This is How it Feels:

MTV VMA 2010 Predictions.

2010-09-10T16:01:00.000-04:00

Well, it's VMA Season, and the big show is right around the corner (airing Sunday, Sept. 12th @ 9pm). I'm expecting some good performances, crazy antics, some really "hot" red carpet looks, and some really "not" red carpet looks.

And naturally, I'm gonna tell you all about it.

But that will be monday's post. For today, you all will have to settle for my predictions of who's gonna win what.

Best Direction:

I have to give this one to Lady Gaga - Bad Romance, swearsies, it's not just because I'm a little monster. I really think the artistic value of this video is very Avante Garde, and the direction is impeccable. I really think she's gonna take this home.

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Best Editing:

While I would like to again, give it to Bad Romance, I know that video was more about direction rather than editing. I really think Rihanna - Rude Boy is going to win it, and it's well deserved. While some may argue that this video was a rip-off of M.I.A. - Boyz (no one likes that ho, anyways), I still think that the editing quality alone is amazing. The entire video was shot in front of a green screen, and the style really has a fun quality that returns to Ri Ri's barbados roots.

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Best Choreography:

This one is a toss up between Lady Gaga - Telephone, and Beyoncé - Video Phone. Both videos feature the other artist, and when these two get together, Pop Culture Gold is born. Both have amazing choreography. Gaga's choreo has more of a dance feel, while Bey's is more of a burlesque-type of video. This round should be going to Gaga for Telephone, however. It's really a win-win for both artists.

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Best Hip-Hop Video:

In my opinion, Jay-Z & Swizz Beats - On to the Next One should take this. However, they've got some real competition in this category because of the commercial success of Airplanes - B.O.B. feat. Hayley Williams. This is gonna be an interesting battle, but I believe B.O.B. is taking this one home.

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Best Pop Video:

There are some really amazing contenders in this category, and it seems the ladies have it on lock. The only male in this category is B.O.B. - Nothin' on you feat. Bruno Mars, but he doesn't stand a chance against the likes of Video Phone, California Gurls, Tik Tok, and Bad Romance. This category is a toss up between (as much as it pains me to say it) Katy Perry - California Girls, and Gaga - Bad Romance.

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Best Male Video:

There are a lot of really strong contenders for this category, as all of the nominees have celebrated commercial success for each of their individual songs. It's a toss up, but I'd like to see Drake - Find your Love take the moon man home.

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Best Female Video:

Once again, really strong contenders for this category. And if Taylor Swift takes this home for that bullshit ass video "Fifteen" I'll punch myself in the face. Once again, I think this one is between California Gurls and Bad Romance. Crossing my fingers for Gaga.

Best Collaboration:

This tie goes three ways between the commercial success of B.O.B. and Hayley Williams, R&B superstars Jay-Z and Alicia Keys, and Pop culture Gold Lady Gaga and Beyoncé. All three of these collaborations have celebrated outstanding commercial success, however, I think Gaga and Bey are gonna take it home for Telephone. Or Empire State of Mind... Or Airplanes.... damn.

Video of the Year:

This one, hands down, Gaga for Telephone. Setting records for youtube hits with her over 9 minute long video where she shocks and amazes with her scantily clad performance and steamy makeout session with a T-Boy.

Best New Artist:

I think the biebs is gonna get this one for Baby. While I can't stand the little fucker, his music is catchy (even for me) and he's celebrated Beatles-like success among his fans and commercially. A close second would be Nicki Minaj. I think she said it best when she rapped on Gyptian's remix for Hold Yuh. "Ain't Do A Feature That Wasnt On A Billboard Hunny." I want her to be the one to take it home, however, we all know it'll be the biebs.

This raps up my pop culture predictions for the 2010 VMA's. For more information, and to cast your votes, you can head over to vma.mtv.com. Tune in Sunday, September 12th at 9pm for the show itself. Check your local listings. Tune in to my podcast next friday to hear me talk shit about everyone there, and you can also follow my twitter that night for updates on the show <3

Thanks, @LadyGaga

2010-08-20T21:32:00.001-04:00

For making it impossible for me to move on with my life.

Girl, I love you, I really do. But guys didn't want to call me BEFORE you released "Telephone."

Now, you just narrowed my chances of getting the coveted 'phone call' from slim to none.

I mean, for realsies, Gagaloo. I hate aim. I hate chat. I hate text. I would MUCH rather have a phone call with someone who I can't see in person. Texts are so impersonal, so are FB messages, emails, AIM chats, etc.

Anyway, all anyone wants to do these days is text you, and I long for the old days where people USED to 'telephone' each other. I mean, it was bad enough BEFORE "Telephone" came out. Now, it's like anyone who might've called before doesn't want to call now cuz they don't wanna seem like the desperate one, or some silly, stupid rule that people play when it comes to "Lovegames", which I really don't understand, btw.

Anyway, could you like, maybe, release a song that makes it okay for the guy to call if the other guy really likes this guy? Or even write a song about writing letters. I love writing letters. I love getting letters. It makes me feel like I'm in "The Notebook" or something.

June Cleaver is actually Manic Depressive.

2010-08-18T03:20:00.003-04:00

Call it a coping mechanism, but whenever I get really upset with things that aren't going my way, I clean.

Perhaps it's because I have way too much time on my hands, but I think it has much more to do with the fact that when I feel like I'm not in control of my life, I have to do something to retain some semblance of order. This is why I clean. It's the only thing I have absolute control over in my life.

You can usually measure how far gone my marbles are by the amount of cleaning I am doing. For instance, if I am reorganizing (DVD's shoes, etc.), there's no need to worry.

However, if it's 2am and I am hosing down the driveway and gas-ing up the lawnmower in my yellow corona hot pants, start looking up the number for the crazy house.

What are your coping mechanisms?

crazy people shoes.

2010-08-16T17:02:00.003-04:00

I spent the better part of last week in the looney bin. Yup. Naturally, I'm gonna tell you all about it.

Of course, there is the fair amount of blame that I want to place... I want to blame him, but I know I can't. I want to blame the army, but I know I can't. I want to blame myself... but I know I can't. I know that it's not about blame. While certain circumstances in my life may have contributed to what I am experiencing emotionally and mentally, it's not those things that led me to do what I did.

It was a song that sent me into my emotional state, made me realize a lot of things that I didn't want to. While the song stirred up plenty of uncomfortable feelings, it wasn't the emotional state I was in that made me feel like there was only one way out. What pushed me over the edge was the feeling of hopelessness. I feel like I've been fighting my whole life against some invisible force, and I was tired. I felt like I would always be suffering, always fighting. Nothing I tried had permanently solved my problem, so I reached for a bottle of Pine Sol.

I didn't swallow any of it. The taste was enough to jar me to my senses, the way it burned my tongue. I closed it up, laid down, and went to sleep. This isn't the first time I've come close to hurting myself. I realized that night, I should really get help. Out of desperation, I went with my mother, and a friend, to check myself into the Mental Health Unit (aka Psych Ward, or Looney Bin).

My whole experience at times was surreal. At first, I was terrified. Both of my parents work in the Mental Health field, and I had developed, mostly due to my father, an ignorant concept of the system as a whole, as well as the people who are in the system. I am not proud to admit that I looked down on people who needed to get help. I viewed them as weak, or sometimes dangerous.

Sitting in my room, dressed in a hospital gown, paper pants, and crazy people shoes, watching all the Loonie's walking by outside my room, I thought to myself, "I'm not like them. I'm different. I've just been under a lot of stress lately."

I don't think that it was one simple thing that changed my mind. It was a culmination of the experiences I had while in the hospital, from witnessing my father's denial about my situation, to participating, and listening to the experiences of the other people in group therapy, to actually getting to know these people one-on-one. I came to the realization that I wasn't like the people in this place. They were just like me.

The people I met at St. Benedictine's were everyday people. Some were affected by psychological disorders, some by substance abuse, and some were just tired.... like me. I then became painfully aware of my own sad ignorance, but what this helped me come to terms with was that Depression is a sickness. It doesn't have any physical signs (such as a broken leg), and so their is still a social stigma connected to it, but it is still an illness. Illnesses can affect anyone, and everyone. Most importantly, illnesses can be treated.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a therapy that was developed to parallel Buddhist meditative practice. The therapy encompasses mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. Basically, it teaches you about your emotional mind, your rational mind, and your wise mind (the balance of the two). The therapy gives you the skills you need to recognize, accept, and process your emotions in a rational way.

As I let go of my dense, ignorant ideas about mental health and the treatment of related conditions, and learned about new therapies, I was open to try new ideas. I wanted to get help, and was open to any ideas that I hadn't tried already. When my doctor prescribed Prozac, I had to swallow my pride (and the pill). My ideas about medications and people who took them paralleled my ideas about mental health facilities and the people who were in them. When I read up on my medicine, I discovered the difference between being dependent on medications, and using them in treatment. Medication, when correctly used, is used in conjunction with other types of therapy, so that the patient can eventually come off of the medication. Meds are a tool, nothing more. They don't fix the problem, but they aid in bringing you to the point where the therapy can actually do its job.

Being in the looney bin was an experience. I realized the extent of my condition, but more importantly realized that there is hope. There is a way out that doesn't include me off-ing myself. Suffering from depression doesn't make you weak. Depression can affect everyone and anyone. The real sign of strength is getting help, and that includes swallowing your pride. The only way to get over the Social Stigma that is still connected to anything mental health is to talk about it. We need to talk about it so that we can realize that it affects everyone, and that there is nothing wrong with admitting you need help, or needing help in the first place.

P.S. I also had time to read while I was in the hospital. I read this book, it's funny stories helped pass the time and pick up my day.

The Rocky Rhodes Special - Dirty Habits! (Season 1, Episope 4)

2010-08-06T21:17:00.002-04:00

Image via Wikipedia

Tonight on the podcast we are talking about dirty habits!

Including, but not limited to:

Chronic Masturbation
Nosepicking
Farts
Burping in public
etc.

Tune in! It's gonna be a great show!

To listen live click here. Or if it's after the show, you can still listen to the archived version!

We go live at 11pm EST!!

Love the Way You Lie.

2010-08-05T23:36:00.000-04:00

It's not glorifying or romanticizing abusive relationships. It's not saying their okay... it's simply a song ABOUT an abusive relationship. It's a real look, which is why so many people relate to this song.

It's about your boyfriend, freshman year in college, who you love, but he beats the high holy hell out of you as easily as he blinks. You stay with him because you love him. You love him so much and you think that love is going to change him. You think he's going to wake up one day and realize how much you love him, and how much he loves you. He's gonna realize how much you really mean to him. He's gonna realize how wrong he's been to you, and spend his entire life making up for it (Or in the least, shaping up).

But it's not gonna happen. It's gonna get worse and worse. Oh, he'll change if he really wants to. He'll get the help he needs. And maybe, just maybe he really loves you and is willing to change for you. But if that were the case he would have already done so... BEFORE bashing your skull into a concrete wall...

or tying you to the bed and setting the house on fire.

The one where I act kinda slutty?

2010-08-01T12:00:00.000-04:00

What do you get when you take a horse farm, a few too many glasses of wine, a rainstorm, myself, and some baby oil and mix them all together?

Questions? Comments? Concerns?

Need a napkin?

Anyway, so I think I really want to try modeling/acting, but I don't know how to get started, lol. So if you want to pay me to look pretty, contact me at hampton.rhodes@gmail.com

The Rocky Rhodes Special - Kids need to be beat!

2010-07-30T12:00:00.007-04:00

Hey there,

Tune in tonight to the Rocky Rhodes Special, where we will be talking about how kids these days need to be beat. Oh, yes, we are talking about the screaming kids in Walmart, how that mother should have said "No" after the FIRST slice of cake, and how maybe the parents of young girls shouldn't allow them to parade around like half naked little prostitutes.

You can listen here, and call in to answer our question of the week!

*disclaimer - I use the term "beat" loosely, but I do not condone child abuse*

Oh, and JennyMac is having a giveaway!

Chase what matters. (like your tail)

2010-07-28T12:00:00.016-04:00

by popular demand (and by that I mean Sara without an H DEMANDED to see pictures). So, without further ado, ladies and gentlemen....

Caesar Rhodes.

~~~

He's part Pit Bull, part Doberman, and 100% crazy and full of luff.

~~~

He eats everything:

Italian loafers, combat boots, belts, iPod cables, bills.... you get the idea.

~~~

He's peed on my egyptian cotton sheets

~~~

Twice.

~~~

He's teaching me patience, responsibility, humility, and love.

~~~

Oh, I swear he's Marley's (from Marley & Me) evil twin

~~~

He's my puppy.

~~~

I think I love him more than ~~most~~ some of my family...

~~~

And I've blamed a ~~few dozen~~ one or two farts on him, naturally.

~~~

And it's not any of that.

Not the barking, chewing, farting, peeing, pooping, or biting that I see when I look at my dog.

~~~

It's the quite moments:

~~~

like when he went to sniff my brother's cat and the sonofabitch scratched him in the eye =\

and then he ran from one end of the house all the way to the other end and under my desk...

and he cried himself to sleep in my arms.

~~~

I think raising him has helped me get a better grip on what you mommy bloggers go through. Not saying your kids are dogs, but having someone that I am solely responsible for, not being able to go out because I have to be home to take care of the pup. He's like my kid.

And alarm clock.

Chase what matters,

even if it's your tail.

On Cordoba House:

2010-07-26T12:00:00.007-04:00

Image by Storm Crypt via Flickr

Recently sparking debate here and across the country are plans to build a mosque blocks from ground zero. Opponents of the mosque say it is disrespectful to those who died in the 9/11 attacks, and some have likened it to building a memorial in honor of WWII Kamikaze pilots.

At odds here is the issue of whether or not the building of a mosque actually does disrespect the memories of those who died on 9/11.

One argument is that the buildings around the World Trade Center should be made national landmarks, which would protect them from being torn down, preventing the mosque from being built. While this is a valid point, it begs the question: If it were a Church rather than a Mosque, would people still not want it to be built solely to preserve the landmark status of the building's around it? I believe the answer to that question to be NO. The committee that presides over this issue will meet later this summer to decide whether or not to make those buildings a national landmark.

The problem people are seeming to have with this center being built, focuses directly on its Islamic roots. People are viewing the building of a mosque as a memorial to the 9/11 terrorists (in so many words). What many do not get, is that there is a distinction between the Islamic Fundamentalists and the rest of Islamic believers. While the people who attacked us on 9/11 were Muslim Extremists, it was not the Muslim faith that attacked America. To blame all muslims for the actions of a terrorist street gang, would be the equivalent of blaming Christianity for the actions of the Klu Klux Klan.

I'll let that sink in.

Muslims are not terrorists. The Al Qaeda are terrorists. Building a mosque (which is less of a mosque, and more of a cultural center) is NOT a memorial to the Al Qaeda, or a memorial to the 9/11 attackers.

When the terrorists attacked us on 9/11, their goal was to incite terror, and to change our way of life. As Americans, we fought to keep our composure, and even as we trembled, we fought to continue our way of life to the best of our ability. We did this so that those who attacked us in hate, would not win. If we allow bigotry, and hate to cloud our judgement on this issue, then the terrorists have succeeded in their mission, and thus have won.

I am not talking about allowing a mosque to be built JUST to show how tolerant we are here in America, or to prove any liberal point. I am talking about making a decision as we normally would had this terrorist attack not happened.

As a nation of tolerance, acceptance, and openness.... as a nation where the best cultures in the world can come together to learn from and about each other.... a nation where Muslims are free to be friends with Christians.... and republicans with democrats, I believe that we should allow this Mosque to be built. Dwelling on the past and letting an incident cloud our judgement will do nothing but let hate win. I believe allowing this mosque to be built will not be a memorial to the attackers, but to the victims of 9/11. Building this mosque would show that the terrorists have not won.

Being the 'Other' is neither sexy nor provocative, it's just good, old-fashioned Ho-Baggery.

2010-07-24T17:27:00.000-04:00

Cover of He's Just Not That Into You [Blu-ray]

**Alert, it's confession time here at This is How it Feels, and you may look at T!nK in a whole new light once you are through.**

Have you ever seen the movie He's Just Not That Into You? While it may be an exaggerated look at the world of dating and romance, it's definitely a must-see. It teaches a valuable lesson about the black-and-whites of romance.

I digress.

Do you remember that scene where Bradley Cooper's character (Ben) tells Jennifer "Eyebrows" Connelly's character (Janine) that he had been having an affair.... in the middle of Home Depot?

No? fast forward to 2:04.

That look on her face? If you've EVER been cheated on, you know exactly what eyebrows is feeling in this clip. That swift punch in the gut that simultaneously knocks the wind out of you, making it impossible to breathe, and completely turns your world on its ass. I've been there.

I've also been the cause.

I know, you thought I was perfect.

Aside from the cheating I have done in the past (yes, I have cheated), I have been the other... umm... woman. I am not proud of either of these, but it's the truth. I will make no excuses, but I will admit that I was wrong.

And this whole breakup has hit that lesson home like nothing else could.

I've had to come to terms with the fact that the feeling I felt the morning Trent told me he cheated, is a feeling I've caused in others.

Karma really is the biggest bitch I know (she wears dark lipliner, hoop earrings with her name inscribed, and will KICK the ever loving shit out of you).

Nothing EVER makes that okay. It doesn't matter if the relationship is on the verge of ending, and all the couple in question does it fight all the time. It is NEVER okay to cheat, or to sleep with someone in a relationship. That's the black and white of it.

So let me be your Alex today.

Ladies, gentleman: If you are seeing someone who is in a relationship, that makes you JUST as guilty as they are. That makes you a whore. Yes, I said it. He is NOT going to leave his wife for you, if he was going to leave her, he would have done so already. Drop him like Britney dropped Jayden... or Sean... whatever.

If you are being the other, it is because you don't truly believe you are worthy of being the main squeeze. You have sold yourself short and settled for being someone's side dish, because deep down, you don't have any self esteem.

So, in conclusion. Being the "other".. umm... whatever, is neither new age, modern, or provocative. You are just a whore and deserve to burn in hell just like the person who cheated.

Put that in your formspring and smoke it.

So... I guess this is it.

2010-07-24T05:14:00.000-04:00

Image via Wikipedia

Until I get bored with it (most likely), or until I can get the money up to do one of those fancy shmancy wordpress blogs with my own URL, this is it.

So, I have nothing much to say.

Perhaps it's because I've been working on podcasts, homework, financial aid, army stuff, training a put bull puppy, more army stuff, cleaning.... more army stuff... but I am just drawing a blank.

However, we did go live on our podcast tonight, but I forgot to write a reminder here. So I'm doing it now. Here's reminding you to listen to the archived version of Season 1 - Episode 2 (breakups and douchebags), of the Rocky Rhodes Special.

Oh, and all you mommy bloggers, we're having a giveaway on the podcast, listen so you can enter!

And the rest of you, enter the Express Yourself contest where the listeners get to choose our Season Finale Topic!!

This Site is Under Construction:

2010-07-18T15:59:00.005-04:00

via

Contact

Apparently, God Hates Gaga?

2010-07-17T18:04:00.009-04:00

Oh, she also hates gays, america for not killing gays, and war heroes that died in the Iraq and Afghanistan war, because America doesn't kill gays. Oh, and the Jews.

Don't believe me? Well, Rev. Phelps from the WBC says so. I refuse to repeat any of Phelps hateful spewing's but in a press release, he basically states that Gaga and all her followers are going to hell.

If that isn't legit enough for you, his daughter, Shirley Phelps even made a parody of GaGa's Poker Face. Again, won't repeat the spew here, but she basically reiterate's her father's point.

Does anyone take these people seriously? First of all, we all know that all of the WBC are basically whackjobs. They are not example's of true Christianity, and do NOT convey Christ's love. They are just trying to get more publicity to spread their hateful message. Why are we giving it to them?

Pay no mind, little monsters. No one of sound mind takes these people seriously, and I only say this in complete honesty.

Here's the message Mother Monster tweeted earlier today:

"At the risk of drawing attention to a hateful organization, I would like to make my little monster fan aware of a protest being held outside the Monsterball in St.Louis tonight. Although we have had protesters before, as well as fundamentalists at the show this group of protesters are hate criminals and preach using lude and violent language and imagery that I wish I protect you all from. Their message is of hatred and divisiveness, but inside at the Monsterball we preach love and unity.My request to all little monsters and public authority is to pay these hate criminals no mind. Do not interact with them, or try to fight Do not respond to any of their provocation. Don't waste your words, or feelings, no matter what you hear or see you are more fortunate and blessed than they are, and in your heart just pray for them. Although I respect and do not judge anyone for their personal views on any politics or religion, this group in particular to me, is violent and dangerous I wanted to make my fans aware of my views on how to approach, or rather not approach, these kinds of hate activists. Be inspired to ignore their ignorant message, and feel gratitude in your heart that you are not burdened or addicted to hate, as they are. X"

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We all know what mother monster always says:

"It's always wrong to hate, it's never wrong to love"

So don't let these hateful people affect you, and pay them no mind. Lady GaGa is more Christlike than any of them. The only thing I am truly upset about is that these people have the same name as my future husband, Michael Phelps, olympic swimmer and stoner.

"We have come to know and to believe in the love God has for us. God is love,
and whoever remains in love remains in God and God in him." [1 Jn. 4:16]

The Rocky Rhodes Special Premiere Podcast!! Tune in, call in!

2010-07-16T19:51:00.003-04:00

Hey everyone, just a head's up, the Rocky Rhodes Special Premiere Podcast will be airing LIVE tonight at 11pm. You can listen to our preview episode here.

Tonight, we will be talking about Netiquette. Or, internet etiquette, since we know a lot of people out there need a lesson. *wink wink*

Listen and Call in to answer our BURNING question, "Has anything you've done or said online had real life consequences in your personal life." Listen live for the call in number!

Also, I have a pretty big announcement about Suzy and that whole drama, so tune in to hear it.

Kujo will be giving her roadrage report, and Ki-Ki will be announcing the DoucheBag of the Week.

Also, we're giving away free shit for all you mommy bloggers out there!

So listen ----->here<---- tonight at 11!

Love,

The Diamond Necklace. (short story)

2010-07-14T12:00:00.002-04:00

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Once upon a time, there were two boys. For the sake of the story, we will call these boys Michael and David. They weren't ordinary boys, no, they had something special that linked them together. And after meeting, they mistook the connection they had, believing it was something it wasn't.

~~~

Once Michael realized the mistake they had made, he was scared. He ran far away, never planning on telling David where he went. David was not to be forgotten so easily. He tracked down Michael, and discovered why he left in such a way.

After discussing what brought them together, and what ripped them apart, they realized the connection they had for what it was, and became the best of friends.

Over the course of the years, they would travel long and far distances to see each other. They would lose touch, but always, in the middle of the night, one would randomly receive a call from the other. These late night calls would range from random silly questions, to one checking up on the other, to late night emergencies where one of the boys just needed a shoulder to cry on. They would become like brothers.

As the years went on, these two would reminisce over the idiotic stunts they pulled as children and the adventures they had. All the while, they would be each other's unwavering support systems for years to come.

~~~

However, after some time, they began to grow apart. As time went forward, and these two boys grew into adults, they began to see the world from very different points of view.

David and Michael both had rough lives. Michael had it rough due to the gift he shared with David that had brought them so close. David had it rough from the beginning. Not only did tragedy strike him at an early age, but this gift he possessed made life so much more difficult for him, even more difficult than Michael had it.

David's outlook on life grew alarmingly austere, while Michael was trying his damnedest not to be sucked in.

David grew selfish, and began taking from, and abusing Michael's friendship and generosity. He took and took, becoming a leach to Michael. Michael grew weary of David, and the trust they once had began to waver.

But Michael stuck around, waiting for a change. You see, he loved David as if he were family, and he did not want to simply give up, they had been through so much together. Surely, this was just a bump in the road.

With time, David grew more and more calloused towards life. Perhaps it was a survival technique, who knows. But Michael held on, hoping that there would be a break through. There was none.

As things grew worse, David began to belittle Michael to make up for the things he lacked. David started using drugs, and abusing substances. Trust dwindled and eventually things grew so strained that Michael didn't even trust David to be alone near his personal belongings. Eventually, that mistrust grew into fruition, when David repeatedly stole Michael's possessions.

~~~

Finally, one evening, the two got into a fight over something that belonged to neither of them. While David had seen it first, Michael was equally fascinated with the object. Foolishly, they let this object of desire come between them. This object, a diamond necklace, was one of a kind. It's rare beauty was drawn from the natural red coloring of the diamond. Both beautiful, and mysterious, there was a certain magnetism that drew both of the boys in, which is why events transpired the way they did.

Michael knew that the friendship was already dead. He had lost the respect he once had for David, and David continued to walk all over Michael. When it came time to walk away and let David have the necklace, Michael saw no reason to do so. He knew that even if he walked away from it, David would never be able to afford such a pricey possession. To make matters worse, Michael was blinded by the memories of all that David had taken from him.

But he still loved David, his brother, and he did not want to hurt him. So, Michael asked David's permission to acquire the necklace. David, already planning to cut Michael out of his life, needlessly overreacted to Michael's request, making certain that he knew that his existence was inconsequential to David.

Michael acquired the necklace.

~~~

Time wore on. The necklace was heavy. Michael wore it with pride, as a victor would flaunt his spoils, but it did not wear well. A design flaw in the necklace' chain caused it to cut grooves in Michaels skin. Over time, these grooves would become infected, and caused him to become sick.

Fever ridden, and on his death bed, Michael wrote for David. David ignored the letters. Sending word only that he did not know a Michael. Michael fought a long, hard battle, and eventually overcame the fever that ravaged his body. It would, however, leave him horribly disfigured.

Michael went on to become a great General, who fought and won many hard battles. In an especially brutal war, his estate was burned to the ground with all of his worldly possessions, including the necklace, inside. It would be buried beneath Ash and Rubble for years to come.

It was not until many years later, after he sold his property and retired to a monastery, that he would happen upon the necklace while strolling in a marketplace. While he appreciated its beauty, he knew that it was fate that had caused the necklace to leave his hands, and he decided to let fate decide in whose hands it should lay next.

After that, he began a pilgrimage into the mountains. The people who saw him last described him to have a slight, content smile on his face as he trekked into the wilderness. He would never be seen again.

~~~

David would go on to live a long life. Always did he search for that necklace, and never did fate allow it to find him. His frustration bred hate for a person that no longer existed in his world. Never did he find happiness, because he harbored that hatred in his soul. The hatred caused him to become calloused, and that gave way to Malice. He became known as the old, hunchbacked man who would shout unintelligibly at inanimate objects, unmindful of his surroundings. He died, a bitter, angry, old man, in a home for the feeble-minded.

~~~

The necklace made its way through the hands of royalty and pirates. It would become known for its mystique, and beauty. Wars would be fought over the necklace, loves proclaimed. Nowadays, it sits in a hall in one of the world's most prestigious art museums, amongst other notable paintings, sculptures, and pieces of artwork. Some are considered more notable that an ornate diamond necklace, and while all may gaze upon its beauty, it was never appreciated more than by the two boys who's fates would depend on their love for this necklace.

~~~

Fin.

4th of July Giveaway! (Do-Over)

2010-07-12T12:46:00.004-04:00

So, it's been a week, and Rosie still hasn't claimed the gift card. Come to think of it, Idk who Rosie is, but he was a follower of my blog so I wanted to give her a shot, at least. Anyway she never claimed her gift, so I had to pick a new winner. And the new winner, chosen randomly iss.....

*drum roll*

Kat! from Eat Me, Drink Me!

Happy Anniversary. (I fly by my own wings)

2010-07-10T15:35:00.010-04:00

Happy Anniversary, asshole.

No, I'm not mad.

Okay, maybe just a little.

Anyway, I did all those things I had planned for when you were here.

You know, those surprises I kept talking about.

Oh, you didn't know? Yeah, well, that's 'cuz they were SURPRISES.

Anyway. Moving on, here's what you missed:

~~~~

I went into the city and visited all the places I was going to take you to.

The Met, Museum of Natural History, Picnic in Central Park, The Seaport, etc.

Oh, and I finished of the day watching The USA v. Ghana Game at The Dead Poet with my cousin.

The funniest thing happened, this guy spilled my beer on me and since I didn't really make a big fuss about it he kept buying me beers throughout the whole game. Oh, and a shot of whiskey. I took the US loss pretty hard. I've got hope for Spain... oh, and NOT because it's your team, because I actually like Spain, and Portugal, but Spain beat them earlier on. Oh, you didn't think I was that into soccer? That's because you assumed I was all about handbags and handkerchiefs.

~~~~

I went to a Soirée at my bosses house that you were going to be my date to, and I slept at the Inn one night. I had that big ass bed to myself and slept pretty well, to be honest. The next day I had a picnic, by myself, overlooking the hudson. I didn't have to pack as much food, so it was easier for me to find a good spot to set down and eat. I went to the Spa, as well, and since I didn't have to pay for your treatments, I doubled up on my own. The Swedish Massage, Facial, Hand and Foot Treatments, and Sea Spa Mani/Pedi were amazing, thanks for those. To tie up the day I kept MY reservation at the Aritst Palate, one of the best restaurants IN the Valley, and had an amazing meal.

~~~~

I went hiking with the puppy. Oh, I have a puppy now. He's a cutie. And at least I KNOW that he's gonna be "doing the business" with random bitches, so I won't be disappointed. He's very protective, it's cute. Anyway, I jumped off a 60 foot waterfall, not because i was suicidal, but because it was a fucking RUSH. I think I have a new hobby, cliff jumping (I know, how Bella Cullen of me).

~~~~

I signed up for a table at pride. So I didn't really get to have any fun. I'll admit, I probably wouldn't have signed up for it if I was going with you. You can have that one. It's pride.

~~~~

I went clubbing. I drank, I danced, I got in a fight. It was pretty Epic.

~~~~

I went to the Waterfront to see the Fireworks. I watched them with friends and family. I was alone in the sense that I am not attached to someone anymore, but that was fine, because they were beautiful.

~~~~

I cried. Boy, did I cry. Oh, but you know that because in a moment of weakness I called you to tell you I hate you. I barely got the words out between the sobs and shortly after started hyperventilating. Yes, that part was kind of pathetic. What's even more pathetic is that you had the audacity to message me on iChat and tell me that it was fucked up that I was ignoring your calls/tweets/what have you.

Do you want to know why it's pathetic? When it comes down to it, the black and white is that you cheated. Yes, WE had our bumps in the road in the beginning of the relationship. You were unfaithful, I was unfaithful. You'll have that. We were past that in our relationship, you forgave me, I forgave you, it was done. And then you went and did it again. You can try to explain it away, make excuses.

But none of your excuses matter. What matters to me is the phone call I got hours before, the one telling me how much you loved me, and could never be with anyone else.

What matters to me is the note you left for me to find... don't remember? Here:

apparently, there WAS something more.

What matters to me is that none of this means anything.

~~~~

It's really disappointing because you really did have good intentions, but that doesn't matter when the actions overshadow the intention. And in this case, the points you won for being honest are really inconsequential. Because I loved you, with all of me. And when the stakes are that high, all that matters in the end is that you completely broke me. Nay, you broke my heart, but I can't be broken.

So what it all boils down to is that I loved you will all my heart. You broke it. So no, I'm not the douchebag for not speaking to you. You, my love, are the douchebag for cheating, and for realizing way too late that you really didn't love me in the same way I loved you.

So, I hope the random sex at that house party was worth it. Because you've lost me in every sense of the word. And it's not because I hate you (which I kinda do, right now). It's because I don't want to be associated with a person who has the ability to hurt someone who they supposedly care about. The person who was absolutely loyal, supportive, and understanding. The person who wasted two months rent on you, while being evicted from their apartment because they were two months behind (Stupid, stupid).

In all honesty, I still am in love with you. I will always still love you. But eventually, I'll burn the picture that sits on my desk. You don't know the ones? Here, let me refresh your memory.

I'll mail you the USB Mixtape I made for you. And the cards I had planned to plant in your bags for you to find. Oh, and your shirt, the one I slept in. I'll send you a prepaid box to send me my stuff back in, and that will be that.

The point I am trying to make is this: I loved you, I'll move on with my life, with a powerful lesson only you could teach me. I'm fine on my own. I will live my life according to me, and I will enjoy every minute of it. I fly by my own wings.

this isn't me, btw. It's my brother, Jon... the one you were hitting on.

Love,

Okay, Suzy....

2010-07-09T22:25:00.004-04:00

you're on.

For those of you who don't know, (one of) my bloggy mommy('s) thought it would be a really cool idea if I got on this documentary about Gay people living in America. Apparently, the story of a young gay boy who left his home at 15 years old, joined the army at 18, and was kicked out because of Don't Ask Don't Tell is sort of compelling.

Well, one of the way to get on the Doc is to get votes. I'm currently in second place. In first place is Suzy, a middle-aged (being generous, here), housewife from Massachusetts (blech.) who isn't even gay. She has like a million votes, and if you do your research, she is basically an... umm.. attention whore, to put it nicely, who is part of this inner circle of attention whores who all vote for each other everyday so that they can get on some sort of reality show.

Now, I'm all for your 15 minutes, but.... not when it competes with mine. I'm pretty sure that if the producers of the show see that she is not even gay and doesn't really have any sort of reason for being in the documentary. Still, I don't want to take any chances.

So, please, help me close the (as of 10:47 friday night) 247 vote gap and put me in first place!

You can vote here and vote daily!!

Suzy, I'm comin' for that spot!!

Love,

Oh, hai. I changed my name, Like it? Good. No? Don't Care.

Also, I changed my url so update your readers!! princehampton.blogspot.com

4th of July Giveaway!! - Winner!

2010-07-06T13:39:00.000-04:00

Rosie is our new winner! Email me to claim ur prize Rosie!!

Oh... I may or may not have carpal tunnel from typing up that damn list.

But I'll do it a million times over, for you, my followers.

Well, maybe not THAT many... it's not one of those blogs.

Love,

@ladygaga's guide to a breakup.

2010-07-05T10:58:00.000-04:00

In my quest for love and life, I have discovered a few simple truths:

WD-40 and Duct Tape can fix ANY problem (If it doesn't move and should, use WD-40, if it moves and shouldn't.... use the duct tape)
ALWAYS wear clean underwear.
Sometimes, he's just not that into you.
Life is pretty simple, it's people that complicate shit.
If all else fails... resort to singing Lady GaGa songs.

Follow Along:

For those long weeks where your boss was an über dick, and the copier broke, and the fax, then your dog got the shits, and your car's whatchamacallit doesn't calibrate with the whosiwhatsy.... Just Dance, It'll be okay.
And on Monday morning, when you found your boyfriend in bed with another girl (or boy) Saturday night, and you spent Sunday watching Lifetime and crying... Or if over the weekend he threw you off the balcony of your mansion and then you had to kill him. You've got to be brave and put on that Poker Face. If you need to cry, go outside.
And to explain to inquiring minds why you love that douchebag, simply tell them you're caught in a Bad Romance. Or you can tell them to mind their business... I mean what are they Paparazzi?
When his sorry ass keeps trying to contact you tel him to stop telephoning you, you're busy.
And Finally, when you are done with this silly lovegame, you can tell Alejandro to stop calling your name, because Eh, Eh (there's nothing else you can say)

Thank Fuck it's Friday...

2010-07-02T16:22:00.000-04:00

"But T!nK," you say, "You don't have a job, why does it matter if it's friday to you." To which I answer with a swift kick in the rear. Friday being the workweek for my employed counterparts, it's the only day we get to hang out, without having to leave early. Also, as I am still being productive with my unemployed time, friday STILL marks the end of the work week because all the things I had to do needed to be finished by today.

Here's the week in review:

Moved the entire six months of my life using my 2-door Saturn and crammed it into my mother's sunroom.
Got enrolled in school AND finished all the FinAid paperwork on the civilian side (next week I tackle the VA)
Unpacked and ORGANIZED the last six months of my life, and threw out a ton of stuff.
Job interviews
Ran the SLDN Table for Pride
Hosted a giveaway, campaigned for a documentary
Discovered the meaning of life.

I'd say I'm doing pretty good for being unemployed.

Anyway, I'll be back Monday to announce the winner of my giveaway! Be sure to enter it, Entries close July 4th at 5:00pm.

Also, I'm getting tired of this Suzy character. She's beating my my like a million for a shot at this documentary about Gay Life.... AND SHE'S NOT EVEN GAY! Vote Daily.

Love,

Éternité

2010-07-01T23:38:00.002-04:00

Oh, HAI!It's a Blog makeover! Be sure and tell me what you think! Also, don't forget to enter my giveaway if you haven't done so already. Oh, and if you like my blog, don't you think I would be great ona a documentary? if you DO vote here! (That bitch suzy is WINNING! and She's NOT EVEN GAY!!!!)

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming!!

Éternité... the French word for Eternity... which also translates to life.

The other day, I went to Tattoo Fantasy in Marlboro to get this tatted across the right side of my neck. The artist there told me he would never do a neck tattoo, especially because I was so young.

In short, he felt that it would be unethical to tattoo someone in such a way that would carry a stigma when people looked at them.... which would in turn change the way people treated them, the jobs they got, etc.

After much begging, the compromise we came to, after I listened to all the reasons NOT to get a neck tattoo, was that I would come back in a month or so, and if I still wanted it, and had a convincing argument, MAYBE then he would consider it.

In all honesty, I appreciate him looking out for me. I am glad he wouldn't let me do it, but not because of any stigma, or limits that would be placed upon me. In all honesty, stigma, and limitations have been my motivation throughout the years. My biggest motivation is when someone tells me I can't, and I am a firm believer in we are limited only by our own minds. If we believe in something, or truly want something, we will find a way to achieve our goal, regardless of the circumstances... So, no, stigma, and limitations are not valid reasons (personally) for me not to get a tattoo, because I'm going to get whatever I want in life regardless of my appearance. This tattoo carries a heavy personal meaning, and the reason I don't think I should get it right now is because I'm not ready for it.

I chose a word that represents longevity and life for a specific reason. The reason it would be placed over my jugular is because of the symbolism.... the jugular one of the most vital arteries in the body.

This tattoo would be a tribute, and a promise, to myself to ALWAYS be good to myself, to take care of myself, live unapologetically, and to LIVE a LIFE that I LOVE.

It wouldn't be right if I got this tattoo, and I hadn't made steps in the right directions... If I got this tattoo, and I was still living the destructive lifestyle that I was before, I would feel like a poser, for lack of a better term.

I've had a bad history of self-destructive patterns and behaviors. I've struggled with anxiety and depression, and have tried to commit suicide on more than one occasion. I come down really hard on myself, and make myself feel more worthless than any other person ever could. I've self medicated by eating (and purging), drug use, sex, binge-drinking, and smoking cigarettes.

These things in themselves, in moderation, are not the problem, the problem is me. I was happy not too long ago. And when I met Trent, I wanted to hang on to that relationship so badly, because he was such an amazing person, and the relationship was exactly what I had always wanted, that I invested my whole heart, mind, and soul into doing everything just right, into working on the relationship.

And in that process, I forgot about me.

I grew unhappy, and as the rest of my life slowly began to fall apart, I held tighter and tighter to the security of my relationship, because it was all that I had. But my happiness did not depend on the relationship, so even though things were going well, I was deeply unhappy.

And then it ended. And I lost my shit.

I went over the edge, and for a week I plummeted into a dark place of drugs, sex, violence, alcohol.... need I go on?

But that week ended, and I came to the place where I needed to make the decision for me to be happy. I came to the place where I realized I deserve happiness, and I deserve to treat myself with respect. I've realized that happiness will always be a pursuit, because once you've attained it, you've got to work on it to keep it. The only reason it takes that much work is because it's worth it.

So, Im going to learn to be happy. To love myself.

I'm giving up my vices. I will no longer smoke cigarettes, or weed.... binge-drink, comfort eat (then subsequently guilt-starve), or spend money I don't have on things I don't really need, or have casual sexual encounters.

Each of these vices have been used at one point or another in place of the happiness that was not there. They have all made me weaker, or made my unhappiness worse, because once they were gone I would feel even more empty and alone than before.

So now, I am cutting them out, and I will develop a healthy relationship with food. I need to learn to lean on myself, and to be happy, with myself.

And after a month or so, we will revisit where I am personally. And if I think I am ready for it, I will get that tattoo on my neck. It will be both a promise to myself, and a declaration to others of the choice I've made to be good to myself, and to love myself.

Love,

4th of July Giveaway!!

2010-07-01T11:50:00.000-04:00

So, I actually debated whether or not I wanted to have a giveaway, just so you know! I didn't wanna feel like a sell out, but then I said to myself, "self, why not?." Why not reward one of your amazing followers with a $50.00 gift card. I mean, sure, it might be seen as selling out, but whatever. I don't really give a shit about what people think of me, and my writing stands on its own. Anyway, here are the details.

The prize is a $50.00 gift card to any of CSN Stores online. They have over 200 stores, including a store for, dining room, furniture, luggage, shoes/handbags, bookcases, and kiddie toys! You can also spend the card at any of their 200+ stores! So go ahead and check 'em out. I will be picking a winner on July 4th!

The only rule is that you have to be a follower of my blog... you can comment to let me know, but If you already follow, you are automatically entered! <3

Here's what you can do for extra entries:

Repost (one comment)
follow me on twitter (@TinK_Betch) and RT (one comment for each)
follow me on Tumblr (one comment)
Become a fan on FaceBook (one comment)

And just leave me a comment for each one to let me know that you did it! Thanks, I love you all! <3

Oh, and if you want to see me in a documentary about Gay life in Amurrikahhh then don't forget to vote for me here, Daily!! <3 that bitch suzy has like a million votes and she's not even Gay! f*ckin massholes!

Love,

NYC Pride

2010-06-29T17:09:00.000-04:00

Don't forget to vote for me here so I can be a part of this documentary! You can vote daily, and that bitch Suzy has like.... a bagillion votes and she's not even gay!! <3

NYC Pride 2010 – As told by a first time Pride Captain.

I’ve frequented NYC Pride many times. I had never actually checked out the vendor booths, for me, it had always been about the party. And then I was discharged in December 2009 due to Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. It was then that I realized that nothing happens in this world, unless someone makes it happen. This was when I embarked on my road towards becoming an activist. This road led me to the SLDN.

When I got the email asking the volunteers if someone would be Pride Captain, I jumped at the opportunity. I thought this would be a good way to get involved, and inform people about DADT. I did not expect it to be more work than I could handle.

The night before Pride, I picked up my friend so that we could ride to pride together. In the middle of the night, he became very sick, and I had to rush him to the emergency room. I waited with him there until 0530.

I had to make a decision, would I leave him there high and dry? Or would I leave the SLDN High and Dry and stay with him? It would take at least an hour and a half for me to get to the city, and I had all of the materials we would use for pride. I called Phoebe, the volunteer that offered to help me as co-captain, and asked her to be there to greet the workers, organize everything, and I would be on my way, late, with all of the materials and literature.

I organized a ride for my friend, went home to get ready, and headed down to the city. When I finally got there and found our spot, I was greeted by Phoebe, and the one volunteer that decided to show up for the morning. There was no table, or tent. Something got lost in translation and the SLDN was not reserved a table. To make matters worse, I forgot the SLDN banner at home.

I felt defeated, and I was desperately trying to come up with a solution, when Phoebe saved the day. She rented a tent with her personal money, and we decided to hang the table cloth I brought as a back drop, and hung t shirts from it, which identified us as the SLDN table. We stood the whole time, and handed out survival cards, buttons, and got a butt load (because that’s an actual scientific measurement) of signatures for our petitions for Congress.

By the end of the day, my mascara was running, my foundation had rubbed off, I sweated through my shirt, and I was starving, and I hadn’t slept. I escaped from the booth for one hour to talk to a friend. Other than myself and phoebe, only two volunteers (out of 15) showed up to work that day.

But, with their help, I would call the day a huge success. Phoebe, Katherine, and John really pulled together to help me out, my friend got home safely, and we got a ton of signatures for the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.

Win.

Love,

This is How it Feels:

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