This is me, Then...

Reminiscin the old days..

2008-03-27T21:29:00.003+08:00

Since it's Holy week, there's no special things nor plans for travelling or something...
'Coz I need to have a rest since I came from a major operation..

The only things that I can do this week is to surf the net, edit my blog and playing with my son.
Also as part of my hobbies, is to edit my friendster account..

As I open my friendster account, and I tried to read my inbox, to check if there's any friends send a message, unfortunately only few of them.

I also tried to opened my husband's friendster account (hala..lagot..) since I know his password..
and read his inbox, and also read the oldest message ..When I found out my message to him when we are in boyfriend and girlfriend stage.. let me share my message to him..

Date: 09/28/2004 5:52 pm
Subject: hi!! :>
Message: Never in a million years did I ever think that I could
find the kind of happiness and love that I have
found with you. Let me start by saying that I thank
God every night since I found you. You came into
my life when everything seemed so dark but you
provided the light to find my way. I've never been
so certain of anything in my life like I am of us. You
have totally changed my outlook in life and I thank
you for that. I never thought that someone could
love me like you do, but guess what? I love you
that much too. I feel as if I'm walking over clouds
just thinking about you. You make my life
complete. I know you've said we could do foolish
things while in love, but you know what? With you I
wouldn't mind being a fool for the rest of my life. I
love you so much and I know you love me too. I
know that others looking into our relationship
might think that we're saying too many foolish
things too soon but they just don't know how we
feel about each other. There's nothing foolish
about the things I've told you, I meant every word I
said.
You are a dream come true and I'm really glad that
fate brought us together. It was a little difficult
going at first, we had so many obstacles to
overcome and friends doubted it would work out,
but look at how much we showed them! You mean
everything to me, and I know that with every day
we are together, the love just gets stronger and
stronger. I love you, , with all my heart.
Take care always!!! mmmwwahh

When I saw it, I got fluttered..'coz I send him that kind of message. It only shows how much I care and love him, of course until now...and it will be forever..

Palm Sunday..03.16.08 Start of Holy Week

2008-03-27T10:08:00.004+08:00

It's Palm Sunday, we all knew that this is the the triumphal entry of Jesus into Jerusalem in the days before his Passion. This the last 2 Sundays in the Lenten Season..

Here in the Philippines, we call it "Palaspas". Mostly there are lots of decorated leaves of coconut along the sides of churches. So we used it, and attended the Mass. After the Mass, some of the Priest bless those "Palaspas" with the Holy water. Some of the Churches, they do the blessings before the Mass and it is outside the Church to avoid stampede. After the blessings and the Mass, most of us we put those "Palaspas" in the front of the gate in our houses, or we put that in the doors. It symbolizes that we welcome or beloved Jesus Christ in our houses and in our hearts.

I think it's the time for us to commemorate or to remember the last days of Jesus Christ before his Passion. It's the for us also to pray for him and remember all the sufferings with our own lives.

Me and my Husband attended the Mass. I pray and thank him, for the 2nd life and for the survival she given to me.

My 2nd week of Survival

2008-03-27T09:55:00.003+08:00

It's my 2nd week after the operation.It's seems that I can move on my own, I can stand and I can sit. It's really a big progress for me, since the day of the operation.
I need to see my Doctor for a follow up a check up. My husband prepare my warm water so that I could take a bath, and he accompanied me in the bathroom.
My mom, also keep calling to check I'f my wounds are ok and if I'm alright. So I tell her that everything's works fine and my wounds are still not dried.
When we are at the hospital, my doctor told me that my wounds are ok, so she just give a prescription for a cream so that it will heal faster.

Finally., I'm home

2008-03-27T09:35:00.002+08:00

When we got home, I went to my son immediately and hugged him. I feel like his fever is really high, so my Mom and my husband bring him to the nearest doctor for some medications.

I really miss my son when I'm in the hospital but I dont have any choice I have to stay there. But now, since I'm home, I will going to spend my whole time with him.

When they came back, they found out that he has a Toncilitis, so they gave him a Cefalexin and an Ambroxol for the cough. It seems that my son doesn't relieve, his fever is up and down, and we dont know what to do. My mom in law took my son and make him sleep on her shoulder, so from that time, he has enough rest.

In the morning,we decided to change his antibiotic to Cefaclor a strong one, so after my son took this medicine, his fever slowly goes down, and it seems that his relieve.
Thanks God, my son is now recovered from a fever nightmare...so we just continued his medicine until he get well.

My last days at the Hospital

2008-03-21T10:58:00.002+08:00

In my 7th day in the hospital I visited my Ob-gynecologist for checked up.

She told me.. that I have a spontaneous abortion, that's why I'm bleeding and my baby didn't survived. She also told me that I can go home, and she give a prescription for the medicines I need to take.

At the later afternoon, one of the representative from our company's insurance they told us that they will going yo cover my bills except for the medicines that are pregnancy related. So we are now preparing for that.

When my husband called our house, one of his cousin told him that our son has a fever. So my husband decided to go home, and see our son.

My mom left at the hospital to take a look at me. She also preparing all of our things..

2008-03-15T16:54:00.001+08:00

Our Condominium

2008-03-15T16:27:00.003+08:00

When we are at the hospital, every night my husband usually opens the window blinds in my room.

I asked him, why? Then he answered "the view is beautiful, you will see the different lights and building structure. It feels like we are in our own condo." I laugh at him. I told him that he better spend a lot of time seeing those beautiful places and experienced everything, then he also smiles at me.

Eventhough we are in the middle of a certain dilemma, were still have time to cheer each other's company by sharing jokes.

Our biggest dream is to have our own house, even if it's small at least we have a place that we call "HOME".

Good times with my Mom

2008-03-15T16:18:00.003+08:00

In my 6th day at the hospital, me and my Mom has a good conversation.

We miss each other's company. We talked about my marriage, for having a wonderful baby and etc. She also share's story to me about her love story with my Dad and the things that I did when I was a baby.

I really miss my Mom a lot, when the time I got married. So, I took the chance and enjoy the time together.

Refresh yourself..

2008-03-14T20:10:00.000+08:00

Goin Crazy - Natalie

Check this out.... This is my LIFE..

2008-03-14T19:57:00.001+08:00

March 4, 2008

2008-03-14T19:29:00.000+08:00

At 3am, I woke up because my lower part of my stomach is contracting and there's a lot of blood in my bed.

So we called a Nurse immediately to informed this. The contraction is still on going, blood continously flowing. My pads is full of blood, one of the Nurses and Doctor is worried so they add some medicine to me, so that the baby will survived.

Me and my Husband is worried about this. We already accepted that the baby is not meant for us. Still we are praying that he or she will survived.

My Husband called my Mom about this. So my Mom rushed to go back in the hospital. She bring my younger Brother. At morning when I woke up, I saw them and checking me if I'm alright.

There's an additional problem, one of the representative of our company's insurance visited my room and informing us that they might not covered my hospital bills. It is because my case was pregnancy related. They informed us that if it is a pregnancy related issue, they're not cover it.

We are now worried about my hospital bill, since we are in one of the expensive hospital in the Metro.

We talked about it, my Mom decided to seek helped in PCSO and my Husband is much worried 'coz we dont have any extra money to pay for it.

March 3, 2008

2008-03-14T18:56:00.000+08:00

My 4th day in the hospital, I'm feeling quite alright 'coz I can stand and sit, of course with their support.

I was able to go to the comfort room and refreshed myself.
My Doctor also advised me to have a soft diet and I can also drink water. Yes, finally I taste the water again and eat some soft foods.

In the later afternoon, there's one thing I noticed to myself. When my husband accompanied me to the comfort room, there is a blood stain in my underwear, it's brownish in color. I didn't took it seriously, I thought it's normal.

When we got back to my room, I just took a sit in a chair, when suddenly I feel something underneath my underwear it's just like a flowing blood came out from me.

So we called a Nurse immediately and reported this. She advised me to have a disposable pad so that we could monitor the blood that will came out.

From time to time, they checked my blood pressure and they advised me to have a bed rest.

I'm worried now, 'coz I'm thinking about my baby, he or she might not survived.

So my husband adds an extra care and he also make sure that I have my rest.

March 2, 2008

2008-03-14T18:22:00.000+08:00

This is the 2nd day of my operation, and my 3rd day in the hospital. Still I'm in NPO (no water, no foods to be taken).

It's hard for me to move because of the operation, but I force myself, at least to took a sit and watch a television.
I told to my Husband that I want to drink a water, but he refuse. Instead he get a small piece of cotton, and wet it. He put it in my lips and dampened it.
Me and my husband has a small conversation about what happened. He also advised me to took care of myself so that it will not happened again. Also, we talked about the baby inside. We are hoping that he or she will survived despite of the operation that I had.

When one of Nurse came into the room, I asked what are those 3 bottles that was attached to me. She said that the 1st bottle is the dextrose, the 2nd one is the bottle for the baby so he or she will survived, the 3rd one is the medicine. That time I was relaxed, at least my baby has a support inorder for her or him to survived.

In the afternoon, my family visited me, my Mom, GrandMa, my Brother and Sis was there. Their caress and love is warm.

We have a wonderful dinner that time. My husband decided to go home 'coz he miss our son, and he wants to checked if he is ok. So my Mom, left and stay with me. We also have a good conversation about things and life.

March 1, 2008

2008-03-13T20:25:00.000+08:00

I heard a voice, a voice of a middle aged woman saying "Apple, Apple, Apple, gising na (wake up)".

I slowly opened my eyes, and I saw my Mom staring at me and keep saying those words.

I just finished my operation, and I saw myself with dextrose and the other 2 bottles (I dont know the name of the rest), and they keep checking my blood pressure and get some blood samples for testing.

I didn't say anything to my Mom, but to smile at her 'coz all I knew is I'm feel tired and sleepy.

I woke up and checked the room's clock, it was 3 am, the Nurse whose beside me, told me that she need to put some medicines on me. I asked her if it hurts, she told me that it doesn't hurt coz she mix some water into it . She took care of me, and I saw my Mom looks like tired but her caring is still there, and I went to sleep again to regain strength.

The Nurse who took care of me that time, woke me up, and she's saying goodbye coz it's the end of her shift. So, I thank her and say take care.

At morning I'm still in the Recovery Room, there are lots of patients. Some of them, just got delivered with their babies and some of them also had their operations (other cases of ovarian diseases). I asked one Nurse, If I will going to be transferred to my room, they said that, still there's no available rooms for me, since our company's insurance will took care for that.

At exactly 1 pm, all Nurses fix all my dextrose and my bed 'coz they will going to transferred me in my own room. When they moving my bed, outside the OB-GYNE dept., I saw my son Nathaniel (1 yr old and 10 months), my husband Alfred, my Mom, my Mom in law, my Sis in law and his son Daniel, the sisters Rose and Salie (these 2, took care my son and Daniel).

I feel their support and caring.

I cried when I saw my son, 'coz I like to hugged him and kissed him same with my Husband.

When the Nurses moving my bed, I heard my son voice crying and saying "Mama, Mama".

I can't do anything, but to cry.

When I'm in my room, I saw all the people who supported me and gave cares.

All of them cheering me up, saying some jokes, when my mom in law say that I'm an Alien now, because I am not complete anymore because of my operation. I explained to them that the Doctors only removed all the blood and the cyst in my ovary, but when my Husband whispers me that my operation is not like that, and then I asked why? he said that he will explained to me later.

All the people in my room decided to go home same with my Mom. Then my Husband explained to me that my operation requires to remove my right ovary and fallopian tube because of the ruptured hemorraghic cyst in my ovary. I was shocked, I felt like that I am not complete anymore, the system that makes me as a whole WOMAN is now INCOMPLETE.

That time, I thought that the love of my Husband will be lessen because of what happened,

and I am COMPLETELY WRONG.

Instead, I felt his warmth love and care, the feeling of our 1st time kissed.

I can't explained why, all I know is I AM THE LUCKIEST WOMAN in the world for having a MAN like him.

February 29, 2008, My First Blog

2008-03-13T18:27:00.001+08:00

Let me start my BLOGG this Leap Year..

I woke up early at 2:30 am, I took a bath and fix myself and went to the office. I'm working in a call center as a Level 2 Technical Support Representative. As part of my job, we need to take calls and support our customer with their technical needs such as Internet and wireless connection issues and emails.

At exactly 3 am, I leave the house, my husband accompanied me to the street where I rode a jeepney. So at 3:45 am, I'm in the office and preparing myself to take calls and log in at 4am and helped our customers.

So at 6 am, I took my 1st break and bought a Tuna pie in Jollibee and a chocolate drink. I need to consumed my 15 mins break to refreshed myself.

At 8:30 am, is my lunch time, so me and my friends decided to ate at KFC. We have a good time, 'coz we are treating ourselves from our salary.

At that time, my stomach rolled up and down and I went to the Comfort room to relieved myself.

From then, my stomach really disturbed me a lot. It continues to roll and it bothers me, sometimes it will stopped for a few minutes and it goes again from time to time.

So, I decided to have my last break at 11 am, I called my husband because we are planning to go to Manila City Hall and get my birth certificate, but he suggested me to visit my Doctor 'coz 3 days before that I'm not felling well. So I say yes.

To cut the story short, after our conversation, I feel a sudden pain in the right part of my stomach and I have a difficulty in walking and breathing. It's really painful. So, I didn't make it to log in again and take calls. I informed my immediate superior about this, so they bring me at the Nurse station. The Nurse decided to bring me to the nearest hospital which is Makati Medical Center, I called my husband about this so that he can prepare and go to the hospital too and meet me there.

At the hospital, they conducted a series of test like urinalysis (to test if I'm pregnant and get some specimens) and blood tests. They thought that I am suffering from Appendicitis. In their results it's negative from Appendicitis, but I'm positive for Pregnancy test. From 1 to 10, which is 10 is the highest, I estimated myself about the pain that I feel in my stomach and in my lower abdomen. The doctor decided to hand me over at OB-GYNE Dept. to conducted some series of testing and they got some specimen inside me. From that time it's really painful, I dont know what to do. It's just like, all the pain in the world are inside me.

When I'm in the Ultrasound room, the doctor who's checking my uterus and ovary, I heard that there are a lot of blood inside my uterus, my right ovary is not visible, at the left fallopian tube there' s a GSAC estimated 4 weeks and and 4 days and as a whole there's an internal bleeding.

I can't imagined myself suffering in that pain and illness, that I didn't expected to happen.

When I'm in the recovery room, they are preparing me for a major operation, I saw my husband and my mom. My husband look's like very sad and he has a teary eyes my mom is crying and keep saying that "be strong and pray for your survival, God is with us". From that time I didn't refrain myself from crying and keep praying to our Almighty God to helped me survived this kind of sick.

So they bring me at the Delivery Room and started the operation. From that time, I dont know what happened... The only thing I remembered is praying and saying "Please helped me God"