Things Lesbians Do

Busy, busy, busy

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea Effin' Robinson) — Fri, 07 Feb 2014 19:57:00 +0000

Wow, I'm terrible at taking care of a blog when I lose my coauthors. I'm not very self motivated. However, I've been getting a lot of comments about two parts of the blog. The first part being Types of Lesbians, where people seem to think I either need to add more types, or I have too many types. The second part being the one about bisexuals, where most of the commenters are quite offended.

Well, I've read your comments. I get every one of them in my email and I read them all. So I've decided to find the energy somewhere in my busy days of working and being a mom to a rowdy little 18-month-old boy to fix the blog. Finding things to write about is going to be the hardest part, so if you've got suggestions, comment here with your ideas for posts and we'll see where we can go with this. Without your help, there is no blog.

So bring it. Help me out here. I'm listening.

Lessons Learned: 2012 Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea Effin' Robinson) — Sat, 12 Jan 2013 15:06:00 +0000

Alright ladies, it's the new year and everyone's looking back on 2012 and trying to figure out what they did wrong so that they can avoid doing it all over again in 2013. Most of us will fail in that endeavor, but hey, who's counting. As for Amy and I, we've come up with our own lessons learned and compiled them here just for you.

Here's some of my Lessons Learned for 2012:

The Beatles were wrong; love is not all you need. Real relationships are hard as hell. They don't just happen and they don't just work. It takes a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to grow a healthy relationship, but the right one is entirely worth it.
Gaydar is not an exact science. There are going to be times when you're sure a girl is gay only to find out, after your best efforts to hit on her, that she is straight. It's going to be awkward and embarrassing, but you'll live. I promise.
Being a parent is HARD. I won't even get into that one here (check my parenting blog for more on this one), but I will say that I have a very different view on screaming kids in grocery stores, restaurants, etc.
Never live with your best friend. Amy and I learned this one together. Living together will alter your friendship in one way or another, and generally not for the better.
Love the things you love. And don't be ashamed of them. People on the outside are going to judge you no matter what. As long as you've got people on the inside who love and support you, the rest can be forgotten.
Put the effort into a friendship that you expect to get out of it. Otherwise that friendship will die and you'll end up like me, with only a few people to call your friends. I've never been very good at caring for friendships in a way that allows them to grow strong and reliable, but I do have a few people who have stuck with me in spite of that. They are some of the most important people in my life and that has made me realize that I should really spend more time taking care of the budding relationships between me and potential friends. I'm a social butterfly(or something) and I need plenty of friends of all different shapes and sizes that appreciate me for me.

I know it's only a list of six(and even that many was hard to come up with), but I think that about covers it on my end. I am excited for 2013 and all the new things it has in store for me. Watching my son learn to crawl, walk, and talk, my son's first birthday, our 2nd PRIDE together as a family, and hopefully(cross your fingers) a place of our own before 2014.

Here's some of Amy's Lessons Learned for 2012:

All women are crazy to SOME extent. It's filtering the ones out that are less crazy that's important. Don't try to fool yourself ladies, you know it's true.
All lesbians somehow know each other. Remember that time you messed up and hated yourself for WEEKS because of it? Yeah, that shit's about to hit the fan and you're going to need to do A LOT of recuperating. You're going to be stuck in that web of shame like a helpless fly for a minute.
Your reputation WILL follow you (refer to #2). So basically... don't be an ass-hat.
NEVER DATE THE SAME PERSON TWICE! I'm sure a lot will disagree with me on this one. However in my own personal experience.... It's never proven to be a good thing. So. Much. Wasted. Time.
Dating is NOT a priority. It will happen when it's supposed to happen and when it fits into your life. Do not blow off other things that are important to you because you want a girlfriend.
If you don't like something, CHANGE IT! I must admit, in the past I was the worst at this. Always something to complain about but never an attempt to change it. Well, what the hell is that going to do?! 2012 was a life changing year for me, and I'm very proud of the the new Amy! (=
Be honest about what you want and think. Being misleading looks way worse than being upfront does. And trust me, it doesn't feel good to realize you've been lied to the entire time. Lets just say because of this, I've officially mastered the art of honesty. Sometimes to my very own demise.
Life is full of surprises. Granted life may throw you a few curve balls, I find it's best to just go with it. Pessimism will kill you, and no matter what happens you make life what it is. I've had some really hard times and good times, but I've finally realized how to be thankful for all experiences.
Surround yourself with good people. When those tough times come up, it's a life saver to have these people. I'm truly thankful to those that have stuck by my side. <3
Live life to the fullest! Don't waste a minute! Always be doing something and have fun! I've had some pretty awesome experiences in 2012 and it's a year I will NEVER forget!

Seems to me that I've got you beat Andrea ;) I'm not sure if that's a good thing though...? Either way, I'm really excited for 2013. I think this is going to be my year!

Holy Hiatus, Batman!

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea Effin' Robinson) — Sat, 05 Jan 2013 22:40:00 +0000

Andrea:

Wow.
We've been MIA for almost exactly one entire year.

I'm sorry, but I have a good reason.
Promise.
Want to know what it is?

His name is Alexander Grey and he was born on August 2nd, 2012.

Woah, right?

His existence is a bit of a long story, so if you want to know more just check out my parenting blog in the Links page, which will guide you through my journey as a non-biological parent.

For now I hope you can all understand that the time I have to write posts is delegated by this little guy.

If he doesn't want me to type a post, then a post likely won't happen.

Other than that,

I'm back to living in Las Vegas, NV and working at Target with plans to go back to school next year.

Why am I waiting until next year for school?

I have to live in Nevada for a year before they'll let me get resident tuition and my broke ass can't afford no out-of-state tuition.

Amy:

My reason for disappearing is not NEARLY as adorable as Andrea's
but let's just say my life has been a bit hectic...

As you are aware, I'm currently in nursing school in Salt Lake City, UT.
I have officially started my last semester and I am already feeling overwhelmed.

I've been so busy guys, please excuse my absence.
It's been way harder than I expected to put normal things in life on the side burner.
But between juggling things for classes, labs, clinicals, work, friends, and family it has made life interesting to say the least.
If only you knew the things I've been doing...
Gross, but awesome at the same time!

I'd like to say that life is going to calm down once I graduate...
(But lets be real, when does that EVER happen?)
To be honest, I'm not even sure how to live a normal life without school!?
What will THAT feel like?

----------

If you're curious about any of the details in our lives, you can check out the "About The Authors" page as soon as we get it up.

As for the blog, we are going to revamp things and get this started back up, so hopefully we can both stick to it and get something done around here.

Here's a few of the things we have plans for:

[Done] Adjust the blog's look. Possibly change colors and/or layout, etc.
[Done] Add a section for my experiences as a parent.
[Done] Finish and publish a "2012 Lessons Learned" post.
[In Progress] Add an "About The Authors" page for more information about Amy and myself.

Of course we are always open to input from our readers!

Drop us an email: andwadinlove@gmail.com

If this blog ran on nothing but Amy and I's ideas, it would die...

So send us yours, too!

And remember, we love attached pictures.

2011 Dyke Lessons Learned

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea Effin' Robinson) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 22:12:00 +0000

Ladies!
I have been so lazy... I haven't blogged in so long!

I could list off a bunch of excuses, but none of them would mean much to you anyway.
Basically, I don't really have a good excuse.

Anyway!

http://sex2c0re.tumblr.com/

It's super cold here in Salt Lake today.

There's even a little bit of snow sticking to the ground.

All I want to do today is snuggle up in my Snuggie™ and watch the The L Word while sipping coffee and/or tea.

I don't think The Gays would allow it, though...

Somehow I just don't think that they are capable of appreciating something so lesbian and cliche.

Maybe they'll accept watching Queer as Folk, since I've only ever watched the first three episodes of Season One.
I could be okay with that.
Hooray compromise!

So January 9th was my first day back to school since I dropped out of high school and got my GED in 2007.
I'm going to a community college with a Political Science major,
though I predict that will change to English with a Journalism emphasis.

Let me tell you how my first day went:

*see many girls*
'Straight, straight, straight... Possibly bi curious... Straight...'
*see soft butch with Superman shirt*
'GAY!'
*move on*
'Straight, straight, feminist, straight, probably straight but I don't even care...'

http://asimplisticreality.tumblr.com/

Yep.
I like to get an idea of the gay-to-straight ratio in my surroundings.
It's a handy bit of information to have.

But holy crap, guise!
There are some really adorable little women on campus!
Further investigation into the lesbian ratio of my school will commence tomorrow.

http://insanelycutegirls.tumblr.com/

In other manners, I was reading Effing Dykes and she posted a list of her friends' "2011 Dyke Lessons Learned"
It got me thinking about some of the lesbian mistakes I made in 2011.
After much consideration, and without going into some sappy break up story, I thought of only one:

Only go to 18+ or 21+ raves.
Never 16+ raves.

I don't feel like I should need to explain that much further...

After asking Amy for her input, I got this:

Amy: "I'd say the biggest thing I made a mistake with was investing everything I had into someone who clearly didn't love me the way I loved her. Essentially, if you have to question someone's love for you, chances are it's not there. Second biggest is to not change who you are or what you do for someone. Compromise is essential for a relationship. Also, after 4 years if you still feel insecure in a relationship get the fuck out."
Me: "Not bad. Learn any lessons with bisexuals?"
Amy: "If you want to write a book, ask me about that."

So what about you ladies?
Learn any lesbian lessons in 2011?

Roommates

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea Effin' Robinson) — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 00:02:00 +0000

http://livinginurletters.deviantart.com/

You know...

I've had some roommates in my day.

I've had ones that I dealt with, ones that I could stand, and ones that I loathed entirely.

Never have I had roommates that I adored the way I adore my roommates now.

Case In Point:

The other day Amy and I were sitting in her bedroom on the computer while the other roommates were in the living room when - very randomly - this conversation happens:

Roommates: "ANDREA!!"
Me: "WHAT?!"
Roommates: "Come here, we need your expert advice."
Me: "About what?"
Roommates: "Douches."
Me: "What about them?"
Roommates: "What is it?"
Me: "It's a bag of water that you squirt in your butthole or your vagina to clean it."
Roommates: "How does it work?"
Me: "You put the tip of it in your vagina or your butthole and you squeeze it, forcing the water into you."
Amy: "Unless you're a nasty bitch you shouldn't need to use one anyway."
Roommates: "Well if you don't have one then how do you clean your vagina? When you're in the shower do you just stick your fingers in there, or what?"
Me & Amy: "NO."
Amy: "Really, you shouldn't use douches anyway because they mess with the pH levels. Your body naturally keeps itself pretty clean. You shouldn't be fucking someone if they need to use a douche."
Roommates: "Can you use it as a sex toy?"
Me: "Depends on your fetish."
Roommates: "Oh."
Me: "Are we done now?"
Roommates: "Yeah, we're good."

http://www.lolbrary.com/post/3759/she-said-whaaaaaat/

I love my life!!
If this isn't the most ideal environment for me as the author of this blog, then I don't know what the hell is. I get stuff to write about almost every day!
Now I just need to stop being so damn lazy and actually post...
it's amy's fault blame her

Present!

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea Effin' Robinson) — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 17:32:00 +0000

My little homoettes!

I have been gone for so long!

I have missed you so!

http://devanndesousa.deviantart.com/

I've published an old draft post that's been sitting in the backroom of my blog for quite some time now in hopes that it will hold you over until the next time I can post. I love you guys! Please excuse my absence. A lot of crazy shit has been going down and I'm currently in the process of an entire life upheaval. Want an update? Of course you do.

1. I'm single now. ;) Hey, ladies.

2. I'm moving a good 6-hours away from where I was living.
3. I'm currently staying with my parents for a couple more days.

Okay, so maybe that isn't that much crazy stuff, but those few things have got a lot of crazy in them. So please, if you could, forgive me for being gone so long?

http://hakukamizaki.deviantart.com/

So, I'm going to be living with my wonderful les-b-friend up in Salt Lake City, UT and her hetero-male roommate. From what I've been told, they have a constant competition going called "Man Points" where you get points for doing manly things. There's a score-board and everything. I am hoping that, once I've settled in, I will have plenty of material for the blog. I mean, come on. I'm single, I'm about to move in with a lesbian and a straight man, and I'm going to be meeting lots of new people and exploring lots of new places - coffee shops, dog parks - and, assuming that all goes according to plan, I will be going to school. Hello college campus ladies. ^.^

Anyway!
I don't really have much for you today, unfortunately.

However, if you ever need to crush a lesbian:

Show her Humane Society commercials.

That shit is lesbian kryptonite!

Pop Quiz!

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea Effin' Robinson) — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 16:34:00 +0000

Alright, ladies; no cheating!

Here goes:

Which picture is of a lesbian?

Answer:

Trick question!

Both pictures are of the same woman.

[and i have no way of knowing if she is a lesbian or not]

Story Time:

So today I (finally!) went to get my hair cut. While I was waiting I picked up one of those hair books that is the only provided reading and was looking through the pictures when I realized something; all the short haircuts on display "this season" are totally lesbian haircuts. Apparently the lesbian "look" is in style and I can't help but worry if this is going to make our fellow lady-homos harder to spot than they already are.

I swear, we all need to just choose a bandana color and always have that color bandana on our person when we go out. Better yet, make it a rainbow bandana.

Vegas' First Ever Dyke March!

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea Effin' Robinson) — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 21:59:00 +0000

I've already talked extensively about us lesbians and how we couple-up and fall off the face of the planet. We all know that this makes it damn near impossible to know just how many lesbians are actually out there. Where the hell do all of our fellow lady-lovin'-ladies go? Well, wherever they go, they're coming back out for this:

www.shedonismvegas.com/las-vegas-pride-dyke-march/

I'm about to find out just how many Vegas lesbians there really are, and you know what?

I'M EXCITED!

I know I was already really excited about PRIDE in general, but this... Oh, this is a whole different chapter right here. These are my ladies; my people, if you will. These are other women who love women and they're going to march down 4th Street and I'm going to join them and there will be so much estrogen and holycrapi'msoexcited!!!

...I promise I'll have myself pulled together by then.

This should be an amazing opportunity to promote ThingsLesbiansDo and to become a part of history. I mean, come on... It's Vegas' first EVER Dyke March. The first Dyke March will never happen here again and here I am with absolutely nothing more exciting to do for the day.

So. Damn. Excited.

Yay! Camping!

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea Effin' Robinson) — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 19:59:00 +0000

Hey ladies!

I know I've kind of been gone for a while, but I've been busy with work and The Girlfriend and I totally went on an awesome camping trip where I obviously had no internet access. Real camping has no cell phone service at all. No connection to the rest of the human race.

That just reminded me:

Us Lesbians Love Camping!

Okay, so maybe it's the more butch end of the lady-homo spectrum that are more into camping, but still! I'm not sure if it's our feminism showing and our subconscious (or not) need to prove our ability to survive (and thrive, damnit!) without the opposite sex or if it's just something about the outdoors that appeals to us, but camping is where it's at for us butchier (and a few of the more lady-like) lesbos.

Also, the other day I saw another biscuit bumper in Wal-Mart and could. not. stop. staring. After admitting this to The Girlfriend and having her laugh at me, I realized that I have become such the stereotypical lesbian homebody that I revert into my baby-dyke-ness whenever I'm in a public situation. I completely forget how to be when there are other lesbians present.

What has happened to me?!

The Girlfriend and I have spent way too much time away from the rest of our kind and it is showing. If the lesbian I was staring at in Wal-Mart ever reads this: I'm sorry I was so awkward! I'm not really a baby-dyke, though I know I looked like one... I've been out and proud since I was like 13-years-old (2003). Please forgive my dumb-struck expression of complete awe... I sort of forget that other lesbians exist... >.>

Moving on.

LAS VEGAS PRIDE IS ONLY THREE AND A HALF WEEKS AWAY!

All of us Vegas homos can finally come out of hiding, take off the majority of our clothes, cover our skin in glitter and prance about among each other while we get drunk, watch drag queens doing Cher songs better than she ever did, get all the free rainbow condoms we could possibly want and just enjoy the general feel of enthusiasm and community.

More importantly, though:

I FINALLY GET TO BE AROUND OTHER GAYS!

Where they will welcome me with open arms and ass-less chaps and bull dykes on Harleys.

I know that us homos get a lot of shit for how eccentric we get at PRIDE events and I know that I've also voiced my negative opinion about how that eccentricity makes us look to the rest of the world, but damnit, right now I miss it.

So, Las Vegas PRIDE.

September 16th & 17th

The parade is the 16th and the festival is the 17th.

Be there?

LasVegasPride.org

FCKH8!

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea Effin' Robinson) — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 02:04:00 +0000

Finally here! Don't be hatin' on the homos.

posted from samsung continuum

Random Work Thought

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea Effin' Robinson) — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 15:50:00 +0000

I've noticed that people seem to think that all lesbians are really confident. This, of course, is not true. So why are we percieved that way?

Is it just because we're awesome? Or is it simply because we're "out and proud?"

I don't know about the rest of us lesbians, but I, for one, am far from confident. I'm insecure and emotional abd very sensitive, but most would never guess it. I can't be the only lesbian who fakes confidence in the hopes that it will fend off the haters. Or maybe I am...

In any case, I think lesbians (and homos in general) are seen as confident because we are out of the closet and many of us are prepared for an attack, therefor we always seem to have this "I'm here, I'm queer, get used to it" attitude about us at all times.

So just to set the record straight (or gay as the case may be) not all of us homos are confident, but we are still not the people you want to mess with.

Also: I'M TOTALLY POSTING THIS FROM MY AWESOME NEW SMART PHONE AND I LOVE IT! :D

We Hate Boob Implants

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea Effin' Robinson) — Sat, 23 Jul 2011 14:41:00 +0000

Last night The Girlfriend and I were doing some channel surfing and found

The Hooters International Swimsuit Pageant.

Of course we started watching it and a game developed that I call Find The Real Ones.

The game is simple:

As each girl says her name and where she's from and then walks down the catwalk, you decide if her boobs are real or fake. Hint: For those of you who aren't very good at telling the difference between real, God-given boobs and fake, doctor-given boobs, just say fake for all of them. You've got about a 90% chance of being right.

While watching 100 Hooters women parade up and down the catwalk in barely-there swimsuits, I realized something about myself: I hated these girls. But why? I didn't even know these girls and would likely never know them, but it was true... I hated them. Now that I've thought it over a bit, I've come to the conclusion that I hate fake things and these girls seemed completely fake; like they had all been spit out of a machine from a single mold and plopped onto the stage with swimsuits and different colored hair. But what bugged me the most?

The implants.

I don't care if boobs are a D-cup or an A-cup or anything in between;

I WANT THEM REAL

I love women. I love boobs. I don't love robots and bags of saline. I find myself getting angry just thinking of all the women who willingly cut their beautiful breasts open and shove bags of saline into them, thinking that this will make them more appealing. Maybe it does make them more appealing to men, but us lesbians? Nah. I think the majority of us like 'em real. Maybe it's because of our natural feminist instincts (yes, we've all got some feminism in us) or maybe it's our complete hatred of being put on display for a man's benefit... Or maybe it's something else, but lesbians don't like fake boobs.

There's just something gross and unnatural about an 80-year-old woman with perky boobs...

Point made.

Homage For My Lovely Logo

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea Effin' Robinson) — Wed, 20 Jul 2011 15:52:00 +0000

Do we love our new logo?

({i})

Of course we do! And we have my favorite homo to thank for it.:

Meet Wade.

Wade and I have known each other for years and he is the most fabulous of all the gay men I have ever met. It is because of him that we have our wonderful logo.

Thanks so much, Wade!

I never would have picked a logo without you.

♥

Rulebook Revision: V.2

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea Effin' Robinson) — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 17:41:00 +0000

Rule #1 - Never Date a Bisexual

Rule #1 - Beware Bisexuals

Rule #1 - Beware Biflexibles

If you're confused, it's okay. So am I.

So, it has been brought to my attention that I have been confusing bisexuality with bisexual tendencies - yes, there's a big difference - and now that this distinction has been made clear in my head, I realize that my bisexual rule was completely misguided. Well, other than the fact that bisexuality is confusing. ;) I'll still stand by that statement.

[For the record, I'm only talking about women here.]

Those that are bisexual are far more trustworthy and genuine than those that are "biflexible" or those that like to kiss a girl every now and then just for the novelty of it. Those who treat bisexuality like it's some cool, attention-grabbing bandwagon are the ones that shouldn't be trusted. At least not in any form of a relationship. The "bisexual because it's neat" girls use bisexuality for the attention and little more.

For all my lesbians out there:

Stay away from the biflexible if you're looking for a relationship. If you're looking for a single night of fun at a club or a bar, then go ahead. Just remember that the hot, straight-looking girl giving you The Look while holding her boyfriend's hand is NOT relationship material and will royally fuck your mind if you try to make her relationship material. Also, any kind of "fun" you may be willing to have with her for a night will likely have to be where at least someone can see her, so keep that in mind. As soon as you try getting her alone, she's likely to lose interest. It's not fun for her if no one knows about it.

Keep in mind that there is also a difference between biflexible and bicurious. Although the phrase "bicurious" can also be abused, it is generally a term used for those who are serious about their bisexuality but have never been with another girl before and just aren't sure. Beware of the setting and the way that a girl tells you that she's bicurious in order to determine if it's being used in the place of biflexible or if she's genuine.

If you're at a bar and there is a plethora of people watching and she leans in with her drink in her hand and her breath so strong you could get drunk from it and she's giving you The Look and then she yells loud enough for everyone to hear, "Yeah! I'm bicurious!" Well, you're probably looking at a biflexible.

Now if you're in a more quiet place with less people around and the girl seems a little scared or embarrassed and doesn't really want other people to hear her say that she's bicurious and she's giving you that [adorable] look that has "sweet and innocent" written all over it? She's probably genuine and a bit fragile in that moment, so be gentle and take her seriously.

That concludes my second Rulebook Revision.

I really hope everything is clear now.

Rulebook Revision

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea Effin' Robinson) — Mon, 04 Jul 2011 14:36:00 +0000

Rule #1 - Never Date a Bisexual

is now

Rule #1 - Beware Bisexuals

Why the revision? Well, I realize that I was generalizing all bisexual women and discriminating against them, I guess. So let's clear things up:

Not all bisexual women are indecisive, walking mind-fucks. Some bisexual women are genuine and honest; they're just few and far between. So please, beware of bisexual women. Your competition is still doubled and I still stand by my previous statement:

A woman in a committed relationship with another woman who still calls herself bisexual is not in a committed relationship at all. She is essentially saying, "I'm leaving my options open."

So there you have it.

Rulebook revised.

Music & Art Festivals

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea Effin' Robinson) — Sat, 02 Jul 2011 15:00:00 +0000

Ladies. :]

So last night The Girlfriend and I went to this thing called First Friday here in Vegas with our Hetero-Male Roommate. At this event there are people seemingly randomly placed on the sidewalk playing all different kinds of music; drum circles, noise from an altered GameBoy, guitars (lots of guitars) and spoken word. There are also booths along a closed-off street where you can find artists selling their art; handmade handbags, paintings, drawings that glow in black light, jewelry, etc. If you take out the fact that it was still hot out between 8PM and 10PM when we were there and the fact that I had to work early the next morning, it was fun. I wish we could have spent a little more time at the booths because there were a couple artists whose work I really enjoyed, but that's not the point.

The point to the story is this:

Where have all these lesbians been hiding?!

I know that The Girlfriend and I rarely go out, so maybe there's lesbians all over the place all the time that we don't know about, but I honestly think that the music and art festival atmosphere pulled all the coupled-off dykes out of the holes they'd buried themselves into.

For some reason (and I'm guilty of this as well) when lesbians get into relationships, they fall right off the face of the LGBT planet. We find someone we want to be in a relationship with and then you never see our rainbow asses again. At least until Pride Month and art/music festivals. At these two given times you'll find lesbians seeping right out of the woodwork. Thought you knew about how many lesbians there were in your town/city? Go to Pride or a festival and think again.

But why? Why do we disappear when we couple-off? Is it because women are homebodies because of our "natural instinct to nest"? Does that mean that us lesbians that do couple-off and disappear are conforming to a gender-role stereotype?! Or are those couples that disappear just locked in the bedroom having amazing sex all the time and only a parade full of thousands of homosexuals and rainbows and glitter or an art/music festival can drag them out of their bed?

This is going to require some research. I can feel it.

Equality in New York!

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea Effin' Robinson) — Thu, 30 Jun 2011 14:29:00 +0000

I know it's a little late and everyone has probably already celebrated, but...

NEW YORK HAS OFFICIALLY LEGALIZED GAY MARRIAGE!!

This is huge for us lesbians (and the rest of the LGBT community, of course)! The battle for marriage equality has finally regained traction! And what a shock, too... The New York victory was the first time that a Republican majority legislature has passed anything like this and adding New York more than doubled the number of Americans living in marriage equality states.

What exactly does this mean for me?

This means that I am one step closer to being treated as an equal human being, because as much as people like to argue that we are "equal but separate," that's bullshit. Everyone knows that "separate but equal" is not equal at all and doesn't work; we've proved that already in America's not-so-distant history with the civil rights struggle between '50 and '80. I know that the gay rights movement may not be as violent and the persecuted in our generation weren't once treated as slaves, but the gay rights movement is also a civil rights movement. All we want are the same, basic civil rights that the rest of the country enjoys. We want the same fucked up chances of making a marriage work. And if I hear one more person trying to use the slippery slope argument, I'm gonna puke on them.

"If we let gays get married, then we'll have to let pedophiles marry children! We'll have to let polygamy become legal! We'll have to let people marry their pets!"

The slippery slope is both ridiculous and can go the other way:

If we don't let gays get married, then we'll have to keep different races from marrying each other. Eventually, to make everyone equal, we'll just have to outlaw marriage all together!

See the ridiculousness?

Anyway:

HOORAY FOR NEW YORK!

You've reignited the fight for equality.

♥

Curve: The Best-Selling Lesbian Magazine

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea Effin' Robinson) — Tue, 14 Jun 2011 20:58:00 +0000

I just paid for my first magazine subscription, ladies.

And it was a lesbian magazine.

Total win if you ask me.

Curve® is the only magazine in the USofA that I know of that is written specifically for lesbians, and you know what? I'm so excited to read it!

That's it, really... Not much of a post, I know.

Forgive me!

♥

The Real L Word

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea Effin' Robinson) — Sat, 11 Jun 2011 22:52:00 +0000

Last night I watched my first episode of

The Real L Word

with The Girlfriend.

I feel like a terrible lesbian for never having seen it before...

A bunch of real lesbians going through real lesbian things?

Really hot women that love women?

Drama?

How could I not have watched this before?!

Anyway!

Today (at work, as usual) I was thinking about things lesbians do, and you know what I realized? Lesbians kick the shit out of reality TV.

We have got to be the most dramatic minority group ever.

Why hadn't anyone made a reality TV show out of us sooner?

Needless to say...

I'm ready to watch every single episode of The Real L Word the moment they each air.

Are you a lesbian that's never watched it before?

Shame on you.

Watch it.

Love it.

Become addicted.

Random Work Thought

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea Effin' Robinson) — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 01:50:00 +0000

Today I got back to work after having five days off...

Needless to say, it wasn't what I wanted to be doing.

However, while I'm at work, my mind often wanders.

Today it wandered to lands of relevance to the blog!

So while I was making a stupid bed at the stupid hotel,

I started thinking about Ellen.

I think every lesbian randomly thinks of Ellen at some point

during the day... Right?

Anyway, I was thinking about Ellen and remembered that

I had heard she cheated on Portia.

I don't know if this is true or not and I somehow doubt it,

but I was thinking,

"Who the hell would cheat on that beautiful woman?!"

Then it hit me...

The general female population doesn't cheat because

their significant other isn't attractive enough or doesn't

put out enough...

They cheat because of the emotions involved in the relationship.

Suddenly, at this seemingly random moment in time,

I had figured out why lesbians cheat so damn much.

Because two emotionally charged women in a single

relationship are bound to have their emotions... Wander.

Not only do women cheat because of their emotions,

but they cheat emotionally the majority of the time.

It's just not about the sex for us ladies.

Don't get me wrong, women love sex as much as,

if not more than, men do.

We just don't build relationships on it.

That's it.

There's not really a point.

Kbai!

The 5 Deadly Phrases

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea Effin' Robinson) — Thu, 02 Jun 2011 18:38:00 +0000

Well hello there.

I'm blogging from bed again tonight,

but this post needed to be done while I was still

inspired to do it.

What are we talking about?

The 5 Deadly Phrases!

What are The 5 Deadly Phrases?

I'll tell you:

"Fine."

"Fine," is what she uses at the end of an argument when

she knows she's right and you're wrong. At this point, it's

time to just shut up.

"Nothing."

"Nothing," always means "Something," and you should be worried.

"Go ahead."

"Go ahead," is a dare. Not permission.

Don't do it.

"Whatever."

"Whatever," is what she says when she's thinking "Fuck you."

"I don't care."

"I don't care," actually means "I care," and that she is thinking

long and hard about how and when you will be paying for this.

It's amazing to me sometimes that us lesbians can be so

oblivious to the language of a woman.

(And believe me; it is its own language.)

I mean, come on...

We're women who date women.

You think we'd know all there is to know!

And while I still hold true to thinking that lesbians are the

best people to ask for girl advice, sometimes we have nothing

better to say than, "I don't know."

One more article of evidence that women are complicated,

complicated, complicated beings.

Rulebook Installation #12

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea Effin' Robinson) — Tue, 31 May 2011 19:09:00 +0000

Hello again!

I just want everyone to know that the blog's face-lift has

turned into one hell of a project.

But don't worry!

I'm determined.

Every day it gets closer and closer to being finished.

But for now, please excuse the incomplete feeling

and the "COMING SOON!" in various places.

Now, let's get down to business.

Rulebook Installation #12!

U-Hauling is NOT an appropriate second date.

I don't know what it is with lesbians and wanting to move

in with each other immediately, but even I am guilty of

this one, ladies. It's almost like we invite the cute girl from

the library over to have coffee and talk about books and

BAM!

She becomes a permanent fixture in the house.

The problem with this?

She's not nearly as permanent as we believe her to be.

Moving someone into your personal space right after meeting

them isn't a good idea for anyone, let alone two emotionally

charged women who have no idea what each other is really like.

And there you have it.

Take your newest lady interest out for coffee or something

for your second date and don't bring a U-Haul with you.

Rulebook Installation #11

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea Effin' Robinson) — Mon, 30 May 2011 05:47:00 +0000

Well Hello!

How has everyone been?

Good?

Good.

So I was just lying here in bed

glancing over past posts here on Things Lesbians Do

and I realized that there are many more than

just 10 Lesbian Rules to Live By.

Many more.

I've decided that I will add installments of said rules

as they come up and combine them into

a sort of rulebook here.

Don't worry, I'll make a nice little tab at the top for you.

So without further delay...

Rulebook Installation #11

Do NOT Recycle Girlfriends

This is a problem that is more than just common when

you have a group of lesbians that are all friends,

this is a problem that is damn-near universal

in every group of lesbians that are all friends.

Generally a group of lesbian friends are mostly paired

off into couples, and of course some of those couples are

bound to break up. Where does the recycling come in?

When someone else in the group of friends snatches up

one of the exes from said break up and claims her for

their own.

Listen, ladies...

This is bad.

Lesbians are known for their mass amounts of drama,

but I do believe that it's safe to say Girlfriend Recycling

is one of the major causes of the Lesbian Drama.

I don't know what it is about lesbians, but we all seem to

not only make commitments very quickly and without

thinking them through

(see: U-Hauling)

but we also cycle through said commitments very quickly.

Lesbo Herds who suffer from Girlfriend Recycling basically

then get to pick one of two fates:

Complete shattering of the group

Becoming a weird little incestuous, we-share-everything! kind

of lesbian family.

Neither fate is really all that appealing.

Well, at least not for very long.

>.>

I ♥ Boobies!

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea Effin' Robinson) — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 19:32:00 +0000

Hello there, fellow bumpers!

Today we're talking about lesbians and those cute little breast cancer awareness bracelets.

They come in many different colors and they support a cause.

Not just any cause, but a cause that all lesbians should and do get behind.

Of course we love boobies!

So of course we love these bracelets!

There's also bumper stickers, t-shirts and all kinds of miscellaneous paraphernalia.

Why is this important to lesbians?

When wearing one of these bracelets or sporting a bumper sticker,

it very plainly states:

"I love boobs."

Is there any better way to support a cause and announce your sexual preference,

but only for those who know what to look for?

Let's be honest here:

Lesbians love causes almost as much as they love boobs.

This "I ♥ Boobies!" campaign appeals almost more to the lesbian community

than to only those who have direct experiences with breast cancer.

I ♥ Boobies!

You ♥ Boobies!

We all ♥ causes!

If you haven't already,

go out and buy a bracelet.

SUPPORT BOOBS!

Also:

Please excuse my absence.

Training for work started Tue & Wed

And it starts back up again this Mon

Mon - Fri: 9AM - 5PM

I'll be busy, but I won't forget you!

I promise. ♥

Types of Lesbians

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea Effin' Robinson) — Sat, 02 Apr 2011 19:14:00 +0000

[[ MYTH: All lesbians are the same. ]]

I hope no one out there actually thought that all lesbians are the same, because oh how wrong you would be. Think about it... We're women who date other women. How could you ever expect things to be simple?

Now, let's dive right in here. Keep in mind that these are all very general and there are still many variations of the types I have listed here, but I'm trying to keep you from getting completely lost right off the bat. There will be plenty of time for me to get into the little off-shoots of each of these types. You may fit well into one of these types, you may fit well into a few of these types, or you may not fit into any of them. That's all well and good, I promise. Every single person is different, and every single lesbian is different as well. Here we go.

BUTCH

Butch lesbians are lesbians who sport mainly "masculine" characteristics. A butch lesbian has short hair, baggy clothes, no makeup and an overall low-maintenance appearance. Most people think of images like the one above when they think of lesbians. Butch lesbians are often very sporty and enjoy team sports such as football, baseball, softball and soccer.

SOFT-BUTCH/CHAPSTICK

Soft-butch or chapstick lesbians are lesbians who still show "feminine" characteristics but dress in a much more androgynous style. Their hair is often short to medium length and messy. They may wear makeup but generally very little and they are seen most often in jeans and a t-shirt. A soft-butch or chapstick lesbian's idea of dressing up is generally a button-up collared shirt and a loose tie.

FEMME/LIPSTICK

Femme or lipstick lesbians are lesbians who simply ooze "feminine" characteristics and style. They like makeup, jewelry, pretty dresses and shoes. Femme or lipstick lesbians usually have medium to long hair and are often the more high-maintenance types of lesbians. They dislike getting dirty or going out in public without getting ready.

BOI

A boi is a type of lesbian who acts and dresses in a "masculine" fashion, throwing most - if not all - "feminine" characteristics out the door. Boi lesbians are the ones that, when you see them on the street, you often turn to a friend and whisper, "Is that a girl or a boy?" The correct answer to that question: "It's a boi."

POWER DYKE/SUIT

A power dyke or suit lesbian is a lesbian in a position of power. They are often wearing dress suits or women's pant suits and are generally very dominant and a no-nonsense type of woman. Their hair may be long, medium or short but is always very clean and professional; as is the rest of their appearance.

DIESEL DYKE

A diesel dyke is a lesbian who is often heavy-set and very "masculine" in personality and appearance. Many members of the Dykes On Bikes section of any gay pride parade are diesel dykes. They generally hold jobs such as truck driver, bus driver, mechanic, etc.

SPORT DYKE

A sport dyke is a lesbian who plays sports but is still rather "feminine." Their hair is often a long or medium length and is styled in a way that keeps it out of their face. The sports that a sport dyke usually plays are non-team sports such as tennis and track. Their style is often a low maintenance one but do not assume that they are low maintenance people; they are not. A sport dyke is usually militant about staying fit, monitoring their diet and exercising on a regular basis.

INCOGNITO LESBIAN

An incognito lesbian is a lesbian that you absolutely do not believe is actually a lesbian until... Well, until she proves it. (Example: Portia De Rossi - pictured above) Even when an incognito lesbian has a really gay backdrop, such as being at a gay bar or a gay pride event, you still assume that she is a straight girl who was dragged there by her gay friends because she just does not look gay. The difference between an incognito and a lipstick lesbian is that you can still tell that a lipstick is gay when you look at her.

BABY DYKE

A baby dyke is a lesbian that is young and/or has just come out of the closet. Baby dykes are usually a mod-podge of many different previously listed types of lesbian as they are just beginning to explore their lesbian selves. They can be spotted by the amount of gay pride paraphernalia they are wearing, which is generally an excessive amount.

L.U.G. - LESBIAN UNTIL GRADUATION

A L.U.G. (Lesbian Until Graduation) is a woman who expresses great interest in women while in college but then ends up marrying a man once out of college. L.U.G.s are often feminists in college as well and may or may not grow out of it after college.

BIEBIAN

A Biebian is a lesbian who looks like Justin Bieber.

KRISBIAN

A Krisbian is a woman who is only gay for Kristen Stewart and is otherwise straight. 

HASBIAN

A hasbian is a woman who was once a lesbian but now expresses interest in men. This could be a switch from lesbian to straight or from lesbian to bisexual. It can be safely assumed that a hasbian was never really a lesbian at all. Bisexual maybe, but not a lesbian.

GOLD STAR

A gold star lesbian is a lesbian who has never been with a man.

LONE STAR

A lone star lesbian is a lesbian who has only been with one woman and no men.

STONE BUTCH

A stone butch lesbian is a lesbian who only gives sexual pleasure and does not allow her partner to reciprocate.

PILLOW QUEEN

A pillow queen lesbian is a lesbian who only receives sexual pleasure and does not reciprocate for her partner.

-----------------------------------------

There you have it. A nice, neat little guide to the basic types of lesbians. Of course not all lesbians will fit neatly in only one of these types. Each of us is different and many of us are a mixture of two or more of these types, but if you were to try lumping all of us into categories, these would be the basic ones to use.

Where do you fit?