This Girl on Girls

Thank you for reading!

2012-05-09T13:52:00.001-07:00

As you may have noticed, This Girl on Girls has been fairly inactive for the last few months. This isn’t because I’ve stopped caring about these issues, but that the way I care about them has changed in a way that isn’t easily communicated through a blog. For example, today, President Obama confirmed that he supports same-sex marriage:

“I have to tell you that over the course of several years as I have talked to friends and family and neighbors when I think about members of my own staff who are in incredibly committed monogamous relationships, same-sex relationships, who are raising kids together, when I think about those soldiers or airmen or marines or sailors who are out there fighting on my behalf and yet feel constrained, even now that Don’t Ask Don’t Tell is gone, because they are not able to commit themselves in a marriage, at a certain point I’ve just concluded that for me personally it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same sex couples should be able to get married.” (emphasis mine)

When I first started This Girl on Girls, I wouldn’t have hesitated before blogging about his announcement and celebrating it as a step towards marriage equality. Instead, my first reaction was to notice his emphasis on commitment and monogamy; it disappoints me that the only way we as a country can move towards equality is if it still looks ‘traditional,’ if it still fits into our idea of ‘normal’. Is it really progress if we’re ultimately still adhering to the same norms? What about those in non-monogamous relationships? What about those with multiple partners? What about those who simply do not want to marry? Do they not deserve the many benefits that, for some reason, are tied to marriage?

So although I absolutely do commend Obama for his support of gay men and lesbians, I no longer feel compelled to participate in that celebratory conversation—I’m more interested in how we talk about these issues and what terms frame our debates. Another example, in the same vein: we often talk about homosexuality as either biological or not. You’re born that way, or you’re not. Why don’t we question that binary? Why does it have to be one or the other? If we insist that it is biological, ‘natural,’ then the rights the gay movement might gain could be founded upon that belief, which then looks more like a justification of homosexuality. Where does that leave people who aren’t sure they were ‘born that way,’ who maybe even made a choice? Instead of asking if it’s nature or nurture, why don’t we insist that it doesn’t matter, that either way, romantic and sexual decisions between consenting individuals is okay? Why does identifying as something other than heterosexual have to be justified?

Unfortunately, I’m not sure that this blog is the place for that discussion. And on another level, my frustration with the severity of gender and sexual inequality in this country has left me tired of having to give evidence for why feminism is necessary or why gay people should be allowed to marry. I’m tired of defending what I see as self-evident. So for (mainly) these two reasons, I think it’s time for This Girl on Girls to retire. I am considering starting a new blog that would use theory of gender and sexuality to analyze current issues, but that’s still just an idea.

I would like to thank you for reading This Girl on Girls—the support I received from friends and family was really wonderful, and the whole process was a great learning experience and just a lot of fun. I hope that something on this blog made you think about these issues or question a previously held belief, and I also hope that you stay informed about these issues, that you talk to your friends and family about rape culture or transphobia or gender roles. In her book Black Sexual Politics, Patricia Hill Collins discusses her belief that change and progress occur most often on an interpersonal level—this can mean starting a conversation with a grandparent about a homophobic slur they’re using, or calling out a friend for trying to get a girl drunk at a party. This blog was intended to begin a conversation, but ultimately it’s up to you to keep it going.

With love and gratitude,

Sophia

Recommendations for staying informed on issues of gender and sexuality:

Sign up for The New York Times My Alerts to receive links to articles, as they're published, about women worldwide.
Tons of Tumblr websites focus on feminism: Who Needs Feminism, Feminism is for Lovers, Femblr
Feministe and Feministing
Bitch Magazine Blog and Ms. Magazine Blog

The (Feminist) Girl Scouts?

2012-02-11T15:18:00.000-08:00

Turns out that Girls Scouts is about more than learning to sew and selling cookies. The administration of the Girl Scouts, such as former CEO Kathy Cloninger in the video above, has made the organization into one which aims to bring young girls to their full individual potential.

According to their website, this mission involves promoting "girl-positive media images", ensuring that "girls feel emotionally and physically safe," promoting "girls' involvement in science, technology, engineering and math" and giving "a voice to girls in underserved communities." This is exactly the kind of organization our society needs to help raise confident, capable women. But because part of their mission involves access to information about sexual health, certain communities — namely the religious right — has tried to twist this common-sense approach into some sort of evil radical feminist lesbian agenda. In particular, the decision of the organization to stand behind one of its transgender members in Colorado, Bobby Montoya, caused certain troops to disband in protest. The statement of the statewide Girl Scout body was that "If a child identifies as a girl and the child's family presents her as a girl, Girl Scouts of Colorado welcomes her as a Girl Scout."

The Girl Scouts are also markedly more open-minded than their counterpart, the Boy Scouts. "We don't ask people to declare X, Y, or Z," said Lori Arguelles, communications director (source). "It's not in our makeup to have to define people like that. The Boy Scouts believes that to be gay is somehow immoral. That is not our feeling."

However, on their website the organization says it does not take a position or develop materials on issues of sexuality, birth control, or abortion, instead defining their role as helping "girls develop self-confidence and good decision-making skills that will help them make wise choices in all areas of their lives." So do the Girl Scouts have a feminist or pro-gay rights agenda? No. Can their goals be defined as feminist? I would say so.

Anna Maria Chavez, the current CEO of Girl Scouts, said she wanted bring more attention to the fact that in addition to selling cookies, Girl Scouts is "preparing women for leadership," information not currently "out there in the public domain" (source). That is what the Girl Scouts are focusing on, and the rest of us should take a page out of their book.

Further reading: At the Century Mark, It’s Not Just About the Cookies, The Right-Wing War on a Transgender Girl Scout, New Ways to be a Girl Scout.

Kurt Cobain on Rape

2012-01-05T10:14:00.000-08:00

“Rape is one of the most terrible crimes on earth and it happens every few minutes. The problem with groups who deal with rape is that they try to educate women about how to defend themselves. What really needs to be done is teaching men not to rape. Go to the source and start there.”

Obama: Ally of Women?

2011-12-11T15:34:00.000-08:00

Recently, President Obama's administration overruled the FDA's recommendation, banning those under 17 from purchasing emergency contraceptive over-the-counter without a prescription. This is "the first time a Health and Human Services Secretary has ever publicly overruled the FDA," according to a Times article.

The emergency contraceptive pill is essentially a strong dose of regular birth control pills. It is not an abortion pill, as it will not harm an existing pregnancy. Emergency contraceptive, as mentioned, works the same way that regular oral contraceptives do: it prevents eggs from being released from the ovaries, so that the sperm cannot meet the egg; it thickens cervical mucus, which blocks sperm and keeps it from joining with an egg; and it thins the lining of the uterus, making it more difficult for a fertilized egg to implant on the wall.

The Nation reported that "studies found no adverse health effects with non-prescription use and that younger women were able to understand how to use the product."

Nevertheless, “Obama says as a father of two daughters, the government should ‘apply some common sense’ to rules when it comes to over-the-counter medication," reported The Associated Press.

As one woman responded,"Well, I too have a daughter, and so many many pro-choice women. Who died and made Barack Obama daddy in charge of teenage girls?" Emily Douglas of The Nation agreed: "Too bad, Mr. President: there are thousands of girls and women who need to be able to make that decision without involving their family or doctor. You’re not their father; you’re their president."

Furthermore, Obama's concern about misuse of the product is illogical — for example, teenagers can buy and subsequently abuse cough syrup over-the-counter. What's really going on here is that as a society, we a) disapprove of non-marital sex and b) disapprove of uncontrolled female sexuality. Professor Deborah L. Tolman wrote in her study "Doing desire: Adolescent girls' struggles for/with sexuality" that "because any woman whose sexuality is not directly circumscribed by heterosexual, monogamous marriage is rendered deviant in our society, all adolescent girls bear suspicion regarding their sexuality."

Clearly, Obama's example of a ten-year old buying emergency contraceptive is a red herring for a larger issue. The Guttmacher Institute reported that while fewer than 1 percent of 11-year-old girls are sexually active, almost half of girls have had sex by their 17th birthdays. And, as mentioned, there are other things these girls could buy over the counter that, if abused, would have more severe side effects than emergency birth control.

This is a particularly interesting move for Obama to make, seeing as he says here he believe in the right of abortion but wants to reduce the amount of them:

I'm grateful we finally have a president who understands that making abortions illegal not only infringes on the rights of women, but isn't an effective means of limiting abortion. Look at Europe — several nations there have an all-around more positive approach to sex, sexual education, and access to contraceptives and health care. That's what lowers abortion rates. To see Obama ignore that reality, as well as the scientific fact that Plan B is by no means the most harmful over-the-counter drug, is disheartening.

However, Obama may still be one of the best president's we've had (especially of late) in terms of respecting women and promoting their equality. One of the first pieces of legislation he signed after taking office was the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act. The Act is named after a woman who, in the words of Obama "was just a good hard worker who did her job -- and she did it well -- for nearly two decades before discovering that for years, she was paid less than her male colleagues for doing the very same work." Ledbetter sued, and a jury found her employer guilty of wage discrimination, but ultimately the Supreme Court ruled employees had to file wage claims within 180 days of payment. The Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act overturned that ruling.

(image courtesy of the New York Times)

Obama also significantly increased funding for the Violence Against Women Act, established the White House Council on Women and Girls "to ensure all cabinet-level agencies think about how their work will impact on women and families" (source), overturned the "Mexico City Policy", and has appointed women to various key positions: Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State, Susan Rice as Ambassador to the United Nations, and Janet Napolitano as Secretary of Homeland Security. In total, one-third of his cabinet posts are filled by women.

In terms of how Obama matches up with other presidential candidates, I think it's fairly obvious to say that he will protect our rights better than any of his GOP rivals. But you know who I think would be the best person for that particular job?

A woman.

Further reading: "As the Father of Two Daughters" I Want the Government to Ignore Science, What Has Obama Done For Women? and Al Jazeera's Inside Story (video)

Why I Watched the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show

2011-12-03T19:58:00.000-08:00

Guess what I did Wednesday night? I watched the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, and I'm not sorry.

There's an idea that identifying as a feminist means that you can't be feminine or enjoy typically feminine activities, and in my opinion, those rules only exist to perpetuate the stereotype of feminists as angry, hairy lesbians.

I commend those who have abandoned makeup or shaving, because those habits stem from the idea that a woman's value is her beauty and thus support sexism and gender roles instead of feminism.

However, I also don't believe that wearing makeup prevents someone from discussing feminism with their friends and family, signing petitions, pointing out gender stereotypes in movies, becoming involved with local feminist organizations, reading the work of feminist scholars, and so on. There's plenty of things you can do to support feminism while wearing heels and lipstick.

If I didn't listen to music that in any way reflected or perpetuated sexism, there's a lot of music I wouldn't be able to listen to. If I didn't watch movies that placed characters into stereotypical gender roles, I'd miss out on many great movies. Consuming these products doesn't cancel out my convictions — it can sometimes reinforce them by making me think about issues in a new light or sparking a conversation with a friend.

(Note: Childish Gambino and Tyler the Creator are exceptions to this, at least for me. I find music that blatantly celebrates rape and rape culture impossible to enjoy.)

What I'm trying to say is this: feminists, don't feel guilty for enjoying a cheesy rom-com or for melting every time you see a baby or a puppy or for indulging in retail therapy. If being a feminist meant going against everything that society taught us to like, it would be a pretty exhausting identity to hold. What's more important than how you get ready in the morning or what you wear is how you treat yourself and others.

But back to the Victoria's Secret Show (this wouldn't be the blog it is if I didn't have something to say about it).

Gloria Steinem was surprisingly uncritical of the event:

"Well, it's employing those women," she said optimistically, laughing. "But women’s bodies are not just ornaments, they’re instruments," she added. "Walk around the street and look at real people. That’s much more helpful than those ads." Does she think average women wear sexy lingerie? "You know, somebody must be buying it in the stores, but I don’t think they’re wearing wings."(Source)

Though I agree that it does no use to blame the models themselves, I think the celebration we have of these body types is incredibly harmful. These are not average bodies. Andriana Lima, for example, doesn't eat solid food for nine days before the show. Despite the fact that we all know and talk about how unrealistic it is to set the standard of 'normal' and 'beautiful' by the bodies of models, those are the bodies we choose over and over again to celebrate, leading to a disproportionate amount of women with eating disorders and, especially in teenage girls, low self-esteem. Not only do we need a larger variety of body types represented in the media, but we just need to stop spreading this idea that a woman is only valuable if she's attractive to men.

Keep that in mind if you watch the show next year — I know I will.

Further reading: The Victoria's Secret "Fashion Show": A Feminist Rant, Weight Loss Never About Weight Loss

***Also I'd like to point out that for the sake of this post I make the assumption that all feminists are women. I know that this isn't true, and that there are men and other genders who identify as feminists!

We Are Over It

2011-11-13T20:02:00.000-08:00

I am over rape.
I am over rape culture, rape mentality, rape pages on Facebook.
I am over the thousands of people who signed those pages with their real names without shame.
I am over people demanding their right to rape pages, and calling it freedom of speech or justifying it as a joke.
I am over people not understanding that rape is not a joke and I am over being told I don’t have a sense of humor, and women don’t have a sense of humor, when most women I know (and I know a lot) are really fucking funny. We just don’t think that uninvited penises up our anus, or our vagina is a laugh riot.
I am over how long it seems to take anyone to ever respond to rape.
I am over Facebook taking weeks to take down rape pages.
I am over the hundreds of thousands of women in Congo still waiting for the rapes to end and the rapists to be held accountable.
I am over the thousands of women in Bosnia, Burma, Pakistan, South Africa, Guatemala, Sierra Leone, Haiti, Afghanistan, Libya, you name a place, still waiting for justice.
I am over rape happening in broad daylight.
I am over the 207 clinics in Ecuador supported by the government that are capturing, raping, and torturing lesbians to make them straight.
I am over one in three women in the U.S military (Happy Veterans Day!) getting raped by their so-called “comrades.”
I am over the forces that deny women who have been raped the right to have an abortion.
I am over the fact that after four women came forward with allegations that Herman Cain groped them and grabbed them and humiliated them, he is still running for the President of the United States.
And I’m over CNBC debate host Maria Bartiromo getting booed when she asked him about it. She was booed, not Herman Cain.
Which reminds me, I am so over the students at Penn State who protested the justice system instead of the alleged rapist pedophile of at least 8 boys, or his boss Joe Paterno, who did nothing to protect those children after knowing what was happening to them.
I am over rape victims becoming re-raped when they go public.
I am over starving Somalian women being raped at the Dadaab refugee camp in Kenya, and I am over women getting raped at Occupy Wall Street and being quiet about it because they were protecting a movement which is fighting to end the pillaging and raping of the economy and the earth, as if the rape of their bodies was something separate.
I am over women still being silent about rape, because they are made to believe it’s their fault or they did something to make it happen.
I am over violence against women not being a #1 international priority when one out of three women will be raped or beaten in her lifetime — the destruction and muting and undermining of women is the destruction of life itself.
No women, no future, duh.
I am over this rape culture where the privileged with political and physical and economic might, take what and who they want, when they want it, as much as they want, any time they want it.
I am over the endless resurrection of the careers of rapists and sexual exploiters — film directors, world leaders, corporate executives, movie stars, athletes — while the lives of the women they violated are permanently destroyed, often forcing them to live in social and emotional exile.
I am over the passivity of good men. Where the hell are you?
You live with us, make love with us, father us, befriend us, brother us, get nurtured and mothered and eternally supported by us, so why aren’t you standing with us? Why aren’t you driven to the point of madness and action by the rape and humiliation of us?
I am over years and years of being over rape.
And thinking about rape every day of my life since I was 5-years-old.
And getting sick from rape, and depressed from rape, and enraged by rape.
And reading my insanely crowded inbox of rape horror stories every hour of every single day.
I am over being polite about rape. It’s been too long now, we have been too understanding.
We need to OCCUPYRAPE in every school, park, radio, TV station, household, office, factory, refugee camp, military base, back room, night club, alleyway, courtroom, UN office. We need people to truly try and imagine — once and for all — what it feels like to have your body invaded, your mind splintered, your soul shattered. We need to let our rage and our compassion connect us so we can change the paradigm of global rape.
There are approximately one billion women on the planet who have been violated.
ONE BILLION WOMEN.
The time is now. Prepare for the escalation.
Today it begins, moving toward February 14, 2013, when one billion women will rise to end rape.
Because we are over it.

— Eve Ensler

Consent

2011-11-06T18:47:00.000-08:00

While It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is a show intended to be laughed at and not taken seriously, normally what makes a joke funny is the fact that it has a grain of truth, and this clip is no exception.

The way our rape culture works is that it generally depicts rape as something that happens when a stranger attacks a woman in an alleyway. The reality of the matter is that there are many situations in which a woman does not freely consent to sexual activity, but one reason or another (she knows the person, she was drunk, she chose to go to his room) her lack of consent isn't viewed as legitimate by society.

This conservative definition of rape leaves room for all kinds of behavior that is actually completely unacceptable. It's not okay to pressure your partner into sexual activity — if they say 'no' even once, it is your responsibility to respect that. It's not okay to try to get someone drunk or take advantage of their inebriation in order to have sex with them. It's not okay to assume that just because someone kisses you or comes back to your room with you, they must also want to do X sexual activity.

Asking for consent should always take the place of making assumptions, whether this is your first time being intimate with someone or whether you've dated them for years. But just asking for permission isn't quite enough — it's important to read the non-verbal cues your partner is giving you. Did they hesitate before they answer? Does their body language indicate that they're nervous, upset or unwilling? Is it possible that the way your bodies are physically positioned (e.g. you're already on top of this person) is intimidating to your partner and influencing them to say yes? Verbal consent does not always signify that the person giving consent made the decision freely and willingly, so always make sure that person is actually excited about the sexual activity you're proposing.

Unfortunately, we live in a society that constructs female sexuality as something that cannot function independently of men, but rather exists solely to bring male pleasure. This sense of entitlement to the female body so ingrained in our culture has very real consequences — the industry of sex work wouldn't exist otherwise, and it can help explain the high rates of sexual assault and rape.

But despite the constant messages that women are bombarded with, we don't owe anything to men. You don't owe a boy a blowjob just because you went back to his dorm room with him. If you and your partner have sex every day but one morning you wake up and don't want to, you have a right not to. Being a woman does not mean that you owe men your body.

Note: I frame a lot of this discussion in terms of heterosexual relationships, but I do acknowledge that men can be taken advantage of/sexually assaulted/raped and that consent is equally important in same-sex relationships.

Further reading: The Not Rape Epidemic, College Consent Policies and Definitions, How Guys Can Prevent Rape

Bitch It Out

2011-10-31T17:09:00.000-07:00

Though the term bitch, which historians believe was first used around the 13th century, originally meant a female mammal — usually a dog — by the 15th century it began to be used as a "term of contempt" (source). Since then, the definition of the word has broadened further, with popularity surging during the 1920s and 1960s, two of the most important eras for women in terms of gaining rights. (For a more in-depth history of the term, click here)

So what exactly makes a woman a bitch? There are several criteria to pick and choose from: being assertive, holding a position of power, rejecting a man, not being as nice/accommodating/lenient/co-operative as women are "supposed" to be. But women are called bitches for so many reasons that you start to think that just by virtue of being woman, you can be defined as a bitch.

Looking at how the term is applied to men can also be revealing. For example, if a man's friends feel he is being too sensitive or complaining too much, they may call him a bitch. Or if a man makes another male friend in some way subordinate, he has made that friend his bitch. Being overly sensitive, complaining/nagging, and/or being subordinate to men are feminine qualities that make someone deserving of the term. And that's why it's insulting to call a male a bitch — because you're saying he's exhibiting feminine behavior, which clearly is wrong and embarrassing.

So even when the word "bitch" isn't used specifically to describe a woman, it's still describing feminine behavior (which is assumed to be negative). A 2007 article in the Washington Post define "bitch" as a word that

"... we use culturally to describe any woman who is strong, angry, uncompromising and, often, uninterested in pleasing men. We use the term for a woman on the street who doesn't respond to men's catcalls or smile when they say, "Cheer up, baby, it can't be that bad." We use it for the woman who has a better job than a man and doesn't apologize for it. We use it for the woman who doesn't back down from a confrontation."

Some women consider the word bitch offensive in all contexts, whereas others see it as what's called an 'in-group' term: something that can be used non-offensively within the group (in this case, women) but is off-limits to those outside of it (men). Some women, including feminists, will self-identify as bitches, seeing the term as positive and empowering. But does this attempt to reclaim the word just make it seem more acceptable? It's like Ms. Norbury (Tina Fey) said in Mean Girls:

"Well, I don't know who wrote this book, but you all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores."

What do you think? Do you use the term? How often? What role does your gender play in how you use it?

Further reading: The Social Harms of "Bitch" (opens as a PDF) and The B Word

Why I'm a Feminist

2011-09-25T09:37:00.000-07:00

So one of the big questions a lot of people seem to have about feminism is "Why does it matter anymore?" There's this perception that because we won the right to vote, the battle is over. I say otherwise.

There's a pay gap. Women only earn 77% of what men do. I often hear things like "Well, women take maternity leave" or similar excuses in response, but that is not the explanation. According to an article on Time.com, it is "partly because women tend to cluster in lower-paying fields. The most-educated swath of women, for example, gravitates toward the teaching and nursing fields. Men with comparable education become business executives, scientists, doctors and lawyers — jobs that pay significantly more." This can go two ways: are these jobs not well-payed because women generally hold them, or is it more difficult for women to enter high-paying fields? There are other factors that contribute to the pay gap: for example, a man applying for a job with children is no less likely to get it than a man without, but a woman with children is. Men are also more successful at negotiating pay raises. The list goes on, and it cannot be reduced to "Well, women get pregnant and have to take leave."
We have a rape culture that blames the victim instead of the rapist. 1 in 3 women will be raped in their lifetime, yet our society still clings to the belief that all of those women must have been doing something wrong. They were drinking too much or flirting too much or not wearing enough — whatever the reason, it was their fault. Newsflash: the only thing that causes rape is rapists and our existing rape culture that allows them to get away with it.
Females are seen as sexual objects and men as sexual subjects. Even the way our science textbooks describe fertilization is incredibly biased and gendered. Many textbooks describe the "active" sperm "penetrating" the "passive" egg with its "whip-like" tail, when in fact the egg's sticky exterior causes the sperm to get stuck to it, and the harder the sperm tries to escape, the further it gets pulled in. The egg is not passive; it's a Venus Fly Trap. This perception matches with how we see women and men in general; women are supposed to be the pursued, not the pursuers (watch any rom-com). Women aren't supposed to want sex as much (and if they do, they are a slut or a whore). Women are supposed to read Cosmo and learn exactly how to please their man (wonder why their isn't a magazine like that for men?)
The idea that women should rear the children is institutionally reinforced. There is no paternity leave in the US (and actually, in most states, no paid maternity leave). Meanwhile in Sweden, 85% of fathers take paternal leave without anybody batting an eyelash due to "laws reserving at least two months of the generously paid, 13-month parental leave exclusively for fathers," according to the New York Times. And despite our society's desire to see women raising children, they are scorned for breast-feeding in public. This is a natural and necessary act. Breasts are only seen as inappropriate because we have sexualized them. They are not reproductive organs, they are designed to provide nutrition for babies.
Most people with eating disorders are women. This is not a coincidence. It is the result of an enormous amount of emphasis put on how a woman looks. We're the ones expected to wear makeup and high heels and get our hair and our nails done. We're the ones considered to be "not taking care of ourselves" if we don't do those things. We're the ones used as props to help sell alcohol or cars or cologne in advertisements. Girls as young as five and six are developing eating orders. As long as our society equates a woman's value with her beauty, this epidemic will continue.
Women make up 51% of the population and 13% of Congress. What I often hear in response to that fact is "well, this is a democracy and people are electing their leaders so this is representational of what people want." Yes, we do have the ability to vote for our own leaders, but that isn't the point. Only a few decades ago did women finally receive their right to participate in the political arena, which means they have an enormous amount of catching up to do. Since men have always been allowed to participate, they have a home-court advantage, if you will — they've always been leaders, so we assume men are natural leaders. Even women are susceptible to this kind of thinking (since it's constantly reinforced), which can help explain why not every woman is voting to elect every woman running for some kind of office. Then there's the fact that when women do run for office, they're subject to all kinds of sexist crap. Established news stations actually sunk to criticizing what Hillary Clinton wore during her campaign. Jokes were made about PMS. She was referred to as "ugly" and "a bitch." Basically, politics has always been a men's game and they want to keep it that way. Luckily for them, stereotypes of women as soft and emotional work in their favor.
Women do not have rights to their own bodies. Despite Roe v. Wade, access to abortions is becoming increasingly unavailable as politicians further their own ideological agendas. Most of these politicians are men who, needless to say, will never become pregnant. Yet these men are making the most personal decision of all for these women. Nothing about that is logical or fair — it's sexist at its core, and a tool to punish women for having sex.
The concept of virginity applies largely to women. Young men do not attend Purity Balls with their fathers, and though men still use and apply the term "virgin" to each other, a woman losing her virginity is considered much more significant. Whereas for males it's usually a celebratory event and often approached with a "the sooner the better" attitude, young women are shamed for having sex. Yet if they wait too long, they're a prude. This invented idea of virginity is used to distinguish the good girls from the bad girls. And can we talk about the fact that a woman's sexuality is always supposed to "belong" to a man? First she pledges to her father not to have sex, and then we she gets married and is passed off to another man, she gives him her virginity.
Only about 50% of movies pass all three parts of the Bechdel test. The Bechdel Test has the following criteria: the movies has to 1. have at least two women in it, 2.who talk to each other, 3. about something other then me. Read my previous post on the Bechdel test here. So what does this mean? That the movie industry is yet another one that is controlled chiefly by men — 83% of the directors, writers, and producers who worked on the 100-top grossing movies in 2007 were male. Movies today reinforce the idea that men should go out into the world and have adventures and solve problems while women stand on the sidelines, occasionally stepping in to serve as a romantic interest or damsel in distress. While of course there are exceptions to this, The Smurfette Principle is still applicable to most movies and reflects what we think a woman's place in society is.

So there you have it. Though there are plenty more, these are nine reasons that I'm a feminist*. What are yours?

*This list only pertains to problems within the U.S., but there are countless (and I would say more severe) examples of institutionalized sexism and oppression when you look outside of America's borders.

To SlutWalk or not to SlutWalk?

2011-09-19T14:35:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately, it turns out I can't write a blog post about SlutWalk, and that's because I wrote an article for a publication and it would be a conflict of interest.

Well, I can't write about the specific SlutWalk that I attended — but I can write about SlutWalk in general, and that's what I'll do!

This is how SlutWalk started: a Toronto policeman visited a law school to talk to students about personal safety. "I'm not supposed to say this," he told them. "However, women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized." Naturally, there were a lot of people who did not respond favorably to that comment, which epitomizes Western rape culture. In our society, rape is one of the only crimes that often puts the victim instead of the accused rapist on trial.

Thus, SlutWalk was born. Thousands of men and women marched in Toronto, many of them dressed provocatively, in protest of the abundant slut-shaming and victim-blaming that comes with many rape cases. "Satellite" SlutWalks quickly popped up throughout Canada, then spread to Europe and the U.S.

Since the SlutWalks began, the policeman has apologized and acknowledged that women "are not victims by choice" (source).

Despite the high number of participants in SlutWalks, it has also received a good deal of criticism, from the mainstream media and feminist communities alike: "Women and girls inside most aspects of the sex trade are raped, battered and murdered whatever they wear, whatever environment they are placed in. What does any Slutwalk do that makes any practical difference to that?" one blogger asks.

In addition to skepticism about the beneficial impact of SlutWalk, many are doubt that we can reclaim the term "slut," a deragatory term dating back to c. 1400 that has been used to describe promiscuous women (or sometimes, women who have sex, period).

"... the focus on "reclaiming" the word slut fails to address the real issue. The term slut is so deeply rooted in the patriarchal "madonna/whore" view of women's sexuality that it is beyond redemption. The word is so saturated with the ideology that female sexual energy deserves punishment that trying to change its meaning is a waste of precious feminist resources," write Gail Dines and Wendy J. Murphy in an article on the Guardian's website.

There has also been a negative reaction from many black feminists, who feel that they have been excluded from the movement by the term SlutWalk.

"Although plenty of Black women have been called “slut,” I believe Black women’s histories are different, in that Black female sexuality has always been understood from without to be deviant, hyper, and excessive. Therefore, the word slut has not been used to discipline (shame) us into chaste moral categories, as we have largely been understood to be unable to practice “normal” and “chaste” sexuality anyway," writes a guest contributor on Radalicious.com (follow link for full article). A black woman is more likely to be called a "ho" or a "bitch," so the term SlutWalk lead some women of color to feel marginalized by the feminist movement — once again.

So despite the good intentions of the organizers of and participants in SlutWalk, it is not without its complications.

What do you think about SlutWalks? Did you participate in one? Would you if you had the opportunity?

Further Reading: Protesters march in Toronto 'SlutWalk'
SlutWalk Toronto: Because We've Had Enough
Cop's rape comments spark wave of 'SlutWalks'
Four Brief Critiques of SlutWalk

Girls on Girls (Captain Cuts Remix)

2011-09-05T13:53:00.001-07:00

Beyonce & Beastie Boys - Girls On Girls (Captain Cuts Remix) by Captain Cuts
Thank you Lily for providing the blog with an anthem!

Hiatus!

2011-08-24T08:16:00.001-07:00

This Girl on Girls is on a brief hiatus while I am visiting family/hiking/moving back to school.

We'll be back around the beginning of September!

Poem About My Rights by June Jordan

2011-08-19T01:52:00.001-07:00

Even tonight and I need to take a walk and clear

my head about this poem about why I can’t

go out without changing my clothes my shoes

my body posture my gender identity my age

my status as a woman alone in the evening/

alone on the streets/alone not being the point/

the point being that I can’t do what I want

to do with my own body because I am the wrong

sex the wrong age the wrong skin and

suppose it was not here in the city but down on the beach/

or far into the woods and I wanted to go

there by myself thinking about God/or thinking

about children or thinking about the world/all of it

disclosed by the stars and the silence:

I could not go and I could not think and I could not

stay there

alone

as I need to be

alone because I can’t do what I want to do with my own

body and

who in the hell set things up

like this

and in France they say if the guy penetrates

but does not ejaculate then he did not rape me

and if after stabbing him if after screams if

after begging the bastard and if even after smashing

a hammer to his head if even after that if he

and his buddies fuck me after that

then I consented and there was

no rape because finally you understand finally

they fucked me over because I was wrong I was

wrong again to be me being me where I was/wrong

to be who I am

which is exactly like South Africa

penetrating into Namibia penetrating into

Angola and does that mean I mean how do you know if

Pretoria ejaculates what will the evidence look like the

proof of the monster jackboot ejaculation on Blackland

and if

after Namibia and if after Angola and if after Zimbabwe

and if after all of my kinsmen and women resist even to

self-immolation of the villages and if after that

we lose nevertheless what will the big boys say will they

claim my consent:

Do You Follow Me: We are the wrong people of

the wrong skin on the wrong continent and what

in the hell is everybody being reasonable about

and according to the Times this week

back in 1966 the C.I.A. decided that they had this problem

and the problem was a man named Nkrumah so they

killed him and before that it was Patrice Lumumba

and before that it was my father on the campus

of my Ivy League school and my father afraid

to walk into the cafeteria because he said he

was wrong the wrong age the wrong skin the wrong

gender identity and he was paying my tuition and

before that

it was my father saying I was wrong saying that

I should have been a boy because he wanted one/a

boy and that I should have been lighter skinned and

that I should have had straighter hair and that

I should not be so boy crazy but instead I should

just be one/a boy and before that

it was my mother pleading plastic surgery for

my nose and braces for my teeth and telling me

to let the books loose to let them loose in other

words

I am very familiar with the problems of the C.I.A.

and the problems of South Africa and the problems

of Exxon Corporation and the problems of white

America in general and the problems of the teachers

and the preachers and the F.B.I. and the social

workers and my particular Mom and Dad/I am very

familiar with the problems because the problems

turn out to be

I am the history of rape

I am the history of the rejection of who I am

I am the history of the terrorized incarceration of

myself

I am the history of battery assault and limitless

armies against whatever I want to do with my mind

and my body and my soul and

whether it’s about walking out at night

or whether it’s about the love that I feel or

whether it’s about the sanctity of my vagina or

the sanctity of my national boundaries

or the sanctity of my leaders or the sanctity

of each and every desire

that I know from my personal and idiosyncratic

and indisputably single and singular heart

I have been raped

be-

cause I have been wrong the wrong sex the wrong age

the wrong skin the wrong nose the wrong hair the

wrong need the wrong dream the wrong geographic

the wrong sartorial I

I have been the meaning of rape

I have been the problem everyone seeks to

eliminate by forced

penetration with or without the evidence of slime and/

but let this be unmistakable this poem

is not consent I do not consent

to my mother to my father to the teachers to

the F.B.I. to South Africa to Bedford-Stuy

to Park Avenue to American Airlines to the hardon

idlers on the corners to the sneaky creeps in

cars

I am not wrong: Wrong is not my name

My name is my own my own my own

and I can’t tell you who the hell set things up like this

but I can tell you that from now on my resistance

my simple and daily and nightly self-determination

may very well cost you your life

2011-08-17T09:58:00.000-07:00

After a lot of thinking, I've decided to add advertisements to my blog. I saw no reason for doing until recently, because the point of this blog was never to make money — I created it to express and share my thoughts, observations, etc. on a topic that I not only feel very passionately about, but also feel is important.

However, there is currently over $200 worth of books in my Amazon shopping cart; books like "The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women" and "Black Sexual Politics: African Americans, Gender, and the New Racism" and Gloria Steinem's "Outrageous Acts and Everyday Rebellions." These books aren't going to pay for themselves, so it seems to me that it makes sense to use this blog to pay for them — there's a progam called AdSense that allows blogger.com users to place advertisements on their page, and every time an add is clicked, it generates revenue for me. Again, I'm doing this because material I will read with the books I can buy will benefit the content that you read on this blog. I want to educate myself more on these topics so that I'll have more to share.

So, that being said, I hope y'all don't mind the advertisements, and thank you for reading This Girl on Girls!

Love Your Vagina

2011-08-16T11:19:00.000-07:00

Though you probably want to put in headphones if family/coworkers are around, this is too good not to watch.

Is Cosmopolitan Feminist Friendly?

2011-08-15T10:22:00.000-07:00

When I was younger, I was really, really into magazines. I would sneak my sister's Seventeen magazines into the bathroom so I could read them. I started buying Teen Vogue in the sixth grade. And as I stood in the check out aisle of the grocery store with my mother, I would covet Cosmopolitan: the magazine of all magazines.

I was enthralled. There really is no other word. The glamorous, sexy women on the cover, the oh-so naughty words like "sex" and "orgasm" in big bold letters on the cover — I wanted nothing more than to grow up and be the kind of woman who read Cosmo.

And for a while, I was. And then I really grew up, and I realized that Cosmo is pretty problematic.

First of all I should say that a lot of women's magazines have issues. There's the heavy focus on makeup, expensive clothing, and hair straightening techniques, which in my opinion tell women that there is something wrong with how they look naturally and they should fix it. Then there are the advertisements using women's bodies to sell products we don't even need — bodies that are a far cry from representing the average American woman's body, but nevertheless have been labeled by the media as ideal. My issues with Cosmopolitan are a bit deeper than that.

Before we get into that, we should start at the beginning. Cosmopolitan, which was founded in 1886, was originally a family magazine. Only in the late 1960s, with Sex and the Single Girl author Helen Gurley Brown at the helm, did it become a woman's magazine — whether it added fuel to the Sexual Revolution or was a result of it is a chicken-or-the-egg kind of scenario. Either way, Brown's belief that women should celebrate their sexuality instead of getting hitched as soon as possible translated well from her best-selling advice book into the pages of Cosmo. Brown said:

"I knew that women were having sex and loving it… I wanted my magazine to be their best friend, a platform from which I could tell them what I’d learned and talk about all the things that hadn’t been discussed before."

And indeed, it goes without saying that in an era when women were supposed to look pretty and get married, it was pretty startling for a magazine to put the sexual pleasure of women on the radar. Women having sex while single? And enjoying it? And talking about it? It wouldn't be completely inaccurate to call Cosmopolitan a revolution in itself.

Here's my problem: Cosmo was without a doubt what women needed at that time. But we're not in the 1960s anymore; we are not those women. And while the magazine has also changed, I'm not sure it has been for the better.

You see, while Cosmo may parade itself as a magazine that cares about women and wants to empower them, it sometimes does the complete opposite. For instance, if this really is a magazine for (straight) women, why are the women on the cover dolled up, sexualized, and half naked? If Cosmopolitan wants women to have positive body images, why do they photoshop the cover images? My theory is that instead of trying to make women feel insecure about themselves, they're counting on our insecurities to help sell magazines. We see a gorgeous woman on the front, and so we buy the magazine to figure out what we can do to look like her, to be like her. I doubt this is done consciously, but it would explain a few things.

Furthermore, it appears that Cosmopolitan has prioritized men over women. It's all about their pleasure: "Guys Rate 50 Sex Moves," "The Sexy Confidence Men Can't Resist," "The Sex Position They Lust For." And while there have been articles about vibrators and other forms of self-pleasuring, the focus is undoubtedly on what men want. And sure, I can understand why a woman would want to discover some cool new trick she can use in bed — there's nothing wrong with that. But if this magazine really wanted to empower women, it would put the spotlight on what we want and how we can get it.

Of course, this isn't a black-and-white issue: Cosmo also has sections on women's health, recipes, stories of sexual abuse, and articles about the workplace. I'll give it that. But that isn't what the bulk of the magazine about. So why do we need some other form of media telling us what we should want to look like or how to be a good girlfriend or how we should prioritize our lives? If Cosmopolitan had stuck true to it's supposed intent, it wouldn't be telling women the answers to all of these things, but encouraging us to make the decisions for ourselves.

I would really love some feedback on this: do you read Cosmo? What do you get from it? Do you have any criticisms? Do you feel empowered or inspired by it?

My Perfect Vagina

2011-08-13T09:12:00.000-07:00

So you've probably heard of rhinoplasty and liposuction and other plastic surgeries, right? Well, have you heard of labiaplasty? Yes, it is exactly what it sounds like: an elective cosmetic procedure that improves the appearance of the labia (that is, the labia minora, the folds or "lips" that protect that vagina). Because apparently, there's a right and wrong way that labia can look?

To be more specific, there's a way that labia are generally presented in pornography, and then there's the actual amount of diversity found in women. And, unsurprisingly, our society has taken its cue from porn and decided that all women should look like the actresses that star in it.

Labiaplasty is costly, painful (especially the recovery) and not only is it completely unnecessary, but the fact that this option exists will reinforce the insecurities women have about their bodies and will encourage them not to love and accept themselves, but rather change themselves. And what's really scary is that labiaplasty is the fastest growing form of cosmetic surgery in certain countries, such as the UK.

I really encourage you to watch "My Perfect Vagina," a documentary by Heather Leach that goes more in depth on the subject, including interviews with women who have undergone the procedure and exploring the reasons for doing so and the consequences thereof. You can watch it online here for free.

There is good news though: women aren't the only people fighting this disturbing phenomenon. An artist in Brighton, Jamie McCartney, created "The Great Wall of Vagina" in response to women feeling that their labia didn't "look right." Why did he do so?

"It became clear to me whilst working on a not dissimilar piece for a sex museum that many women have anxiety about their genital appearance. It appalled me that our society has created yet one more way to make women feel bad about themselves. I decided that I was uniquely placed to do something about it."

You can go here for the website and watch a short documentary about the exhibit here.

Essentially what's happened is that once again an industry has decided to cash in on the fact that they know women have been made insecure by society and the media. There is no "right" way that labia are supposed to look. Just like any other body part, from noses to ears to chins, diversity is completely natural and normal. Instead of embracing that, they're trying to erase it by encouraging women to mutilate the most private, delicate parts of their bodies.

So if you're a girl reading this, I'm begging you: learn to love every piece of yourself instead of changing it. And if you're a guy, please realize that labia do look different depending on the woman, and if you make fun of or criticize a girl for how she looks down there, you're pushing her to feel more like this kind of surgery is okay. And if you haven't gathered how I feel about it by now... it's not.

Orgasm, Inc.

2011-08-11T12:03:00.000-07:00

Oprah, I'm disappointed in you.

See, I thought she was a little smarter than that. I thought a strong, powerful, intelligent and influential woman like Oprah Winfrey would recognize how completely absurd and detrimental the creation of a disease called "female sexual dysfunction" is.

Here is one definition of FSD:

"If you have persistent, recurrent problems with sexual response or desire — and if these problems are making you distressed or straining your relationship with your partner — what you're experiencing is known medically as female sexual dysfunction.

Female sexual dysfunction isn't uncommon — many women experience problems with sexual function at some point in their lives. Female sexual dysfunction can be a lifelong problem, or it can happen later in life after you've experienced a period of satisfactory functioning.

Female sexual dysfunction has many possible symptoms and causes. Fortunately, they're almost all treatable. Communicating your concerns and understanding your body and its normal response to sexual activity are important steps toward gaining sexual satisfaction."

Basically, the pharmaceutical industry has decided that if a woman isn't having satisfying sex, there must be something wrong with her. Oh, it couldn't possibly be a lack of communication between a woman and her partner, or the fact that female masturbation is still kind of taboo in our society, or how male sexual pleasure is simply deemed more important (see Cosmo). No way. If a woman isn't achieving orgasm, it's definitely because there's something wrong with her.

So despite the fact that most women cannot achieve climax through vaginal intercourse alone (clitoral stimulation is generally necessary), the prevailing attitude is that that's how normal women can have an orgasm — an idea which is, of course, reinforced by the media. How many times have you been watching a movie or TV show that shows a woman screaming and moaning and breaking things while having vaginal intercourse? Probably several times... yet that's simply not the case.

And although the attempt to invent a female Viagra (to cure this supposed "FSD") is recent, the theory that women who cannot achieve orgasm through vaginal intercourse alone is not new. Here's what good old Freud had to say:

"Whenever a woman is incapable of achieving an orgasm via coitus, provided the husband is an adequate partner, and prefers clitoral stimulation to any other form of sexual activity, she can be regarded as suffering from frigidity and requires psychiatric assistance." (source)

Charming.

His theory contradicts what doctors (and statistics) say about women and orgasms: "80 percent of women cannot orgasm from intercourse alone, says Ian Kerner, PhD, author of She Comes First. Still, "many women are socially wired to expect to orgasm via penetration," he says." (source)

The documentary Orgasm Inc. (trailer above) explores the medical industry's treatment of the female orgasm. It's fascinating and incredibly disturbing all at once. One woman, who participates in a clinical trial for a device called the Orgasmatron (which by the way, has to be inserted up her spine) says she just wants to feel "normal" — despite the fact that she can achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation. This woman, and probably thousands like her, is made to feel like a freak because she can't do something that her body generally isn't even supposed to do. All so that some companies can make some money.

It's disgusting to me that the self-esteem, sexual lives, health and happiness of women is being sacrificed by these companies, who are willing to play mind games and convince women there is something wrong with them (when there isn't!) in order to turn a profit.

So, I'll say it again, to be clear: if you cannot have an orgasm through vaginal penetration alone, there is nothing wrong with you. Don't let any company or business convince you otherwise. Don't allow your body to be violated and used as a guinea pig. Don't allow greedy business men to prevent you from learning about what actually works for you. Educate yourself and take your pleasure into your own hands... no pun intended.

Further reading: The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm.

We're on Facebook!

2011-08-10T07:42:00.000-07:00

First Twitter... now Facebook... next, the world. Go like and share the Facebook page of This Girl on Girls!

Jane Fonda

2011-08-06T06:55:00.001-07:00

I am not Free While Any Woman is Unfree

2011-08-04T15:10:00.000-07:00

"I am a lesbian woman of Color whose children eat regularly because I work in

a university. If their full belies make me fail to recognize my

commonality with a woman of Color whose children do not eat because

she cannot find work, or who has no children because her insides are

rotted from home abortions and sterilization; if I fail to recognize

the lesbian who chooses not to have children, the woman who remains

closeted because her homophobic community is her only life support,

the woman who chooses silence instead of another death, the woman who

is terrified lest my anger trigger the explosion of hers; if I fail

to recognize them as other faces of myself, then I am contributing not

only to each of their oppressions but also to my own, and the anger

which stands between us then must be used for clarity and mutual empowerment,

not for evasion by guilt or further separation. I am not free

while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different

from my own. And I am not free as long as one person of Color

remains chained. Nor is any one of you."

What Is Feminism?

2011-08-04T09:18:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my sister shared with me this man's definition of feminism (sounds a bit strange, but it's an interesting read).

This got me thinking: what exactly is feminism?

I know this much: it's more than thinking men and women should be equal. Because I've had many, many conversations with people who were not feminists, and have heard the following many, many times: "I mean, yeah, I think men and women should be equal, but they pretty much are." In my opinion, feminism is the recognition that while now men and women have many of the same legal rights, there is still a lot of work to be done.

But of course it's more complicated than that. I see feminism as a focus on equality between men and women, but (for me, at least) it stems from a larger belief than all people were created equally and should be treated as such, regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation, nationality or gender. It seems a bit hypocritical to me to say that two parties (i.e. men and women) should be treated equally, but other parties (i.e. minorities, LGBTQ people) shouldn't.

And to be clear, only a minority of feminists are separatist feminists; that is, feminists who believe that men and women should not interact (this usually stems from a belief that women are superior).

Speaking of separatists feminists (who, once again, only constitute a teeny tiny portion of the feminist population), here are some other "types" of feminism:

Liberal feminism: Considered the most common form, liberal feminism pushes for changes within the system rather than changing the system itself (such changes usually take place in the form of laws). Liberal feminists believe that women have the power to achieve equality themselves, that it is unnecessary for society to adapt to the needs and wants of women. Essentially, liberal feminism stresses individual empowerment.

Socialist feminism: Social feminists call for drastic changes in the structure of society, which they believe is currently set up in a patriarchal system that oppresses not only women, but also the poor, minorities, etc. Social feminism views social class and the economy as things that are linked to sexism, and therefor opposes the capitalist system. Socialistparty-usa.org defines social feminism as a movement which "confronts the common root of sexism, racism and classism: the determination of a life of oppression or privilege based on accidents of birth or circumstances. Socialist feminism is an inclusive way of creating social change. We value synthesis and cooperation rather than conflict and competition."

Radical feminism: Like social feminism, radical feminism believes there needs to be major reconstruction socially and politically in order to eliminate the patriarchal systems that oppress women. Radical feminists ("radical" meaning "from the root") believe that the root of inequality between men and women lies in how society constructs gender, and, consequently, gender roles, rather than in the legal system.

Cultural/difference feminism: Cultural feminists believe that there are clear differences between men and women, but that values inherent to women should be valued more. Cultural feminism praises women and their qualities as a basis for achieving equality rather than arguing that minimal differences exist between men and women.

Conservative feminism: This branch is often not recognized at all by other feminists, who tend to see conservative feminists as major opponents to achieving equality. These feminists believe that women entering the workforce and, as they see it, trying to be more like men, will harm the family structure and deny women things they need, such as children, intimacy, stable relationships, etc.

These definitions (and these are just a few — there are many more branches of feminism) are based on my own research and interpretation thereof, so I encourage you to do your own reading, too!

I'd also like to discuss black feminism and second-wave/third-wave feminism, but I feel that they warrant individual posts, so keep an eye out for those!

The Runaways: BAMFs

2011-08-03T02:58:00.000-07:00

Last year, Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning starred in The Runaways, an interpretation of Cherie Currie's (the original lead singer) memoir "Neon Angel: The Memoir of a Runaway" — and I am so glad that they did, otherwise who knows when I would have been exposed to the pure awesomeness that is The Runaways.

During a time when rock & roll was dominated by men, these five women successfully entered the scene, proving that female singers could be more than just pretty pop icons and opening the door for all-girl rock bands (such as The Go-Go's, the Donnas, and The Plasticines).

Although clearly sex appeal was still involved (namely with Currie, who was 15 when she joined the band), the Runaways never aimed to become successful based on that: they actually knew how to make music, and that's how they succeeded — not just because they were some of the few women making rock & roll music, but because they were good at it.

Cherry Bomb

Where The Boys Are

Why is Menstruation Taboo?

2011-07-27T02:47:00.000-07:00

There are several signs that a teen has hit puberty: body hair, growth spurts, etc. Typically when a boy hits puberty, his voice will deepen. As for girls — we get our periods. There, I said it: period. Blood. Cramps. Oh my!

A few months ago my mom and I were talking about periods (I don't remember what exactly) and my dad became incredibly uncomfortable, eventually asking us to stop talking about it around him and even forbade me from saying the word "tampon." Now, I don't really blame him — he grew up with three brothers, so he probably wasn't really exposed to this particular part of Mother Nature. But it's not just him — periods are kind of taboo in general. Why else did I spend years sneaking tampons into the sleeve of my sweater before being excused to go to the bathroom? I was embarrased and ashamed, which come to think of it, is completely ridiculous. Menstruation is completely normal and natural. And do I even need to point out that a woman (e.g. your mother) getting her period means she is capable of having children (e.g you)?

Not only is it kind of taboo to talk about periods (except, I've noticed, from woman to woman) but it has a lot of negative stigma attached to it, namely when it comes to PMS (pre-menstrual syndrome). Too often I've heard PMS attached to words like "crazy" and "bitchy" and "illogical" by both people I know and in the media. And while I admit that I do PMS I am more emotional, I would also like to point out that that is just my experience. I have plenty of friends who say they don't feel any different before their period (and yes, if the "pre" doesn't give it away, PMS isn't something that occurs during a woman's menstruation). And the notion that PMS would prevent a woman from being a capable leader, as we heard frequently during the last presidential election, is beyond absurd:

During a segment of The O'Reilly Factor to discuss "What is the downside of having a woman become the president of the United States?" author Marc Rudov's initial response to the question was, "You mean besides the PMS and the mood swings, right?" Rudov later asserted: "Well, you know, I'm joking. Of course, the main problem I have is if a woman has a female agenda." (source)

It gets even worse in other cultures though: Islam and Judaism forbid women from entering a temple to worship when they are on their period, because they are considered "dirty" or "impure." Shintoism also forbids menstruating women from climbing mountains sacred to the religion. Even some conservative Orthodox Christian churches forbid a woman from receiving communion while menstruating, or in some cases from attending church at all. It amazes me that what gives a woman the ability to create life marks her as impure. And while some cultures celebrate a woman's first menstrual cycle, the prevailing attitude is still a negative one. This isn't logical, let alone fair to half the population who (in addition to experiencing cramps, in many cases) are consequently made to feel ashamed of their "dirty, impure" bodies. Reality check: her body is doing exactly what it's supposed to be doing. We should all embrace that.

For information on what happens during a menstrual cycle, click here.

Keep Ya Head Up

2011-07-25T14:55:00.000-07:00

And since we all came from a woman
Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman
I wonder why we take from our women
Why we rape our women, do we hate our women?
I think it's time to kill for our women
Time to heal our women, be real to our women
And if we don't we'll have a race of babies
That will hate the ladies, that make the babies
And since a man can't make one
He has no right to tell a woman when and where to create one
So will the real men get up
I know you're fed up ladies, but keep your head up