No Matter How Much We Pretend Not To Like It
Yes, I am admitting it, and it is absolutely true. Women can be just as much of an animal as men are and sometimes even more so. Believe it or not, women are physical creatures too, as well as human, so we have physical needs as well as men.

Yes, although it is true that most of the time us women will pretend that we don’t need to have sex, or maybe we say it’s not what we think about all the time, but I can honestly say that I don’t know a women in my life who doesn’t crave the physical and emotional closeness that sex with a loving partner brings. I also know that most women will go to almost any lengths to get what she needs from her partner, too.

The One True Difference
There is one gigantic difference between men and women, however. That difference is the feeling and the intent behind the sex. See, for women it is the emotional aspect of the physicality that makes us want it, and for men, it is the physicality aspect of the emotional. Women are basically spiritual and emotional creatures and men are mostly physical creatures.

It takes a perfect balance of the two, the physical and the emotional, the perfect pair of lovers, to make it work. When a women is at her perfect emotional or spiritual state is when she craves sex the most, because she wants, needs the physical other half to complete what she is feeling. When a man is feeling in his perfect physical shape is when he wants sex the most because he needs the close emotional and spiritual comfort to complete himself and what he is feeling.

So, when two people get together and it doesn’t work out on that level, those two people will probably break it off within a few months or o. They are just  compatible enough for each other to be perfect lovers. But when it does work and a pair is perfectly compatible, it is the most explosive sexually, emotionally and physically fulfilling experience ever imaginable.

The Truth & What To Do With It
Now that you know the secret of women and sex, it is time to do something about it and use what you have learned. You see, it is not enough just to have the sexual relationship, even though it might be the perfect one. No, the perfect sexually fulfilling relationship, while yes it is explosive and feels perfect on some level, is nothing without the closeness the mind brings as well. Two people can be perfectly compatible sexually, yet be two totally fundamentally different people altogether, and the relationship might not work in spite of being perfect lovers.

So, how is one supposed to know the difference? Well, you actually should be able to tell this one before you get to the sex part, really. Just in these modern times, most people jump in bed before getting to know one another well enough to know anything other than the physical, so that is why I started there. But, please, I am in no way judging anyone-Absolutely not. I too have had my hand in the honey pot and got caught, so to speak. Which is why I speak of it as I do. I have been here.

So what is supposed to happen is two people come together for a reason, such as a friendship, dating, whatever you want to call it, they have commenced a relationship of some kind. These people will normally get to know each other, like and dislikes, who they are as people, on a fundamental, deeper, knowing level. They want to know each other, on a deeper level, so they can see if anything more will be worth the time and patience of waiting for it. And the way to tell if it is? Well, that’s the secret to the whole thing.

It’s Easier Than You Think-Which Makes It So Difficult
Communication. Simply put, this is the one true thing that matters. Communication is the deepest, most fundamental part of a relationship, of any kind. If two people cannot communicate on any level, the future does not look good. Can two people have great, explosive mind blowing sex and not communicate? Of course they can, but that is the kind of relationship that leads to bad break ups and nasty divorce battles. These are the kind of relationships that make it based on the sex alone, and any future based on sex alone is a bleak one at most and usually end within a year or so, no matter how good the sex.

Communication, while it has always been and always will be the key to a great, lasting and meaningful relationship, a couple who communicates well will to make based on the communication alone, either. That is what makes things so difficult. It is a delicate balance, a balance many have a hard time achieving. And that is another reason why so many relationships fail too.

So, how is a couple supposed to balance the two? Well, they can try to work at it, but for the most part it will come naturally is you let it. I firmly believe that anyone can be with whom they want to be with, as long as you work at it. Destiny or fate, is really what it comes down to. Do you create your own destiny or do you let fate take over?

For example, a couple who has the greatest sex life and are perfectly compatible in that way may not know how or want to communicate on any deeper level. And on the other had, a couple may have the communication thing down, but the sex life might be a bit lacking in the mind blowing department and one of the two always winds up dissatisfied. Both of these situations can be worked on, but it begs the question of if it was meant to be, why do you have to work at it, won’t it come naturally? It also begs the question, well, if we work at it and it works, then why not?

It IS Really Up To You As A Couple
Fate or Destiny, forced or natural, what it is depends on who you are and how you act as a couple. It is ultimately up to the two of you to decide how to go about making things work, if you do at all. That is one area I can not advise you in, as every situation is different in that respect. All I know is how it happened in my life, and what I learned from it, and that is what I am explaining here.

Women really do love sex as much as men do, just on a different level, for the most part. And once you can see this and put the knowledge to good use, things will tend to low a bit better, for the most part. the delicate balance I speak about? Well, that is what you call live ad learn, life and love. It is one whole package and one can not live without the other, no matter what the situation or what you pretend it might be.

So please, take these words and use them to your advantage. You now know the most fundamental thing about dating that not many people even begin to realize about men, women and relationships in general. And if knowing really si half the battle, then a decision to work on certain parts of a relationship might not be that far fetched in the long run, don’t you think?

~Never Give Up Hope-When All Else is Lost, Hope is All We Have Left~

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The Non Tech Savvy Single
Most singles out there do not know the first thing about online dating, especially if they do not hunch over computers all day long at work. This is because those same people that do not use computers as part of their daily work lives do not know anything about social networking. Because social networking and online dating are pretty much the same thing, the people who do not use these networks will not join an online dating network either.

It is a simple fact that these people also do not like to socialize much in their lives, but then are disappointed because they cannot or will not meet anyone they can date. However, those who do hunch over their computers all day know the ins and outs of socializing online, which is all online dating really is and they do manage to get to the most dates or messages from people wanting to meet them.

You see, the way people go about online dating is just as important as the preparations we make to profiles, such as the photos we put up or the personal information about ourselves we write… Then if a single person wanting to find someone doesn’t know about the social networking aspect of online dating-or in general-they will not have the ability to get their profiles together in an organized and traffic getting way.

How to Help
So what is the solution to help these would be online daters who know nothing about social networking? Help them understand! Teach them how to be a social networking butterfly then watch them watch the invitations roll in. If all of us who have friends who hate to use computers and we grab just one of them and teach them to social network, even just the basics, then we have done our part to help.

All the people who have almost no social skills when it comes to “talking” online will learn to love this type of socializing. This in turn helps them to understand the online world and they will see how much there is for them out here. They will see that online socializing and online dating is nothing to fear.

Come on Already!
So what are you waiting for? Go get that friend, introduce them to Twitter or Facebook and get them involved. You will be glad you did as soon as you see how it helps your friend learn that the social networking ins and outs are a great way to meet new people. You will also be glad when your friend thanks you for opening her up to some of the best socializing the web has to offer, not to mention for the date she just got!

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What do You Mean Women Lie Too?
When American women date, they are prone to the same relationship follies any man is. That means that women have the capability of telling the same lies men are. Yes, I know, I am constantly telling the story from the other perspective, telling people why men are so bad and why they lie all the time. However, women are just as devious, or just as thoughtful as men are. So then, why should my writing target one sex and not the other?

The Reasoning Behind it…
Trust issues are present in any relationship, but more so in some rather than others. However, there are universal lies that women tell men to make things seem better or make men feel better about their relationship or even about themselves. It is a common practice; for example, when men say something along the lines of, “Yes, of course honey, you look great in that dress…” Women are most likely telling men the same lies. Here are some of the more common of all white lies told by women to men.

My husband/boyfriend/fiancée is the perfect man! While this may be true on some level, there is bound to be some kind of flaw which is overlooked by the woman in question. It may seem to her that telling him he is perfect it will make the relationship perfect however it is most likely the case that she is saying this to deflect her true feelings. That in fact there is something about him she doesn’t like but thinks is a little too trivial to deal with or make an issue out of.

I’m Fine, or There is nothing wrong with me! While at the moment, there may be nothing seriously wrong, or she may look fine, there is always something she would like to say or do and she is certainly not fine. This is especially true if you can see there is pain on her face, or if she is acting strange; for example, if she is tensed up when you try to hug her or if she forces a smile to her face when you say something to her. It is obvious there is something wrong, but she either does not want to cause an argument, or it is so much to deal with she thinks it is in her best interests to allow her to cool down before talking about the problem. Give her some space; when she is ready, she will talk.

Yup, yes, of course, you are right my dear! How could you ever be wrong? No, unfortunately, you probably are not right. And yes, it is entirely possible that you are wrong, or at least she does not agree with you on some level or another. However, it is obviously something she does not wish to get into a fight or argument over, so she will yes you to death-just like men do to us.

All About Equality
You see, men and women are in fact equal. They not only have the ability to get the same jobs and go to the same schools, but they have the ability to tell the same lies as men do as well. This is not a new found ability, however, but it is one that has been going on for a much monger time than any woman will ever admit. Especially an American woman, that’s for sure. And being of the American and womanly persuasion myself, I can certainly agree on one thing, this is our little secret no more.

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It’s Inception
Speed dating itself was actually invented in Los Angeles by a Rabbi who wanted a way for his people to meet others just like them. Going along with the traditional speed dating theme, other Americans picked up on speed dating as a way for professionals to meet others just like them, and it became one of the most popular ways to meet people of all time, until online dating became popular, anyway.

If the American single is lucky, during the hour they talk to many different people and will met at least two or three who they want to get to know better. The advantages of dating in this fashion are simple. Not only can you get all of the basics of “Hi, My name is…” out of the way, but you can set a second date with anyone of your choice on the same night. That is a few hours of an awkward first date that neither of the speed daters have to ever go through because it is all taken care of right then and there.

Taking the Initiative
Speed dating is also a great option for those who have a difficult time asking others out. Because people come in groups to speed dating sessions, it is almost like double dating for the masses. No awkward silences to fill, no mess ups in the conversation; nothing of the sort. And absolutely no, I am afraid to talk to them, because you don’t have much of a choice. You are forced together with everyone so the choice is taken away.

Many people find this method much easier to deal with than having to make a decision for themselves. Those who go to great lengths to not make choices can even wait for someone to choose them. And because everyone is grouped together based on certain preferences, someone choosing you should never become an issue, as you already like the same things.

All there is when it comes to the speed date is pure information and getting the first date stuff out of the way. This is also a great proponent of those who believe in true love. Many an American single who has gone to a speed dating session has met their true love on that very night-and they are still married today as a result.

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Open & Honest Is Not Always the Key
When you are dating someone it is easy to become very comfortable with being around them. However, it is a little too easy to become a little too comfortable. Once this happens, a guy will start saying or doing things that will turn the slightest wrong words into the biggest argument. Because relationships are based on more than just words, and honesty is as important as trust, being too honest can be a man’s biggest downfall.

Just because you are in love, it does not mean that you can just come out and say the first thing that is on your mind. You still have to filter your words, no matter what she says about being honest. There are just some things that you must lie about to keep the peace with your girlfriend, if you ever expect her to become your wife.

The Weight Issue
It is no secret that when two people become comfortable within a relationship that they start gaining weight. Nevertheless, it does not mean you should tell her that you have noticed. In addition, never tell her that she is getting fat. Never tell her that you think she looks like she might be gaining any kind of weight. This could throw her into an unstable emotional state.

Think about this… Guys look at thin women, right? Well, if you talk to her about the weight she is gaining, it might make her think you don’t want to look at her anymore. She will see in her mind that you look at all these perfect women but are telling her she is gaining weight. How do you think it will make her feel?

Forget Your Mother…
…So to speak. Never, ever get into a position to have to say that your mother would have done something different, let alone better. While being a “Mama’s boy” is acceptable these days, it is still too much to tell your girlfriend that your mother is constantly on your mind, let alone how she would do something. This tells your girlfriend that you are thinking about your mother when you should be thinking of her instead. Feel free to make suggestions about doing something a specific way, but do not, under any circumstances, tell her it was your mother’s way of doing things.

Never Criticize
No matter how bad she might mess something up, never criticize her for messing it up. If you are in a situation where something needs to be said, do so but do it in a way that will show her you are just “suggesting’ she do it. Not only will she see you trying to be helpful, but she will not see you not appreciating her.

Keep Family Secrets
Just because your family does not like her or doesn’t get along with her, it doesn’t mean you are obligated to let your girlfriend know. Some family secrets are meant to be kept a secret. Most often is the case that a family might not like your girlfriend at first because they feel she is taking you away from them. However, if the relationship continues long enough, she will grow on them. So is it really necessary to make her feel so insecure about your family needlessly? I didn’t think so.

Just because a relationship is supposed to be open and honest doesn’t mean that a little bit if secrecy will kill it. There are some things that are better off kept as secrets, lest you want a relationship filled with insecurity, doubt and trust issues. If you can keep your lips sealed at the right time, every time then you are sure to have a happy life together.

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You know the adage, or cliché, people say, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again?” Well, the same could be said about online dating. Such as when you are trying to find the perfect woman and you wind up getting ignored the entire time you are on the site. Well, there are many reasons why you are being ignored and it is probably in the way you are trying to talk to women. However, there are many ways to go about getting women to talk to you when browsing the online dating sites.

You must remember that patience is a virtue that should definitely be one of yours. You will probably not find the perfect woman the first time out. Maybe within a few months you will have met one or two women you would like to pursue. But how to get them to respond to you? Check out these five tips and see if they don’t help your cause.

No Negativity
If you are seriously interested in a particular woman, show it. Do not pretend to be put off by her, or she will see it as a negative response. This is the worst thing you can do because it sends mixed signals. If you like someone, show it truthfully and she will respond in kind.

Do Not Exaggerate
Do not try to make yourself out to be something you aren’t. For example, do not pretend to be a neurosurgeon if you are a construction worker. This is another thing guys tend to do is make them selves “look better.” However, it only makes the man look like a liar and dishonest.

Only Serious Inquires Please!
If you are serious about someone, then it is ok to let her know you are willing to go to the moon for her. However, if you are not serious and lead her into expectations like these, it is also a form of dishonesty. Telling a woman what they want to hear just to make yourself look or feel better, or just because you are “talking to someone” is wrong and a disservice to yourself and your reputation.

Don’t Bother!
No stalking or harassing should be your policy. If you contact a woman sand she asks you not to, then do not pursue her at any cost. If you do, it can lead to a bad report on the site and your expulsion. Contacting a woman after she tells you not to is sometimes viewed as stalking.

Do not lead a woman on then tell her you are not serious. It is these types of behaviors that put women off and make them ignore you. If you can manage to keep these tips in mind when you are dating online, in fact, do not be dishonest at all and you should succeed where others have failed.

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The Problem
A shy person will lack the confidence and not know what to say, do or feel when on a date, on the phone or even online at times. When you are dating someone who is overly shy, it can produce some seriously awkward moments and silences, no matter where you are or what you do. People such as these have a tendency to be very self conscious and are down on themselves most of the time, they berate themselves as well in many cases. However, it has been proven that shy people also have a tendency to want to over do things. For example, they might try too hard on a first date, coming up with a speech or an almost robotic way of walking or talking, just to make it look as if they have something to say. For teh most mart, it makes them look and feel awkward.

The Solution
A person who is very outgoing will have the ability to come up with whatever conversation is needed to continue through date night effortlessly. An outgoing person also has the ability to bring a shy one out and get them to open up effortlessly as well. While trying to get a shy person to come out of their shell may seem like one of the hardest things to accomplish, it really is not that difficult to do, as long as you know exactly what to do. So how do you manage this shyness and help the person you are dating to open up?

Small Talk
Small talk is not only a good conversation starter to fill in the gaps, but it is a great way to get someone to open up to you. For example, a girl that doesn’t talk much may be waiting for the right thing to say at just the right moment. If this is the case, the small talk the man provides may be just the perfect thing and enough to get her to open the flood gates of conversation. It is in there, you just have to tune into the right words at the right time. Do this by starting off with something about yourself, then try to turn the conversation to them. Clue yourself into your date’s cues as to what gets them to smile, and talk a little. Then try and continue in that direction of the conversation. Chances are you will finally hit something that your date will want to talk about and they will in waves.

Compliments
If you are meeting someone for the first time, such as the first face to face meeting after getting to know the person online, or if you are on a blind date and really are meeting someone for the first time, the tendency of both people is to be overly shy and protective of themselves. Many people fear that they will do or say the wrong thing, or they feel they don’t look nice enough, won’t walk right, etc. it enough to make anyone clam up quicker than a politician caught red-handed. No matter what the situation, a good placed compliment will get your date to open up as quick as they closed off. If you like the way your date looks, be honest and tell them. If you like the way they smell, do the same. A great compliment is, and has always been, just enough to get a person to get over shyness at just the right time.

The Perfect Questions
This is another great way to get someone to talk or to kill an awkward silence. When you ask a question, there is a right way and a wrong way to do so. The right way includes asking “How” and “Why” questions, and asking them at just the right time. The secret is to use them when you know your date is interested in something. For example, if your date is interested in a particular genre of movies, you would ask something like How does this movie end? Or Why does this character do what they do? If you can manage to find the perfect subject and pair it with the perfect question, you not only show interest in what they like, but you get them to open up with out knowing it.

The Results
In any of these situations, try to be careful and do not to put your date “on the spot” because this can actually make them clam up even more than usual. Try to forgo anything that you think might embarrass them or make them feel even more awkward in any way. Whatever it is that you do, it is best to try and get a shy person to come out of their shell. The basis of a relationship is trust and communication and if a shy person is so afraid of communication, it can spell out a load of trouble for the relationship itself.

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A Bit of a Recap
I’ve written about this subject before. The post about dating an older man, no matter what the woman’s age. Doing so has its ups and downs, benefits and disadvantages, just like anything else in life. However, in spite of all the attention on the new social acceptance, people still seem to hesitate or see the subject as “taboo” when in reality, it is a normal fact of every day life. Chances are, you know a woman who happens to be dating an older man-but you still cannot figure out why. Let’s take a look at some of the reasons why women are dating older men and why it can be even more beneficial than anyone ever thought-and never mentioned.

Respect
When a woman dates someone, they want to know and feel that they are respected. Not necessarily put on a pedestal, but high enough socially to make a difference in her self esteem. When a woman dates an older man, there is a larger sense of respect emitting from him. This is because he was probably raised in a different generation, one in which women were goddesses and should not have to lift a finger to do anything. This is the type of man that values romance over a few minutes in the sack and is not afraid to tell her so.

Support
Finding a man to support a woman and her decisions these days is becoming more difficult for modern women. An older man is one of deeper feelings and respect and was raised to support the woman he is with-no matter what. He knows that supporting his partner is one of the most important aspects of a deeper relationship.

Loyalty
Another product of his generational raising is the loyalty he feels for her. He is a protector, which shows when he is out with her on date. He is the type of man to open doors for her, wait for her to be seated first at a restaurant, etc. This is a men who relishes the sanctity of the relationship and the commitment, so he is much less likely to cheat as well.

Why Women Want Them
Older men usually come form the generation between the years of 1940 and 1960 and the women dating them are usually at least 10 years their junior. This is also the type of man who is very hard to come by in today’s society and the type of man who was raised to respect, love cherish and honor the woman in his life, no matter what the situation. Many women are turning to the older man for this reason, because they know how to better give a woman the respect she deserves and needs. This the exact man every woman wants.

Be Careful…
Women must be careful because there can come a time when they meet the one older man who was raised to think of woman as their property. This is something that went on back then and it still does. Much like the abusive men of today. These men, as well as the men in today’s modern world seem to be of a different sort. They don’t seem to care what a woman wants, or needs in many cases. This could be a product of a relationship gone wrong, or the way they were raised so be careful in trying to figure it out.

As long as you are sure you have found the man that you love and know you can have a beautiful life with-and he feels the same for you, you will finally understand that the age difference makes no difference at all. No matter how many years apart the two of you are, if you were meant to be together, then you were meant to be together, period.

The post Why Dating Older Men is More Beneficial Than You Think appeared first on Thoughts On Dating.

That being said, I would like you all to know that I have been here, there and everywhere and I know what both sides of the equation feels like. I do not want anyone else to have to suffer, which is why I write and if I can help just one person, then my writing is worth something. So please, keep reading…

What Does He Do for You?
When a man is really into being with a woman, from day one he will do “the little things,” no matter what they may be. Any man who takes time out of his busy man life to learn what you want is definitely into you. For example, do you find he calls the florist for every little thing? Does he bring you special gifts for no reason? Does he remember important things like the date you met and the first kiss? Any man who has the ability to remember these things and show this kind of affection is certainly in your life to stay.

Why Does He Do These Things?
The question here is, does he do these things because he wants to, or because you are nagging him to do it? This is the one distinction that many people just are not willing to look at. When a couple who is afraid to look at the truth for what it is does not, then it is basically over-no matter what he does and who loves who. That said, a couple who recognizes the subtle and sometimes no so subtle differences between the intent is a couple that is probably going to last a long time.

Because He is Into You
If a guy is doing these romantic things that mean a lot to you because he wants to do them and he is really into you, then he will do them with a certain flavor. For example, if he truly wants to give you flowers, he will do so when you least expect it-because you are not expecting it. Or he will do so to commemorate a special date or event, without you having to say anything to him about it. He will just remember out of the blue.

If he buys you little gifts of chocolates, he does so when you are menstruating, or other times when he knows you need it. If you do not have to beg him to go to the store or make other special trips, then he is doing it because he really wants to and is not being forced to. It is the little remembrances that can make a big difference in the intent of what he is doing and that makes all the difference.

Because is Not Into You
On the other hand, for a couple who has been together for a long time, they might go through the romantic motions, but only to “shut the other up” so to speak. Do you have to remind him when it’s your birthday? Do you have to beg him to get you a cup of coffee, or go to the store for you for anything? Depending on the consistency of the need to remind him of the little things will determine if it is real or imagined distancing.

For example, did he forget only once and make an obvious effort never to forget again, or is it like asking him to do the dishes or pick up his socks? Do you remind him constantly of the little things or are you are at the point of nagging? If it gets to this point, he is probably not that into you anymore and you will need to examine the reality of the situation.

The Reality of the Situation
It is easy to fall into a comfortable state where the dates and little things don’t matter anymore. Or at least, they don’t matter to him anymore. Why should he have to keep trying so hard if he already has you? That is where the problem lies. When you finally realize the “magic” is gone, you start to nag, and nag, and nag, and-well, you get the picture. So he starts doing the “little things” again just to shut you up.

This is where you must sit down and really look at the relationship for what it is. Is he just doing these things to shut you up? If he is, then he is just not that into you anymore. It is a fact of life and these things happen. However, if you can figure out what went wrong, you may be able to fix it. But if neither of you have the will or the motivation to make it work, then I suggest you talk about the future intentions of the relationship and your life together because there is no reason to be stuck in a relationship when neither is happy.

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Understand Your Date
Do you understand who you are dating or having a relationship with? You might but then again, many do not and it is not that uncommon. Not having the ability to understand the person you have a relationship with is the number reason why people break up. If you find the two of you do not get along, there may be a good reason why as well as reasons why you get along so well on one level and not another. That said, it is your definition of happiness that really counts. Your definition of happiness may not be the same as your partner’s and that could be causing any problems you might be having in the relationship.

It is important to remember that different people have different dating styles and not all are compatible. It is important to figure out which dating style you tend to lean towards and then figure out who is your best partner.

Are You a Lover Type?
What is it that makes the loving and caring person more so than others, so much that it is considered a dating style? Well, first off these people are overly caring-almost to the point of annoyance or maybe even stalking. Some of the particular traits of a lover include:

• You are more of a follower than a leader
• You would rather make other people happy than make yourself happy
• You will not give up on a relationship-even a bad one
• You sacrifice anything to save a relationship
• You put others wants needs and feelings before your own
• You would rather talk than do anything else, sometimes including making love
• You give the decisions over to your partner
• You are a constant procrastinator
• You are a people pleaser
• You never talk about what you want or need
• You do not like to hurt anyone’s feelings

How the Lover Sees the World
The person who tends to fall within the parameters of the lover sees the world in a certain light. For instance, the lover would rather make someone happy by doing something you do not want to do than to possibly hurt them by saying no. However, on the other hand, the lover will see resentment and anger when things go a little too far in this respect. The lover tends to bottle things up inside in the form of resentment and later will explode in a rage of feelings. Most times, this rage will be hurtful to others and be in the form of an argument or accusatory statements.

Lovers also tend to see other people , all of them, as people who want to control the world, having something against them, or are out to get them. This can lead to unwarranted paranoia. When the lover is in a position to be with a group of people, they tend to be shy, meaning they never speak their mind. This oftentimes leads to the group making decisions without the input of the lover, which is why he thinks everyone else wants to control him. The lover will also feel he is being trapped into doing things he does not want to do. This is because of the lack in decision making or motivation to do anything on his own.

As for the relationship he is in, he feels he must completely pacify his partner for fear of rejection. However, he also sees an opportunity to make someone happy on a more intimate level at the same time. Any time his partner wants or needs something, he will not hesitate to provide it to them. On the other hand, he can also see this relationship and his partner as controlling. When things start to get too involved, and his partner really does make all of the decisions without regard for the lover’s feelings (as the lover wants) it is done without mentioning or talking about what the lover wants or needs. Much later on in the relationship, this can become second nature and it eventually creates tension between them. Then, the lover’s partner may even resent him for making them make all the decisions, creating even more tension.

How the World Sees the Lover
The world around the lover tends to see this person as a very docile creature. The lover is easy to please, and easy to manage. The world thinks of the lover as a follower and a procrastinator. This means the lover’s boss may never offer him a promotion for fear he would be walked on by his own subordinates. The world sometimes sees the lover as an unstable person when it comes to their emotions. Because what the outside world sees is a person who is nice and manageable for a few weeks then maybe for a few days out of the month, they go on a rampage while letting out all of the bottled up energy and resentment.

The world tends to walk on eggshells because they fear of setting the lover off into a rage. They also tend not to ask for advice or decisions because they know the only answers they will get form the lover is a “I don’t care” or “Whatever you think is fine with me.” These responses show the world that the lover just doesn’t care or have motivation enough to do anything on his own.

What Really Happens
The lover will also try to make peace with the world, no matter what the cost. This means that while they may be helping others, they could be hurting themselves. Because they do not like to let anyone down, it can cause a lot of needless hurting and no one would know until it was too late. Because he makes no decisions on his own for fear of hurting anyone, it puts him into a difficult position of the people pleaser because one day he will not have the ability to please everyone in question.

When things go roughly for the lover, they tend to be even more at peace with everyone around them because they are paranoid of hurting anyone but do not care about being hurt. The emotional turmoil the lover feels is so out of control that these are the people a person needs to be careful of. Some lovers are completely unpredictable when it comes to relationships. These types of lovers want a relationship to work so badly that they will do anything to fix it or make it work. These types of lovers tend to eventually turn into stalkers. They can even become violent if they are not careful. This is because of all the rage that builds up inside. These types of lovers need counseling to help talk out their feelings, needs and wants. Because if something is not done now, the once peaceful lover can eventually turn into the violent stalker type.

While most of the lover’s traits are formidable, they can easily be very hurtful-to yourself. There is a fine line between emotional support and emotional weakness and most lovers have a hard time finding this line and border on emotional instability instead. This is what makes them so very dangerous if their traits are not looked at or taken seriously.

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