Think Bible Thoughts

Giving Joyfully To Others

2011-11-11T06:01:00.002-05:00

Romans 12:6-10 "In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly. Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other."

Whether you know what it is or you're still in the process of figuring it out, God has equipped all Christians with a gift of some sort, and we are to use these gifts with a selfless and giving heart. When we do this, it allows us to show others a glimpse of God and his love by our actions, ultimately allowing us to glorify Him.

Some time ago, I found myself treating people I had just met better than I would treat my own wife. I couldn't understand why my attitude was so harsh when there was any sign of conflict or stress. Especially when all my anger or bitterness was unloaded on the person that loved me most.

With that being said, I'd like to challenge you with a couple questions:

1- "Do you go out of your way to show love to others?"

2- "Do you feel any joy or happiness when see people being loved by you?"

These are the same questions I had asked myself when I came to the conclusion that I needed to change my approach in a major way. I found out that I actually did find joy and happiness in the response to the love I showed people, especially when that person was my wife. I thought I was joyful when it was just someone I barely new, I actually felt true happiness when my wife was on the receiving end of my love and it made me want to do it as often as possible.

What can you continue or begin to do on a more regular basis to change the way you treat each other with love as God has called us to? Remember that our love is supposed to be genuine and not pretend, so I challenge you to be mindful of the way you can affect other people by your love.

~Nick~

Power, Love, and Self-Discipline

2011-11-04T12:09:00.000-04:00

2 Timothy 1:7 “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”

There are so many of us Christians out there allowing fear to control the things they do or don’t do in moments that God can truly prevail. If we continue to allow that fear to control us, it will eventually reveal itself making us timid in everything we do, and completely take over our lives. What Paul wrote in the above verse in 2 Timothy is a great reminder to all of us that fear and timidity isn’t of God. In fact, it’s the exact opposite. God has given us a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline and we are to use those things to glorify Him in all that we do.

So I challenge you to think very seriously about your fears and those things that cause you to be timid in moments where you could glorify God and spread the gospel……ask yourself, what are you afraid of…..and why?

~Nick~

Training With A Cause

2011-09-19T06:27:00.000-04:00

1 Timothy 4:7-13, 16 – “Do not waste time arguing over godless ideas and old wives’ tales. Instead, train yourself to be godly. “Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come.” This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it. This is why we work hard and continue to struggle, for our hope is in the living God, who is the Savior of all people and particularly of all believers. Teach these things and insist that everyone learn them. Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity. Until I get there, focus on reading the Scriptures to the church, encouraging the believers, and teaching them. Keep a close watch on how you live and on your teaching. Stay true to what is right for the sake of your own salvation and the salvation of those who hear you.”

You can probably imagine how hard professional athletes have to train over the span of their careers so they can continue to play at the highest level for as long as they can. If you looked at your walk with Christ and the “training” you do on a daily basis to be a good example to others in what you say, how you live, how you love, in your faith, and your purity?

Do you think you are ready to go? Paul tells Timothy how good it is to be physically trained, but godliness is much better, and that he insists everyone learn how to. Some of us are willing to do the necessary training but the first sign of struggle or when times get tough, we tend to let ourselves get in the way of our training.

We tend to train just enough to do what we have to do and nothing more. Paul says in verse 16 that we should stay true to what is right for the sake of our salvation and others who may hear us. Does this change your idea of how hard you need to begin training for godliness? What is it that you need to do more of?

Paul tells Timothy to “focus” on reading scriptures to the church, encourage other believers, and teach them while keeping an eye on himself. What can you “focus” on to so you can begin your training for godliness?

~Nick~

A Weapon of Mass Destruction

2011-09-16T06:04:00.002-04:00

I think it's pretty safe to assume that most marriages out there have seen an instance where sex was used as a weapon at some point in time, right? For example, when a BIG argument breaks out and the individual who is "wrong", just won't admit it or apologize, and the other

individual who is "right" rules out "SEX" for a night or two.

Obviously there are a ton of different tactics and what I like to call, "weapons", that we use to make a point in an argument. The worst weapon is withholding sex from one another and Paul explains that in 1 Corinthians 7:2-5. Paul mentions in that scripture how Satan can tempt us with sexual immorality because our lack of self-control when we go without sexual relations with our spouse. That’s when sex becomes what I like to call “A Weapon of Mass

Destruction.”

Sometimes the tactic of withholding sex can turn into a bad habit where we decide to do it on a regular basis because you think it’s effective! As Christians we are called to fulfill our spouse's sexual needs, and more importantly, we give authority over our body to them as well. At what point do we stop using sex as weapon and begin to fulfill our biblical role in that department?

It’s all about our actions and how we react to the situation. If things are getting to a point and you feel that you are going to say things simply to hurt your sposue, it's probably best to call a time-out or take a step back and come back to it when you both have cooler heads. A simple solution is to show your spouse that you love them, regardless of the issue or the misunderstanding, and your goal is to solve the problem and not hurt them or your marriage.

Ephesians 4:1-4 - Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future

Ephesians 4:31-32 - Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

Don’t wait until tomorrow….Start serving your spouse today!

~Nick~

Finding The Reward In Life's Trials

2011-08-12T23:34:00.005-04:00

1 Peter 6-9 (NLT): So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see him now, you trust him; and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy. The reward for trusting him will be the salvation of your souls.

There are many times as Christians where we'll feel confused and unsure of our what God is doing in our life. This usually happens when something big happens in our lives that leaves us feeling disconnected from God. What is it about trials that leave us questioning our relationship with God? Why do we do this when we are clearly told that we will endure them in our walk with Christ? And why is it not enough for us to know that when we remain faithful and come out victorious in those trials that it will bring MUCH glory and honor to God?

We need to make a conscience effort to focus on the amazing fact that our reward for trusting in God and remaining faithful to Him, when we face those trials, is salvation. We shouldn't need anything else and we should be excited to show God just how faithful we are and glorify Him in all we do. Will that be enough for you when your next trial comes calling?

~Nick~

Marital Change Is Inevitable

2011-08-06T12:48:00.000-04:00

Have you ever found yourself worrying about the future of your marriage because you and your spouse were growing apart? I think everyone has this fear at some point in there marriage but I don't think too many make an effort to understand why this has happened. Maybe you and your spouse aren't talking enough or it feels as if you are becoming two very different people to continue being a couple. Unfortunately, this is where many people give up on their marriage because they think it's "unfixable."

Christians who find themselves in this situation have to take a step back and trust that God is in control. Far too many marriages end because people simply think change is bad. Remember, even though you might be surprised by your new circumstances, God isn’t. The Christian walk, after all, is all about growth and change.

Change is uncomfortable. It can leave us butting heads, feeling insecure, and scrambling to find reasons to believe that our marriage can't survive. But, in God, we can find perfect peace in the midst of any circumstance. Christ tells us in Luke 9:22, “You must take up your cross daily and follow me.” This means our surroundings are going to be constantly changing!

Marriage is very similar. There are going to be times in our marriages where we notice change in ourselves and our spouse. When we notice these changes, they are going to require us to “take up our cross daily”, do not lose your joy or let it turn us upside down. We can be certain that we are walking towards something spectacular when we depend on Jesus to lead the way.

The Devil would love for you to believe that this is it for your marriage. He would love to have you think that things will never get better. That's when we have to remember that God already told us the Devil is a liar. John 8:44 says "He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature; for he is a liar, and the father of lies." Not only does God tell us he is a liar. He tells us Satan is "the father of lies". There is no truth in him at all, not even a little morsel.

God has a perfect plan for your life and your marriage. You were created with purpose and joined together with reason. God honors who you are as an individual, and He also honors your spouse as one . . . but together He saw that you could be MORE. He placed you together with a purpose. Even when it feels like you are growing apart, if you’ll keep a steady ear on the one who joined you together, you’ll find that any growing you do can be done together.

Don't wait until tomorrow.....Start serving your spouse today!

~Nick~

Submission - A Woman’s Struggle

2011-08-02T08:15:00.001-04:00

Submission is perfected when both the husband and wife is committed to being completely unselfish and putting each others needs before their own. Encouraging one another on a regular basis is a great way to show your spouse the type of love that Christ had. When the husband and wife give their best effort to honor each other in marriage to create something better than either could do alone. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)

Maybe submission wouldn't be such a struggle with women if they're be treated the way God intended? No woman on this planet would reject or disrespect her husband who consistently put her needs over his own. That is how husbands are to treat their wife, just as Christ loved the church. If each of you follows Christ's example of humility toward the other, submission in marriage isn't oppressive at all. It's beautiful—and freeing. (Ephesians 4:2-7)

A wife is to think of her husband's needs first, and a husband is to model Christ's sacrificial love by serving his wife. If your marriage is less than ideal and your husband doesn't always love you with sacrificial love, remember you are also married to Jesus Christ; he is your first love. (Ephesians 5:21-33)

Jesus laid aside his rights as God to become human so he could bear the penalty of sin in your place. He still loves us the same when we sin or slip up. Ladies, you are still called to put your husband first, even when his love is not so perfect. Love covers a multitude of sins, and some days it may be your husband who's loving his not-so-grateful wife, but bares the same responsibility. (Philippians 2:1-11)

Nick

Love, Knowledge, & Understanding

2011-07-29T08:15:00.001-04:00

Philippians 1:9-10 - "I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding. For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ’s return."

Paul gives us pretty clear instructions on what we can do to bring "much" glory to God (vs.11) when we do these things. But are these things really as simple as they seem? I'm going to take a different approach to drive a point home because this always seems to work for me when I want to challenge myself to spiritual growth. Now, take the meaning of the words that Paul uses in love, overflow, knowledge, and understanding. The only action word is overflow!

Are you overflowing? Are you overflowing with knowledge and understanding on the subject of love? Ephesians 5:1-2 tells us to live a life filled with love and to imitate God in all that we do. Is this something that your overflowing with, and if not, what do you need to change about yourself to make room for God?

~Nick~

Definitions:

Love: (noun) - An intense feeling of deep affection

Overflow (verb) - To be filled beyond capacity

Knowledge: (noun) - The theoretical or practical understanding of a subject

Understanding: (noun) - The ability to understand something

God's Will For You

2011-07-16T06:00:00.001-04:00

1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 (NLT) - "God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor— not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways. Never harm or cheat a Christian brother in this matter by violating his wife, for the Lord avenges all such sins, as we have solemnly warned you before. God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives. Therefore, anyone who refuses to live by these rules is not disobeying human teaching but is rejecting God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you."

God's will is something every Christian "seeks" but has a difficult time trying to determine what that is exactly. When you look at your current spiritual position as husband or wife, do you know what God's will is for you? 1 Thessalonians 4:3 tells us to be holy and to specifically to stay away from sexual sin, then in verse 7, we are told again to "live holy lives, not impure lives." So, I ask you, "Are you following God's will in your life?" Sexual sin can have an overwhelming hold on anyone and the best way to defeat it is to remove it from your mind. Put off the sin in question and put something Godly in it's place. Maybe reading the bible when urges strike or grab a pen and paper and write a letter to God letting him know your struggle and turn that into a prayer.

2 Timothy 2:21-22 tells us "If you keep yourself pure, you will be a special utensil for honorable use. Your life will be clean, and you will be ready for the Master to use you for every good work. Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts." Remember, you are not alone in your fight with sin. God is always here for us, in good times and bad, but you have to let Him in.

~Nick~

Divorce Isn’t An Option

2011-06-20T01:07:00.000-04:00

Divorce is still at a all time high and it has become a very common thing to do. You hear about people making their spouses sign prenuptial agreements, have separate bank accounts, and some won't even put their name on the family house or car because they don't want to get stuck with the payment if they were to divorce. Almost as if they are planning to get divorced but want to see how it goes. We have to desire to make it work no matter how we feel or what we can see wrong with our spouse. God designed marriage to be so much more than average and investing your time and effort in anything else is worthless.

You'll begin seeking forgiveness and reconciliation just like Christ did with you. You'll have grace with each other and become willing to grow into your God given role as a spouse. Living to please God will transform and ignite your desire to grow in your faith and knowledge to carry out your role effectively.

For once start taking your nuptials seriously, be willing to work on it and for it, and show your spouse that you're committed to the marriage through God. What do you have to lose by giving God the keys to your marriage? I promise you that God is waiting for you to do this, and you will be amazed at the blessings in store for you, and the testimony your marriage will carry to others in similar situations. Don't underestimate God's love for you and His promise to all of us!

~Nick~

John 15:12-17

Three Purposes of Marriage

2011-06-16T08:00:00.000-04:00

by Gary Chapman

What is the purpose of sex in marriage? What was God’s design? I want to suggest three reasons clearly revealed in Scripture.

First, and most obvious is procreation or reproduction. It was God’s design to provide a safe haven in which to rear children.

A second purpose is companionship. Sex is designed to be a bonding experience. The biblical term is: The two become ‘one flesh’. It is deep deep companionship. I believe that is why it is reserved for marriage. It is our unique expression that we are ‘one’.

A third purpose for sex in marriage is for pleasure. If you doubt this, read The Song of Solomon in the Bible. God’s design was mutual sexual pleasure.

Visit The 5 Love Languages website for more posts from Gary Chapman.

More Than A Feeling

2011-05-24T09:00:00.000-04:00

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 – “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

When you think of the word “love” what are some things that immediately come to mind that you could change in the way you love? If the bible tells us in a very specific way, like this verse clearly does, why do we constantly try to cheat ourselves and the people close to us out of this kind of love?

I’d say a major part of that is the day and age we live in where most of have created some bad habits that ultimately leaves us short-changing the ones we should be showing the kind of love that 1 Corinthians is talking about. Are you someone who always feels overbooked so much that you don’t even have time to sit down, and your loved ones are only receiving the love that you offer when it’s on the go.

I encourage you to take a look at how you show your love to your family and think about how you can be more effective and glorify God by “loving others” the way Paul explains in 1 Corinthians 4.

~Nick~

Controlling Anger Is Possible - Part 2

2011-05-23T09:00:00.002-04:00

When your spouse does something to anger the you, the result should not be a fight but a controlled discussion and what biblical principles should apply as you go. Attacking your spouse is sinful and self-centered. Husbands are commanded to love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it (Eph. 5:25). Husbands MUST do everything they can to help their wives be better Christians.

In Part 1 we talked about Self-Control and Knowing How To Direct Anger as solutions for effective communication. Another solution is seeking forgiveness and recognizing any wrong doing. After discussing the problem, the person who was responsible should apologize without making excuses or blaming someone else. The other person should accept the apology and promise to help in any way possible with the problem. After the problem is discussed and whoever was at fault should ask to be forgiven.

Forgiving a spouse that's been held accountable by you and forgiving isn't an option, Jesus requires us to do so. (Matthew 18:21-22, Mark 11:25-26) Paul tells us in Ephesians 4:26, “Do not let the sun go down on your wrath”. The Bible is very clear on the fact that husbands and wives must be reconciled the very same day that the problem occurred, it cannot be put off until the next day.

True forgiveness must be extend to your spouse, even when the offense was great. If forgiveness is not extended, then all the aforementioned solutions that you tried were all for nothing and reconciliation has not taken place. When you forgive your spouse you must no longer hold the sin against him. That means you don’t dwell on it, you don’t hold a grudge, and you should never bring it up again to your spouse or anyone else.

These are just a few tips to help eliminate those blow out arguments that could have been eliminated by simple knowing how to control your anger, and the overall situation. Like everything else, practice makes perfect!

Don't wait until tomorrow.....Start serving your spouse today!

~Nick~

Controlling Anger Is Possible - Part 1

2011-05-20T09:00:00.002-04:00

The Bible teaches us that we must control our anger as Christians, especially when it comes to marriage. The anger you have should drive you to do the right thing. Instead of losing your temper and blowing up (or clamming up), you should focus your attention on the problem. As husbands and wives, we must learn to attack the problem at hand, not each other. (Proverbs 12:16, 14:29)

Husbands and wives who do not control their anger end up attacking each other instead of the problem. Uncontrolled anger can also lead to tension and other serious problems in a marriage; it's what turns minor disagreements into shouting matches. Just keep in mind that uncontrolled anger is sinful and foolish. When you're yelling, screaming, name-calling, bringing up past mistakes—all are used to hurt your spouse. A Christian marriage does not involve a husband and wife keeping score to see who wins a fight. (Proverbs 15:19, Proverbs 16:24, 29)

One solution that is very effective that you can start doing is having self-control. When something happens that upsets you, it's is best to remain calm and collected so you can communicate effectively. Those of you who struggled with outbursts in the past should try to explain to your spouse that you are learning to replace yelling with biblical communication.

Another solution is knowing how to direct your anger in an effective way that helps solve the problem. Instead of allowing your tempers to control the situation by attempting to out-shot one another, you both should focus your attention on the problem.

Stay tuned for Part 2, we'll talk about forgiveness and how controlling anger is absolutely possible! Don't wait until tomorrow.....Start serving your spouse today!

~Nick~

In Pursuit Of A "Perfect" Marriage

2011-05-09T20:00:00.004-04:00

^{What's your idea of a "perfect" marriage? Before you answer this question, take a snap shot of your life as it stands right now. Look at all the variables that play a role in life as you know it on a day to day basis, such as your spouse, children, money, your relationship with God, outside influences that include friends and family. All of these can potentially cause problems in a marriage if you and your spouse haven't created a plan of action that keeps you unified in your Godly roles as husband and wife by setting up barriers that protect your family. Romans 16:17-18 says "I urge you, brothers. to watch out for those who cause divisions ans put obstacles in our way that we are contrary to teaching you have learned. Keep away from them."}

^{God's design for marriage should be our standard, but we have to break bad habits that we've picked up over the years, and get back to the basics like Ephesians 5:22-33 tells us. When a husband and wife obey their God-given duties, it is only then, you will begin to experience that idea of a "perfect" marriage. Pray for each other and for God to help you "love" the way God loves us. Ephesians 4:32 says "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ God forgave you."}

^{We are called to glorify God in all that we do (1 Corinthians 10:31); God has given us the tools we need to live in harmony with our spouse, and when you commit to making the necessary changes in how you live, God's blessings will begin pouring down.}

Don't wait until tomorrow.....Start serving your spouse today!

^~Nick~

Understanding Misunderstandings

2011-05-03T09:00:00.000-04:00

There are times when a spouse becomes angry because of a simple misunderstanding. Even if your spouse’s anger is not based on reality (they thought you said or did something and you did not), you must maintain control of your anger. It is easy to lose your temper or become defensive when the accusations made against you are false. Instead of blowing up, clamming up or going on the defensive, in a calm manner make it clear that your spouse’s anger is misdirected. Tell your spouse the truth regarding the situation, but do so with a soft answer (one that diffuses anger and avoids an argument). If either of your anger is not kept under control, a harmful, hurtful argument will follow.

Miscommunications and misunderstandings are inevitable in a marriage relationship. Which is why it's extremely important that spouses learn to give each other grace and the benefit of the doubt in times like those. “He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity” (Proverbs 21:23). You must regard your spouse as more important than yourself, just like Philippians 2:3 says.

What should a Christian do who is married to someone who doesn’t care what the Bible says about anger and hurtful speech? What should a husband or wife do whose spouse rejects a soft answer? What if you are married to someone who likes to argue? What if an argument seems unavoidable?

No matter how obnoxious your spouse is, you must still exercise self-control and answer in a soft manner. Remember, It takes two to tango; it also takes two to maintain an argument. When you find yourself in a situation where your spouse tries to engage you in a hurtful argument, you must simply refuse to argue. Gently make it clear that your are unwilling to argue and engage in hurtful speech.

Proverbs 16:24 says "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."

Don't wait until tomorrow.....Start serving your spouse today!

~Nick~

Meeting Each Other In The Middle

2011-04-25T09:00:00.000-04:00

No matter how long you've been married, there are always things your spouse will do or don't do, that may irritate you to no end. Most the time, the hiccups that come about in the marriage when things like this come up, is how we chose to handle the situation with our spouse. Obviously we can't just fly off the handle when something comes up and think the best way to get results is to be a bully or start out with a big argument when you bring these things up.

Having an attitude of understanding and compassion is going to be the best approach, just take a look at Ephesians 4:2 when it says "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." Try to keep in the back of your mind that your spouse most likely has some very similar issues with you as well and you will be far more successful in all your disputes when you treat your spouse as an equal. Try not to get caught up in keeping score and trying to determine which one of you does the most wrong when it comes to petty issues, and don't think your needs are more important than theirs.

You have to meet each other in the middle. A quick example that I can give you is something that recently happened with me and my wife. The issue that came up was chores around the house. I felt like I was carrying the majority of the load when it came to housework. So what did I do.....I told her how I felt and that it needed to change because it was so exhausting. But when I brought this up, I wasn't thinking about the stuff I was slacking on or keep in mind that maybe there was more to it, so after a lengthy discussion we finally seen some results.

We came to the conclusion that making a monthly calendar that splits up the chores evenly every day of the week and this helped immensely because we were able to have a conversation that included both our thoughts on what needed done around the house and how often, then we agreed on who should do what.

This is only an example of one topic that worked well for us, but no matter how big or small those issues are, when we take on the mind set that you are willing to give a lot to get a little, you will absolutely be surprised by the outcome. It's that big idea of being a lot more selfless and a lot less selfish.

Don't wait until tomorrow.....Start serving you spouse today!

~Nick~

Out With The Old, In With The New

2011-04-22T09:00:00.002-04:00

Ephesians 4:22-24 "You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness."

What a great verse this is to fall back on when things aren't going the way we think they should. God has plans for each of us and in those moments of weakness that ultimately end up with us realizing how the outcome would've been different if we'd just trusted in God's blessings. Obviously sin is something that can be hard to shake loose and we tend to get caught in the trap of sin but God has given us the tools we need. This verse is a prime example because Paul tells us how to approach sin, by putting it off and putting something that's God approved in it's place, and scripture is here to help us to be faithful. By doing this, we recognize that was our old way of life and the new faith we have in God is where the path to righteousness lies. When will it be time for you to begin utilizing the tools that God has given you?

~Nick~

Escaping Abuse In Marriage - Part 2

2011-04-06T06:00:00.002-04:00

1 Corinthians 7:23 tells us that we were brought with a price and we are not to become slaves to men. Don't confuse any of this with the act of submission by convincing yourself as a wife that you are doing your Godly duty by sticking around because you are being a submissive wife either. Submission is a voluntary act and God asks women to do this so women will surrender to their husbands LOVE and God-given position. It doesn't say anywhere in God's word that a wife should think they are being unsubmissive if they fled from a marriage like that.

Eventually women who are being abused by their husbands for a period of time will begin to believe they deserve it. Maybe this is because they are trying to protect themselves or kids who are involved, or maybe they think they're the reason for their husband's abusiveness?

Sometimes a Christian woman who is being harmed by her mate stays because she believes that the Lord will protect her no matter what her husband does. Removing herself and her children from danger isn’t selfish, isn’t sinful, isn’t unsubmissive—it’s just smart.

1 Corinthians 14:33 tells us that God is not a God of confusion but of peace, so if you are praying for clarity on the issue but feel confused by the answer your getting, maybe you already know what you should do because God doesn't leave you questioning His truth.

Please contact us at betterorworseministry@gmail.com if you have any questions regarding the topic of abuse or simply need some help.

Don't wait until tomorrow, start serving your spouse today!

~Nick~

Escaping Abuse In Marriage - Part 1

2011-04-04T06:00:00.002-04:00

Scripture does not deal specifically with the problem of abuse, but Christ’s attitude and several scriptures can help us draw conclusions about so we know how to respond. This will be a 2 part blog because of the content and importance of raising a Godly awareness to the issue of abuse inside marriage. This is something that many people, especially those who claim to be Christians, are struggling with on a daily basis but feel stranded or don't know what steps to take or direction to go in and be in line with the word of God.

In Ephesians 5, verses 25 and 28, Paul commands husbands to “love their wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her” and to “love their own wives as their own bodies.”. Christ sacrificed His life for the church in love. This example is the complete opposite of abuse.

After reading those verses, you may see that anyone who mistreats their spouse [regardless if it's the husband or the wife doing the mistreating] with any type of abuse, isn't glorifying God or honoring the vows that were taken.

If your spouse is neglectful, destroying you as a person by attacking your body, soul, or spirit, they've already mentally checked out of the marriage, even though you're living under the same roof and sleeping in the same bed with them. The relationship may already be over in their mind and in their mind the thought of leaving could be the reason for the abuse until it becomes a reality.

The Bible says that when someone wants out of the marriage and you are a Christian, you should let them leave. God doesn't want you suffering any abuse, whether it's bodily harm or emotional abuse, nor does He want you to live in fear. When you are someone living in these conditions where their spouse is causing you to be in fear, whether it's mental or by controlling what you do with threats or physical abuse, you eventually become a slave to the situation.

If you are in a situation and need help, please feel free to email us at betterorworseministry@gmail.com and we'll get you connected with someone who may be able to help.

~Nick~

How Righteous Are You?

2011-03-25T10:51:00.001-04:00

Romans 12:13 "For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God's sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous."

What does this verse mean to you? Does it challenge you at all to change the way you see yourself after hearing God's word? Hopefully it does. Sometimes we tend to get caught up in the idea that we can do whatever we want because we go to church every Sunday, or because we open our bible throughout the week. This is a dangerous trap to fall into because we lose sight of glorifying God in whatever we do, as 1 Corinthians 10:31 tells us. How can we glorify God in all that we do if we don't change our lives for God's glory when we hear the truth that comes from God's word and make no changes to our daily life?

It's not about what we do that makes us righteous in God's eyes, it's what we do when God shows us our sins and we are presented with a choice to change the direction we are going by putting off that sin and putting something that will please God in place of it. I challenge you to think about your relationship with Christ and how righteous you are in His eyes when you are faced with conviction.

~Nick~

Back To The Basics

2011-03-04T09:05:00.000-05:00

1 Peter 4:11 If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

How often do you find yourself taking God's word for granted and making it mean what you think is best for you? What I mean by that is only focusing on changing the BIG things that you are struggling with as a Christian and not the simple, everyday things. How we talk to one another in general, whether it's being honest or how we treat others on a daily basis, especially those people who we don't get along with, or when we serve in various ministries at church but only give just enough so you can get through the day.

1 Peter 4 is telling us exactly why it's important to focus on those areas in our life because it's how we represent ourselves and show others love like Christ shows us and glorifying Him in all you do. I encourage you to get back to the basics and start paying closer attention to how you speak to others and if you are in a position of serving your local church, then try giving 100% for no other reason that God's glory. You might be surprised by what you find out about yourself and your relationship with God will absolutely begin blossoming.

~Nick~

Preventing Divorce

2011-02-27T09:43:00.000-05:00

Are you completely secure in your marriage relationship? Do you think there is the slightest possibility that the marriage could end one day, with either one or both of you giving up on it? Believe it or not, some couples aren't sure whether or not their spouse is in the marriage to stay. There are a number of different things that can result in an insecure marriage, and ultimately lead to that nasty little word....DIVORCE

Does this word ever make an appearance when you and your spouse have an argument, disagreement, or fight? Is it occasionally said or thrown out as a possibility during those really bad, knock-down drag-out fights? Unfortunately, if this word is coming up at all, it’s planting the seeds of potential marriage failure. The solution is simple, just leave that word out of your vocabulary all together, there is absolutely no place for it when attempting to have a Godly marriage.

Ephesians 4:29-31 says, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice."

If you have kids, put yourself in their shoes and try to imagine what they feel like when they hear the word divorce. What kind of fear, anxiety, stress, and worry could THEY possibly be feeling when they hear their parents bring up divorce? Or even just when they sense (kids are very perceptive) the tension between husband and wife? I know, I was one of these kids.

Don't wait until tomorrow...Start serving your spouse today!

~Nick~

A Loving Resolution

2011-02-14T08:33:00.000-05:00

I have always wondered why communicating with your girlfriend/boyfriend always seemed so easy when conflict arises, but for some reason, it seems to be very difficult the day we become husband/wife. I keep coming back to the question, "where do we get this from? Why are we so quick to attack each other with selfish intentions instead of working together for a resolution that we both can agree with?" To answer those questions, this is what I come back to......

Most of us have picked up our conflict resolution from those that are closest to us, and they are the same people who taught us how to communicate in general (i.e. parents, other married friends, etc.). A big stumbling block that most marriages face when dealing with conflict resolution is having conflicting ideas of "what's fair and what isn't" when it comes to the solution. When we try to gain leverage over our spouse in a MANIPULATIVE way, it almost always snowballs into some type of game playing, and the odds of us seeing our spouse's side of things is unrealistic.

As believer's in Christ, as husbands and wives, we're told to put away "childish behavior." (1 Corinthians 13:11). We're also told to speak the truth in love, you can see this first hand in Ephesians 4:15, when Paul challenges ALL Christians to do just that. Now, some of us have mastered "speaking the truth" all because they're simply being blunt and seem to be quick to point out anything that they see in their spouse.

When each of us live out Paul's message of "speaking the truth in love" to each other, the idea is that we must "put off" our old ways and "put on" love in it's place.

In Ephesians 4:2-7, Paul gives key instruction when he says that we are to be patient with one another in love. That we are to make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through peace. This may mean different things to different people but the bottom line is we, as a husband or as a wife, have to begin loving each other in all forms. Saying "I Love You" everyday just isn't enough, it's our actions, and how we treat one another as a whole.

Don't wait until tomorrow......Start serving your spouse today!

~Nick~

We're All In This Together!

2011-02-12T16:36:00.000-05:00

Hebrews 3:12-14 - "Be careful then, dear brothers and sisters. Make sure that your own hearts are not evil and unbelieving, turning you away from the living God. You must warn each other every day, while it is still “today,” so that none of you will be deceived by sin and hardened against God. For if we are faithful to the end, trusting God just as firmly as when we first believed, we will share in all that belongs to Christ."

I'm sure many of you would agree that this passage is easier said than done. But is it really that tough or are we just making excuses? As Christians, we are told to turn from sin and run from temptation, but many of us can't do it alone. Most of us who struggle with the same sins would agree that they would make better decisions when faced with sin, if they had some support or accountability, but aren't sure who to ask or where to look. This is why attending church faithfully and involving yourself in what it has to offer. Most church's have small groups, bible studies, or some kind of extra curricular activity is a great start!

This is what Hebrews 3:12-14 is telling us, as Christians, we must warn each other daily so we will learn to conquer sin when we become tempted. We are never alone when we seek God's glory and he will always give us a way out when we are tempted. God's grace is mighty, His love is endless, and He knows what our heart needs. Just ask Him...

~Nick~