Diana's Blog

hey BLOG - what's new?

2010-09-02T22:17:00.000-05:00

hi! hey! hi!

so as i write this ... i am listening to sam wind up something .... i won't go in there to see what it is he is winding up because i don't want him to know, that i know, that he is awake. he could be building noah's ark II and i wouldn't know because i refuse to succumb to his game to keep me awake ... nevertheless....i am awake and blogging about his winding action....someone throw me a life jacket!

i am watching "jersey shore".... am i stupid for loving "jerseylious" better? i could really care less about, "the situation" and "snookie"..... and all of those other peeps .... but I love, love, love all the staff at the, "gatsby salon" .... i think i spelled that wrong ...

so a lot of the time after i restart my computer the screen flashes black - it's a REALLLY fast flash and it only happens when the computer isn't plugged in ... probably a virus - dang it

i am currently laying in bed .... it smells like a hotel. is that because i am super, duper good at doing laundry or because i suck at it? hotels are as dirty as they are clean - i think i just insulted myself ..... dang it.

my handsome husband is snoring. i guess that's a fair a trade because i grind my teeth. you should see me ... i have half a front tooth. okay - that's not true.

how pathetic is your life when your husband says, "honey do you want hamms, keystone or milwaukee's best to drink tonight", and then he goes back and says, "no milwaukee's best .... i just can't drink that". and then i say, " you knew i drank milwaukee's best when you met me - don't judge me!" that is a balls to wall true conversation that we had tonight. not that it matters, but we didn't end up drinking any of the above beers. oh well.

sam is currently trying to cox me into bringing him some more water. his pediatrician told me that he was going to be a politician .... i would have to agree. i was ready to dig him a fresh water well just now. damn that kid is good!

sam told me tonight he wanted some chocolate milk. i said no way. i did however pour him some plain milk. he decided to pour some chocolate into his mouth after he slammed his milk. then he started dancing around acting like a fool and rubbing his tummy. i asked him what the heck he was doing .... he told me he was making his own chocolate milk since i "couldn't". i told him to milk the chocolate cow. he didn't understand.

can anyone tell me why someone would have to buy a dog for medical reasons? besides being blind.....i am clueless.......

This is real ... I read this article in the Sheboygan Press

2010-05-06T22:21:00.000-05:00

I was reading the Sheboygan Press tonight and stumbled upon this article:

Police: Two Rivers Woman Seeks Ride to Give Birth; Boyfriend Robs Her For Beer Money

What the heck is wrong with people? Let's forget the fact that the victim is a 46 year old pregnant, disabled women who is receiving money from the state for her disability and focus on her mate. Who waves a butcher knife in a pregnant woman's face and demands money from her? Although, I don't know why I am surprised by the above article. Minus the pregnant part - this is an almost everyday occurrence here in Sheboygan. And the fact that it happened in Two Rivers really strikes me as odd. We were actually looking to move out that direction to get away from the wonderful people here in Sheboygan. I just know that if I was in labor and my "boyfriend" starting demanding money from me and was waving knives in my face - the end result would not be him in jail. It would be much worse!

Speaking of giving birth - we welcomed our second son, Maxwell Edmund, into the world two weeks ago. Everyone is doing wonderful!! He has his two week check-up tomorrow. I am willing to bet he's gained about four pounds. Okay, maybe not - but he sure eats a lot! Sam is adjusting well to his new role as big brother. I only had one heart stopping moment when he threw something that almost ended up hitting Max. I am not sure if it was an accident or not - however Sam won't be doing that again. I think it scared him just as much as it scared me!

Well for not updating this blog for almost a year - I sure don't have much to say. Oh well.

xoxo - diana

What the Hello Kitty?

2009-08-05T22:14:00.003-05:00

Hi Blog Life! - what's shaking?

I am so annoyed right now - with myself. =)

So I was wasting my time poking around Wal - Mart tonight and I saw someone I knew but I didn't really want to talk to. So I detour my random route and stop and look at cereals. While I am comparing Kashi to Special K I had a random thought, (no way - me? random? whatev)... My thought was - Who the heck am I to think I am avoiding them? For all I know and I am willing to bet, they were avoiding me just as much as I was avoiding them. I am annoyingly friendly and I am sure strangers who have no idea who I am avoid me because I always walk around with a big dumb ass smile on my face and if you sneeze - my son and I will say "God bless you" and expect a thank you. Who wants to be recognized for sneezing and then have to thank someone for saying "God bless you" while shopping for tampons? Peanut Butter? Oatmeal? Or in my case nothing?

So I guess the moral of this nonsense blog is - Don't think that you are too good to stop and say hello to someone just because you think you are better then them (because really are we any better then the next person - no), or too busy or just don't have the time to stop and make random small talk. Chances are as much as you don't want to stop and talk - they don't want you to stop and talk.

An idea once - then lost forever

2009-08-03T21:58:00.003-05:00

So I was just thinking about what to write in this blog. I just ended with a sassy blog and I wanted to over compensate for the sake of my blog with a happy fun blog. How many freaking times can I use the word "blog" in two sentences? Three I guess. ANYWAY. On a more positive note - I still love SpongeBob! And why not? He's adorable. I also still love Hello Kitty for the same reason. Also VW bugs and fuzzy bunny slippers. Yeah!

A lot of times I can sit down at the laptop and just start writing without any direction or idea and it usually ends with something. Tonight is different. I don't know if it's because I am so discouraged with playing the lottery or if because all of the SpongeBob's today were repeats I didn't like or what. But I am at a loss for words. I guess I could tell you about my day. My day was okay. Okay is okay with me!

I woke up today so tired because of those dang bees and that sassy thunderstorm. But I was able to wake up to two of the most handsome men in this whole world. Now before you really start to think I am a freak - I am talking about my husband and son. Sam made his way into our bed right when the storms started. He's so cute and polite when he comes into our bed. Onto work. Work was good. I left work only to enter "Hell". It had to have been 999 degrees with a humidity level of 200%. It was insane. I was so hot. Once I got home and changed and turned on some air things were fine again. I googled "make money at home scam" only to come across 4,500,000 hits. The most hits yet! Yes!! A new record!!!

Have you ever been to a gravel pit? How much fun are all those stones?

Well I figured my random ramblings would turn into something I had fiery passion for - but no such luck. Story of my freaking life. Much like playing the lottery - no such luck. So my husband just got home. He told me he wanted a hair cut, I told him to take off his pants. He said why and I said why not. It was a weird conversation.

Night! - diana

TINKLE

2009-08-03T20:59:00.002-05:00

Who the heck made up the word "tinkle" to reference the act of urinating?

A couple of things going on in my life ...

My in-laws visited this past weekend - my Step Mother - In - Law thinks I am weird. Big surprise! Thanks Judi! =)

A handsome co worker who will remain nameless for the sake of his own pride has been taking my FEMALE vitamins. Now know, I only referenced him as handsome so you would make the assumption he was a male. He'll be alright. =)

Honey Bee's have taken up residency in our townhouse wall. I am a big fan of not killing things that shouldn't be killed - however ... for the love of the queen bee could you shut the hell up between the hours of 12:00 a.m. and 5:00 a.m.? I would like to sleep. They can make honey at any time of the day - that's like their job. Although I did read some speculation that once the bees start to disappear that's the beginning of the end of man kind as we know it. I always knew women would rule the world. Perhaps I should exterminate these peckers?

Brett Micheals played at Sheboygan's Brat Days this past weekend. I know I am a nobody compared to his skany life - but I would like to volunteer some advice to Mr. Brett Micheals. Don't come back to Sheboygan. You didn't do a good job.

I feel slightly salty tonight. I think it's conveying into my blog. My happy fun blog is now a salty downer blog. Boo.

So this summer so far - blows. It's been either cold and rainy or hot and humid. Neither of which work well for my hair type.

On a more positive note, I played the lottery the other night. I didn't win. That's good because it shows that something is consistent in my life.

My baby turned 3 this past week! 3!! I am so proud of him! He's so smart and so handsome - and now so old!!!!

TaTa for now!!
Diana

Michael Jackson - is ALIVE - I told you ...

2009-07-26T22:37:00.004-05:00

Okay, okay, okay. I know he's not "physically" alive (or is he? I think he is - dang it), however he's soon to become the fire that burns bright in every woman's heart. I read on some web site that they (they?) are planning on turning locks of MJ's hair into DIAMONDS. Okay, so diamonds are my best friend, Michael Jackson screams my name in "Dirty Diana" and I think the combo of both is a beautiful thing ... but hello - is this not weird? Obviously the amount of money this "diamond" is going to bring in is huge. And everything else that has to do with Michael Jackson and his freakish life are just as strange - but why would someone think it would be a good idea to create diamonds out of his hair? I believe it's disrespectful to the dead (?) man's body and whoever buys these diamonds would be completely weird. Although I am not going to lie - I will look for the diamonds on ebay. I guess this whole diamond process will just reconfirm the strangeness that encased his life.

Anyway - a few things that are on my mind right now ...

Where the hell do fruit flies come from? No, I don't have any yet but I just wonder? One time my friend Balls and I found an old bag of powdered sugar. It was like a college campus of fruit fly eggs. I don't want to mention, but I will, the old potato that I found right next to it. I suspect that was the source of the bugs but wow. They totally grow out of nowhere. Did the human population start out of nowhere too? Look at how easy it is for fruit flies to establish a system off of a rotting potato - let alone where the humans started. On Planet X I am sure =)

I love watching Law & Order SVU. I totally think that Elliot and Olivia should just do it. And by "it" you know what I mean. I love those two together. I need to get a life ....

I was going to buy Sam an ant farm for his birthday - well I didn't. I realized that the gift would have been more for me then my son. I love ants. They are amazing creatures. They give true meaning to teamwork and loyalty more then humans do. Perhaps ants were supposed to be the prime life form on earth and humans just grew too big and crushed them? Perhaps I will ask for an ant farm for my birthday instead of those adorable bunny slippers I found. Probably not. I will build my own ant farm!

Okay so this post is so long and so random --- the story of my life!

Anyway - I ended up buying Sam an adorable "Cars" block thing that he picked out (no ant farm) and I need to go to bed!

xoxo - have a beautiful night! diana

It's been way, way, WAY too long!

2009-07-20T20:33:00.007-05:00

Hi!

Here is exactly what is happening in my life at this very moment...

Right now my son is talking to a freaky looking Ronald McDonald toy he found in the spare room closet ... strange. The Freezer Pop guy just walked past our house. He must be walking off all those freezer pops. I used to call him Big Gut Dude until one day he cruised by with a green freezer pop. So now he is Freezer Pop Guy. He's such a creeper too - he's always looking in people's windows. Maybe not a creeper but a very nosy man! Oh and by the way - nice freezer pop. Who walks down the street eating frozen sugar syrup? Unless you are less then the age of 9 - I don't think many people. Like what was going through his head, "I want to walk but I also want to enjoy this frozen lime pop treat - yummy. I guess I will just take it with me!" Or maybe he thought he was a hot sexy dude - cruising down the street with his midget wife and huge gut sucking on a lime freezer pop? Your guess is as good as mine!

So as I type this - my son (who's done playing with freaky deaky Ronald) is throwing a HUGE fit in the kitchen right now. I know you want to know why ... because I won't give him candy. The candy of choice this evening is the well known "Nerds" candy - if you have read my earlier posts he gets those things stuck in his nose. No way am I giving him "Nerds" now.

I have just added a movie to our Netflix queue - my husband is going to be so mad. I added "The Little Mermaid" to our queue. Who doesn't like to reminisce and watch that hot mermaid swim around? She's got it going on!

Sam just asked if he could close his eyes - think it's time for bed. I do have a blog I plan to write later about Cheerios - I want to know who their marketing manager is and why they think it's a good idea to leave kids unsupervised ...

have a beautiful day =) diana!

And all that glitter is gold!

2009-07-06T21:34:00.004-05:00

*side note* It is currently 9:35 p.m. and it is pitch black, dark outside . That's not my point - my point is there are kids outside skateboarding - what the flip are their parent's doing???? Why are these kids outside when it's so dark?? If they hit my Jeep, I will be the one to get sued. Somehow it will be my legally parked Jeep that's at fault because these kids are outside skateboarding. Kudos to the legal system ... anyway ...

I am only a little bitter about parking on the street because the mail man once hit my car and said to me, "it's the big bumper", instead of admitting fault. And then - guess what. I received a note on my car - THE NEXT DAY - telling me to not park in front of the mailbox. Excuse but don't my taxes pay your salary? I will park wherever the flip I want to. If I carried letters around all day I would be a bit salty too, but this dude drives his little go cart, I mean mail truck all over town. I once remember when me and my bff ex roomie saw a mail truck being towed. How funny. We still laugh when we see a mail truck.

****There are sirens coming close to our house!! I think someone called the cops on me because I threw a Lego at my husband. It was an accident!! ****

Back to the mail truck. I remember one day shortly after the monster mail man hit my innocent VW bug my sister was over for a visit. It had snowed a few days prior and the roads were rather icy. All of a sudden out of nowhere we hear this awful "rug burn" sound. We look outside and see the monster mail truck STUCK outside by the mailbox. Please keep in mind my car was NOT parked out there due to the sassy letter I received days before. Anyway Mr. Monster Mail Truck hits a patch of dry land and TAKES off down the road sideways. So as poor Louie (the mailman) tries to regain control of his out of control monster mail truck, my sister is standing by the window yelling, "That {choice word that begins with an "F") better not hit my car!!". I gave her an old person frown and told her to relax because now poor Louie was stuck just a few feet away again. Why do they make the tires on mail trucks so dang small??!? Thank God for my VW but sad for me, I have never seen Louie the mail carrying, car hitting, slippery driver ... again. That just goes to prove everyone has a bad day at work.

Peace =) diana

Happy Flipping 4th of July ...

2009-07-03T21:51:00.008-05:00

If someone were to ask me what the 4th of July signifies, I would say - "Freedom"

Let flipping freedom ring ...

If I were to ask the state of Wisconsin to define the "4th of July", they would surly reply, " The 4th of July is the most profitable day in regards to firework citations. $$$"

Are you aware the City of Sheboygan, and maybe the whole state, fines honest, good, law abiding citizens $366 if they light off fireworks or SPARKLERS? Okay, fireworks in the City - fine whatev. You start my house on fire, with your fireworks, we will exchange sassy glares and possibly a fist or two ... but Sparklers?!?

For real?!?

Like for real?!?

Are you kidding me???

You (when I say "you" I mean Sheboygan) are going to fine me $366 for holding a sparkler? Correct me if I am wrong but isn't lighting a sparkler rather similar to lighting a cigarette? They both are HOT HOT HOT. The both have the potential to start a fire. They both burn people. However - Sparklers are WAY more fun and cigarettes don't warrent a $366 fine... what am I missing???

Some of my best childhood memories involve a sparkler. God knows if there was a fine involved, my parents would never let me hold one. So this must be something new . .. . really new.

From what I have been taught by the upstanding, wonderful (immense sarcasm here) school system of Sheboygan Falls ... the 4th of July is a day to celebrate our Independence. How the hello kitty am I supposed to celebrate my Independence if the City of Sheboygan is regulating what kind of "firework" I can possess. Again I go back to ... people can use chainsaws without a $366 fine. People can smoke a fatal cigarette and not get fined. Hell, people can even have bon fires without a fine ... but a sparkler ... I don't feel the freedom ringing.

My forefathers would be so disappointed ... would they get fined for hitting two flint stones together and creating a spark ...? In Sheboygan - yes.

what the arugula salad?!?

2009-07-01T21:01:00.002-05:00

argh - a .

I am so frustrated right now. So, so frustrated. Okay so I spent like a year solid paying off all my credit cards (stupid Louis Vuitton, Prada, Dolce & Gabbana ...), it was a SUBSTANTIAL amount of money (but a BEAUTIFUL purse collection =)) ANYWAY after successfully paying off all my debt to Visa, MasterCard and Amex I was so happy and debt free! Well debt free until "medical" made me mad - but that's a whole other blog post!!!!

...stay focused here Big D...

So tonight, I am enjoying my night with my cutie boys and the phone rings. It's a random but consistent toll free call. Fed up with how rude it is to call this late at night I answer the phone ... it's some women (with surprising clear English) asking for a Sharon Wagner.

*side note* if you know Ms. Sharon Wagner tell her to pay her flipping bills ...okay?

I, in my stern but always friendly voice say, "I am really sorry, a 'Sharon Wagner' does not live here and I would appreciate you taking this number off your list." And you know what the clear English speaking girl says to me? She says, "Okay thanks". Okay thanks? You call me at 9:00 at night - which I believe is some kind of law in some state that you can't call that late ....... and then you just say "okay" and hang up? But do you know what really makes me mad? They called back ten minutes later ... someone who wasn't as talented at speaking English as the last one, and they ask for the same Ms. Sharon Wagner as before .... what the flip am I missing? Who is this Ms. Sharon Wagner?? And why doesn't she pay her bills? but most importantly .... why are they calling me?!? I checked my credit report and it's all good.... no identity fraud here... I searched her out on whitepages.com and her number is very different then ours. The only thing I can think of, is that our number is so generic it's easy to mix up ... hmmmm.

Here is everything you have wanted to know about me ...

2009-07-01T17:23:00.004-05:00

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Yes, a princess - perhaps you have heard of her? Princess Diana. She was kinda a big deal.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Like three minutes ago. I banged my knee on the counter. What the heck was my knee doing on the counter? Still hurts though. .. .

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? I don't have much of a choice if I don't.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Nothing. Ham smells like pig, turkey smells like wet dog, roast beef tastes like blood and tuna smells like the lake on a hot day.

5. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Their face and posture (it's a tie! a tie!)

6. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? My blog

7. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Myself at age 22. So cute, so skinny, so carefree ... ahhh
8. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Are you hitting on me?

9. FAVORITE SOUNDS: Sam - when he's quite and SpongeBob's laugh (another tie! a tie!)

10. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? A sick Micheal Jackson joke. No - a twelve year old wiener is NOT FUNNY.

11. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? If I were a crayon I would be way too busy to care what color I was.

12. FAVORITE SMELLS? defiantly not my feet - whew!

13. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Some bitty that wanted to hook herself up with some spa services.

14. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Midget dodgeball. It's so intense! Those little people have quite the attitude.

15. HAIR COLOR? is .... whatev I want it to be.

16. EYE COLOR? blue/green.

17. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? A more appropriate question would be - do you need contacts because you are blind? then the answer would be "yes, yes I do diddly do".

18. FAVORITE FOOD? Keystone - LIGHT!

19. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? I never wait for the end. I get too bored.

20. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Nothing But Trouble !! Love that stupid movie. Love it.

21. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? wouldn't you rather know what color cape I was wearing??

22. SUMMER OR WINTER? Winter. Now that I have a Jeep I am not afraid anymore!

23. HUGS OR KISSES? Depends where I am.

24. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Boy Crazy Stacy - duh my fave book.

25. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? My touch pad? nothing.

26. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? Burn Notice. I love Phee!

27. FAVORITE SONG? any one I can yodel with.

28. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? I am not a huge fan of pebbles and I can't stand beatles. I kill them and then feel bad so I bury their bug bodies in the pebbles. It's rough.

29. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? I went to Mexico. It was quite the uneventful trip!

30. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Yup =) I can clap with one hand - can you?

31. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? In a cabbage patch. It was a unique experience.

32.HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER? At a local watering hole. Love at first Jack & Diet. awwwww

33. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT TO YOU? My family. I really do love them. Even if Sam pees on the wall.

34. FAVORITE SAYINGS? Whatev - no really that is my favorite saying. That and "your face". No, your face!

35. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO MEET? Whoever invented Karma.

{blank stare}

2009-07-01T16:16:00.005-05:00

If I had ever had a daughter obviously I would tell her not to take off her clothes for money, or any reason really. Anyway - obviously posing naked is not something any parent wants their child to do when they get older ... however have you ever watched, "Girls Next Door"? What's up perfect life? I know we don't see everything but from what I saw, it looks like a pretty sweet life. What - running around with insane tube socks on while driving a pink golf cart doesn't sound awesome to you? {blank stare} And have you ever seen Kendra's house? Minus the stripper pole (some people have no tact) in the living room - it's an amazing house. That goes nicely with her amazing car, her perfect wedding at a huge mansion (where she used to live...) and I am sure her bank account looks just as good as she does. Every parent wants their child to succeed, make a lot of money, drive nice cars and live in honking huge houses. And every parent encourages their children to aim for the stars - the sky's the limit!! - so what do I say if my *hopefully* future daughter comes up to me one day and says, "Motha I wanna show my tatar tots off to the world!" Do I stipulate where she is allowed to show them off? Like, "Sorry *hopefully future daughter named inserted here* the only place you can pose naked for is Playboy or MySpace." MySpace because that is where Holly found a playmate. You gotta keep your options open ... well not really. I am more then positive that conversation won't ever take place. In large amount because I will never have a daughter - I am destine to have boys. Four naughty, nerd eating, wall peeing BOYS. {blank stare}

A couple of things that are on my mind ...

2009-06-29T22:35:00.003-05:00

The first thing - I think that people who operate chainsaws should need a license. A chainsaw is kinda a big deal. They cut down trees and have the ability to cut anything in half . So it's required by law that you have to have a driver's license to operate a motor vehicle and a bicycle but any idiot that shops at Fleet Farm can buy a chainsaw? A chainsaw requires gas to operate - so does a car. A chainsaw requires constant attention to what you are doing - so does driving. A chainsaw requires a talent to operate - so does a car . A chainsaw knocks down trees - so do cars. A chainsaw can kill someone - so can a car. I think people are more likely to lose a limb with a chainsaw then a car ... hmmm.

The second thing - If you have the time and money to pay for a two hour massage each week you should be donating some money to charity. And also you should not be calling an establishment and requesting something longer then a 75 - minute massage and get sassy when the operator tells you it's not an option. If you are paying that much money for two hours of your day each week for a stranger to touch your body- you have bigger problems. No, I don't think you are something so special for having the time and the money to do this. I feel sorry for you if you have the time to do this. Get a hobby or go to church. I think a couple of "Our Father's" are in order ...

The third thing - who invented the game of "hopscotch" and why? really?

The fourth thing - why am I not clever enough to think of something like "SpongeBob"? $$

The fifth thing - why do I feel guilty for killing a spider the size of a baby hamster?? I know it's not his fault for being so disgusting and hanging out in my Jeep door and scaring the $h!t out of me ... but ... eeek geek! Then once I heard his poor gross abnormally large body hit the ground I got sad. But really - what did I think was going to happen? I build him a spider condo and he lives happily ever after? Not likely.

peace =) diana

FYI - in case I have inspired you to buy a Venus Fly Trap ...

2009-06-25T17:53:00.001-05:00

http://ow.ly/fS3a

Great Site!!!

Jon - Kate = FINALLY

2009-06-22T21:41:00.002-05:00

So I trust I am not the only person who isn't surprised by the recent announcement that Jon and Kate will be parting ways - at least I hope so....

Have you ever really watched that show?? That stupid Kate was always so mean and anal and weird. There were so many times I slapped our TV thinking it was her face. So many times in fact that my husband started making me put a quarter in a jar everytime I did it. We are now up to $268 - and we don't even watch the show regularly.

You wanna know what I think?? I think she got "hot" all of a sudden and wants to let other "hoses explore her garden". Ewww. Perhaps there was a reason they couldn't reproduce naturally - IT WASN'T meant to be...

Venus Fly Trap

2009-06-22T16:04:00.003-05:00

I will never forget the day I spotted Venus Fly Trap plants for sale at Wal – Mart. I was so pumped. I always wanted a creepy looking plant that eats flies. I carried it all around the store and held it in my lap on the way home so it wouldn’t get crushed by our impulse Wal – Mart purchases. When we got home I placed it by the toaster in the kitchen and stared at it. It wasn’t very fun. There weren’t any flies to eat because it was winter. So I got so mad. In the haste of my anger I decided to make split pea soup. Made sense – comfort food to help me cope with my hungry plant on a cold winter day. Anyway after I put the peas in the water I decided to cube a ham steak I had just bought at Wal - Mart. I then got the best idea ever to feed my new boring hungry plant some ham. I was so excited!! I cut a small piece of ham and threw it at the “mouth” of the plant. It took me a couple tries to get it in there because I thought it would trap my finger and I would have to rip off it’s head. So finally after many failed attempts I just used a toothpick and got the ham in there. The thing snapped shut so fast that I dropped the toothpick. It was so neat. Anyway so the thing shuts and then all the excitement was over until the head started turning black a few days later. The stupid thing didn’t even “digest” the ham and it rotted. Then the head fell off. I was so mad I slammed in “google” into the web browser and searched, “Venus Fly Trap” and guess what I found – you should NEVER feed your plant ham. Hmmm – good to know. Stupid things should come with a warning. Soup tasted good. Plant ended up dying though. It wasn’t a very good idea.

You wanna know what get's my goat?!??

2009-06-21T19:17:00.003-05:00

I don't understand why when people call someplace to make a reservation - and the scheduler asks what day/time they would like to reserve - the caller says, "oh let me check my calender, I am not sure when I would like to book." . .. . What thought process did the caller have when picking up the phone to call? "Oh I am going to call and make an appointment - I will figure out when I want to do it while on the phone." That is no good for both parties involved...how annoying.

Chicken Nuggets?? - what?

2009-06-20T22:47:00.002-05:00

So I serve my kid (Sam) chicken nuggets - a lot ...

I am so annoyed that the Tysons Chicken nuggets' commercial show the chicken nuggets being served with a ramekin of ketchup - do you serve your child's chicken nuggets with a ramekin of ketchup?!? Am I a bad mom because I plop ketchup in the middle of my kid's themed Car's plate?

FYI - I only own one ramekin that I obtained because I had left overs.....

tata.
diana lynn Mrs. H

You know what really gets my goat....

2009-06-18T18:27:00.001-05:00

I sometimes wonder why 65-100 year old women buy very expensive facial care products? Sometimes I just want to put up my hand and yell, "STOP - you are way past expiration...don't waste your money." If you find a cream that works - don't tell anyone because it's a freaking miracle...

You know what...??

2009-06-18T16:37:00.004-05:00

I am a big old stupid krabby patty (SpongeBob reference) right now.

And when I get in this weird-o mood I think about dumb things. Well more so then usual. I am totally mad right now because like 12 people are mowing their lawns and about 12 more are weed whacking - this wouldn't bother me on any other day but I can't hear Judge Judy. I know I have seen it a million times and I know what the verdict ends up being - but I still want to hear it. I suppose I could DVR it? Nah - then I would really get teased. My husband has already made fun of me for DVRing "Roseanne" - again I think I have seen just about every episode made. There is one that I remember for some weird reason. I don't usually see it on very often - but it's the one where Roseanne is supposed to be taking a bath and she ends up falling asleep in her bubbles. She dreams about whatever - but the thing that really stands out in my mind is when she is on trial for killing Dan. She drowns him in cream corn. It's just such an odd episode - too funny!!! Another show I DVR which I think is totally dumb is, "Sex Decoy, Love Stings"... - two of three daughter are strippers and the mom wants them to leave stripping to join the family business. Too funny -- strippers running around trying to seduce men and they are being paid for it by the girlfriend....isn't that kinda like stripping?

Anyway - I was just reading some fun articles in "Parent" magazine about ants. I LOVE ants (except in the the summer when they creep in the back patio door . .. .). They are amazing creatures....I plan to blog about how an ant get's the royal title of "Queen". How fun will that be?? =)

SAM GOT A NERD STUCK IN HIS NOSE

2009-06-15T19:31:00.004-05:00

My son just got a "Nerd" candy stuck in his nose.

Yes, you read that right - stuck in his nose... what the heck do I do??? I have tried everything to get it out...turkey baster, pepper ... you name it I did it!!!

EEK!

Mrs. Nerds

Sunday & Monday - Hello Sunday & Monday!

2009-06-15T18:15:00.003-05:00

It's 6:20 on Monday night. It feels like a Wednesday though because I had to work this past weekend. The weekend went pretty alright - aside from the balding lady with one leg longer then the other and the other woman with dragon eyes who stared at me so long I thought she was going to kill me - things went great! The balding lady with the "stump" leg was so rude. And so were her daughters. Her much older then me daughters - anyway - Ms. Bald Stump's daughter kept saying, "Interesting" to everything I said. Either she doesn't get out much or she thought I was nuts. Interesting...

Nothing else really is going on. I am a bit concerned with North Korea and their insane leader - this is going to be the start of a nuclear winter ... just wait. eeek! I am watching the Simpsons right now that I recorded last night. It's pretty funny. Boy oh boy is Homer so dumb! ;)

Okay well I must go and do something other then sitting on the computer. I bet if we didn't have a lap top I wouldn't spend so much time on the computer - but then I couldn't blog - and then I couldn't make any money - hey CLICK ON THE ADS OKAY? =)

TaTa for now!
diana lynn

2009-06-15T16:58:00.006-05:00

25 random facts about ME!

~25~

I love to drink beer in the bathtub

~24~

My favorite book is, "Boy Crazy Stacey"

~23~

I think every scary looking house is haunted

~22~

I was a member of pogo.com for two years

~21~

I can clap with one hand

~20~

My best friend calls me "Bana" and I call her "Balls"

~19~

I thumb wrestled with my husband when I was in labor

~18~

I am a firm believer in aliens and God

~17~

I feel sorry for people who are mean to other people

~16~

I used to have a VW Bug and miss it everyday

~15~

I once told someone I had a pet squirrel

~14~

I forgive easier then I should

~13~

I am superstitious (number 13! eek!!)

~12~

I am on an active search for the lost city of "Atlantis"

~11~

I think it's funny when Sam gets frustrated

~10~

I love watching the Simpsons

~09~

I know every song Jewel has ever written

~08~

I yodel when I am alone

~07~

I want to go to the moon

~06~

I think there is life on Mars and they are so mad that Earth has sent a huge robot to their planet and crushed their tiny towns.

~05~

My favorite movie is "Showgirls"

~04~

I like to play nintendo with my bf balls

~03~

Hello Kitty is my idol

~02~

Pink is my favorite color

~01~

When Sam was first born even though they told me he was a boy, I didn't believe the doctor, the nurse, my husband...when I saw he was a boy I cried, "It's a boooy...." and I couldn't be happier!

- honorable mention -

I hope to have a baby girl really soon :)

Hello Mr. Saturday Night!!

2009-06-13T21:51:00.002-05:00

hi! so it's 9:51 p.m. saturday night - i really should be putting my kid to bed but he's playing so nice with his cars and a box of "nerds" candy he found somewhere(?). that makes me nervous - the "nerds" candy - "nerds" are so messy. i am finally understanding why my parents made me eat "nerds" outside when i was younger. i just figured it was because i was a messy eater ... nope it was messy candy. perhaps i should be concerned he has candy at 9:51 p.m. ??

.. .anyway. ..

so my husband is gone doing a security gig at beechwood this evening(where the hell is beechwood?). it's no fun seeing him leaving for work all the time, but yet we are still broke? =) it's some picnic where i bet "oil can harry" is playing. i used to love watching "oil can harry" play when i was younger (a.k.a. five years ago - i am not THAT old....) but it usually means a rowdy bunch. i am sure he's having some fun but missing us. we are missing him!

**nerds update** they are as we speak falling in between each cushion. ..

so i guess tomorrow when i get home from work i will be vacuuming the couch. my son is adorable and incredibly smart - however he is still a toddler and awfully messy. speaking of working tomorrow - i usually don't (side note: my son just told me he was hungry and didn't want me to cook - we should, "order a pizza - yeah") work on the weekends but was needed to help work the front desk. i had a blast! it wasn't a crazy busy day but the flow was nice and i was working with awesome people. i had a lot of fun today however still dread getting up tomorrow morning to work - uck. thank God my wonderful babysitter did ALL my dishes today ... hannah you rock!! i can come home tomorrow and only have to worry about doing the laundry...

alright so i am headed to bed to get a good night's sleep and rock the front desk at the spa tomorrow - bright and early - really bright and early ...

tata for now!
di.lynn

10 reasons I wish I was SpongeBob

2009-06-13T16:11:00.017-05:00

#10
SpongeBob's Pineapple under the sea is paid for. No mortgage payment, no rent - nothing. And the best part? Even if it gets eaten by nematodes - all you have to do is replant the seed and your pineapple house grows back!

#9
SpongeBob's jellyfish hunting hobby is cheap, fun, easy and always in season. My hobby of drinking beer get's rather expensive!

#8
Sponge Bob has reached the level of an ideal tan - sun bleached. I haven't even gotten close.

#7
SpongeBob can't drive. While he wishes he could drive - I would be happy not having to pay a car payment, insurance, gas ... etc.

#6
SpongeBob LOVES everything about his job at the Krusty Krab. I do enjoy my job very much however I am never as excited as SpongeBob is to go to work - wish I was!

#5
SpongeBob's pet snail Gary - is the perfect companion...he doesn't talk back and takes care of himself . I have a household of boys who talk back!

#4
SpongeBob has the widest variety of friends. A squid, squirrel, star fish and a crab (not pictured is Mr. Krabs) . My friends, while wonderful and unique - don't compare to a star fish and I know I don't compare to a talking sponge...

#3
SpongeBob wears his emotions on his sleeve so you always know how he is feelings. He also is always optimistic and gives life his best shot! While I try to keep a smile on my face I do get frustrated quite a bit - and swear.

#2
SpongeBob is a local Fry Cook Legend. I am not a local Fry Cook Legend - wish I was...

...and the #1 reason I wish I was SpongeBob SquarePants.....

* SpongeBob has been able to wear the same size square pants since 1993 *