Thoughts of an imperfect angel

We now return to your normally scheduled programming...

2013-09-02T14:56:00.001-04:00

Holy Batman! It's been AGES since I've posted anything...but now that my life has settled,somewhat, I plan on posting a lot more:)
Updates since 2012-moved and settled into my current abode,still working, still in a relationship...so everything is still the same,with some minor changes.

I'm now 23, so I think that's been the biggest change in my life,I'm older..haha. I think I'm a bit of a bore sometimes,simply because I work all the time. But I have finally come to the point where I'm happy and settled into my life,so maybe I'll start to make some changes now....

Once I've been inspired,or something interesting happens in my life, I'll be sure to post it...until then, happy days

Jasmine :)

New Year, same s*%t

2012-01-01T20:22:00.000-05:00

Happy new year! It's 2012...and I'm finding that nothing has changed. The same people still get on my nerves, work is still work, etc. I've realized that even though the year has changed the same issues have remained. I don't make resolutions and I'm not about to start, however I will say that I'm not tolerating any more b.s in 2012...so I need everyone to be prepared to be called out and told about themselves whenever I see fit...YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!

I'm baaccckkkk!!!!!

2011-12-29T01:40:00.000-05:00

Oh how I've missed you!

It's been approximately 10 months since my last post...(I've been slacking, I know, forgive me)
But things got extremely crrazzzzzyy in March. So I guess I need to update you on what's been going on...well in;
March- adventures in apartment hunting resulted in me finding the current place I am typing this entry in
April- I attempted to figure out the school/work schedule; work prevailed (this time)
May- I celebrated my 21st, and came to the realization that I wasn't missing out on anything.
I was placed with a new manager at work...it's hard to remain humble and respectful when you know more than your boss, but I did eventually get it together
June- moved into my own little home...loving it and it's decorated to my tastes
July- help the bf celebrate his birthday...other than that; things were pretty low key but I did enjoy a much needed vaca
August-pretty low key; just got comfortable in the new place
September- received my 1st promotion at work :)
October- HALLOWEEN is still my favorite holiday, but I got to spend it w/ my little monkey...so precious
November- 2nd promotion at work (I'm on a roll)

Now that we've gotten to the present...here's what December 2011 has brought me thus far...

December 1-28th

Participated in the bf's family gift exchange
Celebrated my surrogate niece's 1st birthday
BOUGHT MY 1st CAR (all by myself)
Watched my MIL graduate from college (in spirit, I had to work)
2nd Christmas w/ the bf; received a beautiful piece of jewelry (again) he spoils me so much :)
FULL WEEK OFF WORK, so thankful for paid vacations :-)
cleaning extravaganza...my mother always told me to have your home in tip top shape before the new year b/c that's the condition it would be in for the upcoming year...finished cleaning EVERYTHING. bedrooms, bathrooms, closets, kitchen AND laundry (Martha Stewart who?!)

and now that we've been caught up, let me tell you about my day today (Dec 28);

I've come to the conclusion that my family has quickly outgrown our current home so I'm once again scouring the papers for a new place to stay; but this time it will be for a while (2 year minimum). So I've complied a list of 6 potential place and I'm going to hit them all tomorrow. Hoping to find something that he and I both like and still remaining w/in our budget...wish me luck and I shall update you on the adventures of apartment hunting tomorrow, well later today (it's early morning now)

Wish me luck!
Jasmine

Post winter commentary

2011-02-25T23:18:00.003-05:00

I am soooo glad that this winter weather is passing and that spring is approaching! I can't stand to be cold,and this winter was just a testament as to why i moved to NC in the first place...winter doesn't last long here, but when it comes...oh boy does it come!

I do have to say however that there are some cons to living in a semi-costal area...when there are nice days (we're talking, 60 degree weather ) people go a little crazy...I'm talking short shorts and tank top crazy. I've just got to say it's not consistently warm enough for that type of behavior, but I digress.

With spring coming up there are a few thing I have to look forward to but the main thing would be my rite of passage!
But there were some good things about this winter and it had a lot to do with my boyfriend...I can't wait to see what spring has to offer for me!

Au revoir winter, bonjour spring!

Decisions, decisions

2011-01-28T17:24:00.003-05:00

Lately I've been thinking about my future, and I have some high hopes. I'm hoping to move come July, into MY own space, just me...work couldn't be better and I have no complaints about my personal life.

I've been thinking about my home space, and I'm torn between buying my own house or to continue renting. I have until July to make a decision...and I've been weighing all the pros and cons of both and I do believe I'm leaning towards buying a home. I know it's going to be a lot of work but I really do believe that this is the best decision for me in the long run. And it'll be kind of nice to come home to a place that is really home. A place that I can truly call my own and know I've worked hard to achieve. Plus with my own home, I wouldn't have to worry about cleaning up after anyone but myself.

I don't know I've gotten 2nd, and 3rd opinions and everyone has given me their opinions about how much work it would be and that any problems incurred I would have to take care of on my own. They've given me a lot to think about...But like i said before, I have until July to make a decision.

Wish me luck
Jasmine

We're only 11 days in!

2011-01-11T08:07:00.003-05:00

It's been a crazy time for me...from starting a new job, to attempting to move (again) I'm beginning to feel like 2011 is going to be an interesting year.

I just feel like things are starting to get to me, all I seem to do nowadays is get up, go to work, come home and clean up after people...mind you I live with able bodied adults who are perfectly capable of cleaning up after themselves, but don't seem to be doing so. I've even gone as far as to separate dishes and label everything that's mine because my roommates seem to think that everything in the apartment is fair game...IT"S NOT! I don't work 40+ hours a week, spend my hard earned money on groceries (for me) to come home and find that my food has been picked over and devoured as though the entire complex has come over and feasted without giving me notice...I'm tired of doing for everyone else but myself, so I decided that it high time for me to indulge...just a little.

So as one could imagine I've begun the search for a place to live (all by myself) and so far...no luck. The cost of living is EXTREMELY ridiculous, the cheapest place I found STARTED at 550, that's for a 1 bedroom, with absolutely nothing included, now I do make a decent living, but I can't afford that and then to include utilities plus the bills that are currently coming in...I won't be moving for quite a while because I refuse to kill myself working overtime just to sustain my self and not have time for the important things and people in my life, and while we're on the subject...

My love life couldn't be better, I'm in a stable relationship that is progressing quite nicely =) Having someone special in your life is wonderful, and I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend...he's amazing(sigh). It's like everyday he finds new ways to show me how much he cares. I love me some him....but I digress because he's one topic that i could spend all day on and I'm sure that you would be disgusted if I did, not too many people can take the lovey-dovey mushy stuff...

Anywho, life goes on around here and it's moving by fairly quickly...I honestly can't believe that in less than 4 months I'll be celebrating ANOTHER birthday, and I less than 1 month a very special milestone will be celebrated, but more on those upcoming events later...

Hope you enjoy this (very cold) beautiful day
Jasmine

Post summer roundup

2010-09-02T12:07:00.003-04:00

It's almost Labor day, which means that the summer is drawing to a close. The summer of 2010 is without a doubt the most memorable summer of my young life.

Reasons why summer 2010 was memorable

1. I moved out of my mom's house, and have my own little quaint hovel that's mine and I love it as much as would a mansion.

2. School has been in the forefront of my life since LAST fall and I'm on the fast-track to graduation

3. I grew a backbone (finally) and voiced all my questions, comments, and opinions on people without worrying about if it hurt their feelings or not=) It was an enlightening experience and quite fun...

4. My personal life has taken a turn I never expected...and I've never been happier=)

5. I adopted a new saying and applied it to my life ' Things are almost perfect...and that's just the way I like it".

This simply means that I know I will never be able to achieve complete perfection, and I won't allow that to stop me from doing my very best to complete each task I'm given, and I'm okay with that. The days of me being this super control freak are over. I'm letting go of the reins and allowing God to steer.

While this summer consisted of many ups and downs I still can appreciate everything that happened because without those experiences, I wouldn't have been able to make the decisions that were necessary to make and live my life according to me. So here's to all the unforgettable memories of summer 2010, and here's to hoping that the remainder of the year provides me with some of the same.

Happy Fall!

Home (Bitter)Sweet Home

2010-08-12T21:56:00.002-04:00

I've been at my mother's house for the last few days and I honestly have a new respect for my little place called home in Greensboro. Well let me back track...

I've been away from home for almost 3 years with sporadic visits during my breaks at school. The last time I was home was in March 2009 {S.B} and hadn't been back since. I went to summer school from early June to end of July. I was provided with enough time to relax for about a week and a half before the school year started. my initial plan was to stay in NC and get my new place together...that's not even close to what happened.

After several HARASSING phone calls from my mother, pretty much begging me to come home, I conceded and got on a plane and came back to Lima. I never really wanted to come home for several reasons;
1. With only a week and a half before classes started I felt it was unnecessary and a waste of money
2. I'm not close with anyone in my family, and there wasn't one person I really wanted to see.
3. I've made a life for myself in Greensboro.

Regardless of what I wanted I got on a plane and have been home for the past 9 days. I don't know how I lasted but I did, but the real credit goes to my friends, without them I think I would have lost it...But the silver lining to this story is that I'm going back to that little slice of heaven that I call home in a matter of hours and I can't wait=)

Updates, updates, updates

2010-07-31T21:56:00.001-04:00

So its been almost 2 months since my last post and suffice to say A LOT has been happening...

First ~ I FINALLY got my own place=) It's just me for now, but my sister will be moving in shortly. Although I have absolutely NO furniture it['s my home and I did it all by myself.

Second ~ I'm in the process of applying, applying, applying and applying for a job so that I may purchase my own car...but the economy pretty much sucks here right now so I'm having a slight problem...but I shan't give up!

Honestly, that's all that's been happening in my world. Hunting for a job, furniture and a car is had work when u have little to no money=( But I'm working on it. I'm going to my parents house for a few days next week so we'll see what I can come up with...wish me luck!

Until the next post

Jasmine

Keep the faith

2010-06-03T00:21:00.004-04:00

That's definitely something I've been having difficulty doing, due to my current housing/financial situation. I'm really ready to have a good paying job so I can get over this hurdle that just won't move out of my way. But every time I get ready to give up I just remember these words a wise woman once told me;

you're supposed to stumble and fall in life, that way when you reach your ultimate goal you appreciate it that much more!

Teenage years= OVER!

2010-05-26T17:18:00.002-04:00

Yesterday was my 20th birthday, and I had an absolute blast!

My friends and I started celebrating at 12 am with a dance party that lasted for a few hours, and then we all went to bed(lol). I woke up the next day around 12pm and my boyfriend came to pick me up, so he could make my cake=) I was genuinely touched because not only did he make me a cake, but he also made me chicken parmesan=)

I came back to school to share my birthday cake with my "extended family" and then I chilled out in the room, until it was time to go out.

I went to a local bar called the Pour House with my sister, and her "friend", my suite mate, my boyfriend, and another one of my guy friends and we truly enjoyed ourselves!

My 20th birthday was the best birthday that I have ever had...

Pre Birthday Blues

2010-05-22T19:28:00.002-04:00

So it's just a few days before my birthday and I'm miserable! My life has successfully turned into complete and utter chaos. School is over, but I'm in summer school and still working, my parents won't leave me alone and on top of that my personal life keeps taking hit after hit!

I'm honestly to the point of saying forget everything and everyone and spending my birthday in bed, ALONE. Which is how I'll be spending it anyway because no one is going to be available, for the simple fact that my birthday falls on a Tuesday =(

Suffice to say, my 20th birthday is shaping up to pretty much suck!

Summersummersummer time!!!!!

2010-05-17T10:03:00.002-04:00

So school is officially out for the summer and has been for about a week now. Summer sessions have begun and guess who's and RA for the summer...ME! Ok, so it's not a real job, but I still get paid nonetheless.
I also have made the decision to to OFFICIALLY move to North Carolina...pause for excited gasp...my parents are slowly letting go of the purse strings! So I'm in North Carolina for the summer=) I'll probably be visiting the family for the fourth of July, and after that I'll be getting an apartment!!!!!!

In other news, the 20th birthday is in a few days!! I have no clue as to what I'll be doing, but since I'll be surrounded by my"extended family" I'm sure I'll be having a good time=)

So I guess I'm gonna do this whole summer school thing, I figure I might as well be productive if I'm gonna be here for the summer...so let the good times roll and here's to a wonderful summer!

Let the purge begin...

2010-04-19T22:12:00.003-04:00

I swear one of these days I'm just going to let EVERYONE know how I truly feel about them.

I guess all of this is coming from the simple fact that I lost someone close to me over the weekend, and I never got the chance to tell him goodbye, and that I appreciated everything he had ever done for me. Everything is finally coming to a head, I'm feeling so many emotions all at once, but the one that is prominent is loss. I've lost my grandmother, one of my best friends and people that I considered to be part of my "extended" family.

I guess my life has become one of those story of the week deals...you never really know who your friends are until you go through something devastating. And let me tell you that I have lost a number of "friends"in the last few months. I never really realized that I am honestly alone in this world. I have no one that I can truly go to and tell everything that is going on in my world.

I'm kinda tired of dealing with things by myself, I'm always there for other people. It makes me feel like people don't care that I'm going through my own problems...they just want me to drop everything and be there for them when they call...but what about me????? When is it my turn to vent to others and get advice?

Let's just say that I'm over people..I'm about to purge every source in my life,
if I don't feel that you are benefiting my life in any way, shape or form then see ya!

Again with the drama!?

2010-04-17T18:01:00.003-04:00

ARGGGGGH!
So that's how I'm feeling at this moment...I am SO SICK of people speaking on subjects they know NOTHING about...namely MY life.

TO ALL MY HATERS

I'm sorry that your life is so sad and boring that you have nothing to better to do than talk shit about me. I know I'm pretty and everything but I really need you to focus on something other than me. Please find something PRODUCTIVE to do. But I do have 1 request...so that we may bypass this whole episode again, please direct all questions, comments, concerns, etc about me to me! You may now return to your miserable little lives...

Jasmine

Updates!

2010-04-05T23:34:00.002-04:00

Where to begin...A lot has happened over the past couple of weeks...

3 of my really good friends are expecting children!! Which means I'm planning one baby shower and buying gifts for the other 2. I kinda feel like my biological clock has begun ticking, but that's only because I'm surrounded by the little ones ALL the time. But there will be no little ones coming from me anytime soon...

I'M MOVING!!!!!!! Finally got my own place and I'm uber excited. Can't wait to sign the lease and move in.

GOT A JOB!! So the money will be coming in on a regular :)

Summer is almost here, so I'm about to get the body right and tight and HIT EM WITH THE FLEX! lmao

Ultimate Dedication...20 years of great music

2010-03-23T01:10:00.003-04:00

I've been really into music lately...but it's not the garbage that is out on the radio now. I'm talking about music from 1990-2009. More specifically from 1997-2006. Ahhhh my prime (lol). This was the music I actually grew up listening to... B.S.B, *NSYNC, and Destiny's Child were CONSTANTLY on rotation during these 9 years of my life.

So I thought I would pay homage to the 2 best decades of music (1990-2009) and make an "Ultimate" CD. It's a compilation of MY favorite songs from the last 20 years. I've only just begun but there are songs from Bell Biv DeVoe as well as *NSYNC...what can I say, I have eclectic taste in music.

I don't know how many songs I'll have, but I will enjoy looking back and remembering what these songs meant to me.

The funny thing about love

2010-03-20T09:59:00.002-04:00

It's funny how nowadays people fall in and out of love at the drop of a hat. I miss the days when being in love was sacred and special...

I can honestly say that without a doubt I am TRULY in love for the first time in my life. I know it's not the pseudo love you experiene w/ your first boyfriend or anything like that because I've experienced that before also. It's love because no matter how hard I try to ignore my feelings, the more prevelant they become...

Love is one of those fickle, funny things in life, but when you truly experience love it's the best thing in the world.

We now return to your regularly scheduled program

2010-03-15T07:28:00.002-04:00

I am sooo glad to be home! Spring break was a complete bust, but things are finally looking up for me=) And it's about time.

I've finally decided what I want to do with my life, and now all I have to do is decide who I want to remain in my life...it's going to be tough, but I gotta do what's best for me.

I' m currently in the process of moving out on my own for the first time. I'm so excited! I FINALLY feel like an actual adult...

School is coming to a close fast, we ony have like 6 weeks left...and then I'll probably take a few weeks off and return to school for summer sessions.

Like I said, I'm gad to be home and now it's time to return to reality.

We interrupt this program...

2010-03-12T21:59:00.004-05:00

Spending time with family is supposed to be enjoyable, but I find it a daunting task.

I hate coming home and having to pretend that I enjoy being around these disfunctional people, when all I really wanna do is be with my friends and do the things a "normal" person my age is supposed to do. Everything is always yelling, screaming, cursing, and it's definitely not a healthy environment. That' s probably why my friends are my safe haven.

I only have a few more hours until I can begin living my life the way I have become accustomed to. I can't wait...

When willl I ever learn?

2010-03-08T05:59:00.002-05:00

Pepole NEVER change. They swear up and down that things will be different this time but they never are. I have got to stop doing tihs to myself. I always get my hopes up and it ends up blowing up in my face. ON TO THE NEXT ONE

Spring Break...

2010-03-06T01:07:00.005-05:00

So I'm about to embark on the college students' favorite holiday...

SpRiNg BrEaK!

Only instead of me going out of town with my friends and participating in the drunken activities (even though I don't drink) I get to go back to my hometown and remain under the ever watchful eye of my mother (the Sergeant).

It's not so much that I'm dreading going home, in fact I'm looking forward to it. I can't wait to see all my friends. I just don't want to be around the Sergeant. She's over-bearing and sometimes slightly annoying.

It's only for a week and all I'm asking is that I find someway to get through it!

Wish me luck...

Date Night!

2010-02-28T10:20:00.003-05:00

Last night "boyfriend" and I went out on a date...We've had plenty of them before but this one was completely different. It was just the two of us {minus a few cell phone interruptions} and it was very intimate. =)

How it all started

We were hanging out on Thursday and were having a random coversation, then the conversation took an interesting twist;

Me; "So this was fun"

"BF"; "It was, we should do this again soon"

"Yeah, ok"

"I'm serious. What are you doing Saturday?"

"No plans, what did you have in mind?"

"Guess you'll have to wait until Saturday to find out"

I spent two days imagining what we would do...with NO hints from him, when finally I gave up. I texted him Saturday afternoon and asked him what I should wear and he said "Jeans, a cute shirt, heels. Nothing over the top".

Piece of cake right?...WRONG!

It took me two hours to get ready. I felt like I was going on my first date again, but the final result was well worth the hassle and was very much appreciated=)

We ended up going to this really cute after hours cafe' and shared the BEST chocolate carmel crunch cake EVER! During which time we had a wonderful conversation. We then went on a drive downtown, and stopped for hotdogs {our movie moment} followed by more conversation. The night ended with a movie at his place.

I've been smiling ever since and told him numerous times that we must do this again. I feel like this is our fresh start and I'm enjoying every minute of it. I'm looking forward to the next date night...

Broken hearted...

2010-02-25T04:08:00.006-05:00

I was raised and still do believe that if I want something bad enough, it could be mine- no matter the obstacles. But when it comes to loving someone or being loved, that very same belief is now considered useless, null and void.

I don't understand why you can't see that I'm giving you my all. I don't understand why you seem to think all the words, dreams, ambitions I've shared with you are a bunch of mindless dibble.

"THEY"-whomever "THEY" may be-have said that "Life is for the living, change is ever present". But since I gave my heart to you it feels like I'm s..l..o..w..l..y dying

What happened to the love we once shared? Where is the person I fell in love with, because all I see is the shadow of the person you once used to be.

I want my lover AND friend back.

Until that person returns, I'm not sure what to do about the feeling of emptiness that lives within the piece of my heart you once resided in.

Guess it's time to break out the Elmer's and attempt to put the pieces back together again...

No news is...?

2010-02-22T00:21:00.003-05:00

Honestly nothing interesting has been going on in my life since my last post. I have just been trying to get back to quintessential me. I have been spending more time with my family and friends. But that's been it.

Hopefully I'll have some interesting things to report soon...but until then I guess this means that no news is good news.