Three Minds A Charm

dreamers and realists

noreply@blogger.com (Charmers) — Sun, 27 Jan 2013 15:17:00 +0000

From the show "Modern Family",

"There are dreamers and there are realists in this world. You'd think the dreamers would find the dreamers and the realists would find the realists, but more often than not the opposite is true. You see, the dreamers need the realists to keep them from soaring too close to the sun. And the realists, well without the dreamers, they might not ever get off the ground."

- Cameron Tucker (2011)

Discipline

noreply@blogger.com (Charmers) — Fri, 16 Nov 2012 13:25:00 +0000

Image source: http://joelrunyon.com/two3/get-disciplined-not-motivated

Hello everyone. I am pretty much driven to write today though I know some people might find it a little bit boring because today’s post is about DISCIPLINE.

Okay. I am sure that in your head you are wondering “Why discipline?”.

I don’t know. Just feel like writing about it.

As a working woman now (I’m still adjusting to adulthood), what I learn these few months is I have got to be disciplined. Before I begin writing further about it, let us enlighten our mind as to the actual definition of discipline.

According to oxforddictionaries.com, discipline is

the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behaviour, using punishment to correct disobedience

According to thefreedictionary.com, discipline is

1. Training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement.

2. Controlled behavior resulting from disciplinary training; self-control.

a. Control obtained by enforcing compliance or order.

b. A systematic method to obtain obedience: a military discipline.

c. A state of order based on submission to rules and authority: a teacher who demanded discipline in the classroom.

4. Punishment intended to correct or train.

5. A set of rules or methods, as those regulating the practice of a church or monastic order.

Comparing these two sources, I would prefer thefreedictionary.com for its holistic definitions and the applicability of the definitions to a wider range of circumstances.

All right. Getting back to my original intention of writing this post, I would like to emphasise the importance of discipline in our daily routines. With discipline, I learn to refrain myself from buying compulsively (groceries and books mostly. I wonder why I tend to buy a lot of groceries..), and dining out too much, whilst sticking to my piano practice routines , preparing lessons for the next day and completing other extra tasks even when I don’t want to.

Discipline is not only to control behaviour but also the mind, heart and soul.

I realize that if I don’t help myself today, no one is going to help me tomorrow.

Responsibilities are responsibilities. I can never get away from them.

As Chopin had quoted,

"Every difficulty slurred over will be a ghost to disturb your repose later on."

I’ll take it this way. Every duty avoided will be a cause to disturb my sleep later on.

And I totally hate the idea of sacrificing my sleeping hours.

The Mother by Gwendolyn Brooks

noreply@blogger.com (Charmers) — Sat, 03 Nov 2012 18:45:00 +0000

Maybe because I'm a woman. Or simply the fact that I'm a human being. With feelings.

But I love this poem.

Honesty. Sadness. Frustration. Regrets. Love. Helplessness.

You can just feel them all.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Abortions will not let you forget.

You remember the children you got that you did not get,

The damp small pulps with a little or with no hair,

The singers and workers that never handled the air.

You will never neglect or beat

Them, or silence or buy with a sweet.

You will never wind up the sucking-thumb

Or scuttle off ghosts that come.

You will never leave them, controlling your luscious sigh,

Return for a snack of them, with gobbling mother-eye.

I have heard in the voices of the wind the voices of my dim killed children.

I have contracted. I have eased

My dim dears at the breasts they could never suck.

I have said, Sweets, if I sinned, if I seized

Your luck

And your lives from your unfinished reach,

If I stole your births and your names,

Your straight baby tears and your games,

Your stilted or lovely loves, your tumults, your marriages, aches, and your deaths,

If I poisoned the beginnings of your breaths,

Believe that even in my deliberateness I was not deliberate.

Though why should I whine,

Whine that the crime was other than mine?—

Since anyhow you are dead.

Or rather, or instead,

You were never made.

But that too, I am afraid,

Is faulty: oh, what shall I say, how is the truth to be said?

You were born, you had body, you died.

It is just that you never giggled or planned or cried.

Believe me, I loved you all.

Believe me, I knew you, though faintly, and I loved, I loved you

All.

One of the things that

noreply@blogger.com (Charmers) — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 10:35:00 +0000

One of the things that

COULD make life miserable is having expectations. Expectations just keep pushing you high up into the air, further away off the ground, floating in a bubble, that you start to lose touch with the reality. They set your guard down that you become neglectful of minding your step. You need to remember that bubbles pop and feet stumble. As much as this sounds so pessimistic, try not to expect so much in people. Because when you hit rock bottom, it hurts so bad.

One of the things that

COULD make life miserable is having a clear view of the past. Walking down through the memory lane is not always a pretty picture. You are tied down to images of regrets and disillusionment that you are forever stuck in your own maze. You just cannot move forward although you try so hard to leave behind the traces of your own doings. The least you could do is put on a smiling facade, concealing the frown inside you because some memories just don’t go away. Some just stay, trailing along your steps, all the time.

One of the things that

COULD make life miserable is the inability to forgive yourself. Being haunted by all the ‘what-if’ questions. Looking in the mirror and seeing a sad reflection looking back at you, in tears, asking you why countless times. Walking around with a heavy baggage on your back that no one could lift it off you. Seeing and hearing anything that reminds you of what you wish you did not do. Knowing the path on which you should tread but you are held back by your own guilt. Seeing some light ahead trying to cast its glow on you but you turn your back on it and remain in the dark. With all the smiles and laughs permeating your life, at the end of the day, you just cannot stop yourself from crying.

I know this post sounds so gloomy and depressing. But we do have some dark moments lurking inside us and at times they seem so impossible to ignore.

With all the miseries mounting on our shoulder, please remember that we have Him by our side.

And that is what matters the most.

25 things

noreply@blogger.com (Charmers) — Sun, 21 Oct 2012 15:37:00 +0000

What Sugar has learned in life so far:

You actually know the right things to do, but taking your own advice is the toughest decision you ever have to make. This is because you are afraid of getting hurt. Plain and simple.
You should feel pain. Everyone should feel pain. Life is not all butterflies and rainbows. Pain helps you grow. Pain leaves you scars to toughen you up. Pain reminds you how far you have gone in life and the fact you have survived those hardships.
The people who really matter and who really, genuinely love you for who you are will always come back, no matter how much you have hurt them in the past.
Life is really different from other people’s points of view. Do not ever think you know how they feel, unless you have gone through similar experiences because life is indeed tough.
You can empathize but that’s about it. Some people are so stubborn to let you in that they have this tendency to push you away because that is how they have been all their lives. You can’t really blame them.
But what I think is, these people are actually scared, because they think once people know how they are, people will leave them.
And in honest truth, they will receive that kind of fate if they continue with their stubborn ways. When they complain how people give up easily, don’t listen. Because every single thing is a choice and they choose to be that way, ultimately forcing you to bid goodbye.
Love is supposed to be simple. It is people who make it complicated. You find someone who fits you, and you’re good.
You can’t make people love you.
Stop looking for the perfect person. A man and a woman are supposed to complete each other. Perfect people do not exist.
Relationships are not easy. It takes hard work. If you’re weak, don’t be in one.
Know when to hold on and to let go. Discover your worth.
Patience is so rewarding in the long run. Don’t have it? Start developing it now.
Always be grateful. Even for the littlest things.
Some people are just weird. It is really them and not you, so don’t take offence.
Never change for the worst just to fulfill other people’s needs. You will feel stupid and your efforts to actually become better have gone to waste. You are back to square one.
You make your world go round.
If you think you deserve better, you deserve better.
If you ask someone your current situation with them and all they give you is a blank stare, or a “uh, I’m not sure.. uh I dunno..”, hit the accelerator and don’t look back. How can they want to be with you and not be sure at the same time?
Always put yourself in another person’s shoes. Don’t be selfish. If you do this constantly, you will feel and create a tremendous difference.
You are supposed to selflessly give, but please know your limit of giving and realize how much you’re not receiving.
When you have the blues, watch Friends. Or exercise your butt off. Hey, instead of wallowing on your bed, you can earn a nice rear.
Never stop smiling even when you feel like bawling. You never know how your effort to smile helps brighten another person’s sad day.
The importance of Time. We don’t have enough of it, yet we waste it like it’s nothing.
Despite what life has thrown at you, always, always love. Never love less, just always love more.

xoxo

Stupidity

noreply@blogger.com (Charmers) — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 09:18:00 +0000

Stupidity, in my opinion, has nothing to do with one’s innate biological trait. Whatever that comes by nature, that is just an unfortunate illness. Stupidity, I believe, is an act or a mind of personal choice. It is a personal construct. It is when you were aware of your actions/feelings and the outcomes of manifesting them and yet you chose to render them marginal, pretending as if the thought never occurred to you or treating it insignificantly, and eventually at the end of the day, you found yourself feeling tremendously dejected and remorseful about what you had done, remembering all that you had thought of earlier and throwing heavy accusations and unforgiving scathing remarks at yourself. That is the first type. Those who pursue the second type of stupidity are worse, as they are the people who, instead of looking in the mirror and learning and acknowledging their own mistakes, travel the world to find any possible excuses to justify their miseries and put the blame on other people’s shoulders. They manipulate the story of their misfortune and put forward a defensive facade that they will not let any advice, judgement, or criticism penetrate right through them. Simply put, they are just being in denial despite the apparent guilt baggage they carry on their back. Stupidity is when you chose to be ignorant of your own conscience and judgement. When you did what you knew you should have not done.

This is of course my view of stupidity. You will not find this anywhere else because this is just me writing based on what I did, felt, saw, heard or read. In reality, many people were/are stupid. I was, or maybe am one. Now the important question is, when do we start knocking some sense into our own head so that we will stop being stupid?

That one doubting question...

noreply@blogger.com (Charmers) — Wed, 10 Oct 2012 13:16:00 +0000

Image source: http://www.photographyblogger.net//

Hello. It's been a while since we, The Charmers, wrote our last post. We admit that our lack of productivity in writing has become more prominent every single day that we missed. We are continuously hindered by our day-to-day activities for what are priorities must be prioritised.

But of late, my fingers have been itching to write something for this blog. I want to write something thus, I must write something. I spent some time at Rengit Kopitiam and Old Town White Coffee to suit myself to the right ambiance for writing. (It has been in my imagination to sip my favourite cup of coffee while working on my writings...) The setting, the equipment, the coffee-they are all perfect except for this one doubting question that I have had for quite some time at the back of my mind. This question has deteriorated my confidence to keep writing. This question has stripped off my identity.

Who is a writer?

Yes, that is exactly THE question that has been a contributing factor to my not writing proper posts.

So, who IS a writer?

A person who has produced high quality writings?

A person whose writings have been published?

A person who is a graduate in the writing field?

A person whose writings have been read by many?

A person who earns money from writing?

A person who uses writings as thought conveyors?

To answer that one question, I have often felt frustrated because I haven't found the right definition. Without this definition, I cannot define what my role is, and to be reminded that I am one of the team for this blog is beyond my tolerance to incomprehension!

Perhaps, you might have some ideas of who a writer is. Your comments will be gladly received and are highly appreciated.

The Conversation: Seeing God.

noreply@blogger.com (Charmers) — Fri, 03 Aug 2012 08:27:00 +0000

Why can’t we see God?

What’s with the question?

Nothing really. It just popped into my head. But have you ever thought about that?

Not really.

Why?

I don’t know. I guess I just don’t question much where the matter of faith is concerned.

So you just believe in it blindly?

No. Just because I don’t question much does not mean I’m a blind follower.

But you’re not doing anything about it.

That is such a heavy accusation. So you’re saying being outspoken about faith is the only means to prove that I’m doing something about and for it? Why can’t we just lay low? I thought we are taught to be moderate and modest.

But we need to speak up. We need to assert our voice.

Moderate is not mediocre. Although mediocre might be listed as one of the synonyms, but mediocre, the word, it just has this some sort of negative vibe around it. Being moderate has nothing to do with our strength. Different people have different ways of showing their devotion. I’m just not one of those loud people. I respect them for having the guts. But whatever they’re doing does not get to trivialise my way of fighting for my belief. So you don’t get to say that I’m not doing anything about it.

Ok, ok. My bad. Let’s just refocus. Why do you think we can’t see God?

That depends. We choose how we want to see things you know.

But God isn’t just a thing.

True. But He could be among those things.

Meaning?

I guess it depends how you define ‘seeing’. It could be seeing things literally. Or metaphorically. Try asking that questions to four or five people and I’m pretty sure you’d get various responses. Interesting ones. Some people would say, they see God. They might mean that literally. Or figuratively. But you cannot say they’re wrong. Because that’s how they define ‘seeing’.

So what would you say about it?

I’d say, I do. That I see God. Metaphorically of course. I guess it’s the best form of existence for us.

Why is that?

Metaphorical view of the existence of God makes me a better believer. I learn how to appreciate little things in life. Abstract or subtle things. I 'see' better. It isn't just about seeing literal things anymore. It's about expanding your view and looking through things instead of looking at them.
*pause*
I think it’s our nature to analyse anything that is tangible. Question and criticise. If we could see everything in life, we would doubt so many things. We need some vagueness in life. We need some grey area. You could see some white, some black. But you are never too sure. There will always be some room for unanswered questions.

*pause*

Some people are just so analytical, critical, sceptical. Imagine if those people could see God literally? Some of us just like to find faults in others. They live just to bring others down. If God appeared before us physically, our faith could get compromised because like it or not, we’d have our first impression of God, playing at the back of our mind. Having first impression is normal. But what if God was not as what we expected Him to be? Would we stop believing in Him? If everything was so clearly delineated, we would stop learning. We would take things for granted. That is why we need some ambiguity. Some mystery. To evoke curiosity in us. To make us learn. To keep us going. To be alive.

How do you see God?

Through every single thing that I see around me. Every second. Existence isn’t about marking your being. It isn’t about physical existence. For me, it’s about the impact of your being. It’s about your contributions to others. I could feel Him around me through His creations. I could see His significance. That works with humans too you know.

How so?

If somebody asked you about me, what you think of me, how you see me, you would highly likely think about my deeds. You would think about how I make you feel when I’m around you. It’s all about what you feel subsequent to what I do or say. The impact of my being.

It’s interesting how you said you don’t really question about faith that much but you answered my question so beautifully as if you had everything perfectly arranged at the tip of your tongue.

Not questioning is not the equivalent of not thinking. Just because some people are quiet about whatever that is going on in their mind does not mean they are brain dead.

Realising Fictions

noreply@blogger.com (Charmers) — Thu, 19 Jul 2012 02:25:00 +0000

Avid readers, especially the ones with vivid imaginations, tend to REALISE the characters that are supposed to exist only in fictions, in the REAL world. They write continuation of the stories, predict the plot of the upcoming sequel or rewrite the plot to recreate better versions (in their highest opinion, of course) of the stories. What could be the reasons behind all these innovations? My guess is that these are done simply because the fans are so engaged in those made-up worlds that they feel like they are obliged to be a part of the other world, just to have that sense of belongingness.

I hope I am not giving you a headache with this vague introduction. To aid your visualizing of what I am mumbling about, have a watch of this BBC series called ‘Lost in Austen’ at the following link:

A sneak peek to the story:

(Please take note that this section is strictly applied ONLY to those who haven’t watched the series. It is NOT a new series in the market)

Amanda Price who is a big fan of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice has been granted the opportunity to pay a rather ‘long visit’ to Longbourn and Pemberley. She accidentally finds Elizabeth Bennet in her bathroom, who, surprisingly, longs to get away from the stillness or if I may say, the ‘silliness’ of her society, her younger sisters in particular, in Longbourn, via a magic door that opens when it is required (A door similar to Doraemon’s Pintu Suka Hati or perhaps, Harry Potter’s Room of Requirements). And they barter their world for priceless experience. It does sound a little bit cliché every time when people time travel to have some sort of a door-like entrance to access to the other world such as Narnia and its cupboard, Doraemon and its door, Harry Potter and his Platform 9 ¾ and et cetera. (Oh, how it truly shows the limitations of human intelligence!)

When a new character is added to the plot, or when the main character is not THE main character, will the story remain the same? I am not going to give further hints about the story. Just search ‘Lost in Austen’ on Youtube to learn the remaining of the recreated version of Pride and Prejudice.

Dear my Muslim brothers and sisters

noreply@blogger.com (Charmers) — Sun, 15 Jul 2012 15:57:00 +0000

Something I found here to guide you during the lovely month of Ramadhan that is coming very, very soon :)

I can't wait! Let's us all embrace it with open arms and hearts insyaAllah.

Me and Hobbies

noreply@blogger.com (Charmers) — Mon, 07 May 2012 17:36:00 +0000

Image Source: nvcs.stier.org

After graduation, it’s a shocking phase for me (I don’t know about the rest of you) to be free from formal education, of not being obliged to routinely attend classes and submit assignments on time. I can choose whether to continue my studies right away or to postpone it for a while or even not to continue at all! It’s an amazing power, isn’t it, to be given such authority of directing your life course?

So, now I am at home whereas everyone else is busy with their hectic schedule, be it for studying or working. But never assume that I have been idling at home. I am a person with plenty of hobbies! I can’t sit still without doing anything. Even if I’m forced (by situations) to do so, my head wanders a long way, and my heart agitates for some occupations and/or preoccupations.

Frankly, I have always employed myself with several hobbies at a time since I was a child. As a child, I played a lot with toys and imagination, of course. Often, when my sister and I travelled in a car at the back seats, we would turn around to face the cushioned seats and imagine that they were sewing machines. Dress after dress were being piled into our imaginary mountains that stood majestically beside us.

Next, as I got into school, singing and dancing took most of my time. My idols range from local to international singers. I was a huge fan of Siti Nurhaliza, Fauziah Latiff, Feminin, Richard Marx, Britney Spears, Backstreet Boys, Hilary Duff and Avril Lavigne. I could still remember clearly that as a kindergartener, I had requested for Feminin’s album from my father. Now that I’m 24, looking back at the 5-year-old me, I think I was being rather odd for requesting such a gift at a young age. But that’s not all, soundtracks touch my heart too such as Disney’s The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast and other big movies like The Lord of The Rings and Harry Potter. Again, imagination conquered my world-I performed a lot of imaginary solo concerts in my room. I learned to recognise pitch and tones via these hobbies which are very useful for my latest hobby.

Those were the hobbies from the earlier phase of my life. Naturally, a flower will have to bloom when the right time comes. From a kiddy girl growing into a teenager, face colours attracted my attention. I began experimenting with make-up since I was in Form 3. Fashion magazines were studied like school textbooks. Beautifully modelled advertisements were scanned and analysed for my experiments. I worked really hard to create the looks that I wanted every single day up until the days while I was doing my Degree.

After a while, I got bored over some of these hobbies. I look around for more adventure. Well, I do play computer games and Playstation stuff but they are all small hobbies. I’m talking about MAJOR hobbies. In the 5^th Semester of Degree, I found my new passion, which is playing the piano. Learning to play the piano is never ending, I believe, along side reading (I forgot to mention about reading. Reading and playing the piano are treated equally in my heart. Well, maybe piano is positioned a bit higher in my heart I suppose, for the time being ;) ). One day, you might be proud of yourself for being able to play Fur Elise or Moonlight Sonata. After some time, you realise that your playing isn’t deep enough. Then you’ll try to polish your skills by practicing exercises and reading the history and background of the composer. Without you realising it, you feel like you know the person behind the music. You are connected with a person whom you have never met, who was from a different country and culture, who is in a different world (because most of them were already buried six-feet under).

The post is a bit long and self-centered I realise, but what I’m trying to say here is, learning isn’t confined to classroom learning per se. Your playtime can also be your learning time. Each and every hobby that I have, I value it with my utmost attention and passion. It is fun to do what you love and it is even more interesting when you learn to direct and monitor your own learning. You’ll learn to do research, make observations from experts and amateurs, and correct your own mistakes all the way to mastery.

Dear readers, what are you waiting for? Pick a hobby and learn to master it! Let us be the director of our own learning:)

At the train station

noreply@blogger.com (Charmers) — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 01:05:00 +0000

Old Train Station Painting - Old Train Station Fine Art Print - Pati Pelz
Image Source: fineartamerica.com

I am sure that most of you who are reading this post have experienced the anxiety of not wanting to miss your bus trip or your LRT coach because you wish to be on time. It is part and parcel of life to sometimes miss your trip and have to wait for another before you reach your destiny. I have been through this situation for quite a number of times but my trip last Friday really was a life lesson.

I was going up the escalator when I heard the LRT coach had made a stop at the station where I was at. I, of course, did not want any further delay and wanted to board on the coach very badly. I didn’t understand why but that day, I felt like I had to board on the coach no matter what. Standing in front of me was a lady of my age, donning a ‘baju kebaya’ which was paired with a matching pair of high heels who was also going after the LRT coach.

The doors were going to close any second now.

I automatically ran with all my might and I did it! I was safely boarded on the train but I realized that when I turned around, the lady that I mentioned earlier was still walking so gracefully, so well-mannered and so S-L-O-W-L-Y, taking her own sweet time towards the doors of the empty coach, though her eyes looked so desperate to join me inside and yet, so cautious of her surroundings, feared of making fool of herself.

(At this point, I was not simply assuming as if I am a-know-it-all but rather, I used some basic knowledge of assessing her body language to determine the root of her problem which in this case, lack of self-confidence. Citing from this link http://www.planetofsuccess.com/selfconfidence/:

The body language of a person does not only indicate whether this person is self-confident or not, but it also can have an influence on the current self-esteem of this person, in a positive or negative way. A person that lacks self-confidence will walk cautious or even anxious…)

But this analytical thought, I kept it to myself.

The sliding doors were shut. She remained outside.

“Why didn’t she quicken her walking pace? What made her give up before even trying?” thought I.

At first glance, the values that I learned from the incident were “When there’s a will, there’s a way” and "Believe in yourself,” because I strongly persisted that she should have run not to miss the trip. She ought to have set her mind towards her goal so that she could have achieved it.

Not realizing that I was playing the judge, I came up with a list of WHAT-SHE-SHOULD-HAVE-DONE for the lady like “She should have more confidence within herself that she could do it”, “She should not fear that she would make a fool of herself by chasing after the trip”, “If she could have walked a little bit faster, she would already be in this very coach,” and etc. From being judgemental, I then unconsciously pronounced that I was a judge, who adjudicates a trial in a court. This lady, who was nothing but a stranger to me in all sense, was being judicially sentenced by me- a nobody at its core. I determined what was appropriate and what was not for her behaviour. I diagnosed the nature of her problem based on what I’ve read and studied in Counseling and Psychology books. I tried her in in the court of mine.

But, after a while, I started to reassess the situation once again. I could not entirely blame the lady for being too cautious of her own doing; for caring too much of what other people might want to say about her behaviour and appearance which had hindered her will to fight in a war that she wanted to win so badly. She did not deserve to be treated this way.

Questions like “How is she feeling inside? What has made her acted in such a way? Is her current condition the after effect of her parents’ parenting skills? Or is she raised by her guardians because she is an orphan? Has she ever tried to overcome her insecurities as what I have analysed based on her behaviours and facial expressions?” began to hit me like bullets in my head.

(These questions were prompted based on the fact that our behaviour is normally shaped by our surrounding and upbringing as cited in http://www.ask.com/answers/32667181/how-do-behavioral-observation-differ-from-judgement:

Behavioral involves assessment approach on observations, like on muscle tension ,vocalizations and facial expressions, these are acquired around the environment the person is growing in.)

I tried to imagine myself living her life but I couldn’t, obviously. I am not her. But I tried to understand her situation. I was being more empathetic rather than a judge at the time. I was no longer being judgemental or playing the role of a judge, who adjudicates a trial in court anymore. I tried to put myself in her shoes. I imagined how she must be feeling, because like her, I am not always confident, I am not perfect, and I am bound to make mistakes. If we have never erred, we’re not humans.

To scorn her for being stupid, insecure and too cautious is morally wrong I believe. Who bestow us the power to judge others? No one does. In fact, nobody is entitled to play judge. Only God knows what her heart truly speaks, what she is feeling inside.

Therefore, as humans, the best thing that we could do is to pray to Allah for everyone’s betterment, peacefulness and happiness in life and the hereafter for Allah is the Almighty.

“And your Lord says: Make duaa (supplicate) unto me, and I will respond and accept your duaa”. (Surah Ghaafir: Ayat 60)

Wedding Playlist: The Sugar Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Charmers) — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 11:12:00 +0000

I don't know about you but among my peers nowadays (mid-20s), an abundance of them are getting hitched! There are either two feelings you might experience after hearing such news (well if you are around the age I've mentioned); you're completely ecstatic for them, or you get stressed and later depressed after examining your own love life (or lack thereof). I am definitely more of the former, though sometimes you cannot help but opt to feel more of the latter, but one simple tip that I've learned these past months is, if you do good for other people, your pent-up sadness will gradually fade away because the sincerity that comes from the deeds you do will fill the void (definitely trust Sugar on this.)

Now I've nothing to say other than a big congratulations and all praises to Allah SWT for bringing these people together to complete half of deen, building beautiful lives together here on earth for the sake of the afterlife, and at the same time, promote halal relationships among youths. Things that can bring goodness to both sides shouldn't be delayed, so guys, if you like/ love somebody enough that you are sure she is most suitable to be your better half and you are secure enough (emotionally, religiously, financially, physically ready) to marry them, then go see their respective parents and ask their daughters' hands in marriage. :p

It is easier said than done but I know that many of us now are not reversing but are vastly moving forward, improving ourselves every day to do the things we have always wanted to achieve, not only on marriage but career-wise and religion-wise. It does not matter what it is we strive for, as long as we keep on moving.

Serious matters aside, Sugar is here to talk about what actually goes down during weddings. What do you usually look at when attending relatives' or friends' weddings? Me, with my huge appetite, will always be thinking about the food rather than what colour is the wedding dress (true story) because I believe food plays a crucial role in making people wanting to go to weddings. We can never run from our crazy-about-Malaysian-food side. And not often that you get to eat "nasi minyak" and the variety of side dishes (lauk-pauk) you get to eat it with. Now the second thing in my list is,

...the wedding playlist.

Okay, now I am fully aware that not all weddings have a playlist of their own, or better yet, instead of songs, they have people playing the gamelan in the background. But because music is such an important aspect in my life (can't live without it), I think it totally sets the mood of it all. And through songs, you can actually convey the covert feelings of the bride and groom and share it with the rest and I think that is the sweetest thing. So here are songs which I think say so much about love. Enjoy :)

Edwin McCain's "I'll Be"

Bright Eyes's "First Day of My Life"

Dashboard Confessional's "Stolen"

The Royal Sons's "Through and Through"

Sleeping At Last's "Turning Page"

Ray LaMontagne's "You Are The Best Thing"

Anuar Zain's "Sedetik Lebih" (I've seen him sang live at a wedding before. You'll get chills and butterflies.)

Bunga Cinta Lestari and Ari Lasso's "Aku dan Dirimu"

Maher Zain's "Barakallah" (hands down, the perfect wedding song because you'll have your guests singing along and uttering the prayer from our prophet Rasulullah SAW for you at the same time :)

بارك الله لكما وبارك عليكما
وجمع بينكما في خير
بارك الله لكما وبارك عليكما
وجمع بينكما في خير

Here's my prayers to you, my lovely friends who will get married very, very soon. May your marriage lasts until Jannah, insyaAllah :)

- Sugar xo

Think!

noreply@blogger.com (Charmers) — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 18:10:00 +0000

When you are on the verge of blaming the world for the misfortunes imposed on you, stop. And think. Frustration often brings out the worst of people. You do not want to regret on your careless actions and words after having discovered the repercussions of your being impulsive. Sure you will feel disappointed and down. You will think that you are now at the lowest point of your life. You will feel as if the whole world had turned their back on you. But trust me, putting the blame on other people or even the circumstances won’t make you feel any better. No, Akon, I won't put the blame on you. Because blaming others doesn’t solve your problem. Sometimes, it just aggravates the whole thing further.

Reflect on what you did in the past. Life is not about moments of distinct and disconnected actions. What you did might have affected your present and future. If you want to see this as a form of punishment, or karma, that is entirely up to you. But seeing everything as a punishment somehow renders life pessimistic isn’t it? And as believers of Islam, we should not feel that way. Besides, who says that our past would always be replete with mistakes and sins? And who says that the present and the future are always inevitably doomed? Whatever the way one perceives this, it teaches us that life is not made up of isolated moments. Every moment is a piece of our life puzzle. The completion of the puzzle relies on the presence of every piece.

Aristotle in his Poetics talked about how art is an imitation of actions done by men. In explaining about plot, he emphasised the unity thereof. He said that every event in a plot must be connected. Even a surprise will have an air of design. The surprise must be caused by something and cause something. Nothing appears out of the blue. Let me provide you a very basic example; a surprise birthday party. Sure, it is a surprise but prior to the event, there were people planning and preparing the whole thing. So, firstly, the surprise party is not that surprising to those involved in organising the party. Secondly, the party is not without its cause(s) - plan and preparation. Eventually, the party will surprise someone. Hence, thirdly, it also comes with its effect(s) - the person being surprised. See the link tying the actions together?

Another obvious (but time-consuming) example is the movie 127 Hours. There are many indicators that you can find hinting at the imminent accident such as his ignoring the calls and failure to find his Swiss knife at the beginning of the story. And you will see throughout the movie how the man himself gradually realises what led him to the terrible and painful experience by arranging the images of his past doings together in his mind and recognising his faults. In the end, we can see how he is greatly affected by the incident.

If you start recognising the connection that ties your actions together, it is highly likely that you will stop finding faults in others and start figuring out yours. I am not saying that you should punish yourself for what has happened or is happening to you. Instead, you should contemplate your past deeds. Dig deeper and explore how your own perceptions/actions/decisions determine your course of life, be they good or bad. This will make you a better decision-maker in the future and you will come to realise the control you hold over your own life through your own deeds.

So, whenever you confront a big problem, think of your own actions that might have led you to it. Stop searching the factors in other people or situations. Focus on yourself and your actions. Remember to bear the responsibility alone. Do not let other people take the blame. Yes, sometimes we have the tendency to say, "I didn't want to do this but they made me do it" or "I had to do it because I didn't have any other choices". I do recognise the effects of people's expectations, actions and words on our life and sometimes we just could not help ourselves from not being affected. But all I know is whatever the feeling you get from blaming other people, say, pleasure, it will not last long. Gradually and eventually, you will start being emotionally (or physically) affected by the problem all over again and the process will be recursive if you keep on seeing other people as the causes of your own problem. You will have some hard time in resolving the problem and reaching some closure if you refuse to acknowledge the role you play in it.

"Start your sentence with “I did/was...”. The intention is not to make you bear the burden of your mistakes and the problem alone. Rather, it will train you to learn the true meaning of responsibility and make you learn out of the experiences. It will definitely hone your critical thinking skills and teach you how to analyse a situation from different vantage points. This whole process of thinking, analysing and learning will slowly make you embrace the reality. And hopefully the problem will not look as bad as it used to be.

Finally, there is this one famous quote I have always seen quoted by my friends. If anybody knows about this, please do enlighten me on it; “If Allah brings you to it, He will surely bring you through it”. I believe every Muslim should hold to this quote by heart. Remember. Life is not always about being at the top. But you will not remain at the bottom if you continuously strive your way up. God will not help us if we do not help ourselves.

Silent Rebels

noreply@blogger.com (Charmers) — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 06:23:00 +0000

“A rebel is such a nuisance,” many would have thought. But, I, on the contrary, would like to offer a different view about it. If a rebel portrays his or her thoughts and emotions through vandalism, I would not hesitate to despise such actions too. Nevertheless, there are also silent rebels, who oppose certain structures or rules through artistic means like the ones that I’m going to expose in the following paragraphs.

Ludwig van Beethoven

Image Source: Wikipedia. Portrait by Joseph Karl Stieler

Ludwig van Beethoven, a genius of Classical Music, was a silent rebel, in my opinion. He composed pieces that challenged the capacity of both musical instruments and the musicians of that time. He sought perfection in music. He wrote extremely long pieces, expanded the range and the role of keyboard, and demanded greatly on the musicians’ talent and effort to play his pieces as he intended. He was a rebel of his time.

Frederic Chopin

Image Source: Wikipedia. Portrait by Maria Wodzinska

The same goes for Frederic Chopin, a Romantic pianist and composer. Pianists, back then, were admired if they could pound the piano as loud as they could. Chopin was against such playing. His touch was very sensitive and full of colour. Inspired by operas, his compositions were often melodious, as if he was singing at the piano. Playing phrases incorrectly was likened to speaking a language that could not be understood by its listener. His rebellions could be sensed in his compositions and his piano playing.

George Sand

Image Source: www.amybrown.net

Now, let’s move on to a different sort of art, literature. George Sand, a pseudonym of Amantine Lucile Aurore Dupin, was a French novelist. It was not very common for women to taste the life as career ladies. But George Sand, using a male pseudonym was not enough; she even dressed in male’s clothings as a sign of her rebellions. She ignored boundaries. She wanted equality. She rebelled for women’s rights in her own peculiar way.

The above are just a few examples of what I would term as 'silent rebels'. I am sure there are many other silent rebels out there who have contributed greatly in the artistic domain. You’ll just have to find them to understand their thoughts and feelings through their works.

And before this post comes to an end, I would like to suggest that instead of expressing one’s anger or frustration through vandalism, quarelling, or physical fights, we can always opt for a softer and safer medium of expression such as art. After all, there will always be things or events that may not satisfy us, and art, in a way and of course, with God’s will, can help us live on this Earth peacefully.

Seeing Colours

noreply@blogger.com (Charmers) — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 09:34:00 +0000

Hi. I’ve been searching for ideas to write in this entry, but, I admit that I lack adventure as an impetus for ideas in my writing. Nonetheless, as an introvert, studying myself inwardly is already an adventure. So, please bear with me for a little while longer for I am about to share with you a condition that some people in this world are experiencing, and that is SYNAESTHESIA (some spell it Synesthesia).

I was completely unaware of the existence of such term until the very last semester of my Degree years. I was browsing the website called “Pianostreet” and was reading the forum threads till I stumbled upon it-SYNAESTHESIA. I did some research and found one journal reviewing about it as what I've stated in the following:

What is SYNAESTHESIA?

Synesthesia (Greek, syn = together + aisthesis = perception) is the involuntary physical experience of a cross-modal association. That is, the stimulation of one sensory modality reliably causes a perception in one or more different senses. Its phenomenology clearly distinguishes it from metaphor, literary tropes, sound symbolism, and deliberate artistic contrivances that sometimes employ the term "synesthesia" to describe their multisensory joinings.

Source: Cytowic, R.E. (1995) Synesthesia: Phenomenology and Neuropsychology, A review of Current Knowledge.

In a simpler term, Synaesthesia is used to describe the involuntary mixture of multisensory. Everything makes sense to me since the day I found out of this matter. I could still remember as a little girl, I always looked at the clock and saw colours floating on the numbers. I thought I was making it up, that I was being highly imaginative. But I was not. Until now, I can see light pink for number 4, I see green for number 5, I see red for number 6. All numbers have their own colours and their own sensations that move me inside. That’s not all. I got very anxious when the clock struck 10 p.m., which makes me feel as if I would not have enough time to live the day. I'm the calmest when the clock struck 5 p.m.

After that discovery, I began to realize that the colours that I'm seeing were not only limited to numbers but to alphabets too (both Jawi and Rumi), which I thought quite unbelievable. A is white, B is brown, C is orange, D is brown again, E is yellow, F is light pink, and etc. However, I have not seen colours yet for musical chords or notes except for the song Konayuki which I always see it as purple. I wrote a poem questioning why I see the colour purple every time I listen to it before I even found out that I’m a Synaesthete.

Now that I’ve grown up, the extremity of the condition has lessened a little bit. I’m not sure why though. Perhaps, I have always told myself that I was not seeing colours and have always corrected that error in my head. I can still see the colours but not as prominently as I used to see them.

If you sense that you might have this condition like I do, take this test at http://www.synesthete.org/. And happy discovering your unique trait!

Last but not least, find out more about Synaesthesia in this video:

times like these

noreply@blogger.com (Charmers) — Sun, 01 Apr 2012 15:11:00 +0000

"It's times like these, you learn to live again

It's times like these, you give and give again

It's times like these, you learn to love again

It's times like these, time and time again.."

- Foo Fighters

To tell you the truth, to be "Sugar" in this lovely blog of ours can be quite daunting and I must say, a heavy task to carry and execute. Because just like you, you and you, I am a normal person too, with emotions that can take a turn for the worst on bad days and I won't be so "sugary" like I might seem to appear. And the result of this is, I feel like I've failed. Myself and others. I don't want to do that, and despite how negative I can be sometimes, I believe I still have an extra advantage over other people; it is that I can be naively optimistic, so much more than the average person. "Naive" there can be a negative connotation, if you want it to be and I thought so too at first, even allowed myself to feel sad about it, but you know what? I don't care if I'm naive about optimism, I don't care if I think everyone has a good heart, or no matter how bad they may seem, of the things they say and do, there's still a glimmer of hope of kindness in them because I just have that strong of a faith.

When people hurt me, I feel like I'm a pushover, letting them walk all over me just because I'm nice. And then I'd feel so stupid because I'd actually put that high amount of trust in them, when I can choose not to. Consequently, my anger and frustration would take over and I'll stride negatively on some hell road I never knew I had in me. I would think, " Screw these people" and consider to change how I view things; to hurt them back. I would actually go on about this for hours, and days even, for chronic situations and my real, true self seems to disappear into God-knows-where. However, this "new" me tires me down, because it is not me. I'm playing a person, an angry alter-ego whom I know will and never should take over the "real" me and then after major rationalizing (and praying), I will be okay again.

What I didn't realize was I had strength in me all along. Wonder Woman kind of strength. Because after every disappointment, I'll go back to being happy and see life in a positive light. The many times I have told myself to be strong and shove sadness away and think I've failed to do so is not true. Many people think they have but they don't. Because they would overcome it eventually and that means, you are strong.

The process is fairly simple;

You get hurt
You forgive (because you are so much better than the other person)
You make truce
Situation resolved.

But what a smart person would do is to not let him or herself get hurt time and time again and instead, learn from what had happened and be positive about it. Every single thing in life is a choice and it is yours to make. So what I've chosen to do is to mope (which isn't recommended but definitely helps!), vent, forgive, and move on. Give it a try, and I think you'll feel so much lighter, literally and figuratively. Goodnight, enjoy the remaining hour of your lovely Sunday.

- Sugar xo

Platonic, Schmatonic. Or is it really?

noreply@blogger.com (Charmers) — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 14:10:00 +0000

"Guys and girls can be friends." This is a common phrase and practice that we all hear and do. I'm one that totally believes that this is possible to be executed. I mean, I think we all think so... right? Well, not really.

A conversation with a friend leads me to thinking that wow, people really don't think alike, even on a common subject. He thinks it is not possible to have the opposite sex showing affection and care while totally excluding the "crush" part. He doesn't believe a guy and a girl can be friends and sincerely care about one another. So what he does is to not show care as much as one should because it might rub the other person the wrong way or the "right" way and have him or her actually developing romantic feelings for you. So to avoid such sticky situation, he doesn't care altogether and just ignore well..girls.

"Adam and Hawa were created to serve one another, to love each other, to be soul mates for life", he added. "So why is there such a thing as a platonic relationship?"

He got me stumped there. That actually made sense. What if you treat your friend so nicely because that's just how you are but he or she thinks otherwise? Nonetheless, however you treat a friend, there are still boundaries and lines that if you cross, can appear to be going over the "friend zone" that you two have initially established.

The reason why I don't agree is because alhamdulillah, I'm lucky enough to be bestowed with guy friends who are actually nice and good to me without thinking about how they look like when I see them, or how I look like when they see me because appearances at this point don't matter, because the essence of me is internal and that's all they really care about. They're even my go-to guide when a crisis arises, like problems on boys, friends, family, study, work, religion, even on what clothes to wear.

How should a platonic relationship be exactly? There's not one that is the same. It all depends on the individual. You care enough but not to the point of wanting to know every single detail of that person's day. That will be too much and you are, without knowing it, giving hints that it is more than a normal boy-and-girl friendship. How I think is normal is by doing the following; they will ask you how you are, be genuinely concerned, lift you up when you're sad, and celebrate moments when you're happy.

Here's a tip on how to know whether your friend is being real; they will always be there. Regardless of how busy they are, of how awesome their latest girlfriend/ boyfriend is, if they care about you as a friend, you'll definitely hear from them from time to time, because they still think you are one of the many pieces that fit right into their life puzzle. And they don't come to you when they're only down in the dumps (you should pick this up sooner or later, should it happen more than twice), when they keep asking to join your date with girlfriends (to ogle at your pretty friends), or when they're plain bored.

But remember, no matter how commendable your guy friends are, never forget your girlfriends. They are your homies for life. Who else are you going to share your deepest, darkest, most embarrassing secrets with other than your girlies who get your anxiety on a first date with the boy that you like, or the fact that love handles and stretch marks are showing and you're crying about it at 2 a.m in the morning, or first loves? Guys are cool and all but they have their short "guy"attention span" that we girls, should understand and digest and accept that they are just built that way.

This post isn't written to prove my friend wrong, but more like giving and showing people evidence that it actually can happen and of course, for the right reasons. Some may venture into friendships where they "gain benefits" and this is not something that I am advocating.

I am stressing more on improving oneself by having friends who may not share your stressful experience when dealing with pms every month, or worrying whether your bottom looks big in jeans but they help you to grow and be better. Like what I've mentioned, guys and girls are not made the same way; regarding their emotions and thinking. That is why somehow, beyond the complications and multiple differences, we can find ourselves complementing each other and most importantly, give reminders that will make us further love Him more...

I will end this post by reminding you of some verses in the holy Quran. Allah says,

"And the believers, men and women, are protecting friends of one another, they enjoin the right and forbid the wrong." - At-Taubah (9:71)

"Te believers are naught else than brothers. Therefore make peace between your brethren and observe your duty to Allah that haply ye may obtain mercy." - Al-Hujurat (49:10)

And words from our beloved Prophet Muhammad (pbuh),

"You shall not enter Paradise until you believe; and you will not believe until you love one another. Shall I not guide you to a thing? Which when done , will make you love one another: Spread the greeting of Salam among you"- (Muslim)

- Sugar xo

BE RESPONSIBLE. LOVE EARTH.

noreply@blogger.com (Charmers) — Mon, 26 Mar 2012 08:27:00 +0000

Hello dear readers. Today’s post is about loving our mother Earth. Well, as everyone knows, love is not just a noun, it is also a verb. Therefore, love is not merely a word listed in the dictionary or a state of feeling but it, too, involves actions performed by those who understand what love is, who know how to love and who have the ability to love-that is HUMANS.

It has been my concern of late that I begin to see the consequences of our doings to Earth. Let’s take ‘MINING’ for example. Yes, Earth is so rich in minerals, metals, rocks, salts and etc. (I’m not a geologist so it is beyond my expertise to give a list of everything that is in our soil or underneath it and forgive me for that.) So, if we keep on digging and taking away what is stored deep in Earth, one day, I believe, the Earth will be hollow for there is nothing left to support the heavy surface. And one day, it will definitely crush and be crushed. At that particular moment, it will all be too late for regrets and to undo what is done.

A sinkhole in Guatemala

Image source: www.tampabay360.com

As humans seek material possessions such as diamond rings, cars, and buildings; the Earth becomes poorer and poorer. We dig Earth for diamonds. We dig Earth for petroleum. We dig Earth for metal steel. But who cares about the disappearance of Earth’s possessions when one only cares about one’s possessions? I really hope that everyone is aware of the decline in Earth’s health. Earth has become very fragile. Like our bones in need of calcium to fight osteoporosis, our Earth needs its petroleum, metals, and minerals to stay strong and steady. Lucky for us, humans, calcium loss can be restored by increasing calcium intake in our diet. But poor Earth, its ‘CALCIUM’ is irreplaceable. The Earth’s ‘CALCIUM’ will always be deprived.

Indeed, there is nothing much we can do to completely save Earth, or to restore Earth’s health but we can try to slow down the process of terminating Earth’s life. Remember, Earth’s life, in a way, is ours.When the Earth dies, we do too.

As for Muslims, we all believe in the existence of the End of the World-QIAMAT. Let us consider the situation as a reminder of making sure that we are always on the right path. If we sense that we might have gone astray, repent as soon as we may. Lead ourselves back to the Creator.

Image source: www.niftywares.com

The Veil: Part 1

noreply@blogger.com (Charmers) — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 19:27:00 +0000

*The word ‘veil’ here includes both the hijab (the head-cover) and the niqab (the face-cover).

The desire to declare that, associating the act of veiling with any form of enslavement or debasement is merely fulfilling some hidden political scheme outlined by some (recognisable) powers whose sole motive is none other than bringing about the conflicts within the Muslims themselves and eventually their complete control over the Muslim countries, is so great that realising it is just a matter of typing the words in, which I already did anyway albeit generally. Had I not possessed any concrete evidence justifying my claim and considered it as a blindly-constructed accusation, I would instantly disseminate the claim widely without any hesitation. As for now you know that the desire is well established in my mind that getting hold of any proof is highly anticipated.

I bet most of you by now have watched this video.

If you need to read the transcript of the debate, read it here:
Hebah Ahmed and Mona Eltahawy on the French Niqab Ban

One important thing that needs to be noted is:

This is a debate between TWO Muslim women.

There are several issues I would like to highlight here.

It is sad to learn that the Muslims themselves are ruining the honour of veiling and that of the women donning the veil.
Some Muslim women really have the tendency of extrapolating their personal experiences and ethnic cultures to other Muslim women of different backgrounds all over the world. This is a classic case of narrow-minded liberals. Ironic indeed.
We are talking about a conflict between the French government and the covered Muslim women. We do not need Mona.
Why are they getting so obsessed by a veil, A PIECE OF CLOTH? I mean we have other dire matters that require our immediate attention and yet these people are busy arguing about what the Muslim women should or should not wear. Putting aside the very fact that this is an outright violation of women’s rights let alone those of humans, because they seem to be forgetting about those (the rights) lately, I hope they do realise that the veil that they see as threatening and oppressive is basically JUST a part of what constitutes one’s attire. Of course there are cases where donning a veil is more than just a cloth. But right now, we are dealing with women who are proud of their veil and cover themselves willingly hence all this talk about veiling as one of Islam’s forms of degrading and oppressing the women is completely uncalled for and futile.

I could write about how the non-Muslim women are subject to oppression and denigration through the ways they bring themselves before other people or how they are represented in the media or how they are treated by the men. I could write all these but I feel that it would be pointless. It will not make the Muslim women better by bringing the non-Muslim women down. People are busy defending themselves by being offensive. I certainly do not want to jump on the bandwagon. Hence, I prefer to address this as I feel it should be addressed.

Our life is replete with systems coordinating and regulating our roles and actions. However, it really depends on us whether we want to conform to the systems or not. All the rules and regulations are set before us, we are expected to follow them but at the end of the day we are the one responsible for our own conduct. We act and we bear the consequences of our own actions. As simple as that. Let me provide a few examples: attending classes is compulsory but you still skip one or two; there’s a due date for you to submit your assignment but you often submit later than the appointed time; you need to perform your salat but you disregard them sometimes or most of the time; and you need to be loyal to your partner but you are meeting some other man/woman behind their back.

I’m not encouraging people to skip classes, to procrastinate, to disregard their salat and to cheat on their partner. But the argument I am trying to emphasise here is this; regardless of knowing what we need or obliged to do and recognising the imminent consequences following our actions, sometimes we still do the exact opposite of what was expected of us or in short, we still do the wrong thing in spite of knowing that it’s wrong. Besides this being the obvious indicator that our iman is weakening, another way of viewing it, is that we really have the power to decide what we want to do.

So, most of the Muslims brought up in an Islamic environment are well aware of the dos and don’ts. They know the concepts of rewards and punishments, heaven and hell. But knowing does not mean acknowledging. It certainly does not mean accepting. Many Muslim women sadly, do not cover despite knowing it is obligatory for them to do so. Why? Because they CHOOSE not to cover. There are many factors contributing to their choice but the main point is, they have the power to DECIDE. (Some Muslim women nonetheless, have their personal view on veiling that they do not see it as an obligation. This is of course, a different issue altogether.)

How about the women who are forced to cover by their families and communities? Yes, we do have such circumstances. But do you really think that Muslim women are the only ones who are often shackled to social and cultural practices and expectations? There are numerous stories about women who are of different religious beliefs or ideologies that are forced to succumb to what is strictly imposed on them inconsiderately by their families and societies. Again, I’m just stating the point without giving the examples because the words ‘force’ and ‘Islam’ have been so synonymously associated now as if the definition of the former were the latter that I strongly feel the need to remind people of the matter of force in a broader view. So we are not talking about religion where the matter of force and intolerance is concerned. We are talking about the society, the community and the family. We are talking about the PEOPLE. Islam is not distorted in itself but the people are the ones distorting it for their own benefits and needs. I wish I could say that being a Muslim is the equivalent of being an Islamic devotee because essentially as Muslims, we are supposed to be religious, but I could not because unfortunately the present state highlights a big difference between being a Muslim and being Islamic and the fact that the definitions of 'being a Muslim' and 'being religious' vary according to different people complicates things further.

People need to realise that Muslims come from various ethnographical backgrounds. Thus, no one Muslim is similar to another. The social context affects one’s life. We cannot simply expect one to behave in accordance with how we view them. I am not here to show how divided the Muslims are through the differences that we Muslims exude but being different does not mean disintegration. I love to see how Hebah Ahmed has managed to represent the veiled Muslim women better. But I also feel that the possibility of Islam being misrepresented and misunderstood through this debate. One could listen to this and be amazed by Hebah Ahmed. But this debate could also convince people that the differences among the Muslims are bringing them apart.

A little pick-me-up...

noreply@blogger.com (Charmers) — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 17:14:00 +0000

...before Monday blues come along.

Source: ThingsSheLoves

NOCTURNAL GENERATION

noreply@blogger.com (Charmers) — Sun, 18 Mar 2012 15:38:00 +0000

Image Source: www.cartoonstock.com

The alarm clock shows that it is 12 noon. This electronic device has been buzzing every ten minutes since 8.00 a.m. At 12 noon, the final yawn is let out wholeheartedly as eyes are witnessing the glaring sun rays peeping in through the curtains that have not yet been drawn open. It has become a habit of the young generation to be nocturnal for their days begin at noon while their nights, at dawn. The fingers of these “owls” are automatically programmed to spatially memorise the snooze button. Sleeping time is therefore, prolonged for a few more hours, till the battery of the alarm clock is almost exhaustive. After countless times of snoozing, “the owls” finally wake up looking all-freshened up as their days await them.

“What has happened to the new generation?” wonder mothers at home, concern about their off springs. “Where have I gone wrong in raising them?” Mothers blame themselves for being incapable of performing their duties as caregivers. Some may voice out loud of their concerns while some may not.

Now, being a part of the young generation, I wonder what could possibly be the reason to the emergence of this so-called “Nocturnal Generation”. I took one whole day to ponder about this matter, and I finally came up with a new theory, in the search of an answer to the situation as presented in the previous paragraphs.

I believe that it is the human’s ability to invent things that has caused the said problem to occur. Let us question ourselves, who are the kinds of people who stay up late at night? I am quite positive that in your list, musicians, internet users, writers, readers, gamers, and movie watchers may frequent everyone’s list on average, I presume. Why are they still wide awake whence everybody else is soundly asleep? One possible reason that I theorised, which I think to be a contributing factor is because they have ‘objects’ to get them occupied with the activity that they cannot even delay a few more hours for the sun to rise. In the case of musicians, the inventions of musical instruments and musical notations have created new activities for entertainment purposes and job opportunities to support life. The inventions of computers, pen and paper or even more traditionally, quill and parchments have contributed to the formation of new nouns to refer to people who read and write. It takes many nights to complete a novel and it takes many nights too, though the period of time is not as long, to read the novel from cover to cover. It is indeed pretty clear that human inventions are altogether a factor to this ‘Nocturnal Generation’ phenomenon.

Presently, with computers being switched on for up to 24 hours a day, and the internet that communicates people from different parts of the world; human life has undergone and predictably, is still undergoing a tremendous change. Hence, the irregularity of sleeping patterns. Bloggers, gamers, movie watchers and a myriad more of new nouns invented in the dictionary are in fact, the products of human inventions.

Technology, from my perspective, is to make life easier. To reduce unnecessary energy usage, technology may come in useful. But to disrupt our sleeping pattern and the smooth flow of daily routines, who would want to answer to that? The reckless habit of these TECHNOLOGY MISUSERS is definitely in need of reconstruction. Living in virtual/another space is not a replacement for ‘real living’. So, wake up people! Be the master of your inventions and never be the slave. We live only once, thus, let’s live it wisely! J

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Which one are you?

noreply@blogger.com (Charmers) — Sun, 18 Mar 2012 15:26:00 +0000

This Nike Women advertisement is like a mini quiz! Briefly think of your fitness regime and choose one that is closest to yours. Mine is tied between an action hero and a gymaholic. I secretly wish I'm Wonder Woman who could kick butts easily (all those Taekwondo days sure left its mark) but at the same time, I love the machines available at the gym!

Source: HealthHeaven

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If only...

noreply@blogger.com (Charmers) — Sat, 17 Mar 2012 17:17:00 +0000

If only I could ignore APA, MLA or whatever format of citation that exists. If only I could do this...

See the Forest not just the Trees

noreply@blogger.com (Charmers) — Sat, 17 Mar 2012 17:08:00 +0000

Life is not always about knowing everything independently. Instead, it requires us to recognise the relationships connecting things together. Most of the time, we need to know the larger context. Most of the time, we need to see the bigger picture. We need to see the forest instead of the trees. Because these relationships, this larger context, this bigger picture and this forest, they provide logic and meanings. They render things comprehensible. They make sense. It’s like reading a book. If you are so engrossed in knowing what each word means you are highly likely to lose out not only the messages the author is trying to convey, but also the whole story itself.

source : sauer-thompson.com

We don’t live alone. We are a part of a family, a community, a society, an organisation, a country or whatever that involves us being connected to people (or animals). What we do could in some way(s) affect other people, emotionally or physically. So think before you do something. You need to predict the potential consequences of your own actions. You need to consider not just your feelings, but those around you, especially the closest ones. Don’t be selfish and say “This is my life and I can do whatever I want with it”. Because you are living with other people. You are connected to them. So if people start criticising you, learn the network to which you are tied. Know your position and the impact thereof upon other people.

Usually (not all the time), we would scowl, curse, and retort whenever people make remarks, harsh at times, about us. Simply put, we start being defensive. We reject the criticisms completely without even trying to consider and reflect about them. And among the common and famous retorts are, “Haters will always hate”, “Haters are our silent admirers”, “Haters want to bring us down because they can’t reach us up high”. (Fine. You don’t really see the last sentence that often. I created it. But you get the drift). But the point is, look how self-absorbed, conceited and narcissistic (basically they mean the same thing. Mwahaha) we have become? We are actually telling the world that we are always right and those who criticise us are just plain wrong and jealous. JEALOUS? To be honest, I think this is the lamest response one could ever give. Because if anybody told me that I’m just jealous of them hence my making remarks about them, I would ask them instantly, “What is SO great about you that could possibly stimulate such a huge emotion in me?”. Don’t get me wrong. That question is not to say that I’m great or whatever. Rather, it is to make some people realise that just because one criticises does not mean one is jealous of them. It is also a question I would often pose to myself whenever I got criticised in the hope that I would be able to see what have I done that could be so inappropriate and could provoke such negative emotions in people. Criticisms remind me not to be proud of myself and make me a better person from time to time. Criticisms make me attentive and sensitive to my surrounding. They make me a better listener. They make me a better thinker.

What I’m trying to do here is to make everyone realise the rather positive side of being criticised. This is not a post to defend the critics. Rather it is to appease the criticised. View criticisms in a different light. People don’t just talk for no reason. There must be at least a reason that makes them talk about you. Find this reason. Contemplate. Ask around. Read. Do whatever it takes to discover why people are talking about you. I know that some comments are not worth to be thought over and worried of. But it does not hurt to listen. If they’re absurd you can just have a good laugh about them. The important point is you have listened to them. Once you are done listening, you are to judge whether they are matters to heed or ignore. It’s just as simple as that. It’s not a battlefield. You do not have to be defensive and most importantly, offensive. Learn to accept criticisms well.

Maybe some will think, why would people want to mind other people’s businesses? If you want to take it as one being nosy then that is entirely your choice. But some people talk because they care. Some maybe did it in a wrong way. Those who criticised you to the extent that you found them cursing you, yes, they are the ones to be ignored. However, I’m talking about those who approached you politely. They could have offended you like how some people did, but they did not. Instead, they revealed their thoughts and feelings to you. They took great care in choosing the words to say so that they would not sound harsh. They are the ones that care about you. So what is so wrong about being taken care of?

Essentially, as a Muslim, we need to take care of each other. We are after all brothers and sisters. So what is this whole thing about minding your own business?

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