8 Quick Time Management Tips | Goals and Achievements.

It took a while but after many interupptions I managed to give her this advice:

‘For a long time you’ve been thinking about your weight and your diet and how you just can’t lose weight.

Your mind is full of these thoughts, and you’ve become so sensitive to it all that any sign of food has you give in and eat, or feel anxious about eating. (See this blog entry about your thoughts and weight loss.)

So my suggestion today is to start thinking of things that you like. These could be as simple as the fact that it’s a sunny day, or that you found a place in the car park.

Start to notice what you like about yourself and everyday that you’re on this earth.

This simple action will pay dividends because you are re-training your mind to look out for and report on what is good.
• The more you do this the more you’ll get good feelings.
• When you get good feelings you feel better.
• When you feel better you take better care of yourself’

This is a simple exercise but gives powerful results.

I’m going to see this lady next week and I’ll find out how she’s doing. We can then about what’s next in her journey to her slimmer self.

Now I don’t expect you’ll believe everything you’ve read here today, so you’ll have to try it for yourself to decide. There’s a right way to do this. Generally speaking you can give it a try and see how you go. But I suspect either way you’ll be really surprised at the positive effect it has on your outlook, especially if you note all the things that you like in a special note book.
Happy treasure hunting!
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We learn behaviours and patterned ways of thinking and execute them unconsciously. Almost like well-worn scripts. So for example, when you learnt to drive it was a set of actions and processes you had to think about consciously. But soon they all fit together like well known patterns to the point where you can drive unconsciously.

Therefore to change or learn something new we have to absorb and accept it at an unconscious level. That is why hypnotherapy helps you make fast and deep changes.

If you had one wish to change the way you are, what would it be? Explore and find the one outcome that would make a difference; that would change the way you feel about yourself and your future. Find what would transform your life and help you feel a success. Be as specific as you can, because that will help your mind make it come true. With your number one priority in mind, ask yourself these questions

1. What positive benefits do I want to see?
2. What positive benefits do I want to feel?
3. What positive benefits do I want inside my mind?

Doing this simple exercise helps you to experience the new you. Your mind then can help take you in that direction. In effect, you’ve given it a direction to follow.

If you want to take it all the way, just repeat the exercise daily and gently ask yourself what is the next step or action to take. Many people have broken free from their limiting past with this approach. They’ve achieved huge goals just by following these simple steps. You can too.

You can give yourself new scripts for old…

Imagine your mental scripts as a repertoire of plays. Many of them created and used from the age of five onwards. Others added along the way. Now some of them may be good or some are limiting you. Others are just plain useless and leaving you frustrated. Now let’s imagine the original scriptwriter moved away ago. But suppose you could find that writer and then re-script your life. With a new set of beliefs, values and goals, in tune with how you want to be now, you could create a new way of being that enhances all your most positive aspects. In all areas of your life

Now you could ask yourself:

How do I want to change my scripts?
What do I want my new values to be?
What new role do I want to play?

When you think like this it’s possible to make changes and learn more to the point where you are only limited by your imagination.

Enough said. From her body language I had an inkling of how she represented the words ‘give a presentation’ in her mind’s eye. It didn’t look or sound positive or encouraging.

The way we imagine events happening in the future directly affects how they will be for us. If we re-present them in our minds as uncomfortable and unpleasant then that tends to be the result. You could say our thoughts and feelings drive us. If we let them.

But why would we let our thoughts sabotage us and produce uncomfortable imagery of future events like this? Well, it’s due to a mixture of experiences, memories and beliefs that we hold subconsciously.

To help illustrate this recall a fond memory of your own now. Let’s say it’s your grand-dad and you having fun. When I ask you to think about it, you’ll go off to a visual landscape and fill in the feelings. Conversely, if I ask you to think of someone you don’t like you’ll do similar but the imagery and associated feelings will be unpleasant. Each time you know you’ll be meeting this person those feelings come up. You then act on these feelings and they are subsequently reinforced.

That’s a brief insight of how your thoughts and beliefs affect your experience and state of mind. But you can turn them around to your benefit when you need to.

To show you how let’s go back to the example of my client and her fear of presenting. She couldn’t remember a single time when she’d enjoyed talking to a group.

I asked her to think again about presenting and then quietly let her mind take her way back to earlier times. In a matter of moments she was back to school days and in particular a certain classroom with a strict teacher. She recalled with some pain reciting to the classroom her essay for a homework project. All her classmates were laughing at her. The reason was because the teacher cited it as the worst in the class.

Pinpoint Where the Problem Began
We had pinpointed why she felt the way she did about presenting to others. Now armed with the knowledge we could set about reframing the memory so that it no longer held her back.

The first step was to reframe the laughter of the other children. I asked her if she really believed now, as an adult, if they’d wanted to hurt her or humiliate her. She thought and answered no that they were just reacting as kids and led by a bad teacher.

I asked then to think about the qualities that the incident had left her with. She decided that they were sensitivity to other’s worries or discomforts. Also a willingness to support and encourage others. These attributes we both agreed where very worthy and made her a generous and popular team player at work.

Then I asked to her to go back to the memory, pick a scene and make a picture out of it. She took a moment and found she could do this. Then I asked her to make the picture black and white and put a frame around it. All this she did and as she did so, she noticed that all the trembling, worried and anxious feelings left her.

Finally, I asked her to shrink the picture, then flip it so that it lay facing upwards, and then let it disappear. When she’d completed all this she let her attention come back to the room. She was delighted and laughing.

A New Frame for an Old Scene
To test her new frame on the experience I asked her to think of her upcoming presentation. She paused, looked down and then back at me. Now her eyes lit up and she grinned and said: ‘Wow, what a difference. I can see it going really well!’

Do you have an old memory attached to a current fear or apprehension around presenting? Is it time to stop it holding you back? You can choose the way you think and therefore your performance. Try it for yourself.

If you want to change your life then changing your beliefs is a good place to start. But first it’s useful to have some background knowledge on how they exist and influence our lives.

They come from experience, judgements or interpretations that we apply to other experiences. We filter out a lot of detail in our everyday life and make generalisations and decisions based on inherent beliefs.

In short, we make a working map of our world so that we can navigate it quickly and easily. So like a map of London that generalizes in representing all paved roads with one type of symbol, no matter the differences in road surface, grade or other features. It deletes many details - ducks crossing signs, flood warnings and other landmarks along the way such as that great coffee shop or the infamous speed trap. It distorts the landscape, representing the area two-dimensionally.

Good navigators are aware that a map is only as useful as its representation is accurate. Maps can be outdated or simply wrong. So if you insist upon following an out of date map even though it doesn’t match the territory you’ll get lost. However, you can update your beliefs to help you live the life you desire.

Here’s How to Change Your Beliefes

Think of something you absolutely believe, for example the sun will rise tomorrow, or where you live.

As that thought forms inside you notice what pictures, sounds or feelings come into your mind. Focus on the qualities of that picture and not so much on the content. That is, are the colours bright or dull, grainy or clear? Are the sounds loud or muted? Note all of these and at the same time tune into the feelings that come with them.

Now leave that experience to one side and next do the same for something you don’t believe. For example, all politicians are honest, charitable people and act for the common good.

Again, look at, listen and feel the way your mind re-presents that belief to you. Notice whether it’s in colour or not, what sounds are there, how are you feeling and where do you feel that feeling. If there’s a picture notice whether it’s near or far, or if you see you in it. Mentally record this.

You’ve now got two sets of beliefs to compare. One that’s true for you and one that you’re never going to believe. Get a notepad and quickly note down the different qualities. Now you have the foundations of an amazing skill. Once you know how a real belief works inside you, you can make beliefs you want empowering or conversely take limiting beliefs and dis-empower them.

Have an experiment now. Think of something you’ve been silently wanting to have happen for you. It could be something that you’ve noticed others achieve, but somehow you just feel you’ll never get there. Notice what comes with that. Is it like what comes with that earlier belief about politicians?

Now go back to the earlier example of the belief that is an absolute fact and let all the pictures, sounds and feelings come to you again. Make sure it’s the qualities you focus on, and not the content. Once you’re aware of all these qualities direct your mind to what you’d like to have happen for you. In effect you are taking the absolute belief way of being and using it as an internal filter to try out the future you.

You may not experience a lightening flash of change but you may be surprised that in the very near future you’ll start acting on your wish more positively. That’s because beliefs act as permissions and changing a belief in this way will open areas of your life that have hitherto been closed for you.

Want some first-hand experience and help to change your beliefs? Take a look at this: Next Workshop date Thursday October 22 in Surrey. Click here for more details

But have you ever wondered what makes you happy at work? It might seem a stupid question but as psychologist, Dr Martin Seligman has observed we often are living in a state of learned-helplessness. That means we filter all our experiences for the ones that makes us feel helpless or miserable.

Consequently, we are trapped because the more we feel helpless the more we believe there is no way to change and life will just be that way. But the power to change lies with us so we can enjoy our work more and believe life is meaningful.

A Way Out

The first step is to realise that our habitual thinking is the source of our misery. What we think, we feel so that is where our change has to start. A tall order you might think, but in fact, there’s an easy way to start.

That is to write down what makes you happy at work. At least what you are grateful for about your work. The cynic part of you of course will have a field day, but once it’s done let the real stuff come forward.

Simple Pleasures

They can be very simple things like the way a certain colleague can make you laugh or always says hello. Perhaps you enjoy it when you solve someone’s problem or get a work process sorted out. Get started on this task and write whatever comes to mind, even if it’s rubbish to begin with.

Keep adding to it over the next few days so that your mind is seeking out the things you like about work. If you take the trouble to do this you will be pleasantly surprised at the effect. You see happiness is a way of thinking not something we have.

By doing the above you have just started to train your thinking to sort for what makes you happy. When you’re happier a lot more is possible.

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How does this happen? Well, if you have big ambitions for your career or business then you no doubt have a big picture in your mind of what must happen for you to succeed. Perhaps it’s making a certain amount of profit in a period or year, or getting promoted or developing winning relationships.

Now thinking big like this can be a very good way to get to where you want to go.

On the other hand, as I find with my clients it can often be the source of stress and paralysis. Let me explain. A common scenario that means my client is suffering this kind of paralysis is when they say: ‘I’m losing sleep because I get loud, anxious thoughts swimming around about not having achieved enough and my big goal is impossible’.

Or perhaps my client describes an increasing inability to present or perform well because they’re worried about the damage they may do to their career prospects if they’re not perfect.

Sound familiar? What I would suggest to both of these clients is to decide consciously to daily take action toward their big picture.
Or even better to think big picture but to paint one small piece at a time.

So if your big picture is to have enough profit at the end of the year then decide on a daily basis what small step you can take to ensure this. It might be to buy a software programme to make it easier for you to input your expenditure and income. Or to investigate the cost of a professional accountant to keep your finances in order.

Whatever it is you decide to do when you consciously and regularly do it, it has the effect of coding in your mind that the big picture is actually getting completed. And that means your mind is able to record the evidence that the big picture is possible and allows it to build the next constructive step to take. Making sense to you now? So what do you see yourself doing on a regular basis towards achieving your big picture or dream? Write it down now and start making your dream come true . . . .

Feel like you’re burnt out? Can’t remember when you last relaxed and had some fun? Visit my homepage, look to the upper right and check out my free report on Symptoms of Burnout. It’s free and you can use it to feel better immediately.

These nibbles just ‘happened’ when she immersed herself in watching a film or reading a book. The food would just force its way into her mouth.

How did this happen? Well, reading meant lying on her bed, with a ready supply of her favourite sweets at hand’s reach. Then when deeply involved in the plot, her hand would pop a sweet in her mouth. This would melt and when that had gone her hand would reach for another and so on. Until the whole pack had gone. Somehow, this took place without her knowing. She told me this in almost a trance-like state and indeed described her state of mind as tranced out when she did this.

It’s not unusual that we execute such behaviours and actions in this dreamy, not really there state. We are triggered by known and comfortable environments into habitual behaviour that’s driven by our unconscious.
When she’d finished recounting this to me, she immediately went into berating herself harshly and the words soon made hot tears of frustration come to her eyes. It seemed to her yet further proof of her worthlessness and lack of will power. She declared her dream impossible and predicted herself walking down the aisle in a sack dress.

To me this is a typical reaction from somebody desperate to loose weight and yet sabotaging their goal at every step. They make vows to themselves not to stray from a strict regimen and then somehow, sneak treats and snacks at invisible moments. It’s as if their minds take over and makes the food pop into their mouths. It becomes a never-ending battle with the mind. But it’s the kind of war that the mind always wins. For success you have to get it on board and work with it.

I suggested that she start talking to herself differently and in an encouraging manner. She was very hesitant about this course of action. She felt she didn’t deserve good treatment.

I reminded her that she’d not lost any weight by being hard on herself! Eventually I persuaded her to give treating herself well a try; after all she’d nothing to lose! Or a lot to lose.

After some discussion she promised that each day she do the following:

in the mornings she’d put on her favourite music, look in the mirror and remind herself of her best attributes.

She’d let her fiancé make a fuss of her. Remember that he loved her.

Then during the day she’d have a note book at hand to note down good things that occurred, so that at the end of the day she’d have a review.

On the reading front, she changed her spot from the bed to a chair by the window and took a jug of water and glass to sip.

Before long her weight was falling away and she started to go to the gym and workout. By the time of her wedding she’d lost three stone and looked beautiful.

See what some simple mindset changes can do to a large insurmountable problem?

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]]> http://www.think-rightnow.com/blog/think-thin/cant-lose-weight-you-need-to-change-your-mind/feed/ http://www.think-rightnow.com/blog/reducing-stress/dissolve-stress-by-taking-control-of-your-thoughts/ http://www.think-rightnow.com/blog/reducing-stress/dissolve-stress-by-taking-control-of-your-thoughts/#comments Wed, 15 Jul 2009 16:56:30 +0000 Lizlab http://www.think-rightnow.com/?p=167 I was standing behind a couple at a busy hotel reception recently. The husband asked his wife: ‘What time shall I book the taxi for?’ The woman, struggling with various bags and cradling a mobile phone in her shoulder, whilst conversing with the receptionist, spectacularly lost her temper at this question. She told him just what he could do with the taxi. The air was blue and the husband stood open mouthed.

The scene graphically reminded me of how we can unconsciously soak up stress to the point where just one more ‘burden’ or question makes us erupt like a volcano. Of course, we then have to deal with the fall-out and associated feelings. Life can feel like a roller coaster that you can’t get off at times.

If you find this is your experience and you want to regain control and clarity in your life then here is a course of action for you to consider.

The aim of it is to re-educate your senses so they more usefully pick up the stress triggers around you. Therefore, instead of absorbing the stress on each trigger you monitor them and take remedial action. That means less time in an inner world of mind talk and thoughts about what’s right, wrong or unfair. Because it’s very difficult to be rational from this perspective, you’re more likely to feel burdened, overwhelmed or enraged.

So to avoid these feelings you need a game plan that has you notice earlier when you’re retreating into your thoughts. Then you can challenge them and come back to real time and work on what action you can take. This means you’ll have more control and less stress. A very worthwhile change to make.

Discipline to Make Change

If you’ve had to learn a new skill lately you’ll know it takes discipline and application. But if you are interested in and excited by the rewards you’ll find it’s much easier than you think. It’s important to make the commitment to yourself. Why not decide from tomorrow that you will stop and check at different times of the day how you are and whether you’re getting lost in thoughts. Michael Neill, a self-help guru, suggests that you pause, breathe, put your hand on your heart and just tune in to you for a moment or two. This trains you to inhabit the real world rather than that of your inner machinations.
You could even just check every quarter hour or so whether there’s anything to stress about around you. Maybe check for lions, bears, or beasts rushing at you! Crazy but nonetheless it’s this sort of conscious checking that will have you change your habitual pattern of disappearing into the jungle of fretful thoughts. These just lead to you abosrbing more stress.
Often the source of stress is not the situation but the way we think about it. Challenging our thoughts and not getting consumed by them frees us to tackle problems with more clarity and energy.

How about making a start today? Let me know how you get on or what your experience is of the above.

For some instant advice and relief you can download your free report on the Sypmtoms of Burnout and How to Recover. Go to the homepage and look to the right of the screen.

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