A lot of us work off of a To-Do List every day. How about you? My buddy Chuck calls it his “punch list”. You know the one … that list of things you need to get done today. And if you are a list maker you know that each item sits in the back of your mind until you check it off. Then we judge ourselves on how many we got done … right?

You have been taught this list is essential to “Time Management”. These are the tools we need for “Getting Things Done”. But, wait a minute … I have a question.

How does something get On The List in the first place?

Why is that thing important? [how about this one ... and this one here?]

When I look at my lists, a lot of it is just busy work. The things I am doing are often the easy things, the things that would get done anyway even if they weren’t on the list. If I measured my self worth by the amount of things I got done in a day, this list might be important. But let me ask you this:

Have you ever had a day where you were busy the whole time …
and when you were getting ready for bed …
it felt like you hadn’t really accomplished anything?

What about the big stuff and the really important things – about making a difference? What about the activities that feed my Soul, the “Big Rocks”?

Intention trumps time management

We really can’t “manage time”. Each of us gets 86,400 seconds in a day … no more and no less. Can’t manage it, change it or alter it in any way. The whole science of Time Management is a Myth.

What we can do is consciously choose how we INVEST it. We do that with the prioritizing power of our Intention.

Here’s the Intention Test

For any given activity you find yourself doing … ask “Why am I doing this thing? What is my intention?”

If you don’t have a darn good reason – a clear Intention – that’s not only a task you can simply cross off the old punch list — it is one that got there without a clear Intention in the first place. Start with the WHY … and use that to say no to the things that don’t really matter. Make sense?

So we can all give up on Time Management and Manage our Intentions instead.

• What are your intentions for today?
• The little ones like keep my body healthy by taking a walk
• The BIG ones — like love my daughter well with a dinner date — or share my life experience by writing another chapter in my book.
• With these Intentions in mind … how will you spend/invest your time?
• How will you measure progress towards your Intentions?
• How will you celebrate that progress? [that's the fun part]

And if your normal To-Do list is not Intentional … you can wad it up, throw it away and still feel good about yourself.

Because you have your list of Intentions for Today.

When your time is prioritized in this way … you can go to bed with a smile on your face knowing today made a difference.

Please leave a comment on Your Intentions for this week …
so we can support you achieving them.

Shawn Achor, CEO of GoodThink has traveled the globe teaching the simple steps to happiness and documented amazing improvements in performance when we change our attitudes. Then he teaches the simple steps to Start by being happy.

Our current paradigm is

• Work Hard
• so you can Be Successful
• and then you will Be Happy

Research shows our brains don’t work that way.

Only 10% of our happiness can be predicted by our physical surroundings (the stuff we have accumulated).

This is a fascinating video from an excellent (and funny) presenter.

We all have dreams and goals and fantasies. It is a central component of being alive. These are the raw materials for our re-invention … our “personal development”. And yet most of us keep these visions tucked away, sleeping on the old Bucket List. Why is that?

Why is it that we cling to a dream … something we have always wanted to do or be or have … yet so many of us take no action on that dream? It simply doesn’t make sense when you think about it. There appears to be nothing standing in anyone’s way. Or is there?

I have helped hundreds of people pick a dream, dust it off and start living it. In this work I have found four main blocks to our personal development.

They aren’t real, but they sure feel like it. They stand in the way of living your dreams for most people just as effectively as a solid brick wall. I call them …

The Four Dream Killers of the Apocalypse

Here they are:

• Permission
• Tolerations
• Fear
• Playing the Victim

Permission

In order to get anything outside your current comfort zone, you start by giving yourself permission. AND as soon as you tell yourself you deserve to have this dream in your life …  BAM up comes dream killer number one … especially for women.

Note: Men don’t have as much of a problem with this one.
We think we deserve pretty much anything we set our mind to. (go figure !)

Women are wired differently. Your brain structure and conditioning sets you up to support other people first and, only then, get your needs met. The thing that stops you cold is wondering if you are being “Selfish”.

Here’s what one of my heroes – Barbara Sher – says about that in her book “Wishcraft”

“Contrary to what you may have been taught, there is nothing frivolous or superficial about what you want.  It isn’t a luxury that can wait until you’ve taken care of all the “serious” business of life.  It’s a necessity.  What you want is what you need.  Your dearest wish comes straight from your core, loaded with vital information about who you are and who you can become.  You’ve got to cherish it.  You got to respect that.  Above all, you’ve got to have it.”

Go ahead, give yourself permission. You deserve it.  As Barbara says above, “what you want is what you need”. Your closest friends and family will be very happy to see you step out and into this dream.

Tolerations:

One of my mentors once told me, “You don’t get what you want in life, you get what you tolerate.”

That always stings just a little bit when I hear it because it’s so incredibly true. What we tolerate is exactly what we will get. If we settle for “good enough”, we will not get any more.

Here’s a quick way to find out what you are currently tolerating. It’s a simple, powerful question you can ask yourself right now.

If I was to get what I really want in my life,
what are three things I would stop tolerating right now?

The next step is simple. Stop tolerating those three things. Stand up for your dreams. Ask for what you really want, then take a baby step to get it (see below).

Fear:

Fear is that little voice that whispers non-supportive thoughts in the back of your head.  It comes up any time you even think about stepping out of your comfort zone.

Here’s a shortcut around fear.

Whenever you’re contemplating doing something new and fear comes up, look down at your feet and take a smaller step. You can reach any goal one step at a time.  Fear is often a result of taking a step too big for your brain to handle. It’s as if you are on one rim of the Grand Canyon and your goal is on the opposite side. You can’t jump from one rim to the other, but there is a trail that will take you there step by step.

So when you give yourself permission to stop tolerating less than what you really want and fear comes up … look down at your feet and simply take a smaller step.

Playing the Victim

Here’s another one that stings.  All of us have played the victim at one time or another.  Here’s how you know you’re playing the victim role.  You hear yourself doing one of these three things:

• Blame
• Justify
• Complain

Any time you look at your current situation, see it as something less than what you really want and begin to blame, justify or complain – you’re basically lying to yourself.  You’re trying to convince yourself that your situation is  somebody else’s fault.  In truth, you are choosing to stay right here. There is another option.

You can take responsibility for your current situation, acknowledge it is not what you really want and you can choose to change.

So any time you find yourself blaming, justifying or complaining in the future, it’s a signal to look at your current reality and either choose it – cleanly – or choose to make a change.

=========================

When you are ready for your reinvention
- ready to dust off a dream and start living it -
don’t let these four dream killers of the Apocalypse stop you.

• Choose a dream with real meaning
• Give yourself Permission to stop Tolerating anything less
• Take Responsibility for your situation.
• Then take your first baby step in that direction
• Your first step will show you the second one.
• Soon enough you will be well under way

[and living that dream can happen much more quickly than you can ever imagine!]

================================

Get Your Copy of the Midlife Crisis Handbook System and bypass these four Dream Killers of the Apocalypse. Your Fresh Start could begin tomorrow (all for less than $20). Personal development is hard enough … with the Handbook system you don’t have to do it all on your own.

Full Details of this life changing system are here

How to change your life … that’s the big question when we are faced with the F-Word? Its the number one Re-Invention Killer for all of us for sure. What is this word?

HINT: More dreams have died in the grasp of this emotional “F” bomb than from any other cause … bar none. It comes up suddenly, predictably and stops us dead in our tracks time after time.

You know the answer …

FEAR

If Fear stops you, does that mean you’re “chicken” or lack the willpower for your own Re-Invention? Popular culture would say yes. I will respond with an emphatic “NO”.

The antidote for Fear is not courage unless you are on the battlefield. Thank heavens that is not where you learn how to change your life. There are simple tools that will help you reach new goals and literally reinvent yourself – at any age – despite the universal presence of Fear.

Before I show you these Fear Bypass methods it is important to know why this powerful emotion comes up in the first place. If Fear is the enemy, the more we understand about its origins the better.

THE 3 FOUNDATIONS OF FEAR – AND THEIR ANTIDOTES

1) OUR HUMAN NEUROANATOMY

It is said that there are two prime motivators for all living things.

• We move towards Pleasure
• We move away from Pain

However, these are not equal drives.

Our avoidance of pain is much stronger than almost all pleasure seeking impulses because it is hard wired into our Neuroanatomy. Deep in the core of our brain lies a structure called the Brainstem. The Brainstem is often referred to as the Reptile Brain because it is a structure we share with more primitive life forms like lizards and snakes.

It sits down below the thinking parts of our brain, functioning on autopilot, with one prime imperative: Protect This Human. It is always “ON” and always looking for danger, threats and problems.

This automatic protective function is what creates our Comfort Zone. Your Brainstem sorts your life into two distinct classifications:

• Things it knows and trusts. These fall into your Comfort Zone
• Everything else – which is, by definition, dangerous and not to be trusted

Here’s the Rub.
- Everything you HAVE is in your Comfort Zone
- Everything you WANT – but don’t have – lies outside your Comfort Zone.

The fallout is this. Any new goal when you are learning how to change your life is automatically in the Brainstem’s Danger Zone. It doesn’t want you to go out there and get anything new. Who knows what might happen in that strange place? When give it try, it shoots the emotion of FEAR across your bow time and time again. Once you understand this you will realize …

Fear is Absolutely Normal
It is an automatic and unavoidable reaction to any attempt at life change. No real change happens without it. In fact, if FEAR does not come up as you think about a new goal, most likely the goal doesn’t even lie outside your current Comfort Zone. Pick a bigger goal if you really want to learn how to change your life.

The next time you feel FEAR, welcome it as confirmation that you are indeed human … and a sign you are planning to step outside your Comfort Zone to true Re-Invention. (and read on to antidote #3)

2) OUR IMAGINATION

On top of the Reptile Brain sit the two hemispheres of our Cerebral Cortex. They are the home of the uniquely human faculty of Imagination.

Imagination is like most Superpowers … it can be used for Good or Evil.

Its default setting is to serve the Reptile Brain lying just beneath. With the Reptile Brain at the controls, our natural tendency is to imagine danger and threat in every step to our new goal. This is Imagination’s dark side.

Your Imagination can also be your most powerful Re-Invention tool. Not even a supercomputer is as powerful at brainstorming creative ways to reach your goals, but only once you wrestle control from the Brainstem. Here’s when and how to do just that.

When you notice the Brainstem say, “this could be dangerous you know, you don’t know what you’re doing, why don’t we just stay here in this nice warm Comfort Zone” …
Put your Imagination on the Re-Invention team with a question like, “What are six ways I can reach this goal using skills and contacts I already have?”

Your imagination loves questions that start with “what” or “how” and ask for a specific number of answers. With a question like that in play, your Imagination will be happy to come and work for you rather than for the Brainstem. Imagination is a super ally when you are learning how to change your life … and …

You must put your Imagination on your team … or the Brainstem will automatically place it on “worst case scenario duty”.

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3) THE BRAIN’S TENDENCY TO “TELESCOPE”

This is another tendency hard wired into our Human Brain Structure. Whenever you think about how to change your life with a new goal … one that lies outside your current Comfort Zone … our brain’s natural tendency is to see only the beginning and end of the journey. It Telescopes.

Your mind will focus on just two points: your current position and the end goal. Its only concern is the size of the Gap between where you are and where you want to be. It doesn’t pay attention to anything in between.

Telescoping shows up when you feel like you are standing on one rim of the Grand Canyon and your Goal is way over on the opposite side. The gap is a mile wide chasm. You would die if you tried to jump across. The little voice in the back of your head declares this an impossible task and makes a list of all the bad things that could happen along the way.

We have all experienced the hypnotic effect of this Flavor of Fear. The Gap overwhelms our desire and we stop before we start. Its a tragedy because telescoping is selling you a mirage.

After all, there is a trail leading from one rim of the Grand Canyon to the other. Thousands of people walk it every year. They accomplish this task the only way possible … a way your Brain does not naturally take into account …

One Step at a Time

When you notice Your Brain focusing on the GAP … look down at your feet and ask, “What is the smallest step I can take?” Then take it.

In my life and with many of my clients this is the way Re-Invention happens.

• You pick a goal with meaning
• Fear comes up (so you know you are on the right track)
• Take a baby step
• You actually survive (can you believe it?)
• And learn exactly what the next step is
• Repeat

====================

When it is time for Your Re-Invention, don’t let your Neuroanatomy, Imagination and the Mind’s tendency to Telescope gang up on our Dreams.

• Realize it is NORMAL to feel Fear any time you go for something new. It’s not a character flaw. It’s hard-wired into the deepest structures of your brain and a sign you are actually stepping out of your Comfort Zone
• Put your Imagination to good use listing the skills, resources, people and experience you have that will make the journey to your new goal easier. Don’t let your Brainstorm drag it over to the Dark Side
• Most of all … take ridiculously tiny Baby Steps. The smaller the better. One after the other. Each one will show you the next.

You will reach your goals like all of us do …
step by tiny step.

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Hey, that's me!

All Personal Development starts with Being Willing to be a Bozo. In fact, learning any new skill (or reaching any new goal) starts with realizing just how clueless you are – no red wig, painted on smile or big shoes needed.

The easiest example of this is to take a quick look at the #1 fear most people quote in surveys … That’s right … Public Speaking.

Let’s say you want to become a good public speaker. Here’s what stops most people dead in their tracks. We aren’t actually afraid of Speaking in Public. Here’s what we are all afraid of …

We are afraid of Looking and sounding like a Complete Idiot in front of a whole room full of people. In short … Being a BOZO.

AND even more important is to realize this …

EVERY Great Speaker you have every admired …
Looked and Sounded Like Bozo the Clown their first 20 times on the stage.
— Every Single One –

What they Did NOT Do is Let That Stop Them.

They all felt the BOZO and kept going. That single defining characteristic is what lead to their ultimate success … they Did Not Quit. This is true for Any Person who is good at Any Activity. Behind all success is a person who was willing to “fake it ’til you make it” long enough to get through the “clown phase”.

Being a Bozo is a stage in Greatness – one that EVERYONE must pass through

Where am I going here?

I would like to share the “Conscious Competence Learning Model”, commonly attributed to Gordon Training International and Noel Burch. Here is a way of understanding personal development – how we learn, grow and live our dreams -  you may not have heard of before. And here’s my intention.

I want to help you Embrace Your Bozo-ness …
because that’s the only way to change your life!

According to Mr. Burch, all personal development has four stages. Let me show you the theory here first and then I will flesh it out with real life examples that will make total sense. You will quickly see the “Bozo Stages” in #1 and #2 … they are the “Incompetent” parts

FOUR STAGES OF PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

•    Unconscious incompetence (clueless Bozo)
•    Conscious incompetence (painfully aware Bozo)
•    Conscious competence
•    Unconscious competence

Let’s flesh these concepts out with real world examples.

Personal Development Stage One:
“Unconscious incompetence”

Everyone … and I mean EVERYONE starts here. Michael Jordan started here, YoYo Ma, Einstein, Mozart … they all started here. You are incompetent and you are unconscious of that fact. Another way to say this is you are “blissfully ignorant”.

You are a BOZO and you Don’t Know It.

You have seen people like this, right. You either want to get away from them or help them out or tell all your friends about the Bozo you saw today.

This stage is painless.
You are clueless.
You don’t know what you don’t know … 
and those big clown shoes feel just fine.

Personal Development Stage Two:
“Conscious incompetence “

Here’s where the PAIN kicks in. This is the point when you first become aware of your BOZO-NESS.

In a flash of insight you realize you have no idea what you are doing. You are a beginner. Everything you try is clumsy, awkward, un-polished and ineffective.

This is where most people Give Up.

Don’t quit! Embrace your inner Bozo.
Tell yourself this is what every expert in the history of mankind felt like when they started out. You are becoming that expert. In time the clown makeup will wash off.

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Personal Development Stage Three:
“Conscious competence”

Here is where the hard work begins.
You are getting better and  better at your new skill/activity. You have a certain level of competence and skill. At the same time, it takes everything you’ve got – all of your powers of concentration and effort – to get the results you are getting.

In this stage the key is to keep at it. For every single skill on the planet, the key is to  practice, practice and practice some more. PRACTICE MAKES BETTER

Personal Development Stage Four:
“Conscious competence”

Here is the payoff.
You are good at what you do and you do it automatically … unconsciously. This is when you put in a superior performance every time and it appears to be effortless. You are “in the zone”. And here’s the mistake most people who want to learn a skill make …

Don’t assume this Consciously Competent person is “Naturally Gifted”

That is never true. They just have more hours of practice in this skill under their belt. You can bet that Anyone who is better at Anything than you … probably has spent more hours doing that thing than you have. They have passed through Bozo to a level of competence you don’t have … YET.

Here’s the Bottom Line:

“Bozo” is a necessary stage on the Path to Excellence and Success.

• Embrace the Bozo
• Love the Bozo
• Keep Practicing because …
• Bozo is just a Phase on Your Path to Greatness

Breathe … take the next step … breathe … take the next step

Soon Bozo will be just a memory and your friends and clients will say,
“You are so good at that” … and you will just smile.

====================================

Build your Action Plan to Greatness with
the Midlife Crisis Handbook

Go from a “Problem” to an action plan to live the Dream in the background
Bonus links to Guided Imagery Audio with your Inner Advisor and
a FREE 30 Minute Breakthrough Session with me
All for less than $10

CLICK HERE to get your copy on Amazon.com

… with a pair of radio shows in the last week on the VoiceAmerica.com network.

It’s a veritable “Double Whammy”. I invite you to listen in and be sure to have a pen and paper on hand to take notes.

Whammy Number One:
Listen to the Stacey Stern show where Stacey and I talk all about how to make New Year’s Resolutions stick

CLICK THIS LINK to listen to Stacey and I
and the 8 keys to making Your Resolutions stick

Whammy Number Two:
And here is an interview on “The Vital Life” show with Dr. Carolyn Ross all about how to use a Functional Midlife Crisis as a shortcut to living your dreams.

CLICK THIS LINK to hear Dr. Ross and I show you
the Dream Shortcut

New Year’s Resolutions are one way to make changes in your life … go to for the Extra-Ordinary and live your dreams … but only if you make them stick.

 Here are 9 Keys to keeping your New Year’s Resolutions and making 2012 your best year yet.

1) Don’t make a New Year’s Resolution for the wrong reasons.

Don’t make one when you are drunk
Or because you think you should
Or you feel guilty if you don’t because everyone else has one

Make a resolution because it is something you Really, Really want to change.(like REALLY)

2) Make a High Quality Resolution.

A low quality resolution is the number one reason people fail to keep them. Low quality new year’s resolutions are non-specific and Boring.

 Examples
- I want to be less grumpy
- I want to lose some weight
- I want to get a new job
- I want to drink less

 A high quality resolution is

• Important
• Juicy
• Fires you up

 Here are three quick questions to ask to build a high quality resolution

 a) Why is this resolution and the life change it provides important to you.
HINT: If it is not important … fuggid abowdit.

 b) What does reaching this resolution get you that you don’t have now?
Close your eyes, take a breath and imagine you have reached this resolution … how does it feel ?
HINT: Always go for sweet, Juicy, Amazing … something that will feel fantastic when you get there.

 c) If your new year’s resolution passes a) and b) above … ask yourself this:
How committed are you to getting this on a scale of 1 – 10 ?
HINT: If your number is less than 9 … just let it go and walk away. (or start over)

 3) State your Resolution as a Goal

New Year’s Resolutions are born from wishes, longings and deeply held desires. They have to be translated into GOALS before we can bring them to life. Take your resolution from step #2 above and make sure it is stated as a Specific and Measurable Goal. You pass this test when anyone could tell whether or not you have reached it.

Examples:
- Lose 20 pounds and maintain it for minimum of 6 months
- Be in a happy monogamous relationship with a guy I REALLY like for minimum of 3 months
- Have a new full time job in marketing making more than $5000/month
[notice how these are a little more detailed and specific than the typical low quality New Year’s Resolution]

4) Quit Before You Start

 The biggest mistake most people make is jumping right in to a new action plan. What we don’t see is …

a) Our life is full … there is no room for all these new actions.
b) We are already doing things that get in the way of this resolution. There is a reason we don’t have this in our life right now … we are doing things to get in its way.

 The first step is to Stop. Look for things you can STOP doing that are getting in the way of your resolution right now. Don’t start your new action plan until you have completed this step. If you get stuck, find a friend and tell them your resolution. Then ask them what they see that you could stop. You will be surprised how willing they are to help.

5) Make an action plan

Write down the steps you must take to reach your goal. Show the plan to a friend and ask them what they think you might be missing. If you are intimidated by any one step … chunk it down into smaller “bites” until you are comfortable. Then take that first step. Each step you take will show you the next step more clearly.

6) Get an accountability buddy

Find a friend.

• Tell them your new year’s resolution and why it is important to you.
• Ask them to be your Accountability Buddy.
  One 10 minute phone call a week is all it takes.
• You tell them your action plan for the week and arrange next week’s call.
• Then each week you call and report in. Tell them what you did last week and what you plan for this week.

Whether you did what you planned or not … they ask you one question.

“What did you learn?”

HINT: You can become accountability Partners if they have a Resolution they want to work on and you Buddy each other.

7) Tell all your friends (and stay away from the non-supportive ones)

Tell everyone you know about your Resolution and why it is important to you. They will divide themselves into two camps. Supporters and Nay Sayers. You will be amazed how the supporters have kind words, resources and  referrals to help you out. Spend lots of time with your supporters. Stay away from the Nay Sayers. Nuff said.

Treat yourself like a dog

It is important to celebrate every step of this journey … just like you pat your dog on the head and scratch its butt every single time it comes near you.

No action step is complete until the action is done and you have Celebrated it. Pat yourself on the back. Pump your fist and shout “YES”. Have an ice cream sandwich. The bigger the step on your plan … the bigger the celebration.

9) Set yourself up for success by starting your New Year’s Resolution plan NOW!

The first two weeks in January are a Perfect Time to really go for your resolution while the rest of the world is in recovery mode from the holidays. Throw your plan into gear on 1/2/2012 and watch good things happen.

BEFORE YOU GO:

PLEASE POST YOUR NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION IN THE COMMENTS BELOW !!
Everyone who reads your post can send you a “power whoosh” of positive energy to get you started.

Here is a continuation of the last post on the Law of Subtraction with 17 more things you can stop doing now to Make Room for more of What you Really Want in your life. Here’s the list This is from a blog post at “Productivity 501″ a cool blog on everyday things you can change to get more done.[ here is the original post ]

Manually Depositing a Paycheck — That is what direct deposit is for.  If you spend 15 minutes every two weeks dealing with depositing your paycheck that is 65 hours over the next 10 years. Put this time to better use.

Writing Checks for Bills – That is what the bill pay service from your bank is for. Use this time for something worthwhile.

Partially Filling Up with Gas — Yes it might go down 3 cents next week, but how much is your time really worth.

Looking for your Keys or Cellphone — Always put them in the same place (hook by the door, etc).

Unpacking your Laptop Power Adaptor — If you go from work to home with your laptop, get an extra adaptor for each work area so you don’t have to unpack and crawl under the desk each time.

Check Multiple Email Boxes — Get a program that will show you all your email in one place or filter by individual accounts. Apple Mail, Gmail and several other products do this.

Watching Commercials — Use Tivo to skip them.  Use Netflix and just skip television all together.  Buy the shows you want to watch off iTunes.  If you had a friend who spent 20% to 30% of your time trying to sell you things you didn’t really need, would you put up with it? (If you have a friend in network marketing, you may have already experienced this.)

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Losing Telephone Numbers — Your cell phone should sync with your computer.  We are past the days where a phone only held 25
numbers.  If someone calls, take the few seconds to record their name in your phone, so it will be transferred next time you sync your computer.

Commuting to College — Take your classes online.  Spend your commute time studying instead of driving.

Commuting Through Heavy Traffic — Talk to your boss about working from home–even for just a few days a week.  Shift your schedule to miss rush hour.

Dialing into Voice Mail — Get your voicemail setup to send you messages as email attachments that way you only have to check one mailbox.

Backing Up to CDs or Disks — Get an external hard drive. It will be fast enough that maybe you’ll go ahead and backup more often. Plus if you do it right, you can create a working version of your entire computer on the hard drive.  If you laptop is stolen you can start working from your last backup with all your programs and settings just as they were.

Visiting Lots of Blogs — Use a news reader like Google Reader. Most people don’t realize how much time they waste looking at the same sites over and over again to see if there is anything new.  With a newsreader you’ll know whenever something new is posted.

Removing Spyware — Use a computer or web browser that doesn’t get infected.

Wasting Time in the Car — Subscribe to podcasts and get a connector for your MP3 player in your car. Spend your time learning instead of just sitting there driving.

Getting Lost in the Car — If you spend a lot of time driving to unfamiliar areas, go ahead and invest in a GPS with routing capabilities or figure out how to use your cell phone as a GPS.  That way you can spend your time focusing on your work instead of honing your navigation skills.

Clubbing Baby Seals – Just in case this applies to you, this would be a good thing to stop as well.

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and this … and this … to get what you want in life.

One of the little known Laws of Life Change is the Law Of SUBTRACTION.

The Law Of Subtraction says:

In order to get what you want in your life … first you must stop doing the things that get in your way.  That’s right, the fastest path to your Dream is to STOP doing the things that are blocking you BEFORE YOU START doing anything new.

Research shows that this STOP STEP is responsible for up to 70% of your success in reaching ANY Goal.

Unfortunately, most of us skip this step altogether

Remember the last time you came home from a conference or seminar all fired up with a big list of new actions you were going to take? You tried to cram them in to your already busy life and two weeks later … nothing had changed. It’s because you skipped the STOP STEP.

Looking for some Ideas for what you Might Stop … Here are 30 great ones from a blog post at the website “Mark & Angel Hack Life” a really great blog on being productive and doing what matters.  [ here is the original post  ]

Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Read The Road Less Traveled.

Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.

Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.

Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.

Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.

Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.

Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.

Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”

Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.

Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.

Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.

Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.

Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.

Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  Read Getting Things Done.

Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.

Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.

Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.

Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.

Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.

Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.

Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

Lucille Ball
The Beatles
Ulysses S. Grant
Michael Jordan
Thomas Edison
Walt Disney
Abraham Lincoln

Each and every one of these icons were rejected and considered abject failures at least once along their rise to fame and fortune.

Here is a short, inspirational video on these seven and the nasty things said about them on the way to the top. [never give up, never surrender]