Third Cigar Today

noreply@blogger.com (Barney) — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 20:44:00 +0000

For the most part, I have come to the conclusion that life is really good. Regardless of circumstances; not dependent on who I am and where I am going. I am where I want to be, for now. How about you?

21

noreply@blogger.com (Barney) — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 17:02:00 +0000

We celebrated Ryan's 21st birthday yesterday. Took him out to get a steak. I guess this makes him officially a man. And a good one at that. Happy Birthday, man!

noreply@blogger.com (Barney) — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 15:24:00 +0000

Love the Onion

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/survivors_of_gas_station

over

noreply@blogger.com (Barney) — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 20:26:00 +0000

Today saw the end of a six-week stretch in my life that had left me ill, sullen, and stressed. The circumstances behind the ordeal are of a personal nature and I won't express them here, but today I am reminded of my love for my family and friends, and I am relieved to find out/be reminded that there are still plenty of really good people out there. I am also reminded of God's love for me and his peaceful hand upon my life.

Its time for a really good cigar...

movie

noreply@blogger.com (Barney) — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 21:07:00 +0000

My favorite Christmas movie is Love Actually. I say it is a Christmas movie because it is set at Christmas. It is a great film about the differing kinds of love that we experience--family, romantic, freindship, etc. And it does it all with that witty British tilt to it. Great music, too. Oh--and Keira Knightly and Laura Linney. Go watch it.

hope

noreply@blogger.com (Barney) — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 02:36:00 +0000

First Sunday of Advent---Hope

I have a hope that those who are my brothers and sisters in Christ will begin to lay aside differences between us and focus on our common belief, our common faith--a hope that those things that divide and separate us will diminish and fade and that we can begin to effect a coming together of mind and spirit that reflects the mind of a God of love, mercy and grace

I have a hope that instead of the world seeing a bitter and bickering family of God that they would see a people that are more concerned with showing forth the love of God in all aspects of our life regardless of the differences in our congregational interpretations of doctrine

I have a hope that instead of being seen as a polarizing force in today’s culture, that we would be seen as a unifying one--a people that love unconditionally, without agenda or selfish ambition---without an air of superiority or exclusiveness

I have a hope that those who live by the power of Christ in their lives would learn to do so with meekness and humility instead of heavy-handedness and well-intended, yet ill-placed passions

I have a hope that those who call themselves Christian that rise to power in government would use that power not to divide and conquer, but to serve and protect

I have a hope that those who need and desire love and grace would seek and find it in those who call themselves Christian and can offer His love and acceptance, rather than relying upon a world that seeks to devour them and throw them away

is it all too much to hope for? Am I being unrealistic with my hopes? Am I too idealistic? Are my hopes based on what I feel is wrong with today’s Christianity? Am I just being reactionary?

what is hope if not a desire for a certain outcome based on a belief that errors can be admitted, wrongs can be righted, and the Christ that lives within me can be exalted?

is my hope misplaced, unwarranted, misguided?—maybe, but if all hope were realistic at face-value, then it would not be hope

and if hope does not arise and swell from need and desire for what many would consider difficult, if not impossible, then yes, I am misguided and idealistic

guilty...but not swayed

music in the air

noreply@blogger.com (Barney) — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 14:38:00 +0000

Susan, Sarah and I attended a choir concert in Wilmington last night presented by the Lenoir Rhyne University Choir, of which my brother-in-law, Scott, is a member. Scott has a great bass voice and had several solos. The concert was wonderful and prompted my mind to wander back...

Although I recognized a few of the pieces, most of them were unknown to me. I began to think about all the hymns that I sang for so many years. I know a lot of words to a lot of hymns. That's how I was raised---singing the hymns at church. My mother was the choir director. I developed a mediocre tenor voice and used to love to sing in a SATB setting. The whole experience last night gave me a warm feeling of remembrance about my younger days of innocence. While I felt a little uncomfortable in this rather high-church setting, the music moved upon me as it always does. Even when I was singing the guilt-ridden, judgmental songs of my bluegrass gospel days, it was the music and harmonies that really attracted me.

I guess music sometimes has a way of transcending bad theology...or bad ideology...or bad whatever. "I dig music.....I'm on drugs"--Russell Hammond, Almost Famous

saturday

noreply@blogger.com (Barney) — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 16:43:00 +0000

Enjoying R&R today--cigars and football. Because I live where I work, many times I find it difficult to resist the urge to look out the window to make sure everything is going fine out on the grounds. Today I will not look out the window.

Much...

cigarony

noreply@blogger.com (Barney) — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 12:51:00 +0000

I know I've not written anything all summer. How frustrating it must be for all those who get the RSS feed! lol Anyway, it's not that I have had nothing to say, it's that I've had too much to say everywhere else but here. I'll try to improve on that.

Susan sends me poems she finds on the internet or through her daily subscription(s). Today's was profoundly meaningful to me.

Literature in the 21st Century

by Ronald Wallace

Long for This World: New and Selected Poems) -->

Sometimes I wish I drank coffee

or smoked Marlboros, or maybe cigars—

yes, a hand-rolled Havana cigar

in its thick, manly wrapping,

the flash of the match between

worn matchbook and stained forefinger,

the cup of the palm at the tip,

the intake of air, and the slow and

luxuriant, potent and pleasurable

exhale. Shall we say also a glass

of claret? Or some sherry with its

dark star, the smoke blown

into the bowl of the glass,

like fog on portentous morning,

the rich man-smell of gabardine and wool,

of money in its gold clip?

Sometimes I wish I had habits a man wouldn't kick,

faults a good man could be proud of.

I'd be an expatriate from myself,

all ink-pen and paper in a Paris café

where the waiters were elegant and surly,

the women relaxed and extravagant

with their bobbed hair and bonbons,

their perfumed Gauloises, their oysters and canapés,

and I'd be writing about war and old losses—man things-

and not where I am, in this pristine and sensitive vessel,

all fizzy water, reticence, and care,

all reduced fat and purified air,

behind my deprived computer,

where I can't manage even a decaf cap, a mild Tiparillo,

a glass of great-taste-less-filling light beer.

"Literature in the 21st Century" by Ronald Wallace from Long for This World: New and Selected Poems. © University of Pittsburgh Press, 2003. Reprinted

I think I'll go put on a sweater and have a cigar...

fly away

noreply@blogger.com (Barney) — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 12:45:00 +0000

I'm heading to the Chicago area on Friday for the ACGC convention. Things have been pretty hectic. Sarah graduated high school last week, we threw a party for her on Saturday, 1st week of camp started Sunday, we attended freshman orientation with her at UNCW on Monday and Tuesday (even though she's going in as a sophomore), on and on, etc, etc. It's still a busy time, but Ryan is going with me so that's good. I'm looking forward to it.....well, the Ryan part....

I am leading a seminar at the convention about today's youth culture. I anticipate several attendees who will either have no idea what i am talking about or want to argue or run me out on a rail. But maybe some will leave with a better idea of what's going on in the culture today and with a more realistic attitude about how to relate to the culture. Or maybe it will snow....

how i look

noreply@blogger.com (Barney) — Mon, 19 May 2008 14:22:00 +0000

Last week I needed to have a photo made to go with a bio for an upcoming seminar in Chicago. I asked a friend with whom I work to take a few pics of me outside (she says I tilt my head and pose..well.doesn't every beauty king?) on the grounds of the camp. As I looked at the pics later, I was disappointed with them because I just don't feel as if I "take" a good picture. I have always felt that pictures of me don't look quite right. Then a light bulb appears over my head (symbolically i think) and I think I figured out why I don't look right. As I looked at the pictures, the guy looking back at me in the pictures had his hair parted on the left, which is how I part my hair. BUT, the guy looking back at me in the mirror for the past 30 years (since I dropped the fro in high school) has his hair parted on the right side. Revelation.

How I thought I have looked all these years is exactly facially opposite of how I really look to everyone. I think the guy in the mirror is a handsome man and the man in the pictures is slightly less than that. All these years I have been standing in front of the mirror thinking that the guy in the mirror was the one who presented himself to the world, when in reality, the world saw just the opposite.

As an experiment, this past Friday I parted my hair on the other side and came into the office. People could tell something was a little different, but only one person could pinpoint the difference. But there was a difference.

Last night at Hope, I used this to illustrate a point from David Kinnaman's book, UnChristian. His point was that his research indicated that most Christians feel that they are perceived as genuine and concerned by those outside the church when in reality the majority of those outside the Christian faith perceive Christians as the opposite -- agenda-driven number counters with little or no real interest in them at all. I used this to make the point that it is very easy to think we look one way, yet everyone sees us as the opposite of what we think we present. It's one of those "wow" moments that I'm afraid too few in the Christian community would be open to hearing, yet it needs to be proclaimed.

I know it is very diffucult to realize the picture we've tried to paint for 30 years is giving the opposite effect that we have intended, and it is easy to blame the hearers for their unwillingness to hear, and interpreters for their calloused and biased interpretations to those whom we are trying to reach. I realize also that many of the Christian faith will never understand what I am trying to say, but maybe we all need to comb that part on the other side and see what happens...

busyness

noreply@blogger.com (Barney) — Mon, 19 May 2008 12:36:00 +0000

I can get so busy that my thoughts seem to congeal like..uh..congealed stuff. I have made it through the camp open house, the camp golf tournament, 2 family birthdays and my wedding anniversary since the first day of this month. At the same time, I have managed to read more than usual to prepare for a seminar I have to do in June near Chicago. So though I have lots about which to blog, the time is little. Busy bee...

noreply@blogger.com (Barney) — Mon, 05 May 2008 20:40:00 +0000

My baby girl is 18 today.
I'm ok...no really...I'm good.
Happy Birthday, Sage

Being great

noreply@blogger.com (Barney) — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 14:44:00 +0000

I know most of you have probably seen this or know about it, but just in case you have not seen it or do not know about Paul Potts, well...take a look. It is one of those times when you're blindsided and just have to sit down (and for those traditional perfectionists out there who have worked hard to get where they are, blah, blah...maybe lighten up and don't be a hata). Just a reminder to me today that most of the great things in this world usually come from ordinary people like you and me. I think I'll go out and be great today. Take a look (you may want a tissue if you've never seen it).

happy birthday

noreply@blogger.com (Barney) — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 14:20:00 +0000

Tuesday was a birthday for Martha, a lady in our church. Last night we surprised her with a surprise party. Italian food and Dean Martin on the cd player. Cake and ice cream and presents. Martha is an encourager with the gift of helping and I appreciate her comments after an evening when I stand in front of the Hope group (sounds like a twelve-step group, huh?) and ramble on about what can seem to me to be extremely myopic topics. The Hope group is the one group where I can pretty much flesh out what God is teaching me and not have them knock on my door later that night with an intervention. It is nice to have that kind of place.

how strong is strong?

noreply@blogger.com (Barney) — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 14:13:00 +0000

I find I have an enjoyment for strong cigars. The Connecticut shade wrappers just don't seem to provide the taste or enjoyment they used to. Even if I smoke one in the morning with my coffee, I'm grabbing an El Rico Habano or Joya de Nicaragua, both of which I also can enjoy in the evening. I guess after a year and a half of honing my taste buds, I'm settling into a "preferred" taste.

saving the denomination

noreply@blogger.com (Barney) — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 19:10:00 +0000

I received a request from a good friend in youth ministry to respond to the following prayer request from one of our denominational publications:

"That a high percentage of the non-Advent Christian youth pastors working in Advent Christian churches will search the scriptures thoroughly for understanding and interpretation"

Christians have always been a right vs. wrong, us vs. them kind of people - think Crusades. Once the protestants of modernity began the denominational-izing of the faith, we began to eat our own. We all want to be right and feel that our denominations are right in every doctrine and pseudo-doctrine. Otherwise, why bother pouring ourselves into something that we feel may be wrong, right? And why hire and ordain those who are not going to teach and hold to our own secondary distinctives?

There is a lot of self-preservation in this prayer request. Instead of asking God to infiltrate the hearts and minds of these leaders in such a way as to show love, grace, and acceptance to a youth culture that is awash in their own self-preservation caused by adult-led, institutional abandonment of their needs as young people, some (including this request) seem more concerned that they know how to teach students how to sleep when they die.

Have we become so marginalized that we make these leaders feel as if they are not doing a good job if their emphasis is not on keeping us marginalized (and irrelevant)?

Denominations have their place and I appreciate the history and heritage of my own, but I long for the day when our hearts break for those who need love and acceptance regardless of their dogma.

Thanks, yaaase!

corny christianity

noreply@blogger.com (Barney) — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 02:12:00 +0000

I subscribe to a message board for ministers. The following story/illustration was posted today:

One day, a man went to visit a church, He got there early, parked his car and got out. Another car pulled up near the driver got out and said, ' I always park there! You took my place!'

The visitor went inside for Sunday School, found an empty seat and sat down. A young lady from the church approached him and stated, 'That's my seat! You took my place!' The visitor was somewhat distressed by this rude welcome, but said nothing.

After Sunday School, the visitor went into the sanctuary and sat down. Another member walked up to him and said, ' That's where I always sit! You took my place!' The visitor was even more troubled by this treatment, but still He said nothing.

Later as the congregation was praying for the Lord to reveal his presence among them that day in worship, the visitor stood up, and his appearance began to change. Scars became visible on his hands and his sandaled feet, and a crown of thorns appeared on his head. Someone from the congregation noticed him and called out, 'What happened to you?' A tear fell from the visitor's eye as he replied, 'I took your place.'

There was a time in my life when I would have scarfed this up as a tool for a message, one that would elicit an emotional response from the hearer, enabling me to make further emotional appeals to an audience now ready for the "kill." Following would be more emotional appeals that would be intended to guilt my audience into the response for which I was looking.

I would never use this today. I have seen too much guilt heaped onto others by well-meaning but misguided speakers and ministers. I'm no longer a guilt guy. Emotional games rarely cement values and beliefs over the long-haul. I've heard enough of these kind of stories in church and at camp to make me very wary of them.

Also, to tell this story one must assume that the audience understands why there are scars and thorns and tears from a transfigured visitor in the first place. I wonder if we don't make the assumption that all who enter a church are already "bubbled" into our Christian cocoon. Outsiders would probably not be well-versed in our beliefs on propitiation and substitution and the resulting confusion may make them feel even less a part of the club.

Is this the way we want to roll?

why am I blogging?

noreply@blogger.com (Barney) — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 00:42:00 +0000

There are few outlets or venues in which I feel comfortable expressing views or opinions about many of the subjects which I think deserve new or fresh dialogue. The constraints imposed - many would say they are self-imposed - by position and status-quo quite often stymie my ability (or willingness) to express things that are of importance to me in a way that leaves me or an audience satisfied . Third Cigar Today, therefore, will be an outlet for just that.

So much of what I hear and read today leaves me wanting for a little more realism, a bit more bite, and a lot more honesty. Whether the topic is about the "emergent" (still trying to wrap my mind around this) movement of the church, the near-instant evolution (or devolution) of cultural norms, or the discussion of the hint of 7-yr old Madagascar vanilla in a 15-yr old White Owl, there is much to be said and learned.