Challenge Myself

Career: Be a tree - grow in place

2017-03-22T11:45:00.002-04:00

In an age when research says millennials change jobs 4 times before age 32 and job sites advise switching companies to advance in your career; they claim "workers who stay with a company longer than two years are said to get paid 50% less, and job hoppers are believed to have a higher learning curve," I'm here to say: try to grow in place.

Last week I celebrated my 9th anniversary with KPMG International; tomorrow is my 38th birthday. I get all reflective around this time of year for sure. I'd like to share the advice I gave a student recently. The power to grow is in your hands.

My path was not direct. I planned on being a writer and a professor. I guess the idea of reading and writing all day and talking to students seemed the ideal nerd-career in my 20s. While in university I worked in business development and in the temp field, moving from company to company on long and short assignments. I worked as a tutor in the school with students of all majors and degree programs.

When life stepped in and pushed me into full-time work for need of health-insurance, I put my education on hold and sought a great place to work. I wanted a job, any job, with benefits and enough salary to make my car payment and rent. When I landed at KPMG in 2006, I thought I was about to go work at a radio station! Instead, I found a culture that inspired growth and a network that fed my inspiration. Today, I read and write all day and speak with and educate colleagues around the globe - nerd-career achieved!

In my years at KPMG, I know I needed to keep learning to keep growing. I needed to figure out so much, like KPMG is not a radio station! (duh.) I dug into the rich soil and got dirty, I got involved. One place I became involved in is the KPMG university mentorship program. When my mentee, who is a junior looking to get into a Big 4 as a career accountant one day, asked me if I think it is better to stay with one company and work up, or jump around to all the big firms until one clicked, it took a moment to answer.

Do you jump ship? Isn't that kind of what I did temping in my 20s? Not really. I was a temp with one company for over 10 years, but I thought I was buying time until I got into a doctoral program. I was getting a feel of many types of businesses and growing as a temp. I spent all that time growing my own tree. What have I learned now that I have been in one place, on one team, for near a decade?

For me, the people and the culture make KPMG a great place to work, but besides this, I firmly believe you can build a great career without bouncing around.

Of course people can argue that growth depends on factors outside of your control like the environment of your company and nourishment of your role, but if you are looking at Big 4s or other robust companies, there is so much good in each that most is up to you. Any company that has made it into Fortune's Top 100 Companies to Work For (KPMG is #12), falls into the category of great places to build a career. Even still, there is so much in your control (including replanting elsewhere) that the health of your career is solely in your control.

So I told him - only you can grow your tree.

Growing in place, like a tree, increases your value, satisfaction, and engagement. Your career is the tree and you are the arborist. You have more control, even in face of weather, famine, and drought, than you know.

Before you look at that seemingly greener grass, have you checked yourself? How healthy is your tree? I don't want to be the weed spreading myself everywhere; I want to be a Mighty tree. (Weeds are okay, but where is the fruit?)

Ask yourself:

Am I challenged?
Am I engaged?
Am I excited?
Am I involved?
Am I being real?

1. Find the good challenge. You are responsible for your own advancement.

Sure, the boss and the budget might hold you back, but you must take control of your own career. This is the very heart of an attitude that can keep you interested and focused on building, not just a solid career, but a career you find challenging and interesting for years. Dig deeper and take in everything you can.

I started as a temp at KPMG 10 years ago. It took me about a year to find a network of friends within the company and then 6 months to network myself into an interview and full-time position. The soil was rich even in that pre-2008 financial collapse period. I took an administrative split-role under two bosses. It was a challenge. I advocated for advancement and an associate track role, and after a few more growth-spurts, I am a manager today in that same team. Don't sit back and expect to be handed advancement or think the only option is a new company. Maybe another company is an option, but not the only one.

2. Engage shift your work-life. Take advantage of every educational opportunity or find some more.

Instead of being reactive, get proactive. Life-long learning is at the core. When you seek opportunities to learn and you apply that new knowledge into your daily life, you'd be amazed at how opportunities for growth manifest. The people I have met in internal training have become touch-points on my path and support within my company as I learn about other teams and their functions. Going back to school to finish my MA kept feeding that learner fire. Work is perpetual and endless. Grab the chance and take a few hours for development a week. Challenge is nourishment.

Read 30 minutes a day, everyday. Read a damn book, take a developmental class, find someone to teach you, take control of your ignorance and make it knowledge. I have had to teach myself so many programs and the whole world of domaining and DNS administration. Start as a novice and keep going. For some people, challenges are like walls that seem impossible to scale (it's like in Game of Thrones and you need to escape the White Walkers and only have a pick-ax at the base of The Wall). You need to start and it is your power to persist that keeps you going.

3. Get excited, not frustrated!

Every single week I face frustrating, maddening situations whose complications pile to ruin my day. Sounds horrible? Well, if I always labeled them such, sure. I would hate being frustrated all the time. Instead, that same feeling can be turned into excitement by shifting perception. This extends from point 2, because every frustration is a chance to learn something - about yourself, about your company, and about your ability. Tony Robbins says "Change Your State" because "motion creates emotion". This is why you see advice to stand during phone calls, smile when you speak, and take a walk. Your blood needs to move. When I find I am most frustrated during the day is when I have been sitting for far too long - everything looks impossible and grim. My go-to is a cubicle dance party where I put something upbeat on my Bluetooth and boogie like a fiend. (This is far easier when I am working remotely, but I've literally danced vigorously in my cubicle till I felt my energy flow.) When you get excited and curious, you get more optimistic and energetic. Make the frustration wind and learn to bend and flex. Let your leaves dance.

4. Get involved and volunteer. Step up.

We are lucky to have a robust network of causes and opportunities to give-back at KPMG. It is one of the very best things about the organization. If you don't have volunteering at your company, start it up. Find a cause that really feels good, and talk to others about it. Get your boss to buy-in to setting up something official.

Even if it is not volunteering for charity causes, raise your hand for projects outside your day job. I help organize our summer event every year and work with the US marketing team. It gives me the chance to bond with people outside my team and get a feel for how others have built their own careers. Stepping up for projects that are community-building and not career-building help break monotony and bubble-blindness of daily work. It is amazing to share something you care about with people who also want to do good in this world. It isn't about money, it is about more. Fertilize your tree with good will and kindness.

5. Stop and reality-check. Be honest with yourself.

Review time comes around. Goals that were set need to be met. It may seem rational to blame short-comings on outside factors and claim successes on your brilliance, but rational is not always realistic. Hold yourself to account as much as you hold others to account. For me, I track successes and failures in an inside/outside fashion. How did I help or hinder? How did others? What did I actually do? Sometimes it is easier to toss blame, complain, and live in frustration. But progress is made when you can honestly own your part and work on making it more successful next time. When I started adjusting my approach to reviews, like acknowledging my defensiveness when something I worked on had gone wrong, I realized my attitude did nothing to change the outcome and made me look bad. If you are not happy in your position, is it the position or your approach to the position? Can you change, or can your boss change anything to make it better?

Recognize when you need to prune habits, processes, and ideas. Realize your faults and seek to fix them. Sometimes your tree needs support, medication, or replanting. Regular check-up stop disease and pests from infecting the whole.

Recap

Trees grow in place. Their roots grow deep, their branches strongly extend out into the world. Trees can be replanted if they are healthy to begin with, and you need time, care, and sun before you find fruit. If you aren't getting the care and sun - move. If you are getting what you need, give it some time and do the care and maintenance yourself to get to the fruit faster. The best and juiciest fruit is born on well-maintained trees in robust environments.

How did you grow your career? Are you a tree or a weed?

May your roots grow deep, your branches strong, and may you find nourishment on your path through life.

KonMari - The Garage Sale

2016-09-08T19:15:00.005-04:00

Tomorrow and Saturday is the culmination of this round of KonMari - THE GARAGE SALE.
In The Magical Art of Tidying, Marie Kondo never mentions a sale. She wants you to put it all in the trash, into donation, or gifted to someone who could truly want and need it.

In America, we have garage sales.

I donated all the clothing and most of the shoes. I could not see selling my stretched and worn items, even for a quarter. The rest of the stuff? I think it is good and could make someone happy while bringing in a few dollars.

Here is the deal: all items are on flash sale until Saturday at 3pm. What remains will be donated to the Vets. I do not donate to Goodwill as they are basically the country's largest garage sale and make money off of your donations. And that money goes into the CEO's pocket more than any other.

I will donate to the local Vets because they actually give the items to families who can use them, or resell in the local base-store. This makes sense to me.

I hope to see you at my house tomorrow or Saturday! (Chase Ave in Lyndhurst NJ)

KonMari, Paper - What do you keep, why do you keep it, and when to letgo

2016-07-20T18:42:00.003-04:00

Do you keep nice, organized files? Do you have stacks of bills around the house? Do you keep pieces of paper just in case you need them one day? Love notes?

Are you a grown-ass adult still holding on to their elementary school paperwork?

Oh, no? That's just me than...

I don't think that I will ever have to prove how smart I was as a kid, but I have my Talented and Gifted award from elementary school. I kept this with my Presidential Fitness Award, Safety Patrol Award, and Student Leadership awards. I had every single scholastic test result from primary and secondary school. I had almost every glowing report card till grade 11.

Among these, I also found school newspapers and creative writing magazines. When I was a kid, I was usually included in these publications because I was “advanced” as a creative writer. Yet these staple-bound copy-machine creations were absent of my childhood creativity. Why the hell did I keep them in the first place?

The more important question for me to ask is this:

What do these things represent to me now as a 37-year-old woman with a husband, career, master's degree, two puppies, two kitties, and generally happy life?

If I am honest, clutter. Who wants to see this stuff but me? Does it matter now that I was "brilliant" when I was a kid? Going over the paperwork, I wasn’t even that special. Sure I had A’s and above average scholastic marks, but none of this matters.

I am still brilliant, funny, and creative. Damn skippy.

None of my personal paperwork matters when I step back and consider what storing and moving all this flammable material means.

All this paperwork reminds me of the potential of that little girl. I’m reminded that I was awkward and not popular. I was kind of a dork who liked dancing school and writing. To be defined by a past captured in standardized testing is not the life I strive for now.

ALL NON-NOSTALGIA

Kondo encourages us to toss all the paper we can: the lecture notes, old bills, manuals, etc.

She says we should take care of bills when we get them and shred them when done. If you need to keep certain files, receipts, proof-of-purchase or warranty, mark with them with the date to dispose of them.

That TV has a one year warranty? Mark the date of purchase and write on the date it expires. I highlight it. It can go after that date because it is useless.

I had a box-file of user manuals for everything in my house: the fridge, stove, grill, TV, lawn mower, dish washer, computer, laptop, motorcycles, car, washer and dryer (even two I got rid of), mixer, rice maker, juicer, vacuum, remotes, hard drives, and more. I have receipts from all manner of home repair and home ownership. Then there was this:

Filing this was one of those "we may need it" scenarios. “BUT we may need it SOMEDAY.” Hello Crazy, it says DO NOT FILE!

I had 8 copies of my mortgage paperwork, at least. Three say DO NOT FILE because they were freaking copies! Ugh.

Let me tell you the truth: I have never referred to the guide for my coffeepot. I have never used a warranty for anything because almost everything that has one, breaks right after the limited warranty is over. Meanwhile, I put them in a box and save forever.

Not anymore. How do I apply Kondo-crazy to an American home?

1. I have listed all the model numbers and information for each item in one list and have tossed the booklets.

2. I have created one file box with items to keep about the house that can be given to someone if they were to ever buy my home (fence, roof, stairs, siding, plumbing, survey, etc).

3. All the appliances I am selling will now have nice little booklets to go along with them! (bad reason to save them forever, but here is where I am at)

I am storing home paperwork in the safe, where they will be safe from fire or flood. Not that we have either planned, but I have worried about this in the back of my mind for a long time. I plan, when the purge is complete, to take inventory and photos of everything else in the home and storing this on a flash drive in the safe too. The model numbers and receipts I have kept are handy for insurance purposes, so I am glad to do this added step for peace of mind. I can imagine this is will add relaxation to my mine because I will not have to scramble in case something ever happens.

That is my adulating in action.

This is all I have left of personal papers:

I used to save all my school notes from college, all my papers, all my handouts - like I was going to one day need them. Let me tell you a secret - I have never looked at old notes and said "Now I totally remember why I saved this". It is more like "My handwriting is terrible" or "My papers are not very good. If I graded this I would have given it a C."

Have you ever run across the blatherings of your High School social life in handwritten notes? Bleck… I'd share the hand-passed notes from friends that say nothing important, but I won't because I tossed them. They are irrelevant in my life now. I did read them all again for nostalgia.

I placed importance on saving little stupid things to immortalize moments in my life that were important to the teen me. The years have given me perspective and the distance has given me understanding - the actual thing is not the memory. When I am gone from this world, the last thing I want people to read is the banal bullshit my friend Chris and I discussed on notes in high school.

I put all the sentimental papers and photos to the side as Kondo suggests. Don’t get distracted as I did while purging! Put all that memorabilia to the side especially if you have lots of papers to go through.

Of all the papers I found, and I know there is a still a box buried in the garage, I shred 3 bags and tossed 3 kitchen bags full. I probably will have more in the sentimental items, but Kondo says this last section is the most difficult to go through.

Have you the same paper-mountain I do? Do you save and file papers for just-in-case?

Tune in next time when I start tackling my Komodo or miscellaneous items...

KonMari - Does this blog make me look preachy?

2016-07-13T13:40:00.002-04:00

We have too much stuff.

Here is a general statement - we retain a lot of stuff we don't need. Our capitalistic culture wants us to keep buying more stuff. Our culture wants us to keep up with the Jones, to memorialize moments in sourviers, to buy storage solutions for our things, maybe hold grudges and emotional baggage of guilt associated with gifts and hand-me-downs. We keep to preserve but to also avoid loss.

Last night after reading a really hysterical piece of satire about the influx of the KonMari and minimalism into our culture, I started to feel bad that I was step-by-step processing my belongings in this method and it was a bit...gross.

I had that same reservation when I took my first photo for this segment of the blog - my entire wardrobe on my bed.

Can you imagine I looked at this, at one time thankful for the bounty that allowed me all these clothes, but also horrified at my own horde. "Oh, poor me. I have too much stuff and I can't manage it all like a normal person. Waaaahhh." Boo frickin Hoo.

But that is just it, isn't it. What is normal? I am striving for my normal, who gives a crap about anything more than this. Right now I can tell you that up until this process of discarding the weight, I felt like my home was too much work, too cluttered, and stressful. Inventory has helped me take stock of the emotional value and actual value of keeping everything I purchase.

I want to keep what I love, in Kondo's words, what sparks joy.

I grew up barely middle-class with divorced parents and they taught me not to waste perfectly good things. Somewhere along that path I lost sight of how to manage it all and what "good" really meant. You, dear reader, get to watch me figure it out.

I have followed minimalism websites like The Minimalists, which is about people seeking value from their lives beyond the constant consumerism and rat-race. Sure there are plenty of people who live with less than 100 belongings total, some with less than 60! These people are wandering mystics to me. I have read these:

Leo Babauta’s Description of Minimalism

Joshua Becker’s Benefits of Minimalism

Courtney Carver’s 25 Reasons You Might Be a Minimalist

Colin Wright’s Minimalism Explained

And in all, I respect people who step back from getting caught up in "stuff". I really love to see how people pare down their wardrobes into outfits of good standards and own solid and well-made pieces of classic clothing. It is as if these people have really figured out adulting and only spend money on experiences and things that last.

That satire had me thinking - do I really come across as the level of gross and crazy in this blog? I argue no, because I am consciously questioning how crazy Kondo seems in the fanaticism with which she purges (talking to and thanking each thing you discard for it's service? Yeah, she is over-the-top). But if I do sound crazy, fuck it.

You're the one reading this crap. I's trying to be honest in case someone out there feels like they are alone in their secret drawer-and-closet-horde of stuff.

This discarding process provides me structure to do what some people probably already do - keep neat and well-organized spaces. Also, it helps me toss things I hold because "I can maybe use it" (but have never used it).

Let's take those shoes for example. None of the shoes in this picture is newer than one year old, aside from the graduation shoes I crafted.

Even the shoes in the box were purchased a year ago, as were the red sparkly flats that are too big but were a steal, I only have one set of feet. The oldest pair is probably the brown Vibram Classics, at 10 years old. Then are the brown Frye boots, 8 years old. But here are the whole amount of shoes, I as an American, used to own.

The number of toe-shoes is where I depart from most people, but for me, the problem is I hold onto things far past their use and style. I'll bet most of my girlfriends have more heels than I do, or more flip-flops....everyone has their thing. The point is when you put it all together, the sum total is more than you need and you can see the flaws in individual pieces that you overlook when things are spread out.

I've half this amount now. Kondo gave me permission to let go of 10 year old shoes that are not in good condition, that I have not worn in 2 years, and those that are never the pair I grab. I am rational. I am emotional. I needed outside perspective.

I am not going to discard everything I own and live in a temple. But, I gotta say that it is far nicer now to live in my bedroom with the right amount of clothing and shoes for me. I like that I can close drawers and doors now.

I'm not looking to go full-guru here. Hell, I don't mind if anyone reads this or not. This is working to make me less stressed by the things I have held tight to for longer than I should have.

Honestly, I hate that I find it difficult to toss things. If I didn't use something until it broke (and even then I would glue/sew/up-cycle it), I felt I had to keep it. It can be used, so I keep it. It doesn't look that bad, so I keep it. I never use it, but I keep it. It all amounts to padding a life with things that take time to manage. I want to give my time/energy/money/creativity/heart to other pursuits.

Minimalism at its core can best be summed up by The Minimalists: Minimalism is a tool to rid yourself of life’s excess in favor of focusing on what’s important—so you can find happiness, fulfillment, and freedom.

I want to share my journey here so that it is concrete (in my mind). So far Kondo has helped me:

find clarity
discard without guilt
focus on my creativity and not constantly finding storage solutions
take a real look at the number of similar items I actually have
focus on what I love
realize the space I live in is totally my making
really see what I have disregarded while "too busy"
get my adult life together

I am done with the first two categories and must move on to paper tomorrow. If you are reading this, do you think it is wrong to share the process? Do you also find yourself torn between loving your things and feeling burdened by them?

KonMari - The 'wait' of books weighing me down

2016-07-12T12:21:00.000-04:00

It is now Tuesday, and I am finished with my bedroom books, finally! I have pared down from 436 books to about 45 books(!) plus a stack of adult coloring books. Before we get there, I want to walk through the process for me.

In the last blog you saw me in my home-cleaning mode: overwhelmed and dusty.

I dumped the contents of my bookcase, the piles off my dresser, the stack that was in my closet from my thesis research, the scattered books I had stored in the secretary downstairs. I can't believe how many there were.

I had so many other things squeezed in these books: notes, journals, photos, handouts, magazines, manuals, audio book CDs, a few DVDs for teaching, 2 more B&N gift cards, a stock lens for my DSLR, and what can best be described as 'in-case-I-need-it' paperwork.

I could not organize into the categories Marie Kondo suggests. She thinks one can move general books and text books, reference books and fiction, into piles and work trough them in categories. I could not because I had so much and the space to do this is limited. I specifically moved them onto the bed because I would be forced to go through them all in one go. I would need a spot to sleep afterall.

In the end, I was able to remove the books that I already read or would never read again. I let go of every single teaching textbook I ever owned. This was easy because I know that things change. It was difficult to say goodbye to my Donald Murray and Peter Elbow books, though in going through this process, I realize I lent my best of these to someone in grad school and I never got them back! I know their names, and I have assimilated their content. I doubt I will need their books in my immediate future, and the library is the best place to find these standard text in the future.

I am less sure of the pile of magazines I have put in the pile. I subscribed to Whiskey Advocate and Imbibe and saved them all. I saved a select number of Wired that I grab when we go away so I have something to read. I have not read them all and that dense pile on the far left is what remains. Kondo writes that the time to read a book or magazine is when it comes to you the first time. The immediacy of the message it holds is within and when you store it for later, it looses its value. I am not sure I buy into this. I will let them all go after an afternoon flipping through them one last time.

My bookshelf can breathe now. The second from the bottom shelf contains only coloring books and journals and the bottom, self-help Tony Robbins and reference.

The energy within these books is for someone else now. I have gained what info I can from them.Someone else needs them I am almost positive. It is kind of awesome that I have been able to relive my initial contact and remember the content in each book as I let it go. I only saved those that have brought me joy and those that I still turn too. If I didn't read it yet, there must be a reason.

I have the pile of books lent to me that I need to return. People need to install GPS on their books if they want them back apparently!

I may keep Rick's Douglas Adams because it still is joyful. The Catching Fire audio book needs to be returned to the library (it is about 3 years overdue!). The Mammoth Hunters is book three of a set that needs a read before I return it to Billie. The Help was brilliant, but I have held it for over 2 years from Noreen. The fertility books were informative, but did not help my issues and I have resigned myself to being an awesome dog mom for ever and hoping my 401K will pay for a nice retirement home someday. Finally Beautiful Creatures was lent to me about 3 years ago from Amy, and I never read it. I couldn't get past the first chapter. I never give up on books but I hated it.

Kondo's advice to recycle or donate is positive, but this is America and capitalism is king. They are going online and will be out for sale at the garage sale. I have too many current and valuable books along with the paperback clutter (though it is my experience that paperback junk sells better than the good stuff).

Can I get emotional for a sec? Moving the weight of these books was physically draining. BUT the 'wait' - wait to read, wait to return, wait to donate, wait to decide -- this burden was greater for me as a book lover. I always wanted a library room in my house. I visualized a happy place full of books and a desk for me to write and chair near a sunny window to read. Then I realized that this is the magazine version of my ideal home. What I discovered in going through the exercises Kondo forces on her clients is a space to write that breathes because I am more creative when there is no clutter and fewer things to distract me.

I kept my journals and coloring books because creative outlets like these are more interesting if I need to talk to the muses. When I get too involved in someone else's fictional worlds, I lose my own. I had to purge some great things I loved like my collection of Grimm's fairy tales, because I've read them and know them, but rereading them may waste time I could be using for writing.

This blog is only one aspect of writing. Since I got rid of the bulk of the books I own, I outlined a kid's book and contacted an illustrator. He is totally excited about the concept and I plan on bringing it to publishing houses before the end of the year. Talk about opening up the channels of energy!

Tomorrow I want to take a moment to talk about selling online. I am a novice, but it feels better to try to sell them than to toss them in the trash or put them in the Better World Books donate bins. If that company, who takes donated books and sells them for profit and some donation, I can at least wait a year to see what I can well for profit before I donate the rest.

How are you with books? Do you hold fast to loads of them? Do you read a lot? If you don't hold on to books or don't read much, how and why?

KonMari - Friday night - Wild Book Orgy!

2016-07-08T18:14:00.003-04:00

Yeah, that's what I'm calling the HUGE pile of book/magazine drama happening in my bedroom. Sexy, I know. Soooo many books! So many kinds! So much DUST! AhChoooo!

Enjoy my little vid with yesterday's hair, naked face and my shame...

If I survive,I will write about what I discard and what I keep. If I don't, please take care of Leo and the animals. I love you all.

What would your pile of books look like? Tell me: what do you read? Do you love books like I love books? Can you let them go? How do you store them?

KonMari - Cooking with Lynette

2016-07-07T11:35:00.000-04:00

Kondo and I have the same love of books. She begins by saying that this is one of the harder categories because many people, even those who aren't voracious readers, feel connected to their books. I have had a book problem all my life, especially through college as an English major. Once I was old enough to afford my own books, I bought.

I was never a library person and preferred to own when possible. The reasons flit between the ease of online shopping to hating returning books to the library. When the books are yours, you can do whatever you want with them. I can take months to read some books, and for cookbooks, they are reference material for ever.

The photos are lovely in cookbooks! Some are so vivid that one can almost smell the aroma of the dish pictured and the glossy image draws water to ones mouth. They are so lovey, but there are so many cookbooks out there to love. The internet has only gotten better over the years, so my addiction to these tasty books has wavered; I can find everything online when I know the end product--the world's best meatloaf, check; the world's best lasagna ever, double check; super dark chocolate cake, check check check.

Now, when I am not sure what to cook or I am planning an adventurous week, I go to the books and food-porn myself into a plan. Or I have books on specific styles I needed for a time: juicing, Indian, bartending, entertaining.

Here are the all the cookbooks and food-books from the kitchen and bar.

The pile on the left is going into the sale pile. They represent good intentions, good diets, and food-memories. I once tried to make all the cookies in Martha Stewart's book, but found I like my nostalgic family recipes more. I tried to make cupcakes when they were the trend, and I found I hate them (they are fussy and too much work). During my 60-day juice fast, I learned tons from my juicing books, but now I know what I like and can make juice on the fly without recipes.

For Tyler's book (which is great), I have loved a lot of recipes, but I do not need most of the book. So, I photographed the ones I really love and can now sell the book. In case you are thinking about something new, here are my personal favorites:

Those scallops use speck, my favorite of the bacon family. I think they can be served alone or with whipped mashed potatoes.

I have many good memories with these books, but I am a competent cook who rarely uses recipes on the daily. I surely have my share on my "To Make" board on Pinterest .

Tomorrow I am starting the books I keep up in my bedroom. As I have said, I have over 150 books already in my Half.com store, and I have linked that in the tabs above on this site in case you want to buy a book!

My garage sale is set for September 9th and 10th, so we have a strong deadline to finish this purge. I've finished 2 Garage Sale tips audio books in the meantime, and have learned that I need to spend some time before the sale cleaning the goods to try to sell for the best price. It will not be a cheap-stuff sale, because I have tossed the trash and saved only things that can totally live on in someone's home. That home is no longer mine because I have duplicates or more loved items in their place.

Until tomorrow, what is your cookbook collection like? Do you cook? Are you in love with any online recipe that I should be in love with too? (If so, please share the link in the comments!)

KonMari - Walk a mile in my shoes and here, wear my Pashmina and belt

2016-07-06T13:16:00.000-04:00

I hope you all had a relaxing Independence Day weekend. I am back to the grind both at work and in tidying. I did not do a thing in the house all weekend, in fact, I was out of the house Saturday through Monday at events I didn't host! Since our Memorial Day party has amassed 100+ guests a year, I am happy as a clam that I can go to someone else's BBQ and bring a little something.

So Where Are We?

I am finishing off the clothing section today. I have a bunch of things for the garage sale (I also just set the date for Friday September 9th and Saturday September 10th, 8am-3pm). No clothing, that was all donated to organizations that could use them, but I have bags, purses, jewelry, hats, and now shoes, scarves, and belts.

A note on my shoe collection...

I am a proud member of The Society for Barefoot Living (SBL). When I join it about 10 years ago, I was barefoot much of my non-work time. I am not wearing shoes now and rarely wear them at home. I tried early on, to go to the mall and in stores without shoes. That did not last long because I am uncomfortable with confrontation and don't need any more reason for people to stare at me.

Then I progressed to wearing Vibram Five-Finger shoes, or toe-shoes as people refer to them. I wore them instead of regular shoes for comfort. They really are the most comfortable shoes I have ever owned and are still my go-to in nice weather non-work activities.

Now, I take most normal shoes off in the car and drive barefoot most of the time. I am shoe-less in private. I habitually take them off in the office under my desk. I hate them in one breath and love them in another. I love heels, though they hurt; I love boots, though they are suffocating at times; I love crafting fabric over shoes, but this leaves them fragile yet awesome.

I went into every closet, into the attic, and in my car to collect them all (as Kondo requires) and here are every pair of shoes, boots, slippers and thongs I own (save for one pair in the wash):

Breakdown:
11 Vibram Five-Fingers (VFF)
4 Sandals or Thongs
6 Sneakers
4 Flats
5 Heels
1 Dressy Sandals
2 Clogs
1 Wedge T's
2 Booties
2 Motorcycle Boots
1 Snow Boots
2 Knee-length Boots
3 Slippers
44 Pairs of Footwear (and one fat cat)

Wow. That's a lot of shoes for a person who barefoots most of the day! So many pairs of black shoes! Now, it is a given that my feet are not easy to size (9.5 WW) so shoes I keep and use are those that fit best (as can be expected). Those here range in size from a 9 to an 11, Medium through WW. Several pairs I have not worn in ages or at all (in the case of the fancy sandals). I am fairly grossed out at the state of some of them. Actually, I am thinking I need to burn my blanket after I store the keepers.

Is this excessive? For me, I think so, partly because I can only wear one pair at a time and because I am a person who dislikes shoes. Seems I surely have issues.

Right away I think I can pare down by 1/3. Some things need to be trashed, like 2 pairs of slippers and one pair of flats:

These used to be my black work flats. The soles came loose and I needed to trial fabric-covering for my graduation shoes:

They came out amazing and I love them lots. I may not wear them in the near future, but the represent my graduation and thesis and all that work in a crafty way.

I for sure can get rid of 2 pairs of sneakers, and a pair of booties. The worst will be getting rid of my VFFs. None are newer than 3 years old, and most are at least 5 years old. The brown ones are almost 10 years old! It is just that they were expensive and I still really like them. I like the versatility of color options, though I see 3 in the photo that I haven't worn in years, so they are going.

My Pashmina and belt collection is not as expansive. I cam getting rid of half of the scarves because I rarely wear them. The belts are being culled in half for the same reason. I am only keeping those that go with the dresses I kept and 2 for pants.

How about you? How many pairs of shoes do you own? Scarves? Belts? Do you have some that spark more joy than others? Do you also have odd-size feet and hold on to shoes way past their good-looking days?

Tomorrow I am going to start the hard stuff - the books. With 2 degrees in English, and having taught 4 different college courses in writing/English, I have over 200 books, maybe 400. This is going to take some time, but I have already begun and have listed 150 on half.com (my store in the link). I have sold 10 more in the past 40 days. I know it is not a great average right now, but school is out for summer and I haven't listed the best stuff yet.

KonMari - all that glitters, piles up over the years

2016-07-01T17:39:00.002-04:00

Jewelry tends to collect. I have nice pieces, mainly gifts from my husband, given over 18 years of holidays. I have some pieces from when I was a child, many from my aunt who loved QVC. My grandmother handed me down amber antiques and pearl earrings, and I love all of my good jewelry because they remind me of places and people who are no longer with me

Then there is all the other crap. I have junky jewelry and trinkets collected over 30 years. I guess we all have this mix of cheap things and real things. Before you think about robbing my home, none of my good things are there. You'd have to hit up the safety deposit box for anything worth more than $80, including my engagement and wedding rings because neither fit like my tattooed ring does.

My standing cabinet

Here is the state of disorganization of the crap.

My boxes of assorted necklaces and bobbles

I spread the lot onto the bed and spent well over 3 hours sorting through what I have, what I love and the stuff I am not sure about. It is amazing how much I have collected over the years! As part of this process, I realize that I am not wearing things I claimed to love when I aquired them. I have all sorts of things I have only worn one, and some that I know I never wore,

Take for example my pins.

I have many from my mother-in-law, grandmother, mom, and antique hunting trips.Some are Leo's, from his father. I never wear them but for 3x a year when I wear a specific sweater or blazer. I love how they look; I think sometimes "I'm gonna be a woman who wears sassy pins" and I never do.

They spark joy, but not in the same way that other things do. I think I will get rid of them at some point, but for now, I have kept them along with a lot of clip-on antique costume jewelry. Kondo would not approve.

She is nuts when it comes to some items. She breathes minimalism, for sure, and how she descries her living space is the stuff of monastery living. Sparse and bare, she finds little joy in things with a history. The positive part of the process is that I don't have to love like that. For know I can identify that I have joy in these items but can revisit them in time and see if I am ready to part with them or not. For now the clip ons and pins represent nostalgic fantasy.

As much as Kondo is nuts, I found a lot more to discard than I ever thought possible. I must have found over 50 items. Some, like the fake rhinestones I wore to my prom, or the fake Claire's specials I bought in middle school, are long past due to discard. Other items, like the necklace I bought two vacations ago, are beautifully current but somehow joyless for me. They are great, but for someone else.

I wanted to share this last picture because it represents the depths of ridiculous items I own, and one I have kept in my jewelry box for well over a decade. It is an ancient yoyo. I think I bought it at a museum long ago. It doubles as a pet rock. It is a rock wrapped in leather and attached to a elastic band. It is dumb..so much that it is on the to-go pile. I don't have that image, but I am having a garage sale mid July and you can see some of the really great items that I am ready to let go of today. There are a few nice real gold or silver pieces in the mix that I never wear anymore.

Next time, after the holiday weekend, I will go through my shoes. I never got to them this round. I thought I would be done with all the clothing category by the 4th, but I have a super packed weekend. I hope you do as well.

Till next time...do you have a horde of cheap jewelry? Have you kept all the things you have ever gotten?

KonMari - Least likely to be a bag lady (Clothes cont...)

2016-06-30T12:48:00.000-04:00

All my bags, and the combined junk within them

Today, we are still on the clothing: accessories. My bag collection is limited. I am not a collector, and I rarely carry a bag. I'm always least likely to win during baby and bridal shower "What's in your Bag" games where you get a long list and points for every random item you can produce from your purse.

While the purse collection is very small, the book-bags and computer bags are many. They are legion. I recently tossed 3 rolling computer bags and 2 backpacks, only to produce 2 more backpacks, 3 messenger bags, and 2 computer sleeves in my closet.

The KonMari process helped me go through this amount and put half in the donate pile. I am moving closer to a garage sale at my house this coming month. Marie Kondo empties her bag every night, and places the contents in the same place every night so they can be grabbed in the morning in a new bag if required. As you can tell from the pile in the box bottom right, I do not. That is mainly from my teaching and work bags, but I found 6 lip balms and 3 lipsticks in 6 bags, 2 spoons from my kitchen, more pens than a Staples, and 2 spare USB battery packs among junk.

It felt good doing this because I knew several of the bags were stored with their contents and papers from last semester. I even had stuff from last year when I taught my last class at ECC. I have learned:

I never need to purchase a pen, highlighter, marker, or pencil again for the rest of my life.
I have more staplers than hands to use them.
I like to buy gum or mints, eat one or two, and then let the rest sit around until they should be tossed in the garbage.
Stop buying gum and mints.
I have 4 Barnes & Nobel $25 gift cards I forgot about.

I tossed most of that pile of sheer bag garbage and housed the rest (including spoons), all over the house.

As a professional tidier, Kondo does not believe in spending money anymore on storage solutions. She had fancy boxes and organizers in the past, but she finds them a way to hide clutter in most cases. She re-purposes shoe boxes and lids for many things instead. So I took two lids to cases of paper, and papered them.

These covered lids came out great with some old paper I found hidden behind a cubical at work a long time ago.

They turned out to be the perfect solution for storing my bags (top) and shorts (bottom). All my extra hangers (so many) are hanging above the empty closet floor. When this process is finished, I imagine getting rid of most of them and using that hanging space to hang once worn clothes to air out. It is no secret that getting more than one wear out of your clothing before washing will increase the longevity by maintaining fabric integrity, but I want them to not touch clean clothes. I used to put these on my dresser or hang them over my mirror, but I think they will be happier in the closet now that there is air and list in there.

I also attacked my hats and scarves and gloves. My mom is the best because she crochets hats in record time and has made me many over the years. I love them all, but wear only some. I looked them over and decided to let go of half. I also let go of 2 scarves and 2 pairs of gloves. I now have enough for winter without being excessive to store.

Tomorrow I will do my jewelry and shoes. This is going to be the most difficult of the clothing because much of the jewelry is real and sentimental. I hardly wear it daily, but will pull out a necklace or earnings when I go out or to work. Since I now work mostly from home, I don't even go out of the house all that often. The shoes? I get rid of them fairly often, but I have been known to hold on to fancy heels (because I never wear them out) and Vibram FiveFingers (because I'd loved every pair I have).

Till then, do you carry a bag? How do you think your process of discarding would be this far? Let me know in the comments.

KonMari - Clothing AKA the reason I'm not naked

2016-06-29T11:33:00.002-04:00

Marie Kondo starts with clothing because, I guess, we are more quick to purge clothing. We have to do this over the course of life when clothing gets ruined or looks old. She obviously doesn't know people like I do, because I've seen closets that are packed full of every item the person has bought in the past 20 years (or more). I am not this bad ONLY BECAUSE I have fluctuated weight up and down so often that much of my wardrobe consisted of cheap Old Navy or (insert plus size store) which never wears more than a year. I don't have many lasting staples. No real investments at my size.

The saving grace is that the process Kondo gives--get all the clothes, put them all together on the floor and touch each piece as you sort into joyful items, donate items, and trash items--forces a mental revelation. YOU HAVE TOO MUCH STUFF. I had over 30 tee shirts! I had 15 pairs of jeans! I had over a dozen day dresses and 10 fancy ones! I had 24 pairs of underwear, many I hated wearing but did to avoid laundry (putting away, because my mom is the washerwoman in our basement apartment). WTF? When it is all in your face, it feels so wrong. These images are after I purged 3 weeks ago.

My closet, 3 weeks after my purge

My guest room bed, full of clean laundry and cat

I didn't take starter photos, those here are from last night's work. I did not think I was blogging about my mess, so what you see here is my backslide! I am horrified, but not surprised that I backslid. I did not follow her advice about folding, her advice about doing the whole purge all at once, or, if I am totally honest, her advice about the pre-work. All I knew was that it was a mess and causing me stress and I wanted it gone.

The day I began, I had so much clothing on my bed: culled from the attic, guest room, coat closet, dresser, and my own closet. First-world problems, right? I felt sick because I have been known to say "I have nothing to wear" on the regular. So I'd go shopping to buy a new outfit (over and over and over) without really thinking about what that habit does to my closet, wallet, and life. In an earlier post I told you I purged 3 contractor garbage bags, in addition to coats, and trash. This revisit was to actually apply the KonMari process more fully.

So again, I tossed everything onto the bed. I removed the bags, hats, winter outerwear, swimsuits, and all the other CRAP that was on the floor and shelves. I had so much shit on the floor that did not belong. This time it only took me 2 hours to go through the clothing. My drawers still looked great.

Empty, you cannot see it extends about 2 feet into the left and right...

I managed to get all my undies and bras into 2 drawers. This was a small win because they used to take up 4. I used to have one single drawer with those fancy plastic honeycomb dividers. I'd had them for over 15 years. They suck. My socks and undies should fit 2-4 in each hole, but I usually just dumped crumpled wads of clean undies into them. Very adult of me. My closet French doors used to bulge though I have so much room.

The after is much better because I folded all my tee shirts. I removed everything that I shoved back into the closet the first time. the upper shelf, where bags and hats lived, is empty for now. When I first did this, I did not actually purge any hats or bags. I just shoved them back in and shut the doors. That was anti-productive. This time I made sure all my laundry was clean and every stitch was accounted for on the pile.

Tee Shirt storage has room

I never really paid attention to the amount of shirts I have. If you are like me, you get free shirts, concert shirts, souvenir shirts, volunteer project shirts, among others. Many just stay around moving from "what-I-can-be-seen-in" to "what-I-would-be-mortified-to-be-seen-in-but-are-too-comfy-to-lose" shirts.

Kondo would want us to lose the shitty shirts. She arrives in her clients homes to work their process and purge in a blazer or sweater-set. She can move, but looks good. She does this not because she wants to look professional, at least not wholly so; she does this because she wants to show respect to her client's process and things. She loses me a bit when she talks about thanking her items before discarding them, after using them, and while putting them away. She thanks the client's home and inanimate objects for their purpose and the joy they bring. Her gratitude to items borders on crazy, but noble.

I am not thanking each ratty tee-shirt as I fold them, though I see the difference caring how they are folded and stored makes. In the weeks since I have changed my sock-and-undies folding, I am much happier when I grab them to wear. She thanks them for the hard work they do as she stores them. I think that is obsessive. They keep their shape better and fit better, but I am silent, maybe meditative, as I put laundry away. I am trying to avoid it being a chore I speed through because the organization feels so good. The sacrifice of time is actually moot because I can now find everything and see everything, saving me time and indecision later.

my new bra drawer

My other drawers are equally nice and neat. I have tossed my "quiters" and kept only the stuff I love. Why did I keep underwear that bunched, pinched, fell-down, or made me feel like a lumpy beast? Keeping only what brought me joy has made a difference in how I feel after I dress. I've this little desire to wear nice, matching, comfortable underwear sets under basic tees and shorts--this secret only I know. This is not yet where I am at, but I now know where I want to be. When I purchase in the future, I have a visualization and know what I can toss. As a woman who has spanned 10 sizes (or more) "it fits" was the only factor I ever considered. Now, I will be more choosy. Other than this, I don't love the athletic gear in my size and no one makes affordable and pretty gear for me, and this is a problem. Who really loves their sports-bras and yoga pants? Girls that can buy really nice ones in their size. I have a goal to get down into that, for now I will save the best of the mono-chromatic black or grey the plus-size are relegated to.

After the purge and organization

The after doesn't really "rise to the right" as Kondo suggests, nor is it organized by fabric and color. When you're a 16, it is not logical to organize like this. My clothing doesn't packet like Kondo's usual client: the average Japanese woman. I need tanks, flimsy tops, and work clothes together, and pants (not folded like she suggests) hanging on the bottom. When your pants are longer and wider, folding them the KonMari method is impractical. I have the hanging space, so I use it. My shorts also do not fold the KonMari way - hello, Baby Got Back. So I folded them as I could and used a shelf. I will look for a box to store them in so they stay neat.
Tomorrow I want to finish the clothing section with bags, winter outerwear, hats, belts, and swimwear. I have to do jewelry, but that will take me much much longer. I am finding them everywhere as I go through my bedroom and purses.

What do you think about the process? Do you backslide after good attempts to purge?

KonMari - Being Intuitive versus Being Rational

2016-06-28T07:30:00.000-04:00

When discarding, follow your intuition. Don't rationalize holding on to things because they are "perfectly good" or useful, though you haven't actually had a use for it or love it.

Your gut knows the real-talk about an item. Your brain talks its way through reasoning value.

Your gut feels the emotion (good and bad) attached to your things. Your brain makes up stories to justify their existence.

You feel joy in your gut. You think about pros and cons in your head.

This is probably the best and worse advice Kondo gives.

Being intuitive and not rational is great when going through clothes, shoes, excess kitchen tools, decorations, etc. I'll bet most people can easily pinpoint that item that they know they hold on to but they have never used or it doesn't fit, or it is just there for no real reason.

When I first read this, I could name several items I have saved because I thought I would use them, but I have never used them.

Case one: My Mother-in-law's fake fur coat.
I have never worn this ankle-length London Fog black fur coat. I don't even like it that much. It looks warm, sure. It looks fancy. It was probably very expensive. It is like new. It was not mine, though it fit. When my mother-in-law passed away, we were of similar sizes though separated by 40 years. While we sold or donated the obviously over-the-top Quaker Factory QVC fashions and stuff that I disliked, we thought it made sense to keep the good stuff that I could maybe wear in the future.

Fast forward 8 years. I have gotten rid of most of the clothes over the years. I no longer fit the larger size (never will again), and much doesn't suit me. But I held on to a brand new full-length raincoat because I am a working professional and it is a staple item.

I also saved that darn coat.

Black beauty

I will never wear it unless it is negative numbers and I need to stand outside for over an hour. Maybe I would use it if we had no heat in the house and I wanted to play aristocratic drunk housewife. It is just not what my generation wears. But I held on to it now for 8 years and it has lived in my closet, taking up tons of space. Why? My rational mind thinks it might be good to have someday. It is not my only coat, but it is a coat I have.

My gut says Hell No, you ain't wearing that because you'd look like a grizzly. Grr.

Grandma's coat

I have another real black lamb and fox coat from the 1940s that was my grandmothers. It is thigh-length and black with fox-fur collar. I love it though it does not fit. My grandmother was 5'1" and I am 5'10". I need to add fox trim to the arms to make them longer. The rational mind thinks I will never wear it because furriers are few and fur is wrong.

My gut says keep it because you love it and you think of her every time you touch it. It is beautiful.

See where I am? Listening to both minds is bad because you keep everything. If I follow my gut, I only have what I really love, even if it is not 100% rational. I feel happy and have other ways to stay warm.

I put that fake black beauty in a donate bag along with 3 other jackets that I have not worn in years and am going to donate them at my company's winter coat drive. Someone will love that coat.

I saved my grandmother's coat. I put it in a fabric garment bag and am researching furriers that can restructure it for me.

Remember I said this advice to follow your intuition and not your rationalizations is also the worst advice Kondo gives? Well, when you fluctuate sizes like I do, have gained weight and lost weight and have gone from a 24 at my largest to a 16 currently, your intuition is all messed up and you only have a rational mind.

I am so thankful to have saved some small clothes from years ago because they fit now. I am glad I had big clothes from my mom-in-law because I needed them when I was fatter. As a woman I can almost rationalize into keeping all the clothes. BUT the saving grace of sparking joy is what has saved me.

Why should I keep clothes just to have them if I need them, if I hate them? If I feel bad in them? If they don't fill me with confidence and pride? Do you keep things because you are obligated to keep them in memory of someone else?

I will let a few joyful (but off size) items remain for now. I can revisit this later, but for now I will keep some things I do not use, only if they spark joy.

Tomorrow I am getting into the meat, the juice, the clothes. Note: I had attacked them like a half-blind crazy person already. It has been 3 weeks and I am already in closet backslide. I did not write about or visualize or anything, but I attempted to put the book into practice without really committing. Stay Tuned.

KonMari - The Basic Rules

2016-06-27T07:30:00.000-04:00

Kondo wants us to only keep what brings us joy. When shopaholics shop, that is not the joy she is talking about, because if she were, a hoarder's home full of things that brought them joy would seem normal.

That joy in the moment is not the same as holding something and feeling real joy now. So the process is as simple as this:

1. Gather all of the items in the category in one place from all over the house.
2. Hold on to each piece and ask if this item sparks joy (Do you smile when you see it? Do you hold it and feel happy? If this thing was lost, would you truly miss it?)
3. Decide to let go of the things that feel empty or burdensome.

The things we own are normally spread in more than one location in our homes. There are many drawers with pens and cabinets with cleaning items. We have clothes in more than one closet, even storage of some wardrobe in the attics and basements, or worse, we may have purchased additional standing closets to house things we hardly ever wear (or wear at all).

Many people hold on to things long past their worth or value. What value is the thing that does not fulfill its purpose for being?

Things you save for "someday" or sentimental items you keep in a box because you can't part with them, these things are not living as part of your life. They become burdens you have to store. They are the weight of boxes left unopened. They have little joy.

There are rules:
1. There is an order to follow, and do not do a room at a time. (No working room by room. You do all your clothes first because they are least sentimental and most objective.)
2. Do all of the items in the category in one fell swoop. (When you do clothes, do all of the item from coats to socks in one day and move with a pace after you feel comfortable. If you have clothes in storage, clothes in other closets, dressers, or bins, get them all. The only clothing exempt are things currently in the dirty laundry or machine.)
3. Do not let your family see or inform your choices. (You may feel like letting go of something they question, or they may tell you to get rid of things you really love.)
4. Do not burden family and friends with your discards. (Only give away things that you know they are already looking for and they will love. Do not give things that you cannot part with because you cannot part with them and want to see them live on as their burden.)
5. If you live with others, don't toss their stuff. (You need to focus on your stuff first, and they may find the urge when you are feeling the power to also join in.)
6. Don't clutter the air with noise like the TV or radio. Commune with the things in your life. Tap into the process and focus on the task. If you need noise, listen to ambient music without lyrics or commercials.
7. Start in the morning when your energy and judgement is peak. If the weather is nice, open the windows and let the air help energize you.

There is a great FREE printable checklist at the Making Lemonade blog

Kondo's order moves from least sentimental to most. When you run across items of sentimental value, like photos in a drawer, put them aside and do not look at them. The sentimental items take the longest and are the most subjective.

1. Clothing
2. Books
3. Papers
4. Miscellaneous
5. Sentimental Items

Each of these is really broken down into segments, but finish all of Clothing before moving to Books. Finish all Books before moving on to Papers, etc...

Tomorrow I'd like to delve into her concept of the rational verses the intuitive mind during this process because it is my biggest beef. "Everything has a use" my creative mind sings. I have a 3rd mind that wants to save for other reasons...crafty reasons.

Until then, tell me...what do you think so far? Does anything strike you as new or interesting yet? Why?

KonMari - Digging through emotional clutter into the Why?

2016-06-26T09:00:00.000-04:00

Marie Kondo is emphatic that you must find out why you want the lifestyle you want. This is not far from certain neurolinguistic programming (NLP) techniques that self-help gurus like Tony Robbins uses in his courses. I love me some Tony Robbins, and if you had read this blog in the past you know this, and his philosophy is rooted in getting real clear about your deepest why. Your motivation and desire will only burn if you focus your energy on it and fan those flames with constant and consistent focus.

Discovering your deepest why is where real motivation lives.

Let's get serious. Why do I want "...a home where I love cooking, entertaining, and relaxing"?

I love having people over. I'm usually an extrovert who loves to create dishes and parties for those I love. I show love through entertaining and laughter. I feel loved when people are happy here. My home is your home...just stay out of my bedroom.

My bedroom "why" comes down to a place of escape. I said I am usually an extrovert, but I have hidden introvert tendencies. I sometimes need to escape someplace alone, quiet and chill. It would be even better if I had a room within my bedroom where I can get to a second layer of hidden, where a wall would move or a bookcase would reveal a secret lair. This is my most secret desire.

Why?

I have always been fascinated by secret rooms, nooks, and passageways. Any book or film that has them is already a favorite. I love them because they are both escape from the world and security. They are private by choice. I would not let the Hubs show people where it is and it would be only mine.

My home has no such place, so a retreat in the bedroom is the best I can get right now. I need a piece of privacy in an boisterous life.

The other whys for neat organization and effortless storage and preparation is because I sometimes dread and avoid cooking, baking, getting ready, and entertaining because I would have to deal with pulling the right pans from overcrowded cabinets, figure out just what I am going to use or make, and then clean it all up and try to fit everything back.

Does anyone else have too much for their cabinets, overflowing drawers of "stuff"? I cannot be alone here.

I know I am not moving, but like I said yesterday, a why I am beginning to feel deeply is "I don't want to pack this stuff" and "I can't move because I have too much/it will be too hard/I am lazy". More and more there is this pull away from the urban-suburb where I live, but I cannot listen to that because the process makes me feel sick.

My why is all about freedom from things owning me and all about relieving the stress of too much.

When people are too much, I can store myself away.

People can help because they will not wrestle the demons of clutter I hide behind doors. All my rooms that currently look pretty darn neat, can throw open every hinge and truly be accessible.

Kondo wants you to dig into each answer 3-5 times to find more reasons, like the kid in the backseat who knows no better question for you than "WHY?" -- why? I think about this section like asking branching why, base why, and root why.

My solid why is not only showing love through entertaining, and wanting to escape from it. My solid why is to release all stress because clutter is stress in my mind and relationship. Maintained order and perfect storage peace is love to the Hubs. For me to show him love, a more concerted effort to a clutter-free life would be activating love. Instead of him freaking out when we have company over, it would be chill and he would welcome the noise and crowd. Showing love is removing stress.

More deeply, and honestly, all those hidden bits of clutter reflect the clutter of my soul and body. At my root, I am a hot mess. If I am honest, I probably treat myself the way I treat my home. Clean on the outside, stuffed full of all kinds of baggage and excess right under that surface. There are lots of things I have buried inside that I never share with others.

I strongly believe that the clutter purge will do my body good. I have carried emotional matched luggage (in sets with broken wheels) for ages. I need to show my soul love.

The thesis was one of those hidden bags. It was full of promise and locked inside. When I finished, it was as if 10 years of bullshit went out the door. This, I think, was the energy that burst into my first purge of clothing, that I started the day after graduation.

By living in a space that reflects peace, friendship, and joy and not feeling the stress, I can work more closely and with more focus on my inner peace, friendship, and joy. I believe the the space and air around what I do own will allow my house to breathe just as the space and air around my bones (unburdened from layers of padding) will let my soul breathe.

Tomorrow begins the process of getting real with Kondo. The concept of of joy and sparking joy is well documented in her books, but I am not too sure it translates to an American home as well and her writing urges. Examining is the process that will take the bulk of this blog.

Until next time, what is your why? Do you have a branching why, base why, and root why?

KonMari - Begin by identifying your goal

2016-06-25T09:00:00.000-04:00

"Before you start, visualize your destination"

Let's paint that picture, shall we?

For me, this is a home where I love cooking, entertaining, and relaxing. I would have people over weekly, for dinner or drinks. You know those commercials where a group of good-looking adults are laughing at a dinner party over giant glasses of Cabernet and admiring some cheese plate - like this, only with pint-glasses and trays of bacon. Ok, maybe small trays of fancy, healthy apps too--something with quinoa or kale? I'm part silly, but I envision parties.

On the weekends, our place would be the best spot for movies, cards, and laughter. The cards may be Cards Against Humanity, or maybe Uno, but games and cards would be on the table. I would not fear people helping out in the kitchen (because drawers are neat and organized), prepping the table (because the dining room only housed the right stuff), and people could effortlessly stay over because the guest room is inviting and totally chill.

I could end the day in a bedroom that was neat and peaceful, like a hotel, maybe with a place to sit and read before bed. Getting ready in the morning would be effortless because all my clothes are pristine and wrinkle-free; my make-up bench would only house the right cosmetics and my bathroom would have only the products I need.

I'd ride my motorcycle to work. The garage would be like those in a design show--everything organized and off the floor. I wouldn't have long-term storage of crap I never use. AND I CAN GET TO EVERYTHING! That would be sweet.

I could have space to run an eBay based business for selling my books and other crap.

I love the look of Ikea showrooms where spaces look useful and welcoming. When everything says easy to keep clean because there is a place for everything (with space and air around it). The idea of having space for the things I care about, and getting rid of all the stuff carry for ______ reason.

If I were to move, I would like to thankfully pack my things and gladly open boxes because I want my joy in my new space. I do not want to hate the process and hump the weight of my belongings my whole life. I only want real joy, light, and life in my space.

"Think in concrete terms so that you can vividly picture what it would be like to live in a clutter-free space."

I know crap, stuff, and junk are not concrete terms. Perhaps, and I'm just throwing it out there, perhaps that feeling is also one I want to get purged. I want the things I have to have value and meaning to me and purge all those bits that are just "stuff" to me. I want to have a place for everything and only one place, one that doesn't get filled by other things when the thing that lives there is in use.

I want to stop the insanity of Tuperware Jenga! You know what I mean....the plastic or glass containers that somehow breed like tribbles. The pieces that somehow lose lids or bottoms and fall out of the place where they live. I hate this, but do this daily.

Somehow, this space feels slow, quiet, and easy. I don't feel rushed. When I clean weekly, it is just a matter of dust, vacuum, wash. I could have more time to write.

The Hubs hates chachka, knickknacks, trinkets, whatnots and dodads. He loves a clear line of sight and minimal stuff. I always think of solutions to store and hide such things. Ideally, I would like to not hide the stuff and instead have storage for specific items that aide my goals of and entertainment home of joy and peace.

Tomorrow, I will look at my whys. Kondo emphasizes that we must know why we want the space and lifestyle we want. Getting deeply into motivations and discovering my WHY.

Tell me, what does your lifestyle look like? What kind of space do you visualize? Are you more of an Ikea showroom perfection or a country living comfort person inside?

KonMari - Before we dig into the clutter

2016-06-24T14:17:00.000-04:00

I have owned Marie Kondo's The Life-Changing Magic of Tiding Up for over a year. As an Audible.com member, I purchased the audio book version when I read a review online. I thought it would be one of those books to "read" on my commute and it may help me stop pack-ratting. It sat in my iTunes without a listen for all that time because I was overly involved in listening to the huge audio versions of George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series (you may know it as HBO's Game of Thrones). Whatever...

While I was writing my thesis, I had stacks and stacks of books, papers, and digital texts surrounding me for 4 months. I took over my dining room with The Walking Dead academic research and feminist theory resources. My house was a mess most of the time and I was losing things in the clutter.

This is nothing new.

My mom can tell you that I have been a clutter bug all my life (understatement of the year). I used to "clean" my room by shoving toys into the closet, into a drawer, under the bed, into loose socks, anywhere out of sight. She would find socks with toy parts, Barbie shoes, bits of paper, candy, you name it. I still go-to this option when I am stressed or need to quickly make my house look like it is well-kept. I was Dobby the dysfunctional House Elf.

I am not "dirty" per say; I disinfect the bathrooms weekly, wash my floors, dust, sweep and vacuum on the regular. I may let dishes overnight in the sink and/or dishwasher, or I may wait to clean the stove because I hate it, but you would never be grossed out in my home. In fact, it normally looks quite nice. But open the junk drawer, or anything that closes (closets, drawers, cabinets, desks, etc) and watch out! There are at least 10 junk-drawers in the house. I may have over 400 pens/pencils/markers in 5 locations. I cannot keep track of my "stuff" because it could be almost anywhere.

All the clutter hiding stresses me out! I can never find what I need because it is lost in a box somewhere or hidden away.

I have a hard time parting with things that are useful, even if they are used only occasionally. I get sad when I have to toss a gift that was given to me but is useless. I always think "I can probably use this" and into a closet, drawer, or pile it goes. Frankly, if it was expensive or is useful, I keep it. (Might have a shopping addiction to deal with at some point too...)

Part of the KonMari method seeks to get to the root of the kind of life you want, the environment that you most desire to live in, with the things that only bring you joy. I think some of Kondo's mentality is rooted in Shinto and Zen Buddhism: things have kami (spiritual energy) and your space should invoke peace.

What I really like about this is that Kondo seeks to teach you to find whatever brings you joy and peace. You really need to dig into your own self to discover this. It is not prescriptive in the process of purging--"Keep this and toss that and you will have joy" but it surely is more prescriptive in the process of organizing afterwards.

Kondo insists over and over that "people who use the KonMari method never revert to clutter again." Because a large part of me would love to not have clutter at all, this sounds great.

The next week I want to write out some of the exercises she assigns clients in her book to see what I really visualize as the kind of space and life I most desire.

I envision this blog will fight the KonMari method, because I cannot even begin to imagine some of the advice in action in an American home. For instance, she writes "Do not even think of putting your things away until you have finished the process of discarding." I have a 1200sq ft home that I have lived in for over a dozen years with a man who has lived here for 36 years. Sure when his mom passed we had marathon garage sales and purged without prejudice, but we have so much stuff in all areas of our home that I could not imagine living out of boxes and piles for months until I have gone through all categories and things.

Her first category, clothes, took me a whole day with the help of The Hubs. She tells you to take all your clothes, from everywhere in your home, and put them on the floor to go through all at once. From coats to socks, all seasons, were on my bed and I purged, I donated 3 contractor garbage bags, have one regular bag to donate later (coats for a winter drive because they are expensive and new) and an expensive dress for a prom drive next year. I threw away 3 bags of garbage that I did not want to donate. If I did not put my clothes away, I would have been living in a pile of my wardrobe and The Hubs would divorce me. I will write more about this because I have not followed explicitly and am already backsliding in my closet, so I guess she is kinda right.

Till tomorrow, what kinds of decluttering have you tried? Do you have issues with clutter? Am I alone?

Challenging, Me

2016-06-23T11:56:00.000-04:00

When I started this blog several years back, it was because I wanted to do a juice fast and wanted to know the day-by-day of that process. There was a hole, a gaping hole at the time, in this field because it was prior to Joe Cross' film release and before people got into juicing in that way. So my blog was a way for give others what I wanted.

Fast forward 6 years! I still get thousands of hits to this site and am thankful that juicing changed me. More than juicing, the writing changed me. Back when this site was fresh, I had given up my masters thesis for lost, had settled into work and the daily grind. Sticking to the fast for 60 days solid showed me just how determination and focus creates change.

I recently finished my thesis and degree, having gone back in 2014 to retake some courses and write my thesis at night. I persevered. This was my biggest challenge, one that I beat myself up about for a long time. People don't know how hard failure to finish the first time was on me. When I got over myself and my piss-poor attitude (berating yourself is a shitty thing to do), I applied the juicing focus and determination to my degree.

Even after I was told I would have to retake courses I had already aced...
Even after I was told I would have to take a whole new course because an old one no longer counted...
Even after I had to give up teaching for a year to focus on my writing...
Even after I didn't know how I was going to pay for those classes...

It was determination and focus that met those challenges. Now I sit with the knowledge that --

I can, I will, I did.

So what am I getting at? I have other challenges I need to write about. Now that I am with-degree, it seems I am free of a weight that had been holding me down. It was a mental weight, sure, but it is amazing how kicking its ass leaves me buzzed.

I am going to write about more challenges here in the coming days. I polled some friends about what challenges they have before them, to see if we share similar journeys. Here is my short list:

1. Apply Marie Kondo's method of tiding up to my home and life.
2. Alkalize my diet with more greens than starches.
3. Save money and get out of debt.
4. Write a children's series, pictorial.
5. Write a contemporary romance mystery.
6. Write erotica.
7. Volunteer locally.
8. Purge my digital clutter.
9. Stop eating sugar.
10. Form exercise habit.
11. Focus on my diet hardcore.
12. Spend actual real-time with friends and foster relationships.
13. Develop meditation practice.
14. Spend less than $100 a week on shopping (including groceries).
15. ?

I am leaving my list open-ended because I am not sure how it is going to develop or if my order is illogical. When I was writing it, I was struck by the idea that I can combine some into others, maybe do more than one at a time. I am not sure how I want to proceed.

I have already finished Marie Kondo's first book The Life-Changing Magic of Tiding Up and am reading Spark Joy, her follow-up, I am going to devote my next challenge to a blog about how it works for me. How does this Japanese mentality apply to an American home? Does the concept of joy mean enough to make way through the house-full of belongings I own?

I got to tell you all about how the first purge went...next time.

Till then, what is on your list? What have you wanted to do, but have not gotten around to doing?

Update, pics and things

2014-08-13T15:10:00.000-04:00

As the summer moves on I have been spending less and less time indoors in my free-time. I seem to have something to do every weekend, this past one was anachronistic themed with visits to both the NY Renne Faire and Medieval Times. I logged 20k steps on Saturday at the faire and my knees let me know Sunday.

I have to focus to actively past this plateau I've been at for a year. I guess it didn't help that I just got off an indulgent cruise with 7 days of frozen drinks, rum runners, and beer. So much beer. Anyway, I wanted to share a few shots with this update post to show I am still very much alive.

NJ Leatherneck Pig Roast 2014

The Hubs at the Beatles exhibit at Woodstock Museum after Santana concert

getting to see my nieces and meeting my nephew for the first time because they live in Australia!

cruising 2014

kayaking with manatees in Florida

celebrating our 16 year anniversary (6-years of marriage)

from our surprise suite on the ship!

Happy, healthy, and getting ready for the fall. New post coming Friday. I am updating on current challenge, big things to come, and lots of plans.

Playing the metrics game

2014-05-02T14:41:00.002-04:00

I had Basis Band success last week: All goals met and exceeded.

So I upped my goals:

Morning Lap: walk 2.5k steps before noon x2 a week (thought I shoot for daily habit)
Evening Lap: walk 1.5k steps after 5pm x2 a week (though I shoot for daily habit)
Don't be a Sitter: get up and move between the hours for 9am-5pm, not idle for more than 1hr)
Move It: get active for at least 30 mins a day

In all, I have really made the effort to choose active over passive activity, trying to add to my numbers and hit the basic goal of 10k steps a day. Coming into this I realize I have become sedentary over my adult life. As a kid I took 13 years of ballet, 7 of Jazz, 4 of tap, I acted in theater, I played softball (not well), did a few 5k charity events and I took step-class at the YMCA. As a post-college adult, I rarely, if ever, did anything more than walk a mall. Go to work, sit; get in car, drive; get home, sit and eat; go to party, sit and drink; go to bar, go to play, go to movie - no wonder my ass was going to hell.

This past weekend I did a Fireshaper Blaze class on Saturday morning and it was so tough after being out of it for a while. I only made it through 50% of the standing parts as my head spun and I almost hit my mat. That heat is a beast, but so helpful in loosening my tight muscles.

My Basis band did not register the activity as active: the Blaze class will get your heart rate up and your sweat poring out, but it is "slow and hold" as far as movement. The overall calorie burn spikes in the morning showed that I did something good for myself even if it was not "active" activity.

I want to show you Sunday:

Sunday we took a drive to Asbury Park and walked the boardwalk, stumbled upon a Restaurant week tour (did not participate as it was sold weeks in advance) and found ourselves walking through Ocean Grove and turning around at Bradley Beach. We put in some time outside in the great weather and walked a bunch.

The rest of the week has been not as active, though I was able to get planting done yesterday and the Hubs spent the entire day lugging buckets of mulch (around 3.2k lbs or 4 cubic yards!) up and down a flight of stairs and into flower beds around the property. I wonder if he were wearing this Basis band how many step/calories he burned!

With the rain we had this week I was not so much in the walking mood, so Question - How do you get into the workout spirit in dreary weather?

A week down and OMG I am in love with my Basis Band

2014-04-25T10:58:00.003-04:00

Is it possible to love a piece of personal tech more than my iPhone? More than my Rotadent toothbrush?

I think there is...

My Basis Carbon Steel is my new best friend. It is the best friend that gets me off the couch, out of my cubical, taking the stairs...

I am getting active again to hit real goals. Starting with what is achievable and moving to ever larger goals, I am on my way.

Here is this morning:

My longest goal to date is taking 2000 steps before noon. Coming from a place where I get ready, drive into the office and sit at a desk for 9 hours. On the 2 days I teach, I may do 2 hours of standing in the evening, but that is really nothing. By all accounts, I was doing nothing but becoming more and more lazy.

What I really like about the Basis band is that it is passively encouraging me to move. Because I can graph and track the metrics (I am all about metrics in my business), this is personal magic.

If you look above, you can see the almost 30 minute walk I took this morning. It was just around my neighborhood, a few hills, and some of this fresh Spring air. It was actually fun.Why haven't I done this all the rest of the days in my life?

Well, I have, for a week, taken that walk. I feel better for it. I have also made it a goal to move around every hour and not sit like a lump. So far, so good.

Here is a snap of some of my goals:

I am excited to make each habit turn green. I am excited to see what happens when I wear this to Fireshaper for a Hot Yoga class. The perspiration meter will think I am swimming!

The New Challenge

2014-04-22T11:17:00.000-04:00

How long can one not post to a blog but still remain relevant?

Hello, my name is Lynette, and I have not posted to this blog in (checks back) 10 months. Wow.

What is new in that time? I got a promotion at work (yay!) went on my first cruise ever (yay2) and am finishing up yet another semester teaching my night class (yay3). I also pulled off my own surprise birthday party Taco Night (surprise to me - I thought we were just having friends over). Life is always good.

In all, I think this year has been amazing. I have seen so many new things, had new experiences - I love Snuba and snorkeling (who knew?).

On the juice-fast front - I have not juice fasted since last time. :( Yet I am holding to my after-fast weight :). BooYah. A short juice cleanse is in the planning.

On to the good stuff. I decided to get into this whole fitness-tracker thing. I have gotten lazy (totally have not been to yoga in a longer than I'd like to admit). So I bought this Basis Health Tracker for Fitness, Sleep & Stress band and am tracking my activity level, heart rate, sleep paterns, steps, calories burned...habits both good and bad.

The irony is that I was afforded this purchase thanks to giftcards from my Taco-Night partygoers. I got it last Thursday and have been wearing it since. I think I kinda am obsessed.

I synced it like 10 times the first day to log and chart the activities I was doing (lots of not much), and my sleep (many REM breaks it seems). It is cool, but I have to see how it really is useful for me.

As far as the challenge, I have it set now for a few habits. I want to get 2000 steps in before noon, go for a short walk in the evening, and make sure I move every hour (I work at a desk in a cubical farm). It is also giving me points for wearing it 20 hours a day (it was 12, but I want to make sure I am wearing it as much as I can). So far, so good.

I recognize now that I have the very visable data, that I have taken a walk every morning. I have walked to the pharmacy instead of getting in the car. I have gone for a walk around the block before bed to get in the added points. I have met all my short-term goals thus far. I have seen that I sleep like crap if I eat too close to bedtime. I see that one drink sends me into deep sleep 10 minutes after I get in bed, but that is the only deep sleep I get all night (an hour).

I'm going to think about this process in writing again here. Getting active is my next level. The Hubs has been going to yoga 5 days a week for the past few months and is looking all svelt. Time for me to kick it up a notch too.

What do you do to get more activity in your life?

So how am I doing 3 years later?

2013-07-16T00:04:00.001-04:00

Well, some recent comments on old posts led me to believe an update is needed. I'm alive and very well.

svelte, or at least approaching it for me

That's me, last October. I'm around near what I was after my fast... Well, maybe like 7 lbs less. From my heaviest I'm down a total of 65lbs. I am a lot happier today than I was 3 years back.

This summer has been super. We started off with our Memorial Day BBQ with 75 of our nearest and dearest. I made a drunk rainbow baby* Jell-O shot cake,

*no actual babies were harmed in this process.

And he was delish! He may have taken a few hours to make, but with 3 cups of whipped cream vodka inside, he'll about knock you on the rear. I only had one bit, but my other guests (and one sneaky dog) enjoyed him immensely.

I'm planning a fall cruise and hoping to drop another 20 or 30 lbs before October, so expect some juicing days posted soon. Much love, Lynette

A few days ago, in the car, on the way to a b'day party

2.23 - Life and everything around it

2013-04-16T14:05:00.003-04:00

So, it's been a few days. I have had trouble sticking to pure juice days of late. I was doing okay until this past weekend when I hung out with some friends and made burgers and chicken on the grill. I had half a burger and there went Sunday (I was home all day and was too lazy to juice more than breakfast!).

So what has these 60 days become for me? It certainly is not the strict fast I did last time, far from the days of juice and water. I am still juicing 2x a day and having a meal. I guess that is better than doing nothing. I am angry with myself for not sticking to it 100%, but have learned to forgive myself because anger is a worthless emotion, especially self-anger.

On the brighter, juicier side, I give you Spinach Red Swiss Chard Apple Romaine:

Ick, I know. The blood-red layer is cool, but the green looks all swampy. It tastes heavily vegetable.

When you shake it, it blends again into a dark green muck. It is not a bad flavor, but it is something very green. You can almost taste the nutrients and all those great vitamins.

I forgot to take a pic of the breakfast juice that day: Carrot Ginger Pineapple + Nutmeg and Cinnamon. I tried to take the flavors of a carrot cake and make a juice. It was good (in my opinion) though my sister hated the nutmeg and cinnamon. I think it added interest and spice to something sweet. I want to experiment more with taking my spice cabinet to the juicer.

I also made another bloody-looking juice for dinner yesterday that had my class looking at me strangely: Beet Spinach Carrot Apple

It was thick and brown-red, and to tell the truth, I felt like a vampire drinking it as it was so deeply red-brown. I was afraid I'd smile and have it all over my teeth! I guess it didn't help that I was listening to a contemporary para-romance in the car on the way to class. Molly Harper's Nice Girls Don't Have Fangs (Jane Jameson, Book 1)series, I'm on Nice Girls Don't Live Forever (Jane Jameson, Book 3), keeps me entertained when I am juicing because the heroine, a funny new vampire, does not eat solid food and laments the smell of food and taste of it too. It is funny if you like that sort of fiction and I have listened to them all on audiobook maybe 3 times now, and it is still funny. I have a huge fan-girl crush on Ms Harper's wit and like to imagine we'd hit it off in real life.

I digress... I leave you with this graphic about spices for your body:

2.16 - Success and not so much

2013-04-09T15:19:00.002-04:00

I haven't blogged in several days, due to the trip and my catch-up Monday (seriously email and teaching overload). The bright sunshine outside and more than mild weather is part of a happiness cocktail, and I'm drinking deep today.

To fill in the success (and not) of the weekend - I juiced eery morning (YAY) and ate mostly veggies and fish (YAY) but there was instances of ice cream and buffalo wings. I also may have had a beer or 10 over 4 days. Caught up in Ocean City beauty and eating out, I made some choices and they were delicious if not ideal. Living is not easy sometimes.

Yesterday and today I am back on the juice. I ran out the door yesterday with a liquid-salad concoction ala my sister (thanks) and an almond milk + Green Vibrance powder (freeze-dried and powdered greens). Mint shake it was not, but it was filling.

Other than this, I left my teaching job hungry as heck. I came home and ate a whole bowl of edamame. Totally not part of my juice day, but there you have it. I get home after 8pm on Monday and Wednesday, so it was not ideal to break the juice. Today, however, I am a woman on a mission.

I started the day with the always pretty pineapple strawberry juice, and have another liquid salad on deck for this evening.

2.10 - Doin' the (honey)Dew

2013-04-03T11:49:00.000-04:00

Day 10! Last day of juice before the break. So far I am down 9 lbs. I know a lot of this is water weight and lack-o-stuff in my digestive tract, so I expect to go up over the weekend at least 2 lbs. If I add fish, I may be up 4 lbs. Who's counting that when I feel good? (secret? It's me.)

Today my iPhone could not capture the color of this juice - pure straight Honeydew melon. I tried different lights, nothing was quite right. Here it is:

Now isn't that a cool-looking drink? I know there are different schools of thought about juicing melons, and for this one I fall into the juice it alone camp. It does something to my digestion, let's leave it at that. It also has a nice mild flavor that would be hidden by another juice.

I added some young coconut water because I was making 3 pints for my sister and Hubs, but one melon (without the rind because it was not ideal) made almost 3 pints. The coconut water is only to fill the pints to the brim and keep the air out to prevent oxidation.

I wanted to share the below image of what the juice looked like in person. I lit it up because it really looks like this in person and tastes like this as well. It occurred to me, suddenly, that Mountain Dew looks like this and then is it supposed to be honeydew flavor soda? In my limited experience "doin' the Dew" - I think not. In fact, I would much rather drink this liquid neon green madness than the bottle poison marketed to us. Let us forever more do this (honey)dew!