Thoughts Quotes | Famous people quotes

George Eliot quotes-Eternal marriage

2012-02-25T00:02:00.000-08:00

Little children are still the symbol of the eternal marriage between love and duty.
- George Eliot

Philosophical quotes-The road

2012-02-25T00:01:00.000-08:00

The road was new to me, as roads always are going back.
- Sarah Orne Jewett, The Country Road of Pointed Firs, 1896

Hilarious quotes-Glue

2012-02-24T00:01:00.001-08:00

"How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?"
- Rita Rudner

Positive quotes-Hip pocket

2012-02-24T00:01:00.000-08:00

She gave me a smile I could feel in my hip pocket.
- Raymond Chandler

Sarcastic quotes-Go Big

2012-02-24T00:00:00.000-08:00

President Obama urged men to "go big" for Valentine's Day. In fact, Obama bought Michelle the nicest bracelet China's money can buy.
- Jimmy Fallon

Sarcastic quotes-Lousy two percent

2012-02-23T00:01:00.001-08:00

Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It`s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then - we elected them.
- Lily Tomlin

Famous people quotes-Wear a smile

2012-02-23T00:01:00.000-08:00

Wear a smile and have friends; wear a scowl and have wrinkles.
- George Eliot

Marriage quotes-Many times

2012-02-22T00:01:00.001-08:00

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, and always with the same person.
- Mignon McLaughlin

Sexual quotes-Same sounds

2012-02-22T00:01:00.000-08:00

Isn't it interesting how the sounds are the same for an awful nightmare and great sex?
- From the television show The Golden Girls

Political quotes-Chinese vice president

2012-02-22T00:00:00.000-08:00

The Chinese vice president visited President Obama at the White House yesterday. That shows how different China is from us. In China, the vice president is actually important.
- Jay Leno

Thought for the day-Confuses

2012-02-21T00:01:00.001-08:00

A smile confuses an approaching frown.

Famous people quotes-Somebody

2012-02-21T00:01:00.000-08:00

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
- Lily Tomlin

Sarcastic quotes-Domestic violence

2012-02-21T00:00:00.000-08:00

The son of Hugh Hefner has been arrested on a charge of domestic violence. When he heard this, Hugh Hefner said, "Son, there's a right way and a wrong way to disrespect women."
- Conan O'Brien

Sexual quotes-Paying

2012-02-20T00:01:00.001-08:00

When a guy goes to a hooker, he's not paying her for sex, he's paying her to leave.

Friendship quotes-Before

2012-02-20T00:01:00.000-08:00

The best time to make friends is before you need them.
- Ether Barrymore

Thoughts-Choosing a successor

2012-02-19T00:01:00.000-08:00

An emperor in the Far East was growing old and knew it was time to choose his successor. Instead of choosing one of his assistants or his children, he decided something different. He called young people in the kingdom together one day. He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next emperor. I have decided to choose one of you."

The kids were shocked! But the emperor continued. "I am going to give each one of you a seed today. One very special seed. I want you to plant the seed, water it and come back here after one year from today with what you have grown from this one seed. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next emperor!"

One boy named Ling was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly told his mother the story. She helped him get a pot and planting soil, and he planted the seed and watered it carefully. Every day he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other youths began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow.

Ling kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. 3 weeks, 4 weeks, 5 weeks went by. Still nothing. By now, others were talking about their plants but Ling didn't have a plant, and he felt like a failure. Six months went by, still nothing in Ling's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed.

Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Ling didn't say anything to his friends, however. He just kept waiting for his seed to grow.

A year finally went by and all the youths of the kingdom brought their plants to the emperor for inspection. Ling told his mother that he wasn't going to take an empty pot. But honest about what happened, Ling felt sick to his stomach, but he knew his mother was right.

He took his empty pot to the palace. When Ling arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other youths. They were beautiful in all shapes and sizes. Ling put his empty pot on the floor and many of the other kinds laughed at him. A few felt sorry for him and just said, "Hey nice try."

When the emperor arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted the young people. Ling just tried to hide in the back. "What great plants, trees and flowers you have grown," said the emperor. "Today, one of you will be appointed the next emperor!" All of a sudden, the emperor spotted Ling at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered his guards to bring him to the front. Ling was terrified. "The emperor knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me killed!"

When Ling got to the front, the Emperor asked his name. "My name is Ling," he replied. All the kids were laughing and making fun of him. The emperor asked everyone to quiet down. He looked at Ling, and then announced to the crowd, "Behold your new emperor! His name is Ling!" Ling couldn't believe it. Ling couldn't even grow his seed. How could he be the new emperor?

Then the emperor said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone here a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds, which would not grow. All of you, except Ling, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Ling was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new emperor!"

Philosophical quotes-Noise

2012-02-18T00:01:00.001-08:00

A thing, until it is everything, is noise, and once it is everything it is silence. - Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

Good quotes-Expression

2012-02-18T00:01:00.000-08:00

Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.
- Janet Lane

Humor quotes-Twin

2012-02-18T00:00:00.000-08:00

"The Washington Post says that President Obama as not a people person, and is a neurotic loner without any friends. It's like I have a twin."
-David Letterman

Humor quotes-Hate to shop

2012-02-17T00:02:00.000-08:00

"Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door."
- Rita Rudner

Sarcastic quotes-Brain tumor

2012-02-17T00:01:00.000-08:00

“Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?”
- Heathers

Political quotes-Restoring economic security

2012-02-17T00:00:00.000-08:00

Obama focused on four areas he believes are the keys to restoring economic security. Energy, manufacturing, education, and TV shows about cupcakes, which we love.
- Jimmy Kimmel

Famous people quotes- Remedies

2012-02-16T00:01:00.001-08:00

Nearly all men die of their remedies, and not of their illnesses.
- Jean Baptiste Molière, Le Malade Imaginaire

Sexual quotes-Virginity of the soul

2012-02-16T00:01:00.000-08:00

The tragedy of sexual intercourse is the perpetual virginity of the soul.
- William B. Yeats

Sarcastic quotes-Powerful laser

2012-02-16T00:00:00.000-08:00

Scientist in England are building a laser they say is powerful enough to tear apart the fabric of space. Ah! It's nice to know they are working for the betterment of mankind. The scientists may also want to cut down on their consumption of Red Bull.