General Thoughts On American Culture (or Lack Of)

How we bleed money on what we don’t need and would actually live better without (There is a sucker born every minute)

noreply@blogger.com (Shrek) — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 19:45:00 +0000

This list of frivolous nonsense is maybe why we are fat and dumb. I can say as I have evaluated this stuff and made adjustments, my life has improved.

Cable TV- DVR, HD, Premium, this package that package, do you really need it? If you must have it go with the bare minimum. I certainly can live without ESPN-OchoCinco in low grade HD. (Yes Ladies and Gentlemen ESPN is NOT broadcast in the high grade HD. AND, read up on HD it is a rip off). I would be better served coaching my kids’ soccer team or taking a walk with the dog.

Eating Out- Why do we eat out? Does it really save time to load the vehicle, drive to the restaurant, wait for a table, order overpriced beer and soft drinks, reheated frozen dishes, tip the lousy service and leave feeling poor, fat and broke? The “atmosphere” in my back yard with the kids yelling, the grill smoking and a cooler full of cheap beer is what I call Saturday night.

Cell Phones-3G/4G, Mobile Web, mobile who the hell cares. Really, level with me, does the app for the level really come in handy for hanging your wife’s pictures or did you eye ball it anyways? I for one don’t need a brain tumor or an app for it.

Vehicles-VXLT SUPER LEATHER FUEL GUZZLER. Do me a favor. Figure how many hours are in one week - 168. Now figure how many hours you drive a week - 8. Now take the number of hours per week driven and divide by the number hours in a week 8/168 = 4.7%, 4.7% of my time is in a vehicle. And 56 hours per week is spent sleeping, which is 33% of my time. So tell me why people will pay $50,000 for a vehicle and $300 on a bed?!?!?!

Water- To me this is self-explanatory. I can go anywhere, and I mean anywhere and get water why would I buy it? I pay $50 a month to have it pumped to my house already. When corporations begin selling air these people will buy it. Kinda sad.

Credit Cards/Debit Cards- Let me get this straight. I give you my money, you give me this card, I swipe the card and you charge me for using the card. But, if I don’t give you my money and I don’t swipe the card, you can’t charge me to use the card? I’ll pay cash you keep your deceptively expensive and thieving convenience.

Gadgets- Why do I need anything other than a spoon to stir my eggs or a knife to cut my onions or tissues to wipe my glasses? Spray on water proofing? Quick Chops? Mighty putty? Give me a break. I have a Swiss army knife and duct tape. F*ck Off!

Pop/Soda/Soft Drinks- 1.7 billion servings per day. That is coca cola alone. If you don’t understand why this is dumb see purchasing water above. Make some sun tea and save the sugar water for the lab rats.

Magazines/Periodicals- We have internet, you already pay for the smart phone and you still get newspapers and magazines in the mail? Each periodical you “recycle” (B*ll Sh*t, I saw it in your trash) is like throwing away cash or letting the bank who issued your debit card throw away your cash.

Holidays/Birthdays, Etc.- Does Johnny really need a 4’ x 4’ sheet cake with this month’s favorite Disney creation spray painted on it and all of the toys to match each time he gets closer to having to pay his own taxes? Surely we can find better ways to show our little ones we love them and more than once a year?

Satellite Radio- Really, once again I am not going to pay to have something pumped into my vehicle to use for half of that 4% of my life we calculated above.

Name Brands- I’ll bend the rules we are laying out on this one. I like decent things. BUT. BUT. I will shop for bargains and if the generic is as suitable as the name brand and many cases it is and/or even exceeds name brand standards, I’ll go generic. Seriously, broccoli is broccoli, bleach is bleach, paper towels are paper towels, toilet cleaner is toilet cleaner.

Mortgage/Excessive Rent- If you can’t afford it, don’t buy it. If it won’t resell, don’t buy it. If has more bedrooms than Buckingham Palace it might be over kill. Just because you were pre-approved for a million dollar mortgage don’t mean you need a million dollar mortgage. And, like everything else, don’t forget the fees and taxes because those are part of the monthly milking too.

Make Up- Looking nice is one thing. Having the $8.00/hour “expert” at the Clinique counter sell it to you doesn’t make it work better.

Grooming- My wife learned how to cut hair, I cut my son’s hair. My wife handles my daughter’s hair. That is a minimum of $550.00 a year we don’t give away.

Clothing- This should be occasion appropriate. The nice clothes should be presentable; the casual clothes should be presentable. One should always be clean. But people who would pay $200 for jeans are plain loony. Are they stitched with some sort of NASA developed thread that will never wear out? Oh, that scary looking old lady on Desperate Housewives wore them; well then by all means get 5 pairs! I hope you can gather the sarcasm dripping off the last statement.

Gym Memberships- There are certainly sidewalks where you live. Use them, you have to pay the taxes if you do or don’t, might as well take advantage. If you are fortunate enough to live where there aren’t sidewalks, well then push mow your yard.

We as a culture have gotten lazy and dumb. These things don’t make our lives better. They make us fat, ignorant and broke. Do yourself a favor keep your money and learn how to take care of yourselves because the corporate spoon fed junk we seem to think we need is only killing us, making our children dumb and leaving us with empty bank accounts and a broken culture.

Our Personal Liberties have been Revoked by us, Ourselves

noreply@blogger.com (Shrek) — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 03:52:00 +0000

While technically the Bill of Rights still stands, we live in a version of the United States where "He who has the gold, makes the rules" I was at Wal-Mart and as my wife, kids and I exited the store with our groceries we were stopped and made to show our receipt before we could we leave. That isn't freedom, that isn't in line with law, state law dictates that once I pay for something, I don't need to show ownership of it. It makes me feel oppressed, threatened, accused and guilty before proven innocent. It isn't legal but that's Walmart policy.

I am ashamed to say I looked at my daughter and said "hand the nice lady our receipt". I went home angry and annoyed and I found this blog about this exact situation...Graceful Wal-Mart Receipt Refusal.

The next weekend we returned for our weekly grocery trip. The kids were fighting over who got to hold the receipt so I ripped it in half and handed one to each of my children. Again as we left we were stopped and asked to present our receipt. I said ma'am, if you want to get it from them and put it back together be my guest. She glanced at my kids who were clutching booger covered shards of the receipt. She glanced at me and I smiled and we left.

People have gotten too passive. People are too ignorant to say no sometimes. The only way we can fix our country is to be Americans, know our rights and fight for them.

Spurts

noreply@blogger.com (Shrek) — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 04:25:00 +0000

My inspiration for the cartoons comes in spurts. I'm trying to pinpoint the blend of circumstances that sparks my lame creativity. I am curious if anyone actually reads the posts. I am curious if anyone has ever laughed at the posts. I have a handful of unpublished cartoons that I can't seem to make funny or relevant. I was just doodling. But really isn't that really what all of the cartoons are?

The character I draw was made in 7th grade. I can never truly share the honest inspiration for the character but if you email me... concretecruncher ...and I am in the mood I may email back a link to the video on youtube.

It was recently brought to my attention that I watch more cartoons than my kids. This is a similar observation a classmate shared with me in high school. Hey, just because I am 33 doesn't mean I can't like crayons. I love crayons, who doesn't?

Recently it was pointed out that I am quirky. I guess I always knew this. I think the quirkiness is a cover up for my Alpha male tendencies. Once In college I was asked if I used steroids. I didn't but I had a lot of adolescent male aggression to work out. So to deal with the aggression and the self destructive tendencies of the Alpha male behavior I defensively developed an odd sense of humor.

With all of that said, WTF is the point? Well this is the point...there isn't one.

Chinese food is going to be demise of Americans

noreply@blogger.com (Shrek) — Sun, 06 Feb 2011 22:03:00 +0000

They put something in the Chinese Food...
Not sure what it is...

Car Pool Politics

noreply@blogger.com (Shrek) — Sat, 05 Feb 2011 15:40:00 +0000

So I asked a guy at work if he wanted to carpool. He seemed excited. Then his old carpool partner came to town and we broke up.

Whatever.

Politics are in everything we do.

Fascinating.

I really don't always grunt and scratch I swear!

noreply@blogger.com (Shrek) — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 23:50:00 +0000

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.I heard this quote form a co-worker...It is the truest single statement I have heard in a long time.

If you are married, been married or going to get married the following requires NO explanation...

As far as I am concerned feed me, smile and scratch my belly and I'm yours.

Return Home After Business Travel

noreply@blogger.com (Shrek) — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 04:03:00 +0000

The kids have a way of making me feel loved. I guess that ain't so bad or, Is it?

A Weekend with my Brothers in Law

noreply@blogger.com (Shrek) — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 04:45:00 +0000

This isn't funny... having some creativity block.

Where have ya gone Joe DiMaggio?

noreply@blogger.com (Shrek) — Tue, 25 Jan 2011 02:04:00 +0000

I have been accused of being an idealist. Ok, that's fine. How about practical? On occasion, but it ain't my specialty.

Different generation same problems? I don't know. I only know ideals that were once good ideas ain't so practical anymore.

Rogaine for my Face

noreply@blogger.com (Shrek) — Sat, 22 Jan 2011 03:01:00 +0000

Look, I can't grow facial hair. I am Self-conscious of this. I contemplate using Rogaine on my face. I have researched this online and results vary from....WOW, I GOT A BEARD NOW! to WTF I HAVE HAIR ON MY PALMS NOW.

I mean seriously. I am 6'-5" - 340 LBS and have the facial hair of an 8th grader.

Been A While 11-22-77-33-44-333

noreply@blogger.com (Shrek) — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 03:36:00 +0000

Wasn't feeling to into the drawings for a while. Now I am just bitter about Obama care or am I bitter I am 33 and don't have $1,000,000.00. Who Knows...

But consider the following:
-I was born 11/22/77
-I am 33
-11+22=33
-My Birthday this year will be 11/22/11 -33+11=44 When I am 44 it will 2022
-44+11=55 When I am 55 it will be 2033
-I should bleed lucky but, nope, I'm just me.
-I need to lose a few pounds and get down to 333 Lbs.

You see where this is going. I am FUCKING Hurley.
Damn IT.

Gobblers Knob

noreply@blogger.com (Shrek) — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 17:45:00 +0000

In keeping with the theme of words that sound dirty but aren't...I present Gobblers Knob, Indiana.

I got nothing...

Words that sound dirty but really are not...

noreply@blogger.com (Shrek) — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 01:15:00 +0000

Lubrication
Saucy
Pianist
Shuttlecock
Dado
Bangkok
Aural
Cunning Linguist
Jaculate
Blow Hole
Uranus
Ram Rod
Mount
Angina
Fallacious
Seamen
Cockles
Penal Colony
Masticate
Organism
Phuket

Summer

noreply@blogger.com (Shrek) — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 01:09:00 +0000

So I am passed out on the deck...

My wife is pissed...the kids are screaming, the grill is smoking, the yard is half mowed,

She looks at me sternly and says...

You're a bum...you're a bum...do you have goals....????

I said...yep

I want to lose enough weight to fit on commercial aircraft

When life gets you down...have dreams and drink Shlitz.

People Who Need Beat With Golf Clubs

noreply@blogger.com (Shrek) — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 01:21:00 +0000

Sunday night, Krogers, 10,000 parking spots...Mine must have been so good I had to share...

So...while the oil continues to gush...

noreply@blogger.com (Shrek) — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 02:05:00 +0000

He has decided that it is time to sue Arizona for protecting our border against threats from Mexican drug cartels...

Cajun Shrimp Dinner

noreply@blogger.com (Shrek) — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 01:09:00 +0000

Support Clean and Renewable Energy

noreply@blogger.com (Shrek) — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 01:05:00 +0000

Father's Day Fishing...

noreply@blogger.com (Shrek) — Sun, 20 Jun 2010 10:28:00 +0000

Is this good or bad?

Kinda like the BP deepwater horizon oil spill

noreply@blogger.com (Shrek) — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 14:10:00 +0000

So...a female version of Viagra...

noreply@blogger.com (Shrek) — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 02:23:00 +0000

And to think of all money I have spent trying to be an Alpha Male.

By the way...studies indicate it doesn't work and it makes the women depressed as a side effect.

Economic Indicators

noreply@blogger.com (Shrek) — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 02:15:00 +0000

Well Caterpillar posted an increase in sales...How many cans of Spaghetti-O's make up 15 million pounds of food? How do you dispose of 15 MILLION POUNDS of Spaghetti-O's? Do you dig a hole and bury it? Do it take bull dozers? Caterpillar bull dozers?

This is a problem owned by all of us...

noreply@blogger.com (Shrek) — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 03:09:00 +0000

LAIRE, Wanna join?

noreply@blogger.com (Shrek) — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 01:49:00 +0000

http://www.laire.com/index.php

LAIRE, or Live Action Interactive Roleplaying Explorers, is a LARP, or Live Action Role-Playing Game. We are also a Boy Scout Explorer troop, and uphold the Boy Scouts ideals in all that we do.

I am the Gen X offspring of Baby Boomers

noreply@blogger.com (Shrek) — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 01:17:00 +0000