Thoughts Of A Mom

Living with asthma.

2011-03-02T09:10:00.000+08:00

My nose totally can't be used for breathing last night nor this morning, been breathing through my mouth! Been coughing so much it is making my chest hurt each time I cough. Can hear mild wheezing with each deep breath I take!

This is the time when I really wish I had my mummy here to "manjakan" me like she used too when I was very young and got the flu, cough and asthma.

Come to think of it, Aunty May (this special lady looked after me and my siblings from the time we were very small right up to now! She's 90 yrs old now) used to manjakan me too when I was sick. I remember she used to buy for me warm coca-cola and let me drink while I lay in bed, struggling to breath and my sister and brother would play near by.

It never bothered me that they enjoyed playing while I was sick, It was entertaining just watching them. I remember I would watch them when I was awake and it was enough, then I'd just close my eyes as it was every tiring just being awake. I do remember thinking all my wheezing noises would keep the whole house from sleeping at night and felt very bad about it. The wheezing noise I made whenever I took a breath was very loud. My younger brother (he was like 5yrs old then) used to say I got music inside!

I had very bad asthma attacks from a very young age. My 1st memories of being sick was even before I was in school. It was around Christmas time, We lived in 'Kampung Pasir' (the direct English translation for that would be "Village Sand" ) then, I remember this Uncle Jack from the Portuguese settlement in Malacca came to Visit and he loved kids and was very good with kids and we kids loved him! He bought Ice cream for all the kids, but I was stuck in bed, too weak to get out and play, because of asthma, and since I couldn't eat ice cream, he brought for me a balloon and I was happy with that. I remember clearly the noise the kids were making when they played outside the fun they had and all I did was lie in bed propped up with tons of pillows and cushions to keep me in a slightly sitting position (I can't be flat on my back as it was very difficult to breath) and sleep, too weak to even want to go play and join in the fun.

I can remember my mom checking on me, she used to run her hand over my forehead to check for fever and then she'll rub my chest and back with 'vicks vapor rub' this always made me feel so good. Nowadays I do this for my daughter when ever she gets sick. I also remember My dear Aunty May doing this for me too every time I was sick when my mom wasn't around. Aunty May would sit by my side once her work was done and pat me to sleep, even though I was by then about 8 years old or even 9yrs old.

One incident I won't be forgetting, happened when I was 16yrs old. I got sick and it developed into a bad asthma attack. It got so bad we had to get my cousin James to take me to the doctor as he was the only one we knew who had a car then. It was so difficult as we had to walk along the railway track for about 100 meters to the car and I had my sister on one side, my brother on another side and I was so weak that I practically fainted on the track. My brother had to run to my cousin's house to get help to carry me. It took 4 of them my cousins James and Sylvester, my brother and my sister to help me up and walk to the car. I bet they wouldn't have forgotten that either!

In adulthood the attacks has been more manageable as I am stronger and know what to do. I still get very weak, very very tired as when my lungs swell (as in the case of an asthma attack), I get less air in. I take precautions now and will get myself to a doctor before it gets worse.

Being an adult though, means there is no one to give me the cuddles, pats back rubs and chest rubs like the ones I got when I was little.

Now I'm sick again and looks like another bad one coming on (hopefully it's not that bad) but being here alone with a child to take care of as well as work to do, I terribly miss my mummy caring for me, and even though Aunty May is still around she's very old now and she's occupied with "manja ing" our kids.

And so I've come to the end of my reminiscing.

My gift: an angel from God

2011-02-23T12:14:00.002+08:00

God sent me this little angel. For me to care for on earth.
She has no idea how much happiness she brings into my life.
She brightens up my days and my nights.
Her very existence gave me the will to live when my world was at it’s darkest.
Her face, it is perfect, she's sweet, beautiful, soft and pure. Her light shines with purity and innocents form within her soul. Sometimes she can be willful, stubborn and mischievous yet she is also demure, kind, caring and loving. She tries her very hardest to please and to do what's right.
She gives the greatest hugs from morning until night.
Every person that has known her sees this light within her soul
In this whole wide world, I feel she has a special role. She's helpful and considerate to everyone she knows.
This light in her shines brighter as my angel grows.
When she sees someone is sad, she feels sad and wants to do all she can to change that sadness to gladness. She'll squeeze away the sorrow with her hugs and ease the pain in my heart.
I believe God has Blessed me when I saw my angel's face. From the moment she came into my world, I knew that she was so much more than just my baby girl.
She is my morning sunshine, she’s my clear blue sky, she’s my angel on earth. My life will never be the same nor will it have been any better, for my darling little angel.

I pray My God, protect my little angel and Bless her always, Amen.

Good Bye My Dearest Friend, Tequila

2011-02-07T21:24:00.000+08:00

I had to put my Tequila down last Friday, the 4th Feb 2011. I had no choice.

I couldn't bring my self to remember him or think about him being gone these few days but coming home last nite and there was only silence no more hearing him bark in welcome, it was so final. I'll never see him again and I need to say good bye.

Tequila my dear bunny baby, I love you. You had aged and I know you weren't happy anymore. You had almost lost all your hearing, and i think your sight was going too, you couldn't go roaming freely like you used to. You couldn't walk anymore and I was not able to care anymore for you my baby boy.

This time, my honey bunny you didn't bounce back. I wished I had more time and energy to have had cared for you better in your old age, my dear friend.

For you were much more then just a dog, or a friend, you were part of my life and my family for 16years. It was good years, we had, you and Dancer were little (fat and pampered) angels that we loved dearly to some people's annoyance :) we know.

My one regret was in forgetting how much you hated injections. I'm terribly sorry that you had to go through that pain in your last moments, I can only hope that my holding you through it gave you a bit of comfort and that hopefully it made the pain a little less terrible for you my dear boy.

I comfort myself with the thought that you are no longer suffering in this world but that you are happy now where you are with your dear brother Dancer. I know you missed him in the 2 years that he went on 1st and left you behind.

I'll remember the good days we had, I'll not forget what good company you were to me when my days were dark and lonely. I won't forget the security you gave me. You will always be in my heart. My beloved Tequila 25th Dec 1995 to 4th Feb 2011.

Below was a poem I found which seems like what you would have silently said to me, Good bye my little baby boy. I miss you so much.

May I go now?

Do you think the time is right? May I say good-bye to pain-filled days
and endless lonely nights?

I've lived my life and done my best, an example tried to be.
So can I take that step beyond and set my spirit free?

I didn't want to go at first, I fought with all my might. I’m sure you know.
But something seems to draw me now to a warm and loving light.

I want to go. I really do. It's difficult to stay.
But I will try as best I can to live just one more day.

To give you time to care for me and share your love and fears.
I know you're sad and afraid, because I see your tears.

I'll not be far, I promise that, and hope you'll always know
that my spirit will be close to you wherever you may go.

Thank you so for loving me. You know I love you, too.
That's why it's hard to say good-bye and end this life with you.

So hold me now just one more time and let me hear you say,
because you care so much for me, you'll let me go today.

In 2004 Tequila and Dancer brothers. They are together again now.

Author: Susan A. Jackson.

Confinement Practises

2011-01-22T09:17:00.000+08:00

Do you think confinement practices are good or detrimental to the mother? Or is it a waste of time?

One can not dismiss age old practices totally, even in the modern era with advances in medical care and evidence-based medicine. A lot of the confinement practices (more than 60%) are related to foods, and food directly contributes to nutrition, which is important to everyone, more so after a childbirth.

After childbirth, a woman may feel “weak”, and this is likely to be due to a sudden withdrawal of “feel good” hormones as well as anemia due to blood loss during labour. Also, the stomach and bowels which are initially compressed by the pregnant womb, now suddenly expands because of the sudden decrease in the size of the womb. These organs swell up with air and fluid, hence the sensation of bloatness or “wind”. If we can understand this, we can appreciate why the foods that are prepared (containing ginger or black pepper) for the mother in confinement appears to correct the problem.

However, like everything else, one should be selective about confinement practices. Practices that are outright irrational such as not taking shower for prolonged periods or avoidance of fruits or vegetables cannot possibly be beneficial to the woman.

What are some of the confinement practices that contradict modern science?

The most glaring is the prohibition of having a bath and washing the hair. It is illogical not to put hygiene as top priority. Keeping one’s body clean through regular shower is more likely to contribute to quick recovery.

The other one would be the avoidance of fruits or vegetables. These foods are a good source of vitamins and fibres which would help ensure good bowel habits and faster recovery.

Eating internal organs or seafoods are fine if well cooked. For that matter, foods that are raw should not be consumed during pregnancy and confinement for fear of contracting nasty bacteria such as listeriosis or salmonella (leading to food poisoning).

Traveling long distance in the car is fine, provided she takes plenty of breaks in between. In general, carrying heavy objects less than 10kg is acceptable.

Apart from this, carrying out any activities or taking any foods in moderation should not be an issue.

The start of the 666 mark???

2011-01-18T11:03:00.000+08:00

Here are the main verses on 666, the mark of the beast:

buy or sell

the mark

name of the beast

number of his name

Malaysia tests ID chips for embedding in bodies

Tue 9 September 2003 09:51AM BST

Your cat's got one, your dog's got one... how long before you have one too?

http://www.silicon.com/news/500022-500001/1/5926.html
The Malaysian government has acquired rights to chips that can embed identity tags into cash, passports or even human bodies.
The government has acquired intellectual property rights to the chip - now dubbed the Malaysian Microchip (MM) - from Japanese research and development (R&D) company FEC, which designed it.
The chip can replace barcode tags in retail goods, and can be inserted into the human body, animals, bullets, credit cards and other items for verification purposes, said the report.
The made-in-Malaysia microchip measuring 0.5 mm X 0.5 mm - the size of a decimal point - uses the radio frequency identification (RFID) chip technology, and costs around six pence each to produce.
A platform for the application of the chip's underlying technology is currently being set up and is scheduled to be completed before the end of the year.
The microchip would be manufactured in Japan early next year but production would eventually move to a factory in Malaysia's northern Kedah state belonging to state-owned wafer fabrication firm Silterra, the country's Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad said in the report.
The MM is a multi-band RFID chip, which means that it would also be usable in the US and Europe, which have adopted a different RFID frequency standard from that in Japan, FEC officials said in the report.
Japanese firms are at the forefront of RFID technology. Hitachi, for example, is rumoured to be developing a speck-sized radio chip to be embedded into Euro currency notes as a security measure. At a recent Japan trade show, a demonstration of RFID technology allows retailers to track the movements of a consumer in a book store.
****************************************************************************************

I recently had a conversation with a friend about the Mark of the beast and she told me that we in Malaysia already have it. I said that it'll be a long time before they make us get the chip in our bodies as every single thing needs so much time to be approved and tested etc etc.

Anyway the conversation went on to the subject of Doomsday, for us the Second coming of Christ and how all the signs are already here like the very peculiar weather, the volcano eruptions, the floods, the Tsunamis, the earth quakes, the fires, the horrific accidents and most recently even the zodiac signs!

However, I didn't know that my little girl (6yrs old) & my friend's daughter (11yrs old) over heard us talking about it and they had a conversation of their own about it.

When we came home that night my daughter asked me what it all meant and I feel I did not explain it satisfactorily to her in terms for her to understand and not get her frightened as well as not actually lie to her.

Anyway what I told her was that she had nothing to worry about as it is not going to happen for a very very long time, probably long after we all are longer around.

Well, after finally putting her to sleep, I had trouble sleeping. We tend to think like many people do, that it's far away and not going to affect us. For me though that night I had a feeling of 'what if' it's not really that far away? What if it happens in the next 2 years or 5 years?

So i went online and did some research and i found the links above.

Yes we are already in it! Malaysia has been using this chip (RFID) in touch n go for some time now, I think the 1st was the chip in our international passports. So it may very well not be much longer before we start hearing news that we have to get a chip implanted in our hands (or where ever) for purchasing, documentation, medical etc.

Then it came to me this question, what if this really is the Mark of the Beast in the Bible's Revelations? Am i willing to get marked? Will I allow my kids to be marked? What will happen if I do not want to be marked? And finally, how long more do we have?

What do you think?

CAN’T BLAME THE DOGS, ONLY THE INAPPROPRIATE HANDLING, SAYS SPCA

2011-01-14T12:28:00.000+08:00

A Tragic Mystery! One dog was described as friendly another described as shy but these were the attack dogs that killed a grown man! One that had played with them before! Why did these dogs suddenly go into attack mode? Especially when a day before they played with the victim? Strange.

My heartfelt, condolences to the victims family.

News from SPCA Selangor

For Release on Thursday 13^th January 2011

CAN’T BLAME THE DOGS, ONLY THE INAPPROPRIATE HANDLING, SAYS SPCA

SELANGOR, 13th JANUARY 2011– In light of the recent fatal dog-attack at a farm in Penang, the SPCA Selangor says that dog owners must always be responsible for the well-being and behavior of their pets.

“I would like to extend our heart-felt condolences to Maurice Sullivan's loved ones. This is an isolated case albeit a terribly tragic one, and I hope this will not lead to a sudden wave of ill-feeling or hate towards dogs across Malaysia," says SPCA Chairman Christine Chin. “Dogs are generally very sociable companion animals and they are hyper-social and hypersensitive. They love companionship and they innately understand their master’s habits and behavior and tone of voice,” she continues.

Over the centuries, humans have trained dogs to protect and guard their homes, property and livestock. Beside this, many dogs have been trained to assist the blind and disabled in going about their daily lives and provide much needed companionship for the marginalised.

Christine adds, “However, some dogs are specifically trained to protect their owner’s property and these dogs are trained to attack intruders that enter their territory. Generally these dogs become very fierce either as a result of the harsh training or restraining them in small cages/kennels and therefore have very little contact with other human beings other than their carers. It is usually us humans that inflict these frustrations on these dogs to the extent that they turn this frustration into rage and will become aggressive in nature.”

Taking away the dogs from the owner does not resolve the issue at large. It is having the adequate knowledge on how to be a responsible owner that will bring a solution to the issues that we face. Dogs are animals nonetheless, loving or otherwise, and we need to be mindful that it is us humans that are ultimately responsible for their actions.

The SPCA acts as the nation’s watchdog on animal welfare issues and operates a hotline for the public to lodge reports against owners that abuse, neglect or abandon their pets, as well as reports of homeless animals in distress. The organization would like to extend their heartfelt gratitude to all the individuals who have been calling in to report cases of animal abuse or neglect.

-ends -

For more information, kindly contact Helen Chan (MARCOM Manager) at the SPCA Selangor office at 42565312/ 42535179 or via email at helen.spca@gmail.com

Note To Editors:

· The Society For Prevention of Cruelty To Animals (SPCA) Selangor is an NGO which serves Selangor and The Federal Territory.

· SPCA Selangor was established in 1958, with the aim of protecting defenseless animals and alleviating their suffering.

· The SPCA does not receive any government funding, relying entirely on donations from the public to support its services & activities.

· The SPCA Animal Shelter & Adoption Centre at Ampang Jaya temporarily homes 300-350 unwanted animals at any one time while seeking new homes for them. The animals are made up of surrendered pets, rescued cruelty case animals and stray or abandoned animals brought in by Good Samaritans.

· The SPCA would like to work closely with the people of Malaysia to elevate the welfare standards for our Malaysian animals – ensuring they responsibly neuter their pets, provide adequate food, space, exercise, care and medical attention, as well as encouraging them to be responsible neighbors.

Thoughts Of A Mom: In Support of Breastfeeding moms.

2010-11-08T01:36:00.000+08:00

Thoughts Of A Mom: In Support of Breastfeeding moms.

In Support of Breastfeeding moms.

2010-11-08T00:59:00.001+08:00

I am in total support of breastfeeding.

Some people are offended when they see mothers breastfeeding in public. These people think breastfeeding in public is as offensive as being naked in public.

Here I would like to gently remind humankind that we mothers who breastfeed want the best for our children and we do not follow a fixed schedule for feeding as breastfeeding is normally fed on demand. In fact if we do not feed when our babies demands it then we tend to get "leaky" for a lack of a better word and at times may develop painful complications like breast engorgement and such.

In Malaysia, it is good that the Ministry of Health is all for breastfeeding and all those who have their babies in government hospitals, are strongly encouraged to breastfeed. I am glad of the post-delivery support the hospital provides. For me a new mom clueless about breastfeeding, they helped me alot.

I encountered problems when I was out in public and needed to breastfeed. No 1 major problem was there are limited areas where you can breastfeed your child in comfort. Try looking for a place to beastfeed when you are at a bus terminal, or market, or cinema, or even shopping complexes. Living in Seremban a growing town, the only place, 6 yrs ago that had a breastfeeding room was in Jusco, it was in the baby's area and it was a small one but at least they had one. Other public places that had breastfeeding areas were the hospitals or pediatrician clinics.

So there I was in a mall in town one day and I needed to feed my baby and the only place was A&W in Ocean Mall, so i took a seat in a fairly quiet area and got as comfortable as I could (you know those chairs that were joined to the tables) and proceeded to breastfeed my baby. As I looked up, there far across from me was a family of 5, mom, dad and 3 kids and the "dad" was staring at me. I promptly stared right back at him until he lowered his eyes. His wife, when she saw me, gave me a snub and mumbled something (probably cursing me).

Their attitude was that I had no right to breast feed my baby in public. I do not understand why they feel the way they do when breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world. There is nothing offensive about breast feeding your baby. our moms and grand moms and their moms probably breastfed too.

When is it that formula milk become the better food for our babies compared to breast milk? When is it that our babies suckling a plastic bottle with a rubber nipple became more natural than what our breasts and nipples were made for?

Breast milk is the best milk and there is nothing shameful with breastfeeding our children. So to quote a site that I am in support of :

Vintage art

2010-10-16T12:42:00.000+08:00

I saw today a friend of mine has almost the same interest as me in vintage art.
Which triggered me on a hunting spree for the vintage pin up art pictures.
I just love these pictures these are so elegantly done.
Some people may think these are rude or porn but to me it is art as it is elegant and classic.
It's just so pretty.

Fatal Crashes on the highways recently.

2010-10-15T13:56:00.000+08:00

Reading about the fatal accidents on the highways in Malaysia recently, is making me more nervous about driving outstation.

In my job, I tend to travel alot. Driving a 13 yr old car, alone on the highway, always makes me extra cautious. I tend to drive around 80-90km per hour and never drive on the fast lane.

There were many times when my fellow road users make me so angry because they have totally no regard for the safety of those around them.
Big vehicles, like express buses, trailers, trucks, lorries big or small, will be zooming way past their speed limit of 80/90km/h. Many times they will drive as close to the back of my car and flash their lights to tell me to move out of their way. What I do not understand is why can't they over take my slower car instead of trying to force me to move away? I'm already driving in the slow lane, why can't they understand that if you want to overtake a slow vehicle use the right lane?

There was once a truck carrying oil, who practically forced me out of the far left lane and I had to drive off the road into the grassy area! There were no vehicles in the middle lane but he refused to overtake my car properly, he tailgated me for about 1 minute flashing his lights and then when I refused to move into the right lane, he over took my car and on purpose cut right in front of me half of the body of his truck almost slammed into my car and it was 2o'clock in the afternoon!

Why is it there are people who are so selfish when driving? Seriously, These types of drives need to be put away before the murder innocent people.

Why can't large vehicles be implemented with a devise that controls the speed limit?
I think this is the only way if we cannot control these drivers and we want to do something about our own safely on the roads, then PLEASE DO something!

Mariah Carey - All I Want For Christmas Is You

2010-10-07T15:16:00.000+08:00

Merdeka tomorrow.

2010-08-30T11:55:00.001+08:00

I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

It's Merdeka tomorrow and all around me there is almost nothing that shows me that tomorrow is the 31st of August 2010 the 53rd year of Malaysia's Independence and that we as a nation is excited to celebrate it. Shops, offices, houses, cars, are hardly flying any flags.

Yesterday while I was driving with my family and my 6 yr old daughter asked me why the taxi beside my car had a flag on it's car, that was when i realised that Tuesday will be Merdeka.

After explaining to my 6 yr old what merdeka meant and recounting stories of my younger days when everywhere i looked had flags flying proudly, it hit me again that Malaysians doesn't seem excited this year! (may be not for a few years already).

I myself did not bother to go get a flag for my car this year, in fact i didn't get one last year either!

personally, my reason was I'm disappointed with what is happening in this dear country of mine.

Top of with the way my pockets has been lately, I decided to show my displeasure, I would not fly the flag on my car. (cut cost mah!)

However, looking all around me even this morning (the eve of Merdeka) I saw very very few cars that had flags. In about 20 vehicles i encountered only 1 had a flag. It made my eyes sting with tears, I feel so very sad for this beautiful country of mine. The sadness in my heart almost feels like the pain of losing a dear friend.

Is it really true that there are so many of us Malaysians who are so unhappy that we are not flying our Country's flag today? And if this is really true what are we so unhappy about? and the biggest question is what are we going to do about it?

For me, I want my daughter to feel proud of her country, Malaysia, the land, the people, we are what counts.

The politics can go to hell for all i care now.

This is my country, my home, this land is where i was born, where my mother (my mom was Chinese) was born and died at the age of 63 in 2004. This is where my daughter was born. This land is where my dad (by the way my dad is Indian) was born he's 72yrs old. This land is where my dear 90 yr old Auntie May De Costa (she's Portuguese) was born! This is our home. YES! this land, Malaysia, is our country. We are the people of Malaysia, Please show us a little respect and not call us pendatang, penumpang,etc. Do not discriminate against me by my race for I'm a Malaysian.

So I will celebrate Merdeka this year for this land, Malaysia. I will now go out and buy a flag to put on my car to show that I am Malaysian. I'm flying this flag for my Malaysia and not for any politicians out there. The politicians (many of them) has forgotten what their job is supposed to be about! By the way, please take note here that I wrote politicians and not just government or opposition, this is because politicians covers them all!

And lastly to all fellow Malaysians, I wish you a Happy 53rd Merdeka tomorrow.

A nation's culture resides in the hearts and in the soul of its people.
Mohandas Gandhi

"Dirty Dancing"

2010-08-19T14:45:00.000+08:00

How many parents think that this movie has corrupted our kids?

Well, let me say this, I watched this movie when i was 16 or 17yrs old (about 15yrs ago). I totally enjoyed the movie and i felt i wished I could dance that good. It however did not make me go out and get laid!

Watching this again now though made me realise the very quiet message that "Baby" in that movie trusted her father (the doctor) so much that she went to him when her friend was in need. She know she might get in trouble with her father but her trust & faith in her dad, that he will help, made her go straight to him. The father, upheld her trust by treating her friend even though later he had words with his daughter.

The lesson here was we parents need to have our children belive in us before they will come to us.

Just shoving moral studies down their throat is not going to be enough. Blaming and finger pointing is so not going to help.

That's just my two cents worth.

Dirty Dancing - Time of my Life (Final Dance) - High Quality

2010-08-19T14:29:00.000+08:00

Gloria Gaynor - I Love You Baby

2010-08-19T13:58:00.000+08:00

My dad and Me

2010-08-07T12:15:00.000+08:00

I started writing this in April 2010 but some how time just flew by and i only finished this today.

My parents were divorced when I was 5. Being raise by my mo, meant I didnt have a close relationship with my dad. For many years we are more like strangers.

The times when he did come to visit me, It was very awkward for me but as I grew older I suspected it was awkward for my Dad as well.

Why my parents got a divorce? I have never found out the actual truth. After all my parents had 4 kids and were together for 6 years. My very vague memories of the times before I was even in nursery was of my mom and dad quite happy together. Before the many fights. My mom had never given me the actual reason. Oh, there were lots of reasons that I heard from many people including my mom but even when I was very much younger I knew the true reason why mom decided to leave my dad was not revealed to me. And I will never know. My dad nor my mom never remarried. They both came close to remarrying other people though I know but neither did in the end.

However, I strongly suspect that my dad had hurt my mom so much so, that she left him. Anyway that is my mom's story to tell. May she rest in peace.

What I wanted to write today was about my feelings for my dad.

As I mentioned before, I was never close to my dad, having grown up without a father figure was not a disadvantage to me. However it left me with not much feelings for my dad. I do not know what and how to feel for my dad. I'm not saying I'm heartless, but what I'm saying is I do not know how to be a daughter to him. We saw very little of my dad when we were younger. I remember I saw him once at Christmas and then hardly ever, other then the couple of times when he took us to Singapore just him and us 3 kids. We stayed with our Uncle & our cousins there. I remember at that time he was still working with MAS (Malaysia Airlines). Then sometime when I was about 10 he took a job in Saudi Arabia the next time I saw my dad was when I was 14. and I saw him again a couple of times mostly once a year. Then as I grew up I did not see him again until I was in my 20's.

The emotions I have concerning him are a variety of negative emotions, like feeling frustrated (because he messes himself up now that he is old and when he is lazy because he wants the attention like a child), impatient, sometimes even angry coz He is not taking responsibility for his own health. However, when I do take a moment to sit and think about him, I feel sad and depressed because I know a daughter should not feel so much negative emotions for her father. Under normal circumstances I mostly feel sorry for him. He is now old and he has no one.

I wish with all my heart we had a better relationship. I know in the last 2 decades he has tried to make amends for what ever he had done when he was younger. The problem was I did not have a connection with him. Our relationship improved a bit (as in we got to know more about each other) in 2003 when he came and lived with me in a flat. And when I left for England I knew he was sad to see me go. The last day that I saw him before I left the flat, I saw how sad he was like he knew his chance of growing closer to me had just vanished. That day I promised him and my self that I'll try harder to be a better daughter to him. But since then it has not happened.

In 2004 my mom told my dad just before she passed away that she forgave him for everything that has happened. She then asked us her children to do the same and to forgive him too and I gave my promise to her. Over time, I've definitely slipped up. Forgiving was not the problem. However it was that I have not been taking care of him.

Mainly due to his ill health which requires full time attention which I am unable to give him and also due to financial issues (the lack of). I had my dad come live with me sometime in Jun 2009. I had a room set up for him, cooked his lunch at 6am. Laid out the table for him before I left for work so he just had to walk to the dining table and serve himself. I had to wash & scrub the toilet more then normal because he made a mess every time. I had to wash and clean up his mess. Until the day he collapsed once when I was not around and he dragged himself to the room. The 2nd time when I was almost out the door to go to work. My dad is a tall man 6 footer, and even though he was thin he weights 70kgs. He was very much incapable of looking after himself and I did not have the strength and resources to take care of him. Further more being a single parent myself I was stretched to the limit.

With all that being said, It doesn't excuse me from being a compassionate person. After all he is an old man and deserves at more then just impatience from me. My dad had to go live in a charity home for the aged. At least there there was someone to look after him 24/7.

I, however, have just allowed time to slip by day after day without going to visit him once in the year he left my house. Ok yes times were bad, I lost my job had no work for a couple of months, finally am working again but have to pay off debts collected during my 'no work time', been sick, etc,etc. Yet till now April 2010 I have not visited him and I had not made any plans yet. Having a hope to one day afford a home & a maid to look after my dad doesn't count when I have not made the effort to go visit him.

Today, it's the 7th of August 2010. been months since I wrote the above story.

My news update is since I wrote the above, I have made the necessary effort to see my dad.

I've taken turns with his sister to take him for his monthly medical check ups. I also see him once in a month on a visit.

The 1st time I went to see him, he looked totally different from the man who left my house last year. He looked much much older, he couldn't walk needed a wheel chair.

I'm glad to say that he has improved some now. Last month when I went to take him to the doc, he did not need the wheel chair to get him form his bed to the car. He walked with my help but at least he walked. He looks a bit stronger but thin.

He still complaints about the food served. My dad is a meat man. Now he has to eat lots of veges only and gets meat only once or twice a week. They are not being mean at the home it's just old people need easy to digest food.

I keep in contact with my dad every week with phone calls. I call him and he'll call me. Our relationship is still not very close but at least we both try.

To all parents our children are a blessing, keep them close to our hearts and let them know you love them for one day we will be old and miss them.

My dad and my daughter. April 2010

God Bless all parents.

Are rapist & paedophiles living among us?

2010-08-07T10:46:00.000+08:00

In our country convicted rapist after being let out from prison, is totally free! They can do what ever they want again because we have no way of tracking them.

Currently, the Penal Code punishment for the rape of a child under 12 is a jail term of up to (this is the maximum) 30 years and caning. most of the time they do not get the maximum.

Statistics from the police's sexual crimes and children investigation division revealed a 50 per cent rise in the number of sex offences for five consecutive years from 2005.

In 2006,a total of 2,048 rape cases involving girls aged 16 and below were recorded compared with 925 cases in 2005. There is not much figure on rape of boys most probably because it's not reported!

How many convicted rapist and paedophiles are out there living among us? May be even living near to us?

How would I know if my neighbour is a rapist or a paedophile? how would I know if the security guard at my building where i live is a rapist or a paedophile?

What about the taxi driver? The bus driver? the chicken rice seller?

The roti man?

The grocery shop assistant that sends me gas one a month? OK how about more closer? my neighbour's son?

what about my babysitter's husband? what about my husband's friend? what about my boy friend? or fiance?

The point is we do not know who or what those around us can be or even are!

In the US, all sex offenders are registered. It was made it a criminal offense for a registered sex offender to move to another state and knowingly fail to notify the FBI and authorities in the new state. Notification to the FBI and state authorities must be made within 10 days upon moving to a new state and/or establishing residence following release from prison or placed on parole, supervised release, or probation. Upon release, each sex offender is notified of their lawful duty to register with the FBI and appropriate local authorities."

I was just thinking our country is focused on vision 2020, the multi media super corridor and such. why can't out country register sex offenders as well?

If only we can adopt the US system for this purpose, i know I would feel much more relieved.

Our Children are prey!

2010-08-07T10:23:00.000+08:00

Recently there has been just too many violent acts against children.

Reading about a little child being raped, in front of other children in public had the hairs at the back of my neck stand on end. How can I ever trust sending my child to school in a school van/bus?

Are we so lax that anyone is able to obtain a driving license to ferry children? I guess we have no laws in place for that.

In today's papers it was reported of a 12 year old girl who was raped by 3 men! after she had a "telephone affair" with a man. this man duped her into meeting him. someone else met her and took her to meet him however she was rape by 3 other men!

To me it sounded very much like the paper was blaming the 12 yr old girl for "having the telephone affair" with that man in the 1st place!

Why didn't the headline read:-
"Girl was raped because she was conned into meeting a man a telephone relationship"

Instead the headline was :-

"Girl’s hand phone affair ends in rape."

They should have highlighted how come a 12 yr old was allowed to be friendly over the telephone with a total stranger?
Why is it our kids are not aware of the dangers out there?

If this child was aware that it was dangerous for her to meet a stranger, she would not have agreed to meet him.

If the child was warned against the paedophiles out there this may not have happened!
How old would your would you consider it save for a child be before she / he is allowed to use a pair of adult scissors? At what age is it fine for your child to use a knife by her/him self?
Isn't it true that when your child is learning to use the scissors or knife you would be very close to help him/her with it? to supervise him/her?

The same principle applies to the mobile phone, Internet, car, etc.
Do parents know the dangers of giving too much freedom too soon to the kids?

As a parent, would you, say "hey, you are old enough to learn to use the scissors here take this and use it wisely" to a child that has not had any lessons in using the dangerous object? Would you simply allow unsupervised use of it?

Giving them too much freedom too soon is tantamount to neglecting the safety and well being of these children! Not to mention irresponsible. Isn't it our responsibility to protect the children under our care?

It is our responsibility as parents to PROTECT our kids, by making them aware of the dangers out there!
It is our responsibility to educate our children of the many evils of this world and the evils of humankind in general!
It is our responsibility to make sure our kids comes to us with any tiny problems they may have!
It is our responsibility that our children trust us enough to tell us anything!
Even if it is about a "boy friend, or a girlfriend", even if it is about sex, drugs, anything.
If our children trust us 100% they will not need to do things in secret!
It is OUR responsibility to earn our childrens' trust!

In our country convicted rapist after being let out from prison, is totally free! They can do what ever they want again because we have no way of tracking them.

Currently, the Penal Code punishment for the rape of a child under 12 is a jail term of up to (this is the maximum) 30 years and caning. most of the time they do not get the maximum.

Statistics from the police's sexual crimes and children investigation division revealed a 50 per cent rise in the number of sex offences for five consecutive years from 2005.

In 2006,a total of 2,048 rape cases involving girls aged 16 and below were recorded compared with 925 cases in 2005. There is not much figure on rape of boys most probably because it's not reported!

How many convicted rapist and paedophiles are out there living among us? May be even living near to us? How would I know if my neighbour is a rapist or a paedophile? how would I know if the security guard at my building where i live is a rapist or a paedophile? What about the taxi driver? The bus driver? the chicken rice seller? The roti man? The grocery shop assistant that sends me gas one a month? OK how about more closer? my neighbour's son? what about my babysitter's husband? what about my husband's friend? what about my boy friend? or fiance?
The point is we do not know who or what those around us can be or even are!

In the US, all sex offenders are registered. It was made it a criminal offense for a registered sex offender to move to another state and knowingly fail to notify the FBI and authorities in the new state. Notification to the FBI and state authorities must be made within 10 days upon moving to a new state and/or establishing residence following release from prison or placed on parole, supervised release, or probation. Upon release, each sex offender is notified of their lawful duty to register with the FBI and appropriate local authorities."

I was just thinking our country is focused on vision 2020, the multi media super corridor and such. why can't out country register sex offenders as well? If only we can adopt the US system for this purpose, i know I would feel much more releived.

Maternit leave? Yes We need more!

2010-07-24T00:13:00.000+08:00

I read somewhere something about extra maternity leave ans some people were for it and also some against it.

I am all for it. I'm a mom and If i ever wanna go thru bringing a child in this world again when i'm also working then i will need it! People being a parent to a new born baby is the most stressful, job in the world! especially so if u r a one parent household!

But lets speak for the majority here. imagine the mom after carrying her baby in her body for the past 40 weeks (average to full term) finally gets her body back but from the time she goes into labour (let me emphasise here the word LABOUR) she has no rest and that's not to say she was comfortable in the 40 weeks 4 the labour begun. she only gets relieve once the baby has join the world we live in and is no longer in her body! she has to go thru the 1st day/night with her infant she can sleep no matter how tired she is as there are things to d like changing her cloths a few times and trying to do it without pain. her feelings for the new infant, worrying, dealing with other family members (thank God she has her partner beside her helping her thru). she has to feed the baby (she has to feed it no matter if from her breast or otherwise)

Then this part just continues on for the next week until things calm down a bit at home but she has very little sleep not only the mom but also the dad! for the next week (that's 2 weeks now) the family has to entertain visitors and well wishes too as well as caring for the baby. no rest at nite and not enough rest during the day either. once things settle a bit in another 2 weeks when the confinement time is up, they have to prepare either a kenduri, full moon or baptism celebration. every culture has it's own and it involves a lot of additional stress and sleepless nites.

The next month, things are getting more settled, the mom & dad need to look for someone to take care of the baby once mom starts working again. Unfortunately the mom has to go back to work just after 2months she is not fully recovered her baby is still very young. they both mom & baby need the extra time.

And the fathers should be given more time too. some companies do not even allow the fathers paternity leave not even 1 day! the fathers had 40 weeks of being with his pregnant wife then he had to go thru the labour without being able to offer much but comfort then after that he has to deal wit all the paper work and help his wife with the baby and work a full time job as well.

But we were all babies once and we all had parents too we too may all one day be parents so let's consider are we really a caring society or a money making society?

As a single working adult for 15 yrs of my life I've had a few colleagues who when on maternity leave never once did resentment fill my mind because of any additional work i have due to her absence. never once did i feel "hey why r u getting paid but i'm doing ur work? however i did resent some colleagues who used to take MC's just becoz they cud and not coz they were sick! it was ans still is 2 very different issues to me.

As a parent of a 6 yrs old, and i have no future intentions of having another kid, Malaysia really must realise that when we are caring we get much more then when we are calculative.
If a boss really cares about his/her workers, they will know it and they will give their 110% effort in appreciation!

I've been working for more than 1/2 of my life and i have had the honor of working for some very good people, those of us who had the privileged to work for them, to us it was some of our best memories! I've also had the "horror" of working for some very self serving people and let me tell u i learned the many ways of not giving as much as i can!

So i think it is a very good idea if more time can be given for maternity & paternity leaves.

Shakira - Waka Waka (This Time for Africa) (The Official 2010 FIFA ...

2010-06-30T13:52:00.000+08:00

You better start living in the real world la!

2010-06-21T18:40:00.000+08:00

Friday June 18, 2010

Cut down on overheads, says Raja Nong Chik

PETALING JAYA: Earning RM3,000 a month should be manageable if folks living in cities cut down on overheads such as Astro and cars, said minister Datuk Raja Nong Chik Raja Zainal Abidin.
The Federal Territories and Urban Well-Being Minister said having cars could be a burden owing to the high cost of maintenance.
He added that a survey showed there was an average of three cars to a flat unit.
However, he did not say if the three-car-to-a-flat ratio was due to several tenants staying in one unit.

No wonder i see some families (dad, mom, and 3 kids) riding one motorbike all over he place! Must be his idea!

“For example, if waiters can manage an average of 10 tables each, the restaurant operator need not hire too many waiters and could therefore pay them better salaries.

Huh! I hope he is not referring to a table of 10 persons coz that would mean waiting on 100 people at one time! I'd like to see the waiter or waitress who can do that!!! Hey May be you should show us how it is done!

Hey Mr What's Your Name! If your salary is RM3000 a month,
you only get a take home pay of Rm 2700 (at the most)
Then if you rent a flat for Rm 400 a month (because I have never seen a flat that is below RM300 anyway near KL!)
And you have 2 kids one in pre school the other a baby you need to pay for baby sitter and kindergarten which can take up at the very least RM600 a month
Let's not forget you have to pay for petrol, and car maintenance which let's put aside RM400 a month.
Then you have utility bills of around RM200 a month and the prepaiod phone (for both the spouse) RM100 Now let's take it that there is no home phone.
Then you need to pay for insurance for 4 persons lets say it's RM500 then the rest is for Diapers, milk, food for 4 persons.

Tell me Mr What's your name, how much do you have left?! Please note there is no astro, or cinema movies or family outing meals included!

That's why la next time better use your brains to think before making smart ass statements!

And excuse me, I'm earning half that amount and living in SEREMBAN that's a city too almost!
So please go give your comments to someone who was born yesterday! because I wasn't!

Lauryn Hill - I Need You Baby !!Čekni to!!=)

2010-05-31T12:07:00.000+08:00

Taylor Swift - You Belong With Me

2010-05-31T12:01:00.000+08:00

Colbie Caillat - Fallin' For You

2010-05-31T11:57:00.000+08:00

Another example of bad parenting.

2010-05-11T15:20:00.003+08:00

'Home alone' girl may be put up for adoption

By FARIK ZOLKEPLI
farik@thestar.com.my

JOHOR BARU: The two-year-old “home alone” girl, who was left to fend for herself for 17 hours by her jobless parents, will be put up for adoption should the search for her closest relatives not yield any results.

“What they (biological parents) did was ruthless and despicable,” she said, referring to the incident where the little girl was abandoned by her parents while they went job-hunting.

The girl’s 37-year-old father and 23-year-old mother are serving time for abandoning the child at their home in Daiman Apartment here on April 17.

The parents, from Sarawak, had left the two-year-old inside a locked room with only a plate of rice and a little kitten from 5.30am until 10.30pm while they went job-hunting in Singapore.

***********************************************************
This here is clearly another example of bad parenting.

Actually I know we did not get the full story here.

I would have liked to know why the parents thought that it was alright to leave a toddler by his or herself?

Was there no one who could have helped them babysit the child?

Don't they have any family members willing to help out? Any Neighbors? Any Friends?

Did the Parents think that it was easier to leave the child alone instead of with someone else?

Why? I'm sure they must have thought it out? So why? I need to understand why they did it.

I'm not here to judge but I wish to really understand why they did what they did. My heart is troubled that as Human we can be so careless? or are we getting so stupid? or are we so desperate to make such bad decisions?

Thoughts Of A Mom

Living with asthma.

My gift: an angel from God

Good Bye My Dearest Friend, Tequila

Do you think the time is right? May I say good-bye to pain-filled days and endless lonely nights?

I've lived my life and done my best, an example tried to be. So can I take that step beyond and set my spirit free?

I didn't want to go at first, I fought with all my might. I’m sure you know. But something seems to draw me now to a warm and loving light.

I want to go. I really do. It's difficult to stay. But I will try as best I can to live just one more day.

To give you time to care for me and share your love and fears. I know you're sad and afraid, because I see your tears.

I'll not be far, I promise that, and hope you'll always know that my spirit will be close to you wherever you may go.

Thank you so for loving me. You know I love you, too. That's why it's hard to say good-bye and end this life with you.

So hold me now just one more time and let me hear you say, because you care so much for me, you'll let me go today.

Confinement Practises

Do you think confinement practices are good or detrimental to the mother? Or is it a waste of time?

What are some of the confinement practices that contradict modern science?

The most glaring is the prohibition of having a bath and washing the hair. It is illogical not to put hygiene as top priority. Keeping one’s body clean through regular shower is more likely to contribute to quick recovery.

The start of the 666 mark???

Malaysia tests ID chips for embedding in bodies

Your cat's got one, your dog's got one... how long before you have one too?

CAN’T BLAME THE DOGS, ONLY THE INAPPROPRIATE HANDLING, SAYS SPCA

A Tragic Mystery! One dog was described as friendly another described as shy but these were the attack dogs that killed a grown man! One that had played with them before! Why did these dogs suddenly go into attack mode? Especially when a day before they played with the victim? Strange.

My heartfelt, condolences to the victims family.

Thoughts Of A Mom: In Support of Breastfeeding moms.

In Support of Breastfeeding moms.

Vintage art

Fatal Crashes on the highways recently.

Mariah Carey - All I Want For Christmas Is You

Merdeka tomorrow.

"Dirty Dancing"

Dirty Dancing - Time of my Life (Final Dance) - High Quality

Gloria Gaynor - I Love You Baby

My dad and Me

Are rapist & paedophiles living among us?

Our Children are prey!

Maternit leave? Yes We need more!

Shakira - Waka Waka (This Time for Africa) (The Official 2010 FIFA ...

You better start living in the real world la!

Friday June 18, 2010

Cut down on overheads, says Raja Nong Chik

Lauryn Hill - I Need You Baby !!Čekni to!!=)

Taylor Swift - You Belong With Me

Colbie Caillat - Fallin' For You

Another example of bad parenting.

'Home alone' girl may be put up for adoption

By FARIK ZOLKEPLIfarik@thestar.com.my

Do you think the time is right? May I say good-bye to pain-filled days
and endless lonely nights?

I've lived my life and done my best, an example tried to be.
So can I take that step beyond and set my spirit free?

I didn't want to go at first, I fought with all my might. I’m sure you know.
But something seems to draw me now to a warm and loving light.

I want to go. I really do. It's difficult to stay.
But I will try as best I can to live just one more day.

To give you time to care for me and share your love and fears.
I know you're sad and afraid, because I see your tears.

I'll not be far, I promise that, and hope you'll always know
that my spirit will be close to you wherever you may go.

Thank you so for loving me. You know I love you, too.
That's why it's hard to say good-bye and end this life with you.

So hold me now just one more time and let me hear you say,
because you care so much for me, you'll let me go today.

By FARIK ZOLKEPLI
farik@thestar.com.my