to have to work on sitting down to color at home. Because she is sooooo not into it.

4. Carolyn being in nursery was freakin' awesome. Like I didn't know what to do with myself during Relief Society when I wasn't having to drag her away from other people's bags and snacks. You would think I would have listened to the lesson, but I kind of didn't.

5. I was holding Shannon's boy, Kyle after sacrament meeting when one of the old ladies walked up behind me and told him that he shouldn't grab my earrings, but he should feel free to "grab other parts of ladies later on in his life".

6. Husband and I are on a quest to make a perfect whole chicken. Tonight we used a recipe that said it would only take 50 minutes to cook. Instead, it took almost twice that long. Of course, I didn't realize it wasn't done until after I'd pulled it out and ripped most of the majority of the skin off. Great.

7. My very favorite celebrity of all time, Johnny Weir, married his boyfriend this weekend. I'm so sad he didn't marry someone I know.

8. And speaking of celebrity marriages, the only thing that surprises me about Russell Brand and Katy Perry's divorce is that the marriage lasted this long. I totally thought they'd pull a Brittany Spears and get an annulment after 48-hours.

9. BYU and Texas A&M both won their bowl games. Of course, BYU won by the skin of the teeth (against Tulsa, for heaven sake), but I suppose a win is a win.

10. No body worry, I picked up some of those Christmas Carbury mini-eggs at the after Christmas sale for 50% off.

Because I'm an Old Lady.

2012-01-02T21:20:00.000-06:00

I don't like New Year's Eve.

Mostly because it's just another chance to remind myself how much fun I'm not.

I'm sorry, but I've been an old lady since I was like 10.

Staying up late is just not fun for me.

I've got to go to bed at a sensible time.

And I need every minute of my eight hours.

Also because regardless of what time Carolyn goes to bed, she's up between 6:30 and 7 am every morning, and good grief, I've got to be able to keep up with her.

Anyway, it turned out that this year, both Husband and I were awake at 12.

I was not awake because I wanted to be, but because I couldn't sleep due to the large amounts of caffeine I'd consumed earlier in the evening.

I mean, we'd already partied it up to the fullest by 9:30, popped the Welch's grape, and refrained from yelling at the hood rats for setting fireworks right by our back door.

Have I mentioned that I'm an old lady?

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T21:21:00.003-06:00

This is what New Year's Eve looked like at our house:

The pre-Christmas rain made the sand box nice and soupy for over a week. Naturally, Carolyn didn't mind at all.

We looked like winos leaving the grocery store with two bottles in brown paper bags.

I asked Husband if we were going to have chicken wings to ring in the New Year. Then I said, "It's kind of our tradition." Husband apparently had not been advised of said tradition. And then I was thinking, "Whatever, it totally is a tradition, it's documented on my blog and everything, I'll show him!" But then I looked at my blog and it's kind-of-sort-of not documented anywhere.

There's nothing more beautiful than homemade bread. De-licious.

Carolyn is Bat Girl.

Welch's (which really is kind of yucky, but so is alcohol and people celebrate with that all the time).