This Blog Has A.D.D.

Spamming Or Advertising

2012-01-24T23:22:00.003-05:00

My blog has a face book. As well as a twitter. Or at least I have a twitter that is used to make horrible jokes/comments and promote my blog (OoooOOOoo a twofer!). But you can see that from the aptly named widgets on the left side of the screen. I don't have a lot of people for the face book and almost no one ever participates when I post things. Then again with face book's ever changing bullshit, perhaps something got screwed up and they can no longer see it.

I have pages that I have liked as both my personal profile and my blog's face book page. Sometimes I comment as myself and sometimes using the blog name. I have yet to be blocked by anyone and frankly, I'm not sure if you can block things from a like page. Maybe you can and I haven't paid attention to it, or am to dense right now to figure it out.

I don't intentionally spam these pages though. I legitimately comment when I have something to say or add and don't encourage people to like my page, I just happen to be commenting as my page. Also if I have nothing to say I'll simply like the status if it's something I like or agree on.

Sometimes I wonder if people view this as obnoxious though. It's not like it generates a lot of interests. At least I don't think so anyway. Either that or by the time I get to comment on something my comment is so far down the damn totem pole that no one sees it...or I comment on things that are 7 hours old when I'm checking on what pages have been saying or whatnot. I have no clue which it is.

What does anyone else think? Should I only comment on things as my personal profile or should I be OK commenting on updates as my like page if I'm not being obnoxious about it and am legitimately adding to the conversation?

Random Question 19:

If you had to choose, which would you give up?: Cable TV or Cable/DSL Internet?

Definitely the TV, I almost never watch it to begin with and what little I do watch I get either from the Internet or I watch episodes they have put On Demand. There's too much stupid shit on TV that I have no interest in watching. I can't wait until I get my own place, nothing but Netflix, seriously.

Everyone Needs A Hug Now And Then

2012-01-23T15:10:00.003-05:00

I was on Operation Nice's website and saw this. I think that's awesome. Even if it is virtual, the silliness of some of the people (and the compassion) coupled with the background music really brightens the day.

Much like the creator of Operation Nice, now I really want to make a hug video as well.

Random Question 18:

You are offered an envelope that you know contains 50 dollars. You are then told you can keep it or exchange it for another envelope that may contain 500 dollars or may be empty. Do you keep the first envelope or do you take your chances with the second?

I'd take my chances. 50 dollars is OK, but it's no big deal. Besides it's not your money, so if you decided to take the bigger prize and didn't get it, it's not like you really lost anything to begin with. Also, I'd just much rather have 500 dollars. That sum of money I can actually do something with; Pay bills, buy clothing, yadda yadda yadda.

I've Really Got To Catch This Carjacker

2012-01-23T00:44:00.003-05:00

Dear Car Thief,

So we meet again....in a manner of speaking of course. That is, unless you are a different car thief, in that case, Hello! It's somewhat of a pleasure to meet your acquaintance.

I noticed that you have stolen my GPS. Hopefully with this item now acquired you can find yourself a job where you can stop stealing, specifically from my car. I must compliment your good eyesight for the GPS was laying on the floor of the passenger side where not a lot of people would have noticed it. You also had the good sense to take the cord with you. Good for you! Now you can charge your illegally gotten good. However you did not take the base that it suction cups to, whatever will you do now? I hope the GPS sticks to your dash for it would be such a hassle to have it continuously fall down while driving.

You're a very lucky car thief, for you see I had just turned the GPS on to English for a change of pace. Usually it's in German, and unless you spoke it, you would not have known that you would of had to nehmen rampe rechts in drei meilen. Surely the fates are with you in your endeavors and Oh! How I envy thee!

I do have to thank you in that you were kind enough to leave my window in its half up position and you were not stupid, nor cruel, enough to push it all the way down inside the door in your effort to get to the door's lock, and let yourself in. You are truly a kind and compassionate person.

So please, do not worry about me. I will budget my money until I get enough money to buy another GPS as well as get this dratted window fixed. I wish you all the best in life because if you stoop to stealing from others, you probably need it.

Sincerely,
Addy DelaMorte

So as you can see from the title of the post my car got broken into again. Once again it was because of my stupid windows. I know what some of you who read my last post about this a year or so back are thinking; why didn't you ever get the window fixed? To which my reply is this. I did. And I paid another 200 some odd dollars to get the next window that decided to quit on me fixed.

It seems my windows are taking turns breaking every time one of them gets fixed. Personally I'm waiting for the drivers side to go next (knock on wood.). The really irksome thing of it is I can't do anything about it until the window decides to go off the track. My mechanic explained it to me like this (Excuse me if I get a tidbit or two wrong, he told me this a year ago): Most cars that have power windows (I had to get power everything didn't I?) have this sort of string that makes the window go up and down. When the window goes off the track you can just set it back on and it's fine. Because of the way my piece of shit car (Sorry Louise [Yes, I nicknamed it Louise, but it's proper name is Principessa Nicoletta. No I don't know why I gave my American car an Italian name and a redneck nickname.]) is made, my windows rest on these two plastic arms that move it up and down. When mine goes off the track, it's because they broke and the whole mechanism needs to be replaced. ....Yayyyyy... So there's where my hard earned money will be going in about a week or two. Thankfully the bag over the window has been keeping rain and snow out. Thankfully it hasn't snowed a lot (Once again, knock on wood.).

I would be more pissed off about the GPS, but really it's just more of an annoyance... besides being my fault. I really should have remembered to take it in, but it was on the floor, it was dark and I overlooked it. I wasn't using it at the moment, nor would be in the very near future. Also I had been planning on buying another one before October of this year. My current one was apparently in bad need of being updated but I had nothing to plug it into the computer with so it could be updated (I'm extremely sorry about that Car Thief, I hope this does not inconvenience you.). It's not that I mean to be extremely chilled about this, but with everything else that has been going on lately, this is the least of my worries.

Oh well, c'est la vie!

Random Question 17:

What food item would need to be removed from the market altogether in order for you to live a longer, healthier life?

Nachos and Slim Jims. I love those two things way too much. I can eat a bag of tortilla chips and a jar of that nacho cheese from the company I forget but love, in the course of a day. No lie. Also cheese in general.

25 Random Question Challenge Day 16

2012-01-21T20:24:00.002-05:00

Random Question 16:

If you had to have the same topping for your vanilla ice cream for the rest of your life, what would you choose?

First off, why would I be eating vanilla? I hate that flavor. But if I had to choose it would either be hot fudge or caramel. Fuck it, let's mix them both together.

On a related note, apparently Ben and Jerry's had some sort of create your own flavor contest. I have no clue how long ago that was, the website didn't say, so I may be hilariously late to the party. I would love to create my own B&J ice cream one day though. I'd call it 'Bats in the Belfry' and it would be a mocha ice cream with hot fudge swirls, little marshmallow moons and little peanut butter filled chocolate bats all mixed in.

Oh yeah, bet I just gave your tongue an orgasm at the thought didn't I?

I Got A Stiffy For A Stiff

2012-01-20T17:25:00.007-05:00

So this movie has been brought to my attention by a friend. I don't know what this obsession is with prettying up monsters. I don't understand it. They're monsters, let them be ugly....not saying that monsters can't be pretty of course (even though beauty is in the eye of the beholder in most of those cases.), but c'mon....they're zombies; you can only take it so far. I can just imagine zombies picketing with signs saying, "Put the Ugghhhhh back in Ugly!" "Nausea now! Beauty never!" "Maybe she was born with it, but maybe I ate your face!" OK, that last one didn't quite make sense....or maybe it did.

I won't lie, the premise sounds neat. If done correctly this could be good. I could see this being awesome if the makers of Shaun Of The Dead did this, or someone else who likes a lot of good tongue in cheek in their movies. But when I hear phrases like, "To fill the Twilight void for Twilight fans.", I feel the need to go to my happy place.

It's not like I don't know that zombies haven't been tried to be sexified before. But usually when people do things like that, it's always taken with some sort of grain of salt. We know what we're getting into. You grab onto a zombie prostitute's ass and you know you're getting a handful of cold, rotting, diseased flesh (much like a real prostitute.). There was always a sense of squick with it....and it was awesome. Shit got visceral. This I don't know about. It looks and sounds like he's less zombie and more ghoul...or idiot cannibal vampire.

On the plus side it does star John Malkovich.

Random Question 15:

How many times did it take you to pass your driving test?

Third time was the charm for me. The first time I fucked up on the parallel parking by getting stuck in this rocking back and forth motion with no way to fix it unless I pulled all the way out of the spot, which I couldn't. The second I forgot to put on my blinker when exiting the stupid test. Damn technicalities.

Boring Topics: 25 Random Question Challenge Day 14

2012-01-19T23:36:00.003-05:00

Random Question 14:

Everyone hears discussions that they consider boring. What topic can put you to sleep quicker than any other?

Celebrity gossip. I never could keep up with it and mostly don't care to. Unless, that is, it's about a celebrity I'm gaga over and even then it's, meh. Most gossip actually falls into this category for me. Politics as well, I find it somewhat hard to follow politics. I try to keep up, but I lag behind.

Catching Up On The Question Challenge

2012-01-19T01:56:00.004-05:00

I just realized I lost five days with this 25 random questions challenge. Bad me, I know.

I had something that I actually wanted to write about, but my mind is listless and lazy and I'm in some sort of foul mood that's apparently been malingering for the past day or two and has just now surfaced and won't go away. Was that a run on sentence or actual correct writing/grammar? I have no fucking clue and don't care.

I have been so meh about what I had promised to write. Apparently I just couldn't find it in me to write a short back story about a fictional character of an awesome story that I had renamed for some blog challenge. So let's just forget that I was supposed to write about Captain Hook and maybe it will resurface in a short time when I'm actually able to concentrate. I really can't concentrate, I don't know why. I try to do one thing and then I blank out and go do another completely different thing.

I stupidly asked my friend out about a week ago. I really shouldn't have, I should have listened to all my female friends when they said it would be a bad idea to date a friend and the friendship would never be the same. Of course, I didn't even get that far actually. I asked him over the phone if he thought of me the same way. His reply was really confusing to me but boiled down to 'no, sorry'. The whole situation is confusing to me still. We flirt like crazy and he grabs my boobs all the time and let's me hang all over him and feel him up. I once even sent a picture of my tits to him for his birthday and he liked it, or acted like it at least. Then I call him and apparently he only thinks of me as a friend?

My friends were right, it does change the relationship. Although not on his side, bless him, he's still a sweetheart. I told him that if he didn't like me we could pretend the whole conversation never happened. I knew I should have messaged or e-mailed him instead. It has less of an impact than a verbal conversation.

I thought I'd be fine with a rejection but for some reason I feel like punching him in the head. I'm not very sad, more angry than anything. Probably for all the years that I've apparently been led on. Lesson learned ladies and gents, never listen to friends who say another friend confessed to liking you in that way while drunk. It was probably a load of shit.

I don't think I can be around him or talk to him. I deleted him off my phone out of annoyance and would delete him from my Face Book, but I think that would be kind of awkward. Plus I believe I just need to let the anger run its course and I'll be fine. I just don't think I can go drinking with my friends if he's with them for a bit though. It's the little things about him that are annoying me. Like how he randomly commented on slightly old and stupid status updates on my Face Book two days after our phone conversation. I want to go up to him and say, "Hey PJ, it's great that we can stay friends and all after all that but can you do me a favor and not fucking touch me anymore or flirt with me, because you send mixed signals and that shit tends to cause problems. You're so smart, you're stupid. Seriously." Also I've had a crush on this guy for 12 years. That probably has something to do with it as well.

I think I'm angry because I believed I had a chance to be with someone that would make me happy and end my pattern of fucked up relationships. To be with someone that would truly get me.

I need a clone of myself to be satisfied in a relationship. I really believe that and I can't wait until they can make people clones. Sometimes I think I'll always be alone in part because I sometimes think that I'm too screwed up for someone to stay with me. Not to mention that there's so many things that people do that disgust me to my core and are deal breakers. I don't think I'll ever find someone that's a truly good and nice person. I think they've all been snatched up and all that's left is rotten fruit. Or maybe it's just the people living in Baltimore.

Sometimes I can't figure out if I'm picky or just have a low tolerance for bullshit. Then I settle on some sort of middle ground between the two, which is probably the most correct answer.

Oh well, c'est la vie. If I believed in using symbols in blog entries I'd put a 'tongue sticking out face' at the end of that.

Well now that I've finally gotten that out of my system maybe I'll be able to concentrate better. Moving on, I believe it's five questions that I have missed so here we go.

Random Question 9:

How long was it from the 'first date' until the proposal of marriage? How long until the wedding?

You know what? Fuck you.

Random Question 10:

Which is worse, being in a place that is too loud, or too quiet?

Too loud. I can deal with quietness. If a place is too quiet I'll make my own noise or turn on a radio. I can't deal with a place that is too loud sometimes. It can set me into a state of agitation.

Random Question 11:

What is one quality that you really appreciate in a person?

I was going to say loyalty, but I think it's definitely honesty. I like relationships with no holds barred honesty (not to be confused with being a dick, which is what some people do.). If you're that honest with each other than loyalty comes naturally and you don't have to worry about it.

Random Question 12:

At the good old general store, what type of candy would you usually expect to find on a big jar on the counter.

Some sort of butterscotch candy. I love butterscotch candy...and caramels. They're my favorites. Or peppermints.

Random Question 13:

What is the most distinguishing landmark in your city?

I don't really know. I'm going to guess possibly the inner harbor? Or it could be Poe's grave site, or his house. Which by the way is still open according to the website. Awesome and good for them!

Superstar Dance And Random Question Day 8

2012-01-13T21:35:00.003-05:00

I was supposed to write about Captain Hook (No, wait, I'm sorry, Captain Clifford Theodore Reginald III Esquire.) and his back story. But some stuff came up and I never got to do it. So while I work on that for tomorrow, here is an entertaining clip of some kids recreating the cafeteria dance scene from 'Superstar'.

Random Question 8:

Rock, Paper or Scissors?

Spock! Actually if I'm not goofing around and throwing Spock or Lava or Glue (Among others. Tsunami tends to annoy people right off the bat. Apparently acts of God are not allowed in Rock, Paper, Scissors.), I almost always throw scissors right off the bat.

Crap, now I'm never going to win another game ever again.

Is Anyone Ever Ready?

2012-01-12T16:52:00.004-05:00

Ever since I got my Kindle, I've been noticing that a lot of aspiring authors put their short stories on Amazon for either a dollar or free. It's usually under three dollars, give or take, and is a pretty smart idea. Especially in regards to feed back, attracting people to their blog link/website in some of their author bios and getting your work out there on a grander scale. Some you obviously get what you pay for but others are really awesome stories on the cheap.

I've been thinking of doing this, just putting some short stories on amazon for free. Or possibly a dollar, hell, why not. But I'm not sure. Every time I go to do something like this: Create an Amazon seller account, submit a piece of work to somewhere other than this blog or whatnot I keep chickening out. There's this little voice inside my head that keeps whispering, "We're not ready yet. We need more practice!"

I honestly don't know whether or not to listen to it or if it's holding me back. I know some of the short stories I've put on here have been hit or miss. That's not me being a sad sack about it, it's just a fact. Like the short story I wrote 'It Passed Us'. To me I view it as a slight miss. To be honest I don't believe it works as a short story at all. There's too many questions it leaves to be answered, too many things that can be done with it, not enough dialogue in some places, too much in others. Also the pacing is a bit too quick. That short story is the epitome of an awkward teenager. I'm not going to deny that it has it's merits and good points, truth be told I'm working on revising it as a novel or novella. Something for it to reach its potential as a story.

But there are others that I think are hits and I am proud of writing, yet I still think I shouldn't put them out there. I still think I should wait. Which makes me wonder, what the fuck am I waiting for?

Is anyone ever truly ready? To get good you have to put yourself out there continuously. Even famous comedians have bombed ridiculously when they first started out. They made horrible jokes and mistakes on stage, but they kept going back. Practice makes perfect indeed. Also feedback is a good thing. Even if the person drives past Constructive Criticism Valley and right into Asshole Town when reviewing your work, you can always learn from it while taking their insults with a grain of salt.

I mean hell, I bet even Stephen King thinks this to himself sometimes (I'll wait for your laughter to cease.). OK, maybe not, but you know what I mean. Like Tallahassee said, you have to nut up or shut up. If I'm serious about writing, which I am, I'll have to thrust myself in it headlong. I have to make mistakes and tell my anxieties to shut the hell up.

Perhaps I'll shut up for a couple more days before I nut up.

Random Question 7:

What do you think Captain Hook's name was before he had a hook for a hand?

Captain Clifford Theodore Reginald III Esquire.

Perhaps next post we'll delve into Captain Clifford 'Hook' Theodore Reginald III Esquire's background.

Late Christmases And Zebra Tigers

2012-01-11T07:43:00.004-05:00

I was bored at work last night so I did this:

I have no clue what animal pattern that is. I can't decide if that is zebraesque or "I'm the tiger that mauled Roy"...esque. And if the pattern is obvious to you, I didn't get to sleep last night because I worked an overnight shift, so my brain is not quite computing at the moment.

Moving on...

My love of Jaret Reddick and Bowling For Soup has been documented on this blog in the past. So when I heard from his tweets that he was working on a new album with his other band he made named Jarinus and they had a kickstarter to fund the CD, I checked it out. I am loving kickstarter by the way. I think it's such a neat website.

I decided to fund it by a...umm....good amount. They have seriously nice perks for their backers, how could I have said no? And, because I didn't have much money at Christmas time for the people I was actually going to buy gifts for, I decided to give up the chance at a half hour skype chat with Jaret to my friend JessJess. Merry Christmas JessJess. I don't think she believes me though. I randomly IMed her and asked her if she could hold her shit during a chat with a celebrity for a half hour. When she tentatively said yes and asked why, I told her I was going to get her to "meet" with Jaret. She then laughed and called me crazy and kind of changed the subject.

That will be the last time I tell people what their presents are ahead of time. Really it was my fault. But we'll see whose crazy in a couple of months! Now I just have to figure out what to get all these other yabbos for their late Christmas.

But seriously, even though Jarinus is over funded you people reading this should go and back them. You have 13 days and then no more rewards for you poor bastards. Or at least go to their page and give their demo a listen. Their song 'DVB' is hilarious.

Random Question 6:

Which do you dislike more: Pop up ads or spam e-mail?

Pop up ads indefinitely. Spam I can deal with. So little of it actually gets past my filters and it usually stays put in it's little folder until I can delete it. But pop up ads. They're like flashers with tiny penises...but on the Internet. And sometimes they make my computer lag and I can't figure out why until, oh look at that, a pop up ad.

Random Question Challenge Day 5

2012-01-10T15:04:00.004-05:00

I went out last Friday to Buffalo Wild Wings to go drinking with my friends and finally decided to order some actual wings. My friend talked me into ordering them with their blazing sauce; because if you're going to eat a hot wing, eat the ones that will make sure your stomach boils like lava afterwards. I had the sauce come on the side because I'm not stupid...also because I'm a bit of a pussy, or so says my friend.

They are hot, a bit like S & M for your mouth, but in retrospect not as hot as I thought they were. I took the rest of my sauce and wings home and put the sauce on my breakfast spaghetti the next morning, because it's fucking delicious. My sister hates it because she's an even worse pussy than I am.

Sadly the little cup of sauce is now gone, but oh joyous of joys they sell the shit! I honestly don't give a damn what other sauces they have because now for about 5 dollars I can hot sauce the shit out of everything like some crazy person who has a death wish for their taste buds. I wonder if you can increase your tolerance for hot things if you eat enough of this stuff.

Random Question 5:

What is your concession stand must have at the movies?

Milk Duds or Gummy Bears all the way. Fuck your popcorn!

Are You Not Entertained?

2012-01-09T11:52:00.002-05:00

I don't really like entertaining people.

Actually, considering the career I am working towards, let me clarify that statement. I don't always like being the 'funny friend'. When I was a kid I had no problems with my place as the 'funny/crazy one' in my group of friends. I never had any troubles living up to my expectations as class clown.

I don't really feel that way anymore. Maybe it's my age, or maybe it's the people I work with. Nobody seems to be self entertaining anymore. Last night I had to work with two people who are like that. On this rare occasion one of them was reading a book and wanted to be left alone, but the other one was not. It's not that I don't like my other co-worker, I do. I just can't help but like her, and I don't know why. Part of it may have to do with the fact that I have a bit of a crush on her (Damn you straight women with boyfriends!); but she seems to need to be constantly entertained. In fact that is what she asks of me when we work together and she gets too bored, "Addyyyyy, entertain me, this place sucks!" And a majority of the time I will happily oblige her in conversation or jokes, or what have you.

I have noticed though that if one does not entertain said co workers sufficiently one is met with a chorus of "Addyyyy, you're boring. Haha. Stop being so quiet."

I never understood people that needed others to talk to. Not saying that I don't need to talk to people every now and then and that I don't crave company at times as well. Both of these co-workers are not only children and I think this has a bit to do with it.

For most of my childhood I was an only child. I also didn't have a lot of friends at times, so if someone couldn't come out to play or had to go home or go somewhere, I had to find a way to occupy myself. This happened a lot. There were countless times I would gather up my imaginary friends to play a game of cards in my room, or Hungry Hungry Hippos, Scrabble, whatever. I also had a habit of playing hide and seek by myself as well sometimes. Or I would read a book, watch a movie, or just put on one of my long skirts that twirled when you spun around the way that girls love and dance to a Madonna record. Point being, you do what you have to do so that you wouldn't get bored.

My co-workers, and some friends, do not seem to understand that I am not reliable for 24/7 entertainment. I can go through a chatty phase and talk my head off to you for three hours straight. Just as quickly as I did that I can get very quiet and fixated on something else other than you. Like my phone, a book, or a sketch/piece of literature I'm working on. Sometimes I just get very oddly quiet because I'm stuck in my own head in a moment of introspection. I can't help it, it's just something I do. I get lost in that world above my eyebrows sometimes and there really is no way of knowing when I'll find my way back. Also, if we don't know each other well...I'm kind of awkward.

It is at that moment where the annoyance comes into play. At first by someone else, and than by me. I hear this a lot, "Why are you so quiet? Is something wrong? Did I say something bad? Are you angry or sad?" Nope, just reading or not talking...or being quiet. These answers do not always suffice; then the person either repeats their query over and over again every couple of minutes until I sighingly (Shut up, it's a word, I made it up but it's a word.) put down my book or object, or force myself into the real world long enough to hold a conversation. Or they think I'm ignoring them and being rude in some fashion.

And I feel horrible because it's not necessarily that I don't want to talk to you (Although, let's be honest, sometimes that's true.) I just don't always have the capacity to do so. When I get into my quiet moments sometimes I lose the ability to have a conversation with someone because I'm so preoccupied. Taking away my object of preoccupation does not end the preoccupation because now I'm thinking about anything other than what we're talking about. People really need to learn how to entertain themselves.

And if you're friends with the 'funny girl' or the 'crazy girl' read this, and know that sometimes us class clowns need downtime as well. If you have a wind up toy and you continuously wind it up day in and day out, the mechanism will break. Give your toy a rest. Sometimes, as odd as it may seem, we just aren't in the mood to make you happy like you're some Roman emperor. It's a give and take.

Random Question 4:

It's your first day of vacation, what are you doing?

I'm probably sleeping or lazing around in the hotel room. Maybe watch some TV while drinking a beer or reading a book. Listening to some music. Or just sitting and enjoying the silence.

Between work and home and Girl Scouts, there really isn't a lot of quiet time in my life. There's always some noise, someone yelling at someone, siblings running around and being loud. My stepfather watching TV and thinking that either the football team or O'Reilly can hear him. When I take my vacation this October that is the first thing I will do. I am not going to leave that hotel room unless I have to, I am going to be completely quiet and sleep in all day and enjoy the silence and enjoy being alone. Completely alone with a buffer zone of at least 500 miles between me and my family and work.

Lunch With El Presidente: 25 Random Questions Challenge Day 3

2012-01-08T08:50:00.001-05:00

Random Question 3:

You are chosen to have lunch with the President. The condition is you only get to ask one question. What do you ask?

Are you paying for this or am I?

I'm going to assume that light chit chat is not included in the one question rule so I can talk to him as much as I damn well please.

I am not a very political person. Or perhaps I am and I just don't feel like I am, but politics sometimes confuse me. There's just so many layers to it and then you have people and the media lying about shit and hiding other shit because Gods forbid anyone ever just put their shit out on the table.

If I had to or could ask a political question I'm afraid it would just devolve into me slamming a globe on the lunch table and gesturing wildly all around it with my hand while saying, "THIS! Explain all of this shit to me. And explain it preferably under a two hour mark or else we might have to order again and then I'm definitely not paying for it."

The Sitcom Hypothesis

2012-01-07T13:09:00.005-05:00

I swear I will be constantly behind the times no matter what I do. My friend loves The Big Bang Theory. I've seen clips and episodes here and there, but I've never actually watched it consecutively. From what little I saw I liked and I need something to watch on Saturdays when I do the overnight shift at work.

So having downloaded all the seasons and watched half of season one, I'm not sure anymore if I like The Big Bang Theory or not. I'll definitely have to watch the rest of the season before I come to a conclusion on this, but right now I feel like it almost tries too hard and relies on exaggerated stereotypes with a few comic book/video game jokes thrown in for cheap laughs.

It's only saving grace for me is Howard and Sheldon. And I'm now pretty sure by now that the latter of the two has some form of Aspergers or socially inept savantism. I'd still bang him either way, but that's besides the point.

I think part of it might be the laugh track for me. A good couple of times, more than I'd like to admit, while watching I don't feel like I'm that in on the joke. They say something nerdy and I either find it fascinating and want to know more (Thank you BBT, I now know what the Doppler Effect is), agree or just plain don't find it funny because it's not something that is a joke.

I can't remember which episode it was, maybe 'The Lobenfeld Decay', but they're talking about the logistics of The Terminator and its sequels and how they don't fit, or something like that. The audience doesn't laugh. OK, I get why they're not laughing and I agree. The Terminator is an awesome action movie that has embedded itself into pop culture and everyone likes it...so maybe the audience is actually following along and wants to hear how this plays out. For some of my friends and I, conversations like this are kind of typical. More focused on anime and video games at the moment, but still. Sheldon gives his side of the argument and prefaces it with a 'riddle me this' and the audience...laughs?

I don't understand why that would get a laugh from people. Is it because he quoted a Batman villain and Batman is for dorky people and only they do that? Is that the thinking behind it? Because I've used that quote plenty of times. It's not a joke, it's just something you say sometimes before you're about to ask someone a question. Did it really warrant being singled out as a joke in and of itself?

Also, the whole Penny/Leonard ship is one of my problems with the show. For me it kind of seemed like they wanted them to get with each other so badly, that they're smashing the relationship together too fast. Personally, I just think the relationship development and dynamics should go a bit slower than they are. You're supposed to open the door to the possibility of a relationship even if you know for sure that they're going to get together in the end, not throw it out a plate glass window. But that could just be a side effect of the fact that it's sometimes hard to keep track of how long something has been in a TV show, as in the number of days or weeks that have passed while watching a single episode. They may have known each other longer than I realize.

I'm not trying to say that the show is shit, I don't think it is, I just don't know what I think of it. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a conclusion to make.

Random Question 2:
What are your choice of toppings on a hamburger? And do you prefer gas or charcoal grilling?
I feel like I should start singing that verse from 'Cheeseburger in Paradise'. Lettuce, tomato, cheese, onion and either mayo or ketchup and mustard. I like my pickles on the side mostly. I love charcoal grilled food. That reminds me, I have to schedule a get together with my Jessica s...for when it's warmer. I love cookouts, but I'm not too keen on them in January.

This New Year Smells Like A Used Car

2012-01-06T16:29:00.005-05:00

I hope everyone had a fantabulous New Year. The beginning of the year always gets me thinking about things like resolutions. While it's so easy to decry them because of their low turnout rate, I think I believe in them a tidbit more than I say I do. Plus, with everyone making resolutions left and right and talking about them, it does give one a jump on ideas for things they have been wanting to change but didn't give time to think about.

I have been mulling over in my mind the past couple of days things I want to do with the blog (See, I wasn't' slacking off those past two weeks....OK I was slacking off). I've moved the radio player to the top, where you can easily see it and turn it off. It occurred to me that people might not have known it was at the bottom of the page and it's really annoying to try and find it to turn it off for whatever reason you have.

Design issues aside, I really want to start doing writing challenges and just write more in general. I'll admit I have been kind of slacky last year with writing stories and posts. Sometimes it's just hard though. I'll sit down to write and it's like my mind goes a mile a minute to the point where my ideas and inspiration halt to a standstill. It's very frustrating. Once I get started it sort of goes away, but it's so hard to get started. I love the idea of blog challenges and writing prompts, if for nothing than to give me more practice. And I can always use practice.

Starting today I'm going to do a 25 random question writing challenge from a questionnaire I did for an e-mail thing I was in. I also have come up with (with input and writing prompts from friends as well) a blog challenge for February. I couldn't find any suitable ones so I came up with my own and aptly titled it 29 Days Of Sex. It actually deals with more than just sex. Love, relationships and all that jazz, but the title fits more than any other one I tried to come up with.

I also have a huge list of blog post ideas that I need to get through. Some of them I haven't written because they're stories of stuff I did as a kid and I feel odd just writing about it without some sort of segue. Considering that the blog's name is 'This Blog Has ADD' you wouldn't think that awkwardness would be there but it is. For some reason I just feel the need to segue into the post. It kind of reminds me of that quote from Mary Katherine from Superstar: "There are two ways to get into the water. First you take your toe and you gently test the water’s temperature, and if that feels okay, then you slowly get in, letting your body adjust to the cold. Then there’s this way- you JUMP!"

It seems I do not know how to jump. I also got preoccupied with other posts that take precedence.

I am determined that this year will be my 'Summer of George'. I don't know about anyone else but last year sucked so many penises I lost count. So here's to new beginnings, and hoping we all survive the Mayan Apocalypse come December.

Also, here is a picture I drew of Kurt Cobain that I finally got the guts to share. It's OK, I did this a couple of months ago, and as always my caveat is that I haven't drawn in a while.

Random Question 1:
If you were to attend a costume party tonight, what or whom would you go as?
I would definitely go as Divine from Pink Flamingos or a mermaid. I don't know how to do a beehive ( I know, I'm a bad Baltimoreon) though, so I'd probably have to buy a wig.

Six More Days 'Til The Holly King

2011-12-19T22:25:00.004-05:00

Well, actually since Yule is tomorrow, it's really one more day and yes I know I'm talking about Christmas in Pagan terms...shut up and roll with it. I absolutely forgot what the fuck I was originally going to blog about. I know it had to tie into holiday consumerism but, oh well. Instead since I have no true topic, I'm just going to list random thoughts that I've been pondering and have popped into my head. Hopefully you've been thinking of these as well so I'll feel like less of a freak.

What do blind people see?
Alright, I know what you're thinking, "Addy, that's so stupid, they're blind obviously they don't see anything." But how do you know? I know they can't see like we do, but do you think they see a color, or just blackness? They wouldn't be able to tell us because they can't see.

Think of what I'm asking this way. Say you were blind and all you saw was the color red. Obviously because you're blind, you're not seeing jack shit except for this color, but you don't know you're seeing the color red because you've never seen it in context. As in, this is an apple, it is red; this is a tree it is not...except when it's fall. So you're seeing a color you just don't know it and can't say, "yes I am definitely seeing a shit load of red." Instead you say, "I can't see I'm blind, duh."

Do you think having a regenerating mermaid as an owner is a cat's biggest fantasy?
I mean really, a big fish that will let you eat them with arms to give you pettings. Oh and there's always more fish because the tail regenerates itself. Pretty good deal if you ask me.

Say you were in an anime and were fighting someone that used sound based attacks and powers. If they sounded like Cyndi Lauper, would you be more or less scared?
I honestly don't know my own answer to this one. I mean I love me some Lauper, but what if she was really into psychological torture and made you listen to an alternating set of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun and She-Bop for like 5 hours.

Is anyone, other than I, really fucking jealous that Jenna Marbles came up with this shit first?

Also I now feel bad for saying Hon'. But in my defense I'm from Baltimore...if you're born here you kind of don't have a choice. Especially if you're from Hampden. I also think this would be a good formula for insults if you went to the negative side of the adjectives. Sweaty-pizza-unicorn sounds like something you'd call a greasy gay gym goer who was full of himself and possibly Italian.

Double wide trailers are like legos for rednecks.
No seriously. I just learned that you have to snap them together and then they just put siding around it. Although as dubious as that sounds, I'd still have to go with a double wide over a single trailer any day. I've been in single trailers before and almost all of them have a floor that is ready to meet the ground at some point.

When are they going to come out with a triple wide?
So if double wides are like the condos of the trailer park, then a triple wide would be like the fucking mansion, right? You'd be like Richie Rich if he were white trash. You could have two lawn sprinklers! Maybe your property would be so big you could talk your significant other into letting you own a riding mower. Albeit a smaller version of one. Shit would be crazy.

Joking aside, I honestly wouldn't mind this because I happen to like double wides.

Does anyone else have trouble getting their nail polish to stay?
I just painted my nails all cute and shit because I'm actually getting into the spirit of Yule/Christmas/Whatever stupid winter season you do or do not celebrate. Thought I'd be all fancy and doll them up a sparkly red with glittery green tips and a little Christmas tree I painted on the ring finger. I did this Saturday. It is now Monday and half the nails have chips and I'm going to have to do it all over again.

I even went the extra mile and used that diamond strength polish that is supposed to make your nails stronger as a top coat. Nothing. It doesn't matter what top coat I've used or not used. So what I'm asking is which one of you chicks out there that actually reads my blog has the magic top coat I haven't used yet? Are there any Korean nail salon owners out there? Because if I get my nails professionally done, it doesn't happen. What the hell is that about?

Does anyone else get the incredible urge to not brush their teeth for a day and then lick Howie Mandel's face?
I have nothing against Mr.Mandel. He's the most awesome germaphobe I know of and brought me tons of joy in my childhood as the voice of Bobby from Bobby's World and as this dude from Little Monsters.

I absolutely loved Maurice. I always thought that Fred Savage's character made the wrong choice. I would have stayed with my blue buddy....and found the underneath of David Bowie's bed while I was there.

But whenever I see a picture of him, or see him on TV, I kind of want someone to go up to him and pretend to sneeze into their hands and then force him to shake their hand. I have no clue why. Maybe it's the asshole in me, I just would love to see him freak out. It's like if I meet someone that has a thing about everything being nice and straight, I always want to take one of their meticulously lined up things and slant it when they're not looking. I don't know what's wrong with me.

Alright my shiny-twizzler-puppies! I'll see you bitches later. Also sorry if my paragraphs are two tones, my computer is being stupid in conjunction with Blogger and it looks like some paragraphs are black and other's are grey in the preview section.

Art Cars And Moral High Grounds

2011-12-10T01:46:00.006-05:00

I went to Trader Joe's this afternoon. I have really got to remember to stop going places on Fridays...and during Christmas shopping days. It took me almost an hour to find a spot to park, mainly because I'm a pussy about taking parking spots. "Hey! I've been waiting here for that spot and you're just going to take it!...Oh then...OK..."

Finally got my jar of coconut oil. I cannot wait to use it. Mainly because my 10 dollar hair pomade has been used up and this is way cheaper and much nicer smelling. Yes, you read that right, I shall not be cooking with this...well maybe I will actually...but for all the curly headed peeps out there, coconut oil is so good for keeping down frizz and making hair manageable and soft. I've always wanted to try it and then forgot about it until my friend JessJess bought it for the same reason.

I also learned how Brussels sprouts grow today.

The general consensus among my siblings is that is looks like a bunch of weird grapes.

On my way out I saw my first art car. It was parked next to me and at first I thought that someone had just gotten their car trashed by assholes with spray paint. Then I noticed it was the whole car and deliberate.

And the side view:

I actually think it looks pretty neat. I wish I could have met the car's owner to find out if it was for some sort of college project or what.

A couple of days ago I tweeted that I accidentally went full retard on someone. They wrote a post about how you can't be moral and be against gay marriage at the same time. For some reason I felt the need to ask this person out of "internet courtesy" to put it on my blog and offered to link to them if they had a site and wanted me to. Then I woke up the next day and realized why I should probably start going to bed sometime before 4am. But at least my idiocy was polite...I was a gentleman's retard if you will.

He titled it:
No, I'm Sorry, You Don't Get To Take A Stance Against Gay Rights And Consider Yourself A Good Person.

"There are so many people out there who "Voted yes on 8" or "Believe in the Sanctity of Marriage" but are otherwise considered "moral" people. They are kind, they help others, They are good to their friends and family, but they believe that gays shouldn't have equal rights. We see this so commonly in neighbors, friends, and co-workers, and I've heard it all, from "Oh but he's a great guy," to, "No, it's just the way she was raised."

I couldn't GIVE A FUCK.

For those of us on the correct side of this fence, fair and equal rights for gays is something that is SO OBVIOUSLY the right thing to do, it's difficult for us to even comprehend the layers of bigotry that are required to demean and insult a fellow moral human being so completely and thoroughly. It's something that I find difficult to put into words, but as a straight male quite heavily surrounded in the gay community, it is one of the issues I am most passionate about. By saying you are against gay marriage, you are saying that you think your stupid title will somehow mean more if you tell others they don't have the right to have it. If I want a fucking pizza, and I don't want pepperoni, I order a pizza without pepperoni, but I don't try to BAN pepperoni because it's "not my thing."

This is something that I think people hear about and if the rest of some one's moral character checks out, their willing to sweep the "anti-gay" thing under the rug. Well enough is enough. When you are voting no on gay rights you are sending a message of hatred that says the person that this person loves is wrong, incorrect, unnatural. YOU are the reason so many teens contemplate suicide, and YOU are taking part in the ignorant social devolution of mankind. I don't care who you are and I don't care about your reasons for your stance, it's wrong, it's obviously insulting and inhuman, and you should be ashamed to think that you can live your life knowing your condemning a lifestyle that you couldn't even begin to understand.

Homophobia and I have a zero tolerance policy, due partially to the fact that I went through a youth of minor religious homophobia. I never gay bashed or thought gays shouldn't have equal rights, but I did think the practice was wrong. It is to this day one of the periods of my life I'm most ashamed of. To imagine that I thought my fellow person was lesser because of who they love is horrible.

It's time we stopped giving this issue a free pass and call it what it is, pure, inane, childish, ignorant bigotry. Sorry if this came off as strong, but as a passionate person living in a conservative town, (When I'm at home. When I'm at college I live in Mt. Vernon, a gay district, and it's simply lovely) It's something that has really got to me. I don't give a fuck about your convictions, your excuses, or your misinformed defenses, you are being ignorant and insulting, and should feel ashamed of yourself."

Even though I personally do not fully agree with his opinion, I love this post for the questions and potential discussions that it brings up. Can you be against gay rights, which is a civil rights issue, and still consider yourself a good or moral person?

I actually think you can. Not all people who are against giving gays the right to marry hate gays, or have a problem with them. To some of them it goes against their religious beliefs. Case in point, I have a family member on the step side. All of these people are Catholics and said family member doesn't believe in gay marriage. Actually I don't believe a lot of people on the step side believe in gay marriage. She is a wonderful person in all other aspects. Great mother, friendly, she doesn't bash gays or anything like that; she just doesn't believe they should be able to get married.

I think it is too easy to try and villianize the people that are against us and cry homophobia at every turn where, in some cases, I believe it just doesn't apply. Even though it constantly boggles my mind and makes no sense to be against something that so obviously should be available, it doesn't automatically make you a bad person in my eyes.

Uneducated, maybe. More than a little fucking stupid, yes. A hypocrite if you think blacks or any other minority should have equal rights except for queers, definitely. But a bad person? Perhaps not.

I think this post also brings up to question, can any of us claim the moral high ground ever?

When I wrote a reply stating that while I understood the poster's anger, I thought he was looking at things too simply. Life is not so black and white, instead it is very, very nauseatingly shitty shades of grey. Of course I was mainly lambasted for this opinion. One person told me that it was black and white and not a grey area like abortion.

But is it? There is no doubt in my mind that someone who is vehemently against abortion could write a similar post ("No! You can not kill babies and still think of yourself as a good or moral person!"). To some pro-lifers it is very black and white and there are no grey areas. So too could someone that is vegan claim the same about someone that does eat meat. There are too many variations of this based on our belief systems and opinions on certain subjects and I'm not going to delve into all of them; but you get my point.

So what do you think? Can you be against marriage equality and still be considered a good person?

Signing Away Your Rights At The Dental Office

2011-12-05T03:43:00.003-05:00

I was looking around on the internet when this article caught my eye.

Patient Sues Dentist Who Threatened Legal Action Over Yelp Reviews

Firstly, I didn't even know that medical practitioners could ask you to sign such a waiver. This will make me look twice before I sign things. Secondly, I do have to ask what the man was thinking blasting her on Yelp after signing that waiver. Did he forget what he signed?

Do not get me wrong, I am not lambasting Mr.Lee and applauding Dr.Makhnevich. Nor is it the other way around. I do not agree you should have to sign contracts like these to be able to receive medical care....nor do I agree they should exist either. If you are a shitty or shady doctor, then people definitely have the right to know how crappy you are.

But is it right to willingly and knowingly sign away your right (or at least part of it) to freedom of speech, and then sue the practitioner because they are violating your freedom of speech that you gave up to begin with? I guess hindsight will always be 20/20 in the end. How funny that sometimes we don't know what exactly we are giving up until it's gone.

If it was me, I never would have signed the paper to begin with. There are plenty of other dentists that could use my money; many of whom don't seem so shady (I would consider that a red flag if they don't want you to talk about it afterwards. How bad are you? What are you trying to hide?). Maybe after more of her patients did that, then Dr.Makhnevich would have changed her tune, and stopped using those waivers.

Be careful what those doctors have you sign people.

PS: Is it just me, or is it weird that some of the articles online are focusing on her singing career? Anything for a song based play of words or pun, huh writers?

More reading: Clinician Sued For Enforcing Contract On Online Reviews

Zombie Survival Letters

2011-11-28T01:52:00.010-05:00

I hope everyone had a better Thanksgiving than I did. I spent mine eating dinner at Denny's and listening all weekend to the details of the fight my Grandma is having with her daughter, my Aunt. Then I come back to work and have to hear about some stupid fight between two co workers that has been apparently raging on since last week. I actually heard one of them say, while complaining because some people (I included, but she doesn't know that) went to our supervisor about her behavior, "Where I come from, it's snitches get stitches. But if you're going to go and snitch on me, you can bet I'm going to go and snitch on your first before you can." Of all the juvenile, ghetto things I've ever heard, this has to be top ...6 at least. We work in a business, not on the fucking street, act at least a little classy and professional.

So many things to face-palm at, so little fucking time to do it. I honestly feel like I spend so much of my time throwing up my hands and backing up going, "I don't care. This is your problem not mine, I'm going to stay out of it as much as possible because I don't care enough to get involved and have a true biased opinion."

Sorry for that mini rant. Just had to get the annoyances out. Now onto more entertaining things.

A few weeks back I entered a creative writing swap/project/...thing. You had to write to your partner as if you were surviving a zombie apocalypse and had gotten split up from them. It was a very neat project; especially since you were encouraged to 'decorate' your letter to match what happened in the letter, or the theme of the writing prompt. So without much ado and because I'm pretty horrible at segues, here are my two letters I sent out, and the two I received. Hope you enjoy reading what I enjoyed writing...and reading.

The first letter I tried to keep serious. I put red dye on my hands and left hand prints as if I had actually been injured and in a rush to write to my partner, and unable to clean the blood off of my hands.

Hey Becky!
Don't mind the blood, paper is scarce where we are and we've managed to stop the bleeding for the most part. Don't worry, none of the blood is from the infected, and I'm not bit either.

Actually we had a run in with looters. We saved most of our stuff. Food mostly, but they got away with some water, cleaning supplies and two med kits.

I am so glad you're at a safe house, how is it holding over there? Listen, in your last letter you were making plans to come to us...DON'T!

The looters are getting crazy, there's very few supplies and the zombies are even braver than the looters. At first they were afraid of our guns, some residual primal fear I guess....they have quickly gotten over that.

I'm trying to get the others to leave with me, I'm heading over to you. Some don't want to go; mainly residents who've lived here forever and a day. Hopefully I'll find an even better safe house you can make your way to on my way.

Catch ya on the flipside,
Addy DelaMorte

The second one, I wanted to try and inject more humor into. I assumed the persona of a kind of annoyed, bored, sorority type who really isn't too worried about her current predicament. The person I had to send to lived in the Netherlands I think, I can't really remember, so I just pretended we were pen pals. I also didn't want to go the normal route of 'Oh noes! Undead viral infection!', so I went a more paranormal route.

Hey! Sorry about the state of the paper!

Before I even begin to tell you the story behind it, let me tell you what I just found out! (I'm fine by the way. My family and I, and a few friends, are still holed up in the college's gymnasium with more than enough supplies courtesy of Mom. She won't stop bragging about how she knew her paranoia would pay off eventually :p).

Alright so, on behalf of my country, let me just say, sorry for the zombies. That's right, they originated here. Remember that weird dude Jeff I was telling you about? The one in math class who always carried a copy of the Necronomicon everywhere? It was him! Apparently he was really into necromancy and is one of those ones with a huge ego (You know, the delusional 'The world will be mine! Mwahahahahahaha!' types.) and magicked them all here. Well not all of them, just the first few that did the biting and infected everyone else. That's why they all seem to have a hive mind. And unfortunately why they're hard to kill. Jeff keeps gloating and strutting all over the neighborhood.

Which brings me to the paper. One of my classmates who is holed up here with us, Brandon, looked outside yesterday and saw his girlfriend who was supposed to be making her way to us. Let's just say she didn't really make it. He was never one to handle stress well anyway. I remember he failed his remedial English final because he saw her hug and kiss another boy and spent all day moping, wondering what to do. (The boy turned out to be her cousin, what the hell Brandon?!)

He went all crazy and decided to just start burning things. Got pretty far too but we put it out and managed to save some things. Now hes in a fetal position in the corner crying. The poor illiterate bastard.

We were worried the commotion would draw them near, but no! I know we all know they are afraid of fire, but they also hate the smell of it too. The got interested because of the noise but once they smelled the burning smell, it drove them away. Some are still lingering but they're keeping their distance.

I think we're onto something here.

Addy DelaMorte,
I hope any of this info helped you somewhat. Stay safe!

I really liked the letters I got back as well. Both of my partners seemed to have some sort of hive mind and based their letters about being on ships when the zombies started attacking.

The first one wrote hers as a diary entry from a little girl.

Dear Diary,
Mommy woke me up early last night and said we were gong away! She said Daddy was gone, I think he left because of me but I won't tell that to Mommy, she's been crying all night and day. We drove all night and out on a boat. It was SO BIG!

We are in a small room with another family. I don't like them, there's a little boy who's bleeding and his Mommy won't let him play with me. His arm looks like a dog bit it and won't stop bleeding, even if they press it tight!

The boy won't shut up now. His daddy tied him to the bed in here! His eyes look red like he has pink eye and now he's bleeding EVERYWHERE! Even his nose is bleeding and his Mommy won't wipe if for him. My Mommy always wipes my nose.

You wouldn't believe it! I went to say sorry to the little boy, and he bit me! What a brat. Now all the grownups are mad at me! This is SO unfair!

I don't feel good. My body hurts and I'm hungry. No one wants to come near me, and all I want is a hug. :(

Amy <3

I thought it was kind of creepy, and a little sad. Poor idiot child with good intentions. I also really loved the drawing at the end. I giggled a bit more than I probably should have.

I was so excited when this last one came in the mail. The sender actually sent it to me in a bottle through the mail.

Oct.20,2011

Dear anyone,
It's been months since the initial outbreak. Almost everyone I've known is gone. There are still a few of us alive, on the aircraft carrier we've fled to. We're safe here for the moment. Food, water, power. Of course, none of us want to consider just how long this will last or what will become of us after these necessities run out. Our little haven in the midst of the storm. For a moment we can almost pretend life is normal, away from the rot of the city and the howls of the undead. We stumbled upon the ship after our little yacht ran dry. Like a beacon of light shining in the distance after hearing our distress call they came and picked us up. Most of the crew had taken ill and were quarantined to the lower decks. No one ventures down past the 3rd deck for this reason. Some have taken to systematically cleaning a few of the rooms, shooting the undead as they go. It's been slow going however as few want to risk being with the zombies in small cramped spaces below deck. The reality and direness of our situation is becoming ever more clear in the understanding that the overstock of food and the water desalination tanks are all down in the bowels of Hell. If the equipment goes down or we run out of food, whether we head to shore or venture below, we will eventually have to face the hordes. Sometimes I think I will wake up, but then I never do.

I don't even know why I am writing this. It seems almost silly or comical to write a note, stick it in a bottle and cast it out to sea. Maybe in a way it's like hope, that this might wash up somewhere and someone will find it, read it and know they aren't alone. Maybe it helps me feel not so alone. Sometimes to pass the time we sit around the radio listening to the static. Late at night in the dark after focusing on the popping for hours you start to hear voices. Never legible words, just mumbles. Even though we have each other, there is still the need of contact. Even the remote possibility of other survivors. I am so weary of hoping. Once in a while we will pass a ship and hail them. Each ship passes without word however, phantoms on the sea. Once we passed a cargo ship, its decks lined with shipping crates. We were close enough to see the undead stumbling towards our ship and falling overboard into the depths of the dark ocean. I had to wonder if the fish would even touch their foul flesh. There are days when I miss land but the ocean has its own ethereal value - the sunsets, the dolphins leaping in our wake. Still out here in the big blue we're stuck with our grief and horror. There's no place to flee our nightmares, no place to tuck them away and forget. I am thankful that I am alive but then what's the point in living if it's every waking moment in Hell, every last breath like some ironic stanza out of the Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner, the poem I was forced to learn in school and can not shed from my thoughts.

Alone, alone, all, all alone,
Alone on a wide wide sea!
And never a saint took pity on
My soul in agony.

The many men, so beautiful!
And they all dead did lie;
And a thousand thousand slimy things
Lived on; and so did I.

I looked upon the rotting sea,
And drew my eyes away;
I looked upon the rotting deck,
And there the dead men lay.

I looked to heaven, and tried to pray;
But or ever a prayer had gusht,
A wicked whisper came and made
My heart as dry as dust.

I closed my lids, and kept them close,
And the balls like pulses beat;
For the sky and the sea, and the sea and the sky,
Lay like a load on my weary eye,
And the dead were at my feet.

The cold sweat melted from their limbs,
Nor rot nor reek did they:
The look with which they looked on me
had never passed away.

An orphan's curse would drag to Hell
A spirit from on high;
But oh! more horrible than that
Is the curse in a dead man's eye!
Seven days, seven nights, I saw that curse,
And yet I could not die.

Keep hope, I pray this finds you well. Continuing on upon the USS Rosevelt, by the grace of God.

Heather.

I absolutely loved the inclusion of the poem too. I think it really set the tone overall. Not to mention that the person's writing was quite poetic as well.

These were so much fun to write. It was very neat to come up with my own zombie mythos and create my own rules for the world the people lived in in the letters. Also the writing and creativity practice is always good.

Random Bullshitty Post

2011-11-22T22:24:00.008-05:00

I got to go camping with my Scouts this weekend so they could earn their Breathe Journey badges; or whatever the damn Journey books want to call them. I swear 90 percent of the people I was camping with were on their periods. But despite some drama and patience running thin, I still had a good time overall.

It just reminded me how much I would absolutely love to go camping with just my Jessie's and I though. There's so much stuff that we could get done in regards to their etsy shop and my stories/drawings/other creative projects. Especially if it was just us, relaxing and helping to keep each other focused. Plus I like the peace and calm of the woods.

We did tie dye at camp. Here's one of the Jessie's (Chicky) handkerchief that she dyed.

I didn't notice it until JessJess said something, but there's totally a Green Man pattern in the middle of it.

Mine didn't come out as colorful as I had hoped for it to.

Mainly because the girls were bogarting all the dye bottles. Lesson learned for next time, be more aggressive when asking for the blue dye. Or alternatively wait until they're all done and use the second set of dye that JessJess brought to camp. One of these days I want to have a major tie dying day with my Jessie's. I guess it's the hippy in me, I love that shit.

I also learned while at camp that no matter how young you are, once you pass the age of 23, people under the age of 17 regard you as 'old' no matter what. Then there's the little fact that I'm only 5 years away from being 30, 4 years come this December the 20th, and I really feel old.

I also drew two ATCs for a Marilyn Manson swap I was in a while back.

I don't mind this one, I actually quite like it. Except now that I'm really looking at it I kind of fucked up his lower lip. I'm still somewhat rusty with drawing. It's been a long while since I've drawn and even longer since I've tried to draw realistically. I'm much more used to cartooning.

This one I have some qualms with as well. I think I just should have taken a bit longer to do it than I originally did.

I sometimes get so annoyed with any of my creations, written or otherwise. I will look at them one moment and I absolutely love them...then I look at them another moment and I contemplate throwing them away, deleting them, burning them in a purifying fire, what have you. It keeps trading off and on like that and of course I am never satisfied with them. Something could have always been better. I guess in a way that is a good thing though.

I also get annoyed with the size limitations for ATCs. I find it hard to draw or paint or whatnot on small canvases.

Well then, I shall see you bitches after the holidays and will have a more awesome blog post, I promise.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Epic Wish Day

2011-11-08T21:55:00.006-05:00

I am contagiously giddy about tomorrow....or maybe I should say today, it is 2:32am at the time of writing after all. Yes, you read that correctly, I said giddy. Giddy like a sexually mature, yet shy, college student about to have tea with Mr.Darcy played by Alan Rickman. Mother fuckers I'm giddy!

Because tomorrow is Epic Wish Day. I even got my co workers talking about it (excitedly I might add) at work, because that's how much of a fucking child I am. I have already set my alarm to 11:00 am.

Wishes are funny to me sometimes. Everyone has their own way of wishing, some sort of little ritual we endow on something that is already a bit of a ritual. Depending on the reason for wishing I have a couple of ways to go about with the actual wish; but the most important part is to close your eyes. Like when 11:11 pops up, you must close your eyes and place your hands flat on the surface in front of you. If you can not do this, then balling them into fists and placing them in your lap is acceptable. Then you must wish for the whole minute and try your best to keep your eyes closed until 11:12.

I don't know why I do that. I have no logical or even illogical reason for balling up my fists or laying them flat in front of me. Sometimes I feel silly afterwards even if I'm alone, like someone is spying on me and saw. But it's just how I wish.

And because I would feel like a douche bag for not including this in the post, tomorrow is also Veterans Day, so take some time between 11:11 am and pm to go tell your veterans how much you appreciate them. Trust me you'll have time, it's like twelve hours between wishes.

I believe I'll be sending my Aunt a text in the military phonetic alphabet (and calling her, don't worry)....because I'm a dork.

Happy Epic Wish Day! And Veterans Day!

I don't usually ask questions to my readers, but I'm feeling curious, so how do you wish? Does it have to be some special way or is your wishing strategy more of a Wham!Bam!Thank you...birthday cake candle/specific time of day/night star type of thing? Also if you do the latter, shame on you people! Don't you know you need to lay your wishes down by the fire on a bear skin rug?

Oh! Before I leave this post, let me leave you with this e-card my friend sent me today. This is one of the myriad of reasons why I love her. Perverted, silly gal she is.

Michigan Fights For Its Right....To Bully

2011-11-04T22:48:00.004-04:00

Michigan Senate Republicans have passed a bill that allows people to bully others based on moral and religious reasons. Then, to show that they know what the word 'asshole' means when applied to them, they name it after a gay teen who committed suicide because of bullying that this bill allows.

You can read about it here.

This is the lowest of lows. In the face of all the recent suicides that have happened or will happen because of bullying, this is absolutely sick. These people that have passed this bill should be charged with accessory to a crime. They may not go out there and actively harass someone but they might as well, who knows how many people this will hurt.

What these people don't realize, is that suicide is only one of the things you'd have to worry about with this bill. People react in different ways. Some want to hurt themselves, and some want to lash out. In all honesty, I'm just going to throw it out there, they're setting themselves up for another Columbine or school shooting.

Fuck it doesn't even have to be a school shooting, because this bill applies to all ages and all people.

When I was a child in the 8th grade at Southampton, I was harassed day in and day out by this bitch named Kim. She made fun of me for being fat. All the time. Looking back now at old pictures I realize I wasn't really that fat, but it didn't matter because she made me believe that I was horrendously overweight. She made me believe that I was worthless. I almost failed classes because if she was in one of them I would fake sick, numerous times, to get out and stay at the nurse. The worst part was that my locker was right next to hers and I would continuously either miss the bus or almost miss it because I was too afraid to go near it when she was near. There was no telling what she would do once she saw me.

And as per usual in these types of situations, no one helped me. I told teachers who told me to ignore the girl that pushed me into walls and got in my face to scream at me and tell me how disgusting I was. We were made to go to peer mediation, which is a bullshit way to deal with things, I presume because the principal didn't actually want to deal with it. The mediator was one of her best friends. Kim said I was blowing things out of proportion and her friend looked me in the eye and told me Kim would never do those things. As far as the teachers were concerned Kim was a good person. They never saw her do any of these things, because she was smart enough not to do them while the teachers were in ear or eyesight.

I had no where to go, no one to protect me. Things finally came to a head when she asked to talk to me and lead me into the bathrooms while I was trying to go to my bus. She exploded at me because I had dared to go to someone else for help about what she was doing. She slapped me a couple of times in the face and called me a pig and then told me that if I told anyone she would blow a hole through my head. She told me that she was lucky she didn't bash my face into a wall right then and there.

I went home and it was like I had snapped. I was angry this time. Angry at her for what she had said and did and angry at myself for not doing anything about it. For a week I planned her murder. I had everything figured out to the last detail; or at least I thought I had. I may have been able to hide evidence but the fact that I was planning on running away after that would point everything all at me. Also I was going to dump her body in one of the school trash cans and cover her with trash. Once again, she would have been found. Also there probably would have been a lot more blood than what I originally thought there would be.

One morning before I went to school I stole my mom's car keys and hid them in my room. I was intent on driving as far as I could after school. I took a knife to school and kept it in my pants pocket. All day I looked for her; I wasn't afraid, I was pumped. Also a little paranoid. Every so often my hand would absent-mindedly go to my pocket to check and make sure the knife was hidden and it didn't look like I had one. When I got to my locker I stuck my hand in my pants and gripped the handle and asked her friend where she was. She was sick and didn't come to school that day. I went home and put the knife back when no one was looking and told my mom the keys she was looking for all day had been in my room. Then I played stupid as to why they were there.

I couldn't believe how stupid I had acted. How could I even think of killing another person? How could I have almost done something so absolutely idiotic? I had almost thrown my whole life away.

The next time Kim came into school, she acted different. I'll never know if her friend told her about how strangely I acted when I asked for her, or if someone at school finally listened to me and called her mom or what. I can't remember exactly what she said to me, but she called a truce. She said she'd be my friend and stop hassling me if I went on a diet. I agreed if only to get her out of my hair and to make my living hell finally fucking end.

Later that year I almost passed out in math class and had to be sent to the nurse because I had starved myself for three days and forgot to stay hydrated. After that I got smarter and remembered to bring a water bottle to school. I would have done anything to make her leave me alone and not eating food was a small price to pay. If I remember correctly it wouldn't be until halfway through 9th grade when I would say, fuck this starving shit.

After I graduated 8th grade, my family moved back to our old house. Everyone hated it there. I never saw Kim again and I never had to deal with her. It would be another year before I started to get my backbone and finally start standing up for myself...which gave me the courage to stand up for others when I saw them going through what I went through. That's not to say that everything was absolutely cheery and I had a perfect life or anything, after 8th grade is also when I started to cut to numb myself from the pain. But for the most part when people gave me shit I told them where to stick it...and more importantly I had friends who would if I didn't or couldn't. Friends that treated me like a blood relative and who I also thought of as family.

To this day I've always wanted to confront Kim. Ask her what the fuck was wrong with her and let her know exactly how far I was willing to go to make her quit. Also I get strong urges to punch her in the face. I will always remember the gut wrenching fear I felt all throughout school. The shame and humiliation and the feeling that, even though I had friends, I was all alone in this fight that not even adults were willing to help me with. I remember nights when I would cry into my pillow and pray for God to kill me, or ask Him and His angels why they hated me so much they would allow this to happen.

You can absolutely give a moral or religious reason for teasing someone for being overweight. You can also give a moral or religious reason for bullying someone for being black, mixed, Muslim...it doesn't matter. These Senators are putting people in the same exact position I was put in in 8th grade. I didn't kill Kim and I was brought back to my senses...but who's to say that the next person or people will come to the same conclusions? As I said before, suicide is not the only thing these bill makers will have to worry about. Not everyone is going to stand for someone else's shit.

Rake Road

2011-10-27T03:04:00.004-04:00

There is a road that my friends have dubbed 'Ghost Road' about a ten minute drive from where I live. There have been some creepy experiences there and some sightings. I tend to call it Rake Road (after the *Rake **creepy pasta) because of one of my experiences.

I like to take fuck it drives and usually at night since I don't sleep until late. This was when I first got my car and was exploring places. I was driving up and down North Point Road and decided to take a left on one of the roads where the new developments were. I was alone the first time and had driven all the way down, through the wooded part to the dead end. I turned around to go back and was just smoking a cigarette when I saw it and hit the brakes. Not because I was about to hit it, I just didn't want my car to go near it.

About fifteen feet in front of me there was this all white thing. At first I thought it was a deer but it was too disproportionate to be one. It ran across from where the developments were to the other side of the road and stopped to take a quick look towards my car before disappearing into the bushes. It looked almost like a dog and was very, very skinny; but it ran like a hunched over person. When it looked my way I just remember big, bright white eyes. It also kind of looked like it had scraggly, thin hair hanging from its head.

I flicked my cigarette away and quickly lit up another one as I rolled up all my windows as fast as the automatic button would allow. Then I made sure all my doors were locked. I drove somewhat slow at first because I was going to see if it was still somewhere near the side of the road but then thought; 'Fuck that, it looks like the Rake! And even if it's not, it could be rabid and aggressive!' So I went straight home to bed and made sure the doors and windows were locked. Yeah, I'm a chicken.

Another time I was taking my sister down there to look at Christmas lights because the people that live there like to decorate and go all out. We decided to go all the way down through the woods to get to the dead end to see if they had anything worth looking at. As we're about to exit the development I tell her to roll up her windows and make sure the doors are locked. She asks why and I told her I'd tell her about the 'dog' I saw on the way back home. As we're driving towards the wooded section she screams. I didn't see anything weird so of course I'm like 'What the hell is wrong with you?' She said she saw a little girl, she looked about ten years old, in a white nightgown by the side of the road and it freaked her out. I look in my rear view mirror and can't see anything. My sister is freaking out and wants to go back home but we're already halfway through the woods and I can't turn around on that road. We get to the dead end and I turn around, as we get to the place where she thinks she saw the girl we drive slowly looking for anyone. No one was there but a little tree. I teased her that the tree was probably her 'ghost'.

A couple of months later I'm hanging out with my friend and two of his friends and they tell me about Ghost Road. I ask where it is and they say it's on North point where the new developments are. I didn't want to try and give them anything to go on so I ask them to tell me the story behind it and why it's dubbed that.

They tell me that there have been sightings there of a little girl that was kidnapped and killed...I don't know how many years back. I ask them what she was wearing. They told me a white nightgown, and when I asked them how old she was supposed to be, they said around eight years old.

We tried to go there that night to take pictures after I fessed up about my sister's sighting, but found nothing. I've wanted to go back, but my car window doesn't shut (Again! Although this time it's a different one.), and I'll be damned if I'm going down there with a window that can't close.

*The Rake concept art

**The Rake creepy pasta

Fantastic Cemetery Photos

2011-10-22T16:47:00.011-04:00

I had a cemetery photo exchange swap due for the website Swap Bot and thought I'd share some of the pictures I took of one of my favorite graveyards to go to.

I love cemeteries; they're always so peaceful and quiet...for obvious reasons. The perfect place to get away and read a book or go art out...as long as you are respectful of the hallowed ground on which you step of course.

This is the inside of one of the mausoleums. I love the huge stained glass windows. It's also the perfect *sleeping place and the building that I accidentally set the alarms off in. A couple of years back I went to the graveyard for a picnic and it was kind of chilly outside. However I wasn't ready to go home, so I took my purse and book and went inside the mausoleum. I sat in the little circle area to the side, so I wouldn't bother anyone that happened to come in, and accidentally nodded off while reading (it was really warm!).

All of a sudden I hear this slow beeping sound and think, 'Oh crap! They're backing in the coffin! I'm going to interrupt a funeral, how do I get out of here?' Then I realized that trucks make that sound, not coffins. The staff didn't see me and were locking up for the night. Double crap! I race towards the entrance but by the time I reach it I hear the alarm set. I'm standing there watching the security guard walk away with my hand resting on the door. I tried knocking and calling for him but he didn't seem to hear me (or maybe he's used to unseen people calling and knocking?) so I had no choice but to open the door.

Did you know those alarms are really loud? He was very nice about it as I ran up to explain what happened and kind of showed me how to get in and out of the graveyard when no one was there "in case it ever happens again". I don't think he meant to show me how to break into the graveyard, but I use this knowledge for good and not evil, thus I am not traipsing around the cemetery at night. Although that does sound like fun!

I just had to take a picture of this tombstone, only because it's the only one I've seen that has a pentacle on it. Or what looks like a pentacle. Maybe they didn't mean for it to look like one and I am mistaken as to what it is. It makes me wonder who this woman was and what she was like. Was she pagan or some other religion? Was she nice? The marker next to her had an eagle type of design on it, it was somewhat hard to see because it was faded and worn away. I think she was married to a military man.

I once cast runes near here to see what I could find and came up with a lot of good things. I can't remember what they said, so I'd like to think she was a nice lady with a nice family. Also her site has a really calming type of presence.

But I could also be wrong.

Now this is just awesome. Once again, the more unique the tombstone is the more it makes me wonder just exactly who was this person I never knew. Was he just a big music or rock fanatic and couldn't play a note? Or was he the worlds greatest undiscovered talent? Or maybe he was discovered? Who knows.

I thought this was beautiful. The cemetery I was in didn't have much in way of statues or any really ornate markers. But the ones they do have I love.

You don't usually get to see color on tombstones. Such a pretty green.

I thought the simplicity in its statue and engraving was touching and beautiful. I always liked these kinds of tombstones.

As much as I like statues in graveyards the eyes of this one were kind of spooky. I like them better when they're closed. When they're not they have these weird little pits for pupils and it makes them look like they're watching your every move. This one's gaze made me slightly uneasy I must admit.

*I think it should be said I'm not advocating napping in mausoleums.

Basement Dweller

2011-10-15T01:48:00.003-04:00

I hate basements. I think any sane person does. When my family and I moved to Harford County and I saw the layout of the house, I thought 'finally! I get to have an actual room!'. That thought was soon crushed however when my parents took the master bedroom and the kids took the other two bedrooms upstairs and I was once again delegated the basement. Looking back it was fair because my brothers and sister were very young but it annoyed me to no end then especially because the basement was hardly what you could call private.

Younger siblings being as they are will always find any way into an older sibling's room. My room connected to the laundry room by means of an unfinished wall where one could squeeze through. I would always turn around from writing or doing whatever I was doing in my room just in time to see a little head peeking from around the corner of the wall.

Then there was the storage room. My room had a huge walk in closet with slated doors that would fold open or closed. The only thing bad about this is that I couldn't lock them. There was a storage room across from my room and a little hall way that led from that room into my closet. Why anyone would want to construct a house like this is beyond me. I finally got smart and started to bind my door with a thick rubber band, but that was short lived. My younger siblings would try and come into my room via the storage room and find they couldn't open the doors of the now dark closet. They were young and would freak out so much it wouldn't occur to them to go back the way they came or they would get too scared to do so and would start to cry and yell for my mom. My mom would either take off the band and let them out through my room or call to them from the storage room and they would get the courage to go back. Then she would tell them I was being rude and ignorant and didn't like them.

I hated that room. I hated that closet. I would wake up and find the previously closed doors open. I would rush upstairs to my mom and ask her why she kept letting my siblings come into my room only for her to brush me off and cover up for them, claiming that they went right to school and didn't try to come into my precious room.

Waking up to that would always creep me out even though I knew that it was only my brothers and sister doing it. It even gave me nightmares and I would wake up and look through the dark to make sure that the door was indeed still closed.

One night however gave me reason to believe that it might not all be to blame on the kids. I went to sleep rather early because I had school the next day. I had a dream that I was laying down on my bed and my closet door began to open. Out of it came two monsters. They were cold and clammy and had green stringy matter that clung to them. They had no real features and where their eyes were was nothing but darkness. They picked me up screaming and fighting and lifted me high above their heads. They carried me out of my house and down my street towards the center of my neighborhood. Where there was usually a playground there was now a vast lake with a long pier leading off of it.

In all dreams there are certain truths. Certain rules. You don't know how you know them, you just do and it's usually a split second before the dream rule will be enacted. In this dream I knew I couldn't swim. I knew that if I were to be thrown off the pier and into the lake, I would drown and die. I fought harder and screamed louder but my cries were met by deep laughter. Then I got an idea and started to scream for myself to wake up.

When I woke up I felt myself fall onto the bed. And when I looked in the darkness towards my closet, the door was open.