Thomas Learns To Blog

LOL

noreply@blogger.com (ThOmAs) — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 09:14:00 +0000

LOL. Gosh. They're the most bo liao people on earth.

Boo!

noreply@blogger.com (ThOmAs) — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 08:39:00 +0000

This is a cake. Gosh, a cake! That's genius!

And for the most ridiculous and creative cake that have ever been created~

OMG. Speechless.

And I LOL-ed. LOL!

Anyway, just a short update. Sorry for the absense, was totally thrashed by preliminary examination.

It's ending tomorrow though! Wish me luck!!!

Batman, Paper Edition

noreply@blogger.com (ThOmAs) — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 13:19:00 +0000

In the broad day light where it's no longer safe to walk around, where evil lurks everywhere, Batman undergoes a magical transformation to adapt to the day.

Introducing, THE WHITE BATMAN!!!!

Shape of paper crafted by Michael. Drawings, by yours sincerely.

Batman stands high above the skyscrapper, watching over the suffering students being attack by A levels.

In the end, he decided to do something.

OUT COME HIS BAT MOBILE!!

Okay..my brain is fried. Although I haven't started studying yet. It has already officially frozen and fried. Like erm, fried ice cream. Erm, yeah. Something like that.

Getting very stressed over not starting to study, which is really very very bad.

OH

SHIT

STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!

noreply@blogger.com (ThOmAs) — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 12:31:00 +0000

STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

EVERYWHERE'S STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

EVERYTHING STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

EVERY SUBJECT ALSO STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

EVEN THE PIMPLE ON MY FACE ALIGNED TO SPELL STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!

Me Like Me Love

noreply@blogger.com (ThOmAs) — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 10:18:00 +0000

Bye Bye by Mariah Carey

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

As a child there were them times
I didn't get it but you kept me in line
I didn't know why you didn't show up sometimes
It's something more than saying "I miss you"
But when we talked too
All them grown folk things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show because
You loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today face to face

[Chorus:]
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
"I wish I could find a way try not to cry"
As time goes by
And soon as you reach a better place
Still I'll give the whole world to see your face
And I'm right here next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
The hardest thing to do is say bye bye

(Bye Bye [3x])
Bye bye

And you never got the chance to see how good I've done
And you never got to see me back at number one
I wish that you were here to celebrate together
I wish that we could spend the holidays together

I remember when you used to tuck me in at night
With the Teddy Bear you gave to me that I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
That you can make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact you're gone forever

[Chorus]

(bye bye bye bye bye bye [3x])
Bye bye

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandfather
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

[Chorus]

Gosh I love this song.

The lyrics are really really nice.

Shake Head

noreply@blogger.com (ThOmAs) — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 12:06:00 +0000

iPhone 3G can be the hippiest hip hip phone ever after the first generation iPhone but come on! Lining up for more than 48 hours just to be the first one in the world to get one??

Courtesy of Engadget, Jonny Gladwell

He has lined up for more than 48 hours now, and he does that just because........ he wanted to be the first person in the world to own one. Yes.

The second person in the world to own one is

Evert Bruyns. And actually he's my favourite among the top 10 person in the world who is going to get an iPhone first.

Why?

Cz, he is buying two, and he is giving one away to the last person in-line who doesn't get their iPhone. Wow, either he is too rich, or he nothing to do but shake leg everyday.

And erm, all of them are from New Zealand, cz New Zealand will be the first country to officially announce iPhone.

Don't think this will happen in Singapore ba??

And, I think you should watch this. iPhone smoothie. Yum! If iPhone is what you dream, sleep and want and eat, then you should drink it as well. Ho Ho!

PS: Watching that video sure is hard. Nearly screeched Noooooooooooooooo

A Very Very Rojak-ed Post

noreply@blogger.com (ThOmAs) — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 15:00:00 +0000

Sorry sorry, these few days very the, erm, I don't know if i'm supposed to say i'm busy or not cz i'm not all the time busy. Hmm, let's put it this way, i'm very occupied. With many many occupying things.

Huhu! So, 3 scrappy cocoa test has passed and 1 of them got flung back to us, students.

And when I saw what I scored, well, fair enough, I didn't study hard enough, so I thought that's pretty a-o-kay.

And when I checked through my answers, something came to my mind.

Ask Michael for more information. You don't know who's Michael??????

YOU MUST BE JOUKEING!

There lies an all time genius with a samseng face and you don't know him? He's a person with the most parity anyone can ever imagined!

Anyway!

Was in the lab doing some Transition Elements practical and well, Michael was my partner and fuhh! When you're paired up with genius you get amazing stuffs!

I dunno what plus what becomes that, but I assure you, I have little to do with it. IT'S ALL THE GENIUS' IDEA!!!! (Point at Michael)

And regarding things that occupy me, a souvenir from when I was on an ice-cream binge.

See that hole!!!!! Häagen-Dazs CHEAT MA MONAY!!!!! There's a big hole in their ice cream for goodness sake!!

But cannot complain. Also dunno who to complain to. Sigh~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sigh~~~~*****~~~~~~~~

Another thing that kept me crazily occupied was erm, trying to defy gravity.

And i really mean gravity defying stunt.

NO NO! It's even better than those motor racers, their gravity defying stunts are plain chicken feat. Mine's the real deal.

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I successfully balanced the remote control of the television without any aid of anything. Muahahahaha! Gonna write this down in my CV.

And i've also got a picture of the sexiest leg that I want to show you.

Please ar, get a box of Kleenex for the drooling will not stop. Don't kan chiong, later high blood pressure blood come out of your nose and you'll need to stick a tampon into your nostril.

ARE YOU READY?!?!?

Okay, here we go.

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GO!

My very own leg! Sexy or not????

Somebody once said it looks like ~~a hot blood-red sexy~~ rambutan but I beg to differ.

I'll say it's a golf course. One that Tiger Woods would deem as "The sexiest golf course in the world"

Update:

HAVE YOU GUYS HEARD OF THE SONG "HERE I AM" BY PAUL TWOHILL YET???

If not, click here.

The song itself is not bad, but the lyrics ar, hoho, has a very contorted-read-between the lines meaning!!!

LET ME REVEAL IT TO YOU!!

You just need to listen to it one. You go find the lyrics the real meaning gone liao. You listen to the song and then read the lyrics that I heard from his song. Then you'll know what's the targetted audience for this song.

I'm waiting at the door like so many times before (Wah! WAIT AT THE DOOR! So excited ar?)

This time, I'll make it right (He'll make it right wor. His previous one he do wrongly meh?)

I know I need to be a different kind of me (Must be undergo plastic surgery liao. Then only can be different)

This time, I just might (might?)
Have a little strength to show you (WUAH! Only a little meh??!?! Sure or not? He's so excited lei!)

The reason why I'm here tonight (Ho HO! Paul horny liao!)

Here I ahem. This is the moment (Oi! Don't lau be huit can??? He coughing la!)

Here I ahem. Feel the love is waiting (ALAMAK! Really a bit wrong la! He kept ahem ahem. There somemore.)

From now, the start of something new (Er, how to start something new when you're no longer new??)

My life is not complete when I'm standing (Standing??!?!?)
Standing close to you (Close to you somemore??? Like that still not complete meh??)

I woke up in a dream. There's someone in between (SOMEONE IN BETWEEN?????)

This time, I got it right (This time only got it right, alamak, only got it right in the dream)

They are still in front of you (Gosh, his dream power lei.)

Then I realised that my wish had just come through (Gosh, I pray that the girl is alright)

This time I want my fight (He wanna fight somemore!)

This feeling may not last forever (OI! Don't flower heart can???)

So now I'll brace this magic now (You sure it's not biology and it's magic or not? I think it's biology la)

And the rest you should know liao. His lyrics very erm, exciting hor??

I LOVE MY APPLE!

noreply@blogger.com (ThOmAs) — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 14:56:00 +0000

Nuffnang, Apple, I know you two love me a lot! You don't have to ask me if I love you or not, cz you know the answer liao hor. I lube you la~

So so, gib me the iPod Touch okay???? Can la hor?? I very very in love with you guys la. So gib me okay?

Okay, that sounded very gay. Ho Ho!!

Nowadays everyone gila-gila crazy-crazy over the new iPhone 3G that is gonna be released to 22 countries on the 11th of July (New Zealand gonna be the first country to get iPhone 3G) and the rest of the MANY MANY countries later this year. But if you guys want to see the unveiling of the iPhone 3G, see here. Steve Jobs, founder and CEO of Apple presenting himself wei! GO GO SEE!

VERY CHIO RIGHT? The other day I saw Helga, an ASEAN Merit holder I think, holding one of the first generation one, straight away I kept looking at her direction. I dunno why. Hopefully she don't think i'm attracted to her! Okay, that was half-kidding ar!

BUT BUT! I'm not as in love with iPod and iPhones lei, although still very very la.

WHAT I REALLY LOVE, is the MACBOOK SERIES!

Smallest in size is MacBook Air

Second in size, just slightly thicker is, the MacBook.

Then the best, most powerful one and yet still retaining the size is the MacBook Pro.

Ho Ho!

Hmm, some Ah Beng might ask,

"Eh! You need sooo MANY diffelent kind of MacBooks for what you tiao me?!?!?! I tot people normally have 1 enough oledi????"

I tell you Chao Ah Beng, different laptop got different function geh!

I start with MacBook Air la hor.

MacBook Air how thin you tell me? 0.16 to 0.76 inch thin! Then inside of the MacBook Air got what you tell me? Got special reduced sized Intel Core 2 Duo microprocessor plus a lot a lot of stuffs lo. You can use it as a laptop ( I mean this is what laptop are made for wat).

You can also use it as a Chick Magnet lei. Chio Bu walk pass you and then OMG! they come sit on your lap just to have a glance at your laptop. Nice lei??

But what if hor, on that day, your girlfriend/boyfriend having birthday party, got one very very big cake! And everybody bring one laptop go there la, cz it's like a high-tech party, AND THEN, it's time to cut the cake. THEN OMG! No knife! The cake shop fellow forget to give you the plastic knife. Then your parents all keep knife away, scared you all emo commit suicide. How to cut the cake?!?!?!

Then ngam ngam you got MacBook Air right? Use it to cut cake la!!!

Don't understand what i'm saying ar?

This guy is Rahul Sood, founder of Voodoo and a Hp CTO, so short-short call him Hp executive la. He use MacBook Air to cut his birthday cake ya know. I no bluff you wan. He from other competitor company somemore lei.

But you know what's the best thing? The MacBook Air still functions like brand new even after the cake cutting.

Imagine la, instead of using MacBook Air, you go use say, erm, Dell XPS, also small form factor kind of laptop go slice cake and see!

YOUR CAKE BECOME LIKE THAT!

Smashed beyond recognition.

Ah Beng: Wah! Laptop with hand-gesture recognition trackpad, using Core 2 Duo then somemore so light and so thin, somemore thin until can cut cake ar??? I want!

Thomas: Of course you want la! Who don't want?? Not only can cut cake ar, can cut German's bread also lei!

Know why the left guy got blood? MacBook Air thin until too sharp already. Cut his own skin. =.="

Next up, MacBook Pro!

This one totally different function one. This one, like the name suggest, is for pros and high-end users. Why? You see ar, you need to be able to differentiate what's a PC and what's a Mac. A PC is a computer that runs Microsoft Windows. A Mac is a computer that is designed by Apple to run Mac OS X.

Then, not too long ago, PC World (Yes, the very very very FAMOUS magazine for PC buying guides and solutions!) tested a few laptops, including MacBook Pro that runs Windows Vista under Boot Camp and you know what they say? MacBook Pro is the FASTEST LAPTOP THEY'VE EVER TESTED! Just a few months ago only. That's why it's for all those demanding people lo.

MacBook Under Boot Camp

See how powderful it is??

Ah Beng: Then what about MacBook lei??

Thomas: Be patient~ Very fast coming liao okay?

You know la, cool looking stuff and amazing laptops are things that thieves will always wanna steal right? And moreover, MacBook is one of the hottest selling laptops for students in both Colleges and Universities due to it's performance : stability : reliability : price ratio. In fact, every year, Apple will hold offers for students going back or enrolling into a new school, called the Back to School promotion and it only makes the price of a MacBook line-up cheaper, plus a free iPod!

Then if your precious laptop with all your assignments and private information inside kena steal how? You want to get it back and catch the thief right? See, only MacBooks (actually all MacBook line-ups can do it, but MacBooks most popular among students wat) can do this stunt!

But for this thing to take off, MacBook must tag team with MobileMe (previously known as .Mac) la. This is team work one. YOU CAN CATCH THIEF WITH MACBOOK AND MOBILEME!

"$%#@ WHAT THE HIAO! LAPTOP CAN CATCH THIEF?!?!? LAPTOP GOT LEG AR?!? YOU SIAO OR NOT?!?! I THINK YOU BETTER GO BACK IMH LA!"

Trust me la. I bluff you for what?? This story, last month only! May 11th.

There is a girl, an Apple Store employee in New York host a party in her apartment. And then, few weeks later, her electronics including her MacBook got stolen. She then of course very sad la right?

The girl sad sad sad for a few days. Because she subscribe to .Mac account that time right, her laptop will always be connected to the Apple provided service if it got connected to internet wat. Anytime anywhere, she can access her laptop if it's switched on la.

So, one fine day, a few days after her apartment kena invade by burglars, her friend saw her MacBook online!! Then, she activated the Back to My Mac screen sharing feature available in .Mac (now in MobileMe) and she was able to use it to view what the burglars were doing with her laptop, as if she's standing right in front of the laptop and also use the laptop as if she's using it there and then.

THEN YOU KNOW WHAT SHE DO?? You know right, MacBook line-ups got built-in webcam called the iSight right?

She activated Photo Booth (A feature in Mac OS X Leopard) via the screen-sharing function, take a picture of the burglar and send it to the police! BUSTED! So even if the thief steal your laptop, the thief cannot use it to go online. Sad for them right?

See, who say you cannot catch a thief with MacBook??????

Actually, I already like the MacBook line-ups all the way back since early 2006 la. When Apple announced MacBooks as replacements from PowerBooks.

Steve Jobs was presenting it on one of Apple Special Event and I watched the entire thing!!

Gosh, got so high of blogging I forgot why am I blogging.

I currently own an iPod Nano the 3rd Generation (and I love it! Although the screen is a tid bit small, and cannot touch here touch there) and next up, next year most probably, i'm gonna go get a MacBook!

OH YA!

Almost all of these extremely chio pictures are taken from http://store.apple.com/sg/ . Go and have a look lei!! They have more products than this lo! You haven't seen GarageBand yet!! What are you waiting for??

Very Disappointed

noreply@blogger.com (ThOmAs) — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 13:47:00 +0000

So disappointed is what I am with myself.

I couldn't believe that after countless of careless mistake that i've done in the past, and in the recent test, I am still making careless mistakes that I should have realised during the examination and not regret over it after the test is over.

So disappointed is what I am with myself for not learning from mistakes and repeating it repeatedly. A small careless mistake goes a long way and I've seen myself being screwed by it 3 times, one after another without a break between the interval, and I strongly believe, I am going to be screwed once again.

I just realised that, the careless mistake is so huge, that I will most probably be dead my the time I know what harm it has caused me.

So bloody disappointed.

My Momma's Bet

noreply@blogger.com (ThOmAs) — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 15:39:00 +0000

Me: Eh! If I score all As for my 3 H2 for my prelims ar, what will you give me ar??

Mum: Give you?? I praise you la, I say you very pro la.

Me: Eee, I don't want lei. EH EH! I KNOW LIAO! If I get all 3 H2 As, you walk on your hand from the door to your room!!! CAN CAN???

Mum: HAR? Like that you need to hold my leg lei. I cannot balance.

Me: OKAY AR! ON AR!

Mum: BUT WAIT!!!! IF YOU NEVER GET LEI?? YOU WALK FROM THE DOOR TO YOUR ROOM OKAY??

Me: Erm, okay la! On la!

HEHEHEHEHEHE! Everyone, wanna see my mummy walk on her hand???? Come come pray for me pray I get all A. HOHO!

Lots of Things Compiled Into One Due to Laziness

noreply@blogger.com (ThOmAs) — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 15:40:00 +0000

Have you seen a Piglet erecting? If you haven, this is your chance! Apparently, Huilian's Piglet erected on the 6th of June, a day before her birthday!

Ok, warning ar...mostly all videos ar. From here onwards. Cz videos can say more than a thousand words.

Okay, now the warming up session ended.

NOW COMES THE VIDEO YOU'LL NOT REGRET WATCHING!!

First up, I need to educate you on who Wonder Girls are and about their song Tell Me.

This is their song. Now look at this boy dancing.

HE'S SO CUTE!!!!! LOOK AT THE WAY HE DANCE!!!

Okay, now that's over, LOOK AT THIS!

If you want more information about Ye Eun the Pianist who is more gifted that Mozart, please go to Huilian's Blog or Cherie's Blog. Heck, Mozart got special piano training. YE EUN HAS NEVER! NEVER!!!! SHE'S BLIND TOO! SEE THAT! I cried watching those videos i swear to God i'm dead serious.

And Connie Talbot, HAH! 6 year old who sing better than Mariah Carey! Gosh, these 2 sweet pumpkins made my day. And really, you can even cry listening to Connie singing too!!!

Take this!

THIS!

YOU CRIED YET?!?!?

NO???

NOW TAKE THIS!!!!

AND THIS!!!!!!!!!!!

THERE! CRY TO DEATH!

If you're just too lazy to load videos then just too bad. You can always skip the first two video if you want to, but oh well, if you want to skip every one of them you missed a chance to actually look at angels. =)

Best Birthday Since 9

noreply@blogger.com (ThOmAs) — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 11:47:00 +0000

When I was younger than 9, if I was not wrong, every birthday of mine will be celebrated with a small party, inviting friends and neighbours over for a small eatover. And after that, the kids, basically my friends and I, will be running around playing like hooligans.

Now, after so many years of boredom during birthday, I thought birthdays are just like any other days, or sometimes even worse than a normal day.

Well, this year sure changed a lot. I've never been wished "Happy Birthday!" at 00 00 hour of 4th of June before but this year, Huilian was the first one to wished me. Followed by Sharon, the second, just minutes away after Huilian. And then Kah Xian. And then Nelly.

That's before I go to bed.

After I woke up on my birthday, went to school and all. They were all sniggering and all. AND because of my great IDEA of giving Nelly a SANITARY PAD FOR HIS BIRTHDAY, karma came to me and this time, I got a

PACIFIER!!

Okay, this is weird. It's not Nelly's idea mind you. It's ANOTHER person's idea. He's gonna get one real pranking on his birthday. Wrapped nicely in Kukumalu wrapper, no one would have thought it was a pacifier (actually I knew it was a pacifier, because I have a spy who informed me about it. HEHEHEHEHEHE!).

Hey! This is a high-quality pacifier for goodness sake! For one, it's made in Germany. Secondly, it looks like a condom.

It looks like a condom for baby. I don't know why. And it's so minute.

Anyway, HOW DO YOU GUYS KNOW I NEED A PACIFIER?!?!?! I MEAN SERIOUSLY! THANKS!

You guys must have heard me saying that I couldn't sleep at night and sometimes for days and you guys must have also thought "Hey, know what, let's get him something that'll make him sleep better!"

And got me a PACIFIER!

Now I can sleep tight at night with my sunglasses, so i'll look like a cool baby. YAY!

That's just a prank gift to begin with. The actual gift was actually this.

A 60 pieces Disney 3D puzzle, also initially nicely wrapped in Kukumalu wrapper.

It's so nicely illustrated, it has even got these instructions printed on it.

BUT WAIT A MINUTE!!!!

What's this??

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It says "Incl GST S$ 21.90"

Anybody can tell me what that is?

She's Gonna Kill Me!

noreply@blogger.com (ThOmAs) — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 16:18:00 +0000

Well, you see, okay, I changed my desktop background and, I shall not talk much, just look at this.

She's trying to KILL ME! SHE KEPT LOOKING AT ME! WHAT DOES SHE WANT? SHE WANNA SHOOT ME! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

AND SHE SAYS "PLAY!"

She also sings "I'm SO HOT HOT HOT!". I SWEAR iTUNES IS BANGING ON ME! AAAAAAA!

Something About Something

noreply@blogger.com (ThOmAs) — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 10:51:00 +0000

This is something that i've been wondering for a very long time but I never seem to be able to make any sense out of it BECAUSE, somehow, I don't understand why some people prefer to act that way.

Firstly, when you have someone in your contact (i'm talking about instant messaging here), and when you didn't chat with the person for a very very (and I mean very long) LONG time, you do not expect that person to suddenly chat with you all of a sudden, do you?

And if you agree with me, good. But if you beg to differ, and say,

"Hey! The person can chat with me alright? Come on! We didn't chat for so long because the person didn't bother to chat me up. Is it my fault?"

Ooooookaaaaaaay. You've argued your case, now, why not turn around, and ask yourself

"Why haven't I chat with the person?"

Great. And, let's make a scenario out of this alright? Let's say, you've this HUGE contact list, and 80% of them don't talk to you, and suddenly, ALL OF A SUDDEN, this person whom you haven't talk to online for ages says "HELLO!", you'd obviously be very friendly back and say hello too right?

Now that's still okay. And what if, after the person says "hello", he/she goes on and punch a line that says

"Hey, I was just wondering, do you have a printer/are there any homework for tomorrow?/what did the teacher thought for lecture today?/did you copy the notes that the teacher wrote on the board? (or something like that)"

You'll answer that person alright. And after that, he/she goes on and say "THANK YOU" and puff, disappeared! Even if you continued the conversation, he/she will not reply, and even if he/she replies to you, he'll/she'll take so damn long it's long enough for you to shit 100 times. HOW'S THAT??? Feels great?

OBVIOUSLY NOT!

Let's port this issue to the mobile arena shall we? You have these people's number, they have yours too. But you haven't smsed or talked to them over the phone for AAAAAAAGES! Extremely long. Then all of a sudden, oh my god, you hears that the Great Singapore Sale has been changed! It's gonna be at the end of the year! What do you do?

A) You sms/call people whom you have contacted with all these while/can remember
B) You spam your sms count by smsing everyone in your contact list, be it the person you know or you don't know hoping to attain nirvana
C) You go and think oh so hard for hours, who should i contact and who will benefit by me contacting them and then you slowly contact them.

Which one? I think it's an A right? Seriously, which one?

And speaking of that, it reminds me of two-faced people. I really and wholeheartedly agrees with Ding Lay Chooi and i share the exact same hatred towards these people.

It's one story when you focus on your studies and plays with people when you have the time, but it's another story when you appears one way behind the superior and another way in front of them.

There are many terms used to call them. I'll try to list them all. Know what? I think i better not. I think you guys know exactly what I mean.

Cheers~!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On a totally unrelated topic, have you seen a 5 year-old elephant before? This one is rather special though. It breaks the Guiness World of Record!!!!!

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A bit more
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Don't give up. Your effort will pay*~*
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Why Do They Love Walking Looking at The Floor??

noreply@blogger.com (ThOmAs) — Sat, 31 May 2008 13:47:00 +0000

Argh, i am getting really frustrated right now and I have to say something.

I went out for a jog just now around the housing area at about 8 pm and there's this bands of I don't know who, not just an entourage of them, but different different bands of them, walking as if it's their grandfather's road and just couldn't care less.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THEM?

Are you like freaking blind or something??

Have such a freaking low self-esteem that you can't actually look in front and walk and you'll have to dig a hole on the ground and plant your bloody head in it??

You must be a serious joke!

YOU'RE BLOCKING THE ENTIRE SIDEWALK AND YOU'RE STILL WALKING AS IF YOU'RE A TANK!

HEY IDIOTS! IT'S RAINING AND OTHER THAN THE PAVEMENT, EVERYTHING'S MUDDY. YOU THINK YOU'RE INVINSIBLE? OH WAIT, MAYBE YOU ARE.

P.S: Okay, sounded a little frustrated. Actually I am very frustrated.

Singapore Flyers (And a Series of Stuffs That Might Scare You To Death)

noreply@blogger.com (ThOmAs) — Tue, 27 May 2008 15:57:00 +0000

On Saturday, Ho Ho, thanks to Nuffnang Singapore, I get to go for a ride on the Singapore Flyers along with a few other "family" members, mostly cousins lar. One of my them is my retarded brother. I'll explain more later.

I was given 7 tickets you see. So, I took out 10 piece of Mahjong paper, drew out the entire family tree of mine, linking each and everyone with perfect naming, and select the best 6 candidates to go with me on the ride.

So, after choosing, the recruiting begins. It was tough. I have to tell you it was really tough.

Skipping all the boring details,

6 tickets all together. Too bad long lost Michael Atmadja *cough* Diong wasn't able to go with me as he has got a date with his soon-to-be wife. So yeah, haiya, Michael, you could have brought along your wife wat! Wat's so hard? Miss Lim didn't get to go also cz she was down with work. T.T Too hardworking liao. Huhu.

The ticketing booth is actually this.

But I skipped this procedure and went through this one.

The NTUC counter on the left. Aiya, dunno how to tell you. Very the scary.

Anyway, me, my mum and Fendy (yah, he's the retarded brother I was talking about just now) went there first and we waited for my 3 cousins. While there, lots of stuffs la. Shall save you of the itsy bitsy no use details.

Now now, Singapore Flyers is not like what you see and derive from the online booking system that you've seen, if you actually have visited their website. When you go online, what you see is booking of tickets based on timing and each intervals are as long as 30 minutes. But the real deal is, YOU'LL STILL HAVE TO QUEUE WHEN YOU'RE THERE.

Okay, that wasn't meant to sound unpleasant or unappreciative. But it's the fact.

See what I mean? Queueing everywhere. I didn't take a picture of the Country Border-like gantry but I think you should have gotten the idea of how tight the security is there if you've been in and out of Singapore before.

Before I go any further, Singapore Flyers is where you will wanna go if,

- You have too much time and money to spend
- You've never experienced these kind of rides before and you wanna lose your virginity to it
- You love camwhoring (Major deciding factor)

There! There! See! I told you i'm not good at lying.

The cabin's arriving~

And in we go.

While we're less than a quarter through it, I realised something.

No Exit

and

Exit

Oi! You siao ar? People in mid air how to exit? You joker ar you? Go fly kite lar you! (I don't know why i'm scolding the cabin. I sot sot right?)

They look like they're having one hell of a time shitting in the cabin.

This is how the inside of the cabin should look like. See how many people it's fitting. I wonder if everyone were to jump at the same time, what will happen. Hmmmmmmmm...

And presenting to you,

He think's he's spiderman. He wanna jump out of the cabin. =.= He looked me in the eye and say "With great power, comes great responsibility. Don't stop me, for i'm destined to do this"

Amazing. Amazing. No wonder his grades are ever so great. With great power, comes great compromise. Cough *mental stability* cough.

And somehow he kept smiling.

And looking at ma "thing".

Fendy :Yo you've got one hot sexy momma there yo ~
Thomas: Yeah man, been takin' real good care of it yo. Dang it yo, why are you lookin' at it yo?

Oops. Sorry wrong picture.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is my mother.

And so is this too. While she was emoing. Or enjoying the view. Whichever fits.

But she can't be enjoying the view right? Cz that side is the side where the construction plan was taking place. Right?

I don't know what we were doing. I seriously don't. If i'm not wrong, we were looking at a bus? Erm, right.

Now i'll let you enjoy some of the pictures that some of us took.

No captions, already spent hours here. Sob.

You get the idea. What we see up there, is the same, over and over again, we got so terribly bored of taking photos. I'm serious. No joke. Really serious. Really not joking.

Anyway, you must be wonder, you only talk about your retarded brother, you and your mother, what about your cousins??

With all grace, there they are. The one in white pants is exactly 365 days older than me. The one in jeans and the one in red have the same birthday as well. Wicked right? So this is considered an advance birthday gift to them.

This 4th of June girl is a frigging genius. She took 4 H2, scored all As, and she says "Don't need to study wan la! Still very early. I after June only study"

This red girl (you must be so anxious to know how she looks like right? Muahaha, keep you in suspense first) is the 7th of June girl who's soooo good at taking HOT stuffs she says "Shiok!" when I was crying, trying to finish my Yellow Ginger Chicken Rice. God~

And this, another 7th of June girl is ever so candid. And after she kena the candid she'll pout and you'll go "okay okay, sorry sorry I'll delete it right away!"

Together, they look like this.

And if we were to include me, Fendy and my mother, we'll look like this.

And so yeah, after this thing, they actually sell pictures to us as souvenirs. But it cost 15 dollars for one. Can you believe it???? WHY ARE YOU GOUGING US LIKE THIS??? Sob.

Anyway, my mum timed it, and the ride lasted for about 40 minutes? Yah, something like that.

I still don't understand this though.

Is his nostril enlarged, or is there something wrong with the photo???

**********************************************

On a totally unrelated event.

My mother: *pointing at Felicia Chin* She's pretty right??

Me: Ok la.

Mother: Ok only? If she's not pretty then who pretty? Like your Chemistry Teacher ar?

Me:Aiya, my Chem teacher pretty, Felicia also pretty la actually. Somemore got Fiona Xie.

Mother: Fiona Xie ok only la. She pretty meh?

Me: Ok only? If she's not pretty then who pretty?

Mother:

=.=!|!

Nuffnang Has Extremely Friendly Staffs!!

noreply@blogger.com (ThOmAs) — Wed, 21 May 2008 11:51:00 +0000

First to begin with, yesterday was an extremely tough day with crazy neck breaking long lectures taking place plus insufficient sleep mash up all into one. It's like the most disastrous thing anyone can ever think of, and that's not the first time it happens. Jee, I think i'm an insomniac.

Anyway, late last time, about 11 (?) I think, I was busy browsing the web, refreshing pages like a siao kia cz I can't continue study, you know, brain fried after chemistry drilling and excruciating torture in Physics lecture ( KNOW HOW HARD IZZIT TO STAY AWAKE DURING PHYSICS OR NOT?????? I CANNOT SLEEP AT NIGHT BUT ONCE ENTER PHYSICS CLASS, I CONFIRM, GOT PEOPLE SLAP ME OR NOT, STILL SLEEP! WHY WHY???)

Then ya know, I suddenly recalled that the date of announcement of the lucky bloggers for this "competition" (at least that's what I call it)

is on the next day, which is today! And meanwhile, while I was browsing, I came across blog post claiming they have received calls from Cherie who break the news (they've won tickets for zoo and stuffs) to them.

OF COURSE TAKEN A BACK LA!

Then then, think think awhile, I thought maybe, I should just shut down my computer and study.

Well, something very very sibei de crazy de I dunno wat de weird happened. "Someone" sms me, to tell me to come online cz *sorry la cannot tell you. If I tell you them SOMEBODY KNOW ar, I die ar*.

Since I come online liao, might as well go check e-mail jek. I log into my account and guess what I see???

CHERIE'S E-MAIL!!!

You not scared I scared ar! Before I even started reading the post the glistening position of "Advertising Accounts Executive" was SOOOoOoooOooooo strong, that I froze for a moment.

THEN THEN THEN!!!!

VERY CHI KEIK NOW VERY CHI KEIK NOW! HOLD ON HOLD ON! COMING LIAO COMING LIAO! MIEN KAN CHIONG CAN??

Cherie announced with an angelic sweet voice (OK LA OK LA, I was imagining things) "Congratulations on winning the tickets to Singapore Flyer."

SHOCK TIO!

*Screen shaking*

Really very very shocked for a moment! No bruff you wan.

Then I suddenly got things wanna ask la, cz I dunno something ma, you know, never sit before Singapore Flyers, I don't think i've even seen it from afar also.

I e-mail over, that time very late liao, next day, she replied!!

0.0

I e-mailed Australian National University they took blardy long to reply. E-mailed Cherie she took less than a day to reply. WUAH!!!

Then THEN! CAN CHAT WITH HER SOMEMORE! ok la, not chat la. I think i'm imagining stuffs again. Only sent 2 e-mails over actually.

=.=||

BUT, still, very very de friendly!

COME ON! I'm not bruffing you can? Don't say I kiss backside now ar! I don't even know her okay? What for kiss backside??? No point wat! Backside very nice to kiss meh??

BUT I HAVE TO EMPHASISE SHE'S VERY VERY NICE!

Now, the last problem is to pursuade my mum to go with me on a ride on the Singapore Flyers. And must either find a xiao di di or mei mei or ah ma or bei bei to come with me. Huhu.

T.T Having a workaholic as a mother is-not-fun.

Anyway, something so damn funny me and my mother laughed for 20 minutes non-stop.

I chilop this from Rojaks.BlogSpot.Com. Shhhh. Okay la okay la. Wrong to chilop stuff la. So So, if free you go his blog see see lo. Since I chilop his stuff.

ZOMFG!!!

noreply@blogger.com (ThOmAs) — Sun, 18 May 2008 07:25:00 +0000

Samsung has been really crazy nowadays! I MEAN REALLY REALLY CRAZY that kind.

They've been coming up with crazy handphones, crazy laptops, crazy SSD drives. Everything about them is crazy. Look at this.

Look at this! This is Samsung's latest laptop concept with everything OLED. This is just pure genius and brilliant! Imagine a 12.1 inches laptop with fully customized keyboard and as thin as a cardboard sitting on your lap.

With Samsung, it's not too hard to imagine. DANG I WANT THAT! Please change the phase of concept to MASS PRODUCTION PLEASE!

And before you know it, LOOK AT THIS!!!!!

MY brain, hurts. It hurts. Gosh. This is crazy. WATCH IT! IT's really amazing!

Further Updates:

Look at this iin full screen. Just follow what is said on the screen. You'll experience one of the rare experience. Trust me! Really. Everything's fine. No sudden boom of ghost or whatever. It's true. Everything will looks different after you tried that out.

Still Thinking of What to Write for Personal Qualities?

noreply@blogger.com (ThOmAs) — Sat, 17 May 2008 16:14:00 +0000

Well, are you still scratching your head over what to write for personal qualities so that your tutors can include them in your testimonial? Fret not ladies and gentlemen, for I, will help you out with my fullest effort.

Now say

thank you

.

*hears a large crowd screaming thank you in a synchronize manner*

Okay, good.

Write the standard introduction and potential okay. I'll only tell you how to write "Sense of Appreciation", "Sense of Responsibility", "Leadership" and "Enterprise".

I'll use Ah Kau as the person la hor.

So listen up very very very carefully.

Sense of Appreciation

Ah Kau is a very responsible person. In appreciation of arts, he run around the school like a giant hooligan as he feels that people are forgetting "Tarzan" and is reminding them of how important it is to remember tales that have been forgotten. He takes his learnings very seriously and appreciates every single thing that his lecturer thought him. For example, he sleeps in lecture every time as he feels that quality sleeps is equivalent to quality grades, thus, giving him more understanding of the subject when he go home and read it himself. To name all things that he has done to appreciate studies alone is arduous enough, let alone living.

Sense of Responsibility

Ah Kau is also one of a hell of a responsible kid. Even using the word hell says how responsible he is. It shows how responsible he is towards his goal of emphasising more on his sense of responsibility by using a certainly unusual word for his Personal Qualities. In class, whenever he feels like going to the washroom, he'll go quitely without the teacher knowing as he does not want to disrupt the class' learning. He slams the door real hard when he goes out as he feels that every second the door is left open equals to every dm^3 of cold air that ran away, which in turns causes the class to be less cold and not as comfortable as it used to be. He also acted like a chao ah gua so that the guys in his class can feel more manly and the girls can have a trustworthy gay friend.

Leadership

I have nothing much to say about leadership regarding Ah Kau. I tell you, if he cannot lead, I don't think Barack Obama or Hilary Clinton can lead already. You must be freaking blind and i have to emphasise this. You tell me, he can teach the whole class how to scold badword, he can teach the whole class how to be ah beng and ah lian, WHAT ELSE HE CANNOT DO???? That's why i'll have to say he's the best leader in the world.

Enterprise

HOR HOR HOR! NOW REACH CLIMAX LIAO! Enterprise!?!?!?! That's the best description Ah Kau can ever have CAN??? He day day night night go Geylang sell backside, that's not enterprise then you call wat? He sell backside to earn him money to buy more Essense of Chicken so that he can last longer then can sell backside longer ar. That's even more enterprise I tell you! Making money to make money for you. That's pure genius!

I think for Ah Kau ar, if you accept him as your candidate lar, will confirm brighten up your entire education system wan! I no bluff you wan! I tell you truth! YOU KNOW TRUTH? Lim bei gong tio, jiu si tio. Lu mien luan ar! Hor! Take him hor! Or I send people chop you i tell you! Your mother later cannot recognise you i tell you!

There, model PQ. Confirm can wan!

Why you looking at me like that? I used that as mine okay! I never copyright that piece already very good liao. I let you take that piece as yours, this proves that I'm even better!

You still give me that look. What???? What??? Not happy ar??

Not happy then don't use la! Simple wat? Kept giving me "that" look. Siao eh you.

People: I where got give you that look?
Me: Who say no! There there! THAT LOOK LA!

People: Don't point finger can? Very rude lei you.
Me: I'm not pointing at you also! I point behind you la. There got ghost cannot ar???

People: Don't bluff can? Enough liao can?? Why keep shouting at me wan??? I where got do wrong?
Me: Enough? If the world got enough I no need stand here talk to you liao ar. Enough of your words liao ar. This one you call shout ar? You got dictionary or not now har?? You wrong somemore deny, somemore dowan say sorry! HAR!

People: Sorry lo! Can or not like that?
Me: Sorry?!?!?! You think you say sorry can liao ar? Har??? Then this world got police what for??? Sorry go ride Lorry lar, sorry!

People: KNNCCB! WHY U SO RUDE WAN?
Me: See! You ownself scold badword somemore say me rude. WALAO!

People: I say cz i'm angry mar!
Me: Angry then can scold badword meh? Who say can? The law say can ar?

People: Aiya aiya you win la you win la!
Me: Of course I win la. Otherwise you win ar? You waste so much of my time you better give it back ar!

People: WALAO! HOW SIA? I LOSE LA OKAY I LOSE LA! I beg you let me go la!
Me: Let you go like that? Never hear people say time is money ar??? Pay me!! NOW!

People: Ho la ho la. I pay you now la. Sorry lo.
Me: Guai Guai~

=.=

One side say, "think out of the box, be creative, be innovative"

Another side say, "Follow everything according to order. Anything that's out of ordinary is not accepted"

DIU

Boy 18 Dead, Econs Proven Hazardous

noreply@blogger.com (ThOmAs) — Thu, 15 May 2008 15:27:00 +0000

I tell you, i tell you, econs. Totally no sense of security even after the test. My writing was as bad as chicken scratch and i've written all i can all the way through and still feel that I left a big chunk out.

This is BAD!

Anyway, look at this.

See that knife there? If you ever see me holding the exact one you better run for your life. Apparently I went to help my mum in her stall just now and I was assigned to chop some carrots. The tip of the knife just touches the tip of my finger. Touches, brushes through a bit, and a slice of my epidermis came off!

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT! A SLICE OF MY EPIDERMIS CAME OFF WITHOUT BLOOD GUSHING OUT.

That's ultimate precision and sharpness I tell you. Gosh, I think my mother's customer will have a "taste" of me tomorrow when they drink the soup. Maybe they'll know how "delicious" I am.

For those of you who want a piece of me, come and get it, at my mother's stall.

Empire Strikes Barack!

noreply@blogger.com (ThOmAs) — Tue, 13 May 2008 03:35:00 +0000

Well I was at Cnet.Com and I just love how Molly Wood presents everything with a tinge of humour. Anyway, what's clogging the tube this time is something so American that any of you anti-Americans out there (yes you, i'm talking about you) should not watch this.

Star Wars Edition of Obamacles.

Gosh, Mrs Clinton is Darth Vader? My Gawd, i'll vote for her anytime if I can! That is if I am eligible.

Shitass

noreply@blogger.com (ThOmAs) — Mon, 12 May 2008 10:35:00 +0000

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Had enough. Enough is enough.

My Favourite Family Routine

noreply@blogger.com (ThOmAs) — Sun, 11 May 2008 08:27:00 +0000

NUFFNANG! IF YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY PREVIOUS POST BY GIVING ME AN ACER LAPPIE,

NVM NVM!

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT OKAY?

JUST GIVE ME A SET OF 7 TICKETS FOR SINGAPORE FLYERS CAN LIAO! GOOD ENOUGH LIAO.

Anyway, you know, it's only me and my mum outside here and it's kinda, ya know, nothing much to do cz almost all the time, she'll be working and working and working just like a workaholic, partly because my expenses is very very large (sorry la, cost of living nowadays jin jia high, 7% GST, shortage of rice, APAMACAM!?!?!?). So, anytime I spend time with me momma is a favourite family routine la, DUHH.

And luckily, today's Mother's Day and she decided to take a day off! Whao!! A workaholic taking a day off. That's a miracle! Cz today she no work hor, yesterday night she can sleep late. SO HOR, after i reach home at around 10 plus hor, then I go kitchen, and OMG, all the ingredients to make cheesecake has already been layed out nicely!

Wuah! I only make cheesecake once in front of her and she one time know how to make liao meh??

Hehe, today is your lucky day viewers of ThomasDiong.BlogSpot.Com for I, Thomas Diong, shall enlighten you on how to make NON-BAKED CHEESECAKE, which means, you can enjoy cheesecake, without the hastle of baking it in an oven! Genius right?

Let's do a bit of tracing back ar. I first wanted to know how to make cheesecake back in 2005 or 2006 i cannot remember but i do not have an oven! And i heard Daryl's momma a real cakelatier (dunno if there's such a word or not).

Daryl is the budak keik sai. Not the left one. Dunno why he keik sai until so happy, kept smiling. The left one is Mr CoalMan, Malaysian Superhero. Camouflage at night lei! That power you tell me which Marvel Comic Superhero got? NON!

Then hor, Daryl so kindly tell me what what what, i forgot the sequence already, and then he said something like this "I forgot how to *tu tu tu tee tee* (forgot what he said, LOL) already. I go back ask my mum okay?"

And on msn, he told me, roughly paraphrased lar, cannot remember exact word "my mother say cannot teach other people. Family secret"

=.=||

Luckily Daryl leaked one of his "family secret" and tell me to add yoghurt. LOL!

Now, WWJD? so, I fired up Firefox and search for the recipe! and bla bla bla. Come back to me and my mum, gosh digress so far.

Anyway, my mum wasn't very good at making cheesecake lar, so me, the expert the pro, became the CHIEF CHEF! MUAHAHAHAHA!

All you need to make 1 cheesecake:
1. Cream Cheese (preferably Philadelphia cream cheese, I don't know why. Don't ask)

2. Cream

3. Fine Sugar (Don't tell me you have no idea what sugar is, okay??)

4. Non-salted Butter

5. Gelatine

6. Digestive Biscuit (Original)

7. Blueberry Filling (if it's blueberry cheesecake that you wanna make)

and last but not least, yoghurt.

So, has already put both the cream cheese and cream together. Now being such a good son, I go help her lar. Can't you see i'm an angel? You see, you need to mash the quite hard cream cheese up nicely or it'll be a mess when you try to beat it up later on.

So I mash it up.

Disgusting, I know. And a bit greasy too. But hey, it's cheese and cream.

While I was mashing it up, my mum was making the base of the cheesecake by crushing Digestive biscuit. Note, you need to crush them nicely, into like powdery form, and the amount of digestive biscuit you need depends on how thick you want the base to be.

So after my mum crushed the amount she thinks she need, she scooped in a

WHOOPING 3/4 OF BUTTER!

Dunno to say she's greedy or generous, but that's a lot of butter!!! I jumped across, *just imagine the scene in the Matrix) and say "No" in slowmo.

Too late, the butter is in the biscuit. And she claims quote unquote "I'm very good at agak-agak one"

So, the base is gonna be a little greasy. =.=" I know it looks disgusting, but hey, have you seen people making pau? Okay, I won't digress.

So, after my mum finish "playing" with her digestive biscuit, now it's time to lay it down as the base of the cheesecake.

My mum make the base of the springform pan, and i make the base of the (claimed by my mum) "the tiramisu casing" in which she can bring it to work.

The springform pan.

And the "tiramisu casing"

Now that the base is ready, it's time for the fun part. Muahaha. Last time when i was back in my hometown, making cheesecake means doing everything except for crushing the digestive biscuit myself. Now that i'm with my mum, everything she do, I just watch and direct her how to do. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ready, set, and GO!

Start liao, start liao, what you waiting?

If you're wanting to make 1 cheesecake, you need just 1 philadelphia cream cheese, 1 of those baby small cream, 2 spoonful of sugar (those metal spoon, not those soup one ar!!!) 1 yoghurt and 25 grams of gelatine.

But me and my momma take things to the extreme. We sekaligus do 2! MUAHAHA

Okay, after my momma "screw" the cream and the cheese for some time, it's time to add in sugar. We add in 5 spoons cz my mother wants the cake to be sweeter. ZZZ.

Then my mum continued to "screw" the mixture.

To the mixture, add blueberry yoghurt (if you want it to taste like blueberry)

and screw it again. ~~Stop and record the observations.~~

My mother "screwing" the mixture furiously. Huhu.

Now the hardest part has dawn on us. We have to addd gelatine into the solution mixture. OH NO! HOW DO WE DO IT? Thank gawd my mum is a genius and she has a pot of extremely hot water ready to dissolve the gelatine before adding into it.

Add sufficient hot water ar! Don't say i didn't tell you ar! Add liao hor, stir until all the gelatine dissolve hor, then quickly add into the mixture, then quickly "screw" it! Don't wait liao! the gelatine will harden quite quickly one. "screw screw screw!"

After that, your journey has abruptly come to an end.

Now it's just pouring of those mixture into the springform pan and the "tiramisu casing".

-
-
-

I tell you, it feels so so good to make cheesecake with my momma man. Everything she do, even pouring of those things onto springform pan and "tiramisu casing" also she do. HUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUA! The pro me.

And so, after leaving those things in the fridge for one night,

Smear blueberry filling all over it and tadaaaaa! You have a non-baked blueberry cheesecake. And erm, the picture you can't see very clearly cz ya know, camouflaged, just like the Mr CoalMan.

And today,

Mother's should be banned from working on Mother's Day man. Seriously, how many times can I do this a year? Jee~ I think i'm deprived.

P.S: No picture of my mum! Why? I don't want my mother to be kidnapped. HUAHUAHUA.

Happy Mother's Day

Singapore Superhero, Revealed!

noreply@blogger.com (ThOmAs) — Fri, 09 May 2008 09:43:00 +0000

Notice: An attempt to grab the Acer Laptop that Nuffnang is offering in accordance to Singapore Movie Fiesta. Tee hee!

Disclaimer: THESE STORIES ARE ENTIRELY UNTRUE AND STUPID ENOUGH TO FOOL A FOOL. So, take it with a pinch of salt la hor.

You've seen Batman and Robin, Superman, The Incredibles and heck, even Mr-Friendly-Neighbourhood, Mr Spidey. All of them looks about the same right? Found any similarities? Huahuahua, they all wear tights! All tights. I wonder how their weapon of mass destruction a.k.a dragon a.k.a their eel a.k.a light sabre a.k.a penis can take it lar! Maybe they're sufferin' from erectile disfunction. Huhu.

Anyway, Nuffnang's up there to give Acer Laptop for the best Singapore Superhero blog post. So, here I am, crapping my way. Nuffnang, pick me pick me!

Well, the big case of Mas Selamat's escape has scored big news in Singapore and across the border.

Picture obtained from TalkingCock.com and apparently this picture was created by Sonny Liew, Singapore Cartoonist.

Sudden automation of ERP Gantry forces many lorries to stop in the middle of the road to input their Cashcard and the detour of many motorcyclist.

Children became 5 seconds Superman and later on injured/died after their mini-bus does Singapore Drift.

If that's not serious enough, what about this! Mr Sing, a.k.a Mr Gundam-only go around sueing people for downloading anime that he doesn't own!

THIS IS SERIOUS PROBLEM! NO SUPERHERO CANNOT SURVIVE!

Therefore, a secret superhero was born.

*********************************************************

In the land of somewhere far far away, in a not-so-secret lair, Whitley Detention Centre, was Kau Bei. He's a janitor there, cleaning up mess left behind by detainees in executive size toilet cubicles with windows large enough for a fat ass to climb over.

ONE DAY, a leakage of the sewer happened and a pile mutated shit leaked onto one of the lunch. Kau Bei didn't know what it was. Thinking that it was Peanut Butter, he packed it up for next day's breakfast.

Next day : *Yum YUm Yum*

Because he was poor and haven never eaten peanut butter before, he ate em all up. Went to work like normal, do everything normally, until suddenly!

****ALARM SOUNDING***

1st Officer: MASS SELAMAT CHAO LIAO LA! ALAMAK! HOW HOW????
2nd Officer: Relax la. His leg one side tempang wan, cannot run wan lar. Let's take a cup of coffee before we go catch him.

Kau Bei: Mas Selamat shit so little. I don't have to clean so much. He escape, what if they catch another person to replace his place, and that guy shit a lot???? CANNOT CANNOT! I MUST CATCH MAS SELAMAT!

Kau Bei got heated up and ran to the toilet where Mas Selamat escaped. *groan* His breakfast starts to react. Kau Bei couldn't walk anymore. He feels as if he's gonna drop dead. He vomited into the toilet bowl and flushed it. WRONG MOVE!

Kau Bei woke up in SembCorp. Apparently someone saw him floating in shits and saved him. Why is he there, he wondered.

He opened his eyes and he sees this everywhere.

He was devastated. More shits to clean soon. He still wonders why is he there.

He went back home straight after that devastating event. Having his bladder filled, he went to the washroom and answered a call of nature. Then he pressed the flush button. WRONG MOVE!

He reappeared at SembCorp. Now his frustration is building and Kau Bei became angry. Soon after that, he realise that he has turned into a walking shit! MORE frustrated than ever, he "keik" his energy, and thought of what happened in between his house's toilet and SembCorp with this face.

Puff, he appeared in his house toilet. He soon realise he is no longer the Kau Bei he is previously. He has inherited magical power from the shit he ate.

Superhero Name: Kau Bu
Means of Transforming: Anger
Identified Super Power: Teleporting from one toilet to another.
How Does He Look Like?:-

Something like this, but instead of red, he's brown, shit colour, except, his colour is different depending on what he eats.

Now that he can teleport, he thinks he's a big shot and he fired his boss. And he teleports from one toilet to another, trying to find Mas Selamat, as he loves Spiderman. "With great power, comes great responsibility".

One time, he teleported into a nearby toilet where he heard a screeching sound of burning tyres. Rushing out, he saw a kid being flung out of a minibus. His reflects took a better side of him, and before he realise it, he's already a human cushion.

The kid landed in a supposed pile of shit and was saved from being smash hard onto the hard concrete!! Thanks to KAU BU!

Another Identified Super Power: Turn himself into any shape by shaping his shit self.

Now that he's bored of teleporting, he turn himself into Kau Bei and hop onto his motorbike and drive along the expressway, enjoying the breeze.

BRAKE

Kau Bei + crowd + crowd: ALAMAK! NEW ERP GANTRY SIA! I NO BRING CASHCARD/CASHCARD EXPIRED HOW?????? IN HURRY LAR!!!!!

Kau Bei got angry.

Kau Bei transformed into Kau Bu!!!!

He give himself another constipating look and soon after that, he's shooting rock solid constipated shit at the ERP gantry and it destroys it within seconds.

EVERYONE: *Cheers CHeers*

With a sense of achievement, Kau Bu teleported himself to the toilet in Esplanade and stands on top of the Durian. Wind blowing over him, he watch over Singapore as he thinks "With great power comes great responsibility". I must catch Mas Selamat.

WILL HE SUCCEED?

Nobody knows. Nobody.

P.S: I don't think i'm eligible for this. LOL!

Further ~~Critical~~ Update:

HIS FATHER is a GENIUS!

The Return of the Sleeping God, and His Disciple

noreply@blogger.com (ThOmAs) — Tue, 06 May 2008 08:15:00 +0000

Remember the God of Sleep who can sleep anywhere, anytime and anyhow? Well, he's back again to release people off their insomniac conditions.

Up till now, I still don't know who he is. It's very frustrating when you don't know how a God look like you know? Especially the God of Sleep. Anyway, he's back with his 2 disciples.

I have no idea who they are, and what they're doing. I seriously don't.

And when your boliaoness goes to peak and further, you can't escape from doing something even more bo liao.