This Day in History Blog

July 22: Godfrey of Bouillon

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July 22, 1099: Godfrey of Bouillon becomes the first ruler of the Kingdom of Jerusalem. He had received the name "of Bouillon" for his practice of boiling his enemies in broth.

July 21: Geneva Conference

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July 21, 1954: The Geneva Conference ends with a settlement intended to bring peace to Vietnam by temporarily dividing it into North and South. That works out really well.

July 20: Rollo

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July 20, 911: Rollo besieges Chartres. He attempts to capture the city by bombarding it with chocolate-covered caramels.

July 17: Nicholas II of Russia

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July 17, 1918: Tsar Nicholas II of Russia and his family are executed by Bolsheviks. He had been overthrown when the peasants realized that the Tsar and the Czar were the same person.*

*h/t: I totally stole that joke from Woody Allen.

July 16: Saint Gondulphus of Tongeren

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July 16, annually: The feast day of Saint Gondulphus of Tongeren. According to legend, Saint Gondulphus was canonized for helping to destroy the One Ring.

July 15: The Rosetta Stone

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July 15, 1799: French Army Captain Pierre-François Bouchard Discovers the Rosetta Stone in Egypt. It receives its name from its carved likeness of an ancient pharaoh's consort, who bore a striking resemblance to Bouchard's girlfriend, Rosetta.

July 14: The Matterhorn

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July 14, 1865: Edward Whymper and companions reach the top of the Matterhorn. Four of them die on the way down, becoming the first people to die at Disneyland.

July 13: Patrick Stewart

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July 13, 1940: Actor Patrick Stewart is born. Whenever his mother says, "Time to change your nappy," he says, "Make it so."

July 10: Alexander Mackenzie

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July 10, 1789: Alexander Mackenzie finds the Mackenzie River. He says, "What a coincidence; my name is Mackenzie too."

July 9: Treaties of Tilsit

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July 9, 1807: Napoleon signs the Second Treaty of Tilist with Prussia. Under the treaty, Prussia must supply the French army with Tilsit cheese.

July 8: Dow Jones Industrial Average

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July 8, 1932: The Dow Jones Industrial Average closes at its all-time low of 41.22. Republicans blame Barack Obama.

July 7: Joan of Arc

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July 7, 1456: Joan of Arc is acquitted of heresy in a retrial. It comes a little late, since she was executed in 1431.

July 6: Writer's block

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July 6, 2011: kuri suffers from writer's block. In desperation, he writes a post about himself.

July 3: Stone of Scone

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July 3, 1996: The Stone of Scone is returned to Scotland. A fossilized roll weighing over 300 pounds, it has been used for centuries in the coronations of Scottish, English, and British monarchs.

July 2: Sherman Anti-trust Act

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July 2, 1890: The US Congress passes the Sherman Anti-trust Act. The new law says, "Never trust a guy named Sherman."

July 1: Canada Day

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July 1, annually: Canada celebrates its unification as one country. Needing a name for this Canadian celebration, Canada imaginatively calls it "Canada Day."

June 30: The Immortal Seven

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June 30, 1688: The Immortal Seven issue the Invitation to William. Later, they all die.

June 26: "The Lottery"

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June 26, 1948: Shirley Jackson's short story "The Lottery" is published in New Yorker magazine. It later leads to confusion when governments begin to run their own lotteries, and customers throw rocks at convenience store clerks rather than buying tickets from them.

June 25: Douglas Hyde

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June 25, 1938: Dr. Douglas Hyde is inaugurated as the first president of Ireland. His vice-president is the mysterious Mr. Jekyll.

June 24: New Jersey

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June 24, 1664: The colony of New Jersey is founded. The first Governor's name is Guido.

June 23: Vespasian

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June 23, 79: Roman Emperor Titus Flavius Vespasianus dies. He receives the posthumous name "Vespasian" after he dies when he crashes his "Vespa" motor scooter while "passing" a slow-moving chariot.

June 22: Battle of Raphia

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June 22, 217 BCE: Ptolemy IV of Egypt defeats Antiochus III of the Seleucid Empire at the Battle of Raphia. War had broken out between the two kingdoms because Antiochus had insisted on pronouncing the "P" in "Ptolemy" even after Ptolemy told him repeatedly that it's silent.

June 19: Emanuel Swedenborg

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June 19, 1770: Emanuel Swedenborg reports the completion of the Second Coming of Christ. According to Swedenborg, in the End Times Christ will be accompanied by an army of blond-haired cyborgs who will take human beings into Heaven in order to assimilate their biological and technological distinctiveness.

June 18: Emperor Gaozu of Tang

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June 18, 618: Li Yuan is crowned Emperor Gaozu of Tang, founding China's Tang Dynasty. The dynasty becomes renowned for its delicious fruit-flavored breakfast drinks.

June 17: The Night Attack

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June 17, 1462: Mehmed II of the Ottoman Empire narrowly escapes assassination at the hands of Vlad III of Wallachia in the Night Attack. This earns Vlad the nickname Vlad the Near-Misser, which is later superseded by the better-known name Vlad the Impaler.