Thoughts of a Father

Let's try this again

2010-02-06T16:00:00.000-08:00

My last post was in July of last year? Too long. As I looked back on my posts, it basically became a blog about me and my photography. Not fitting with the title. So I'm starting another blog dedicated to photography and this one will reflect more on what it originally was intended to do.

When the photography blog is up and running I'll post the site.

Here I Am

2009-07-17T23:49:00.000-07:00

From almost daily posts a year ago to nothing for the last 4 months. Geesh. I'm a slacker. So I'm not even sure if anyone will read this now but here it goes.

I had quite the busy school year. Going back to the classroom really kicked me in the tail. It was hard yet quite rewarding. I had a great group of kids that really challenged me to challenge them. I'm not just saying that because I know some of them found my blog and read this. So between being a classroom teacher again and trying to get the photography business off the ground, blogging suffered. As I told a friend of mine, my creative output is through photography so I didn't really miss writing that much. I have missed reading the blogs of my blogging friends though. Facebook has been good for keeping in touch with some though.

Seeing as how this blog is called Thoughts of a Father, I'd like to write in that direction. We just passed the 2 year mark since we got Lily. TWO YEARS! I can hardly believe it. I look back at those pictures and marvel. It has flown by and yet it seems she's always been with us. She amazes Julianne and I constantly. We just sit there and listen to her talk and talk. And talk. And talk. It's our own fault. We talk to her too much and we don't use baby talk. She has incredible vocabulary. And when she runs out of words she knows, she makes them up as she goes. She made up one at lunch yesterday. Well, she thought she was making it up. We were having lunch with my mom and out came the F bomb in the midst of a sentence. We all kind of stared at each other and said, "WHAT" to her. So of course she repeated it in a sentence that made no sense at all. I looked at my mom and said, "We leave her alone with you for a few hours and we come back and my daughter is talking like a truck driver! What did you do to her?" Yes, our Lily keeps us in stitches.

And what would my blog be without pictures. Here are a few I took just a few days past. We had fun.

If anyone is still here reading, thanks for coming back. :)

My March Post

2009-03-04T20:11:00.000-08:00

I missed all of February. From blogging almost everyday back in the summer to almost nothing. So instead of saying I'll try to post more and visit all the blogs I've been missing, I'll just put up a post and see what happens from here.

Life remains busy. Do you ever get the feeling that rather than doing a few things well, you are doing a whole bunch of things not so well? Being back in the classroom continues to challenge me but I feel I'm meeting the those challenges. My photography business is slowly growing. I have had one paid assignment and have been doing numerous "trade" jobs. Models wanting to build their portfolios contract with me so I can do the same. No money changes hands but we both end up with images for our portfolios. This has been great experience but the whole point (well a big part of it) of this is to build income.

Julianne and Lily are wonderful. Lily is completely off the prednisone (since January) and is doing great. Julianne is doing wonders with her. I come home and am amazed at Lily's vocabulary. I've always said it's amazing what kids can do when you talk to them. She had us crying with laughter tonight at dinner. She loves to change the words to songs to make them silly because she knows she get a rise out of us. I'll leave you with some recent pictures of Lily and some of my recent photography work.

Lily and my mom

Catching Up

2009-01-25T21:56:00.000-08:00

For starters, thank you so much to all of you that commented on my last post. You gave some great suggestions which I'll implement soon. I think for the time being the music is staying though and people can use the button on the bottom to turn it off. Many of the other suggestions were great and I'm looking forward to implementing them soon.

I've had the pleasure of continuing to do some photo shoots. Instead of posting those pictures here I'll just have you click this link to see them. Instead, I'll post some pictures of what we've been up to lately.

We recently took another trip to the Reagan Library. Each year they have Christmas trees from around the world and Lily just LOVES Christmas trees. She enjoyed the trees but mostly had a good time running around like a crazy child.

Move over Obama, make way for President Lily

Outside the Reagan Library, Lily needed to ruuuunnnnn some more!

A gorgeous sunset from the Reagan Library

We also had the opportunity to go to the snow. Well actually the snow came to us. A park in Calabasas imported 35 tons of snow for sledding and playing. They picked one of the warmest days to do this. It must have been in the 80s that day. Anyhow, Lily had fun and even built a mini snowman with Mommy. She was quite uncooperative when it came time for pictures though. When we looked at the pictures later I asked her why she didn't look at Daddy. She replied, "I was being a Grumpy Grace." So cute!

Fun in the snow

Lily and her snowman

I think I'll go put this on Daddy's face

Brrrrrrrrrr

I'm still here

2008-12-06T16:55:00.000-08:00

It has been a while, I know. I've hardly visited any blogs and obviously have not posted much lately. I just got through parent conferences/ report cards this week which, in other words means, I've been swamped. I did have the opportunity to set up my studio equipment in the living room last weekend to shoot the picture that will accompany our Christmas card this year. I won't disclose that one yet but here are a few others from that session. Assuming I have not lost all my readers, I hope you all are well and getting ready for the holiday season.

Deck the Halls (a bit early, I know)

2008-11-23T10:11:00.000-08:00

Lily has been so excited about Christmas this year. More specifically, Christmas trees. When we go to the stores, she always wants to see Christmas trees. And since they've been in the stores since what, August, she's seen LOTS of Christmas trees. We usually decorate after Thanksgiving but since it's late this year, we decided to get things going early this year. Here are some pictures of the event.

Melt My Heart

2008-11-10T17:28:00.000-08:00

To say the last couple of weeks have been hard would be an understatement. Assuming most of you also read Julianne's blog, I had not mentioned Lily's diagnosis of Nephrotic Syndrome. She is doing much much better. Unfortunately, the treatment is for her to be on the steroid Prednisolone. One of the side effects is mood swings. Mood swings is a rather mild term for what we've seen. Lily can go from laughing hysterically to crying fits and borderline tantrums at the drop of a hat. When these mood swings hit, without warning, I'm the last person Lily usually wants to see. Let me correct that. During such times, Mommy is the only person Lily wants to see; even though the crying doesn't always cease right away.

Having said that let me fast forward to today. When I got home from work Lily was in a wonderful mood. We played and played together. Then she ran to Julianne and told her, "I love Daddy." Gulp. She later repeated it again. Bigger gulp. But when she came up to me unprovoked and looked up at me and said, "I love you, Daddy" she melted my heart. She put her cheek against my hand as I asked her for a hug. She contemplated my request and stated, matter of factly, "Sure. Why not." as she proceeded to give me a hug AND a kiss. Big big big gulp.

I know the mood swings will return, but I'm loving today.

*********
UPDATE
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Five minutes later: Lily attempts to take a swipe at Daddy at the onset of another meltdown. She is currently balling in the corner on a time out while I await my apology.

Our Lilybug has Big News

2008-11-01T12:23:00.000-07:00

All dressed up for Halloween, our little Lilybug had some big news today. She announced to Mommy that she had to go pee pee. We have been telling her for weeks that if she goes pee pee in the potty that she'll get some M&M's (which have been waiting in a bowl in the bathroom for just such an occasion). Well, today was the big day. She was so proud of herself. And sooooo excited to get her M&M's! Our little girl is growing up!

Saying Goodbye

2008-10-26T14:47:00.000-07:00

I got an email from a friend of mine earlier this week that a childhood friend of ours, Stuart, had died a few days prior. In the email was a copy of the very brief obituary. But the part I kept reading over and over, was that Stuart was dead at age 42. We were friends since elementary school. We got to be very good friends in jr. high and high school. He had a charisma about him that drew people to him. After high school we took very different paths and we eventually lost regular contact. He had a very tough time in his late teens and early 20's. After some serious setbacks in his life, he seemed to really turn things around for the better. We last talked about 8 years ago. He was the proudest of fathers. I was very happy for him. We soon lost contact again. Although it is still speculative, it seems he may have continued struggling with some of his previous demons. I recently talked to an old friend about him and regret not asking for his contact information. He's someone I figured I'd always catch up with from time to time. I'm sad at his loss and will miss my old friend.

Stuart (on the left) with Mike and Darrel on the day of our 6th grade culmination. June 1978

A friend forwarded me a more recent picture of Stuart from his myspace page.

Go Dodgers

2008-10-13T21:35:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately the Dodgers couldn't hear Lily rooting them on. Otherwise I'm sure they would have won tonight.

Around the Breakfast Table

2008-10-11T09:18:00.001-07:00

Just a few minutes ago:

Me: Lily, can you count to ten for Daddy?

Lily: One, two, three, four, seven, eight, nine, ten.

(Background info - Lily usually says all the numbers except seven)

Mommy: You skipped five and six this time. Try again.

Lily: One, two, three, four, five, six, eight, nine, ten.

Mommy: What happened to seven, Lily?

Lily: I don't know!!!

Us: hysterical laughing

Another Great Day Off

2008-10-09T22:11:00.000-07:00

School was closed today so we had a great family day together. I got to go to Lily's gymnastics class for the first time. For day's now she's been saying, "Daddy come 'nastics." She had lots of fun running and jumping and swinging. We then visited the public library. From there we went to a park out in the Thousand Oaks/Oak Park area. There Lily got to go down the slide, ride a see-saw, and go on the swings. I think the swing was her favorite because she did not want to get off when it was time to leave. The picture above confirms how much she enjoyed the swing. Doesn't she look cool in her shades?

Calm in Chaos

2008-10-07T21:27:00.000-07:00

Perhaps a bit dramatic of a title but I'm finding images like this to be relaxing during a stressful transition. When I was a kid I had no idea teachers worked as hard as we do. I still enjoy it, but my gosh is it busy.

The Wonders of Editing

2008-10-06T21:17:00.000-07:00

I had some free time on Sunday and decided to run out to shoot some pictures. I know, surprise surprise. I had no idea what to shoot and just drove around hoping to feel inspired somehow. It never happened and I ended up in a spot I've been several times on the same mission. I came home feeling like I got nothing good and was tempted to delete my memory card without loading a single image into the computer. The first image below looked dull, flat, and blown out on the camera back. Loaded into the computer it looked the same, only bigger. So I tried pushing the colors a bit which helped. Then I wondered how the sunflare would look in black and white. I really like how it came out. I'm glad I didn't dump it after all. Following are a few others I felt came out at least half-way decently.

Rainy Day

2008-10-04T17:54:00.000-07:00

It's raining today. I had originally planned on getting out and shooting some pictures. Julianne is over a friends house and I'm home with Lily. In my last post I asked for suggestions for what I should shoot next. Robin suggested the neighborhood so she could see where I live. Christy suggested macro shots. Since it's raining, I did go outside but not into the neighborhood. I figured showing things in the backyard qualifies for showing where I live. And I did have my macro lens on.

I immediately headed for the morning glories which were delicately sprinkled with water.

Then I noticed the leaves and the detail inside the reflection of the droplets.

How I didn't walk into this I don't know. I barely caught a glimpse of it spread out completely across the new section of lawn in our side yard. You really should click on the image below to see it larger.

It's creator was not readily in sight until I saw her escaping toward the patio cover.

Not too bad for a rainy day at home. :)

Final "Day Off" Pictures

2008-10-03T06:17:00.000-07:00

Have I dragged these pictures out far enough? This is what happens when one doesn't get as many opportunities to shoot. I'm saving the best (in my opinion) Lily picture for Julianne to post on her blog. Hopefully I'll get a little time tomorrow to replenish the empty vault of unposted images. I have no idea what I'll go shoot. Any suggestions?

Rest

2008-10-01T22:00:00.000-07:00

I spent a day at training today. Hopefully all went well with the substitute in my classroom today. I'm hoping that no news is good news. It was really nice to be done when the clock said we were done. No books to bring home. No extra hours of planning. In fact it was so nice I think I'll do it again for the next two days. Gotta love a three day training after a day off. :)

I couldn't decide which version to post so you get both. I love the bold color in the top one even though the background is blown out. But I also love how the almost complete lack of color emphasizes the patterns and the detail.

Finally, More Pictures

2008-09-30T23:10:00.000-07:00

No posts in a week. Obviously things are still busy. But today was a day off work so I HAD to bring my camera anywhere we were going to go. First we went to Lily's music class which provided a good opportunity to shoot. I got quite a few of her having fun. But I opted not to take pictures of her during her brief meltdown. Everyone got up and marched around in a circle in the room. Lily demanded to be picked up and when it didn't happen soon enough, the flood gates opened.

Next we took a trip back to Underwood Family Farms to see animals, flowers, and pumpkins. Since life is still quite busy, rather than dumping all my pictures into one post as I usually do, I'm going to spread them out a bit. Who knows when I'll get the chance to shoot again. And I also end up posting all the good shots here before Julianne gets a chance to post them on her blog. So for today you get one from music class and one from the farm.

Those of you that are here from the Wordless Wednesday link, sorry, I'm NEVER wordless when it comes to my pictures. :)

Too Busy

2008-09-22T21:59:00.000-07:00

Life has been busy. Work is kicking me in the behind. I'm enjoying being back in the class, but geeeesh is it a lot of work. Tomorrow night is back to school night and I'll get to meet many of the parents. I always look forward to this. It's an informal gathering where we look at the curriculum, talk about expectations, homework policy, etc. But it's also a chance for parents to size me up so I hope I make a good impression. I think most parents care about two things from a teacher: 1) that the teacher knows what he/she is doing; and 2) that the teacher cares about the students. I'm pretty confident I'll pass both of these tests. Although not quite as organized as I'd like, I do have a pretty good grasp on what I'm doing. And I think it's obvious that I care about the kids.

I apologize for not visiting my regulars in a while. I hope as I get settled into the semester I can spend more time seeing what everyone has been posting. I have not had much time to shoot lately so here's one from the archives that I don't think I've had the opportunity to post previously.

Fun n' Games

2008-09-15T21:35:00.000-07:00

Lily and I have this game. I pretend to be asleep. She gets right up in my face and yells, "DADDY!!!" I act startled and tell her she scared me. She laughs. Repeat 20 times and you get the idea of how this game goes. Well just recently she decided to be the recipient. Here she is in the living room pretending to be asleep on her giant Elmo pillow. This time it only repeated twice. She prefers the role of the scarer rather than the scared.

Spared

2008-09-14T22:25:00.000-07:00

When I'm not hosting photo projects with participants from all over the globe, I live a pretty simple life. By choice. We spend lots of time at home which we enjoy. Yesterday found me out back doing yard work. I trimmed the tree line on our back fence. While cutting the downed branches into smaller pieces, I found several praying mantises scurrying to avoid a trip to the green recycling bin. I individually gathered them onto small branches and returned them to the remaining tree limbs still intact. One of them decided to thank my by offering to pose for me. Off I ran inside the house to get my camera and macro lens. Here's a sample of our brief photoshoot.

Show Me...YOU!

2008-09-13T00:01:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Day 7 - Show me...YOU!

As previously stated this would entail "a self portrait; your hands; your feet (I know some of you will be all over this one!); a shielded view of you; any way you want to portray yourself will work here."

Once again I had no idea what I'd do for this one. As a photographer, I am so much more comfortable behind the camera rather than in front. So this is one of the last things I thought I'd shoot and post. But I'm doing it for a reason. Not vanity, that's for sure. As I'm getting closer and closer to being ready to get my photography business off the ground I recently invested in studio lighting equipment. That along with the idea for this post gave me an opportunity to take these pictures. I'm including a wide view so you can see the lights and how I set them up. Take note of the bath towel hanging on the entertainment center! I still have to order my backdrop and support. Then I'll be ready for clients and income.

I can't believe this is the last day of this project. I want to thank each and every participant. I also thank all the visitors to my site and to the sites of those who participated. It's been great fun. I hope you all enjoyed it and felt at least a little bit challenged.

Show Me...something that relaxes you

2008-09-12T00:01:00.000-07:00

Many possibilities came to mind. Family. Vacations. Photography. Exercise. But something lead me to go in a different direction. Music. I love music, as most people would agree. I grew up on 70's rock. Many people are shocked to learn my all time favorite group is Led Zeppelin. But I hardly listen to them these days. I still LOVE the music. Lyrically I have some issues. Fortunately I have no idea what they're singing about in many of the songs. These days I tend to mostly listen to contemporary Christian music. Usually we have our MP3 player shuffling through our catalog of Christian selections as seen below. Or sometimes Julianne's mix of country music.

I rarely play my guitar these days. It's set up on its stand about a yard to my right. Lily likes to come in and strum it. Funny how just seeing it there is relaxing to me.

Come back tomorrow (the last day) to Show Me...YOU. (e.g. a self portrait; your hands; your feet (I know some of you will be all over this one!); a shielded view of you; any way you want to portray yourself will work here)! For all the details from the week, click here.

Show Me...A View...

2008-09-11T00:01:00.000-07:00

So many of you dug deep for yesterday's post. The pictures were great but I really enjoyed reading the stories behind the pictures. We're in the home stretch here. I love that so many of you have been participating the whole way through.

Day 5 - Show Me...your favorite view from anywhere in your home

This was easy. Easy to think of. I was a little worried capturing the image for obvious reasons. Taken just a few hours ago, this is a view that just melts my heart. Our routine at bedtime usually has Julianne holding Lily as we say our prayers. Julianne was at choir tonight so it was just Lily and me. We said our prayers, we gave kisses, and then she hugged me. But this time she hugged me with her face on my left and then gave a second, unexpected hug, on my right. Delightfully I exclaimed, "Oh I get a hug on both sides tonight!" She looked at me and repeated, "Both sides" with the biggest smile. I told her I loved her and without me asking, her eyes caught mine as she said, "I love you, Daddy."

Sleep well baby girl.

Come back tomorrow to Show Me...something that is relaxing to you! For all the details for tomorrow and the rest of the week, click here.

Show Me...An Object of Sentimental Value

2008-09-10T00:01:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Day 4 of my Show Me...Project. Today, for some of us might get personal. This is where the story behind the object can really make the photograph take on new meaning. That's certainly true in my case.

Below you see an audio cassette. More specifically, an audio cassette from an old telephone answering machine. I've kept this in my nightstand drawer for 19 years now. From home to home, nightstand to nightstand, it's been there. I have not listened to it in at least 15 years I'd say. Contained on this tape are what were most likely my father's last words. I can't bring myself to listen to it again. But I can't, nor do I want to, get rid of it. It's a short message, and I remember it as clearly today as when it was received on June 2, 1989. The only temptation to listen to it is to hear his voice again. I wish I had other recordings besides this. What visually appears to be a dull and obsolete object is my chosen object of sentiment. I long for the day I'll hear his voice again.

Follow the label "My Father" below to read more about and see pictures of him.

The accompanying song today is Finally Home by MercyMe. It goes perfectly with this post I think.

Come back tomorrow to Show me...your favorite view from anywhere in your home! For all the details for tomorrow and the rest of the week, click here.