Thoughts of a Dreamer

Broken Glass

2011-04-29T02:19:00.003-05:00

"Some of us were made to be broken. Like a shattered piece of glass, when light shines through us it casts a more beautiful pattern of light than it would through a glass fully intact. But for us broken it is easier to hide in the shadows where no one can see our faults. Stand tall and proud and do not hide. When they see you, broken soul, they will marvel."

Think of the most inspirational stories you've heard. Are they not about someone broken who refused to stay down? They are about someone who, despite their odds and faults, chose to do something better than what people would have said was fine considering their circumstance. The broken will crash or they will fly. Come out from the shadows and take a leap of faith.

By Fire

2011-04-25T14:31:00.001-05:00

By Fire

God has a purpose.

This past week, I have been facing some temptations and thoughts that I have not struggled with in awhile. Some of them have been absent for over a year or more. It all was harder to deal with, making me more stressed, because didn't seem to be any real trigger for any of it. Last night I was having a bit of a breakdown.

I ended up talking to a good friend of mine some time after 2am Her and I seem to always have conversations centered around God and Christ and encourage one another. Last night was no different. She helped me see things in the right perspective and I brought my thoughts and temptations before God. Unsurprisingly, I was relieved right away.

Because I was physically and somewhat emotionally drained from the previous night, I was very tired sitting in my 8am class. I had a break until my 10am class and wanted to take a nap but had some things to do. After my 10am, I had another break and went to my car. I fell asleep very easily.

I woke up from a haunting dream. I've been having scary dreams this past week and at first thought it was no different. But something felt different this time.

I don't remember all of the details of my dream, but I remember enough. There were a lot of people in pain, screaming, wailing, and people dying. The horror of it all had people killing themselves. People were setting themselves on fire. I too became engulfed in flames. I lay there, waiting to die, and feeling at peace about it as the fire consumed me. Suddenly, I no longer felt like dying. Something stirred inside of me that told me to go on. My mind said that my body was too burnt and broken to stand up and move, but I felt I had to try. I stood up and the flames went out.

Instead of pain, I felt at peace. There was a mirror on a wall in front of me. Smoke damage had made the reflection unclear and I could hardly see myself. I could see enough to see that I was burnt and scarred, broken and ugly. But underneath all of that, I felt that I was made clean.

I woke up and for a moment was unable to move. I didn't even feel like I could breathe. After a moment breath came back to me and I could sit up. My soul, mind, and body were at a complete peace. It took my awhile to fully comprehend the dream.

I was purified by fire.

It is something that I've thought about many times in my life. The analogy of being purified by fire is one I use often. This past week suddenly made complete sense: God was reminding me of who I was, and today reminded me of who I've become and who I am to be.

As I said, the analogy of fire is one I often use. I typically relate it to sword making. When a bladesmith is making a sword, he must put the sword in fire and heat it to scolding temperatures. The steel must be heated until it glows orange to work with. Steel becomes red somewhere between 1200 and 1500 degrees Fahrenheit. It becomes orange around 1800 degrees. When it is orange, the bladesmith takes it out and begins shaping the steel. The steel is placed on an anvil and is hit with a hammer in order to lengthen the blade. It is then put back into the fire until it is red, and shaped with the hammer in sections of 6 to 8 inches. This is repeated until the whole sword is done. During this process, the sword is occasionally allowed to normalize. This means it is put in the fire, and then sat out to cool without being worked on. Normalizing the blade makes it smooth. After another step or two, the blade is polished and finished.

It takes fire and hammer to make the sword as fine as it can be. Just as it takes trials and tribulations for us to become the instrument God wants us to be. He is the bladesmith and we are the blade.

I was thinking about all of the things in my past that have most defined me, and very few of them were good times:

It took my grandfather's death for me to start thinking that there must be more to life than simply living.

It took me realizing I was weak for me to become strong.

It took me treating a girlfriend horribly to understand how to treat a lady.

It took me taking some of her innocence to know what it meant to respect a woman's body.

It took depression for me to become humble.

It took me wanting to die before I could find the true reason to live.

It took me having no reason to live to see that God was the only reason to live.

It took depression, anxiety and fear problems and trying to overcome them by worldly means to find that God was the only person or thing that could bring me lasting and unending peace and joy.

It took me realizing I could never be good enough on my own before I could fully give my life to Christ for salvation.

------------------------------------

I pray that it does not take you such great trials to realize what I have come to learn.

Covered by the blood, washed by the water, purified by the fire.

Romans 5:1-11 Peace with God Through Faith

1 Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. 6 For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 9 Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. 10 For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. 11 More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 Strength In Weakness

7 So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2010-12-12T23:50:00.003-06:00

Sometimes thinking about what Christ did for me brings me to tears. When hearing this song I think of angel's announcing Christ, proclaiming Him a hero.

Watch and listen to this song - Hero by the group Abandon

Whenever I hear a song, especially songs about God and Christ, I create something like a music video in my head. This note is going through some of the things I think about when I hear the song.

One of the first images I get is Jesus sitting at the right hand of God in heaven. They look at each other, God nods, and Jesus stands up. He begins to walk the golden path from His seat towards the gates of Heaven. Along the path are saints and angels singing "There He goes! A hero, the savior to the world". They all know what He is preparing to do. He arrives at the gate and exits heaven.

He enters our world as a baby. I see Him lying in a manger, the nativity scene. I see a host of angels above singing once again, "There He goes, a hero".

I see Him as a boy, at the temple speaking to the adults with a knowledge far beyond His years. The angels are singing.

He is walking down the streets looking like any other man, but something is different, everyone that sees Him feels it. As He walks by people's heads turn. A boy says "there He goes, a hero". Jesus then calls the disciples to follow Him. Soon all that follow Him proclaim "there He goes! A hero!"

He is speaking to children, I see Him giving the Sermon On The Mount. He walks on the water and He calms the storming sea. He goes around healing and performing miracles. The pharisees call Him a hypocrite and turn many against Christ. However, the children and those that received His message shout out "There He goes, a hero!"

He is sentenced to death. As He carries the cross up to the place He will die and the streets are crowded with people watching. While many curse Him, there are a few people who, singing through tears, "There He goes, a hero".

Christ dies. The curtain in the temple is torn. The curtain that symbolizes our separation from God. The torn curtain symbolizes how, because of Christ, those who believe are no longer separated from God because of their faith and sins being forgiven. We were once far off but can now draw near to God. The angels sing that it is because of our hero, the savior to the world.

Mary Magdalene and the other women go to the tomb and find it open. Angels sing "Have no fear! He's not here!" He is risen from the grave and conquered death. Jesus finds the disciples and they don't believe it's Him. "Here He stands with scars in His hands". They see the scars and believe. "There He goes, the hero. The Savior to the world!Here He stands with the scars in His hands! With love He gave His life so we could be free!

Next I see Jesus ascending into heaven. The 500 witnesses and angels all sing "There He goes, the hero, the savior to the world!".

Then I see Jesus arriving at the gates of heaven. He walks up the path with the saints and angels on the sides. They all proclaim, "There He goes, the hero, the savior to the world!" Jesus arrives at the throne of God, looks up and says, "it is finished". Jesus then takes His seat at the right hand of God.

How great and loving is our God!

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only son. That whoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life" John 3:16

"For the wages of sin is death. But the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" Romans 6:23

If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9

“Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord.” (Acts 3:19)

“I tell you, no; but unless you repent you will all likewise perish. ” (Luke 13:5)

“… the goodness of God leads you to repentance.” (Romans 2:4) The God that sent His son to die for us.

Spiritual Gifts Part 1: Tongues

2010-07-08T03:47:00.004-05:00

*I encourage you to have a bible with you so that you may look at the verses and not just take my word for it*

Spiritual gifts are a very touchy subject for many people. Some people believe that the spiritual gifts seen in the bible are no longer present, some believe they are still in full effect. Others believe that some are still seen and other gifts are dead. Personally, I believe God is capable of anything, and capable of doing anything through anyone. For this reason I believe gifts still exist. However I think that they are sometimes misused.

I believe in tongues and prophesy, healing, and many other spiritual gifts. However these are often very much misused.

On the matter of tongues, in my experience, 90% of the time (or more) it is used in an unbiblical manner. In the bible, typically when someone spoke in tongues, it was in a language that someone understood (See Acts 2:6-8). Tongues refers simply to speaking in another language; one that is known and understood by others but is not native to or previously learned by the speaker. It would be like me going to Brazil and speaking Portuguese which is something I've never done.

One of the only times the Bible mentions speaking in tongues as an incomprehensible language is in 1 Corinthians 14.

14:2 "For the one speaking in a tongue does not speak to people but to God, for no one understands; he is speaking mysteries by the Spirit." To me this is what many call "a heavenly language". I believe that this type of tongues is present today.

14:3-5 "But he who prophesies speaks to men for their edification, exhortation, and consolation. He who speaks in another language edifies himself, but he who prophesies edifies the assembly. Now I desire to have you all speak with other languages, but rather that you would prophesy. For he is greater who prophesies than he who speaks with other languages, unless he interprets, that the assembly may be built up."

"13 So then, one who speaks in a tongue should pray that he may interpret."

To me, when someone speaks in tongues that no one, not even the one speaking it, can understand, it is pointless and possibly wrong. It says that the one who speaks in tongue builds himself up. A spiritual gift should not be used to build oneself up, but to build up others and bring glory to God. There are some people out there that I truly believe aren't really speaking in tongues, but are just speaking jibberish.

I think the following verses sum this up nicely. 1 Corinthians 14:26-28 "What then shall we say, brothers? When you come together, everyone has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue or an interpretation. All of these must be done for the strengthening of the church. If anyone speaks in a tongue, two—or at the most three—should speak, one at a time, and someone must interpret. If there is no interpreter, the speaker should keep quiet in the church and speak to himself and God."

This makes it clear that an interpreter must be present if speaking to the church in tongues, whether it be in a known or unknown language.

At a church I used to go to there was a guy that would go up by the stage in the middle of worship and start speaking in tongues. People would always say, oh look how filled by the spirit he is. He must be so close to God. All I knew about the man was that he was the guy that went up to the stage and spoke in tongues. I don't think anyone knew what he was saying. All of that did nothing but build him up and make him seem more holy, when he may not have been at all.

Verse 13 says that one who speaks in a tongue should pray that he may interpret. I do believe that one can speak in tongues, and God can give the speaker insight into it's meaning. This would be prophesy. More or less, God speaking through a person. If one speaks in tongues, and it is interpreted, I have no problem with that. When someone speaks in tongues and no one knows what it is, I have to be skeptical on if it is truly the spiritual gift of tongues.

Verse 14 says "If I pray in a tongue, my spirit prays, but my mind is unproductive."

There are people I know that will speak in tongues when in personal prayer to the Lord. As the verse says, it is your spirit praying. This to me is what Romans 8:26-27 speaks of. "In the same way, the Spirit also helps our weaknesses, for we don't know how to pray as we ought. But the Spirit himself makes intercession for us with groanings which can't be uttered. He who searches the hearts knows what is on the Spirit's mind, because he makes intercession for the saints according to God.". In personal prayer, speaking in tongues is the Spirit praying what we cannot (though honestly, and to be fair to those that don't agree with tongues, this verse may also simply mean that God knows what we want to say when we can't find the words). That would be beautiful and I hope that someday I can do so.

Another interesting story. At my gym once, there is a Christian family I coached. We'll call them the Robinsons family (that is not their real name). I found out they were home schooled, and it's usually a safe assumption that home schoolers are Christians so I asked what church the kids went to and let them know what church I went to. I think this is why the kids always found their way into my classes. I made it clear that I was a home schooled Christian as well. On their last day at the gym they brought some friends with them to open gym. I hate to stereotype the family the Robinsons brought, but from a very short conversation with them and you could tell (knowing previously that they are Christians) they are Assemblies of God Christians (don't forget, stereotyping isn't always a negative thing, it just means generalizing or assuming based on characteristics of a group). We'll call this family the Smiths. They were the last ones to leave the gym because the two families were talking to each other for awhile, it being the last day they'd see each other before the move. I told them I didn't mind because it was my job to close the gym and was in no rush. The mom of the Smiths asked me if I would mind if they prayed for the Robinsons. I said of course not. The Mrs. Robinson mentioned that I was one of the adult leaders at my youth group and that I was Christian too. Mrs. Smith then immediately asked me what I thought about speaking/praying in tongues. After some hesitation I said "I believe that it exists, but is often misused". She said she agreed and just wanted to make sure before she prayed.

She went on to pray over each member of the Robinson family. She prayed in English at first, then at the end of each individual prayer she prayed in tongues. I stood on the outside praying with them, but when she started to pray in tongues I opened my eyes. The kids had also opened their eyes and were looking at each other petrified. It is not my place to say whether or not the lady was truly speaking in tongues, but I think this is a case of misusing the gift because there was no one to interpret.If she were praying by herself in tongues for them, I would not object. But the Word says that it is to be used to build up the church. Paul even says "I want to speak five words with my mind to instruct others, rather than ten thousand words in a tongue." (1 Cor 14:19).

Once again I must say that I believe in the spiritual gift of tongues. If you are a person that has this gift, I pray that you would study how the Bible presents it and says it should be used. Use your gift but use it in a way that brings glory to God and builds up the church.

For those that do not believe in the gift of tongues, I pray that you would not look down upon those that do. Instead of telling someone that believes in it that they are wrong, it would best to simply go over what the Bible says about the gift. And DO NOT just say it, show it. Use the Bible and the verses.

Again, this is a touchy subject. Please express your opinions, questions, comments, and concerns in a manner that will not provoke others. Understand that each person may have their own opinion on these topics and that it is not either of our places to judge another.

Giving Back - Part 2: Sharing Your Gifts

2010-02-05T02:20:00.011-06:00

For the past 6 years, I have been thinking of ways to raise money and awareness for different causes. I have six years of ideas and nothing to show for it. I'm what many call a dreamer. Sometimes my dreams become so large I get discouraged because they seem so impossible and out of reach. Honestly, for the past six years, they were. I was trying to muster up the strength to do it myself and not relying on anyone else. Though I would say I was, I wasn't relying on God either. With all of the things going on in my life over the years, there was no way I could get anything else done.

And then I got back on track with God. Everything started to make sense. Everything started to become clear. The paths I needed to walk on were set right in front of me. There are many things I can do by myself, but if I want to make a huge difference I need God. There have been other points in my life where I was close to God, but was still relying on myself. God may sometimes send angels to swoop down and help you. Sometimes God sends angels in the form of your family, your friends, and those around you. For the first time I saw that in order to accomplish my dreams and the work God has set out for me I NEEDED other people. As an introverted person who tries to be as self sufficient as possible, this has not been an easy transition. But by turning away the help of others, I started to see I was turning down the help I prayed for. There are so many people that have been God's angels for me and they probably have no idea.

As I said in my last note, I believe God gave us all gifts so that we can use them to give to others and ultimately give back to Him. This has been the center of most of my ideas. How can we use what God has given us to give to others? Over the past few months, the ideas were coming back and the fire in my heart to do something was burning as strong as ever. Some friends were unknowingly fueling that fire with their own urges to make a difference. And then the earthquake in Haiti happened. I don't believe much in chance, I think God was getting me ready to do something.

I started trying to figure out how I was going to help. There are many opportunities for an individual to give in times of crisis, but I wanted something that was going to bring people together to help the people of Haiti. I started to remember a meeting I had a few years ago. At the end of my senior year of high school I spoke with Sammi King from the Daily Herald. She gave me a ton of contacts that I could use if I wanted to set up an event. There was one in particular that she said as the first person I should talk to: Mrs. Britta McKenna.

I felt this is what I had to do, and for the first time in my life I didn't hesitate or think about it. I sent Mrs. McKenna message asking what I have to do to set up an event. She met with me a week later and ever since then the ball has been rolling. First of all, I must say she knows even more than I could imagine about how to do this stuff, and second, she knows everyone I need to talk to to make it happen. Third, and most importantly, she's an awesome lady. While I was meeting with her, the director of BATV and the owner of a local music school just so happened to be there at the same time. She introduced me, let them know I was planning something, and they said to contact them. Mrs. McKenna gave me all the information I need and some great advice. In all honesty, I felt slightly overwhelmed with how much has to happen for this to be what I've been dreaming. But at the same time I felt a peace knowing that it was happening, something was finally happening.

So by now I'm sure you're wondering what the plans are. I want to give the gifted people around town a chance to use what God has given them to make a difference in people's lives. While the main focus of the event will be arts, I think this can open the door for other types of talent to step in as well.

"Batavia for Haiti" is what I hope to call it. It will be a day filled with chances for people to give. As my last note mentioned, money is the primary way of helping people over seas. While people are willing to donate money offhand, I think we can raise more money by them getting something in return. All too often people get caught up in the idea that giving needs to be something like a sacrifice. While it often is, it doesn't have to be this way. People are more likely to give when also getting something in return (though of course the primary incentive is to help). What they will receive is a wonderful day full of gifted individuals. Musicians, dancers, singers, poets, and many others will use their gifts on stage to perform. Other artists, such as painters can include their pieces in silent auctions. Local businesses can provide gift baskets for auctions and raffles, sponsor the event, or offer the services they provide. For instance, the gymnastics facility I work at could have a special fundraising open gym. Not only will this give them a chance to make a difference, it can promote business as well. People also suggested we do a Bake sale at the event too! So if you can bake, you can contribute.

In order for an event like this to happen, a lot of planning is involved. This is where you come in. There is absolutely no way this can be put together by one person. There needs to be a team with people managing things such as, talent, marketing, decorating, graphics, an "E-person", and then people helping. The only way for such a community event to happen is for the community to get involved. As I see who is interested and figure out more details, I will organize a meeting to get this thing done. Please keep in mind that this isn't MY event. This is a chance for everyone to help out others. I can't do it by myself. This is OUR event, this is how WE can make a difference. If you're interested or have ideas, please don't hesitate to share!

I know a lot of people will want to help and some have already let me know that they can. Because of this there will have to be some selection. There can't be 30 people responsible for 5 things! Same goes for the talent that will be featured in the event and in the auctions etc. I want this to primarily be by and for Batavians. Of course this is something that the team will have to decide upon though. Outside talent or just Batavia? This will all be planned out as things move along. But please still let me know if you are interested, even if you aren't from, or currently live in, Batavia.

And if it doesn't work out for you, it's not like this has to be the only event! Batavia for Haiti, Tri-Cities for Haiti, Illinois for Hati, I don't know. If you want help setting up something in your city or even something small with some friends, let me know and I'm sure I can help get the ball rolling and we can find a way to get everyone making a difference. Also, if you are unsure of how you can use your gifts to make a difference, I can try to help you figure that out too!

"Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others." - Philippians 2:4

God Bless,
Joshua Boyd

Giving Back - Part 1: Gifts

2010-02-05T02:20:00.006-06:00

"Look not only after your own interest, but also the interest of others" (Philippians 2:4). Whether you believe in God or not, life makes it clear that we should help others. We are not meant to sit around and look to improve only our own lives. There are so many different problems in the world that can be prevented, helped, or stopped. All too often people don't help though. For years I pondered as to why that is. Do people not care? Are they too focused and caught up in their own lives to see the lives of others? Would they help if they knew what was happening around them? I am a believer that if presented with a way to help, that most people will unless it has a potential negative effect on themselves. They don't have enough time or money to make a difference. This completely changed the way I looked at raising support for causes.

Though people will sometimes help even if they don't receive any personal gain from it, they are still much more likely to help if it is also helping them. Of course that is often considered against the nature of giving, which is that the "personal gain" should be the joy that you did something for someone else. While this is true, I can't deny how it would increase the amount of help people give if it helps them too. My goal has become to show people how easy it is to help, and provide ways that they can do this that maximizes support.

While I believe things such as AIDS research and support for a cure are very important, my main focus has always been things that are more more easily cured and preventable, especially in kids. Let's look at malaria as an example. Malaria was the 4th leading killer of children under the age of 5 in the world between 2000 and 2003 (http://www.cdc.gov/malaria/impact/index.htm). It was estimated to have killed 853,000 kids under the age of 5. With the typical total of malaria deaths being about one million, 85% of the deaths are kids under the age of 5. At that age, it killed over 530,000 more than AIDS. The craziest thing about these statistics is that malaria is curable and preventable.

It is transmitted by mosquitoes. Most people get bit while they sleep. One of the most popular preventions are insecticide treated bed nets. They cost between $5 and $10 US dollars (http://www.nothingbutnets.net/). And then there is also medication that can be taken to prevent and/or cure malaria. So why is something that is so preventable such a huge problem?

MONEY

Money is the solution to many problems in this world. While it may not be possible to completely eradicate things such as malaria, with enough money, the number of cases and deaths can be greatly diminished. Though the estimates of how much it can be stopped vary, the W.H.O. Malaria Chief said we could decrease it by 90% (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/04/health/04mala.html).

So why does malaria still kill approximately one million people a year? Possibly because people don't realize how easy it is to help. Possibly because people don't realize how easy it is to make a positive difference in someone's life. I'm not the type that wants to rag on celebrities saying they are not donating enough of their salaries to things like this. It is the regular, everyday people that have and will change the direction of the world. Yes, some Hollywood star could give a million dollars and that would be wonderful. But how about one million people giving $2, or $5, or $10. Considering there are over 300 million people in the U.S. I'm sure you can see where I'm going.

I realize that we are in hard economic times, and that there are other things in our lives that we need to spend money on. However, don't let that blind you to the fact that you can still do something. Just telling someone else about world problems, raising awareness, is doing something. Taking a minute to go out of your way to genuinely ask how someone is feeling is doing something. There are ways to help all around us, but they are not always clear and evident.

I am a firm believer that God gave each and every person gifts. Some dance, some act, some sing, some write. Others may be gifted with being a good mother, being a great friend, a teacher. Some people can make you smile when all you want to do is cry. Some may be skilled at cooking, problem solving, running, playing video games, playing an instrument. There are so many different types of gifts people have. While some are more openly praised and often considered "better", every gift is important. I don't believe that there is a single gift God has given us that can't be used to give back to others, and ultimately God Himself. Some gifts are more obvious and can clearly be used, but I do believe all gifts can serve a purpose.

What are your gifts? How can you use them to serve others?

My next post will get into some plans on what I hope to do over the next few months to help you help others.

If you would like help figuring out what your gifts are, or how you can use your gifts, please let me know. I would love to help!

Does anyone......

2008-01-31T22:42:00.001-06:00

Does anyone look at this? If so I'll start writing stuff on here. If not, I'll just keep it to myself :).

Dedicated to Hadi

2006-10-28T21:42:00.000-05:00

This is something I wrote a long time ago, when my grandpa died. With everything that has been going on lately, I thought maybe I should repost it, and change it a bit.
Dedicated to Hadi
Trials and Tribulations
Throughout my life, God has put me through many trials. Through trials, many people have given up on God and said things like ‘how could he do this to me’ or ‘how could he take this from me’. One of the things I have learned in my life is that “The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away” which is said in Job 1:21. I also believe that the Lord does this for a reason. In Jobs case, he was put through what were probably the worst things someone could go through, he lost everything, but he trusted in God and in the end God gave him double of what he started with. Hadi is receiving her rewards for her life in heaven right now. I know that we may not get back what we have lost, but the Lord does everything for a reason. In my case, the death of my grandfather gave me a better understanding of life. It helped me put my life in perspective and see what was important. It was very hard on both my family and me, but God comforted me. Though there was great reason to be sad, He showed me reason to be happy. I realized that though I lost someone very close and dear to me, God has given me so much that I do not deserve. I have a nice house to live in; I have food and water when I need it, I have all the clothing and shelter I need. He’s also blessed me with a great family and amazing friends. I may not be rich when it comes to money, but in the end what is money worth? I have health, family, peace, LOVE, things that are there and always will be. In that sense, I am one of the richest people in the world, and I thank God for that. After realizing all that, my life has only gotten better. God is amazing and has given us so much that we’ve done nothing to deserve. So when faced with trials and tribulations don’t give up but believe that the Lord will see you through it and its there for a reason. And also to not only look at the negatives, but look at the things God has blessed you with in your life, and the fruits that will come out of the pain and sadness. Through Hadi’s life, and through her death, God is and will change lives. Romans chapter 5 says: 1 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

To the Floras,
God may have taken an amazing person from us, but I know everyone that knew her is thankful for letting her be in our lives. I didn’t personally know her, but from what I’ve heard, it seems that if God placed angels on this earth to give us a taste of heaven, Hadi was one of them. She was a Godly girl and we know she is in heaven rejoicing with her fellow angles right now. Everything may not be the same without her, but heaven has become a much better place with her. I believe that Hadi’s death has opened many people’s eyes and is showing them what is important. She touched so many lives while she was here, and though she is gone, she is still changing and impacting lives. You are all in our prayers. Lucas, if you ever need anything you can call me man.
In Christ,
Joshua Boyd

Dreaming of Reality

2006-10-04T12:21:00.000-05:00

Gladly
Dreams are the escape from reality
The only place where perfection exist
Dreams are the place where I am truly happy
The only place my smile is real
Dreams are where nothing is wrong
The only place I do things how I should

Sadly
Reality is that dreams don't come true
I can only try to live up to them
Reality is that I'll never accomplish my dreams
I can only use them as goals to strive for
Reality is that things aren't as they seem
I can only put on the mask and hide

Madly
Dreams lift me to mountains
Reality lowers me to the graves
Dreams tell me I can save the world
Reality scolds me as I save one
Dreams give me a reason to live
Reality takes away all hope

Badly
For once I want a dream to be real
Because I don't think I can hold on
For once I need my heart to be satisfied
Because I can't live always unfulfilled
For once I want my dreams to be real
Because I wake up and each time it's death again

My mind can't go on like this
I'm suffocating every time I think
My body is unable to take the pressure
I'm drowning whenever I move
My heart can no longer take the pain
I'm dying whenever I feel

When I dream I'm alive
When I wake to reality I die

I'm dying

666

2006-10-04T12:19:00.000-05:00

ok i'm really sick of all this crap about 666, people are talking about it yet they don't know what it really means. it doesn't represent the end of the world or people dying. i'm also going to talk about a bulletin that is going around.ok i guess i should start by just giving u what the bible says. in the last book of the bible, revelation, it talks about the end of everything, and the start of Gods kingdom. All those that believe in God and Christ (who was God in the flesh) will be taken up into heaven, those that do not believe, will be left on the earth to be judged. during this time a new ruler will arise. what many will see as their "savior". but really he is the devil in the flesh (or in human form), the bible calls him the antichrist (opposite or against christ). now here is where 666 comes in. this is from revelation chapter 13:16 He also forced everyone, small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on his right hand or on his forehead, 17 so that no one could buy or sell unless he had the mark, which is the name of the beast or the number of his name. 18 This calls for wisdom. If anyone has insight, let him calculate the number of the beast, for it is man's number. His number is 666. from these verses we can see that 666 is not the day the devil is coming, it is not the day for the end of the world, it doesn't represent a day or month or year at all. it is a symbol. a symbol for sin and evil. it's like how 7 is a symbol for perfection ,also known as God's number. 666 represents evil, which is of course associated with the devil. the numbers are symbols. just like 2 fingers up is a symbol for peace. oh my gosh maybe on feburary 2nd 2022 (2/2/22) the world will be at peace...according to the verse, 666 is used more as an ID to show loyalty to the new leader (the antichrist). in these times, you can't buy or sell anything unless u have this number on you, and u only get this number if u swear loyalty to the devil himself.so what does this day, the 6th month, the 6th day, in 2006 mean? absolutly nothing. it's not a day where more people are going to die or that the devil is going to come. it's not a day of extra evil, or demons and evil spirits coming out to play. it's another beautiful day that we owe to God, just like yesterday, just like tomorrow, just like everyday until the end of time.i know many things will happen on this day, but only because of man thinking it's supposed to happen, or making it happen themselves. it's not God or the devil, but mans evil nature alone that can make this day a bad or evil one.ok now about the bulletin. here is what it saysMost people think that on 6-6-06 we are all going to die because 666 is known to be the devil's number. But, if you really believe in God you will re-post this, and if you don't you will die because that shows that you believe the devil will kill us all. Re-post this as 6-6-06. Remember, the devil is watching you.. waiting to just.. you know what if you don't re-postgeez. i'm sick of bulletins saying if u believe in God u should do this or that. or that if u don't repost this u don't believe in him. i really don't think God cares about what u post on your myspace. it doens't matter what u post, it doesn't change who u are or what you believe. so if you're not ashamed of God don't be like ooo i'll just post this bulletin. 2 things, first off, if you have to change the name of your bulletin to "trick" people into opening your bulletin, what does that mean? u should be able to just say hey this is about God in the subject line. unless, you're too ashamed to actually show someone that you are posting something about God. 2nd, if you love God, live your life for him, you can say u believe in him and love him, u can post a million bulletins, but that doens't mean a thing unless you're living your life for him and trying to be an example of him and Christ.

Hot or Cold?

2006-10-04T12:18:00.000-05:00

just a little intro so u know whats going on. this was something i posted on a blog my friend had. it was alot about questions about God and the orgins of life and just different things from homosexuals to being left handed lol. but yeah this was just something that was on my mind and i thought it might fit well in there. soo please enjoy............

Some people may not like to see people post that don't care for God or what the bible says and such. but personally i'm happy they are. and i'm more glad they are than some people that are saying there is a God. the bible says in revelation 3:15-16 that " I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth." This means that God Himself would rather you be all for him or all against him. there are too many hypocrites out there. I'm not going to say that i am not one at times, but some people are ridiculous. You say you are a christian and believe all of these things in the bible. but where is that when you are at school? 1 second u say yes i'm a christian, gay is bad and all that stuff, yet the next you swear and sin and not even care.God would rather you just be one way. try to live all for him, or against him. some people just say it because they think it gets them into heaven, but if you believe in the bible than thats not true. it's a relationship with God. and it's not just o i sinned God forgive me,so it's ok every time you sin. it's just like every relationship in your life, it involves constant communication. if you are only someones bf or gf one day of the week are you really their bf/gf??? the answer is no. so people don't tell me you are a christian unless you are trying to live for and with him daily.
to all of you who don't belive in God or are just agnostic, i respect you a great deal more than everyone out there that is saying all of this stuff for God here, but once i see them at school act like God isn't even part of their life.
again i'm not saying that you should never sin and such and will never not seem like you aren't following God. it's part of being human, we fail sometimes. all i'm trying to say is either TRY to live for him and be an example constantly, or just do whatever you want and stop saying you are a christian.
o one small fact, in many surveys, the reason many people aren't christian, is because they see all of these people that say they are christians and notice they are either no different than them, or worse.
In Christ, Josh

Ebonics Lessons

2006-10-04T12:14:00.000-05:00

First off, i'd like to let you guys know that the point of these lessons is not just for laughs, but to let people know about being black and how interesting it is. (it's fun watching preppy white guys coughMIKEcoughJOHNSONcough try to pretend they are "black")(oops was that too obvious). actually i'm kidding this is mostly for laughs. and because i am tired and think oddly at late hours. please enjoy.

EBONIC LESSONS
1.fo shizzle dizzle thats off the hizzle. deezy skeezy. translation for white people: for sure dude that is off the hook. dern skippy

2. don't hate or laugh because black people use lotion. and don't laugh more because we use the cool kind with cocoa butter and extra vitamin E. without lotion, our skin gets dry and turns white. Michael jackson didn't use lotion

3. Every summer i get asked the same questions: do black people get sunburn? do black people tan? and if so can/do you mystic tan?
the answer is no. we do not sunburn. we do not peel. we obviously don't turn red. this does not mean that sitting in the sun for too long does not hurt, but once in the shade it's all good (like kool-aid).
we get darker in the sun. sadly it can't mess with our hair color (though i am thinking of dying it blond just to see how it looks).mystic tan?? i would like to say no, because i have never seen an orange black person before (nor do i want to). we'd probably look like oompa loompas (wait that might actually be kind of cool) (change of mind: new hair color will be green).

Amazing Grace

2006-10-04T12:09:00.000-05:00

She was finishing up her rounds, as she does every night she works at the children's hospital. Checking on all her patients to make sure everything is alright. Some of the children she cares for are only in for the night with little aches and pains, but there are a few that are destined to die.
Her name is Annie. She's been going through many hard times, her parents have divorced, and her long time boyfriend has just cheated on and broke up with her. Living isn't her favorite thing lately; everything seems to be going wrong. As she is thinking about these things, Annie comes to room 210.
It's the last room of the night and she is ready to leave until she hears the noise of the patient singing. She's been to church enough to recognize "Amazing Grace" but decides to ask anyway. "Is that 'Amazing Grace'?" The boy gives a small nod and continued on with his song. "He must not know what he's singing" Annie thought to herself. You see this boy was a cancer patient and, just that morning, his parents were told he wasn't going to make it. She wondered how he could be singing such a song when he is losing his life.
"Are you ok?" asked the boy "you look like something is bugging you." She replies "I'm ok, but I have to ask you something." It was a hard question for her to ask, but she knew that it was now or never. "I've been watching you these last few days, and I've noticed you're different then the other kids. You always seem to be happy, even though you have every reason not to be. You act like you have all the riches in the world; but we all know your fate. I was just wondering, why?" The young boy smiled at her and said, "The reason I seem so happy, the reason I can still smile, is because of the amazing grace that God has given me." Annie tried to hide her puzzled look but the boy saw it. "I know I'm young, but I'm not perfect. I swore once, and then this one time I lied to my mom about eating the last piece of cake. I've sinned a whole lot. God doesn't like sin, but for some reason he has still let me go on. I don't deserve it at all." Annie's eyes started to water as she replied "I still don't understand, how can you keep on being so cheerful when you're dieing, losing everything." To this the boy said "Amazing grace. I think that really it's what I deserve for not living my whole life for God. But he has let me have a great life, a great family, a dog. I've traveled to 4 whole states; have a house and a really awesome bike. What have I done to deserve all that great stuff?" By this time, Annie was moved to tears as she looked at how ungrateful she has been. The boy continued to tell of his joys. "I'm always happy because every breath I take is one more than I deserve. Every morning I wake up is another gift from God. Every time my mommy and daddy and little sister walk through that door it's another thing I haven't done anything to deserve. Some people don't get to see their parents, some kids don't even get a bicycle or all the cookies my grandma makes me; and some of them are living more for God than I ever have. So the reason I smile, the reason I wake up every morning with joy in my eyes, is because of the amazing grace I've done nothing to deserve." Annie couldn't say anything but "Thank you". The boy replied, "Don't thank me, thank God."
Annie and the boy talked for awhile longer that night and for the next few days after that. They became the closest of friends and were inseparable. One day, Annie came to visit even though she wasn't working. She walked into the room and started talking about how he's been. She didn't get a response and she ran over to the bed. She didn't have to look at the machines to know what happened. But through her tears she knew exactly what he would have wanted her to say, "thank you God". The boy died the night before, a smile still on his face.

They Say

2006-10-04T12:05:00.000-05:00

They say love is the greatest thing that can happen to someone
It’s true,

They say love can lift you to the highest mountain top
It can take you to places you’ve never been

They say love can make you do things you never thought you’d do
It can make your dreams come true

They say it can give you the strength of ten men
It can give you the determination to do anything

They say it can make you the happiest person alive
It can change anyone and make them be the greatest they can be

And you know what,
They were right

What they didn't tell you

Is that it can also be the complete opposite

1 Corinthians 13: 4-8
4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never fails

Trials and Tribulations

2006-10-04T12:01:00.000-05:00

this is something i wrote back in 2003

Trials and Tribulations
Throughout my life, God has put me through many trials. Through trials, many people have given up on God and said things like ‘how could he do this to me’ or ‘how could he take this from me’. One of the things I have learned in my life is that “The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away” which is said in Job 1:21. I also believe that the Lord does this for a reason. In Jobs case, he was put through what were probably the worst things someone could go through, but he trusted in God and in the end God gave him double of what he started with. I know that we may not get everything back that we may have lost, but the Lord does everything for a reason. In my case, the death of my grandfather gave me a better understanding of life. It was very hard on both my family and me, but God comforted me. Though there was great reason to be sad, He showed me reason to be happy. I realized that though I lost someone very close and dear to me, God has given me so much that I do not deserve. I have a nice house to live in; I have food and water when I need it, and I have all the clothing I need. He’s also blessed me with a great family and amazing friends. After realizing all that, my life has only gotten better. God is amazing and has given us so much that we’ve done nothing to deserve. So my advice is that when faced with trials and tribulations don’t give up but believe that the Lord will see u through it and its there for a reason. And also to not only look at the bad part of the problem, but look at the things God has blessed you with in your life. Romans chapter 5 says: 1 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Trust in the Lord

2006-10-04T11:59:00.000-05:00

When times are hard and things are falling apart
Don’t listen to what’s in your head, listen to your heart

In our head is the way that won’t stand
For in our mind is the way of man

In our heart is the way that is right
For it was put there by the God who created day and night

Where were we when the world began?
Where were we when stars of the sky first shone over the land?

Was it man who brought the universe into existence through nothing but words?
Was it man that spoke into existence everything from water to birds?

Was it man who made the earth revolve around the sun?
Or was it the God who gave his only begotten son?

Can a man forgive and eternally cleanse ones sins?
Or is it the God who made the universe begin?

The way of man leads to downfall and is unsure
The way of God is perfect, tough but pure

The wisdom of man is a wisdom that won’t last
God’s wisdom is one ever present, future, and past

Man’s way brings happiness, but only for a time
God’s way is everlasting happiness, and peace of mind

Don’t live by your wisdom when you are put to the test
Live by what you know in your heart is right, for that is best

Though mans way may be easier still
And God's like a path uphill
When you reach the top though, there is something more
There is a new strength, a new happiness, and a new hope in store

Man’s way will fail, through and through
But through God’s way, we will make our dreams come true

When everything seems to be falling apart
Listen to where God resides; and that’s in your heart.

Proverbs 3:5-8
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your path. Do not be wise in your own eyes, fear the Lord and depart from evil. It will be health to your flesh, and strength to your bones.

Don't Wait

2006-10-04T11:58:00.000-05:00

you're here one day, and the next you're gone
don't wait to live out your dreams
don't wait to accomplish your goals
don't wait to let them know you love them
don't wait to forgive
don't wait to do whats right
don't wait until tomorrow, it may never come
you're here one day and you're gone the next
don't make the same mistake i did

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