The day reflects my mood and, looking out over to where Amber is buried, the heavens weep and the rain falls…

As I begin to write this I am reminded that, usually around this time, I would be giving Amber her lunch. Today, her bowl is empty as is her litter tray. Today, my heart feels a little emptier as I realise that I actually loved “that cat” more than I would ever admit…

I say “that cat” because, technically, Amber was never really “my cat”. When we purchased the property the previous occupants asked us if we would take care of the 2 grown cats (Amber and her sister Mina) while they settled up north and found new accommodation for them. A few weeks later, we received a phone call asking if we would like to keep them. As it transpired, the last occupant was pregnant and her partner was severely allergic to them.

By this time, my ex-wife and children had grown accustomed to both cats and loved having them around. While do I like cats, I’m not fond of keeping animals… but it was a different time and my kids and my ex were determined that we should keep them. I reluctantly agreed.

Over time we became accustomed to having them about the place. Thankfully, they accepted us as we accepted them (cat’s choose You!). They became members of our family. When it came to the cats, Mina would spend a lot of time with me while Amber was always more of my ex-wife’s cat..

A few years ago, my ex-wife and I separated. For a very long time, both cats became a source of disagreement between us and were the cause of many arguments. When my ex left, she moved into accommodation that did not allow pets and so I became “lumbered” with animals that I didn’t particularly want.

There were many reasons why I didn’t want to have pets around. They were extra mouths to feed. They cost money to maintain – especially when they get ill. Having cats always made me feel like it restricted what I could do – especially when travelling abroad.

Also, both cats hadn’t been properly trained by the previous owner and, Amber especially, would often do a “dirty protest” just outside her litter tray if she was upset or angry. Of the two cats, Amber was always the one to find interesting places to remind me of where she’d just been. During this time of separation, I often felt like Amber (having been more of my ex-wife’s cat) was deliberately testing my patience as I cleaned up after her…

After her sister Mina passed away a few years ago, my relationship with Amber changed. While not perfect, she did learn to use the litter tray more often than not. However, our relationship always seemed like a constant battle with me trying to re-train an ageing cat and her rejecting my dominance and authority. On days when she wanted to object, she would leave something in the bath rather than her tray… Still, it was better there than by the front door as had previously been the case…

Don’t get me wrong. We did have good times too…

Beautiful Girls: Amber and Mina

Often, during the very dark days of my separation, Amber learned how to be a “lap cat” (as Mina had once been to me). She would sit with me during my bleakest moments and be there as a companion. The times when I would crash out on the sofa, I would often find her cuddling up and just being there for me. Anyone who’s every been through the pain of separation will know exactly what I mean when I say: “you discover who your real friends are”. I am and will always be grateful that Amber was there when it felt like there really was no-one else during those times… she helped to keep me strong when it felt like nothing else was going right.

Amber always loved getting combed out. Tapping her flea-comb on the garden table outside, she always eagerly jumped up so that we could spend some quality time together while she was groomed, deflead, given a quick massage and made to feel special. While there were times that I felt it was a chore to do, secretly, I loved those moments with her – out in the sunshine, listening to her purring loudly…

Like a member of any family, Amber and I had disagreements. And as I mentioned before, recently she did become a source of a major argument between me and my ex-wife. Just like people argue over “the kids”…

However, I am fortunate to have a good friend who is also an NLP Master Practitioner. After this one particularly heated argument, my friend helped me to realise that my feeling of being “lumbered” (with the cat) was actually part of a deep-rooted pattern of behaviour I’d been playing out for a very long time.

In a funny way, Amber actually helped me to clear out something that had been holding me back, since childhood. I shall always be grateful to Amber for this – without her “being a nuisance” I would probably never have realised and changed my negative patterns of behaviour. Thankfully, my relationship with both Amber and my ex-wife changed after this.

While it would have been simpler to give Amber away to a loving family, there was the emotional aspect of my “little” girl that had to be considered – she really loved Amber. When I’d explained that I really need help looking after the cat, she would do her best to look after Amber on the days she was over at mine. With my daughter’s help and having had some therapy around feeling “lumbered”, I felt okay with her being around and often enjoyed Amber’s company.

About a month or so ago, Amber managed to scratch her eye. My ex helped to take Amber to the vets – after all, it was the least she could do as Amber had always been more of “her” cat. She also knew how much my daughter cared about Amber and I think she also acknowledged and appreciated how much time, effort and money I’d spent on the cats over the years.

After taking her to the vets, we were given some eye cream to try and help it heal. Anyone who’s tried putting cream in a cat’s eye will probably know what it’s like – it’s a struggle and a fight and usually you’ll come away worse than they do!

Anyway, the cream didn’t help much. More often than not, the cream wouldn’t make it into her eye but around it. As a consequence, her eye started to swell. Recently, Amber started going off her food. In the last couple of weeks, she would drink water but not really eat. So again with the help of my ex, we took Amber to the vet again.

We received some bad news: we were told that Amber would need to have an operation to remove her eye. She was booked in for an emergency operation.

Yesterday was the day of her operation. My ex-wife came and took Amber to the vets while I took my kid’s to school. Around 11ish, I received a phone call. My ex-wife was distraught and in tears.

She explained that, as the Vet was about to begin the operation, they’d found a massive incurable cancer in Ambers throat. The Vet had explained that, even if they did remove Amber’s eye, then she would still have to come back a few weeks later to have the cancer removed. Not only was Amber in pain due to her eye but also because of her throat. And so, the decision made that it was more humane and better that she should be allowed to be let go peacefully, while she was still sedated…

We collected the kids from school early so that we could pick Amber up from the vets. Surprisingly, my little boy was quite overwhelmed by the news. He’s never really been a “cat person” (or animal person) but his grief was a mixture of Amber’s passing and the knowledge of how his sister and I would feel. It made me realise that I am extremely fortunate to have raised children who are able to empathise and care about people and the world around them.

The scene at my daughter’s school was surreal. As she appeared, my ex-wife approached her as I watched, having a cigarette by the car. My boy was in tears and I could hear him quietly sobbing and blowing his nose. From a distance, I could see the expression on my daughter’s face change from the beautiful smile she had to one of heartbreaking sadness and then turning away in grief…

Not much was said in the car as we drove to collect Amber from the vets. We drove back with Amber’s body wrapped in a blanket and held on to by my daughter. Back at my place, we all took turns to stroke and hold Amber, one last time – just to acknowledge her passing – before we buried her in the garden. Wrapped in a blanket together with her cat food spoon, her favourite flea comb and a piece of Lego (that my boy hope’s she will play with when she gets to the other side…).

I think it was quite fitting that, unlike today, yesterday was very sunny and the sun smiled on us as we buried her. Amber now lies just above her sister Mina in my back garden. Coincidentally, this spot was always one of her favourite places for her to sit during hot summer days – I’m not sure if she knew that it was the place where her sister was buried…

I am glad that she no longer suffers or is in pain. We estimated that she would probably have been around 16 years old (we never really knew how old the cats were when we got them), so she has had quite a long life. I am also grateful that, even if it were only for a few hours, my family (including my ex) were united in our grief and paid respects to a cat that we all loved.

Personally, I am surprised at how much I will miss her and how much I cried yesterday – there had once been time when I only thought of her as a “hinderence” and as a problem. But we have been through a lot together and in recent times I did actually get to really love her and care about her (instead of thinking of her as “just the cat”).

We will miss her and the place will never be the same without her… And, while she may “only have been a cat”, Amber will always be remembered because she helped to enrich our lives with her warm, furry presence and loud purring…

For those of you who have been reading this and may also be grieving a loved one, I would like to offer a few words that I hope may be of some comfort.

In my garden is a cherry tree (and the graves of 2 cats). Cherries were always something that my father used to love to eat. I often find myself talking with my father and in this way, I remember him and know that he is still with me…

It is in our Memory that your loved ones will always remain and will still be alive to you. How you remember those that you’ve loved – the good and the bad times – are as real to you now, in your memory, as when you lived them. In this way, the people that you love are always carried in your heart and will forever be with you…

It is okay to grieve. It is natural to mourn the passing of someone dear to you. For a while, it may seem like the emptiness will never be filled but, in time, something new will grow in it’s place. Not as a replacement but simply in that nature abhors a void – the growth of something new is inevitable – I would recommend that you can now begin to sow new seeds and, if possible, use this period of change to plant something powerful and positive. Remember that those who have passed and once loved you, would want the best for you and for you to be happy.

Life and death are part of the same cycle. Just as you cannnot have “yes” without a “no” or a “north” without a “south”. They are part and parcel of the same thing.

Death is natural and, as such, there it is no cause for concern. All of the atoms in the Universe are part of the same substance – whether you realise it or not, the energy of the one you loved still exists, albeit in another form. If you have a fear of death, then simply realise that even after you “die”, you will still be here.

If you do have a fear of death, then is it really “Death” you fear or how it comes about? I am fortunate in that I’ve faced death 3 times and survived. In each case, the circumstances were different, yet the powerful and positive idea that I took away (when I finally realised the message these events were trying to tell me!) is simply: “it isn’t Death that you fear… but actually living life“.

I would suggest you just let go of the fear by focusing on how to live a better life! Keep in your mind the idea that you want to live and those old fears will begin to fade away…

Members Only

For the last 3 and half years, Think & Grow Rich eBook dot com has been spreading a simple message of hope and opportunity to thousands of people, simply by distributing Napoleon Hill’s classic work for free.

Recently, this site has enabled more than 20,000 people to downloaded this site’s very special version of this classic text. I’m now getting around 70 sign-ups per day for the newsletters (and growing).

Click on the image below to see Subscriber stats from today!

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On a daily basis, more than 250 unique visitors come to this site, discovering not only the ebook but also the online audio mp3 files as well as the Napoleon Hill videos.

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For those of you who have seen my recent dedication to this site, you’ll know that I now have a burning desire to make this site even better and take it to another level.

Today, I’d like to talk to you about the new Membership area that I’ve just built and the mutual  benefits for You and me as well as what you can expect in future from this site.

But before I do, I would like to begin by explaining why this Membership area has been created. For those who understand the powerful intention at work behind this site, I’m sure you will appreciate and value the unique resource that this site will become.

View TAGRe from Dec 2007!

When I first started this site in 2007, my aims were simple: I had discovered a book that had helped to transform my life and wanted to help empower others by sharing with them this book because I felt this book had the power to make a real difference in the world.

In terms of that “simple” goal, I feel that my simple aim has been an overwhelming successful.

I have enjoyed riches from the huge numbers of people who have emailed to tell me how much just having this ebook has inspired them to think and act in a different way.

These are the types of riches that cannot be measured.

If, on my deathbed, there is one thing I can look back to and know – it’s that my life had a purpose and I already feel like I’ve achieved something positive in this world. The knowledge that I helped to give over 20,000 people the chance to start changing their lives – whether or not they actually took action – is what I can hold onto. I have already provided people with the opportunity for positive change (whether they realised it or not).

I am fortunate – not a lot of people can say they have achieved the same level of success. Through this website, I would like to help You feel the same way.

And believe me… it is possible.

It’s now 2011 and, having recently re-read Think & Grow Rich and re-watched the online videos, I came to a few realisations.

Firstly: One man can make a positive difference in this world.

All it takes is a Thought and the determination to put that idea into action. And if I can do it, so can YOU.

As many of you may now realise, my site isn’t just about “Think & Grow Rich”, it’s about how you go beyond the ideas in the book and commit to powerful and positive actions that can and will change your world.

I sincerely believe that – in this new age of technology – if you have a burning desire and determination to positively change your world, you can influence the world around you.

You can create your own future, when you discover how.

But in order to create positive change in YOUR world (and so affect the people around you), a new type of thinking is required…

As part of my own personal mission, I’m aiming to build a site that will help others achieve the enriched life that they seek. If anything, this site aims to be more than simply seeking “financial” riches but also aims to empower people to Think and then Act in positive ways…

My second realisation was that, unlike the other sites giving away Think & Grow Rich:

There is an Untapped Opportunity Here!

“Think & Grow Rich” talks being 3 feet from gold… well for over 3 years, even I missed that golden opportunity – it was right in front of me all of the time.

And the reason I missed it?

Well, this was due to a poverty of “thinking” on my part. My assumption being that “the only people who would want this ebook would be poor”. A poor mindset brings about poor results. If there’s one thing I can share with you: “never assume anything” – check and clarify your thoughts and work from a position of certainty.

You might have noticed that, in the last few months, I have worked hard to changing this site and I am committed to a plan of action that will begin to help empower people in ways, more than just giving away an ebook could ever possibly do.

In the near future, I have plans to introduce other resources, like a training program to help people get online. I also want to put up a new forum so that YOU can discuss and share ideas with other like minded people.

In this way, I hope to encourage, empower and enable people and allow them to realise the benefits of the “Master Mind” principle. Through co-operation and mutual benefits, it is possible to unite a group of people who can help and assist each other on their individual journeys to riches.

By doing so, I hope you’ll discover your own opportunities and realise how close you are from gold!

My final realisation was that:

Giving Away This eBook For FREE is Actually
Doing YOU A Disservice!

I was actually surprised to find out that Napoleon Hill knew of this secret. In the book, he states that:

“One of the strange things about human beings is that they value only that which has a price.”

(Napoleon Hill, Think & Grow Rich, p78)

The more I pondered this, the more I realised that a lot of people may not really have benefitted from getting the ebook for free. They may have downloaded it but not even read it… because we live in a culture that does not value things that are so easily given away.

To put it another way:

“If you had a cheap no-brand sound system worth $2, would you care much if it got damaged? Probably not. You could easily get it replaced, right?

But if you had a $20,000 piece of audio equipment? How much more would you value it and look after it?”

It’s an unfortunate situation because there is so much that is free, that we do not value or appreciate.

Until it is taken away from us, of course…

If you’ve read Think & Grow Rich, you’ll understand that:

“There is no such thing as SOMETHING FOR NOTHING!“

(Napoleon Hill, “Think & Grow Rich”, p12).

There is always a price to be paid (whether you realise it or not!).

The price of discovering how to gain riches in your life and implementing your own success, comes at the cost: You need to commit to action and spend time being devoted to getting what you want.

But have you ever stopped to consider the real world costs of running a site like this and giving away an ebook for free?

For me, there is a real financial amount that needs to be paid to keep this site running.

This site is NOT a charity – it’s not being funded and isn’t in any way linked with any official Napoleon Hill bodies.

So, just to make you clear, Website hosting by itself amounts to around $107.40 per year.

$8.95 x 12 months = $107.40! Click to view DreamHost Hosing (aff)

I use an auto-responder to hand the 20,000 email subscribers on the mailing list. So how much would my Auto-Responder company charge for this? $149 per month ($1788 per year).

Subscribers cost: $19 per month + $130 per month for 20,000. Click to view Aweber (aff)

Note: You can go to Aweber to see how much they charge. Click on the “Pricing for over 500 subscribers” link on the top right and you’ll get an idea.

So… now you know. There are real world costs associated to simply building something excellent and keeping it running. Right now, I’m not charging for the eBook but that money has to come from somewhere and I can no longer support giving away the book for free.

If you’re thinking, surely some people would have made donations, then there’s one lesson I’d like to share with you (so you don’t make the same mistake), it’s that:

“Donations Do NOT Work”.

Click to make a donation

You may have seen these buttons on the site – well, just to let you know that, in the period of 3 and a half years, the number of people to make a donation to date has been…”19″.Of those, 1 person has generously contributed £150 (around $230).

Total donations to date: £258 (around $400). I’m extremely grateful to each and every one of those people (and yes, those 19 people will be rewarded for their generosity).

As you can see, this is a figure far less than what’s required to maintain this site and make it excellent.

And from these figures… well, YOU make your own mind up about the type of world we live in!

With these kinds of figures, you’d be wondering why I even bother carrying on with this site. I ask myself that question all the time! (I think anyone else would have quit a long time ago).

As I explained before, there are riches to be gained that go beyond “making money”. But it was only recently that I came to my senses and realised that it was possible to both “help to empower people” while “being rewarded for my efforts”.

Many of you will know that it’s only in the last few months that I came up with an idea of how this could be achieved.

Like I said, there are opportunities here… Mutual benefits to be gained. It’s just taken me a long time to realise them and, more importantly, put them into action!

And so, I’m going to offer you the opportunity to join the new Think & Grow Rich eBook Membership site. Before I explain the membership levels and the benefits you will receive, let me just tell you about why this is important.

Having studied Internet Marketing, I know that lot of marketers would tell me that having a big mailing list is a “fantastic resource as these people could be sold a product”.

Well, in the words of Napoleon Hill, I’m trusting my hunches and instead of taking the advice of those marketers, I’m actually doing a mass “cull” of my newsletter subscribers.

That’s right. I’m looking to reduce the number of Newsletter subscribers.

Why? Because I really only want to email people who will really benefit from what I write and produce. You’d be surprised at the number of people who miss out on the great content.. probably because they don’t know that the site is now being regularly updated!

Quite simply, I’m dedicated to helping the people who take action and realise the need to act in order to succeed. Anyone who isn’t committed to taking action, simply won’t succeed! So I’ve decided that they’re going out as there’s really nothing I can do to help someone who won’t take the necessary actions to help themselves.

And, on the upside, I’ll be saving a bit of cash per month by doing this… So that’s a bonus!

Note: If you want to save yourself, please re-join as a Member of this site and you will need to join the NEW Newsletter because you want to succeed and know this makes sense! This is a completely new mailing list and I want You to be part of something new!

Warning: I will be removing old inactive subscribers at the end of August. There is still time to rejoin but only if you don’t procrastinate!

If YOU want to be part of this New Master Mind, become a TAGRe Benefactor Member

Secondly, as I mentioned before, this is an opportunity for me to create some real world social change.

I can only do this by separating out those, like-minded people, who have similar goals and desires.

This is my opportunity to create a uniquely powerful “Master Mind” of people who value and understand the power of mixing with the right type of people.

So let me explain the different Membership Levels. Quite simply… There are two types of members:

Guests and Benefactors.

Guest membership is ideal for the type of person who is just here for a “freebie” and wants to download the latest version of the ebook. They have the option to sign-up for the Newsletter upon registering. If they do sign-up for the Newsletter, then they will have the opportunity to benefit from discounts on products and training but only if these haven’t been sold out to Benefactor Members first.

Benefactors: So Special, I Designed A Virtual Membership Card!

The second type is the Benefactor Member. You may have noticed the saying on every page of this site “As You Giveth, So Shall You Receive”. It’s a principle I believe in. “What goes around, comes around”.

The Benefactor Membership is akin to a donation with more benefits and rewards.

These will include major discounts on products and training as they get added to the site. And you’ve seen the amount of time and effort I’ve put into the site over the last few months!

There’s also a Bookmarking feature so you can store articles you like in your members area (See top left of this page!). There’s also a page displaying your Purchase history (when more products come!). Just click on the image above (or here) to see the benefits you get as a Benefactor Member.

As many of you know, I’m looking to build a forum for people share and exchange ideas.

For a limited time, Benefactor members will be able to join the forum for free. Only Benefactors will be able post messages. Guest Members will only be able to read messages but not be allowed to post.

Just to let you know that I am already working on a Web Site Building training program to start helping people to realise the online money making opportunites.

Again, this will be offered to Benefactor Members first.

So… a quick summary? Are you kidding?!?! Here’s a shot at one:

• This site needs help to keep going.
• People do NOT value things which are FREE (paraphrasing  Napoleon Hill)
• This site is now going to be a Membership site with 2 levels: Guests (free) & Benefactors (Paid)
• A new “Master Mind” of Benefactor Members will be created and they will receive rewards for their generosity and for helping to contribute towards making this site excellent.
• …The New Master Mind will successfully take over the world and I shall rule as the ultimate Dictator… Muahahahahaha…. (Did I say that out loud? )

So… that’s about it. As you can see, I’m in the process of actually putting my vision into action. What you see here is nothing more than a clarity of having a powerful and positive “intention” and taking action.

What you’re witnessing is “Think & Grow Rich” in action… and there’s a lot more to come!

If you’re lucky enough not to have seen Google’s “Black Bar” experiment, then click on the image on the left to see what I’m talking about.

Basically, the strip at the top of a Google Search now appears in Black. It’s very un-Googlelike. Some have said it affects the simple, clean layout that Google is normally associated with. I completely agree.

<rant>Update: 30th June 2011
Not content with the Black Death Bar, today Google as also added a few more features to annoy me! Click on the image to see what I mean…

There’s now a GREY bar across the search area, ORANGE text and GREY icons as well… Why can’t I switch it off? Any suggestions anyone?</rant>

And yes, I have seen people say that whoever put this plan into action should be fired.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m all in favour of constantly improving things. If you notice, this site is gradually getting better and better the more I chip away at it. Betterment, should always be applauded.

As I’ve said elsewhere on this site (Anatomy Of A Problem: The Purpose Of A Problem in the section called “Good Intentions, Bad Behaviours”), behind every “Bad” behaviour is a “Good” intention.

It’s quite admirable that Google are looking to improve their services and make things better for people…

…However, it’s the “How”part of their implementation that people disagree with.

The main reason that I personally object to Google’s Black Bar experiement is simply because:

“Google Have Completely Removed The Element Of Choice”

If anything, it is Choice that make it possible for people to become responsible for their actions.

What’s objectionable is that there’s no way of removing the black bar. There is no choice available. The only “choice” is to user another search engine… which isn’t really a choice as there was a reason I didn’t use them in the first place!

Now, as an ex-Web Developer (and Project Manager) this “lack of options” is really a bit of an oversight. Someone wasn’t thinking. Yeah, fair enough, if it’s 1 guy trying to do a million and one things (like this website ) – that would be forgiveable because that’s a lot to do and a lot of roles to specialise in. However, Google have a huge team of Project Managers and Developers.

Surely 1 person must have thought: “But what will the user response be?”. Maybe they did consider the user response… and simply not cared. Or perhaps they forgot to consider it… in which case someone wasn’t doing their job right!

Either way, putting in a simple “Revert back to White Bar” option, under the settings is easy enough to do (I know… I’m ex-Dev!).In fact, if they even gave us the option to change the colours to what we’d prefer, then they may have had a more favourable reaction.

So, why wasn’t it done? Who knows…

Back in the 80s, Pepsi did a taste test called the “Pepsi Challenge”. The results were that, on a blind taste test, people really did prefer Pepsi over Coke.

Coca-Cola then went on to change the flavour of their Original Recipe (or am I talking about chicken here…?) and was met with a very unfavourable response.

People petitioned against the new Coke taste. There were marches and demonstrations. Why? Because Coke wasn’t just about the “taste” – there was a whole load more to do with it’s branding and what the brand represented to people.

70 odd days later, Coke did a major u-turn on their decision and came back with “Coca Cola Classic”. They were forgiven and all was right in the world again…

Well, a very subtle sub-text to “Think and Grow Rich” is one of responsibility. If you’ve not read it all yet, then sign-up on this site and download a copy from the homepage.

A general summary of this sub-text would be:

• In order to become “enriched” (this doesn’t necessary mean financial), you need to “Think” clearly.
• Thinking clearly comes when you change the way you think.
• When you become “clear” (decisive, motivated etc.), you actually have Choice.
• Choice (and deciding your path through life) is about Responsibility.

I believe that if you remove the element of Choice then it’s impossible for people to act responsibly and make decisions that will help to enrich people’s lives (their own and people around them).

Having Choice is important.

I hope that Google see’s that they do need to do something – i.e. listen to customers – bring back the element of Choice.

For the next 30 seconds, make yourself comfortable, sit back and watch this amazing advertising classic (click on the image to play “The Guardian’s: Points Of View” video).

As you watch the advert, pay close attention to what you’re experiencing.

• What are your thoughts as each scene unfolds?
• What prejudices do you hold that you may not have noticed before?
• What did you feel immediately after the advert finished?

Keep these questions in the back of your mind as you watch the video…

One of the most powerful things that this advert does is to play upon the viewer’s prejudice of Skinheads.

In Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) this type of assumption is called a “Presupposition”. For the most part, in our lives, we tend to hold a particular perspective and never really question what we think is true. We make assumptions and, as the advert demonstrates, it’s often easy to jump to the wrong conclusions because “we think we know what’s going on”.

The other thing that this advert does wonderfully is to shift our point of view so that we have to consider the other perspectives.

In the first part, the Skinhead looks like he’s trying to run away. In the second, he appears to be mugging someone. In the final part, we’re made to consider everything that we had previously assumed and we “get the big picture”.

In NLP, this movement from one perspective to another is called a “Content Reframe“. The situation remains the same but, from digging a little deeper, we find more meaning when we change the focus of attention.

I’m going to set you an exercise. If you’re experiencing a problem with relationships at the moment, this is a good exercise to help start shifting any negative assumptions that you may hold.

I want you to imagine a situation where you currently have a problem in a relationship – perhaps you get angry or frustrated with someone in your office or at home. If you don’t have a problem now, then maybe go back to a time when you did have one and just notice what happens as you do this exercise…

When you have a situation (or even a past event), I want you to consider the following things:

1. What’s “the story” when it’s played out from Your perspective.
   This is the story you normally tell yourself. It’s the one where it makes it easier to blame someone else…
2. What’s the story when you see it from the Other Person’s perspective?
   Step into the other person’s shoes for a moment and look back at yourself. What do you notice, now? What are they feeling about the situation? What can you learn from seeing things differently?
3. What’s the story like when you view it from the perspective of a fly on the wall?
   If you were a completely impartial observer, watching both people, what happens now? Can you see what’s not being properly communicated by both parties? What can you notice that they’re not expressing? What could they both be doing to resolve the situation?

After you’ve stepped through all 3 positions, just consider what you now understand. You may or may not have gained a new, more powerful, understanding of what you used to experience. What you definitely have done is to carefully reflect on the event, so that a new way of thinking can now develop.

There are times when I’m asked questions by my kids like, “Dad, what’s the capital of X?” or “What does Y mean?” or even “How does Z work?”. Usually, if I know the answer (and I’m feeling generous), I’ll tell them the answer. If I don’t know the answer and I’m feeling a bit cheeky, I’ll just make something up until they question if what I’m telling them is really “true”…

Recently, I’ve been trying to stop this habit of telling them the correct answer. Yes, you read that right… I’m trying to STOP telling my kids what the answer is.

Now, before you jump to conclusions and assume I’m a “Bad Dad” for failing to educate my children, allow me to explain why I’m trying to change this habit.

And NO, I’m not the type of parent who thinks: “I’ll just leave the education part to the school system”. I actually like teaching and seeing that wonderful curiosity that comes from discovering something new and exciting.

Education is a wonderful thing… if it’s done correctly.

More often than not, my children ask me things when they’re sitting right in front of the computer. Now, I find this extremely infuriating.

Not so much because they’ll ask me stuff I don’t actually know. I’m actually fine being honest and telling my kids “I don’t know. What am I? An Encyclopedia?!?”.

And it’s not because they’re asking stupid questions. Being bright kids, there are times when they ask me things that make me reply: “That’s an excellent question!”. If you have kids, you’ll know that sometimes their perspectives on the world can really make you question what you previously believed.

Personally, I’m not the type of person to believe that there’s ever a dumb or stupid question. At some point, we’re all beginners and simply don’t know the answer. However, NOT asking a question - well, that’s really dumb and definitely will keep you stupid! It’s a choice…

So what if someone laughs because you don’t know the answer, right now, but as soon as you get it you’re a lot smarter than you were a few minutes ago!

Positivi-Tip: If you’re in college or learning in a class, the best thing to do is to “ask questions” and get the answer you need. I’ll guarantee you that there’s someone else thinking “Thank God they asked the question… I haven’t got a freakin’ clue what’s going on!”. If necessary (like having too many questions or the questions are holding the class up), then just make a note of your questions and then make time to ask the teacher to explain. It’s not a waste of the teacher’s time – that’s their job!

So why do I find the behaviour of asking me questions while sitting in front of the computer so infuriating? Because “we have the Internet!”.

And not just some crappy connection either! A very decent, broadband connection as having a fast upload speed was essential for the type of work that I used to do.

The reason why I find it so frustrating is that any specialised knowledge you seek can now be found!

There’s this thing, right, called “Google” (and other search engines) which do an excellent job of showing you where you can find what you want to know. We live in a world where you literally have “information at your fingertips”.

Better than that – a great proportion of the information that you can find is absolutely, 100% FREE. There’s bucket loads of the stuff – so much information that it would take several lifetimes to read, listen or watch all of it!

No matter what your “learning preference” is – whether you like to be hands on; listen and learn; see things being demonstrated or just like to read things – you can find tutorials that will show you how in the way that you prefer to learn. The Internet has really revolutionalised how we live…

So, why is it that people take this wealth of information for granted?

As Napoleon puts it: “Anything acquired without effort, and without cost is generally unappreciated, often discredited;” (p. 78). There is a cost to obtaining free education and also an associated price attached to the over-abundance of information:

We have in this country what is said to be the greatest public school system in the world. We have invested fabulous sums for fine buildings, we have provided convenient transportation for children living in the rural districts, so they may attend the best schools, but there is one astounding weakness to this marvelous system— IT IS FREE! One of the strange things about human beings is that they value only that which has a price. The free schools of America, and the free public libraries, do not impress people because they are free. This is the major reason why so many people find it necessary to acquire additional training after they quit school and go to work.

(“Think & Grow Rich”, p.78)

This is a truth. I can confirm and will tell you (from experience) that Napoleon Hill is absolutely right. People do NOT value “FREE” (I will tell you why in another post).

The true cost of knowledge isn’t how much money you spend on obtaining it (free or paid). The’s a price you pay by not realising that you have so much of it and making it become meaningless. The inability to realise the riches all around you is one way in which you will keep yourself in the Poverty Mindset.

The rewards that will come to you from obtaining the right information isn’t “knowledge” or “wisdom”. True wisdom is the application of knowledge – using what you know is far more important than “just knowing it”.

(*cough*… cheeky editorial note: “Make a Donation”, if you realise the true value you already have before you… *cough*)

My little girl (I say “little”, she’s 14 but she’ll always be “little” to me) is an absolute wizard when it comes to enhancing digital photographs. Okay, so she’s got an advantage because as part of my old work I needed to have Photoshop… but she found tutorials and taught herself how to manipulate digital images.

Yes, she actually took all of a few seconds to type in the words “photoshop tutorials”. Then she spent several hours just playing and discovering cool effects to add to her photos.

Positivi-Tip: If you find learning something new difficult, then here’s something I’d like to share with you about how my little girl learns. She doesn’t see it or think of it as “learning” – she’s just “playing”! Quite simply, all you need to do is to enjoy the process – you’ll find you learn a lot faster from messing about with things rather than thinking “I must learn this”. Again, I cannot stress enough the importance of “taking action” and putting to work the things that you know…

So let me make this clear.

If you are sitting in your seat right now, reading this blog post, then YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE to say “I don’t have enough education”. No, really, you can stick that excuse in a dark place devoid of natural sunlight…

Right now – this very moment – you are sitting (or standing) in front of one of the most powerful sources of information that has ever existed.

The riches that you seek are at your fingertips.

If you’re still not convinced, then I’ll leave you with one word (slang) which may help you to be convinced of the power of choice and action: “Gimf” (a term that a lot of Techie-types may be familiar with. Note: if you’re easily offended, it is a bit sweary).

You know where you can find it… And if you really can’t be bothered to find out, click here.