Thinking Bochur

Goodbye (my last post)

2011-01-14T14:20:00.000-05:00

"The point of this blog is to create an environment where lubavitchers can discuss ideas in chabad philosophy and thoughts about living that philosophy".

I wrote this to describe the point of my blog about 11 months ago. Over that time, I did a lot of thinking and changed, as people do. I became more and more sure about my views . It was a slow process , you can read about it on this blog. As my views began to consolidate , and became more clear , my blog became less questioning , less discussing lubavitch philosophy, and more attacking it, it was a reflection of me.
As I became more clear, I wrote some things which may have hurt some people. If I hurt anyone or even offended them, I apologize for offending them and/or hurting them.
The decision to close this blog is sad. It has provided a much needed outlet, to express my thoughts , feeling, and sometimes my frustrating about lubavitch and towards the end, orthodoxy at large. But my main regret is , that I feel by closing this blog I am contributing to the problem of the Isolation of the Non Conforming Thinkers. But I guess I can offer my advice with regards to this problem , which is to reach out to people , speak with them, you never know, they may relate to you. When you find someone who relates to you, work on that relationship ,it is essential and in most cases worth much more then the effort you put into it, and of course there are many other blogs which you can read.
I would like to thank everyone who took the time to read this blog and comment on it, I hope I helped someone , I hope this blog made someone less lonely , or got someone thinking. I would like to thank all the people who reached out to me, to help me , to discuss things with me , or even just to prove me wrong.I would like to thank the people who continued reading whether I said things that they really agreed with or when I said things which made their blood boil. This is not a bar mitzvah speech even though it is beginning to sound like one , but last but not least I would like to thank my parents for accepting me for who I am, and always guiding me. If you are surprised that my parents read my blog, then you don't understand what special people they truly are.
Thinking Bochur

In one week, Friday the 21st, this blog will end (made private).

The End of Democracy

2010-12-31T14:44:00.003-05:00

It will not be the "evil communist Muslim " , President Barack Hussein Obama, or the liberals in congress . It won't even be the communist country China , or "the axis of evil" North Korea . The end of democracy will be ... The Messiah . You know , that guy who is supposed to to be coming at some point ,to bring world peace and all good . Well guess what. When he comes he will be the king , which means he will have the power to "take your sons and daughters" and make them into slaves, actually he will have the power to do whatever he wants , he is the king after all . There won't be elections . You will be forced to follow him .
Ok I know, we will all want to follow him, because he will be so good, he will be a real king, one who his subjects choose to be subservient to him , due to his greatness . This brings up a question, which Practically is like this ; was communism wrong because it practically failed, or is people existing to serve the state and not having freedom wrong baetzem (in itself). In other words do people really own themselves? Any American will shout, yes, of course! I mean it is enshrined in the constitution. Written by the great Thomas Jefferson, much of it plagiarized and stolen from John Locke but that's another story altogether. But who says all this is true. Maybe man does not really deserve freedom ,and he should be completely subservient to the king/state . Then the only problem with communism is , practically it did not work . If you believe this, then you probably anxiously await the messiah; when finally we can truly serve the state, a king who is incorruptible. But if you ascribe to the philosophy of John Locke: that man truly owns himself and by extension his property , and hence can only be governed by government which he elected , and even that government can't violate certain inalienable rights; then you probably are scared to death of this messiah guy coming. I hope when the Messiah comes ,there will be Thomas Paines and George Washingtons, so we won't lose our freedoms to this monarch.
I think this is what the tea party needs to work on : stopping this Messiah guy from stealing all of our freedom. I promise , compared to the freedom you are going to lose when the messiah comes, the health care bill will seem like child's play .

I know Communism isn't a perfect example of a king , but it is a good example of man not owning himself and his own property.

Looking forward to this new day

2010-12-24T15:09:00.004-05:00

My day usually starts off with my alarm clock going off . My first thought is, go back to sleep (not only because I suffer from the classic bochur disease, chronic tiredness), but also because I am not excited for the coming day. Don't get me wrong. I am not depressed, and yes, there are things in life which I enjoy, but I in general do not look forward to the new day.
I know there will be people who will say; not everyone is lucky enough to enjoy their job or school. So first of all, why not? A lie which I was told by my parents many times, comes to mind "you can be whatever you want". This is a lie told to many children many times. I think it reflects all parents and peoples sadness that things in life went wrong . That sometimes fate triumphed over destiny in their own lives (check out rabbi j.B soleveichiks kol dodi dofeck for more on fate and destiny ).
While that is true, I still believe a human being needs to strive for happiness and satisfaction , To wake up excited to live through each day .
So my goal in life is to ; wake up every day excited to get up and live the new day . Maybe this is not the goal but rather the litmus test to see if I have found happiness and satisfaction in my life .

I need a Guide not a Guidebook

2010-12-17T13:56:00.002-05:00

An essay/letter I wrote in “honor” of yud tes kislev , the rosh hashanah for chassidus.

When searching for a person to look up to , a person who you consider a hero , a person to be your role model; not only is it important for that person to have achievements /qualities which you would like to acquire , it is also important for that person to have struggled to get there , as you do .
The second quality (the idea that the person needs to have struggled ) is one which the person who I have been trained to look up to , is lacking . He never expressed any struggles he had . Actually a core part of following him is believing that he is perfect . This man is the Rebbe . No chassid relates to the Rebbe (and if you think you do, don’t say it out loud because that will effectively end your career as a lubavitcher ), rather the Rebbe lowers himself to relate to the chassid. He is more of a guidebook/lamppost , then a guide. He instructs his followers to overcome their struggles , from his lofty ,lack of struggles, perch . (The term lofty perch is only in relation to his perfection , and not in relation to him being condescending) I contrast this to Rabbi J.B Soloveitchik , a man who begins the introduction to his book ,The lonely man of faith , describing how he’s lonely. He celebrates the fact that he is human with struggles.
The story of Reb Chaim which Rabbi J.B Soloveitchik tells so eloquently, is all telling. The story is as follows . When Reb chaim used to get depressed about death,the frailty, and mortality of man , he used to learn the halachos regarding impurity of a dead body and all the intricate laws about it. This would serve as a reminder that halacha has something to say about everything even death. A story about a great man, but a struggling man. Another way to put this is its a story of a great man , not a story about an angel.
When I was about 15, I heard a story about the Rebbe Rashab which i will never Forget . The Rebbe Rashab used to play a game of chassid and Rebbe with his older brother Zalman Aharon. The Rebbe Rashab (as a child) said many times during these games, "ich vill nit zein kein yebe, a yebe iz einer aber chassidim zainen a'sach". “i don't want to be a yebe (he was too young to pronounce the r sound) , because there is only one Rebbe but there are many chassidim” (translation is mine). Guess what, he grew up to be a Rebbe . When I heard this story I started crying , because I related to the Rebbe Rashab’s loneliness , and that it was his destiny to be lonely. This is not a story commonly told in chabad because it makes a Rebbe human and relateable to , but it is my favorite story of any chabad Rebbe. Even now I feel sad and sometimes even cry when I think of this story.
I believe strongly in the human being ’s ability to struggle , and to even overcome ,sometimes. I not only believe in it but I value it and think it is actually our most important quality. So for me it is essential to look up to people who embody this.

I am testing out reactions on this blog. So if you have a second to spare , please click on one of them . If you think there can be better options please comment or email me.

Elizabeth Smart in the Torah

2010-12-10T12:35:00.000-05:00

While watching and reading Elizabeth smart's testimony, I couldn't help but think. Imagine if David Bryan Mitchell were Jewish , and he had seen Elizabeth in a battlefield, Then he would be justified in raping her every day. Ok fine, he wouldn't be allowed to tie her to a tree, Unless he couldn't control his desire to, and it was in the middle of a war (check out Rashi on the 20:10 of Deuteronomy).

Also on the subject, why does the Torah allow you to rape her forever, as opposed to just letting you have sex with her once. I mean Rashi's explanation that the rabbi's didn't try to stop you because you would not have listened anyways,Does not explain why you are allowed to rape her forever. Besides for the fact that Rashi's logic is completely against the whole rest of the Torah, that we can control our evil inclination. I guess we can go down a philosophical route , which is, you can only control your evil inclination if G-d gives you the strength, but then that leads us into the question, why did G-d choose to not give us the strength to do it in this case. Especially because not giving us the strength here is really harmful to some other people.

I guess what I am wondering is, does anybody else find the idea of eshes yafas toar sick and disgusting? maybe there is some simple explanation , which I don't know, if so please tell me.

You already had your chance

2010-12-08T00:19:00.000-05:00

I just listened to Zeev Brenner , a religious talk show host, interview Malky Schwartz the founder of Footsteps (you can listen to the interview here), a program which provides support to people who want to leave the insular ultra orthodox community which they were raised in.
The basic point of Zeev Brenner and most of the callers was, Shouldn't you also provide a religious leader , so if these kids want to find a place in the orthodox Jewish community they would have someone to guide them . Malkie Schwartz can't do this job herself, because she found in her life the only way to happiness is by leaving the orthodox community. Especially because footsteps is dedicated to ,"just allowing people to make their own choices in a none pressure environment" So if you just want kids to make their own choices, shouldn't you provide a religious Jewish lifestyle as one of the options.
I think it is an absurd suggestion, and it comes from an unwillingness to address a problem in many chareidi communities.

I mean guess what, the rabbis and the schools had their chance . If they wanted to tell the kid hey, Kiryat Yoel or Boro park Judaism is not the only kind of being frum, and there is also Modern Orthodoxy ,they had their chance. I mean as parents and as educators they could have told the child anything they wanted for his/her whole life. By the fact that he/she had to go to footsteps means they failed, and he/she felt like he/she needed to search elsewhere.

How about instead of telling footsteps to get rabbis, we accept that extreme chareidi orthodoxy will not work for everyone and when we see that it is failing for a child , and we have offered everything from chareidi orthodoxy to that child , maybe we should show them Modern Orthodoxy, or at least something that is not as stringent as the child's own community, something which this child can survive in.
If you don't accept or don't like this premise , because you believe it's either "my way or the highway" , in other words my way of Judaism is the only one which is truly worth it, because Modern orthodox people do many "aveiros" anyways. Then why would you have a problem with them going to footsteps, and taking the "highway" ,the I don't fit into "real" Judaism anyways so I might as well try and find happiness outside of Judaism . I mean footsteps by not offering a more modern option of orthodoxy is just following what you taught your children at home, and what you believe.

My point is, it's the child's parents and educator's responsibility to provide a rabbi which can try and make Judaism workable for the child before he gets to footsteps. And if they don't do that, then they can blame themselves for that , as opposed to footsteps for not offering what they (the parents) chose not to offer.

Amelia Bedelia the Mashpia

2010-12-02T12:56:00.014-05:00

Just for all of you who were never privileged to read Amelia Bedelia as a kid, I will give a short introduction. (If you got this privilege, just skip to the third paragraph). Amelia Bedelia is a series of books describing a nanny/housekeeper who takes everything she is told literally, without thinking whether it makes sense. Just two examples so you get the point. When she is told to strip the streets , she proceeds to cut up the sheets into strips . When she is told to hit the road she takes a stick and literally hits the road . It is quite funny.
Ok, so now to the article. If Amelia Bedelia was a mashpia ; she would first read the Rebbe's definition of a mashpia's job, and say ok, so I am supposed to check up on how bochurim are doing spiritually, I can do that. To do this task she would first call the bochurim of her class into her office. Then she would get straight to her job. Without asking how the bochur is doing (because the Rebbe never said that is part of a mashpias job)she would ask question one, do you do chitas ? Then she would ask the bochur do you do rambam? next she would ask the bochur what do you listen to on your ipod ? she would continue on this line of interrogation until she asked every question regarding chassidishkeit . If the bochur said no/gave an answer which said he didn't act like a chassidishe bochur she would look to see what the Rebbe says she should do now . Then she would say oh right I should try and get him to do it . Ok well here goes; do rambam/chitas/chassidishe thing , oh no he said again he does not want to do it , I guess I should tell him to do it again. She would then get stuck in a continuous rut of telling the bochur to do the chassidish thing for the rest of the year.
I would like to contact Peggy Parish , the author of Amelia Bedelia , to tell her about my idea for her next new book, but I don't think I will be able to contact her, especially since she passed away in 1999. So if I have time I will write my own Amelia Bedelia book with the same title as this article.

My views: like a a puzzle that doesn't fit together

2010-11-27T19:19:00.005-05:00

"Do I know my views , yes . do they fit together like a puzzle and make one
beautiful picture , no! They are complex . There are faded and fuzzy
parts and sometimes the pieces don't even fit together . I think the
beauty in my views is the fact that they are the views of a small person trying to figure things out ."
This is an excerpt from an email I sent to a friend in response to him trying to figure out what are my views.

Why do you feel the need to like them?

2010-11-26T13:55:00.000-05:00

I have been asked this question about ,African Americans , Arabs ,Rabbi Hershel Schachter , satmar chassidim , mishichishtim, and anti mishichitism. I am serious , I have been asked this question about all these groups/and Rabbi Shachter. I am not going to write each experience where I was asked this question about each one of these groups, but trust me, I was .
I think the question needs to be studied . I think we need to think long and hard about how it happened that as a community at large our default position has been one of stereotyping people, assuming that they are all bad because they look or act different , or even because some of their Race/religion/group has done things against some of our community. We are heading in a rather dangerous direction , we are zooming towards being a elitist and bigoted community . Is it not scary that I had four 9 year old kids tell me, "it is a mitzah to kill president Barack Obama." They gave me many reasons , he is black , hates Israel , and is an Arab .
my suggestion to solve this problem begins with individuals : parents, teachers ,friends , neighbors . Stop stereotyping! It is destructive , and not true. .Don't use the word shvartzeh (black in yiddish and is almost always used in a derogatory way ) you are teaching your kids that all black people are bad . Be very careful To distinguish between disagreeing with someone , and hating or disliking them . Make sure to emphasize that; I think their ideas are bad but I don't think their necessarily bad people.
If you are reading this, and thinking, oh it's another liberal trying to make us politically correct . Then I would like to tell you I really don't think I am (in this article at least) . I have no problem with someone calling it as they see it . I just want to make sure that before they call it in the way they see it, they have a real reason that they see it that way .
So my dream is, that as a community we will become a community who's default position is, we love every individual human being , until that individual human being does something to negate that feeling of love that we feel for them.
I know I have adopted a tone in this article which I usually avoid. A tone of, I am right . There is a problem and this how we should begin to fix it. I know it is a little condescending , but I chose to do it this way because I really care about this issue , and I really am sure I am right.

Please only control your communities, thanks

2010-11-19T13:39:00.007-05:00

Recently, I have been thinking a lot about the ban on the book making of a gadol . I researched it online a little bit . I think I pretty much read/heard all the basic sources . (The basic reason why this book was banned is because it portrayed the gedolim as human beings with human problems , which some people thought was disrespectful to the gedolim. )
I was pretty shocked to discover that I really could not find a place where I could purchase it (if someone knows where it is still possible to buy the book or borrow it , please email me at thinkingbochur@gmail.com), this caused me to be very angry at chareidim (specifically the zealots). After thinking about it a little bit, I decided/realized I have no problem with the chareidi lifestyle . I mean if they want to live that way , think that way, and even raise their children that way I really have no problem. So if they want to ban books from their communities ok, and if they want to put any bookseller in their communities who sell things which their Rabbonim have put in cheirem , fine . I think that is part of the agreement/social contract of opening a store in a chareidi community , besides for the point that the chareidim have the right to put things in cheirim. (Whether chareidim have the right to demand a dress code in their communities is beyond the scope of this post .) My problem only begins when they start to impose their views on the whole world ; by making it impossible to purchase the items they have banned anywhere.
I hope in my lifetime the book the anatomy of a ban which Rabbi Kaminetzky wrote in responce to his book (Making of a Gadol) being banned will be released to the public and everyone will be able to see rabbi kaminetsky's own views on the subject , and this time we will insure that it is available for anybody who wants to read it .

The Steipler Gaon , open minded?

2010-11-16T14:47:00.005-05:00

A few days ago I heard a story on my ipod from Rabbi Kalmonowitz which reveals a lot about The Steipler Gaon . Rabbi Kalmonowitz went to The Steipler Gaon to ask advice regarding how to deal with a certain bochur . He told the steipler that this bochur has a certain machlah (sickness) called open mindedness and he (Rabbi Kalmonowitz) needs to know how to solve this problem. The Steipler told Rabbi Kalmonowitz that the bochur should learn a certain sefer (I can't recall the name of the sefer) which deals with emunah (faith).

This answer is very revealing . I mean basically the steipler was saying yes, being open minded does contradict Torah and yes it can even challenge torah, but the solution for this (or at least what I believe the solution is) is to have faith . This answer itself is rather open minded. I mean instead of ignoring or dismissing the challenges to Torah he basically recognized they exist . In other words he did not use the classic chareidi method, the, lets proof that am haaretz Darwin wrong in ten seconds, but rather he recognized the difficulties and hence used faith.

I don't think it is a rationalist Rabbi Slifkin (and just for rabbi Slifkin many of the rishonim's approach) type of approach , but he was at least still open minded and honest .

This article may be building a mountain out of a molehill or maybe even a castle out of air , if so please comment in order to destroy my castle .

Really living

2010-11-09T22:25:00.003-05:00

What makes life worth it ? Really living - when a person is really alive, invested in the activity that they are occupied with , when a person doesn't feel like they they are somewhere because they are forced , by circumstance , by friends , by religion , or really anything .

It is pretty easy to tell when a person is really living ; there is a sort of spring in their step , a look on their face of content , happiness , and genuine life . The person is fully and truly there . For some people life can be found in community . For others in religion . It can even be found in two opposite places for two different people. For example for one person it can be found in the hustle and bustle of a busy city . For another person it can be found in the calm of the waves hitting the shore , and then retreating back to the ocean .

The worst and dreariest day can be made worth it by a hour of real life . but if someone is missing that piece of really being alive for at least some time of the day , life stops being worth it.

This is only the beginning of this subject , but I think its a good start , and I hope to expand on it in future posts .

My mistake

2010-11-05T16:12:00.002-04:00

I made a mistake , I posted the wrong thing , then I deleted it . The problem is, the post which I posted by mistake is still on my blog dashboard and probably on yours too, and if you click it, it will tell you that my blog does not exist (because I deleted the article) . The same thing applies to trying to get to it on the side of other peoples blogs. Sorry for the inconvenience , but for this last post you will have to go to my blog by typing in www.thinkingbochur.blogspot.com , or click on this post which will lead you to my blog.
Have a Good Shabbos

What's the matter with boro park

2010-11-05T15:40:00.006-04:00

Recently Carl Paladino , a republican candidate for governor of New York , decided that he could easily (or so he thought ) get the frum/chareidi vote of New York. So he went campaigning to frum shuls with two messages, 1: social conservatism , which is pretty similiar to many chareidi values , i.e. anti abortion , anti gay rights , etc . 2: All the classic conservative / tea party rhetoric , making government smaller , Lowering taxes , reducing the deficit ( how those last two things go together I still don't understand ), and cutting welfare programs .
I would like to focus specifically on two ways out of the many where he messed up trying to win the frum/chareidi vote. 1. He was "mean" to gay people. 2. He ignored the fact that many frum/chareidi people are on welfare (using a variety of benefits ) . Regarding the issue of him being mean to gay people , he was shocked . He thought hey wait, I thought charedim hate gay people . The truth is, they think it's an "abomination", but as one rabbi said , "we are electing a governor not a rabbi".
Also there is no mitzvah (commandment from G-d) to to make your country's law conform with halachah (Jewish law) , and even if chareidim are offended by gay people , and believe they don't have the right to get married , that does not outweigh their concern for welfare programs (their own cash).
In 2004 Thomas Frank wrote a book entitled "whats the matter with Kansas" . The point of the book was to figure out why Kansas in 2004, voted for Bush and not for Kerry. Kerry's economic policies favored most Kansans much more then Bush's did. The books basic answer is ; that the conservative right has successfully gotten people to vote for for social issues instead of fiscal/ economic ones. So Bush won Kansas because people voted for him for the reason that they supported his social views as opposed to his fiscal ones.
I hope after this election Carl Paladino will be able to write the book entitled "whats the matter with Boro park" , and I hope its conclusion is that Boro park suprisingly enough is the opposite of Kansas.

The last stand for individuality in clothing (in yeshiva) : sweaters

2010-11-02T19:24:00.000-04:00

Yeshiva has conquered all our outer clothing making them (our clothes) reflect yeshiva's way of thinking , black and white . But there is one last outer article of clothing which remains free from the oppression of yeshiva's dress code . Free , that any style or any color can be worn by a bochur . That article of clothing is sweaters . Sweaters in Yeshiva range from blue zeidy sweaters with buttons ,to the hottest American Eagle sweater possible .Their disparity is astonishing , well astonishing in yeshiva where everyone needs to look the same . The problem is, the last free article of clothing has been conquered, but not by yeshiva , rather by the fact "that hippieism became a a style ". What I mean by that is , in the middle of the hippieism movement it became normal to be a crazy non conformist hippie . In other and very simplistic words, being crazy became normal . I think the same thing applies to sweaters . If a bochur does decide to wear his own style sweater in Yeshiva he goes to the extreme (which is not his style) . He will put on the hottest and most ostentatious American Eagle sweater . So in the end this does not express the bochur at all . So really, individuality in lubavitch bochurim's clothing has been sadly lost .

Lubavitch's lack of respect for the individual as opposed to the rebbe's immense respect for the individual

2010-10-29T16:30:00.000-04:00

One thing that I have critiqued lubavitch about many times is the lack of individuality , the fact that everyone is expected to dress and think the same. As much as I say that , I always have to think that the Rebbe's respect for the individual is unmatched (in my humble and unimformed opinon) amongst orthodox leaders.
Anyone and everyone who came to the Rebbe walked away with only admiration. One of the reasons for this was the fact that the Rebbe respected their lifestyle. Obviously he demanded for a person to grow in Judaism , but he did it in a highly respectful manner , which did not runover the individual. Whenever someone expected the Rebbe to give him/her a classic answer they were amazed , because the Rebbe's answers were always tailored to the person he was speaking to. If you want to see this for yourself look in the Rebbe's igros (a compilation of the Rebbe's letters).
When the Rebbe was speaking to a person one on one it was as if he threw the broad brush which he used when he spoke to the lubavitch movement at large right into the garbage. The Rebbe obviously never budged from the framework of halachah because he was a religious Jew, but other then that he was willing to respect everyone for who they are , while also demanding them to grow.
Let me be clear . I know this is always the way it works when you are speaking to a large group of people ; you need to use a much broader brush then you would when you are speaking to a few people , or one. But still ,I wish the Rebbe in one sicha just one, would have recognized that bochurim are individuals not just faceless soldiers working to become beninom (people who have an urge to sin but never actually do a sin , see the Alter Rebbe's Tanya) and bring moshiach.

Perspective is takeh (actually/really) everything

2010-10-25T19:40:00.011-04:00

A shliach once told me a powerful story . One year he came into crown heights for the kinus . By a farbrengen one of his friends asked him, " isn't wearing a hat and jacket here a little hypocritical , I mean in the place you live you don't walk around with a hat and jacket? " The shliach explained, " if I don't wear a hat and jacket in the place where I live no one cares, as opposed to if I don't wear a hat and jacket in crown heights it puts me in a specific group which represents certain things, and I don't represent any of those things. So it is more dishonest for me not to wear a hat and jacket then to wear a hat and jacket, in crown heights.

With just a change of perspective what this shliach did is not only not hypocritical but it makes perfect sense. Perspective is very important and sometimes is even redeeming . For example, in a case where a bochur who does not enjoy learning gemara and hence decides to learn some rishonim who discuss topics he enjoys learning. Now, in order for the mashgiach to not bother him he needs to have his gemara open even though he has no intention of learning it . On one hand you can say who is he fooling? I mean if he wants to be in yeshiva he needs to follow the rules and learn what everyone else learns , and even more isn't opening a gemara with no intention to learn it stupid , shouldn't he just go through with his decision and ignore the mashgiach as opposed to playing this whole game .

If a bochur goes to yeshiva with these questions/doubts he probably will not survive the year and will drop out of yeshiva. Even if he does survive the year he will have a terrible and depressing year, but with a change of perspective the bochur can have a great year and feel good about himself. His new perspective could and probably should be. I need to survive ! That is first and foremost. In a perfect world I would go to a yeshiva where gemara is not the focus ,the only problem is we don't live in a perfect world , This coupled with the fact that the bochur's whole world is in yeshiva means in order for a bochur to survive he needs to learn what he is interested in , but not appear to be actively fighting yeshiva. So he needs to be in yeshiva and appear to be learning gemara but really learning what he enjoys . Ok so this is a feasible solution and what the bochur needs to do to survive . Wow how relieving and redeeming . Ok i have made my point.

i would like to thank this shliach for sharing this incredible information about life with me.

The uniform

2010-10-22T14:30:00.004-04:00

A young man wearing the most stylish black blazer possible walks into Gap . He is looking for pants and shirts . He strolls over to the rather small rack of white shirts and begins to thumb through each one , clearly thinking rather deeply about whether he wants a white shirt with lines or checkers , with 2 breast pockets or 1. He takes so much into account , does any of the other 60 guys in yeshiva have that same shirt ? What will the people in shul think about it , what will the community think about it ? Is it too conservative , or is it too causal ? The selection of 5 white shirts has never been analyzed so carefully . Finally he decides on a white shirt with a faint checker pattern , its perfect . Cool but not too cool , conservative enough that his mashgiach won't bother him , and he does not think anyone else in yeshiva has that same shirt . He then begins to search for pants , an endeavour just as difficult as the first . He knows before he even starts that plain black is out of the question . I mean he is just not such a boring guy . He would like to get something causal , blue with very faded pale light blue pinstripes, the problem is, everyone in yeshiva has them . Every variation is worn by at least 10 other bochurim that he knows . Suddenly a light gray pair of pants catches his eye , he is about to put it in his cart ,when he remembers what his mashgiach once told another bochur in yeshiva , "your pants are too light and too tight please change your pants ". He thought these pants may under the "too light" category . Feeling dejected he just went with the striped pants that everyone else has .
Is there a problem with a bochur dressing in his own way ? The uniform is a major part of stifling a person's individuality . The yeshiva uniform takes away the causal persons casualness and replaces it with conservative clothing . It forces people into its rigid box where everyone needs to dress serious . Is it really worth it to replace a persons personality with a badge of their movement/group ?

Perspective is everything

2010-10-20T19:27:00.005-04:00

This world can be a very confusing place for anyone , and especially for a frum jew. Western morals and values conflict with Torah's morals and values . The liberal , do whatever you want attitude of America , flies in the face of Torah.

The enlightenment slowly affected every jewish community in Europe. It started in Germany , and eventually reached Poland and Ukraine . This caused many Jews to become open minded , which led many of them away from Torah , and even the ones who remained frum , definitely became more modern in action and thought/hashkafah.

The solution to this is , to go to the rabbanim regarding all matters of life . The rabbanim have a feel of torah - what G-d would want even in a matter which isn't strictly a halachik question .

This is in general for all Jews, but as lubavitchers specifically we have this solution in an unbelievable way . While many frum jews are struggling and even lost about what to do with regard to issues like Israel/ zionism , artificial insemination, abortion , torah and science, we b"h have a Rebbe who gave us all the answers. All we need to do is find them . If we learn sichos , maamarim, amd igros then we will know what Torah and by extension Hashem wants from us in every and any situation.

Why risk using your own brain?

2010-10-15T14:14:00.006-04:00

Are lubavitchers allowed to think for themselves ? Well lets take what chassidishe mashpiim (mentors) say ; the solution to every question or problem in life can be found in the Rebbe's teachings . This is awesome ! A lubavitcher never needs to use their brain or their heart , everything has already been figured out for them (its really weird that i still see lubavitchers with problems ). Uh oh they have a problem, which is they have a brain ,and not only that but chas vashalom (heaven forbid) their brain thinks differently then the Rebbes's brain . Luckily the solution is very simple, all you have to do is convince yourself the Rebbe's right .

This means Lubavitchers have surrendered their individuality in the area of intellect . This is similar to the idea of daas torah . Which is the idea that the rabbanim should be consulted regarding every matter in life i.e. politics ,who to marry, hashkafah (questions which there is no black and white answer for, according to halachah) , as opposed to only asking them questions on halachik matters. So seemingly when you ask a lubavitcher why he/she has a certain opinion they should answer you, regardless of the topic, because thats the Rebbes opinion . But for some strange reason they always answer because it is logical . But that's not true, the reason why they have that opinion is because its the Rebbes opinion (especially since lubavitchers pride themselves in following the rebbe even when his advice defys all logic ).

Now the Rebbes opinion may also happen to make sense but that is not why lubavitchers have that same opinion , The reason why they have that opinion is because its the Rebbes opinion .

Unless you want to say that is just a mere coincidence that every lubavitchers opinion happens to coincide with the Rebbes opinion every time . Wow what a an amazing phenomenon maybe we should add this as one of the proofs that G-d exists ( yes I believe in G-d , I am just saying that some of these so called proofs of G-ds existence are so simplistic and narrow minded).

Just one last thing . I once mentioned on this blog that the reason why I fluctuate on this blog between Calling lubavitchers "we" or "them" is because i struggle with my identity as a lubavitcher ( see it in the last paragraph in this article http://thinkingbochur.blogspot.com/2010/02/open-minded.html). So this article is very specifically a "them article" , because in this subject I definitely do not identify with lubavitchers .As you have probably seen on this blog, I try to be my own person and think about things for myself , without sticking to any specific "party line".

Why are some chassidish people condescending

2010-10-08T14:55:00.005-04:00

Chassidish person: "why are chassidish people condescending? Well why shouldn't we be , we are more religious doesn't that make us better. Seriously why should unchassidish people exist , what do they contribute to the world . The world was created for people to do Torah and Mitzvos so if they don't do that ,what's the point of them? The real question is, why are there chassidish people who are not condescending , don't they know that they are better."
Ok, now that I have demonstrated how chassidish people can be condescending I will give some of my own reasons why I think they are condescending.
1. As aforementioned some chassidish people really think they are better.
2. Many chassidish people's condescending attitude comes from their lack of self esteem, like most condescending people. Let me try and explain. Basically if someones whole self worth comes from the fact that they are chassidish, they can't accept someone else who has self worth without being chassidish because it threatens the chassidish person's own self worth. That is also why some chassidish people feel like they need to show off their chassidsihkeit to the whole world. ( I know , if they show it off it is not really chassidishkeit.) Since the reason why they value themselves is due to their chassidishkeit , they believe that is also why other people value them , so in order to be valued by other people they need to show them that they are chassidish.

An illustration of the mother and daughter anecdote

2010-10-03T10:22:00.015-04:00

I think there is someone who characterizes the mother and daughters struggle which I wrote about in this article http://thinkingbochur.blogspot.com/2010/08/lifes-struggles-in-ancedote.html .The problem is, this person is political , not only is he political ,but he may be the most political person in the whole world. Yup, you guessed it, President Barack Obama.
I think the only semi political/partisan part of this article is my basic premise that Barack Obama is trying to do good, but to me that is very basic.
So back to what I was saying. Barack Obama was a young African American , with a middle name of Hussein , in the middle of a war against terror, and he decided to run for president.
He realized that he was born with black skin , with an African and Islamic name , and many people were prejudiced against those two things, but he worked in his circumstances to do good. Did he need to make a speech about race , after Jeremiah Wright came up yet again , yes he did. Were there people who tried to paint him as the evil black man who has a deep seated hatred for white people, yes there were, but he never complained about the things which made it harder for him to become president then maybe anyone else, because like "the mother" , he realized that life is about working with what you have and where you were put.
Then there was the other part of the campaign, the part where Barack Obama said I don't give a damn about the way campaigns were run before or the way Washington was run before , I am doing this my way (running a completely grassroots campaign and trying to be honest with voters instead of giving sound bites)! Was he met with difficulty? for sure . The democratic establishment starting from the primaries all the way to inauguration day told him, your strategy is bound to fail , that's not the way we do things around here. But He embodied the idea of "the daughter" , the idea that I am who I am and I won't change because of what other people think.

Things gained in yeshiva (from a secular point of view)

2010-09-27T13:25:00.016-04:00

There are many people who are very critical of yeshivas which there are no secular studies and of yeshivas where the secular studies are treated as a joke , in a way I am one of those people. Their critique is how can you let a student graduate and finish the "system" without any secular education , and no real way to make a livelihood.
In this article, instead of focusing on what yeshiva doesn't give a person I would like to focus on what yeshiva does give a person.
First of all, learning gemara strengthens a person's analytical skills, especially in examining text. I was recently watching a debate between Al Franken (a democratic senator from Minnesota) and Ann Coulter (a conservative pundit who has a show on fox news), they were arguing about something Ann Coulter had written in her book. I realized that I was many steps ahead of them ,I knew what their arguments and counter arguments would be long before they made them , because regarding analyzing text I was an expert.
Second of all, it gives you the ability to read a text many times over to figure out what it is saying. I know, it seems like an easy skill, but I have met many college students who gave up on some philosophical work because they could not figure out the text. To any person who has ever tried to figure out a gemara it is natural to read a passage many times over .
These two skills gained from learning gemara are besides the general advantage of gemara naturally sharpening a person's mind.
I would like to also give a advantage of learning chassidus . Chassidus teaches a person to think abstractly. For example it can help a person understand art because a lot of art is abstract.
I know, this is all besides the advantages of it being a mitzvah to learn Torah etc, but I am writing this article from a secular perspective.
I don't think any of these skills alone will allow a person to make a living, but when a person begins to work to get a degree in order to make a livelihood , it will be much easier because of all the skills a person has acquired in yeshiva .

Beliefs validate actions , actions don't validate belief

2010-09-25T20:52:00.002-04:00

A few disclaimers you need to know before you read the article : These are my unclarified thoughts on being religious. I know , this does not represent all religious people , but I do think it represents most. Last but not least , if this article needs clarification I will definitely clarify through comments and maybe even through another article. The reason why I chose to post this in this fashion, is because I think there is something beautiful about the almost poetic simplicity of this article.
Religious people are religious because overall it works out for them. Then because it works out for them they validate it by convincing themselves it is true .
When it does not work out for them and hence they cease to be religious they then need to validate themselves the other way , therefore they convince themselves its untrue.
People become religious to find meaning (sort of like " it works out for them" but deeper) , then they convince themselves its true.
So believing in truth and the lack thereof is not the basis of actions but rather a supporting factor to actions. The basis of everything examined in this article is it working out/meaning.
Again I think this is true in most cases but definitely not all.

An endorsment!!!

2010-09-22T08:47:00.000-04:00

check this out http://offthed.blogspot.com/2010/09/interesting-read.html (click on the here hyperlink on his blog).