Forget boring morning routines. Pull a random card from this 60-piece affirmation jar and kick off your day with the kind of dry, sarcastic wisdom your therapist definitely did not prescribe. Adulting just got way more bearable.

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$21.99

Guardbot is the rolling surveillance robot that’s tough enough to traverse almost any terrain and stand up to the harshest weather conditions. This fierce bot is powered by a motorized pendulum and is ideal for providing an extra layer of security on large properties.

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$0.00

Keep game night at your place from getting too stale with Hand Jobs. In this fast-paced card game, players will compete with each other to see who can perform and complete the most hand jobs from the deck of cards.

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$10.00

Graphene and aerogel insulation that adapts as temperatures drop overnight sounds too good to be true, but the Tardigrade Sleeping System is real. Modular, lightweight, and finally an upgrade from the nylon tube you have been tolerating for years.

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$359.00

Exact petty revenge on your enemies by signing them up for this brilliantly evil service that will automatically send them major TV show spoilers to their phones via text message. Best of all, your victims will never know you’re behind this cruel form of torture!

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$0.99

Stop committing to a full bottle of perfume you might hate after just three wears. Scentbird delivers a new designer scent monthly in a refillable case, with over 1,000 options to rotate through. Your nose deserves a subscription.

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$17.95

Boost your setup with the Mobile Pixels Geminos 24″ Stacked Monitors – dual screens, perfectly aligned top-to-bottom for max efficiency and comfort. No rotating, just seamless vertical viewing with fewer scrolls, less strain, and way more screen real estate.

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$584.99

There’s no greater way to throw away your hard earned cash than on the useless box. This completely useless box features a sleek black frame and switch that when flicked prompts a small metallic finger to come out and switch it back off – that’s literally all it does.

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$14.99

These hyperrealistic masks look so convincing it’s unsettling. They’re expertly crafted from silicone with incredible attention do detail and are available in a range of pop culture icons like Thanos, Walter White, The Joker, and He Who Must Not Be Named.

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$1,299.99

Roll dice through an actual tree and store them in its branches like the fantasy nerd you proudly are. The Treant Tower holds 21 dice across 3 full sets and doubles as the best shelf piece your game room has ever seen.

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$34.95

Witness the destructive power of compressed air with this Shockwave Cannon. Built around a massive high pressure tank and lightning fast release system, it unleashes a brutal spear of air capable of turning watermelons into airborne confetti.

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$0.00

Meet the bird feeder that IDs your backyard visitors better than you ever will. Solar powered, 4K camera, AI species recognition for 10,000 birds, and shareable with 20 family members. Your retired family member needs this ASAP.

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$139.99

Prepare yourself for some pretty heavy news, because for the first time you can own a pair of Back To The Future shoes, just like Marty McFly. These limited edition shoes bring 2015’s latest trends to the present; no sneaker head or movie buff will be able to resist.

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$7,500.00

Stop camping and start surviving with the Mammoth Overland XLE, the aircraft-grade trailer built for bears, blackouts, and the end of civilization. Bulletproof glass, blast shields, bear spray cannons, a Geiger counter, and a king bed. Glamping is dead.

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$123,944.00