Thoughts = Buah Fikiran = Heart

I've moved!

2012-01-12T00:23:00.001+08:00

Dear followers(syok sendiri boleh?),

I've moved, pindah rumah, dah ade partner- die kat UK lagi tu. Tapi bukan pindah rumah, I pindah blog. Too many blogs is just too dull and Gets me confused when I decide to type in an entree. Plus I've promised myself to stop being resntful instead, be a bit more inspirational for myself and the whole human society- bajet gempak sangat, human society doesn't even know your existence tau x?

Sod ear here's the link: Belog saya bersama Coffee disini..!!

Zeitgeist 2011: Year In Review

2012-01-04T16:53:00.002+08:00

Awesome and Inspiring and most importantly a great reminder for our new year. :)

Someone said we must always move foward, never look back.

They're wrong

Looking at rear view reminds us of our mistakes and others, so we dont repeat and to regret what we must.

lost and loosing

2012-01-02T00:09:00.001+08:00

threw the bag aside, undress and head for the shower.

Every cold drop of water that touch my skin seem so kind, caressing me with their sliding motion on my skin. My eyes grew bigger, staring into these magnificent aqua beings. I stare into and pass them, clean, pure and simple.

I looked down to my feet, I move them, feeling the thin film of water patch surrounding me,lined up in spirals and freestyling when they must waiting their turn to go down the drain. Looked to my hands that pruned for playing with these beings far too long. But i didn't seem to care. As if I was watching myself from a third person- watching me, watching my movements and decisions.

I realise, that thing that moved under the water droplets, breathing the air of anxiety. I saw it, and I couldn't find me. I could not except that... THAT is me. I can't even bare the sight of that thing. It sickens me and couldn't care any less whether that thing is alive or a walking doll.

I then realise, that thing is me. But I no longer am me, I am watching Me instead- living my life.

Lost in the middle of nowhere, lost in the sahara desert of past , secret & dark stories, entity and identity that is scattered everywhere sinked and float in the sea of thoughts.

2012

2012-01-01T02:26:00.005+08:00

Bye 2011, hello 2012.
A year closer to death as to compared 2011.
Not trying to be negative, just reminding myself.

I don't usually make a big deal of new years but THIS year its a tad bit different. Since I've gotten my hands dirty into the family biz, I've got a bigger responsibility now, business-wise and life-wise.

Not that I actually take this new year as an actual measurement in my life, it is just i take it as one of the points in my life to start a paradigm shift. in my life. So don't get me wrong,one way, or another.

So my goal for this year??

Better business person.
Be a hairstylist.
Be a li'l more 'lady'-ish

Yupp just 3,but not that easy. Believe me.

It's all my fault...

2011-12-17T17:02:00.000+08:00

Would you be upset if I told you we were dying?
And every cure they gave us was a lie?
Oh! They mean it when they say we're dead and doomed
And every single symptom brings us closer to the tomb
And who will take the credit for our swift impending fall
Because it's not my fault
Would you be impressed if I said that the dead would help us counting
Every single moment that we waste our time?
All the time we're spending vaccinating this disease
I just get dizzy when I think of all the ways we try to hide our maladies
WE wine, we dine, and everything is fine
Because it's not my fault
Not you're upset because you finally got the notion
That everything you had is spinning down the drain
Oh! Do you mean it when you beg and pray and plead?
Your "Giveittomegiveittomegiveittomegiveittome all those things we need"
And what, pray tell, will you whimper when your number will be called
You'll say "It's not my fault"
Go! Now! The others they'll await you
And every single one among the lot of you will have your turn
Ai Ai Ai Oh Oh OH
Like moths that fly into the flame it always ends up so
You scream: "Not me! Take anybody else!
Because it's not my fault!"
I had a dream last night where everyone was trying
Subconsciously I knew it was a lie
ANd when I woke I knew it was time to pray
To make amends before the end, before my judgment day
I looked around, I stood alone, I knew what I had to say
I said "It's all my fault"

Source: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/s/streetlight_manifesto/#share

30

2011-12-16T11:47:00.003+08:00

You can't make ~~ungrateful people~~ everyone happy but at least the important ones are.

Cinta Muka Buku: 26th AJL; Seriously? o.O

2011-12-11T23:38:00.003+08:00

Seriously????

And the candidates areee...

1) Kalau Berpacaran (Ana Raffali, Sohaimi Mior Hassan, Altimet)
2) Karma (Faizal Tahir),
3) Penakut (Yuna),
4) Sedetik Lebih (Jaclyn Victor)
5) Awan Nano (Hafiz)
6) Cinta Muka Buku (Najwa Latif)
7) Wanita Seluruh Dunia (Projek Pistol)
8) Beribu Sesalan (Tiga Suara)
9) Kekanda Adinda (Atilia & Monoloque)
10) Sungai Lui (Aizat)
11) Kisah Hati (Alyah)
12) Gadis Semasa (Yuna)

:(

Are you serious? Cinta Muka Buku? I've listened to it 3 times, did not study her background, only judged her music- It's 'Music Awards' your not suppose to judge anything else BUT the song itself.

Nothing special, No uniqueness, just a catchy rhythm like any song you'd give to pre-school-ers on memorizing their alphabets. Don't get me wrong, her song does has the 'stuck in myhead' and I wanna sing-along effect and 'listen-able', HOWEVER to get nominated, to the FINALS? that's over crediting the song.

Like nominating Rebecca Black's-Friday on the American Music Awards- no offends intended Becca.

What is happening to Malaysian arts/creative industry?? We are recognizing people all for the wrong reason. We're no recognizing quality anymore. We're blinded by personal and 'moral agenda'(or what we feel is morally correct).

If you guys really thought you ought to recognize new talents, you guys can nominate her, but in some junior music awards perhaps?? That way you get to appreciate them and not depreciate quality music.

But if you guys were just aiming for the people's favourite- you're spot on! headshot to the 'QUALITY OF MALAYSIAN MUSIC INDUSTRY'.

It sickens me how real talents of Malaysian are recognized overseas and pushed aside locally just because majority of viewers are under-exposed of the creative industry. If the 'GREAT judges' for Malaysian Music fail to recognize talent and quality, perhaps Malaysian will always be underexposed and underdogs within the industry internationally.

Malaysians have to stop taking real talents for granted just because those without talents have more 'admirers' and 'favourites', Or these real talents will just end up wasted, and they give up and We'll forever be the underdogs, the frog under the coconut shell.

Most disappointing case: Yasmin Ahmad was never appreciated locally.
2nd Most Disappointing case: Mawi. :O

Blinded with immaturity ,pure entertainment, partial extreme-traditionalist. (you know, those who claim to be traditional but only on certain people and cases~i-hate-you) .

Sad really.

ps: SERIOUSLY..???!

invitation for hate

2011-12-03T12:26:00.000+08:00

doesn't it just hurt when people choose to judge you rather than 'knowing' you

only His Jurisdiction is without exception

my heart just tweaked a bit

2011-11-27T12:01:00.007+08:00

resource: Post secret~ ILLUSTRATION ONLY

the reason i post this picture is because

i couldn't imagine to be reminded of by the fact that you have lost someone so important in your life.

Ayah, please don't go so early... I Need you...

Ouchhh... :'(

We greet, we part ; Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

2011-11-22T01:53:00.000+08:00

My dear

good nite
bye bye
take care
Its always when we had to tell ourselves not to cry

Morning
How are you?
Dear!
Those are when we just had to smile

Then there's
As Salam
Assalamualaikum
Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh
Reminding us that whether its for the tears or the smile, it's always for Allah s.w.t.

:o)

29

2011-11-12T16:22:00.000+08:00

the girl:

reads the boy love confession letter

then looks back to the boy.

:O "What are you holding?"

the boy:

*holding the proposal ring, looking at her*

"Oh may god its a ring!"

"Where did it come from?"

Took the 'written scene' from Anjaana Anjaani; Bollywood movie- or at least the little pieces i could remember .

28

2011-11-09T09:52:00.000+08:00

jangan terlalu extremist wahai saudara/ saudari,

lagi lantang suaranya,

lagi berat tanggungjawabnya.

lagi kuat tentangannya dan dengan itu perlulah dibekalkan dengan ilmu agama yang secukupnya .

Rasulullah s.a.w. berdakwah mengikut 2 fasa- tersembunyi(kecil2an) dan kemudian secara terbuka.

Sudah bersediakah anda?

adakah anda menyebarkan Islam, atau hanya memalukan dan memburukkan lagi keadaan?

things I can't understand

2011-11-09T09:39:00.000+08:00

putting up WEIRD FOREIGN NAMES on facebook; whats wrong with ur real one?
women being EMOTIONAL
man being EGO; even when they do realise they should've back down
worshiping SATAN; SERIOUSLY?
killing oneself
hurting oneself
BLINDED by LOVE
RACISM
NUDIST
SELFISH
SELF ABSORBED
IGNORANT
the WORLD ROTATES AROUND ME attitude
DRAMA-big ones
being GIDDY
the love for SPICY foood
the big deal about SEAFOOD

Pengajaran dan Pembelajaran Sains dan Matematik Dalam Bahasa Inggeris (PPSMI)- Don't Drop It!!

2011-11-06T16:32:00.000+08:00

As salam,

Dear Government of Malaysia,

ARE YOU SERIOUS?
You you finally have a good thing going on in the system and you decide not to go on just because some part of the people in Malaysia are unable to see the benefits of the change??

Then there is PAS, I'm disappointed, as political group, you should desire what is better for the people instead of just hating on the system just to take the advantage of winning the people's heart because a lot of people are against it, and thus using the issue against the government.

*sigh*

Politics are no more like the past where people join to stand for the rights of its country and for a better future of its people. Now its all about the tender, cash & money- which is received through the manipulation of the people.

People argue how this PPSMI system is making life hard for Malaysian and how ineffective it is. The system was only launched in 2003- meaning 8 years. Should be enough time to show its results doesn't it? Also should be enough time for this grumbling people prove what is actually wrong with it. Also if the government were really serious, please tell me who the hell is in charge for it, like the project manager, who is the project manager??? Why am I asking this? Because in everything we do there must be, as my secondary History teacher says 3S- Sebelum, Semasa & Selepas.

So we got the sebelum which means before; before doing something it must planned well, thought out, pros & cons prediction and certain amount of expectation.

Then it is quite safe to say we have already jumped and approaching the Selepas phase which mean the after phase, where results and feed backs are re-analyse and decisions are made whether it is a yes or no. Well for PAS its a no cause they say it is not improving the children to improve their ability to speak the language(I'll debate on this later)

Here ask where the hell is the SEMASA which means during/current which in this case defined as the on-going analysis during the PPSMI program is progressing. Where is it? Where is the analysis that tells error of PPSMI, that reports on what is really wrong with the program, what are the amendments can be done. There isn't any are there, nothing was done during the PPSMI is executed to measure its ability as an effective or a defective educational system. This also means there is no way to say that by fact the usage of English is the main problem with this system.

Now, is it really for a fact the usage of English instead of Bahasa is the main issue and that it is causing more harm than benefit for the whole education system, even in the long run? Short run, yes its hard and confusing especially if one does not put an effort in studying the subjects. But do you realize that most if not all the resources and references are available in English on handful are in Bahasa Malaysia- how long are we going to rely on translator- until we realize that the translator had actually cheated us?

The real problem is, we Malaysian, especially Malays we are so used to memorizing rather than understanding and exploring a subject, academics are no longer regarded as a learning process but merely a memorizing process which is then measured by a superficial thing called test & examination. Instead of measuring whether a student understand the subject it becomes a measurement of whether the student have memorized the textbook or not- we have no quality in academics.

Is the problem due to the fact that mathematics and science subjects are taught on English or is it because we refuse to sacrifice our laziness to learn the subject. People are arguing on the numbers on the student's papers but who are arguing the quality of these students' education?

I despise for a fact when people say learning English kills/ disrespects the fact that Bahasa Malaysia is our lingua franca- the you are presenting it its as if taking up Geography subject disrespects History subject . Also,whether the government are trying to improve English education among students or not, they are already failing the Bahasa Malaysia papers as we speak. It is just another knowledge not a bleach!

my little thoughts:

Dear PAS,
Yes PPSMI has not really proven itself in helping the students in their lingual ability, Yet learning Science & Mathematics in Bahasa Malaysia ALSO didn't help to improve the students ability to speak Bahasa Malaysia back then did it?. However learning Science & Mathematics has however greatly helped students who are continuing their higher studies in their process of making references and easier understanding of the subjects as it has been familiarized back during secondary school thus lessen the pressure faced during university-which by the way is much much more stressful and critical and COSTLY.

Dear Government,
I know it is hard and stressful when making such a big decision, here is a thought- shouldn't this English education start at their kindergartens first, so that they are familiar with the language and has greater ability of a more complex usage of the language- like relating it to the subjects of science & mathematics. If it is a habit, it is no longer a burden.

Sometimes like children, even adults need to be shown, educated, trained and perhaps forced to do what is best for them. So please do what is BEST FOR MALAYSIA, stop us from being lazy-yes including me.

I hope PPSMI continues, gimme the referendum I wanna sign it NOW. If Dr. M is crazy why is he the one making sense??

27

2011-11-05T01:30:00.000+08:00

I'm not perfect

I'm trying

Its really hard

I'm confused

I'm crying

INSIDE

...

Allah forgive my ignorance.

26

2011-11-05T01:27:00.000+08:00

I NEED TO BE CRAZY AGAIN

o.O

PPpleaseee

:'(

Naluri Hair Studio charity event.

2011-11-04T15:56:00.000+08:00

Charity event that will be held by my salon. hope you guys give the support!

http://www.facebook.com/nalurihs

he s

new chapter: when it hit me

2011-11-02T09:48:00.000+08:00

As salam,

Realize how i never greeted you readers with the salam, Oh how many deeds have been wasted. Today started out unsignificantly indifferent than any other days, the day went by as usual. Sin keeps accumulating and the portal to hell keeps widening to greet me- just like any other day.

Then Sunday night came, Skyped with a lovely man, yes my sweetheart. :)

We chat and discussed few crappy things and mostly self-improvements things. He told me, his mum told him; if we(him & i) are serious, we should start being mature, grow up and be better muslims. I was pretty strucked by it. Scared mostly i guess. I am the girl who kinda like havin/takin a li'l bit of this then a li'l bit of that. then from time to time, do bits and bits of experiments, bend the rules a li'l now and then.

i was really in conflict.'i couldn't do it' i said to myself, I mean I am not like that, I even kinda promised myself I kinda wannabe the liberal type-of person. But then i saw this:

Selangkah anak perempuan keluar dari rumah tanpa menutup aurat, maka selangkah juga ayahnya itu hampir ke neraka.

Selangkah seorang isteri keluar rumah tanpa menutup aurat, maka selangkah juga suaminya itu hampir ke neraka.

AND

this;

Then I thought to myself, If these people can, why can't I? There must be a reason why Allah tells us to do these certain things doesn't He. Few seconds later, it slowly came to me- the why and the what. Then only i realise, there is no use in asking if your heart is not open to listen and open to accept the truth of how you have been wrong all this while, it takes up ego to accept the truth, to save yourself.

and at that point, i realise, I HAVE to change for the good of life on earth and hereafter. Life here on earth (or Mars-in future) is nothing but a passing phase for the life at the hereafter.

sweetheart, lets be good muslims- we really s**k at it now, i KNOW. so let's do better. :)

Change of Plans

2011-10-30T00:39:00.000+08:00

I used to be so sure of my future. But things has changed. a lot. new decisions has to be made.

So now, QUESTION, what occupation suits me best?? I'm torn apart on the options:

food & beverages industry
management
hairstyling
aart industry
creative writing

I'm really confused on my path now. I hope things get done fast though. Too many things in my head >,<

Chino & Nacho: El poeta

2011-10-28T08:34:00.000+08:00

LOVELY SPANISH SONG!!

I was born to love you
I'd give you whatever you want
My heart, my whole life
You just ask and I'll please you

I want to remind you
That I'm yours whenever you want me
That I love you in my own way
I hope one day you'll be my wife
My wife

And so, together we'll be able
To live happily, one day
The reason of this subtle song
Is a poem that I wanted to write to you

For you I've become a poet
I'm writing down rhymes in my old notebook
I'm looking at the sky waiting for a falling star
To make a wish
And to bring you up here

For you I've become a poet
I've already wrote down a thousand
Of full, complete pages
I'm writing them down whenever I see you
And that makes me happy
So, so, so happy
Happy, happy, happy

Having you makes me happy
And I can see myself by your side until death

25

2011-10-22T11:46:00.000+08:00

hey good lookin,

before i start reeling you in for adultery,

how bout we get married-NOW,

so that we'll be

saved from the fires of hell and yet rewarded with the placing of paradise at the hereafter-ya know if things work out great: me obedient wife, you a great guiding husband??

If only marriages were this easy... :D

If only the world is not so friggin tempting... :O
If only people truly appreciate other people.. :(

Busy days

2011-10-19T11:09:00.000+08:00

Life have been so damn busy for me, not that it packed with things much, but more on the fact that my presence is needed almost all the time. Alone time that i have are mostly sleep times- which leads to lack of sleep :(

Anyway other people might be having and facing bigger issues, my problem might be just a flick of dust compared to the massive amount of problems and conflicts of others. Thank you Allah for testing this peasant of yours only to what she can cope with.

Updates on relationships:
The past came to see me. and suddenly, its sunshine and beautiful night skies again for me.

The past, came to see me how i was doing. we communicated and found our chemistry. And things started to move on its own since then. He'll be in UK for 2 years though, will i be able to cope? I'm quite sure I will and I can. :)
I wish things would've worked a bit more faster. But, Allah knows best kan?

People always say, you'll never truly appreciate things or people until they are gone.

I've lost him once before, I hope I won't ever again, it is just too painful to go through it again. I'm quite sure he's serious too- met his mum. Through the meeting, I've learned a lot-

about marriage, religion, life after death, love ,understanding, patience and family.

with that, I include this 2 songs for my person in UK. :)

24 ; Lily Allen- Who'd have known

2011-10-19T03:50:00.000+08:00

It's 5 o clock in the morning,
Conversation got boring,
You said you're going to bed soon,
So I snuck off to your bedroom,
And I thought i'd just wait there,
Untill I heard you come up the stairs,
And I pretended I was sleeping,
And I was hoping you would creep in with me.

Put your arm around my shoulder,
It was as if the room got colder,
And we moved closer in together,
And started talking about the weather,
You said tomorow would be fun,
And we could watch A Place In The Sun,
I didn't know where this was going,
When you kissed me.

Are you mine? Are you mine?
Cos I stay here all the time,
Watching telly, Drinking wine,
Who'd of known, Who'd of known,
When you flash up on my phone,
I no longer feel alone,
No longer feel alone.

I haven't left you for days now,
And I'm becoming amazed how,
Your quite affectionate in public,
In fact your friend said it made her feel sick,
And even though it's moving forward,
There's just the right amount of awkward,
And today you accidentally,
Called me baby.

Are you mine? Are you mine?
Cos I stay here all the time,
Watching telly, Drinking wine,
Who'd of known, Who'd of known,
When you flash up on my phone,
I no longer feel alone.

Let's just stay, Let's just stay,
I wanna lie in bed all day,
We'll be laughing all the way,
You told your friends,
They all know,
That we exsist but we're taking it slow,
Lets just see how we go,
Now let's see how we go.

Are you mine? Are you mine?
Cos I stay here all the time,
Watching telly, Drinking wine,
Who'd of known, Who'd of known,
When you flash up on my phone,
I no longer feel alone.

Let's just stay, Let's just stay,
I wanna lie in bed all day,
We'll be laughing all the way,
You told your friends,
They all know,
That we exsist but we're taking it slow,
Lets just see how we go,
Now let's see how we go.

23

2011-10-18T08:42:00.000+08:00

Some things are best kept secret

yours, mine

OURS

...

</3

22

2011-10-10T01:03:00.000+08:00