This Full House

BlogHer 2008: East Meets West And All The Rest

2008-07-24T14:42:14-04:00

View of San Francisco from Pier 39 taken by Dana and shown here, with her permission, because she knows I.M. Adork!

Dear BlogHers,

As if my arrival into the crazy that is BlogHer wasn't manic enough -- seriously, flying 6 hours, cross-country, allows a person plenty of time to think about stuff, like telling people about my blog(s) and then trying to come up with a reasonable explanation of what exactly it is a "Professional Dork," you know, does -- it was a bit of shock to realize that I seemed to have left my heart (along with my camera) in San Francisco!

Here we are (that's me on the left) on the way to the Nintendo Dinner (thank you for dating me, Donna) where I demonstrate a whole new meaning to, "Hanging with White Trash!"

Then it came to me -- some where in between Union Square and the San Francisco Bay -- what if I don't ever want to go home?

Freezing my lips off at my first professional baseball game -- SF Giants vs. Brewers -- with Dana (she's from Wisconsin) and loving every minute of it -- oh, and I TOOK THIS PICTURE, it was on the last day and when I remember...you know...I had a camera phone!

The last time Dana and I got together was in April and she came to visit with us, here in Jersey (it was cold then, too) so, the kids and I took her to the boardwalk in Pt. Pleasant. We treated her to really awesome lunch (Jersey makes GOOD pizza) and then...well...it went quiet. Even my kids felt that something was different. We watched her face change from that of being in the comfort of friends to absolute awe, as Dana saw the ocean for the very first time, and felt very privileged to have been a part of that!

Shannon, yet another Shannon, Kerry (me) Amber and Dana - the closest I've ever come to being a part of a true-life posse, sort of - photo taken by Elizabeth, last year's roomie!

I made some really great friends here and -- especially, when we got the chance to reunite at the People's Party - I couldn't (still can't) imagine having to go back to my normal life, without them.

Then, I fell in love with Lesbian Dad -- yes, of course my husband Garth (not his real name) knows -- she was on the Mommyblogging Radical Act panel and I stared her down in total awe. She made me think (I know, act surprised anyway) and I soon realized that, though most of us felt the commonality of blogging, there is no such thing as "normal." We each share our lives with the people who we love SO MUCH, that it sometimes hurts.

[Please read her post picked to be read during the Community Keynote]

Damn, if I didn't want to bottle up some of that power and smuggle it home!

Me and Jenn shamelessly borrowed from Busy Mom's photo stream - with her permission, of course!

Then, there's Jenn (a.k.a. Mommy Needs Coffee) who I've been reading for, like, forever and perhaps the toughest (yet, soft and totally squishy inside) blogging chick I know and would probably feel right at home with me, here in Jersey!

Me and Mrs. Flinger -- sounds like a great title for a song, a book, or something, yes? -- shamelessly lifted from...you guessed it...Mrs. Flinger!

Then, Mrs. Flinger smacked my ass -- yep, right there in front of the sponsors and everything -- and, besides the fact that I am already absolutely bananas over Jenny, I found yet another reason to move to Seattle!

Hello, we are riding the trolley from HELL!

Though, San Francisco DID have it's moments of extreme beauty, grace and...OMG...what and leave ALL this behind?!?

Shannon, Diana, MammaLoves, Shannon (who ALSO knows I'm a DORK and let me borrow this pic from her) Erika, Jenny, my new best friend from Macy's and Me!

Then it hit me (no, NOT Mrs. Flinger) and this is where all the marketing, public relations and newspaper people visiting with me here today should be paying very, very close attention...ready...every time we blogging-type moms get together, I find myself in the middle of something big. A part of a growing family, if you will, who don't have to think twice about making me feel right at home.

With much love and admiration,

I.M. Tired

The End

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In Other News:

This Full House Giveaway #13 - Care Bear Baby Gift Package

This Full House Kids: Peanut Butter and a Meme!

BlogHer 2008: The Arrival

2008-07-22T05:37:20-04:00

Park your trolley, here.

Last week, right before leaving for BlogHerCon 2008 in San Francisco, I wrote down some of the reasons why I decided to attend - leaving out the fact that I forgot to mention it to my husband, Garth (not his real name) but, it's okay, because, he found out when we got the credit card bill, the next month - and STILL went!

Heh.

If that's NOT a radical mommyblogging act, then I don't know what is and who knew it was going to be so COLD in San Francisco, anyway?!?!

I've slept 2 of the 24 hours since I've been home - the jet is totally kicking my lag - so, I trust that you'll excuse me for burping up the details of BlogHer, this week.

Shannon and I met at the airport in Newark (yeah, I'm from Jersey, SO WHAT!) and spent the next 6 hours catching up from last year's conference.

Westin, St. Francis

We arrived to the Westin, St. Francis early Thursday afternoon and before Donna (a.k.a. the ever popular party girl and MOMocrat) so, as per Donna's instructions, we checked in and requested to be put into "the tower."

Because, she has slept at this hotel before (no, not with me) and...well...she's SoCal Mom!

"Excuse me, but can you tell me where I can find this room?"

I pointed to the key card, realizing that the room numbers didn't go as high, and the housekeeper just sort of...you know...looked at me as if I were from Jersey, or something.

"No...no...no...this across the street."

What?

"Tower across the street!"

Oh, man it was like Chicago...all...over...again!

"But, the conference is here!"

[shrugs shoulders]

"You go across the street!"

Whatever.

"Excuse me, but why are we sleeping across the street?"

So, the really, really cute registration Dude [Hi, Alex!] sort of...you know...pretends he doesn't know...that I know...you know...I don't know what the hell I'm talking about.

"Uh, Ma'am, I don't believe Lefty O'Doul's has bedrooms."

I know and don't call me Ma'am!

Long story short (you're welcome) "the tower" could be reached by taking a separate set of elevators, right behind the Concierge's desk, that stopped on random floors, for no apparent reason, and then go really, really fast.

BURP.

"Did I mention that I have this terrible fear of heights?"

HICCUP.

"Aaaaand I'm... you know...claustrophobic?"

Still, Momsational agreed to sleep with me, anyway - so, we dropped our bags in the room and then Donna came in and we took dibs on the beds.

"I call the wall!"

Because, I hate heights and sleeping by the window - not to mention, the fact that we were 9 floors up from the ground - would have haunted me all night.

"Look, this bathroom has a door!"

Unlike, the louvered sliding deals at the W, last year, that offered a gal very little, or no privacy, whatsoever!

"Oh, but where's the fan."

Seriously, mirrors do fog up and it's a bitch to put on makeup when you can't..you know...see what you're smudging!

"Look, it's Jenn...oh, and Busy Mom!"

They were probably tired, too - but, weren't fast enough to get away - silly women.

"Giiiiirl, ya'ahl-most put mah eye out!"

Did you know that we're almost related (no, really) and that both of these fine women write for Deep South Moms?

Photo via: Phat Mommy, with permission!

So, after Donna nearly killed me on a walking tour of almost ALL of freakin' San Francisco (more on that, later) we met up with the rest of the Silicon Valley Moms Group and headed over (or, down, as in Donna's case) to the cocktail party at Slide - a speak easy during prohibition- appropriately, enough!

We got back into the hotel at...um...it was still dark...but, then woke up at the butt-crack of dawn to prepare for the real reason I decided to go to San Francisco, in the first place.

San Francisco Giants Stadium

Aaaand it wasn't JUST for the free food, booze or attending my first professional baseball game, partaking in fabulous makeovers, or awesome shopping trips, either - although, I did have to buy a scarf - who knew it would be so cold?

[....to be continued]

Visit the BlogHer '08 San Francisco group on Flickr!

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In Other News:

This Full House Reviews: GameStop Blog Tour

This Full House Kids: Vlogging the Perfect Peanut Butter Sandwich

I'm going because BlogHer is working for ME, now!

2008-07-15T13:09:56-04:00

I love this picture - it was taken during an evening excursion on the Navy Pier and sampling of some mighty fine fried dough during the BlogHer Conference in Chicago, last summer - and this is, like, the third time I've taken the liberty of showing the Internets....Dana grabbing my ass!

RELAX!

We were being careful - because, you know that this sort of act can get you arrested in some states - and were vigilant about keeping our clothes on for pretty much the entire time.

Even, when we slept together!

NO...quit it...not like that...we were roomies. Besides, she really slept with Elizabeth and I shared a bed with Shannon...and...oh, STOP IT!

What IS your problem?

No, not you - I'm talking about me - okay, maybe you...way in the back...who is just DYING to hear about the latest poop and controversy. Though it sounds like a great title for a blog (yes, you may have it) you won't find any outrageous behavior from me.

Unless, someone grabs my ass and there happens to be a BlogHer (or, Him) holding a camera, nearby.

So, why am I going to BlogHer 2008?

Well...last year...the answer to that question was pretty simple - to meet other bloggers:

"They've allowed me to escape into a private little world - though, quite undeservedly named and rather unpleasant to the ear - blogging has simply become a refuge from, you know, the average, every day, same old-same old."

This time, it's a lot more than that.

I've been blogging for nearly 5 years, now and been very fortunate (okay, DAMNED LUCKY) to have been offered opportunities that I know, FOR DAMNED SURE, would never have crossed my radar, in real life.

You see, they've created a monster.

I've got goals - real, down to earth and honest things I want to do with my blog - and I'm paying BlogHer good money to give me the stuff I need (oh, like information and inspiration) to help me REACH those goals!

So, in essence, I guess you can say that the conference organizers have quite a big job ahead of them and are totally, you know, working for me now!

Yes, it's damned expensive and NO we certainly can't afford it - between gas, food and fabric softener, the credit card companies are totally loving that my family is, you know, financing their vacations - but, I decided to look at it as a very sound investment.

In myself.

So, you guys better do a good job. Because, I just told my 4 kids that they can't come...for the ten-thousandth time...and now the 2 youngest have totally strapped themselves around my ankles.

What's a mother to do?

[heavy sigh]

I had to tell them that, you know, kids aren't allowed.

[cracks knuckles and blows bangs out of eyes]

Don't make me tell on you!

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Aaaaand, while I'm busy puking on the plane (San Francisco is a loooooong way from New Jersey) I've got some pretty good reading lined up for yous.

Speaking of boobs and ass: New Jersey Moms Blog - Are we turning our backs on naturists?

Oh and some free stuff: This Full House Giveaway #12 - Family Picnic Package

Three things you should NEVER talk about while on a family vacation!

2008-07-14T10:57:36-04:00

Why don't you take a long walk on a...um...oh my...but, that's one looooong jetty!

We just got back from spending a 4-day family getaway with Mini-me's godparents, my parents and my Aunt Elizabeth (she's my father's youngest sister, who I happened to be named after, and...YES...she happens to be a lovable DORK, too) who's visiting from Hungary for the summer.

Yes, we are ALL still speaking to each other...sort of.

My parents are not able to walk very long distances, anymore - which sucks and can make someone, who's used to always being on the go, very, very cranky - so, I asked Elizabeth if she'd like to come down to the beach with us.

"I have to ask your father, first."

Just so you know, she's 56 years-old, Europeans can get very, very cranky AND weird.

"I understand."

You see, my Aunt Elizabeth was only 4 years-old when her only brother (my father) fled Europe during the Hungarian Revolution in 1956. He was 19 and the next time they would see each other, he and his baby sister (a teenager now) would invariably feel like strangers and their mother was dead.

My children love my Aunt Elizabeth - even though, they can't understand a word she is saying - and their childhood, by comparison, probably seems very idyllic...to her.

Either way, having logged in an awful lot of travel time with our own parents, my husband Garth (not his real name) and I have learned that there are three things you never talk about while on a family vacation - no matter what language you speak - especially, when there ARE kids around:

THE GOOD OLD DAYS: Typically, a grandparent's lament. At least once. How things "used to be" and that "young people today" are pretty much screwed. Then, they go and forget things. Like, how they would never, ever have let you stay up that late and drink soda, until you pee'd orange and grape, seriously. Let's face it. Grandparents are from Mars. They are evil and will do everything in their power to spoil their grandchildren. And we ARE...you know...totally screwed!

REAL ESTATE: The housing market, not unlike the rest of the United States, pretty much sucks in New Jersey. Having lived in our starter home for the last 15 years. Still. There are people who are building these ginormous houses and buying up land like...well...it's gonna run out, dammit! With 4 kids, it makes us sort of feel like we're stuck in between a rock and a really hard place to keep clean. Then, your kid starts crying. Because, he thinks that you are talking about moving and wonders why anyone wouldn't love your house, as much as he does. Especially, his parents. Oh...unless, we meant that we're moving to Cape May. Then, that's okay. Dammit.

POLITICS: Or, risk sleeping on the couch and hearing "Boy, you and your wife are on totally opposite sides of the aisle, huh!?!?" at breakfast, the next morning.

I'm just saying.

Oh, and one more thing, you might want to consider never trying to squeeze in 2 weeks of vacation in 4 days.

"Thing One is sick, Thing Two has a migraine, Mini-me's stomach is whoopsie and The Boy is 102!"

Yep - we're baaaaaaack and it's like we never left - only 3 more days until I leave for BlogHer and...I...can....NOT...wait.

"I hear San Francisco is nice, this time of year!"

Although, it won't be quite like a vacation (there will be many meetings and much note-taking) at least, with about 1,000 OTHER folks attending, there's a good chance that I'll be able to find people that I can talk to, about most anything, and no one has to...you know...get sick.

I hope there's cake!

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In Other News:

The Review Bloggers Carnival is up and running at our Review Blog!

Gone Fishing - Will Be Back Soon, or NOT!

2008-07-07T08:44:10-04:00

Sand, surf and sharks...OH MY!

I'm flipping over the "gone fishing" fishing sign, as Mini-me's Godparents have invited us down to beautiful Cape May, NJ for a couple of days of fun in the sun (hopefully, if the weather holds out) and the kids and I are more than happy to...you know...help totally fill up the bedrooms at their beach house!

In the meantime - while we're off digging in the surf, chasing tiny little sand crabs and jumping some of the best waves on the east coast, taking loads of pictures...oh...AND eating tons of the most AWESOMEST (yes, it's a word!) boardwalk food that is ALSO probably really, really, bad for us, too - please, kick off your shoes and stay a while.

I've got some pretty good reading lined up, for you, too:

SV Mom Bloggers Summer Road Trip '08: Five selected contributors from SV Moms Group will begin blogging and video blogging (vblogging) about their upcoming road trip from Virginia, DC, Chicago and Loveland (via New Jersey, or New York just didn't work out, maybe next year?) to their final destination, the BlogHer Conference in San Francisco!

BlogHer Community Keynote: I am SO excited about this; the closing keynote for Day One of the conference will be live blog readings from the BlogHer community itself. 20 posts will be chosen to be read - a virtual BlogHerpalooza - and I'm dying to hear who's reading, since...you know..I've submitted one of my posts, too. They're supposed to announce it, tomorrow (7/8/08) so, cross your fingers!

New Jersey Moms Blog: Speaking of BlogHer - are you going? If so, EXCELLENT! Then, if you also happen to be a Mom, I wrote a song...just for you!

Growing Pains: I've got a monthly column at the Imperfect Parent (I know, I don't know how THAT happened, either) and July's article, "No More Trips to Disney, For You!" is up and running...like, today!

Fun stuff, right?

Riiiiight.

I'll be back on Friday and should have some really cool pictures for you, too - unless we win the lottery and decide to stay, or I happen to break my camera...AGAIN - so, please feel free to DE-LURK and leave a comment.

Why?

I love coming home and finding cool stuff in the mail.

Why?

Because, you know, I am a DORK! Besides, you can always tell me just how much you really, really miss me.

Why?

Because, NOT only does my Dorkiness make...like...even total strangers feel much, much better about themselves (you're welcome!) I make other parents look real good, too ;o)

[Cross-posted at our Review Blog, dedicated to posts written about the stuff we like, or haven't managed to, you know, break...yet!]

Love means never having to explain your tattoo!

2008-07-03T14:05:46-04:00

It's official, I'm semi-permanently inked with a pair of man boobs!

Recently, I had the good fortune (read: how in the hell did that happen) of being invited to an event hosted by the Discovery Channel in New York City, where the kids and I got to check out all the new cool toys and gadgets available at the Discovery Store, for the holidays.

"They must have heard that you're a Discovery Whore!"

At least that's what my husband, Garth (not his real name) likes to call me and my good friend Kate, anyways.

So, I schlepped the 4 kids, all the way from Jersey, into Penn Station, then waited 20 minutes for a taxi, spent $20 to get across town and then walked about a bazillion city blocks back to the train station, because I spent the rest of my money on candy at Dylan's.

So, was it worth it?

In a word, sortof.

"Oh, so YOU'RE the one with all the kids!"

Apparently, asking for and then receiving permission that I be allowed to bring all 4 of my kids - because, it's summer and, you know, there's no school - caused quite an uproar.

"I heard that you had 5, or something."

What's one more, or less, anyway?

"But, I have to tell you, I can't believe that your kids are SO well behaved!"

Look, I've been in (and out) of plenty of stores to know that shopping is probably NOT one of the most favorite of family pastimes - hell, I can barely stand going food shopping anymore - and kids CAN get bored very, very easily.

"Thank you, but this IS a treat and they've been warned."

Actually, they're pretty shy about meeting new people (aren't we all?) and were already pretty much feeling burned-out from the trip in.

"Did you guys see the chocolate fountain?"

Just so you know, my children ARE a testament to the restorative powers of chocolate and I got the sense that the Discovery folks (Hi, Pamela!) were really very happy to actually have some kids around to, you know, play with their stuff.

"So, what do the Deadliest Catch guys fish for?"

Pamela was showing us the new line of vids and games (the Cash Cab board game looks, AWESOME!) and thought she'd test my 9-year-old son, a little.

"Opilio and Red Crab!"

[eyes go wide]

"Wow, that's right!"

See, is it any wonder I'm raising a bunch of little Discovery Whores?

"Aaaand, for answering the question correctly, I believe that YOU should have this game!"

O...M...G...can I just tell you...we'd already seen the commercials and The Boy was so excited to learn that they actually have a Deadliest Catch Game!

"Um...we don't have Xbox."

It's okay, it's available for PC as well.

"Besides, my Mom won't let me."

WHAT?!?!?

"Well, if he doesn't want it, I've got a 13-year-old at home."

WHAT, WHAT?!?!?

"I'm sure he'll be more than happy to have it."

I don't know who she was - since, Pamela introduced me as the mom blogger from "This Full House" and the poor woman probably assumed that I, you know, MUST know her blog handle - but, she DID manage to scare me AND my kids into submission.

"No problem, she can have it."

Awkward silence.

"Um...this is the only copy we have, here."

I felt bad for the poor Discovery people.

"Oh, well...then, don't worry about it."

[pointing toward my son]

"I just thought, since he didn't want it..."

[biting tongue]

"No, really...TAKE IT!"

Oh, I wasn't mad or anything - not really - it's just that I was a bit put off by her insinuating that my kid was being ungrateful, rather than having to explain that he was merely carrying out a contract that I made the kids sign, after signing up for a year's subscription to an online game:

We will not buy any PS2 games or computer games for a full year in return for Blankety-blank-blank Online!

February 24, 2008

Signed: Thing One, The Boy, Mini-me, Thing Two

And just found it easier to, you know, submit and then, LATER, explain to my son (and his sisters) what to do the next time someone offers you something, gratis.

"You say...YES!"

Discovery Lady continued her presentation.

"I guess you guys are a little too young to watch LA INK, huh?"

[see picture above]

"Nope, we watch it with Mom!"

Morale of the Story: If you can't beat 'em, watch t.v. with 'em and THEN get a tattoo!

Oh and...YES...the look on Discovery Lady's face...not to mention, imagining whatever the hell Blogger Lady MUST be thinking...was totally worth the trip!

"Freeze-dried ice cream for everyone!"

Because, the really nice Discovery DID give us a whole bunch extra in schwag and commuting to New York can get really, really expensive - I'm just saying - Happy Love Thursday, everyone!

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In OTHER News:

This Full House Giveaway #11 - American Girl Kit Mystery Challenge for Nintendo DS

Controversy in the Mom Blogging Community - What, NOT again?

2008-07-01T17:38:28-04:00

My husband started his vacation this week and - although, he had to "pop" into work for a few hours this afternoon - the kids and I have him...all to ourselves...for the next 2 weeks!

I mean, working with a bunch of women, the man can SURE use a break. Trust me, I'm a woman, I know and can barely stand it, mah-own-self.

Put a bunch of women together, in the same room, without any bean dip, Cheetos or soothing libations and...well...it won't take us very long to find out exactly whose hormones are, you know, the strongest.

Add a couple of bloggers (who, it just so happens, are moms) to the guest list and...well...there's a pretty good chance that someone's going to leave the party, crying.

And I'm NOT just talking about "in a bad way," either.

I haven't opened my laptop in 3 days (did I mention my husband's home?) so, since my husband, Garth (not his real name) was at the office, I kicked the kids outside (yes, ALL of them) to get some work done and learned from the Queen of Spain that there's been a bit of controversy in the mom blogging world.

What, again?

Yes, but this time - rather than fighting over semantics - a mom blogger is verbally under attack, over verbage.

Et tu Twitter?

I mean, to some people, we bloggers(who are moms, I mean) already have a reputation for being argumentative and perhaps they're right (damn you, LatteMan!) and, being born female, I would tend to agree. On the other hand, because I am also a mom, I feel that it's only natural.

The mom blogging community is filled with sage advice from women who are more than willing to share what's on their minds, or in their hearts - most especially, if it helps a fellow mom - and I guess it comes from having been predisposed to constantly meeting the needs of others.

However, motherhood is nothing new - heck, some of my best parenting moments come from taking a page from my Hungarian grandmother's views on raising children and then sharing with the rest of the Internets - and, as with most things in life, we each have to decide, for ourselves, exactly where to draw the proverbial line between support and good judgment, or the lack thereof.

Just like foodies, pundits and techies, we mom bloggers are passionate about what we say (and do) so, it shouldn't come as a surprise, to anyone, when accusations (such as, "You are copying me?") are made, and the question of intellectual property comes into play, or when tempers begin to fly and then, suddenly, all that hard work you put into your blog...well...it just sort of loses it's value.

Must we be so critical of each other?

We ALL have a very distinct and powerful voice - I mean, even marketers are starting to listen...sort of - rather than nit-picking each other's blogs into silence, perhaps we should consider ourselves lucky that we are indeed a part of a community where you can almost ALWAYS find someone who is ready to listen and perhaps learn a cool thing, or two.

"Momeeeeeeee, she (or, he) is STILL copying me!"

It's like I tell my kids, emulation is the sincerest form of flattery.

"STOP copying me!"

On the other hand, If you don't have anything nice to say, or add anything positive to the conversation, then it really doesn't matter, does it?

Whether we speak in UPPERCASE, or no.

Either way, don't worry, I'll still respect you in the morning...and my husband will probably think I'm wrong, anyway...but, I'm still pretty pissed that I may have just proved LatteMan right, for a change, dammit!

Why...YES...we do kids parties, sort of.

2008-06-28T13:20:55-04:00

A lot of parents I know pride themselves in the fact that they just don't do kids parties, anymore. As well they should. It takes a lot of time and effort (not to mention, money) to put one together (not to mention, the BIG CLEAN, afterwards) yet, my kids have attended dozens of "theme-park-type" birthdays, where the child's entire class is invited and, you know, actually shows up, which often times leaves the rest of us feeling dazed and totally UGH-mazed!

As a mom, I can certainly understand a parent's need to celebrate their child. Still. Does my kid really need another 20, or more...I dunno...tangible reasons to understand how much he, or she, is loved?

So, in an effort to reinforce the fact that my husband, Garth (not his real name) and I are truly observant and sensitive parents, our standard policy on throwing parties has been one of total avoidance.

Until our kids took matters into their own hands and showed us, a thing, or two!

My 3 oldest kids were born in November, December and January, respectively (didn't know I was the poster child of planned parenthood, didn'cha?) add in all the MAJOR holidays in, around and between all the other minor stuff, like, sleeping and eating...well...let's just say our timing has NEVER been perfect and we just don't do kids parties.

My youngest, however - being the last in a long line of independent little ~~stinkers~~ thinkers - took matters into her own hands and sent out her own personalized birthday party invitations!

Damn good thing that the moms realized that the invitations may have been bogus - since, they were written on construction paper and crayon - and called me, wondering, when the "real party" would be?

DAMN.

Well, after much deliberation (so...is anyone sick, this week?) and going over the guest list (thankfully, she ONLY invited 6 of her friends) yesterday was as good a day as any - especially, since my 3 oldest kids planned the whole entire party - to prove me wrong!

Okay, I did help set up the collapsible gazebo, blew up the balloons (shuddup!) oh, and ordered the pizza.

But, the kids came up with some pretty fun games, including a pillow case relay race and water balloon toss.

And even had some fun with the...ahem...preparations.

Especially, when the opportunity to "hose" your 14-year-old sister presented itself and The Boy, you know, took full advantage of his new found super power, of course!

The weather held out, so we were able to keep the ruckus outdoors (thank you, Jesus) and it was HOT (and humid) so, Thing Two was more than happy to have been designated "Lifeguard on Duty," sort of.

Like the "Dainty Donut Race" the older kids planned activities in, around and between keeping the younger kids wet, as well as fed.

Ending with some righteous face painting - 2 points if you can guess the character...

...the obligatory Elvis tattoo...

...and annual beating something with a bat until it FINALLY breaks open and ALL the candy falls out!

Even the cake was down-sized to a respectable store bought brand of ice cream cake and Mini-me was more than happy to settle for the Yellow M&M, since...you know...they were all out of Sponge Bob, dammit!

Although, it wasn't a very expensive event - or, all that elaborate even - the other moms seemed to be very impressed that it was, you know, a family thing and Mini-me and her 4 little friends had a great time, too!

Wait a minute - didn't I say that she invited a total of 6?

[shrugs]

Well, one of her little friends never did R.S.V.P. (been there, done that) and one, well, her mom just called me this morning to apologize and tell me that she got her dates screwed up and really thought the party was, you know, today.

"I am mortified and embarrassed and so...so...sorry, because I really didn't know how to call you, or tell you..."

[heavy sigh]

"STOP!"

Silence.

"You had me at mortified!"

Because, you know, it's not like I have never, ever done that...either!

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In Other News:

This Full House Giveaway #10 - TAG Reader System!

What does my husband, Garth (not his real name) really look like?

Love Thursday: The Leader of the Pack Syndrome

2008-06-26T13:25:13-04:00

Among the graduations...birthdays...OMG!...the 15th anniversary of my 29th birthday...there are many other milestones our family has reached, recently, that I just haven't had the time (or, energy) to blog about (you're welcome) but, in their own way, are each very special and yet it's hard for me to understand that some may feel our family's triumphs to be horrifyingly mundane, just the same.

Including, my family.

"What do you mean, she's bridging, AGAIN?!?"

Tuesday night, Thing Two (the alarmingly mature-looking 12-year-old, on the right) bridged over with her troop from Juniors to Cadets and celebrated completing her 7th year in Girl Scouts.

"I mean, didn't they just do that, ALREADY?!?"

Yeah, 3 years ago.

[heavy sigh]

"Alright...relax...what time and where?"

My poor husband, Garth (not his real name) after all these years, it's finally come down to this.

"Do I need to pick up anything?"

His life has become one BIG honey-do list.

"Nope, I already stopped and got the cookies."

Aaaand I seemed to have misplaced my Domestic Diva pin...a...long...time...ago.

"WOW, the whole family's here?"

Yeah, I guess it surprises me, too. A little. No, they do NOT always get along (I know, act surprised anyway) but, ever since they were young, my husband Garth (not his real name) and I have raised our children as "a pack" and yet, try to empathize with them by letting them know, that we know, being in a family, this big, seems like a burden now.

[knocks on wood until knuckles bleed]

Perhaps, one day, it may mean that there's a better chance that someone's got your back and, as beautiful as the world is, there's always going to be someone, or something, ready to prove us wrong!

"Where's Mini-me?"

My husband had just finished talking with the troop dads (probably bonding over sports, tools, having to show up to these types of things, or something) and was surprised to find our row of metal chairs, one short.

"She's over there."

One of her sister's buddies has a younger sister, who happens to be in Mini-me's Brownie troop, too.

"Aaaand I think she'd be ready to move into their house, by next week."

Brothers and sisters can be tough - especially, so many and just wait until they get older - but, in the end, Thing Two knows that she is lucky we ALL showed up AND on time, too!

"Hey...Liz!"

One of the other troop moms was making her way through the crowd of parents, came over to me and I instinctively reached out for a hug (I'm one of those, too) but, she grabbed my arm and casually whispered into my ear.

"Did you remember to do ANYTHING for the leaders, this year?"

[eyes go wide]

"Did I mention, we bought cookies?"

[shrugs]

No, we are NOT the perfect family (shuddup, Sis) but, we sure as hell look good...especially, when we're together!

Aaaand my husband Garth (not his real name) has finally agreed that I really don't need to crop him out of pictures, anymore, either.

So, what DOES he really look like?

Kind of, sort of, you know, I'm just sayin'!

Happy Love Thursday, everyone!

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In Other News: This Full House Giveaway #10 - TAG Reader System

Nearly Wordless Wednesday: It's Really Not All That Hard, Being Green!

2008-06-25T00:33:31-04:00

Who knew? When mowing the lawn (in flip-flops) I would, single-handedly, give a whole new meaning to "going green," with my feet. Aaaand...YES...I live in the suburbs. So what? Whoever said you can't wear flip-flops with unpainted toe nails can kiss my hairy toes, too! Seriously, aren't you just a wee bit jealous?!?

Beware BlogHers, here I (and my skanky-ass toes) come!

Check out the Official Wordless Wednesday HQ
Tag, you're it: Wordless Wednesday

The 7 Words You Can (or) CanNOT Say in My House!

2008-06-23T11:31:38-04:00

George Carlin died, yesterday and - though, the man seemed to enjoy breaking the boundaries of good taste - his humor never failed to leave me speechless, or gasping for breath and nearly peeing my pants in absolute fits of laughter. Especially, after having kids (Kegels be darned!) when I found myself empathizing with Mr. Carlin's need to challenge conventional wisdom.

My parents immigrated to the U.S. in 1956 and he learned English from watching old westerns on television and he soon found out that the most successful way to include himself in conversation was by extensive use of..well...curse words.

No, Mr. Carlin's material was definitely NOT family-friendly. But, it was real and often times hit a very raw nerve - especially, in middle-class America and the furor over his bit about "The Seven Words You Can't Say on Television" is legendary.

Which, inspired me to write a parentally motivated (G) rated list of my own.

The Seven Words You CANNOT SAY in My House:

Decaffeinated
Stupid
Diet
Ovulating
Chargeit (Yeah, it's one word!)
Laundry
Housewife

The Seven Words You WILL NOT SAY in My House:

Decaffeinated
Privacy
Overslept
New
One
Irreplaceable
Twinkies

The Seven Words You MUST SAY in My House:

Share
Clearance
Please
Because
Enough
Antibiotic
Childproof

The Seven Words My Kids HAVE SAID in My House...A Whole Lot, Lately:

Damn
Fart
Crap
Butthead
Unfair
No
Annoying

The Seven Words I WOULD LOVE TO SAY:

We
Are
Moving
To
A
Bigger
House

R.I.P. George Carlin - your words will be missed - in my house, anyway!

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In Other News: Review Bloggers Carnival is up at This Full House Reviews!

This Full House Gives Back: Cuss, it's for a good cause!

2008-06-20T10:43:05-04:00

I have a potty mouth. No, it's NOT a very proud statement. Is it? Anyhow, once I became a mom - wow...has it been 14 years, already? - I tried really hard NOT to swear, especially around the kids.

They have this terrible habit of repeating things, you know?

So, as my children got older and their understanding the improper use of vocabulary got bigger, I started a "potty-mouth" jar. The kids paid 25 cents for each swear word and a dollar was donated for each time one slipped passed mom (or pop) and, let me tell you, I practically paid for our family vacation to Cape May, last year!

Today, we were able to make a rather large donation - with the help of my blogging friends - and I AM PROUD to say that I'm in pretty good company!

Click here to see who's talking smack, now...