This is My Boom Stick!

Open Letter to Next Teenage Shooter

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 01:05:00 +0000

It's getting old.

I realize you are a sad, depressed, pissed off, dark, tortured asshole kid and that you want to kill yourselve. That's cool. And I realize that you are a vain little prick who wants to make headlines with your suicide. Hey, no one blames you. But would a little originality kill you? No pun intended.

This recent guy, Robert Hawkins (aka The Butt Plug), who got fired from McDonalds - which btw, you gotta be a dumb motherfucker to get fired from McDonalds - and who's girlfriend dumped him (probably cause he worked at McDonalds) has to be one of the lamest of all the suicide kids.

I mean, c'mon. Shooting people and then shooting yourself?!? Fvcking BORING!

Kim Jong-il probably killed 1000 people today. Al Qaeda probably got a few too. And you know some Africans got killed in diamond caves. So, shooting suburban moms is really unimpressive. I.E., you are lame.

So, here's my appeal to all the future unwanted children that grow up to be Butt Plugs:

Please be more creative with your suicide.

And please do this with out taking other people's lives. I mean, that's just rude, uncalled for, and about as unoriginal as sitcoms on the WB.

Let me give you some suggestions for more original ways to die...

1. Saturate a hang glider in gasoline. Ignite the hang glider just before flying to your doom. How fvcking cool would that be?

2. Take parachuting lessons. Get good enough to where they let you do it by yourself. Then jump out of the plane and play chicken with the Earth. See how long you can go with out pulling the rip cord. Maybe you'll win.

3. Steal a Classic Car. Something sweet like a GTO. Then load the trunk with containers of extra fuel and ride that puppy right into the grand canyon. Die like a bad ass.

4. Call 911 and say someone fitting your description has a gun. Then when the police arrive act crazy and keep your hand under your shirt. At some point run at the cops screaming and pretend to pull a gun out. That should do it.

5. Travel to the Sudan and name a teddy bear Mohammed.

6. Go to Zoo and jump over fence. Sucker punch nearest polar bear.

7. Go out and watch a movie staring some actor you can't stand. Then slit your wrists casually during the film. This makes a statement. Also, get the big popcorn with extra butter.

8. Get a lot of weed and try to smoke yourself to death. It won't work and you won't get famous but, man, you will probably have the best time of your life.

9. Write, direct, and produce an independent film where your character dies at the end. But really kill yourself.

10. Go over the Niagara Falls on a surf board.

You get the point. You can easily kill yourself AND make the news with out actually injuring any one else. Then at least you don't die an asshole on top of already living life as a loser.

C'mon people, let's make this happen! And please youtube as much of it as possible...

Sexist, Racist, Homophobic, Selfish Children

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 04 May 2007 15:21:00 +0000

The republicans are like sexist, racist, homophobic, selfish children. They, collectively, should be taxed more for being such a bunch of narrow minded ass fvcks whose views and actions on life are directly responsible for the hatred our country experiences from other countries, the poor education system, the over population problem, the pollution problem, and the inflated expenses incurred by a “hire your buddy” approach toward governing. They can also claim this war, the dissolving of the constitution, and deaths of over 3000 soldiers and over 1000 Katrina victims.

People should be ashamed to be associated with that party at this point in time. And Ronald Reagan was a bad president. Russia collapsed because of fundamental flaws with communism’s ability to compete against capitalism. Give credit to the guy who invented capitalism and free trade not Ronald Reagan. And as far as Reagan helping the economy; anyone incurring a crazy debt and spending non-stop for 8 years will help boost the economy in the short run. Giving him props for being an economic guru also falls into the “narrow minded ass fvcks” category.

You Know How I Know You're Gay?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 29 Dec 2006 05:14:00 +0000

You had a woman convicted for sucking your dick!

I thought about this title for this post...

Norwegian Sally Pants Charges Woman with Rape After She Sucks His Gay Dick

I mean, holy sh!t. Holy "cock gobblin reach around" sh!t. If this guy is not gay then at least it's safe to say he'll die alone. No girl will suck his dick after this fiasco... and I'm thinking some of his boyfriends might have second thoughts about it too.

Wow... woman goes to jail for a blow job. This is how you know the last days are near.

BBC Says Indian Men Have Small Dicks

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 08 Dec 2006 21:19:00 +0000

(Apparently two inches wins "Big Dick" award in India.)

Wow... It really sucks to be an Indian guy today. It's not every day a world renowned news source reports that an entire county's male population is below average in penis size. But damn, it's funny.

Favorite quote from article,

"And normally one feels shy to go to a chemist's shop and ask for a smaller size condom."

... yeah, I bet you do. LMFAO!!!

See full story here.

Tags: India, dick, penis, Indian, BBC, World News, Small

Mitt Romney is a Loser

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 27 Nov 2006 16:28:00 +0000

Gov. Romney is on a campaign to end gay marriage. What is loser.

I have never woke up and had a bad day because a gay married another gay. I have never lost any money because of homos wanting to be married. I have never been caused one iota of grief by gay people doing anything.

I'm just tired of these standard politicians blabbing on and on about sh!t that does not matter. If a gay wants be married what do I care? Did this loser forget there is a war going on?

And how much time has this guy, his advisors, and the media spent on this issue? What does that add up to in dollars? Fvckin losers.

Seriously, if you ever voted for this guy or are ever even thinking about voting for this guy just do the world a favor and stay home on election day. You're not qualified to vote... and you probably shouldn't drive either. Just stay where you are and don't make any quick movements... the retard bus will be there to pick you up shortly.

Tags: Mitt Romney, Loser, gay, marriage

America and Racism

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 20:38:00 +0000

There is a significant difference between ‘True Racists’ and the Mel Gibson / Michael Richards, aka Kramer, variety. Here’s the difference:

‘True Racists’ say racist stuff because they actually believe it and it makes them “feel better than others" to preach it. But guys like Mel and Mike just get angry and want to be hurtful in the most verbally extreme way they can think of. So one is preaching racial superiority and one is just angry and lashing out. It's a big difference and it's one that I'm not sure America is sophisticated enough to differentiate.

Here’s an example;

True Racist:

Notice, he takes himself seriously. He’s not about to apologize. His logic is clearly flawed but it works for him because it makes him “feel better than others”. He is a real loser.

I hope this helps clarify things. Some people just need anger management, some people are just stupid.

The only appropriate place for racism is jokes. They teach us not to take ourselves so seriously. So laugh a little you cracker b!tch n!gger spic mick fag fvckers!!!

Peace.

Tags: race, Racists, Mel Gibson, Michael Richards, Kramer, racial superiority, anger management, America, USA, Loser, jokes

Anyone Up for Some Asian Jokes?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 14:53:00 +0000

All I keep thinking when I see this Kramer Going Crazy Video is that Mel Gibson has got to be thanking Jebus because he's no longer the main racist guy in Hollywood. He should send Kramer a freakin thank you.

The other thing I keep thinking is how did the next comic on stage handle the situation? What did he say? "Is anyone up for some Asian Jokes?" or "Did you hear the one about the Pope, the Jew, and the Italian" or maybe "Anyone here hate homos?". I mean, how do you follow that?

They say things happen in threes... So be on the look out! I'm thinking Wesley Snipes is gonna have some Tard jokes for the US federal prosecutors. We can only hope.

Anyway, since we were talking about Asians, check out this clip...

Tags: Asian Jokes, Mel Gibson, Kramer, Michael Richards, Rasict, Pope Joke, Jew Joke, Gay Joke, Wesley Snipes, MXC, Most Extreme Elimination, Crazy, Jebus, Hollywood

Fun With Blenders

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 20 Nov 2006 04:15:00 +0000

In what might be the best use of YouTube to advertise a product to date, Blendtec presents 'Will It Blend'. In this episode an entire can of coke is thrown in with some ice to make a coke smoothie.

I'm waiting for the blended coke + mentos smoothie... 2 litter, wrappers, and all!

Until then, enjoy the rest of the collection of 'Will It Blend'.

Tags: Blendtec, Coke, Mentos, Smoothie, Will it Blend, Blender, Blend

Republicans Please Stay Home

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 04:36:00 +0000

You've supported a manipulative lying president for 2 terms. You've backed a regime that has resulted in thousands of deaths and destroyed our constitutional liberties. In other words, you've shown poor judgement. Clearly you are not capable of making important decisions.

So please do humanity a favor and don't vote tomorrow.

Thanks,

Tags: vote, Republican, manipulative, lying, president, death, constitution, liberty, judgement, important, decisions, humanity

Urban Ninja, The Mockumentary

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 26 Oct 2006 04:25:00 +0000

Ok, so in the last post I gave an example of a bad ass ninja guy. Well this post brings you an equally bad ass urban ninja guy but in a comical way.

You gotta see this...

He runs like the Nintendo Ninja Gaiden guy...

Cracks me up... I love this guy. He wins every possible cool point I can give him. I'm not even into dancing... but the pirouettes he busts into for no reason freakin rock!!!

Side Note: Turns out this guy (Robert James Hoffman III) was in the movie 'You Got Served' and is just an amazing dance performance guy overall. Plus he's also a sick bastard who likes to taser himself and friends. Check out his other videos on youtube... or check out his site, PunchRobert.com

Tags: Urban Ninja, Robert James Hoffman III, Punch Robert, Taser, Nintendo, Ninja Gaiden, Funny, Video, Comical, pirouettes, dancing, you got served

Urban Ninja for Hire

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 26 Oct 2006 04:10:00 +0000

So, you may not know this about me but my fat beer gut ass loves ninjas. So I have to share this bad ass ninja video I just came across with you.

I mean... wtf? Why can't our troops do this stuff... we need a squad of freakin ninjas like this dude to go infiltrate and kick some sectarian insurgent butt over in Iraqistan. Who do I call to make this happen?

Tags: urban, ninja, fat, beer, gut, love, troops, Iraqistan

I'm Done Working

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 26 Oct 2006 03:32:00 +0000

I'm done working. I just don't want to work anymore. It's not that I'm going to stop going to work... I'm just going to stop working while I'm there.

I'll let you know how this works out.

Sugar Tits - The Real Mel Gibson DUI Story.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 04 Aug 2006 18:12:00 +0000

Everyone talks about how Mel was saying crazy anti Semitic stuff... and that's important... but that's not the interesting part of the story. The part of the story worth mentioning is when Mel noticed a female police sergeant and yelled,

"What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits?"

I mean, that's just classic. I'd pay to have my ringtone say that! Sure beats the "Hey Moe" comment for being crazy and wild.

But back to the anti Semitic stuff... I mean he said the Jews were behind all wars. I guess that he forgot about all the wars and deaths Christianity has caused, not to mention Islam. I mean, if your gonna be against a religious group because of "war" then you need to be against them all to be consistent. Otherwise your just... crazy... Sugar Tits Crazy!

Tags:
mel gibson, sugar tits, dui, jews, anti-semitic, crazy

Why Democrats Lose Elections to Morons

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 25 Jul 2006 03:11:00 +0000

The only people that could have lost the presidency to George W. Gump were Al "no spine" Gore and The Horse Faced Killah, John Kerry. And you know what? The Dems dug these winners up out of all the population in the country just so that we the people of the untied states of America could lose all faith in this so called democracy.

Well, in another brain-gem of an idea, democrat Hillary "finger on the pulse of non-issues" Clinton may be about to suggest a special tax for video games in much the same way as they now have taxes on cigarettes.

Now, you'd think with republivangelism keeping things like stem cell research from moving forward or with an un-winnable war at hand there would be something better to talk about than taxing video games?

I'm gonna hope this is just a rumor and that the Democrats are not this clueless... but who knows anymore.

The best thing the democrats could do right now, other than suggest taxes for video games (God help us), would be to put Obama in charge of all party operations. He seems to be the only one with any dignity, intelligence, and compassion.

Come to think about it, I'm gonna write Obama in on the ballot no matter if he runs or not. I think we should start an underground movement for this. Screw whoever the dems nominate. You know it'll be a loser. They're known for pickin' losers. Write in Obama!

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Tags:
Democrats, Morons, Video Game, Tax, Hillary, Clinton, George W. Bush, Obama

Tie Shoes Faster and Other Shoe Coolness!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 21 Jul 2006 19:49:00 +0000

For no real reason, here are the coolest things related to shoes...

This guy featured on RocketBoom figured out a way to tie shoe laces more efficiently. Thank god. See the video...

This guy figured out how to make the ipod nano track how far you run (even without Nike+ shoes!) You can buy the ipod Nike Sport Kit here.

This guy figured out how to shine shoes in 5 minutes.

This is "a simple plastic netting that fits over shoes to provide traction on ice and snow." It's just sweet. For just $20... I am so getting these this winter.

And, last but not least... the gratuitous Man Sandal pic (aka "the Mandal").

This pic is from Man-Sandals.com, Dawg. This guy has cornered the Man Sandle Market with his site designed conveniently for Google adsense. Wanna monetize your Mandal site, blog, or website? Try Google Adsense. You can follow my link under "Necessities".

Tags:
how to, shine shoes, Tie Shoes, ipod, Nike, Sport Kit, Yaktrax, Mandal, Adsense

Best Coke + Mentos Video Ever!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 21 Jul 2006 01:27:00 +0000

Call it child abuse or whatever... but this is the funniest Coke Mentos video ever! This guy got his kids to make Coke Mentos Weapons! Yes that's right... we've all thought about it... but this guy did it... and he made Coke Mentos Guns and had his kids shoot each other in the face with them.

I love these people.

Here are some other helpful items:

How To Make a Coke Mentos Rocket

and for those interested... here's the Science behind the Coke and Mentos Phenomenon

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Tags:
funniest, Coke, Mentos, video, Weapons, gun, kids, experiment, funny, how to, science, explanation, rocket

Stacey Dash - Babe of the Week

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 21 Jul 2006 00:57:00 +0000

In honor of her recent Playboy apperance I'm happy to bring you a little video montage of Stacy Dash. Now it's probably only a matter of time before youtube removes this video so enjoy while you can...

If the video is down here are the obvious places to look for the pics...

Google

Yahoo!

BTW, did you know she's 40 year old? All I can say is wow... she looks like she's in her 20's.

Tags:
stacey dash, video, pics, youtube, babe, playboy

If You Won The Lottery?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 20 Jul 2006 00:56:00 +0000

There is this show on NBC about people that win the lottery and how it raises all kinds of ethical and moral dilemmas and situations. So I wanted to share the top 10 things I'd do if I won the lottery...

1. Move and change my name and identity to look like this guy...

2. Invest some of the money in stocks

3. Buy a cape and a mask.

4. Fight Criminals and kill them with sacks of money.

5. Drop clues for police about who the masked and caped money beating vigilante is.

6. Buy a condo.

7. Eat really good tacos and rice made by my sexy latin maid, Manuela La Noblanca.

8. Take up yachting.

9. Punch yachting instructor in the face.

(... This Guy)

10. Constantly take Doctor Porkenheimer's Boner Juice and "go commando" wearing sweatpants in local malls.

Oh, if there was enough money for a #11... I'd start a Christian Rock Band named "Foot up a Devil's Ass".

What would you do?

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Tags:
lottery, NBC, Windfall, money, cape, mask, Manuela, yachting

Setting a Good Example...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 18 Jul 2006 17:25:00 +0000

Ever want to put your hands on a female co-worker and give her a little massage? Sure you have... but you didn't! That could be considered sexual harassment and is not something professionals do in the work place. That is unless you are George "Dubya" Bush...

Way to go. Yee-Ha!!!

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Tags: Angela, Merkel, George, Bush, G8, Grope, Grab, Massage, dumbass, G-8, Germany, stupid

Should Hot Teachers Be Prosecuted?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 18 Jul 2006 00:38:00 +0000

Can we BE REAL! People try to fit life to laws and rules of order that in theory make sense but sometimes we just gotta make exceptions. Especially when there is no victim!

Now this is somewhat old news but common, honestly... can we stop prosecuting slutty hot teachers (aka Pamela Rogers) for banging under age boys?!? I mean every heterosexual boy wants ass like this from the time of his very first pubes. Probably slightly before that. And if a attractive older woman wants to give that to him then where is the crime? What's the worst that could happen? He could become class stud? He could gain a lot of confidence? What? Where is the bad in this?

I mean this is such the dream come true for young men that Van Halen even wrote a song about this... any one ever hear of "Hot for Teacher"!

I'm convinced it's just a bunch of sexually repressed haters! Straight Haters! Look at this situation?

If you were 13 and a boy would you want to hit this? Let's take a poll...

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Tags: Pamela Rogers, Teacher, Sex, Van Halen, Video, Poll, Cell Phone Video

Iron Man Movie Announcement - Summer 2008

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 19:47:00 +0000

God Bless Marvel! And let's not forget Stan Lee!

Due for May 2nd 2008 Marvel will present the story of billionaire weapons-manufacturer, Tony Stark (aka Iron Man) in their first independently produced feature film.

This should be badass.

Keep an eye on the Internet Movie Database for more info.

The Real Bat Boy?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 18:22:00 +0000

We all know his adventures of Bat Boy from the fine reporting done by the Weekly World News...

but the question remained: Is Bat Boy real or just tabloid sensationalism. Well we don't know. But now we know it is possible that people can do as Bats do...

Ben Underwood is blind as a bat. But he can do almost anything that people with vision can do using a technique called echolocation. This is the same technique that bats use to get around. It's pretty amazing really. Makes me think he'd be a great ninja...

Coke / Mentos Mayhem - Attempt #1

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 18:15:00 +0000

This turned out weak as hell... but we are not giving up...

Do Ninjas Love?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 18:01:00 +0000

This is a serious look at the trials and tribulations involved in being both a Lover and Ninja.

MoCho 4 Eva!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 13 Jul 2006 01:43:00 +0000

If Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez = Bennifer

and

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie = Brangelina

and

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes = TomKat

then it only make sense that...

Mauri Povich and Connie Chung = MoCho

Speaking of which, at least my life isn't this bad...

it comes close at times... but not quite that bad.

Man, I feel bad for that kid... who ever it's pops might be...

If You Were 13 and a Boy Would You Want to Hit This?
	YES!!! As Often as Possible!!!
	No, I'm gay.
	No, I'm a hater and don't want anyone to have fun.
	No, I'm a lawyer and make money from things like this being illegal.
	No, Jesus hates hot sex.

Free polls from Pollhost.com