thoughts on growing gratitude

Sleeveless

2014-07-24T21:41:00.002-05:00

Today I went sleeveless. It was painful. PAINFUL.

Physically, no issue. Kind of nice, actually.

Emotionally, I was as nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

I dislike my arms. Hate. I have fat arms. Really fat. Not like 20 pounds overweight arms but really big ones.

Dressing is a pain because I get something to cover my cleavage, a top, and then a jacket-y something for my arms. Sweat follows. Whining.

My husband was getting tired of the process. "This shirt is cute. WHY do they always have such short sleeves!" He finally said something.

One of the reasons I chose my Precious one is his commitment to be honest with me. No matter what. We have both been careful about this most of the time.

He has been exercising a lot and working hard. He was done with my whining. He suggested either I accept myself as-is or do something about it.

So, today I went sleeveless. With people I met for the first time and people I knew already. To work, Wal-Mart, picking up The Boy.

I still can't figure out what that will mean for tomorrow. Today, though, I let it go.

I Can Rejoice

2014-06-06T14:59:00.000-05:00

In our Wednesday Night Ladies' Class, we have been talking a lot about transformation (Romans 12, 5, etc) and trials and how to be grateful in the middle of such.
It has been really good for me and I have very much enjoyed the discussion and peering into the Word from the perspective of others.

Rejoicing in the middle of, or even after, difficult times is hard for most of us. Those who are better at this skill have practiced it through the hard times. Perhaps there are some with a more naturally joyful personality. However, most of us have to practice and get better at it. Similar to sports skills (It would take me a BUNCH of practice to get good at anything that doesn't include falling down as part of the game.), musical skills, writing skills, walking in high heel skills, you know, important stuff!

I want to share with you this song. It has been about for a while (since I was in college...yikes!) and yet whenever it comes up on my phone, I still crank it up. Loud. Especially when I am in the car alone. I cry nearly every time I hear it. I hope this is a blessing to you today.

The Evil One is a-lurking and doing some serious damage in these parts, but God has this. His Spirit is working and Jesus has won the victory.

Words and music: Duane Adams © 1995 Anthony K. Music (ASCAP)
Lead: Duane Adams
Sample: Windows Media

Lyrics:

I can rejoice in the Lord of my life

People need shelter when Satan starts his show
But I've got a God who can handle anything he throws

I can rejoice in the Lord of my life

Hallelujah Choruses and praises of our King
I know voices can release the heart when you hear his people sing

I can rejoice in the Lord of my life (Sing it, sing it, sing it again ya'all)
I can rejoice in the Lord of my life (I can rejoice, I can rejoice)

Simple lessons I learned as a boy
Messages of mercy are still in my heart
Well you know I may stumble, but I still have the joy
Of knowing His forgiveness is what sets me apart
From the world, it's searching for peace and honest love
I'm glad the Holy Spirit's here to help me through this mud

I can rejoice in the Lord of my life (I can learn to rejoice, that will always be my choice)

Simple things become extreme when facing them alone
Must keep the Lord in full control, always think of my home

I can rejoice in the Lord of my life (I can rejoice)
I can rejoice in the Lord of my life (I can rejoice, I can rejoice)

When the wordly pressures captivate your time
Simple pleasures seem to hide
But genuine wonders are found in His kingdom
So make the decision to enjoy the ride

Anytime you're feeling lonely focus on His joy
When the time comes for your understanding
Peace will conquer your painful tears
Endless comfort as the Lord draws nearer

A time is coming when all the world's gonna know
The gracious one who gave His Son, visual and behold

I can rejoice in the Lord of my life (I will praise Him all my days, that will always be my way)

Don't be second guessing what Scripture has in stone
By sharing in his suffering, we will share his home.

I can rejoice in the Lord of my life (Sing it, sing it, sing it again ya'all)
I can rejoice in the Lord of my life (He is still the savior and king, just as he was in the beginning)
I can rejoice in the Lord of my life (He is the way, the only way, I've got things to be glad about)
I can rejoice in the Lord of my life
I can rejoice in the Lord of my life
I can rejoice in the Lord of my life

Scriptural Reference:

"And we rejoice in hope of the glory of God." Romans 5:2b

Original Release: 1995 Word, Inc.
Available through The Acappella Company

Servant Heart

2014-05-14T22:14:00.001-05:00

Tonight my boy amazed me. Here is the story. It warmed my heart to the point of tears!

We go to Chick-fil-a weekly on Wednesdays because it is easier and Jack can get out his wiggles before going to Bible class. (Hopefully!)

Tonight, he was playing in the play area and ran (because that is his only speed) to the table and grabbed a napkin and said something that we didn't understand as he was talking quickly and running off. We watched him to see what was going on. He went up the steps and came back with the napkin held up and half wet. I asked lots of questions to try to understand what happened. He just dropped the wet napkin, grabbed a dry one and went back in to the play area. I went in with him to find out that someone had brought in a cup to "the airplane and it spilled in the green" tube. (this is what I was not able to understand before)

There were older kids in there. Jack did not take the cup in there. Our sweet boy just saw a need and worked to fix it. He didn't tell an adult (which makes me fear a bit for our future, I think), he just worked to fix it.

I am so grateful that he is our boy! He has a precious heart. God has some interesting things in store for this guy!

Nobody, NOBODY's Got it all Together

2014-05-09T11:00:00.004-05:00

So, lately I have been reading up on shame research via the talented Brene Brown. As a counselor for about 13 years (wow), I have mostly grasped the fact that everyone is about in the same boat. It is one of the blessings I have received from getting to meet people in their pain and shame and general muck.

Sometimes, when I am lost in my own superiority (ha, pretty much only in my mind), or completely lost in my insecurity (much more frequently), I like to listen to Jill Philips' very well penned Nobody's Got it All Together. Which I share with the lyrics so you can fully appreciate her talent.

I think we can agree that all are broken and all sin.

I think we can agree that none of us have it all together.

We might agree that mistakes/sin have different kinds of consequences.

Will we agree that mistakes/sin are of equal pain to God?

Songs speak of our sin being weight that held Jesus on the cross. I appreciate that imagery. It does fail to take into account that Jesus/the Father/Holy Spirit planned for a path for my salvation, made a choice, way before I was to step into that water. Back to that imagery, though.

Does my struggle (or sometimes headlong into non-struggle) with overeating require more of Jesus' blood than his fight against pornography?

Does my lack of availability to my husband as a partner weigh more on the shoulders of Jesus than her physical abuse of her children?

Does my lack of trust in God which results in my worry cost more than their spitefulness?

Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage.

Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.

Some sins are more public.

Some sins result in harm to others.

Some sins mainly affect the individual.

Some sins we tend to make acceptable.

No sin is without consequence to Jesus.

No sin is truly private.

No sin is acceptable/okay.

No sin is without some consequence to others.

All sin hurts more than we want to think.

All sin is seen by someone.

All sin can be forgiven by God.

All sin can be covered in Christ's blood.

Shut My Mouth

2014-05-04T23:26:00.000-05:00

Psalm 139:4-5

LORD, you know what I want to say, even before the words leave my mouth. You are all around me- in front of me and behind me. I feel your hand on my shoulder.
(ERV)

As an extrovert (sometimes off the charts so),
I often find myself saying something quite publicly, or just out loud, that probably should remain just in my head. Sometimes that means I sound bold and many times it means I sound like a goober.

I love the imagery of this verse. I pray it blesses you.

I wonder what I would sound like if I were to pay attention to the Lord's hand on my shoulder. What words would I use or not use? What type of encouragement would I give, and would it be more frequent?

I long to speak blessing to those I know and love and meet. May I and we work to engage in the process of loving and blessing today!

Hell and Beyond: A Novel by Michael Phillips

2013-11-18T20:36:00.003-06:00

You never know what you might get when chasing down a free book on Amazon.
This book was one that popped up on a blog and from Bookbub as a book I might be interested in reading. It was free, so I piled it up with 2500 of its friends into my Gen 3 Kindle.

As an aside, it is my second Generation 3 Kindle because it is one that will read aloud to me. It is a computery voice. However, I like the price I usually pay...$0! As I have a bit of a commute most days, I like to read while I drive.

I have read several stories in the last few years that use a great amount of creative license to describe God, Heaven, and/or Hell. I say that with no negative judgement as there is so much we don't know about what might or might not happen.

This one stretched my brain a bit. Okay, a lot.

The author walks you through the afterlife from his perspective. It is worth the read. I am not a talented enough writer with enough time to describe this to you. I started out thinking this was theologically flawed. I am not sure, even a few weeks after reading it, that I think this anymore. Perhaps this is a case of different more than flawed.

Whether you agree with his premise or not, it is an interesting read and I do not regret it.

Unfinished Business by Lee Kravitz

2013-10-25T09:27:00.000-05:00

Oh. My. Word.

This book spoke to me on a million levels.

That is only a slight exaggeration.

This author had the opportunity to review his life for a year. Like many "opportunities," his was jump started the hard way.

I found this book to be a great statement of what I try to do with adults in therapy. I have been processing in my mind what my unfinished business might be. I have a few conversations to start and letters to write!

The openness that Mr. Kravitz shows in this book is helpful and very encouraging. He shares his journey in a way that allows the reader to understand, and if willing, to grow a bit him/herself.

I think you will not regret this book as a choice!

Homemade "Clif Bars"

2013-09-23T16:11:00.000-05:00

While trying to find recipes to improve our diet, I looked for lots of recipes to replace the soy-filled Clif bars we like. I started with this one. She is very good at describing the process and taking pictures! Thanks for sharing with the world! She also has tons of ideas for varieties. I had not heard of Clif Z-bars until reading this post.

The recipe I have used is a mix up of the two. These homemade yummies are a great snack, meal stand-in, and also perfect gift (college students during finals week really appreciate them!).

The original recipe makes an 8x8. If I am going to make them, I want more for the freezer, fridge, or to share. This recipe is for a 9x13 size.

2.5 cups crisp rice cereal

2 cups uncooked quick cooking oats

4 T flaxseed meal

1/2 cup chopped dried fruit of choice (I put it in the Magic Bullet rather than hand-chop)

1/2 cup finely chopped nuts or seeds (again, I use my Magic Bullet for this)

2/3 cup honey (or preferred syrup sweetener)

1 cup peanut butter (you could use other types: almond, etc)

1/8 cup of water

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1 package instant pudding (my favorite is dark chocolate)

I had a pretty cute helper!

Coat a 9x13 pan with coconut oil (or non-stick cooking spray).

Mix cereal, oats, flaxseed, fruit, and nuts in a large bowl.

Mix peanut butter, water, pudding mix, and honey in a large saucepan. Heat until it is mixed well and smooth. Pour in vanilla and stir well.

Pour cereal mix slowly in to pan so that all the cereal mix is coated.

Pour the mixture into the 9x13 pan and press it in firmly. Wax paper allows you to keep your hands clean.

Cool in the pan and then chill for at least 30 minutes. Cut into 24 bars.

The original recipe states to store these in the refrigerator. I have stored them at room temperature and they have been fine as we tend to share and eat them quickly!

Updated 1/11/14

Holy Place

2013-05-06T22:46:00.001-05:00

God comes close to the brokenhearted. Those in need. Those hurting.

I saw God today.

Not in the sunrise, though it was fascinating.

Not in the smell of Spring, though it was refreshing.

I saw God in the pain of a mother saying goodbye to her young children, possibly forever, God’s pain of separation from the Son was evident. God is familiar with that pain. God was near.

A pain that hurts so much you cry until you vomit. Pain that brings back memories so strong, even those standing near to help can barely stand.

And God sees and God comforts and yet pain is still raw and difficult to withstand.

And God stands by. The same place when the Son was battered possibly with the same emotion. This world is not plan A since we blew the Garden experience. God provides people to stand with us. God just provides.

Hope is present. Even though it doesn't really feel hopeful. Each breath is pregnant with the chance of healing and hope.

Who Says?

2013-03-15T21:14:00.000-05:00

I appreciate very much the mentors in my life who have taught me (the hard way for the hard headed) that asking questions is the best approach when it is clear that opinions are at odds. Recently, I found myself in the middle of a tense discussion among a group of people from very different backgrounds.
One is not yet 20, one a mother of 6 in poverty, one in her 60s, one a single mother who grew up in the foster care system, and me.

The topics of "Obamacare" (I hate that word, it is SO not just his plan.), gun control, and abortion were debated.

I encouraged this group of people to ask questions rather than state opinions. The climate grew very interesting. One group member was adamant that all those in the way of change and backward needed to be exterminated. One group member was adamant that abortion is never a good option. One group member was adamant that adoption should be a next-to-last option (only a half step before abortion). One group member just wanted everyone to get along. And me. Full of questions and ready to listen. And likely disagree.

In my heart of hearts, I am hawkish and desire swift justice. My gut calls for making people act responsibly and force hands to make sure kids are cared for to my standard. Sometimes I long for the days when this was clear and simple and life was safely black-and-white. Alas, it shall never be so again for me.

I want justice for those who don't care for kids to my standard

But what if someone with a more stringent standard said the same about my parenting?

I think murder is wrong and life begins at conception

How is the death penalty any less murder than abortion?

I want victims to get justice, swift and strong and mighty

What about those times that I mess up and hurt others unintentionally?

Will justice on this Earth really make it better?

I want safety for children, I don't want people to ever hurt them.

What if those with the power think teaching Jesus hurts them?

Some of these questions and thoughts are a bit extreme. In a hypothetical discussion, you get to do this. In real life, it just is not that simple. I will admit that it took much energy for me to ask questions and not try to take over the discussion. As I listened, I learned so much. Listen and stop long enough to realize the perspective of another. Try to hear what that person says. Consider that the answers aren't found in debate. Disagree while loving and respecting and praying for the other. Please?

Good Intentions

2013-02-14T11:49:00.001-06:00

Gal5.16.NLT So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves.The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants.
And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions.

I have always said I felt like I was having a war in my head every time I was to make a decision. Big or small. I often refer to this as a war between my head and my heart. However, perhaps there is another explanation. So many times I have told myself and other to muscle through it. You have the willpower if you can just access it.

My life has played out to the opposite. As this year I am focused on getting physically and financially healthy, I am reminded again of this fact. There is an evil one. Sometimes I do a bad enough job I don't even require help from the evil one to follow that sinful nature. However, it isn't all "my fault," either.

All I can do is one more step today
So today, I pray
Focus on holy/positive/hopeful things
Love
Show kindness
Engender hope

One more moment of self-control. One more prayer to fight the evil one. One more focus on Jesus.

Parenting

2013-01-26T18:57:00.001-06:00

My parenting style is difficult to classify. Perhaps the ingredients of the crazy stew that makes up my parenting would be as follows:
-2 parts country girl
-1 part psychology degree
-3 parts over-thinker
-2 parts marriage and family therapy graduate degree
-1 part feeler
-20 parts really tired (hopefully a slight exaggeration)

In many ways, I have utilized attachment parenting styles. I wanted very much to make sure there was a strong bond between me and our little gift. I think I succeeded with the bond part! Our guy is, in my opinion, securely attached.

The biggest blessing of perspective I have received since becoming a parent allows me to cut other parents MUCH more slack. I had opinions, based on research and good logic, about how things should be to parents the "right" way. I still have opinions based on that same important stuff. However, I now understand why parents sometimes stay on the couch and yell across the room. Or are so glad to have adult conversation, they can tune out the screaming. I am certainly grateful for this perspective.

Goodness

2012-12-17T21:19:00.000-06:00

It took me many years to fully internalize that fact that no one is all good or all bad. There is not absolute in regards to people and personalities.

Ecclesiastes 7:20, 23 NLT
Not a single person on earth is always good and never sins.
I have always tried my best to let wisdom guide my thoughts and actions. I said to myself, “I am determined to be wise.” But it didn’t work.

I can clearly remember feeling that I knew. Not all, but I knew I was one of the good guys. I hadn't sinned like ___________. I thought I had learned from the mistakes of others and I was the good guy.

The fall of my sophomore year of college, cough 18 years ago cough, my mother's stepfather passed away. I will never forget the feeling of confusion that clouded my mind as we stood at his graveside. This person who was frequently mean and selfish with his family was touted as a hero among his peers. One who drank the family's grocery money would "give the shirt off his back" for a coworker.

So now I see the mistakes I have made. The sins I have committed set me just as solidly in need of a forgiving Savior.

Now, I am grateful.

Now that I can cut others some slack, I cut myself some slack as well.

Trudging gratefully along...

Selling Out

2012-11-16T12:32:00.003-06:00

We sell the sacred for pennies so often.

He paid so much to preserve what we neglect.

The birthright for a meal.

Sexual favors for attention

A softened heart for safety

Intimacy for food

Relationship for mindless list-checking

DIY Dry Erase Board

2012-10-06T18:48:00.000-05:00

I found this picture at Goodwill for $2. I thought it would be useful. I'm sure this was treasured by its previous owner, but since it didn't match my decor, I thought I would repurpose it. I had 3 different ideas before I landed on this one.

I took off the backing and picture and cleaned the glass. The picture was glued to the backing, so I just flipped it over and went to work.

I have a ton of scrapbooking paper, so I went digging to find something I thought would look nice. I couldn't decide if I wanted to make this into a menu board, a calendar, or just a general board.

If our printer had ink, I would likely have done one of those, but ended up sticking with a board.

The patterned paper I cut into 2 inch strips and taped them to the board. I used a solid color to layer over the patterned, and then a 12x12 off white in the center. Put all this back in the frame and you have your board!

And now a welcome to those coming over tomorrow night for a Bible Study/potluck!

Learning Lessons

2012-09-26T23:09:00.002-05:00

Since the Hubs has been coaching, Jack and I have spent a lot of time together. This past weekend, there were lots of lessons I learned. Most of them bring laughter! This boy is sure something else!

Many opinions and faces this one has!

He doesn't hesitate to let us know if he is unhappy with something.

Lessons:

-one should allow a toddler to run naked with some amount of caution...since poop on the floor in front of the toilet is not quite in the toilet and requires some extra work

-fashion is not a consideration for some toddlers...boots and sweats and a grown-up cap: that is cool
-crayons can be chewed in a very short amount of time

I See You!

2012-09-19T21:53:00.000-05:00

In worship on a Sunday morning a few weeks ago, I read from The Message. I find it helpful to switch occasionally the version/paraphrase as it keeps me from just glossing over what I read. Today, this passage hit hard

Luke 16:14 MSG
So Jesus spoke to them: "You are masters at making yourselves look good in front of others, but God knows what's behind the appearance."

Oh. My. Word.

Busted.

Jesus, you really see me?!

Perhaps the hope of the little girl within me carries greater consequences than I'd realized. I want to be seen and remembered. If Jesus can see me at all, He can see all.

And what He sees...? Not what all see. Not the Hubs, not the Boy, not friends, not parents, perhaps not even I have seen all He sees. Sometimes I even hide things from myself.

What would life be like if I were unafraid for the Creator of my heart to see all that is within?

Self-Deception

2012-09-14T00:27:00.000-05:00

Psalm 119:29 NLT

Keep me from lying to myself;

give me the privilege of knowing your instructions.

Buying the lie is often a first step to complete misery.

I am not loved.

I am too much.

I must be perfect.

I need to be more like...

We buy on credit, paying later with our sense of self, our hope, our courage. The easy payment plan that destroys the heart.

We pass the lie to others. Who wants to be in debt alone? If you buy this lie with me, it will hurt less.

The Father of Lies doles out the credit easily and yet will collect pay.

And the storms come and I can't see.

I cannot mess up.

I am the center.

There is no room for failure.

I am not enough.

We have a weapon to fight the Evil One. We must learn the Truths of the Great Teacher. We must utilize our courage to discern the will of the Creator of my-self.

Truth cuts through to show hope to me. To you.

I am not enough, but the Spirit is in me.

I am loved as I am, warts and all.

My failure allows space for grace and mercy.

The Creator made me to fit in the puzzle where no other would fit

Jesus is the Center, God the hub, The Spirit is the core. I am not.

My Lord, give me the courage to seek Your Truth and not be distracted by the many, many lies. Use me as I am. Grow me

Cycle of Suffering

2012-09-13T22:22:00.000-05:00

Psalm 119:71 NLT
My suffering was good for me,
for it taught me to pay attention to your decrees.

So many times, I have avoided connecting with the Lord until I am in a tense or hurting situation.

Some days I have learned to listen while others were hurting and suffering and try, try to pay attention.

And then I forget. With the spiritual attention span of a wilely toddler, I miss blessings, and lessons, and nudges.

The cycle begins again.

God is faithful.

God makes something beautiful out of my suffering, the consequences for my impulsive or selfish choices, and hope reigns again.

Thank you, Jesus.

Worshipping God's Son and Not Mine

2012-08-30T02:00:00.000-05:00

10 years of not being able to have a child changes how one sees the world. (Duh, right!?)

I watch the son we chose by adoption and marvel. I thank God for this blessing. I find it very hard not to worship that blessing. Heretical, right? Perhaps. Yet likely not uncommon.

Every time he learns a new word or song, figures out how to open something or run and climb, I stand in awe. He is smart and healthy and handsome and socially capable and pleasant and athletic and sweet and funny. Other people think that and tell is all the time! Perhaps this is like one who worships the earth rather than its Creator.

In the theoretical part of my brain, I realize that one doesn't set boundaries (consciously) with one's god. And yet one can tend to get frustrated when the object of worship stops acting the way the worshiper expects. If I was to be honest with myself, I have done this with God. I have put God in my god-box and expected things to go my way. Then I have been desperately heart broken when things didn't go as I planned. In the context of worshiping a child as a god (and I have seen it happen) when that worshiped child begins to scream "NO!" at the top of his lungs, it starts being not fun really quickly. As a counselor, it is painfully clear to me that setting no/insufficient boundaries with a child leads to many, painful consequences.

So, how do I marvel and not worship? How do I praise his growth without giving him undue credit? How do I teach him that I love him unconditionally while still having reasonable expectations?

Those questions are familiar to thinking parents, I am certain.

And this day, there are mostly questions and not good answers. I praise him for the sweat and try rather than praising for the things God has done for him. I love him with words and hugs and kisses and gifts and discipline and prayer. Lots of all of those.

The Maker of Families gave us our boy and will see us through. There are many thinking parents with whom we seek wisdom. And we love and remain grateful to the Maker of our family.

A Blessing

2012-07-11T04:38:00.001-05:00

Alone in a hotel room 2 hours from my guys, I awake at 4am. Since my first Beth Moore study, when I wake up in the middle of the night like this, I try to listen. It always seems there is someone to pray about, a Scripture that I need to absorb (for myself or another), or something of the like.

These awake times have become a blessing.

I have been reading the Chronological reading plan through the You version Bible app for several months and discovered this today.

1 Chronicles 28:20 NLT
Then David continued, “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don’t be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. He will see to it that all the work related to the Temple of the LORD is finished

This in the context of David talking to Solomon and giving him instruction about building the Temple. This is after many chapters outlining the many consequences David's older children, and David himself, have faced as a result of negligent/distracted parenting, it is interesting to see this side of David as a father. It offers hope, in my estimation. David still has much to teach. He is still God's chosen. He still commands respect. His previous mistakes are not the only thing that will define him.

May this also be said of me!

When I read this particular passage, I heard the words in my head in my own daddy's voice. It was very much something like he would say: Get in there and get to work, stick to the plan, work hard, God will bless you. Do the right thing, you know what that is. This line of thinking is/was not absent from my mom's encouragement, ether. Not by a long shot.

Not quite "pull yourself up by your bootstraps." More "trust the plan."

God blesses us when we choose to serve God (almost) regardless of the path we take to do so.

David and Solomon's plans for the Temple, as handed down "through the Spirit" in some translations or "I have in mind" in some as stated in verse 19, were much more clearly from God than the plans laid out in many of out lives. However, in Scripture it is clear: God's work WILL be finished.

If I live a life that helps with finishing the work of the Temple/Body/Family of God rather than living a life that stands in the way of this, I am "do[ing] the work."

I know how I plan to "do the work" today. How will you? I pray you do so with courage and strength.

Abortion

2012-07-06T10:30:00.000-05:00

Average cost of an abortion in America? $450.
Average cost to adopt? $5000-$40,000.
(not sure of the credit but will list if I find it)

This picture was passed around via Facebook recently. When I saw it, I was moved to tears. My first thought was overwhelming gratitude that our boy's precious tummy-mama did not take this route.

You might notice that I did not call it "the easy route." See, I do think abortion is murder. Horrible, awful murder. Life begins at conception. Of that I have no doubt.

Yet I cannot look at abortion as an easy route. I know there are some who see abortion as just another way to simply get out of having to pay immediate consequences for their choices. I also know there are some who mourn their choice and only take this route when they feel they have no other feasible option.

It is always easier to make a decision about something when not in an emotional crisis. For all of us. I would say a pregnancy that you did not plan for is an emotional crisis.

I praise God that I get to be an adoptive mom. In counseling situations, I let my bias be known. I don't try to sway, but I don't sit quietly. I have talked with would've-been moms who don't always fully regret their choice to abort, but do experience their loss.

Please consider these things if/when you make statements about this issue. Know that God loves all and we all have messed up in some way or another. Love first. Nurture first. Encourage first. Discipline (or whatever it should be called) comes after this.

Thankful Today

2012-07-04T22:14:00.000-05:00

Eating

2012-07-03T18:46:00.001-05:00

Put your food in your mouth and not your eyes.

Really, Lord? Are you sure!?

2012-06-11T03:25:00.000-05:00

Over the last few weeks, we have needed childcare for our boy as my husband is venturing out into the work world from the house. The several months he has had at home with our Little have been good for both of them. Our little guy has been staying with friends from church, a couple of different families. They have remarked at how our little guy, now 21 months, is laid back, has a gentle spirit, and is a leader/helper.
I knew these things about him but it was quite different to have others notice.

I have been really impacted by this new life stage. We have a great responsibility in molding this sweet life. I knew that, but the intensity of this fact was not as strong until the father in one family pointed out what a great spirit our guy possesses.

It was then that I began to mull over my life choices. How am I molding him? What kind of man am I building his spirit into? Heavy stuff, I know. We are so grateful to have this little guy in our family. Yet my fearfulness is not easily assuaged. Will I/we be able to mold him into the man God wants him to be? Do I/we have what it takes? Lord, are you sure?

So, I will focus on the journey and make sure he knows I love him. I will so my personal work so that I don't become a hindrance to his growth. He will have lots of positive influences through family, both church and blood/adoptive. He will be pushed so that he needs to make the hard decisions while we have the ability and time to continue to mold him (rather than wait until he is a magic number and just throw him to the wolves). We will make sure he has the opportunity to come into contact with the easy and hard to love people and be encouraged to show love to them all. We have and will continue to cover his journey in prayer and love him as we want him to love others.

Our little ham

I am certain that there will continue to be uncertainty, fear, guilt, and insecurity. That seems to be the badge of parenthood. However, God gave us this precious boy and we will keep working to show him God's will and way.