This Bike is Fucked

Valve Cap Lock Nut

2016-05-23T04:25:00.003-09:00

There's an app for that, oh and some plastic

2016-04-16T05:25:00.000-09:00

Interbike the time of year when the interesting and odd products show up. A product for those who haven't sorted out limit screws... Check it out at bike rumor if you dare http://www.bikerumor.com/2015/10/01/bike-needs-a-tune-the-otto-tuning-system-has-an-app-for-that-with-smart-phone-based-derailleur-adjustment/

Shitmano, Go Fuck Yourself

2016-04-15T06:48:00.000-09:00

Just over a week ago, the Angry Buddhist posted an article about Shitmano and their new pricing structure. Go read it, http://yourbikehatesyou.blogspot.com/2016/04/shimano-giant-angry-blue-smurf-thats.html

Read it as it will give you the background for most of what needs to be said.

I agree with AB on many points. However, there are a couple that I believe are way off and should be discussed. Enough so, that I have come out of hiding to give you a piece of my twisted mind.

First up, the following,

Maybe this is your fault. Yup. Read that again. It is your fault IBD. I have been working in very healthy retail stores that have shelves of black and blue boxes on hand. The same boxes that are cheaper online. A lot cheaper. I have sold XT brakes all day long as replacements for Elixirs and Juicy's. Why? Not because they are cheaper, but because I have them on hand and have technicians who can install externally routed brakes properly in under an hour, on top of their regular work load. I work in healthy IBD's who can make that sale happen. What about your shop?

This. I get this. I run a shop that keeps things in stock. We support our customers and get that people don't want to wait to get things fixed. We used the, "we have it now" line many times. And until recently that wasn't a problem. We sold so many XT brakes in the past couple of years because we had it now and we could install it now and have that customer back out riding in a couple of hours. But when any customer with a smart phone can find the same exact part online with free shipping for $10 cheaper than what I pay for it, it makes it look like I'm price gouging.

Case in point, customer shows up with derailleur no longer attached to bike. Yes, we can fix that and have it back up and running perfectly for you in about 45 minutes. Great. Customer leaves happy, but then realizes that he could have purchased the same XT derailleur online for about 60% under MSRP, which is what we charged. He's now pissed as fuck that "we took advantage of him because he needed it now." Push comes to shove and it is almost impossible for a customer to believe that a dealer, a Shimano Service Center literally pays more for parts than what they can be purchased online. If you are a consumer that believes that, I can guarantee you it is true. Even to the point that many dealers will purchase from online stores to save some money.

The point, it doesn't make any sense whatsoever for us now to keep Shitmano parts in stock. We pay more for them, get screwed by the company making them and then piss off our customers for selling them at MSRP. Which it should be noted means Manufacturer Suggested Retail Price or what Shitmano tells us we should sell them for. You can blame the customer, but really, can you blame the customer? Fuck Shitmano!

The other point is this one, "Shimano is not around to subsidize the local IBD." While yes this is very true the inverse is also true, the local IBD is not around to subsidize Shitmano. Unbeknownst to most consumers, bike shops are in no way compensated for doing warranty work. If you bring me a set of XTR brakes that are leaking from the ceramic pistons like they did for quite some time, and I get you a new set. I'm left with two options. 1 make you pay for me to replace a part that was not your fault that it stopped working or 2 I take it in the ass. Shitmano doesn't care because if I don't charge you it didn't cost them anything. If I do charge you, you are now mad at me, not Shitmano.

Not only are we left holding the bag, but Shitmano encourages this bull shit. If you contact them directly for one of those XT derailleurs that you purchased online for less than I can buy it for because there is something wrong with it, they will send you to me. Now I get to pay my employees to waste their time on a part I didn't sell to process a warranty. So to say that Shitmano is not around to subsidize me is true, but they then need to fucking pay for their warranty process and warranty support.

Sure, shops can charge for processing a warranty but it turns into the same issue. If I charge you for something you feel Shitmano should cover, I become the asshole not Shitmano.

This all begs of what should be done. Shitmano doesn't care and will outright tell you that they don't care so we can't look to them to be part of the solution. And this is a point that I agree with AB on, the IBD must evolve. Push the limits, diversify, move to items and sevices that can't be purchased online, etc. Part of that will be making partnerships with companies that choose to not expect the IBD to subsidize their business. Do I still sell Shitmano's parts? Yup, but now they are tucked away in a cabinet and in the parts room, they get no show room space. I support my customer's and their need for replacement products, but I sure as shit will not be promoting a company that has chosen to not work as a partner.

One thing that needs to be recognized is that while Shitmano makes some of the best products on the market, when they piss off the majority of the people who have been promoting and supporting their products, their sales will be effected. Fuck 'em!

Consumer direct is the next big thing

2015-10-14T04:49:00.000-09:00

Until it isn't....

Questions. So. Many. Questions.

2015-09-28T10:24:00.001-09:00

Sometimes it's best to leave certain questions left unasked because it's almost guaranteed the answer will only create more.

There's something wrong with my tire.

2015-09-25T13:02:00.002-09:00

These two things are related. I'll let you sort out which one cause which.

Hey, I have a great idea...

2015-09-24T04:39:00.001-09:00

These beastly things have been popping up at the shop, on Craigslist and, this one in particular was at the grocery store. Look close, no disc brakes, no vee brakes, no cantis. Nope, just a cheap ass Huffy coaster hub converted to allow for a second fixed cog. Hmm, I wonder what could possibly go wrong?

Let's just hope evolution puts an end to this sooner than later...

#tbif

This has to be the greatest video of all time

2014-11-21T04:57:00.001-09:00

Coda

2014-11-07T04:39:00.001-09:00

A little more ~~nostalgia~~ nausea for shitty parts

Not compatible with whose chains?

2014-11-05T18:34:00.003-09:00

They must have forgotten... oh I get it.

It URTs so good

2014-11-05T07:23:00.001-09:00

The fucking nostalgia that this brings and the nausea that follows...

Aluminum rims, the oft used coin of mechanics

2014-10-03T06:19:00.002-09:00

I recently rebuilt my rear wheel on my single speed. This was due to the fact that the rear rim had cracked and despite Pratt being able to run his rim for over a year after said crack, mine was worsening every time I rode it. So I called up the company from which they came and got me a crash replacement rim coming along with the spokes and nipples for said job. All of this cost me exactly three aluminum rims.

I break the cost down into the often used bike wrench coin of aluminum rims for a couple of reasons. Firstly, aluminum rims are the only real alternative to carbon. I mean, you could throw an old steel rim on your mountain bike just make sure not to hit anything and that you don't pump your tires up over 30 psi. You don't want the rim to flex too much and have the tire pop off. Secondly, the first thing any retrogrouch, hack of a mechanic will mention when you have a broken carbon rim is the fact that you should just build up aluminum. You know cuz it's cheaper, last longer and most importantly, it isn't carbon.

Read more.

Steel is real?

2014-02-18T19:16:00.001-09:00

2014-02-01T20:00:00.003-09:00

WTF is this? Thoughts...

JamAss

2014-01-18T05:56:00.001-09:00

What is this? It looks like the shitty ass finishing tape that comes with bar tape, but it's wrapped around the junction of carbon and aluminum. Not only here, but at the bottom of the seat stays as well. It's not only obvious that JamAss is hiding something, but the piss poor way of hiding it is a big disappointment.

This is it

2014-01-15T19:11:00.002-09:00

This is it. This is all we get. A ribbon of single track to put our fucking tires on, a small house with an unkempt yard, a drinking habit and hopefully a little time to ride. Fuck yea, it's worth it.

http://mooseknuckleralliance.org/2014/01/is-it-noble-or-sad/

Just cuz.

2014-01-10T06:37:00.002-09:00

The Internet Shit Train is no Place to get your Information

2013-12-11T06:48:00.002-09:00

If you haven't noticed, I like NOFX. I've been enjoying their music for a long time. Back when I resided in a dingy basement, I would sit and listen to Truck Stop Blues on cassette for hours. That was until I got a cd player and then I began to amass as many unheard-of bands that I possibly could.

At that time in SG, there was a little music store that also did piercings in the back. It was called the Underground. We would go in and peruse all the cds. Stuff we had never heard of, bands that sounded kind of cool. Their big thing was they didn't stock music from any big record labels. Hence, the underground moniker. The small group of friends that I had that were in to punk rock, we reveled in knowing or having music that no one else had ever heard. It was kind of a badge of honor to have a cd that was hard to find. I'm mean, who's ever heard of Link 80? Well, I still have their cd.

The Underground went out of business pretty quick.

This was the time when Punk was quickly becoming a household name. Bands like Offspring, Green Day and Rancid were selling records like hot cakes and you couldn't throw a studded bracelet without hitting someone who was listening to punk on their Discman. I can remember trying to get mosh pits started at church dances to the likes of Self Esteem and Welcome to Paradise. It was the time of the Great Sell Out.

Any band that got remotely popular or could even keep time could score a record deal and most of them did. What these punkers didn't take into consideration was that their appeal to the underground was that they weren't on the radio and people had no clue who they were. It was sort of like a reverse elitism. Find shifty music, claim it as your own, that you "found" it. And the first time you hear anyone else listening to them, throw the music away and tell everyone that "they totally sold out."

If you think about it, it's kind of a fucked up mentality to have. You hold something dear and when it becomes something great, you shit on it. Of course, this has a lot to do with the punk rock ethos, the DIY lifestyle, Nihilism, whatever the fuck you want to call it, it is what it is. I'm not gonna sit here and type out that bands don't sell out. I can't stand any Offspring album past Smash, and Smash is only somewhat bearable due to the teenage nostalgia. Their music changed. And it's hard to wonder what it would have been like if they weren't so widely accepted.

I cannot lie, in many ways, I subscribe to this ideology. Music does change when musicians suddenly have shit tons of money. When they are no longer worried about where their next meal comes from or if anyone is going to listen to their music. Cutting your teeth on desperation, it's hard to suddenly be able to switch to writing without it. And so we hate those who have made it.

Of course, there's the whole DIY part of it as well. Controlling the creative process from start to finish, is a big deal. And punk music is built on that foundation.

One of the reasons I love bikes so much, is the DIY ethos that tends to go along with them. Need to get to the store, pedal. You don't need some gas company to sell you something just to get around. It's the biggest middle finger you can give to the current system that has failed in so many different ways.

It's interesting that right along side that DIY ethos, the same elitism appears. Look at fixed gear bikes. They are the epitomy of DIY. They are simple, require almost no maintenance and as an added bonus, you can run them brakeless to get that "badguy" mojo going. These aren't new, they were around forever, actually since before freewheels, but as soon as they became popular they were hated along side their human counter parts, the hipster.

When it really comes down to it, it's about feeling special. Being elite because you are doing something different and then being pissed when everyone else thinks it's cool.

The tirade that will piss most of you off, continues here.

Here's how to service a Mavic freehub body

2013-11-25T16:39:00.000-09:00

Way back in January of 2012, I wrote a little ditty I called Six Things to Remember when Servicing a Mavic Freehub Body. I wrote it, posted it and didn't think much about it. Until the other day when I was running numbers on this website and realized that a shit ton of people are looking for advice on how to service a Mavic freehub body. The poor bastards are showing up here and all I had to offer was advice on what not to do. Not exactly what they were looking for.

This list goes on for a couple of pages and there are three in the top ten.

I found this quite interesting and did my own search for instructions on how to service a Mavic freehub body. The original version of the above linked post was on the front page. I also found that there were no good resources on that front page. No wonder they're showing up here. None of the other sites were worth a shit. Some dude even went so far as to make a video, I wasn't impressed.

So if you showed up here looking for some advice on what to do about your squealing Mavic wheels or why your chain bounces off your chain stay any time you get some speed, this is everything you need to know to take care of the problem. If you happen to own a set of Mavic wheels, they do require maintenance. They're pretty bomb proof until the bushing gets worn out and then, well you don't want to know what happens then.

Read the rest here.

Fuck 27.5 and all you fanboy trolls

2013-11-20T07:39:00.000-09:00

This post is NSFW, is TBIF and if you are easily offended by tire sizes you should not proceed. Or do, I don't really give a shit if I offend you.

This whole bull shit about a new tire size has my blood boiling. Not because I think a new tire size is unnecessary (which it totally is), but because of the shithead attitude of tire size trolls. You know who you are, you spend more time on MTBR forums and commenting on Bikerumor than you do actually riding bikes. You're the fuckwads who make it impossible for any semblance of an intelligent debate to take place on the internet. Just read the comments at the last site mentioned and you will see any mountain oriented article be drawn in to the never ending bull shit that is internet commentary because by the time you hit the third comment some dipshit has called out every other dip shit on tire size and it just goes down hill from there.

You are the same dipshits that ruined MTBR. I'm old enough to remember the beginnings of that site and the forums. Being totally into cycling, I was all getting signed up and commenting and getting rad on the new internet community for us dirt cyclists. After a few comments on people's genuine tech inquiries and the barrage of bull shit and hate that came after, I stopped existing in that format. What a bunch of fucking idiots. I hate to be the one to break it to you, but the tire that "everyone is riding and loving" in the Northwest is hardly the right tire for riding conditions in the desert. I know that's hard to wrap your little sophomoric mind around, but that's just the way it fucking is.

The rest of my rant is over here...

Anyone remember this shit?

2013-10-31T17:51:00.002-09:00

ScRAM

2013-10-28T17:41:00.000-09:00

I have a few of these left.

Get 'em here.

The newest of the new

2013-10-26T13:00:00.000-09:00

Oh yea, 9 speeds are better than 10 11.

For those of you who don't know what the hell I'm bantering about, that is the cassette from the S-Works Demo. It's a 9 speed 9-20...

Nothing new to see here, just more of the same.

2013-10-25T05:22:00.000-09:00

So I hopped on over to the place on the interwebs where all things Rumored about the Bike World are archived. The first thing to assault my vision was the above image. If you're anything like me, when your brain processed the above image, your balls sucked right up into your stomach. Not because of the obviously disgustingly ugly frame, but because of that saddle.

I could be wrong, I've only been doing this for about 18 years, but that saddle angle has been found to cause prostate cancer, at least in the state of California. And this may be the spot where, if you aren't a complete Bike Douchenerd© you stop reading, but seriously. You're going to display your $10,000 bike without consulting the small details? Do you expect me to think you have a fucking clue about what you are doing when the saddle couldn't coddle my backside unless I could kiss my own ass and getting to the hoods might cause some wrist pain? Seriously?

But that's not what I wanted to point out.

After my balls dropped back out of my chest because they realized I wouldn't be mounting this stead, I couldn't think that maybe this fiddle's already been played and it should have been left quiet.
For those of you still reading who aren't Bike Douchenerds©, this frame was designed several years ago and touted at Interbike for a few years. Granted the engineering involved is pretty awesome, but sometimes engineers lack one big thing, and that's the ability to apply real world scenarios. Above you have the second generation of a frame and there aren't any water bottle bosses. So you expect a roadie to drop $3500 on your DNA inspired frame and then wear a camel back? Yea, I don't see that happening.

Read more...

Cantis not Discs

2013-10-11T05:37:00.000-09:00

As cyclists, we quickly learn to suffer and to revel in it, bathe in the insanity of wanting your legs to burn and to fall asleep at the end of the day completely done. We have little catch phrases like, "It feels like burning!!!" that may or may not be yelled at the crest of any hill. Even if that means that you are now more out of breath and the burning just got intensified.

Cycling is about suffering.

Every person on a bike must learn to embrace that burn, embrace the fatigue to some extent. I don't care that you aren't a serious cyclist, if you ride a bike, you're pretty damn serious to me. You need to learn to suffer. Oh you just ride for exercise, well you aren't going to lose any weight until you feel that pain. "Serious racer dude" you aren't going to get any faster until you quick eating shit and make it hurt. The suffering is ingrained in cycling. It's why certain rides make my hands sweat and I wonder about my nutrition choices, in the same way that the Flying Monkey used to give me nightmares.

And for those that cared and asked, that is why there is a Making Cycling Difficult section of the Alliance blog. At some point, you may get bored as a cyclist. Sometimes it's called burn out, sometimes you just need a change. And there are other times when you have plateaued and it doesn't hurt any more. That burn that you felt the first 153 times up that hill has finally lessened. You don't drop the gears any more to hump the top or you don't scrub the speed right before you hit the lip of the jump and send it.

Sometimes you need a little nudge to bring back the hurt and make things interesting again.

I love cross bikes. I've made sure there was one in my revolving quiver since 2009. It has always been a singlespeed. And it has always had cantis. With the newest and the best coming out this year with discs on everything, I was forced to sit back and think about this fad. Do disc brakes offer a performance advantage? Absolutely, I don't think you can find someone that will argue the contrary, except that I am going to, right now.

The rest here.