Thoughts From The ShogunSkilling

I Pity the Fool That Painted My Face

2011-11-22T03:59:00.001-08:00

As I get older am forgetting large parts of my life mostly my heavy party days of 14 to 18 I lost a lot of weekends and blogs posts to these blacked out moments. But remember some things like it was yesterday right back to 4 year old like my 4th birthday party I got this sweet Knight Rider push car it was awesome in November 88. To my dislike a friend of mine was playing in it I told him to get out KITT but he wouldn't so what did I do. I pushed him down the stairs of my mum and dad's flat at the time while he was still inside the push car. He tumbled down crashing to the bottom, you can't do that shit as an adult but as a kid I think I maybe didn't get to eat my birthday cake big deal!!! also Kitt survived the crash. Another memory is my friend @weerambo and his big stupid jacket and 80's mullet haircut and that one day playing in the moors his boot stuck into the mud never to be found again why is that a big memory for me I don't know.

Also one time out playing I fell down and cut my ball-bag THAT I REMEMBER VERY WELL...OHHH THE BLOOD. One thing I remember that pissed me off all my life is when at a party at the nursery still at 4 it was a fun day of sorts there was a lady doing face paint. Now wait till you read what this CUNT done and I hope she got 1980's aids the strongest aids ever known because of it. I think in 1988 at 4 my favourite TV shows were Knight Rider, The Hulk I liked Thundercats , He-man (side note...one thing about the he-man cartoon looking back it was gay as fuck I loved it as a kid but it was dumb as fuck I mean when Adam the prince turned into He-man he when from this Brock Lesner build guy with blonde hair and then with POWER OF GREYSKULL he turned into the same person apart from at some point during the power of grey skull bit he died his hair ginger and got a spray tan somewhere on the planet Eternia and found a outfit worthy of any gay pride festival and no one knew the different just saying it was stupid) and I also loved the A-TEAM.

SEE WHERE DO YOU GET A SPARY TAN IN ETERNIA

So I asked the lady if she could paint my face like MR T she said yes and painted my face. After this was done in my 4 year old head I had just been transformed from a pasty white kid with a bowl cut to a giant muscle bound black guy with a Mohawk. I running around acting tough fighting with other kids shout I PITY THE FOOL AND I AIN'T GETTIN ON NO PLANE!!!! When I needed to take a piss and then I saw my face in the bathroom mirrior was I MR T the giant muscle bound black man with a Mohawk? NO!!! I WASN'T the fucking bitch painted my face as a CAT!!!!! A FUCKING CAT. What person tells a small kid hes Mr T and the whole time hes a cat the other parents must they thought I have mental problems running around thinking am a black guy when am just a big FAGGOTING CAT. Anyway rant over

FUCK YOU FACE PAINTING BITCH
THE SHOGUN

Kids Dance Shows

2011-11-13T06:06:00.001-08:00

Being a dad of two daughters and I love my daughters but it's the law or something to attend anything they do like parents night, kids birthday parties and worst of all FUCKING DANCE SHOWS ...I am a asshole this is true and I do enjoy watching my kids who are 8 and 5 do there dance 5/6 routines there in my problem is watching the other 23 routines there not in with everyone else's fuckin kids I don't care about like I said am an asshole. I don't like dance I don't like to dance because I can't I hate plays and also musicals WHY???? you ask....BECAUSE I HAVE HAIR ON MY FUCKING BALLS, I LIKE FIGHT SPORTS, SHOOTING PEOPLE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD ON XBOX AND WATCHING ANIMAL AND SLAP FIGHTS ON UTUBE that's why the other stuff is boring as fuck too me plus I think I have some mild A.D.D. I mean dancing to me like in a night club is like some primal shit before sex you are grinding and stuff I mean really the result you want is your dick sliding in and out of something whether it be a wet VAG or a shit filled dirt box whatever your into People I think that's what dancing is for right? some animals do dances hoping to mate afterwards. So watching kids do J-LO and BRITTANY dance routines CREEPS me out a little.

But fuck it I just keep my mouth shut and do what am told by the girlfriend and go. This was my third dance show this year you think these things would last an hour but NO!!!! try 3 AND A FUCKING HALF HOURS this was a street dance show so I thought maybe we'll get some cool break dance moves. Now the music at these shows is straight up shit there's no Black Keys or Led Zeppelin just Black eye Peas and LMFAO Shuffling horse shit. My kids were in the first few dances very good fun watching them on stage I wouldn't have the bottle to do that. The next dance the kids of 7 at the most they were wearing masks right out the movie EYES WIDE SHUT....WTF? Next the boys group comes out don't people sent boys to Karate or a Real Sport any more I see why there's not many at the scouts now those dirty scoutmasters...side note I was a scout for a bit and I don't think I got made to blow anyone unless its a memory so painful I don't remember now so am pretty sure in my 26 years I haven't had a finger in my asshole once NOT EVEN MY GIRLFRIEND I don't like that road trip did I say 2 make that 3 shitttttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!. But lets get back on track. Being from Scotland the % of black people isn't has high as other country's and I don't blame them its rains all the time here. So out of the 12 eight year old kids I was so happy there was a black child and if american street, basketball and gangs movies have taught me is that black people can dance, jump high and bust a freestyle rap on cue. Great lets see what this kids got....result nothing he was shit no dance skills at all WHY!! american movies WHY!!! did you lie to me. Turns out this pasty ginger kid was the best he was doing the worm and turn head spin in shit he was awesome I got to say.

The first act was set up like spring summer winter that stuff then a break and just to point out I hate small talk Like OHHH WHAT'S THE WHETHER LIKE and standing with like 200 people from your home town people I don't really know much about or have everything in common with small talk is the only talk that gets you through it I can't stand it. Act 2 I think was another 18 fucking songs from movies and fucking musicals FUCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!! FUCK MY FACE THERE IS NO GOD!!!!! One of my life goals was to get through my life without hearing or seeing anything from the Musical CATS!!!! and you guessed it they done cats. Now I know why some people just flip and start shooting handguns in crowded areas really kids dresses like cats pretending to be cats over a soundtrack of ear H.I.V. Why didn't just not put 10 real cats 5 mice and 3 pitbulls on stage think of the fun that would be I'd pay like £50 for that. So at the end of a long show all the kids came out to in bow to the cheering crowd and this little kid gets so amped up he just vomits all over the stage awesome that was the highlight for me. So just to say there's nothing wrong with dance shows like I said am an asshole and inpatient to that stuff. Surely thats makes me a good dad the fact I sit through something I deeply hate to support my kids let me know @shogunskilling in twitter

CATS IS GAY
THE SHOGUN

The Male Finish

2011-10-25T16:23:00.000-07:00

This blog is about the funny world of a man obsession of shooting loads on things. Sperm is meant to go in the vagina and then some technical stuff happens and babies come out and cry then you spend your life raising the baby till it grows old enough to shoot or take loads itself and the circle of life goes on I think that is what the loin king was trying to say.  But anyway there's some things that am guilty of and some friends are and am going to say every male is unless there weird. I mean man likes to shoot loads in pussies and watch it drip out fire on backs, tits, faces and the ass also weirder ones feet maybe an ear hole the possibilities are endless.

The thing I find funny is whats going through the girls mind with our craziness and I tip my my hat off to you ladies for putting up with our bullshit am sure some of you love a blob of potato juice right in the eyeball and am sure some just put up with it to keep there men happy and use are all angles and are all getting a pass through the golden gates of heaven and a purple heart for taking multiple shots in battle. But I want to know and feel free to write back @shogunskilling on twitter....Whats going through your heads when your just lying there and the man's titty fucking you  your looking up at the madness in his  chimp with rabies face I mean a dick between the tits does nothing for you. From my own account I have been titty fucking my girl she's looking at me am thrusting between her big cans like a madman am not giving a fuck no ones stopping me from shooting this load still thrusting thrusting powerful thrusting........ And AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKING YESSSSSSSSSSSS ALL OVER THE NIPPLES and then a MASSIVE sense of stupidest goes through my head am still sitting on top of her shes got jizz all over her and our like "ehhhhhhhh do you want me to get a towel" and you clean it off and sit weird of a few minutes What is going on in a woman's mind witnessing that .

A story from a friend of mine I though was funny was he was dating this girl and the night of the first time they had sex he undressed her and she had a tramp stamp of a dog on her lower back. He asked whats with the dog and she told the story of how it was her childhood pet it was one of they bloodhound dogs like droopy with the big floppy ears and it died and she loved it so much she tattooed it on her lower back so she would never forgot the love she felt for that faithful animal...end of the story HE FUCKED HER DOGGY STYLE AND FINISHED ALL OVER THE TAT OF THE DROOPY DOG SHE LOVED SO MUCH...why I don't know but I would have done it to because thats what guys do and its a funny story to tell your friends. Its like porn videos and porn sites you switch it on to find a hot chick with glasses on and right away you know the endding to the porn flick the guys going to NUT ALL OVER THE LENSES OF TRENDY OFFICE SPECKS so she can't see through them again WHY? I don't know but I would do that aswell it must be a primal thing of marking of territory of something a don't know its a mystery. I mean your girl over 10 plus years you have lovely children with her and you tell her all your feeling and secrets BUT still in the heat of the moment you just want to grab that throat cum up her nose on her eyeballs so she can't open her eyelids and then get a towel for her and sit weird after climax because of your freaky manliness you can't help...So I salute the woman of the world you put up with so much

I would like to thank     http://www.skanktees.com for letting me guest on his website and buy a Tshirt follow me on twitter @shogunskilling and read more from me at http://derekskilling84.blogspot.com/ and follow @skanktees and join in on some deathsquad famliy chat on twitter also all Bad mutha fuckers on there

ALWAYS SHOOTING SALTY LOADS
SHOGUN SKILLING

Buckfast, Weed and UFC 135

2011-10-01T17:08:00.000-07:00

On the 24th of September a few hours before UFC 135 I was busy fucking about with a garden shed with no money. Normally on fight nights a get a load of buddies round and we get fucked up and watch my number one passion in life for the last four years MMA/UFC. We have had some crazy nights of madness and kept my street awake with all the noise coming for my house. So the fight was Rampage Jackson former champ and veteran of the sport and star of the A-TEAM movie if anyone doesn't know who he is Versus Jon Bones Jones the young 24 year old Phenom that has been destroying everyone in his path. With two black guys and like most black guys from America they can jive talk at the highest of levels so a lot was on this fight and I was amped as fuck to watch it. But at 7.00pm am still fucking about outside I have no money and no time to to sort a good night with friends. So I was just going to watch on my own like a Benny no mates!!!

When my good friend Ryan Hamilton @weerambo on twitter called and was having a night off blowing the back end off crazy hookers he fucks weekly. To buy me drink and A lovely bag of green!!! LETS GET THIS PARTY STARTED!!! Also my girlfriend and two daughters were still up and I don't like getting fucked up in front of my kids so waited till they were in bed. Ryan had brought in a bottle of the finest wine in all of the land BUCKFAST TONIC WINE (GODS WINE) this was the drink of choice for young 14 year old's in central Scotland cause its cheap its 15% and it gets you fuck up. I have drank this since my 14th birthday not so much now but I still like it now and again. It has legendary status in Scotland for the cause of a fuck load of crime and chaos in my home country no shit just google it. I myself have been arrested Twice on this mighty wine that everyone hates the taste of but still drinks it anyway so much so that there's fridges with only buckfast and maybe like 2 cartons of milk in it in the shops here...nicknames are (A BOTTLE OF VIOLENCE, A BOTTLE OF WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT!!!! AND A BOTTLE OF WREAK THE HOOSE JUICE) And its made in England where no one drinks it AND!!! its made by MONKS FUCKING MONKS made it, people have been stabbed to death because for this drink and god's Monks are down in England crushing grapes with there bare feet FUCKED UP HUH? He also at the case of Fosters an Australian beer that no one in Australia drinks cause it tastes like shit!!! But am Scottish and would drink anything if its cheap and gets you fucked up.

As the night when on we watched Louis Ck stand up show and laughed our asses off and blasted some top tunes from Oasis , the Black Keys and the drunker we got the more old skool hip hop we were singing songs from the late Nate Dogg in our best black guy soul voices and for white Scottish lads we done a good job. Ryan starts blazing the pipe up right in my living room and the kids are sleeping upstairs am like FUCK THE MISSUS WILL KILL ME YOU CUNT!!! GIVE ME SOME and got high as giraffe pussy to the point where we decided who can do the best hand stand

who has the best handstand Ryan above or me below right

Once the ufc came on it was a good event fights with Nate Diaz showed his best boxing and submissions skills to date against Takanori Gomi and UFC Hall of Famer Matt Hughes vs Josh Koscheck the fight lasted one round by I was so high I thought the fight when 10 rounds and it only goes to 3 round, Koscheck knocked the legend Matt Hughes out and a good chance will be his final fight. The main event Jon Jones vs Rampage...Jones showed why hes the big talking point in mma at the moment with a great showing of skill making Rampage look like he didn't have a chance evading his big punches and landing tons of kicks and elbows one which cut him open and submitted Jackson via choke in the 4th round and after all the jive talking a great show of respect and a kind of passing of the torch moment for the fans.

With fight finished and a good night of stand up comedy, good tunes, getting fucked up and watching the ancient art of face punching it was time for bed, And its good to have buddies when you have no cash to and not at a drink in weeks to bring you weed wine and beer. It wasn't the craziest night but it was a fun night and ufc 136 is soon so.....

Buckle Up Bitches
The Shogun

Floyd Mayweather VS Vitor Ortiz..My Breakdown

2011-09-18T18:16:00.000-07:00

Am a MMA Guy a fanatic if you will as for boxing well I still like it but its lost it's edge and I hope it come's back But after Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao retire I think the sports as good as dead well high profile dream fights will be, But I hope not!!!! I grew up a Mike Tyson fan and at one time was a fanatic about boxing too, watching the old glory days of the 70's when everyone fought everyone over a 100 years of glorious history in boxing I really do hope it comes back strong.

So am not the biggest Mayweather fan but you can't help find the guy interesting and without a doubt one of the best and most technical prize fighters ever!!!! So I watched the build up HBO'S 24/7 a four part and a great watch Floyd's this larger than life guy with crazy money massive ego to match tons of famous fan's like 50 cent come around to his gym watch him train along with a giant entourage of people he really is a superstar of modern boxing. The build was great I never heard of Vitor Ortiz till I watched it the guy was from a tough childhood with both parents walking out on him so they build him has this guy who came from nothing and trying to reach the top of the mountain...best scene of the bulid up was Floyd jr and Floyd sr his dad almost come to blows at the Mayweather gym. Its a weird set up his dad messed up when Floyd was young I don't know the history and Floyd get's trained by his uncle Roger now also Floyd Sr trained other fighters against Floyd Jr which is crazy to me. But the fight between them was nuts and a little sad it just looked like his dad wanted to be a bigger part of the team and Floyd Jr wasn't having any of it.SEE THE FIGHT ABOVE!!!

So I watched the fight starting with the Awesome Micheal Buffer with his LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!!!!!! the first three rounds were more or less all Floyd, with great footwork and counter striking. Round 4 the Floyd still in control Oritz then comes in with a nice flurry of punches and then Headbutt's Mayweather the ref stops the action. Oritz says sorry to Floyd they meet in the middle of the ring and Oritz says sorry again a second or two after Mayweather lands a left hook followed by a straight right when Ortiz's hands were still down the ref counts Ortiz out and the fights over Mayweather wins another title and remains undefended. It was a crazy ending to such a high profile fight, but who's at fault?

the headbutt

VITOR ORTIZ : Now all this started with Vitor's headbutt he did say sorry right after and right before he got knocked out. But in the rules there's a rule PROTECT YOURSELF AT ALL TIMES before he got knocked out his hands were down and Mayweather is known to fight dirty.

FLOYD MAYWEATHER : Floyd did sucker punch Ortiz just after he said sorry and he did have his hands down. The ref didn't tell them to fight and he finished the fight. But from Floyd's point of view who have trained 12 weeks everyday at boxing your winning the fight and next you get headbutted and your lip is burst open. Vitor Ortiz said he didn't mean to do that but if you watch the video he's punching Floyd stops for a second and drives his head into Mayweather's jaw. So I can see in the heat of the moment why Floyd done that and like I said PROTECT YOURSELF AT ALL TIMES so tough titty Vitor!!!!

JOE CORTEZ : The referee Joe stopped the action after the headbutt when the two when two the middle joe didn't even tell them to fight and wasn't even looking when Mayweather knocked him out. When Ortiz hit the floor Joe counted him out.....In my view its all this guys fault he did take a point away for the headbutt but its the refs job to control the action he's in charge of the fight and the fighters well being during the 12 round affair. He done his job wrong and in a high profile fight like this he should be sacked just my view

The best bit of the fight was the post interview with massive boo's pointed at Mayweather When HBO's Larry Merchant tried to interview Mayweather after the fight, Mayweather suggested the 80-year-old boxing analyst talk to Ortiz "since you've never given me a fair shake." Mayweather then said to Larry you don't know shit about boxing HBO should fire you, to which Merchant replied, "If I was 50 years younger, I'd kick your ass!!!!!" This was funny as hell to me a 34 year old black man shouting at a 80 year old white guy who can barely talk really I don't how he holds his job guess he's just been there forever. And he says he would woop him if he was 50 years younger to massive cheers from the crowd.

I think this sucker punch win will go down as one of the most conversational ending in boxing history along with the ALI PHANTOM PUNCH AGAINST LISTON AND MIKE TYSON CHEWING OFF A BIT OF HOLYFIELD'S EAR!!!!

After this Floyd Mayweather has enhanced his villainous image setting up the biggest fight ever against Manny Pacquiao...Think about the world already wanted to see it it's the only fight that matches those glory days of boxing. The villan with the money burning ego vs the humble man who gives most of his money to his home country of the philippines. It would be ppv gold But will it ever happen I hope so it has to. If these guys were MMA fighters they would have already fought like 3 times by now cause in mma the fighter want to fight the best, But boxing there's all the money and corruption I think Manny would fight Floyd in a heartbeat but Floyd's stalling for whatever reason. You can't call yourself the best when there another guy right there beating all the top guys next to you and you haven't fought DO IT FOR THE FANS AND YOUR DIEING SPORT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!

Heres the full thing above the headbutt, sucker punch and post fight interview

FLOYD MAYWEATHER VS MANNY PACQUIAO 2012 FINGERS CROSSED

HANDS OF STEEL
THE SHOGUN

Denver FUCKING Airport?

2011-09-13T15:18:00.000-07:00

Like most people who fuck around online I love a good conspiracy JFK,MOONLANDINGS,AREA 51 THE 9/11 stuff. But I was watching Jessie Ventura's conspiracy show now his shows dog shit Him and his team go around asking questions about conspiracy's but its all set up so fake and acted out the show seems really goofy. This show was about secret underground bunkers some points goofy some interesting till he got to Denver Airport and I was blown away!!! for reals.

Now theory's on 2012 with solar flares or planet x (Nibiru) the crash of civilzation, the new world order and the end of the world can step aside for a moment till I shed some facts about this airport.

Some interesting facts: these are from another website

Even though the area is basically flat (with a stunning view of mountains all around, since it's in a valley), the expense and time was taken to extensively lower some areas and raise others. They moved 110 million cubic yards of earth around. This is about 1/3rd of the amount of earth they moved when they dug out the Panama Canal.
The airport has a fiber optic communications core made of 5,300 miles of cable. That's longer than the Nile River. That's from New York City to Buenos Aires, Argentina. The airport also has 11,365 miles of copper cable communications network.
The fueling system can pump 1,000 gallons of jet fuel per minute through a 28-mile network of pipes. There are six fuel hold tanks that each hold 2.73 million gallons of jet fuel. This is somewhere in the "no one will ever ever need this much" range.
Granite was imported from all over the world - Asia, Africa, Europe, North and South America - and used in making the main terminal floor. This is a ridiculous expense, especially when you're already over budget. They say, "The floor pattern echoes the roof design and subtly reinforces passenger flows". Ah...subliminal messages to move your ass. It might look pretty but would any of us know Chilean granite from Chinese granite? Or care? You can dye rock if it's colors you're after. Cheaper rocks. (I wonder what the "stones have power" people say about this...)
The huge, main terminal is Jeppesen Terminal, named after Elfrey Jeppesen, who was the first person to create maps specifically for aviation (the company is still in business today). This area is known as the "Great Hall"; it's said this is what the Masons name their meeting place.
It is 900 feet by 210 feet big. This is over 1.5 million square feet of space. All told, there is over 6 million square feet of public space at DIA. The airport brags that they have room to build another terminal and two more concourses and could serve 100 million passengers a year. The airport flew 36 million in 2001.
The only way to get to the other two concourses/terminals from the Great Hall, or vice versa, is via the airport's train system.
There are more than 19 miles (30 km) of conveyor belt track, luggage transport cars and road in their own underground tunnels that move baggage and goods. They're so huge you can drive trucks through them, and some remain unused.
DIA is the only airport in the world that is located so far from the urban center it services, distanced at more than 20 miles east of the city of Denver.
It was originally budgeted at 1.7 billion dollars to build, and ended up costing almost 5 billion.
Queen Elizabeth and several other top world diplomats have reportedly purchased land near the airport.

OK that was some stats now lets get weird remember this is a fucking airport!!!!!!

Above is some New World Order shit!! notice the masonic badge RIGHT THERE IN THE FUCKING MIDDLE and just under it says NEW WORLD AIRPORT COMMISSION and if you look that up it DOESN'T EXIST!!!!! THAT'S FREAKY

Next nothing crazy it's just a GARGOYLE COMING OUT A BRIEFCASE I have one in my living room

The Horse – Nicknamed “Bluecifer” by the locals due to its ominious appearance, a sculpture of a giant blue Mustang stands guard at the entrance/exit of the terminal.
With blazing red eyes, the horse rears back in a terrifying display that almost feels like a warning to all who enter. Many harken it to one of the four horses of the Apocalypse.
Most frightening of all is the true story about how part of this sculpture fell and killed the artist, Luis Jiménez, while he was working on it.

There also Murals of the end of the world with an evil figure holding a sword and a AK 47 stabbing the dove of peace with dead people from different races now this might be some modern art I don't know but really like I said ITS A FUCKING AIRPORT...also rumours of a city sized underground facility still being worked on and 20'000 troops stationed near by. Plus more marking and hidden signs throughout the airport. THE QUESTIONS ARE is it just bullshit or is the NWO really at work there and planning to save the chosen few from 2012 like disaster. Make your own mind up but the way world event's are unfolding this really scare's the shit out of me. WATCH VIDEO BELOW FOR MORE INFO THE CHICK HAS A FUNNY VOICE WHICH CREEPS ME OUT MORE THAN THE AIRPORT AND SOME POINTS ARE DUMB BUT SOME ARE GOOD AND SCARY

http://conspiracies.skepticproject.com/articles/nwo/denver-international-airport/

ABOVE IS A LINK THAT DEBUNKS THE CONSPIRACY

2012 I'LL BE AT DENVER AIRPORT WITH A SHOGUN SAYING LET ME IN!!!!!!!!!!

THE SHOGUN

MANSHIT LEVELS part 1

2011-09-08T12:16:00.000-07:00

This post is about MANSHIT LEVELS in this modern world with ipods, laptops, big screen TVs, all the info need just by GOGGLING THAT SHIT SUN!!!! If you want something to eat you just call a takeaway or get up off your ass go to the supermarket and buy the ready killed and wrapped (animals) food and its fucking awesome!!!! but I really do think by shit being so easy (OH yeah if your from a third world country ,a war torn village, live in the jungle or Chuck Norris don't read this i sound like an asshole but if you have Internet access what the fuck you moaning about your doing fine read on!!!) yeah so shits easy now am not saying easy as in life's easy am easy as in........ You don't have get up at 5 am stab a cow in the face skin it for clothes and eat the dumb fuckin thing!!!! So we're on the level now

So for me I had a boring fucking job I painted on BUILDING SITES (MANSHIT POINTS) But I really fucking hated it. I had the same shit everyday paint go home deal with the kids and listen to the girlfriend maybe watch a movie and repeat the next day....living that way fucks with a man.... You grow up with dreams wanting to do stuff see the world I had kids in my young party phase and wasn't mentally ready for it. I could have went to a doctor and got pills to help with my depression you sit back watching your mates go on wild holiday's and your stuck bringing up a couple of rug rats at 17. So I started Muay Thai kickboxing and then MMA and other combat sports and started feeling much better. And it really comes down to this I spend my childhood out smashing shit building camps ,fishing , shooting air rifles, playing in the woods you know boys stuff. I think am part of the last generation of kids that went out to play am only 26 but kids at 10 now sit on facebook and xbox all the time I never see kids just running around with a stick useing it as a machine gun anymore..I love fucking about online and playing xbox watching movies/TV shows too. But go outside and do shit you'll feel much better.

My point is Manshit do stuff that your body is meant to do to kick into your natural reward system and props to JOE ROGAN for making me think this way. Yes enjoy fucking about online but work on your skill sets you get one shot at life no point sitting around pissed off all the time and yes a do still sit about pissed off at times but you just work on improving yourself.

THE LOWEST FORM OF MANSHIT LEVELS EVER SEEN

My MANSHIT LEVELS from 1 to 10... 1 the weakest 10 the highest

Justin Bieber and the Faggot Vampire dude from Twilight very low levels here and whats wrong with men today there tests counts are so low they mite have vagina's
Lady GAGA also another person that is what is wrong with the world today but she still as higher test levels than Bieber and Rpatz
BIG FRUITY CAMP DUDES
THE DUDES FROM JERSEY SHORE yes very high tests levels in good shape but you lose levels for being thick as pig shit you need the metal edge as well
People that are working hard looking after there family but they just don't get the foot down enough to get out and work on that manshit you guys are doing well stick in the under 5's can go fuck themselves
People that have got 5 down and have a cool hobby like mma, rock climbing, deep sea diving group hug guys use are doing a great job
Now were at the Alpha level
this list doesn't make sense
Bear Grills, Clint Eastwood and Hulk Hogan
Joe Rogan, Randy Couture, Bruce Lee, WAR Hero's, Inventor's and Russians

Ok my list sucked a bag of dicks am not researching am just shooting off the top of my head am dumb I am working on it.

So if your a 7 your solid you don't to do much more but if you are a 7 you'll notice some key alpha behaviour

at hq with my green tea

Taking Massive Shits is awesome it feels good you get some good reading time in.
Shooting loads Daily is a must or rape chokes will be used and then jail
You can't do small talk it doesn't interest you
opening a can/tin with a knife when theres a can/tin opener handy excites you so does fashioning a pointy stick for no good reason
watching animals fighting on youtube hours of fun

So I work my manshit by training mma/thai boxing, combat sambo and lifting kettlebells and weights and for my mental I write this blog watch a fuck load of docs listen to podcasts like the joe rogan experience and I love a good movie and TV show mainly stuff like 24, the soprano's ,dexter I do watch True Blood which brings the levels crashing down cos it's gay as fuck but I watch the wire which brings them back up I think.

I also am looking into new things to try out like my buddy came to my house the other day and he loves that Bear Grylls stuff and asked if I wanted to go out and do some bush craft stuff "yeah fuck it" So we went into the woods with bacon beans a water can and 3 knifes. He already had a camp he was working on there with a half build shelter and fire pit. My pal showed me how to make a fire the right way and then I chopped a tree down with a big knife for no reason just cause, It was fucking great I felt like I kid again running about the woods with knifes making fires and getting dirty we made the bacon and beans boiled green tea (samurai's drank green tea fuck you) it was awesome. The best bit was leaving the woods we jumped down this 4 foot ledge onto a path still holds big knifes in front of some guy just passing through he didn't know what to do his pace of walking slowed right down and me and my buddy were just laughing like madmen. It was fun

manshit 101 cut a tree with a big knife

me man me make fire

I don't Know my point here but just go and do shit workout instead of doing nothing watch a good cult movie or a doc instead of some dumb reality show fashion a pointy stick THROW ROCKS AT STUFF!!!!!! OK I HAVE LOST MY WAY HERE....

Peace Out

The Shogun

Animals Having SEX!!! IS FUNNY It Just Is

2011-08-29T15:38:00.000-07:00

If you have an ultra childish brain like me, then you will rank animals fucking in your top 5 funniest things on earth another is 1 year old children saying things like CUNT OR FUCK also cracks me up I don't have time to tell you the other three in my top 5 maybe another time. Put it this way your walking down the street and you notice a line of traffic being held up by a Rottweiler blasting the ass off a Labrador Retriever with its pink cock sliding in and out cars beeping there horns. You just point and laugh and go about your day.

Which brings me the the awesome day I had with my family (girlfriend and 2 daughters) at Edinburgh zoo a few years back. It was a nice sunny day unusual for Scotland I know, So we're checking out the animals having a good time when we got to the turtles. Inside the pen filled with sand was you guessed it two turtles having sex straight away am laughing my ass off at the turtles slow methodical thrusts a bit like myself huh ladies!! After that we watched a free monkey mma fight it was great they were beating the shit out each other could this day get any better. Moving on to were the Chimps this male chimp was behind a glass jail with stuff for them to climb on it does get me down seeing animals in zoos but is the only way next to going and living in the wild you can get close to these animals because looking at a chimp behind glass your relaxed having a nice look. A chimp not behind glass your on edge there nice animals but you know in a heartbeat there could rip your ballbag off and chew it infront you. But anyway this chimp is sitting on a ledge with its back turned there's about 15 people with kids standing watching when the chimp out of nowhere turns jumps down to the ground covered in hay runs then slides up to the glass with his legs wide open and starts jiggling its massive grapefuit's sized balls in front of everyone like he waited for the best moment to strike again a little uncomfortable but I almost shit myself laughing.

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Moving on and to finish the day the loins great scary powerful cats I think there was one male and three females the alpha had a strong pimp hand for sure. After watching them sleeping for a few minutes my girlfriend Jane notice's a lady from own hometown I didn't know her but she was very proper spoken almost posh if you will with her mummy mummy look at the loins posh son very Harry Potter like kid, I will bet money he grows up loving a creamy saltly load in his mouth I just got that vibe, So since I didn't know the woman I kept quiet and let them talk away about ladies things shoes,cooking,periods and cleaning the house or something I wasn't listening when the Alpha loins wakes up swaggers around I bit then decides to flat out rape one of the females just gets on top pins her down by the back of the neck with his giant alpha paw and starts giving it powerful thrusts not like the turtles earlier these were POWERFUL!!!! you could his loin balls slapping off the loiness TANG!! then gives it THUNDEROUS ROARS guess thats how it works in the jungle. When this was going on the harry potter kid asks "mummy mummy what are they doing" now am doing my best to hold this laugh in now Mother said "there wrestling son just wrestling" too late now am laughing ultra loud after standing saying nothing for 10 minutes there was tears in my eyes. So to round off a nice family day we saw turtles slow thrusting a chimps big hairy testical's and a loin raping..

.its just funny to me am sorry oh oh oh we also saw a Rhino pissing on another Rhino's head AWESOME JUST AWESOME

PEACE LOVE AND MONKEY JIZZ
THE SHOGUN

Chris Lytle has left the building

2011-08-20T09:27:00.000-07:00

Chris Lytle retired this week after beating down Dan Hardy and forcing him to tap in the dying seconds of the fight. For those who don't know who Chris Lytle is he is a former pro boxer with a record of 13 wins 1 loss 1 draw but mainly know for mma and fighting in the UFC with a record of 31 wins 18 losses 5 draws not the greatest record but it was the way the guy fought is why am writing this. He now holds the record for the most bonus wins in the ufc with 10 bonuses 6 for submission of the night, 1 knockout of the night, and 3 fights of the night. He would go toe 2 toe with anyone like Nick Diaz, Robbie Lawler, Paul Taylor, Matt Serra, Matt Hughes, Josh Koscheck, Dan Hardy, Thiago Alves, Matt Brown and Marcus Davies to name a few.

Why am i writing this blog well Chris was always the mid level guy on a card never the star of a ppv or event you would be amped for a main event and look at who else was on the card see Chris and be like ahhhh cool Lytle's fighting and you knew there would be at least one bloody fight on the card...the crazy thing is he was known for boxing and brawling but really his ground game was just has good he had a few barn burning brawls that ended in an nice submission to finish. The Guy always put on a show a true fighter not there to win by holding someone down for 15 minutes there to get in the grill of his opponent and go at it.

So it was great to see in his final fight to go out after a great stand and bang fight till Dan Hardy looked to go to the ground at the end and Chris switched on a nice Guillontine Choke to win the fight he won two bonuses it was THE MAIN EVENT and tapped a guy that the Welterweight Champion GSP couldn't. Its very rare in combat sports for a guy to go out on top at only 36 and won 5 out his last 6 to spend more time with his family. So I tip my hat to You SIR much respect and thanks for all the great fights....Ladies and Gentlement CHRIS "LIGHTS OUT" LYTLE!!!!!!!!!!!

PEACE
THE SHOGUN

High As Giraffe Pussy With TOM GREEN!!!!!!

2011-08-11T16:49:00.000-07:00

So it's Edinburgh Festival time here in Scotland , So I got myself and a few buddy's tickets for Tom Green's Stand up show for Sat 6th of Aug..... I have always been a fan of Tom think I was about 16/17 when Road Trip and Freddy Got Fingered came out I have seen those movies tons of time's. Am also I big fan of stand up mostly american stand up's like Bill Burr, Joe Rogan, Doug Stanhope , Chirs Rock, Dave Chappelle and my current favourite Louis C.K. But this was my first live stand up show and Tom was a good place to start.

gspotthemaster,that dude pete from big brother,me

To start the night me @weerambo @gspotthemaster and another buddy not on twitter Hutchie headed to Edinburgh. Now am on a smoker but I wanted the full comedy experience I wanted to get BAKED TO THE GILLS!!!! and I was at a wedding the night before so I was already RUFF AS A BADGER'S ASSHOLE from drinking so we got some weed and a pipe to get the party started . So we get to Edinburgh and right away meet some dude PETE who won BIG BROTHER UK the reality show I didn't even know who the dude was but Gspot did so fuck I got a photo with him like a big whore hahaha (pic above) Next we hit the Pipe a few times in an ally in front of tourist's passing by plus it was pissing down big time with rain so we're standing in an ally in the pissing rain circling around a pipe like CRACKHEADS. After that we hit the bars where another friend hooked up with us Mr Peel we had some drinks we got high party's good so far.

Around this time @weerambo was the most fucked up talking total shit but I wasn't far behind after I few more hours hitting the pipe beers and other stuff which am not naming here!! all 5 of us were drunk and high as motherfuckers lets go see Tom Green. The venue Tom was playing was in a giant upside down inflatable purple cow when your high that's cool as fuck. But the cue was outside in the heavy rain after standing for half an hour we were all as wet as a whore's pussy. Not to let this get us down we smashed the pipe again and drank more beers ohhhhh jesus!!! Finally we got in Tom hit the stage and shouted CHICKEN SANDWHICH AND CORN ON THE COB over and over about 30 times then got into his stand up. Side Note sitting infront of me at the show was Michael Winslow WHO? Fuck you know Sgt. Larvelle "Motor Mouth" Jones in the Police Academy series of movies Who? the one who made all noises's like robot sounds and machine guns and beat boxes, So we're high and Sgt Jones is right there it was a fucking trip for us all we all grew up watching and loving those shitty movies.

me and tom

wee rambo,tom green,gspotthemaster

So Toms show was a lot of fun some good jokes but you can tell Toms working stuff out at the moment and that's cool to see some stuff worked and some didn't but the process of stand up really interests me and if a bit didn't work Tom carried over to the next bit I thought he done a great job and he will only get better at it after all its only his first year back doing it and it was a pretty soild fun show. Toms had a crazy path in life from his pranks he done to his mum and dad see utube having a show on Mtv starring in Movies and then went Fuck It and started his own Talk Show from his living room on the internet to now going back to his stand up roots. After the show Tom hung around talking and drinking with fans and taking photo's this is always good and shows how nice a guy the canadian really is I spoke to him for a few seconds got a photo with him and a hand shake but was far to high to talk any more than that the brain was not working on full power at this point of the night but I wish Tom nothing but the best for him in the future from me and @weerambo @gspotthemaster Mr peel and Hutchie we had a soild night and the Freddy Got Fingered Quotes were also awesome "Daddy would you like some Sausage"

In the cue for the show drunk/baked..Me,Mr Peel,Weerambo and Hutchie

After the show we jumped on a bus back to my hometown and watched UFC 133 and got drunker and HIGHER to the point were I had to lay down in my bathroom for 20 minutes because I was overflowing in Highness. Gspot lasted the longest I went to bed after the fights weerambo burned out at some point and gspot sat and watched Ancient Aliens hahaha thats a great show right enough. So powerful night TOMGREEN,DRUNK,PETE,LOOKINGLIKECRACKHEADS,SGTJONES AND HIGH AS GIRAFFE PUSSY!!!!!!!! Had so much fun we're going to see Steve O from Jackass fame trying out stand up going to be another fun as fuck night for the Deathsquad UK

SHAZAM!!!
THE SHOGUN

I KNOW WHAT YOUR THINKING....YES I HAVE SEEN A MAN PUNCH A SHEEP INTO A COMA!!!

2011-08-03T14:27:00.000-07:00

Am going to take you back close to ten years ago to one of the most FUCKED UP things i have ever seen. Just a months before my first daughter was born I was 17 and as dumb as they come just drinking and partying all the time it was all I knew. Although I was saving a lot of money for when the baby comes the time was closing in the I knew the partying was coming to an end soon. My mum and dad were going on hoilday so i thought OHH FUCK YESS party time for the full weekend me and a large team of friends got as us scots say ON IT!!!!! Large volumes of merrydown cider and buckfast wine the drinks of choice for young males in scotland from the friday to early monday morning we drank and by the monday there was only two left me and ENTER JOHNNY LOPEZ!!!!!

Johnny Lopez was by miles the craziest friend I have ever had his mum and dad died when he was young leaving him to be brought up by his gran who was very old so johnny really had no one to guide him so he was batshit crazy. He gave his gran a skinhead in her sleep for grounding him also I think I that seen him walk round naked in public at least three times. I kind of felt sorry for him and used to give him old clothes and stuff anyway back to the scene. I remember it was a misty monday morning around 7am we're still hammered drunk so we bagged the last of the merrydown and lifted my 22 air rifle ohhhh jesus!!! and headed into the farmers parks full of sheep and cows. Because we were 17 drunk and had an air rifle we thought it would be super funny to shot 22 slugs into cows assholes and the result YES it was!!!! they would just stand there give you a weird look and go MMMMOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! This was enough fun for me but not Johnny "give me the gun" He said took his jumper and Tshirt off the started marching right up to the cows till he was 2 feet away from it squaded fired and shot it in the udder. I laughed the cow done nothing so this wasn't enough for Johnny he started running around the park chasing sheep till "A GOAT WAN!!!!" Scottish for I got one.

Now the fucked up bit I saw johnny grabbed the sheep by the back of the wool let me stop for a second at this point in the farmers field we were standing next to a railway bridge when a train went pass, so johnny grabbed the back of its wool picked it up head height and slammed it 4/5 times I shit you NOT I stood there with my jaw open and the sheep was now just lying knocked out.....I said to Lopaz "thats enough Johnny" He said "I'll tell you when its had enough" And went to Knee on Belly grabbed the back of the sheep's head and started punching it in the head. Now I have not punched a sheep in the face in my 26 years on this planet but i would think there skulls are pretty hard!!! this didn't phase Johnny had all while he was slamming thunderous punches into its sheepish face until we saw the farmer flying over the park in his quad bike so we ran like a muthafucker jumped fences thou the woods and over a river. So I know this story is pretty sick and horrible but for a moment place yourself in that train on that misty monday morning around 7.50am the rush hour train the busy train not a empty seat on it your a bit sleepy your reading your paper and for a second you have a little look out the window to see A SHIRTLESS MAN HOLDING A SHEEP BY THE BACK OF ITS FUCKING WOOL SLAMMING IT FROM HEAD HEIGHT INTO THE GROUND you can't make that shit up and I don't know if the sheep lived after its ufc style beat down for no reason I hope it did but that was years ago so good chance its been on someones diner plate by now.

After that my daughter was born and I cut a lot of friends off because you can't have sheep punching types around your kids. I haven't seen Johnny in years last I heard he now has a heroin problem..I guess I blogged about this because I think the % of sheep being punched into a coma story isn't high so enjoy or just be disgusted

STAY BAAAAALACK
THE SHOGUN

ABOUT ME AND STARTING A BLOG

2011-08-02T13:29:00.000-07:00

WHATS UP PEOPLE? My name is DEREK SKILLING am from a old mining town in scotland called SHOTTS kind of a shithole!! But am used to it now i have lived here all my life am 26 and starting (trying) to write a blog I wasn't great at school and its my way to try learn myself to write better. I train MMA/SAMBO/THAI etc and i think you should have a ying and yang in life training and working being THE YING like physical stuff so i have been looking for THE YANG SIDE mental stuff!!!!! so am trying this to vent stress and be a little more creative by doing this. Am a painter by trade (houses) but i was pretty badass at drawing when i was younger so looking to try that again also and listening to the joe rogan podcast helps chill me out also.

Why all the STRESS you ask? Well quick recap of my life so far Grew up in a steady working class family with one sister who was wheelchair bound and handycapped growing up with that was pretty tough but and mum and dad done a good job raising me (i think?) 13 to 17 i was a hard partier and pretty easy going guy till my girlfriend that our first baby sophie and she was born with DOWN SYNDROME cue super depression and fighting with the girlfriend. I have always had a hard time dealing with this but got better with it over the years think about it your 18 your head is full of little cars crashing into each other you don't care for much next you have all this crazy responsibility in your life. But Sophie is hard to bring up its a challenge for sure am a lot mentally stronger for it and shes a great kid too shes 8 now. Back to the story second kid born two years later emily shes 5 now so having the two kids and fighting with your girl all the time oh and working on a building site ain't easy on the mind AM BITCHIN TOO MUCH I KNOW so i train mma now do some thai boxing and training russian combat sambo and love it helps keep the stress levels down keeps my MANSHIT levels up...so now am trying to as well as be a good dad do shit with my life and don't let myself get down in the dumps I think you get one shot at life and its best to fit in as much shit and get good at as much skills as you can.

So am going to blog about some of the stuff i get up too in my quest for the YING/YANG I was talking about Its my first blog a little back story sorry the feel sorry for me bit am just trying to say a have been at a low point in life but changed and started being more positive the way i look at things now and it helps. Anyway hope someone out there enjoyed it

STAY HIV POSITIVE
THE SHOGUN