Think Simple Now

Be More, Do Less

Rebecca A. Watson — Mon, 13 May 2013 00:00:09 +0000

“It is the stillness that will save and transform the world.”
~Eckhart Tolle

Several years ago I lived with a good friend who spoke English as her third language. While she spoke fluently after years of experience, there was one phrase I used that she had trouble grasping at first: Just be.

As in, “After we finish grocery shopping, let’s go to the beach and just be.” She’d always want to finish the sentence. “Just be … relaxing. Just be … writing.”

When I explained what I meant, that I would really just like to sit, observe and exist, without any expectations, she was delighted.

This, she declared, was a very un-American, very un-Western thing to do, which would make sense that why after fifteen years of learning English she’d never heard the phrase.

I read once that we’re called human beings, not human doings, and so I’ve tried in the last several years to just be on a daily basis.

It isn’t easy in a world where we’re constantly plugged in, where calendars beg to be filled and obligations loom around every corner. But it’s not impossible either, and it’s totally worth it.

1. Just being doesn’t mean doing nothing

This was a concept that took me a while to wrap my head around.

For a long time I thought that in order to be, to just be me and nothing else, I must sit and do nothing. That I must be like Henry David Thoreau in Walden, staring out the doorway from sunrise to sunset.

While that sounds nice, it certainly isn’t practical, and for me seems a bit extreme. While I do enjoy sitting on the porch with my tea in the early morning listening to the birds, I also love typing away at my computer after a good workout.

The trick is to be in that moment. As I write away on my latest masterpiece, my vision might go soft for a few seconds as I just sit there, breathing calmly and enjoying it for what it is.

I’m not doing yoga. I’m not meditating. I’m working. But I’m alive in that moment, choosing to do it.

2. Do one thing at a time

I remember when multitasking was something I valued dearly. I was proud of my ability to do several things at once, juggling deadlines and phone calls while walking on the treadmill.

I’m not 100 percent sure here, but I think multitasking is addictive in a way. I found myself pushing to get more done at once, and I started making mistakes. And while I was getting more done, time went so quickly.

When you focus on one task and do it well, you finish more quickly and with fewer mistakes. But you also feel more whole. The phrase “I’m all over the place today,” was common in my vernacular before I adopted this attitude.

Now I feel more calm. More me.

3. Move with purpose

Whether it’s a workout or walking to the bathroom, make deliberate movements. Each one is a choice we make with our body, our vessel while we’re on this planet.

Sometimes when I’d work out, I’d just let my mind wander somewhere else, most of the time to the mental calendar in my head.

I started noticing I was doing this when I was shopping, cooking and even while I was biking on a busy street. I was putting myself in danger by allowing my body to move without my mind. I’d “come to” later and be astonished at how foolish I had been.

When you actively involve your mind in your movements, in your literal actions, you become more responsible for them. You become more integrated and tend to act in harmony.

This allows for greater peace as you’re a more whole being. The side effect of this is that you get better results, without “doing” anything more.

4. Schedule yourself into your day

After my monster to-do list was done, that was when I could spend time just being, I used to tell myself. But as most people can attest, to-do lists never quite disappear.

There was always something else to do. Something more that could be done before it was time to cash in my chips for the day and turn in, wondering again why I couldn’t sleep.

Now, my to-do list includes things like “Be awesome. Knit. Dance like an idiot.” You know, important stuff.

I find the best way to do this is to alternate tasks throughout the day. So if your list includes finishing up a big project, start there. Then do something nice for yourself.

Obviously if you work in an office you’re probably not going to be able to take a five mile hike. But you can go grab a coffee or take a quick walk outside.

Afterward, make that quick phone call about your cable bill that you’ve been putting off. Head back to work on some research for a project.

Then maybe lock yourself in an empty office, turn out the lights and breathe for five minutes. That was one of my favorite things to do when I worked the nine-to-five.

You’ll find that even though you’ve taken a few minutes several times out of your day for yourself, your productivity will soar at work (so your boss will have nothing to complain about) and in life (so that to-do list will still get crossed off) while you’re actually doing less.

And the bonus? Time slows down and you feel so much more alive.

5. Take it easy

Something that has been hard for me to swallow is that just being is a life-long pursuit. I have trouble with the fact that this isn’t something you do for a while, cross of your list and move on. It’s the “doer” in me.

Whenever I get a little worked up about something, my husband will quote one of our favorite comedies: “Take it easy, man.” No matter how crabby I am or how serious the situation seems, I stop and smile. And it’s great advice.

I can’t crack the whip when it comes to just being. I’m not going to get better at it by being more disciplined. It’s a giant paradox, and sometimes, so is life. The only thing you can do is sit back, do what you can, take it easy and enjoy what’s happening right now.

~~~

When I look back at the first twenty-odd years of my life, they’re like a reel in fast-forward. I really don’t remember doing any of those things. Not vividly anyway.

But if I consider my last five years when I’ve been working more on just being, I’m amazed and grateful for the richness, vibrancy and color of so many memories, big and small. And things still get done.

Before you go: please share this story on Facebook, RT on twitter. Follow us on facebook and twitter. Subscribe to receive email updates. Thank you for your support!

About the Author

Rebecca is a fierce optimist who believes in the power of making life happen. After realizing optimism doesn’t jive with journalism, she left newspaper to create her own brand of marketing through education and humor. Balance and mindfulness are her latest pursuits, along with learning to knit. Read her blog and follow her on Twitter for her latest enthusiastic (and sometimes witty) remarks.
>> Click here to see all articles written by Rebecca.

How to Set Goals with No Guilt

Guest of TSN — Mon, 06 May 2013 00:00:35 +0000

Photo by Shannon

Guest Story By Ally Palmer

“When we’re in the grip of inspiration,
an idea has taken hold of us from the invisible reality of Spirit.
Something that seems to come from afar,
where we allow ourselves to be moved by a force
that’s more powerful than our ego and all of it’s illusions,
is inspiration.”
~Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Goal setting can be a great tool for achieving and improving different areas of your life. It can also be a source of frustration, disappointment and anxiety.

We’ve all heard of the traditional S.MA.R.T. guidelines for setting goals (making your goals: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely). It seems to be widely touted by personal development gurus and business professionals, however it may not be for every goal seeker.

A few years ago, I worked with a business coach to help me grow my business. I learned a lot, but I also experienced many negative feelings like the ones mentioned above.

When I didn’t meet my goals, I would get very down on myself. I felt like something was wrong with me. My self-esteem went completely down the tubes.

On the other hand, when I achieved my financial goal for the week or month I’d be very happy, proud even. But you know what? Those feelings didn’t last very long.

My coach would give me a new, increased financial target to go after and the cycle would start over. I felt like I was on a never-ending treadmill of striving and stress. I could feel a growing cloud of emptiness and loneliness taking over.

It turned me off completely from setting goals. I started seeing them only as a way to make myself feel guilty and ashamed. And who needs more of that?

But, in stepping away from goal setting, I realized something. It wasn’t necessarily the goal setting that was making me feel bad. It was the fact that I was so attached to the outcome.

I was attaching my happiness and self-worth to whether or not I was achieving my goals.

And those feelings of emptiness and loneliness, was my internal GPS trying to tell me that I was way off course. My goals weren’t in resonance with my spirit.

Have you ever felt this way? Maybe it was a job you were going after, weight you wanted to lose, or a business you were building. You started out excited and energized and when you didn’t see things happening, you gave up.

And told yourself you’re not good enough, lazy or just plain unlucky.

Well, here’s my first piece of advice…Stop it! You weren’t put on this earth to feel badly about yourself. No amount of self-degradation will get you anywhere.

Maybe, the time has come to reevaluate your priorities and the way in which you approach them.

Tips For Having Goals without Guilt

Make sure it’s a goal that comes from your heart or has meaning to you. For me, goals that were purely financial weren’t very inspiring. Everyone has different driving forces, make sure yours is right for you.
Release the outcome to God or the Universe. Of course you’ll need to take action towards your goal, but don’t get hung up on the results. Know that whatever is meant to be will happen, but keep in mind, it may not happen according to your timetable.
Enjoy the journey. If it’s a true passion, you’ll be in it for the long haul. Whether you achieve your goal or not, at least you’ll be enjoying yourself. If one of your action steps has you doing something you don’t like for a while, weigh the pros and cons; is doing something as a “means to an end” worth it for you?
Know that you’re already worthy. Your self-worth doesn’t need to come from what you do or your accomplishments.
Have the end goal in mind, but recognize there are different paths that can lead to it.
- Be creative, make a list of all the different ways you can fathom to achieve your goal. Have fun and be irrational, you never know.
- Sometimes obstacles come up, but don’t let them throw you off. Think of it as a detour.
Believe that the outcome will always be for the best. If one door closes, that means there’s an open door waiting for you somewhere. You just have to find it.
Treat it like a game (Unless you’re a sore loser) or an experiment and you’re just testing out hypotheses. When one thing doesn’t work out, go back to the drawing board and try again.
Don’t be afraid to admit when you’ve outgrown a goal or simply don’t want it anymore. The sooner you admit it, the sooner you can move on to something that really inspires you.

Kinder, Gentler Goal Setting

For those of you who cringe when you hear the word “goals”, no worries, it doesn’t mean you have to move to a misty mountaintop on the other side of the world.

There are many to different approaches you can take to make changes in your life. In fact, you don’t even have to call them goals if you don’t want to. How about “things I want to do”?

Here are a few alternatives to the traditional S.M.A.R.T. method:

Having a one word theme for how you want to feel.
Leo Babauta’s No Goal Method: Simply, find something you’re passionate about and do it.
Clarify what you want…and what you don’t want. You can download the “This-That Rule Tool” by best-selling author Brendon Burchard.
Create a Mind Map – a visual, artistic form of brainstorming.

What one outcome would you like to make happen right now? Is there something you can add to your life that can get you closer that outcome? Or, would getting rid of something (i.e. a bad habit) be more beneficial?

Each day try to do just one thing towards your desired outcome. Those simple actions add up over time and before you know it, you’ve got a life full of inspiration.

Before you go: please share this story on Facebook, RT on twitter. Follow us on facebook and twitter. Subscribe to receive email updates. Thank you for your support!

About the Author

Ally Palmer writes about creating a life full of inspiration, creativity and taking on personal challenges to expand your comfort zone. Ally is a mom of 2, a massage therapist, music lover, guitar player, and introvert seeking and sharing quiet inspiration in a chaotic world.

A Reason to Be Alive

Kate Carpenter — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 00:00:03 +0000

Photo by Alex Stoddard

By Kate Carpenter

“100 years from now – all new people.” – Anne Lamott

Think about that for a minute. Everyone in the world right now will be gone. Will they have left their mark — had an impact — made a difference? Maybe.

How much can one person matter when there are almost 7 billion people on the planet? At any rate, the people who remember them — were impressed by them, disgusted by them, helped by them, hurt by them, loved by them, hated by them — will all be gone, too.

What matters most to each of us is what happens to us today … here … now. The “long run” is of very little consequence. As Ms. Lamott points out — and as John Maynard Keynes is often quoted (out of context) as saying — in the long run, we’ll all be dead.

So why are we here at all? Not even the most brilliant minds on the planet have been able to come up with a definitive answer, although conjecture has made for some very interesting debate. It would seem we’re not meant to solve the riddle during our lifetime.

So we all have to come up with our own reason. All we can do is guess. Maybe we’re here to earn our way into some version of heaven. Maybe we’re here in one of many incarnations, reaping karma and learning lessons.

Maybe we’re being tested, maybe we’re atoning, or maybe we’re just being punished — or rewarded. Maybe we’re a fluke of nature: we live, we die, and that’s it – no real point to it whatsoever. Who knows?

I assume that if there is a reason, that reason must be the same for everyone on earth. But how can that be when there is so much disparity among the people on the planet? From the billionaire who lives in Trump Towers with a Jacuzzi and room service to the Ugandan who lives in a mud hut with no electricity or running water, what is it that we all have in common?

Love and suffering.

I know there will be those who’ll argue that life doesn’t guarantee suffering, and that only pessimists and naysayers would suggest such a thing. But I have to disagree. Every human being develops attachments to people, places, and things that can — and ultimately will — be lost to them.

A basic premise of Buddhist teaching is that it is this very attachment to earthly things (including our own life) and the ultimate loss of these things that causes all suffering. Every faith from Judaism to Islam recognizes suffering as part of earthly life. And the very foundation of Christianity is the suffering of Jesus, Mary, and even God Himself.

The only antidote for suffering is love. Compassion, caring, sympathy, empathy, kindness, concern … these emotions are meant to alleviate the suffering of those around us. The lack of love is itself a form of suffering. Love is what we all ultimately have to offer if we want to matter in this lifetime. Nothing else we accomplish, acquire, or become is of any importance at all in the end.

So maybe it’s that simple, and this is the purpose of life: to care enough for others to try to alleviate whatever suffering they are going through — to make a positive difference in their lives in whatever way we can, whether it’s through giving money or inspiring hope or simply spending a little time to listen.

If we all lived by this principle, life would be both richer and easier for every one of us. Both the giving and the receiving would bring the happiness that material possessions promise but never deliver.

And if, at the end, we discover that there was some other “purpose,” for our life, at least we will have made the journey more bearable for each other while we were here.

Before you go: please share this story on Facebook, RT on twitter. Follow us on facebook and twitter. Subscribe to receive email updates. Thank you for your support!

About the Author:

From Kate Carpenter: I became a simple living groupie in college when I read Living Poor with Style by Ernest Callenbach in 1972. I started writing about it in 1998. I left the rat race to do it full time in 2010. I love stripping life down to its fundamentals without any distractions or complications blurring the focus. My goal every day is to make something simpler, smaller, or more clearly understood. Life shouldn’t have to be so hard!

5 Ways to Find Your True Desire

Kate Swoboda — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 00:00:14 +0000

Photo by Hannes Caspar

By Kate Swoboda

“We are not meant to be perfect;
we are meant to be whole.”
~Jane Fonda

It’s the crisis of the modern era: stressed-out, disconnected, working so hard and not knowing what, exactly, we’re working for. Entire lives are planned around promotions and pay raises, or around simply surviving the day-to-day, and then we look around and ask ourselves: Is all this work actually getting me where I want to go?

I’ve found myself in this position–the position of the person who has figured out how to work hard and achieve things, but has realized with a sudden and startling clarity that she doesn’t actually know that they are things she wanted.

What do you do when you’ve pursued the things you’ve been conditioned to want, and find that once you’ve got them–they weren’t what you really wanted?

Perhaps what you’ve sought was some outward measure of perfection, and now the journey is towards wholeness.

Where do you start figuring out what it is that you truly desire?

Answer: you start looking in some unexpected places.

1. Jealousy is Telling

Jealousy is so often viewed as a negative, petty emotion–and sure, on some level, it can be. But what if, instead of rejecting it, you embraced it and then asked yourself what it was there to tell you?

Jealousy shows me where I want something, but I’m afraid to claim it. For instance: I have never been jealous of a doctor. Not a single cell in my body wants to, well, be messing around with anyone else’s cells. I don’t care that M.D.s make a lot of money or have a lot of social clout. I’m thrilled that doctors are there when I need them, and I have zero desire to join them–that’s someone else’s dream.

By contrast: I’m jealous when I hear that anyone has got a book deal. I want it. It’s on the life list. I’m jealous of the woman wearing a hot pair of shoes that I’ve passed up, trying to be “practical” (note to self: release the practicality; wear the fun shoes). I’m jealous when someone gets back from a workshop and has had a breakthrough experience in exactly the places where I struggle.

In essence, I’m only ever jealous in the places where I desire something–jealousy is a powerful indicator of desire. It’s not always petty–certainly, I don’t wish for someone else to have had a lesser experience–so much as I want to share in it.

Use your jealousy to point you towards what you desire.

2. Shadowing Your Friends

Who do you associate yourself with, and why? Who are you gravitating towards, and how do you feel when you hear about their lives? If you hear about a friend who does something they’ve longed for–whether that’s find Mr. Right (or break up with Mr. Wrong), going on a meditation retreat, or deciding to pursue a creative passion–and you notice that a part of you feels carried along for their journey, like a willing participant. That’s alignment.

In those moments, what others are doing is aligning with something that you desire for yourself. What that is, exactly, might not be obvious. Perhaps your friend letting go of Mr. Wrong will translate, for you, to a desire to speak up about the places in your life where you wish to be more honest.

Regardless, noticing who you choose to surround yourself with–and why you choose those particular people–can indicate to you where your own values lie.

3. Examining the Uncomfortable

What feels ill-fitting and uncomfortable in your life, like a shirt that’s a bit too small, the armpit creases rubbing armpits every time you move?

For example, if I see that it continually bugs me that a friend is late, I’m probably desiring more accountability in my life (and rather than putting it on the friend, I can put it on myself and look for the ways that I’m not accountable, or the ways in which I lie and say, “Oh, it’s okay” when someone else isn’t accountable).

Persistent discomfort isn’t just a sign that something isn’t working for you–it’s a sign that points you exactly towards what could work well. Look to whatever is the opposite of the irritation, and then ask yourself how you can get more of that positive opposition into your life.

4. Getting Curious About the “No Way!” Response

Perhaps you hear about a friend who decides to run a marathon. “No way could I do that!” you think. Maybe you come across a brochure for a 10-day silent meditation retreat. “No way could I do that!”–and you put the brochure away.

Perhaps you’re reading a magazine in a doctor’s office and someone is describing how they took an acting class or speaking course, and you find yourself cringing at the thought of getting up in front of all of those people.

In this case, the “No way!” response is not of the “that holds zero interest for me” variety. Instead, this “No way!” response is the response of intimidation mixed with admiration. There’s something intriguing about the idea that anyone would do this crazy thing that you’ve just heard or read about, and you can’t imagine yourself doing it, but it’s still sort of interesting.

In cases like these, follow the energy. That “No way!” response carries a lot of juice. Aren’t you even just a little bit curious about why you’d have such a strong reaction to the idea?

Like jealousy, the “No way!” response can carry indicators of significant, yet hidden, desires.

5. Take No Action

In the self-help industry, there can be so many exhortations to “take action” and “clarify!” and “focus!” that someone can find themselves bouncing around between personality tests to values clarification exercises to workshops to uncover hidden blocks to…well, you get the picture.

One of the fastest ways to gain clarity, whether it’s for big-picture questions or small, nagging “What’s next?” fears is to take no action.

Yes–stop doing anything, at all, for a period of a week or more.

Particularly if you know that you’re in the thick of it and that things are feeling foggy and unclear, it’s important to find a few days with no work, no obligations, no nothing except for you to simply “be.”

Note: this might be an area where you immediately have a “No way!” response, followed by a litany of reasons for why that could never happen in your life (time, work, money, kids, etc.) Notice that this might be an indicator of your truest desires.

When we stop doing anything, we open up space to listen more deeply. It never fails to amaze me how quickly clarity can come when I simply take a step back from everything, altogether.

The truth is, when it comes to clarifying what you truly want, there is no 1-2-3 step plan that can be applied to the masses.

Clarifying what you truly want comes differently for each person. The approach of examining our rough edges in order to clarify our desires might seem contrarian, but paradoxically, it can lead to some surprising new avenues.

Put this into action: consider that you needn’t apply any of these processes to the larger “What am I doing with my life?” question. You could simply think of something smaller, like a conflict at work, fear over paying the bills, or trying to figure out what to do next in your business, and see how applying any of these approaches brings you closer to clarity.

Before you go: please share this story on Facebook, RT on twitter. Follow us on facebook and twitter. Subscribe to receive email updates. Thank you for your support!

About the Author:

Kate Swoboda is a life coach, speaker and writer who specializes in courage. You can learn more about her at YourCourageousLife.com, where she writes about courageous living, integrity, and ferocious love. Life Coaches can check out her resources for business and leveraging your practice over at YourCourageousBlueprint.com

>> See All Articles From Kate? Click here to read all articles written by Kate.

Letting Go of Expectations

Kayla Albert — Mon, 15 Apr 2013 00:00:04 +0000

Photo by Shannon

Editor’s Note: I loved this article. Don’t miss this one. Enjoy.
P.S. Read it without any expectations. :)

By Kayla Albert

“Things turn out the best for people
who make the best of the way things turn out.”
~John Wooden

Right around the time I reached middle school, when the presence and opinion of my friends trumped that of anyone else in my life at the time, birthdays started to represent something more than just a day I might get all the things my parents refused to buy me the rest of the year.

Birthdays suddenly became the one day that I expected to have an outpouring of love and adoration, the one day that my presence in the world could actually be validated.

Yes, friends and family could shower me with love on any of the other 364 days of the year, but if they didn’t do it on that one day, that simply meant they didn’t care.

Now that’s a lot of expectation for so many people in such a short amount of time, and I can say that a lot of my birthdays ended in tears for the phone calls I didn’t get or the cards I didn’t receive.

Age certainly helped tone down the lofty expectations I had, but they never fully disappeared.

A few years ago, I was living in a small desert town in California, miles from any decent restaurants and void of any suitable places to spend a birthday. I was disappointed with the day from the moment I opened my eyes.

My well-meaning boyfriend — who has always insisted we not place any importance on his own birthday — left me to decide if we would drive the 60+ miles to go out to eat that night or we would just make dinner at home.

I decided on the latter, blaming the distance with a heavy sigh and a mopey demeanor. He went to work preparing my favorite meal, spending a ridiculous amount of time slicing and frying potatoes for fries that were far better than those found at any restaurant. He even uncorked a bottle of wine we were saving for a special occasion.

Yet, all I could think about was the fact that it was just us, sans our friends and family, and no pomp and circumstance to ring in my 23rd year.

The heavy baggage of expectations I had been carrying with me for years had given me tunnel vision, robbing me of the simple joy and undeniable love that was present in that moment.

If I hadn’t approached the day with a preconceived notion of how it should be, I would have had nothing to compare it to and I could have fully appreciated how things unfolded.

Expectations are tricky that way. The vast majority of the time — unless we are miraculously able to craft our expectations to match reality — they leave an aftertaste of lack, no matter how abundant the present moment actually is.

If we allow expectations to determine the happiness we feel in regards to a certain situation, the chances that we will be satisfied are slim.

I do know that there are some expectations that have provided me with guidance in my life — the expectations I hold for others when it comes to how they treat me, and the expectations I hold for myself when it comes to doing things to the best of my ability.

It’s the expectations that look for validation and happiness in outside events and circumstances that don’t serve me well — the expectations that lead me to search for meaning anywhere other than within myself.

Today I see birthdays very differently — they are a time for inner reflection, my own individual ending and beginning. Instead of calculating the number of birthday messages I receive, I pour my energy into celebrating where I’ve been and where I’ll go in the next year.

Here are five tips for embracing What Is and releasing your own expectations, wherever they tend to congregate.

Tip #1 – Practice Gratitude

Gratitude has a way of awakening us to the present moment in the most positive way possible and, chances are, if you’re thinking about what is, you have less room to think about what isn’t.

If you find yourself reflecting on unmet expectations, turn your energy to recognizing all the things — no matter the size — that are positive about the situation or the circumstances.

Tip #2 – Be Open to the Possibilities

In all reality, if things always happened the way we hoped or expected, life would be utterly predictable and completely unexciting. The possibilities are endless, but if we are resistant to letting life unfold as it is meant to, we tend to paint unexpected occurrences in a negative light.

Let it go. Holding on to expectations goes against life’s flow and can make your reality unbearable when it doesn’t need to be.

Tip #3 – Laugh It Off

When I was younger, a day trip I took with my family when we were vacationing in Italy turned disastrous when my parents decided we should park our rental car and take the subway in order to “really experience the culture.”

What should have taken an hour ended up taking nearly five after our train was delayed then cancelled and we were shuttled to another station only to find out we would have to take a bus to our final destination.

We were expecting a magical day strolling the streets of Florence, but instead we ended up creating a hilarious memory we still share at family gatherings. Our expectations were pummeled, but laughter made it an oddly enjoyable experience.

Tip #4 – Communicate Expectations

I believe that one of the biggest culprits of unmet expectations is putting pressure on others to do certain things or act in a certain way without their knowledge.

We place meaning on things that other people may not know we find meaningful and we test them based on what they do or don’t do. Basically we set them up for failure and allow ourselves to base our satisfaction on whether or not they have met our expectations.

So if you need or want something, let others know. This will do wonders in preventing the pain of unmet expectations.

Tip #5 – Daily Celebrations

Often times we place a great deal of importance on holidays and birthdays because we see them as one of the few days out of the year that we can really enjoy ourselves. Then, when they don’t go as planned, we feel as if we have to wait for another special occasion to roll around before we can have fun again.

In truth, if we turned more events into celebrations and gave ourselves permission on a regular basis to have fun, there wouldn’t be so much pressure to have our expectations met on these specific days.

Let loose and celebrate the simple fact that you’re alive. Spontaneity makes it virtually impossible for expectations to form.

Before you go: please share this story on Facebook, RT on twitter. Follow us on facebook and twitter. Subscribe to receive email updates. Thank you for your support!

About the Author

Kayla Albert is freelance writer intent on living life deliberately. You can follow her at Confessions of a Perfectionist. If there’s a writing project you’d like for her to tackle, visit her website at kaylaalbert.com

>> See All Articles From Kayla? Click here to read all articles written by Kayla.

Stepping into Visibility

Guest of TSN — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 00:00:35 +0000

Photo by Hannes Caspar

Guest Story By Britt Bolnick

“The authentic self is the soul made visible”
~Sarah Ban Breathnach

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about visibility after a two-day retreat dedicated to bringing my business to the next level.

For women, visibility can be a very mixed bag. And until this past week I hadn’t quite connected the dots around how our beliefs and fears about personal visibility so deeply impact our ability to put ourselves (and our heart-centered businesses) out there.

I grew up in the West Village of New York City in the 80’s. As a pre-teen walking the streets of NYC I attracted a lot of unwanted attention from men.

I can remember getting in trouble over and over again with my mother for wearing my headphones walking on the street, music blasting through my earphones. She had a rule about not wearing headphones on the street because she thought it was dangerous, since she figured I couldn’t hear the traffic around me.

So I’d get punished again and again. And she never asked me why I consistently risked punishment to wear my headphones outside.

My shameful secret was that I was harassed all the time – on a daily basis – by men as I walked down the street. Sometimes it was annoying, sometimes upsetting and scary. Some of what they said turned my stomach and made me hate the way I drew their eye, made me hate my newly developing breasts and hips. They made me feel ashamed of myself for provoking them.

They made me wish I were invisible. They made me angry and frightened. They made me feel incredibly out of control over the way I was seen and treated. And I had no words for what was happening to me.

So I got angry. And because it never felt like an option to avoid their stares, I got mean, and cultivated a volatile F-you attitude.

“You want to stare at me? I’ll give you something to stare at. I will make myself unattractive to you.”

I became the angry rebel girl, with thick, black make-up and ripped up clothing. I scowled, talked too loud, and acted obnoxious on the streets with my friends.

In addition, while I thought I looked awesome, my increasingly tough appearance disqualified me for much of the unwanted attraction I had been abused by for years.

So visibility, for me, was first something to shrink from, to avoid, something that brought threats and frightening behavior directed at me. Then it became something that I flaunted, that I cultivated specifically to irritate people, put them off of me, discourage them from approaching me – I wore my visibility as a porcupine wears her needle-sharp quills.

The way I looked, the reactions of people shaking their heads at me, was my armor. And it was a connection to many, many other kids who felt similarly.

Fast forward to today. I’m 39. I have a 6-year old daughter and my own business that I love. And I’m still carrying a little bit of that young rebel in my heart. I have tattoos. I’m more comfortable in jeans and high-top sneakers than anything formal or business-like. I rescue pit bulls and volunteer with compost and worms in my free time.

And I just realized how my old beliefs and fears around visibility are totally keeping my business smaller than it wants to be – they’re limiting the amount of women I can reach and support.

Here’s why. My old belief—from way back when—is that visibility is threatening, dangerous, shameful. And my reaction from back then was to make myself unattractive, off-putting, and abrasive.

I got so used to my safety being tied to that image, to the knowledge that I looked a little crazy, a little rough around the edges, a little far outside the box…and I’ve carried that with me all this time.

Fast forward 15 or 20 years. I’m a small business owner and a loving, involved single mother. I’m the sole representative for a service that guides women to their inner wisdom, to creating balance and joy in their lives, to creating healthy relationships, and devoted self-care.

But I’m still shrinking from being seen.

In my head my old image, the one that kept me safe, is in direct opposition to the new, business-owning, woman-serving, hugely-shining woman I am today.

Whenever I’ve had an opportunity to put myself and my coaching business out there, I would hear the old fearful believe—no one’s going to want to work with me, no one will take me seriously, that I won’t be viewed as a person who can inspire and guide other women.

Now, I know that’s not true. I know that there are so many women whom I have immensely helped, who have benefited from working with me.

I know that when women meet me, the ones who are my ideal client are inspired by me, by the way I walk my talk, by the way I stand for what I believe in, by the way I refuse to conform to anyone’s expectations or definitions, by the way I create my life and do what I love.

And I’m working really hard on knowing that I can be visible AND safe – that it is okay and safe to be me … to stand tall, show up, attract attention, and get noticed.

Because it’s time.

Before you go: please share this story on Facebook, RT on twitter. Follow us on facebook and twitter. Subscribe to receive email updates. Thank you for your support!

About the Author

Britt Bolnick, of In Arms Coaching, is dedicated to guiding and supporting women who are ready to look clearly at where they are, where they want to go, and what’s standing in their way of creating joy, balance, and manifesting their heart’s dreams! Check her out at InArmsCoaching.com, or write to her at britt@inarmscoaching.com

My Story of Overcoming Fear

Mika Maddela — Mon, 01 Apr 2013 00:00:09 +0000

Photo by Valerio Boncompagni

By Mika Maddela

“Expose yourself to your deepest fear;
after that, fear has no power,
and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes.
You are free.” ~ Jim Morrison

I was pacing back and forth after the plans were almost finalized.

I was going, finally, to meet this guy who I’ve been chatting with from an online dating site–my first foray into the world of online dating!

As soon as I hung up the phone with him, I was trying to talk myself out of going. I was trying to think of the possible reasons why I had to cancel.

The lame excuses included: I had to take my cat to the vet. There was a work deadline I had to meet. I came down with the flu.

Why was I being such a “Sissy La-La” about this?

I was afraid.

All the “what-ifs” came barreling right at me.

What if he didn’t like me?
What if I repulsed him?
What if I reveal something embarrassing about myself (like my paralyzing fear of bunnies–true story!)?
What if we had nothing to say to each other?

Other than a few casual dates, this was my first time back in the dating scene since my big breakup.

If you’ve met me, you would be surprised I had such an adverse reaction to social settings. Off the bat, you’d probably think I’m outgoing and bubbly.

However, due to being burned in the past, when it came to intimacy and vulnerability that was something I struggled with.

Dating wasn’t the only time I’ve ever felt anxious about putting myself out there.

I’ve gotten invitations to parties and my first thought would be, “Oh no, I have mingle and socialize?!?”

To be honest, the thought of being vulnerable and showing people the real me, scared the bejeezus out of me.

I’ve always envied people who had no problem being the center of attention, making people laugh with their interesting stories and witty remarks. To this day, I still wonder how the art of conversation and storytelling seem so effortless for some people.

Usually at parties, I was the quiet girl sitting at the end of the table; slowly sipping her third cocktail (just to make the situation more tolerable… all while desperately hoping that the “liquid courage” would kick in) while everyone was caught up in other conversations.

I would try to join conversations with remarks that no one would hear or I would do my best to feel included by laughing at times when it seemed appropriate.

The fear of rejection prevented the real me from showing up in my relationships. Most times I was uptight, tense, and my interactions with people were somewhat shallow and forced.

I felt like such a phony and a loser.

I began to decline invitations and avoid social gatherings all together.

My insecurities and my limiting beliefs ruled my life as my fears paralyzed me from moving forward.

It’s not just in romantic situations where this fear resides. Fear of rejection and not being enough prevented me from applying for a job, applying for a school or buying that trendy hat I saw at the store–fearing the ridicule.

The pain from my past and my limiting beliefs formed my fears.

Some of my inherent beliefs that said I wasn’t smart enough, pretty enough, good enough and most of all, I wasn’t worth of my wants, made me act from a place of mere self-preservation.

I avoided feeling vulnerable, taking risks and showing people the “real me.”

When the pain of my reality was more painful than the act of changing…

I knew I couldn’t live that way any longer.

The night before my big date, I accidentally left my phone beside the swimming pool in my apartment complex, which was already locked up for the evening behind a tall metal fence.

A part of me was relieved. I thought, “Hey! What do you know! This could be my excuse to not show up because I didn’t have access to my phone to confirm the time and location.”

And then a small voice told me told me that there was only one thing I could do.

“START CLIMBING!”

With a grumbling sigh, I climbed over the fence, with my back pressed against the wall, and I slowly shimmied my way towards the pool’s entrance. I scaled the two inch-wide ledge that kept me from falling face first into the pavement. I was 8 feet above ground and if I slipped, then I would have really had an excuse to cancel on him.

When I got to my phone, I felt an immense triumph washed over me.

That night happened over four years ago.

And to this day, the man I almost flaked out on and I laugh whenever I retell this story.

I learned that pain in life is inevitable but suffering is optional.

It’s what you do AFTER the pain that’s important.

No one likes to feel rejected after being vulnerable. But holding onto that pain will prevent you from ever moving your life in a forward direction.

When you’re focusing on the “what ifs” in life and what you DON’T want to happen, your fears will paralyze you–most likely validating what you feared most.

By focusing on where you want to go, instead, you’ll come up with ways on HOW to get there.

Just like how I did that night.

If I never scaled that fence to retrieve my phone and confirm my date in time, I never would have started a life with a man I love more each and every day.

When we allow our fears to have their hold on us, we miss out on the beauty of life… and the possibilities of tomorrow.

Before you go: please share this story on Facebook, RT on twitter. Follow us on facebook and twitter. Subscribe to receive email updates. Thank you for your support!

About the Author

Mika Maddela writes for the relationship advice blog, The Path to Passion. She is passionate about helping people create space for them to be unselfishly committed to the success and vitality of their relationship through self-awareness and emotional responsibility. For Think Simple Now readers, she’s hooking you up with a free copy of the Total Life Turn Around Course.

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How to Overcome Perfectionism

Rebecca A. Watson — Mon, 18 Mar 2013 00:00:54 +0000

Photo by Jonathan Jacobsen
By Rebecca A. Watson

“Striving for excellence motivates you;
striving for perfection is demoralizing.”
~Harriet Braiker

My neighbor came to my door while I was baking my first loaf of gluten-free bread. She said she admired our diets and told me how she was doing more to eat less sugar.

“I’d heard from a lot of people that it makes a lot of sense for them,” I said, “but I just didn’t think I could cut another thing out. I mean, after getting rid of dairy, wheat, caffeine and sugar, what would be left?”

She laughed a little and said, “Well it’s all about just cutting yourself some slack. You don’t have to be perfect or anything.”

Here’s my confession: I have this compulsion to be perfect. Everything I do has to be just so, or I don’t want to do it at all. And I don’t think I’m alone in this.

Perfectionism is the bane of Type-A folks everywhere. Some people may be impressed with it, but only the perfectionist knows the true torture of this trait.

While many people are lucky enough to not battle this on a daily basis, there’s still a lot of emphasis on perfection, particularly in a culture that “photoshops” away freckles and auto-tunes out flawed pitch. It’s hard to avoid the trap of expecting perfection, even if you’re a laidback type.

After struggling with this for years, I’ve come up with a few phrases I say to my inner critic, who gets especially fired-up if I decide to skip a workout, drink an afternoon cup of coffee or procrastinate a little on a deadline, no matter how beautiful it is outside.

They don’t always work (nothing’s perfect after all), but they definitely can help balance the scales a little bit.

1. Perfect is Boring

Another word for perfect is flawless, or unblemished. This is all fine and good when you’re buying a new car, but who wants to describe their vacation as “unblemished?” Or if you’re running around with friends, who wants a night of karaoke to be “flawless?”

When things go wrong, they make the best stories. At dinner the other night, my sister and brother-in-law were fondly recalling their honeymoon — they had purple crabs in their bathtub, rode a bus filled with chickens and rolled their luggage down dirt roads.

They were smiling and laughing as they told us about it. If they’d had a perfect honeymoon, we wouldn’t have been having that conversation. It’s the bumps and lumps that make life memorable. Embrace the chaos, let go of your definition of seamless and tell yourself, perfect is boring.

2. Practice Makes Better

Replace the old adage “Practice makes perfect,” with this one. It may not have been my piano teacher who said this for the first time, but she was the one who drilled it into my head.

You can play the same piece over and over, practicing your whole life and still never play it exactly as it was meant to be performed. I used to view that as a challenge, but as I’ve blossomed into an artist I see that as a fact.

Even the person who wrote the music can’t recreate the same thing over and over; only a machine can do that. No matter what you apply that to, whether it be an athletic event, a day at the office or an afternoon in the garden, it’s true.

You can work hard, practice, your whole life, but perfection isn’t just about you. Circumstances change, weather shifts and people interfere. But if you’re not trying to be perfect, just better than you were before, it is just about you and what you can do.

3. Do Your Best

One day I lamented to a friend that I was worried about an article I’d written not being good enough when I turned it in.

“Did you do your best?” she asked.

“Well, yeah,” I replied. Duh, I thought.

“Then that’s all you can do,” she reasoned. “Let it go.”

It was like a little light went off in my head. This realization has helped me let go of so much anxiety and worry. I’m usually pretty good at knowing when I’m slacking off, but it seems like I’d never recognized when I was doing my best, which was most of the time.

A strength training program I’ve been using recently has helped me add to this little mantra: Do your best and forget the rest. If you’re doing that, the perfection monster loses its teeth.

4. Everybody Makes Mistakes

One of my friends called me to tell me about an email she received. The director of her prestigious school had sent her the grades of everyone in her program, mistaking her name for a colleague’s. Whoops.

We’ve all been there. It doesn’t matter how many years we’ve been on this earth, how long we’ve been doing our jobs or the number of hours we’ve pursued a trade, mistakes are inevitable. It just comes with the territory of life.

Whenever I make a major snafu, I try hard not to beat myself up about it. But as a perfectionist, it’s often about the fear of making the mistake, not the one you’ve already made. It can be paralyzing.

So I think of stories like the one above or other slipups I’ve had in the past. Life didn’t end for that director, and I’m still breathing. We all make mistakes, I say, and move on with my day.

5. Be Yourself: Nobody Does It Better

I once read that a big reason people strive to be perfect is that then there’s nothing to criticize. That really resonated with me. Taking criticism is something I’ve always struggled with.

But I realized that if I try to be perfect just to avoid people’s assessments, I’m not only refusing to accept myself, I’m refusing to grow. That’s a heavy price to pay, especially when the reality is that no one can avoid judgment, because no one’s perfect.

When I start to notice I’m evaluating every part of myself and my day with a perfectionist eye, I ask myself: Am I just trying to avoid an imaginary critic? Just be yourself.

It’s tough to hear something negative about yourself, especially when you’re fighting your own critic all day long. Accepting who you are and what you’re doing right now allows you to be more comfortable with yourself and makes a few friendly words of constructive criticism much easier to swallow.

~~~

We’ve all got faults. It’s part of what makes us human.

As we learn to embrace every part of ourselves and let go of our need for control and perfection, we become more whole. It’s a lifelong goal, but it’s well worth pursuing.

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About the Author

How to Find Your Purpose

Cat Li Stevenson — Mon, 11 Mar 2013 00:00:52 +0000

Photo by Shannon
By Cat Li Stevenson

“There is not one big cosmic meaning for all,
there is only the meaning we give to our life.”
~Anais Nin

What is MY purpose?

This is the recurring question I would ask myself over and over: searching, seeking, arm-wrestling with each day, in a quest to find where my place was in this grand universe.

I would look around and feel a bit left behind; others seemed to be intensely purposeful, wholeheartedly embracing a career, a path . . . why couldn’t I? What is my path?

I have read dozens of books over the years, complete with countless worksheets and self-development exercises to expand my sense of belonging in the world.

And, in the course of my pursuit, I’ve found a custom blend of practical tips + faith that has guided me to discover who I am and feel comfortable with my own authenticity.

Here are 6 tips I’ve found helpful in discovering my purpose:

1. Zoom In on Core Values

With time, as we evolve into more responsibility, commitments, different social circles and professional networks, it becomes increasingly important to know your specific values.

As your day-to-day decisions will ultimately shape your life, it’s important to know where you’re going and which values are guiding you in a specific direction.

In the past, I’ve only scratched the surface on assessing my values. The Core Values Assessment [Download] has been a helpful guide in identifying values at a deeper level.

When completing the assessment, here are a few tips:

Take your time with it: it’s perfectly okay to start it and come back to it later. This worksheet doesn’t have to be done in one sitting. In fact, you may find more truth and meaningful values will stem from allowing yourself patience to complete it.
Be honest: connect with the true essence of who you are.
Sometimes it is easier to think about the opposite to arrive at your values. For example, what is a trait that irritates you? Or, in other words, what is a trait that would instantly rub you the wrong way when meeting a person for the first time? For me, it’s ego. So, the opposite of this is humility. One of my values, therefore, is humility.
Reference the bottom of page three of The Core Values Assessment for a list of values to assist with the questions.

2. Understand Your Personality Type

We each have strengths, quirks, and weaknesses that sum us up to the amazing, unique person we individually are. When we know who we are, we can be comfortable in our own skin to discover what we are meant to do.

This 72-question Carl Jung and Briggs Myers personality test will assess your character and recommend careers based on your personality strengths.

At any point, if you struggle with the questions (as the answer choice is a simple “yes” or “no”), you may find it helpful to think back to a time when you were a child or teenager to answer the question most honestly.

(Side Note: Tina and I are both INFJs, what’s your type? Let us know in the comment section below.)

3. Reflect

Taking some alone time—whether a walk in the park, coffee on the porch, or lunch by yourself at a diner—is essential to understanding who you are and finding clarity within.

Solitude in a noise-free environment—TV off, iTunes off, children in bed, husband in a separate room—is important when we’re growing. Give yourself a chance to hear yourself think.

4. Hold Space for Not Knowing

I spent a week in the Bay Area last year attending a remarkable conference. Soren—the founder and host of the conference— started out the day brilliantly and in-touch by asking the participants to: “Hold space for not knowing”.

Sometimes we’re not meant to understand our circumstance at this precise moment. Life isn’t black and white, and often the answers we search for are not either. In the process of discovery, this is when we evolve in character, grow in depth, and open up to a colorful world.

Within the unknown, ask yourself questions. This is a practice I continually return to when there really is not a “right” or “wrong” answer. You may be surprised that the advice you’re seeking, the answers you’re searching for already exist within you.

5. Flow

Life happens rhythmically when we allow it to unfold, effortlessly, with genuine intention. Self-induced pressures limit our ability to see the grander picture. When we pull wool over our eyes by creating a sense of urgency that doesn’t need to be there, we can no longer appreciate what the universe has in store for us.

Move away from allowing yourself to “think” your way into a rut. Instead, move towards allowing the “flow” of faith to guide you.

There is no hard and fast rule to live life. There is not a box. Flow with it and see what happens…you may be humbly surprised at the success (however you choose to define it) you find along the way.

6. Love Yourself First

Often times we are our biggest obstacles. In hindsight, reflecting on my journey, the challenges I’ve faced were created by me—I stood in my own way.

The way we see one another and the world is a mirror reflection of the way we perceive ourselves. In order to find our authentic place in the world, we have to first find love for ourselves. We cannot serve the world with our definite purpose, wholly, unless we first serve ourselves.

And, remember, to savor each stepping stone–it’s what makes the purpose you’re so diligently seeking worth the journey in the first place.

Parting Thoughts on Purpose

At the Wisdom 2.0 conference, I met an accomplished author who described my many titles as a “Portfolio Career”. This meant that I was able to live, work, and experience fulfillment through a collection of dynamic skill sets I had created through the years.

His words shifted my perception greatly.

Sometimes acceptance to grow and evolve is all we need to give us the courage to pursue our passion.

For me, I accepted that my corporate career has given me the resources to lead with my heart: it has translated into a wonderful home at TSN to pursue the joy I find in writing, without needing to monetize my passion.

While writing is only part-time, it has been my full-time fulfillment to connect with each of you.

Perhaps these 6 tips will help guide you. Or perhaps acceptance to grow and evolve into the purposeful you is all that is needed to gain courage to explore within.

Or perhaps, you just need a simple, honest reminder–that on this path to find purpose–it is okay to be you and to “hold space of not knowing” is also okay, too.

Reflect and become self-aware; give yourself some wiggle room to be in the flow of discovery on your unique journey.

Take some time to get to know you. Be comfy in your own skin. Live out loud with your authenticity. Embrace you. Love you. Accept you.

You will find your purpose within.

Before you go: please share this story on Facebook, RT on twitter. Follow us on facebook and twitter. Subscribe to receive email updates. Thank you for your support!

About the Author

Cat is a recent corporate escapee, now practicing as a full-time Zen Student. Her home, for the next year or so, is on various meditation cushions in the world.

* Click here to read all articles written by Cat.

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The Gifts of Being Vulnerable

Guest of TSN — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 01:00:51 +0000

Photo by Hannes Caspar

Guest Story By Kaci Metzger

“The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keep out the joy.” ~Jim Rohn

Not too long ago, I found myself sitting around with a group of friends playing the One-Word game—a game where each person uses one word to honestly describe another person in the group. Everyone goes around until they have been “worded” by everyone else.

It’s fun and exciting until you get labeled as something you don’t necessarily identify as positive. The word that kept coming up for me: Guarded.

I got it. It made sense. I have a difficult time opening myself up to people.

I know that it’s uncomfortable past experiences that cause me to be guarded. I’m not one who dwells much upon the past or holds grudges, but along my journey, I’ve formed certain defenses in an effort of self-protection.

But now I yearn to be more vulnerable and be more open to my emotions. Because I know the wellspring of life rests in honest, truthful, meaningful connection with others. And that requires letting down my guard.

This self-exploration led me to ponder the broader issue:

What does it mean to feel something?
What are emotions?
Why do we get happy or sad or mad or depressed or excited or giddy?

And the conclusion I came up with is that emotions are an abstract interpretation of our reaction to the world around us. They are not conscious choices or decisions. They are not necessarily meant to be dissected or even understood.

But they must be acknowledged and shared if we want to connect with other human beings.

Feelings and emotions are the invisible cords that run through our lives – connecting our brains to our hearts. But they are also the invisible cords that run horizontally from me to you and you to me.

That’s why we can relate to each other despite all our superficial differences. That’s why we’re able to feel empathy for people who seem to have nothing in common with us. That’s how we connect to everyone around us.

Because emotions are universal.

But despite the fact that these feelings are a natural part of being human, expressing them doesn’t come easily for all of us.

Acknowledging and expressing emotions make us vulnerable to judgment. That brings risk, because sometimes that judgment is positive, and sometimes it’s negative.

So we may ignore our emotions in an effort to protect ourselves. We may refuse to speak about our feelings with others to avoid their judgment. If we don’t allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we don’t have to deal with the potential for negative experiences.

But we are also incapable of real connection with other people.

So I made a conscious decision that I want to be free enough to love, free enough to feel, free enough to risk. I want to be more alive.

Here are some ways that I have modified my tendency toward being too guarded. These changes have opened up a whole new world for me!

1. Positive Expectation

Approach emotion and vulnerability with the expectation of pleasure. A strong believer in James Allen’s book, As a Man Thinketh, I know that our experiences in life stem from what we expected to experience in the first place.

If I’m constantly trying to guard myself from potential pain, I forfeit any chance to experience pleasure in those moments. I need to allow myself the freedom to have a pleasurable experience that could be born out of my vulnerability.

2. Look for Commonalities

Acknowledge the likeness of others instead of the difference. It’s easy to isolate yourself based upon the perception that everyone is different and they just don’t understand you and your world.

The truth is, we are all human and as much as differences may lace our external shells, at the heart of the matter, we are all very much alike in our pursuit of love and acceptance. Allowing myself to express my feelings enables me to relate more deeply and gain more meaningful connections with others.

3. Beautiful Expressions of Life

Realize feelings and emotions are beautiful expressions of life. Who wants to be around someone who has a tough time being approachable? Nobody.

I looked at myself from the outside and realized that in order to build anything more than just superficial relationships, I must let other people into my life on a deeply emotional level. Vulnerability is one of the most beautiful aspects of a human being–one that makes each of us truly alive.

4. Live in the Now

By learning to live in the present moment, I am able to differentiate past circumstances from current circumstances.

Just because old friends, family or acquaintances may have let me down a long time ago, that doesn’t mean the friends I have today will do the same. It’s not fair to the people in my life now to constantly project onto them negative expectations from what others have done.

I remind myself that each day, each hour, each moment is new and unique. I don’t have to live in fear of being hurt simply because it happened in the past. I can be present here, right now, and experience the joy of feeling my emotions of today.

Parting Words

I encourage you to allow yourself to risk vulnerability so that you can experience life in a new dimension, connect with other people in a way that you only knew as a child, begin to see opportunities that you have been blind to seeing, and come to understand that a life without feeling and emotions is really no life at all.

I hope you will be able to do as I have done—face the fear of vulnerability, allow yourself to feel deeply, unconditionally, and non-judgmentally, and create a real connection with others through the sharing of those emotions. In the end, it will help you to experience a world where you are truly ALIVE.

Before you go: please share this story on Facebook, RT on twitter. Follow us on facebook and twitter. Subscribe to receive email updates. Thank you for your support!

About the Author

Kaci is a Southern Belle turned Hollywood Business VP, who spends her spare time reading, running and writing in an effort to create content to make the world a better place. Notes of optimism and thought provoking insights pulled from every day happenings are scribed at her blog Living Your Story.

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