Today I learned you can’t out run grief.

I write this as my dear sweet friend, Mr. Kennedy T Cat, is lying beside me. He is 18 years old and his time with me has come to an end.

His health hasn’t been the best for some time. He’s always had a problem with is back left leg that caused him to hop like a rabbit instead of run like a normal cat. Arthritis made it worse. He has spent the last year or so in the comfort of my office, greeting me in the morning by meowing for his ice water. Funny, I don't even remember when or why I started putting ice in his dish every morning.

After our usual morning conversation he would spend the rest of the day sleeping, getting up on occasion to eat or take care of other critical business. He was no longer the cat jumping in the window to growl at the roaming neighborhood cats or whom I had to shoo away when I was trying to cook.  But he was still my faithful companion, sitting next to my as I worked on programs and blog posts.

It became apparent last night that the end was near when he could no longer get up to get his food. His back legs simply wouldn’t work. He didn't cry. He just gave up. I spent the evening stroking his head and telling him how grateful I was for his love all these years.

My life is certainly much different than it was when Kennedy entered it. I was a depressed and unhealthy mess. He was a barn cat, taken from his mother too young and thus somewhat lacking in basic cat skills. We both suffered during a dark and unhealthy relationship, before Brian came into our lives. We both bristled at affection, craving it but only on our terms. We both learned to trust and live a little easier, a little happier. As I got stronger, got more confident, he was moving toward old age. I slept less, he slept more. Now my best years are just beginning as I watch his ending.

I prayed last night when I went to bed that he might go in his sleep, calm and peacefully. I awoke early, quietly entering the office. At first, I thought he was gone but when I stroked his head he looked up and mewed softly. I tried to give him ice water but he ignored it. So I started to work, watching him out of the corner of my eye. After an hour, with the sun coming up, I wondered if a run would do me good. I decided it couldn’t hurt, so I gave him a kiss on the head and promised to back in two miles.

I tried to focus on my breathing but knowing what was to come, the tears started to flow instead. Despite his advanced age I wasn’t ready to say good bye. I kept thinking of him in his younger more spry days. I would try to steady myself, checking my pace and making my feet move. I didn’t go far, promising myself only two miles in case he needed me. The tears would stop only to be triggered by again another memory, another vision of his sweet face.

It was probably my fastest 2 miles outside of a race. All I wanted to do was get back and be by his side. Nothing was going to stop the sadness in me from flowing out, not even the usual peace I find in exercise. Exercise is the answer for many things but it would not stop my heart from breaking today.

I got home to find Brian beside him, Kennedy still hanging on. We wanted him to finish out his life at home. He hated the vet more than anything. I didn't want his last moments to be filled with fear. I just wanted him to feel the love that at times I may have been too busy over the last few years to show him adequately. So I write and wait.

Sadly, it wasn’t to be. He started to cry a bit and, fearful he was in pain, we took him to the vet. It was there, after many tears, we made the decision to let him go. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I appreciate everyone’s kindness as Brian and I mourn the loss of our little buddy. I appreciate you reading this, letting this blog be a part of the grieving process. I am thankful for my clients and the needed distraction they have brought me in the days since. I have become even more aware of how truly lucky I am to have so much love and support in my time of need. This fit family I belong to is truly amazing.

A fitness journey often starts with three things:

• Detailed questions  (How many grams of fat is okay?).

• Excitement/fear of the unknown (What are we going to do in the first session?)

• Unbridled enthusiasm (I am so pumped!)

My Better U team is no different. Our assessment appointments had some nerves, tears and shy giggles. Emails and Facebook messages have been coming in with questions like:

Is this granola bar a good choice?

Should I have smoothies?

How do I say no to chocolate cravings during that time of the month?

What else can I do??

I love talking about what I do and answering questions. The problem is too much information can be overwhelming in the beginning. I make a very concerted effort to share information and give homework assignments in small doses.

This can be frustrating but I do this for a reason.

We like to think we are good at multi tasking. Research into habit change says otherwise. As I told the group at our very first team meeting:

If we focus on one thing our rate of success is about 85%. If we add another, we drop to about 35%. Add a third and now it’s 10% or less.

Better U is a health makeover not a weight loss transformation contest. I want to set them up for success, give them a foundation for which to build a healthy life upon. So, to start, each of them only has 1-2 pieces of homework. They include things like:

• Drink only one 12 oz soda a week. (Goal: Reduce liquid calorie/sugar intake.)
• Walk 5 minutes a day. (Goal: Build an activity habit.)
• Do a plank a day. (Goal: Build an activity habit.)
• Keep a food journal. (Goal: What does 1600 calories a day of food really look like?)
• Keep sweets to every other day. (Goal: Reducing sugar consumption.)

Each of these items may seem small but, as you can see, there is logic behind each assignment. Each one is also small and manageable. If it’s not, I scale it back till it is. It needs to be so doable that when they leave they have no doubt in their mind they can do it. To be successful you need to know what it feels like to be successful. These small goals plant the seeds of bigger successes.

This is one of the reasons I say diets don't work. Fad diets focus on short term gains (or I guess losses) without care for long term health and happiness. I want something more positive for my Better U team and for YOU. Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither is a healthy life. Build it brick by brick, habit by habit.

Habit change is the same process, no matter if it’s starting to exercise, remembering to log your food or quitting smoking. There will be stops and starts. There will be bargaining and frustration. It often won’t “take” the first time.

Julie found this out the hard way.

Julie was at a new job, super stressed out and feeling as though her body was no longer under her own control when she came to work with me the first time.

I was sick of feeling…well, sick. My 40-hour work week was draining my energy and I couldn’t even enjoy my weekends. I would get home on Fridays and just want to go to bed. When I was younger I was always skinny and full of energy. In fact, I used to get made fun of for being too skinny, something I now realize could have played a part in eating more and gaining weight as I got older.

She heard about me from her friend, Denee, who was also a client of mine at the time.  They were discussing how all of the stress was wreaking havoc on Julie’s system and Denee suggested exercise as a way to help manage stress as well as get back into shape. Julie contacted me and signed up for a 3 month program with one session a week.

One session a week is a gamble for beginners. When you are trying to form new habits regular coaching and reinforcement is important. Only seeing each other one time a week means there is plenty of time to veer off course between sessions. One session a week also means trying to pack a lot information into the small amount of time we do have.

Julie was dedicated during her sessions and diligently kept her food log. However when she had to stop attending training after 3 months it became clear that  while she was motivated,  she was not yet fully committed to a fit lifestyle.

I felt that I had a lot more knowledge, but I wasn’t completely ready to change. I still needed to get my stress levels under control. I’ve always loved cardio, but during the hiatus I did very little strength training and wasn’t consistent with my workouts. Around the holidays I took a picture for a Christmas card I realized I was back to where I was before we met. Even a bit worse. I decided I needed to stop making excuses and go all in.

Julie After the ColorRun

She came back earlier this year with a new mindset and a new set of goals. This time she was mentally as well a physically ready to change. She committed to another 3 months of sessions, this time working with me twice a week.  She committed to a 5K and living a healthy lifestyle. It paid off in 16 pounds lost, renewed energy and a reclaiming of her life.

Not only have I been losing weight in otherwise difficult places, but I feel less stressed and more full of energy. I’m getting back to my goofy self that I didn’t even realize had gone away. I thought eating healthy around friends would be difficult, but instead I have several of them asking me for food advice! Completing my first 5k was such a rush!

Julie’s experience is a true testament to the importance of not just motivation but also commitment when we want to make a true lifestyle change. It also shows that perseverance pays off. Just because it doesn't click the first time doesn't mean it won't on the second or third. Her changed mindset helped her make great progress the second time around. This time going out on her own she is armed with new habits, a new mindset and a new feeling of confidence.

Personal Trainer Pamela Hernandez answers a viewer's question about looking too thin in the face.

In this video is advice for:

• Losing Weight Too Fast.
• How we should exercise.

Volcanic Sunrise by W Brian Duncan

My husband, Brian, and I do not work out together. We’ve never even belonged to the same gym. He won’t let me design a workout program for him. (He hates lunges and just knows I will put them in there.)

But we do stay active as a family. Whether at home or on the road, we love to get outdoors together.

• We’ve hiked the volcano in Haleakala State Park.
• We’ve visited General Sherman in Sequoia.
• We’ve tackled the trails around Crystal Bridges in Arkansas before checking out the art inside.
• We love taking our bikes out on the Ozarks Greenways trails as soon as the weather starts to turn warm.
• We walk in the little park not far from our house as often as we can, year round as the weather allows.

Crystal Bridges by W Brian Duncan

What’s great about all these things, besides the physical activity, is the opportunity to connect with each other when we are separated from technology. When we walk or bike, I’m not distracted by the Ellen DeGeneres Show or basketball. He’s not catching up on Twitter or checking email. We can have a genuine conversation while we do something good for our bodies. It automatically de-stresses both of us. We can connect, brainstorm and laugh in a way that seems to escape us indoors

This Saturday June 8 is National Get Outdoors Day. I want to challenge you to take your activity outside this weekend. And take your family with you for some active IRL time. There are a 141 official locations to celebrate nationwide but don't worry if there isn’t one close to you. Get outside where ever you can, even if it’s just your own back yard. Your lawn is perfect for croquet and badminton, two of my personal favorite family friendly sports. Need some other ideas?

• Visit a local park you’ve never been to before. Do my playground workout or just have some fun on the swings.
• Check out historical sites, like my own local Wilson’s Creek National Battlefield. Many sites have walking or bike paths.
• Float or canoe a local water way. You can rent a canoe, pack a picnic and get a workout in the process. Plus it’s a great way to see a side of nature different than your local running trail.

How do you plan to celebrate National Get Outdoors Day? What’s your favorite local outdoor adventure?

I used to listen to podcasts while running. That only works for a couple of miles. After about 15-20 minutes I get bored. What does keep my attention is reminiscing to the mindless fun of 80s hair bands.

If you had told me 20 years ago I would be running while listening to Motley Crue, I would have proclaimed you crazy. But me today finds it works very well. 80s metal provides a huge distraction as I get lost in some of the cheesy lyrics and junior high memories. The beat is actually pretty fast paced on most of them.  If you had Bon Jovi posters on your walls growing up, give this playlist a try on your next run.

• Blondes In Black Cars by Autograph: This song makes me think of high school boyfriends. What does it make you think of?
• In And Out Of Love by Bon Jovi: My favorite song off their second album. I think it is one of their best songs ever.
• Wild Life by Slaughter: Someday I might tell you stories of my wild life, my teen years. I wasn’t always the upstanding citizen you know today.
• Piece Of Me by Skid Row: When I run I need to feel like a badass. Sometimes it’s the only way I can make those feet to move.
• I Can't Drive 55 by Sammy Hagar: You can’t run slowly to this.
• Can't Catch Me by Lita Ford: The old joke: I was running and I wasn’t even being chased!
• You've Got Another Thing Comin' by Judas Priest: Makes me want to show off, surprise people with my speed and ability.
• Live Wire by Motley Crue: Because I’m ALIVE!
• Bad Reputation by Joan Jett: I like to pretend that I don’t care what people think, but I do.

Under Armour sponsors the What's Beautiful Challenge and this post but all experiences are completely my own.

Running is all mental for me. Perhaps that is why it is also very hard, harder than weights or even the Inferno Program.

When I decided to declare a goal for the UnderArmour What’s Beautiful challenge. I didn’t know what a profound affect it would have on me mentally. I was more interested in what I could inspire others to do. I was so tired of women who didn’t play on teams or compete being overlooked for the dedicated athletes they are. All I wanted to do was make every woman who gets up early to train,  moves with joy and strength and gives her all each time feel like the athlete she is.

My personal goal was to run a 5K in under 30 minutes. My intention was to give myself most of the summer. It was a goal that meant something to me personally, one that was a bit of a stretch but manageable. It honestly didn’t seem to be that big of deal at the time.

But there is something about publicly declaring a goal that makes it grow exponentially.

The more people I told about the goal, the date of my first 5K of the summer, the more it felt like I needed to hit it out of the gate. The more I WANTED to hit it on that first official race. The more I visualized that sub 30 time as I crossed the finish line, the more I needed it to be so.

Prior to this realization, none of my practice runs had the pace I needed to make my goal. I was close but not close enough.  I realized if this was going to happen I needed to let go of "slow and steady" and get a little uncomfortable.

I started running farther, trying to get uncomfortable. I did minute intervals during short runs, trying to get uncomfortable. I needed to feel what that pace had to be and understand it was possible. I needed to feel my lungs burn, without slowing down or walking. (It’s always my lungs by the way, never my legs.) I needed to let go of the I CAN’T that was still hanging out in the deep recesses of my brain.

On race day, at the starting line, I was still unsure of myself.  All I could think was “Please don’t let me embarrass myself. Please don't let me let everyone down”. I knew the question "How did you do?" would start that afternoon online and carry over to the next day from clients. I wanted the answer to be " I CRUSHED IT!". The gun went off and I took off with the pack, just behind the front line. Thankfully sunglasses prevented anyone from seeing the tears that also welled up in my eyes.

I got it together and just started breathing. I had read an article about breathing with your foot strikes to prevent injury and I had been practicing the rhythm the last few weeks.  Now, as my nerves were getting the better of me, it had nothing to do with preventing injury and all about calming my monkey mind.

What was I thinking? All these people are passing me. There’s a hill! I was promised a flat course! What if I get lost, make a wrong turn? What if, what if, what if…

The breathing helped. My music always helps. I Can’t Drive 55 playing in your ear makes anyone move faster. Looking down to see I was right on pace at mile 1 helped too. I just kept breathing. As long as you can breath, you can run, I kept telling myself.

So I did. I kept checking my pace, making sure it never got over 10 minutes per mile. I thought about my What’s Beautiful teammate, Jennifer, trying to break 45 minutes. I started to pass a walker or two.

Then I saw people walking back. The leaders, the top finishers, walking back with water in hand. I knew I was close! I knew I was going to do it! The tears started to come again. My feet started to move faster. Breathing in rhythm not longer mattered or was necessary because I could see the finish line.

My time and name popped up on the board as I passed the line:

29:25 Pamela Hernandez

My breathing resumed. My body was sweaty but honestly after a minute or two I contemplated running back to finish with Jennifer. But I mentally, I couldn’t.

Truth be told my body probably could have made that time last year or the year before. But my mind wasn't ready, it didn’t believe. If we don't believe in our strength, in what we can achieve, then we will never achieve it. 

The body is capable of so much more than we let it do.  I don’t know if I’ve “erased” those old mental tapes of myself but I know I have a new one.

I am a runner.

What new message will you give yourself today? What new title will you claim? How will you define yourself as an athlete?

We are the sum of our habits. We may think we are in control but we spend most of our day on autopilot. Like when you drive to work but can’t really remember how you got there? That's your habits doing the work.

Take the story of man named Eugene. After suffering a traumatic and almost fatal illness Eugene lost his short-term memory. He knew how to cook bacon, dress himself and could tell you stories about trips in his youth or his former profession in electronics. He however could not tell you about events of the least 30 years. Nor could he learn anything new.

Or so they thought. He might not consciously be able to answer questions like who’s the current president but he did learn how to follow the route that he and his wife walked all by himself. What’s even more amazing is he wasn’t conscious that he learned it. He knew he was going out but he couldn’t explain to the doctors how he got back home. Or he knew he wanted nuts for a snack. He couldn’t tell you where they were, but he could go get them. With help, his brain had wired these new habits without him even realizing it.

The research on why and how such a thing could happen is the subject of the book The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. Starting with Eugene’s story, Duhigg unwinds the science behind why we do the things we do even when we don't want to.

The case studies are fascinating. I am sure you heard the story of the teenager who Target knew was pregnant based on her shopping habits before she had even told her parents. He details their science, how they can predict where we are in our life and what that next big shift may be. Makes me wonder what Target thinks of my quirky purchases (cat litter, GoPicnic meals and birthday cards are staples for me).

My favorite, and perhaps the most useful, part is the review in the appendix of our Cue/Habit/Reward cycle. Almost every action we take follows this pattern,most often without us thinking about it. Think of your morning in terms of the cycle:

CUE: Alarm clock goes off

HABIT: Get out bed, go to kitchen and make coffee (or tea) (action)

REWARD: Taste, smell, infusion of caffeine so we can wake up and take on the day (reward)

This automated behavior isn’t a bad thing. It would be horrible if we had to think about every single thing we do every single day. We would never make it out of the house in the morning, but this can make it very difficult to take a new path. It’s so ingrained in our brains that even when we form a new habit, like quitting smoking, the old patterns actually still linger. Habits really never go away, they just get reshaped or reworked. The alarm may still go off, but now you skip the coffee and hit the gym. You still feel awake, you still get a reward. But that love of the first shot of caffeine still lies there waiting to take over.

Do you have one last bad habit that needs to go? Or are you just getting started and ready to start one or two new healthier habits? This book may help with tips and tricks from the case studies. If you’ve read it, tell me what you think? Or tell me what that last habit is that needs to go. Maybe we can find that new action/reward.

Americans eat way too many starchy carbs.

I’m not against carbs. I’m against bland and boring nutrient stripped foods like white bread and pasta, potato chips and sugary cereals that are the staples of the typical American diet.

Breakfast is great example. When I take at look at a beginner's food log I often see (if I see breakfast at all) one of the following combos:

• Faux fruit cereal (it never says those are actually real strawberries) with milk and toast
• A bagel and cream cheese
• Coffee (with lots of other stuff added) and a “fiber” bar (you know the ones but I’m trying not to name names) with more sugar than fiber.

My mission is balance out breakfast with protein. Protein is essential to rebuilding all tissues (not just muscle) yet we can’t store very much of it the way we do glucose and fat. We need to be constantly replenishing our amino acid pool.

Protein also helps keep us feeling fuller longer. It helps keep our blood sugar level stable. Protein at breakfast is the key to not reaching for the office candy dish or gorging on pasta at lunch. It helps keep hangry from happening.

I’ve got three new breakfast combos that will push out the starch and bring in the protein.

1. Try tofu! Every vegetarian should have a go to version of a tofu scramble. This Southwest Tofu Scramble from Vegetarian Times can be made even quicker using a frozen onion and pepper blend.
2. You can still have toast, it’s just what you choose to toast and how you top it. Start with a sprouted grain bread, like Ezekiel. Top toast with “chia jam” and ¼ cup low fat ricotta cheese.
3. Have your coffee and protein with a coffee based protein shake. Try the Protein Coffee Grinder from Designer Whey. Grab a banana and your ready to face your commute.

Now it’s your turn. I want to see how you do a fit protein rich breakfast. Follow me on Instagram then post a pic of your breakfast with the hashtag #powerbreakfast. Post your  photos by 10 pm CT Monday May 27. I’ll pick the best of the best to feature in an upcoming blog post and, if you live in the US, I’ll send the creator a Thrive Personal Fitness t-shirt.  I can’t wait to see how you start your day!

HDR Photography by W Brian Duncan

I think I am naturally a West coast kind of girl. Manhattan was okay but San Francisco will always win hands down. So when it came time to choose a conference to take the place of South by Southwest this year, IDEA Personal Trainer Institute (PTI) West in Seattle won hands down over the east coast version in Alexandria, VA.

It was my first trip to the Pacific Northwest but sadly I actually got to see very little of it outside of the Doubletree by the airport. What was wonderful was the weather. I didn’t get to experience the fog, mist and relative cool that seem to be the hallmark of Seattle. Instead it was in the 70s and sunny the whole time, while it was in the 30s at home with snow. Talk about some serious luck.

We did have a half a day before the official start of PTI and a half a day at the end to explore. Brian also came with me, so he was able to share his adventures and insights while I learned the latest in smart programs for menopausal women and new kettlebell moves. With his help, I have put together my top picks for having a fun and fit time on your next trip to Seattle.

• Staying fit at a fitness conference is obviously a little bit easier than your average vacation. Workouts and workshops are the order of the day. Yet I still struggled to get my 10,000 steps. If your visit keeps you confined in a convention center or hotel, take the stairs always. Take them repeatedly. I had a lecture or two where I just had to get up and move. I went out in the hall and did some stairs. Instantly alert and ready for more.

• Seattle is the birthplace of Starbucks and a big coffee town. Stay away from the sugary coffee drinks and go for drip. Try Café Ladro, Café Vita and Tully’s after you visit the original Starbucks at Pike Place Market.  Or be a tea snob like me and go to the free tea tasting at Vital Tea.  You won’t be disappointed.

• Speaking of Pike Place Market, get your steps browsing the stalls and pick up your snacks here. Not only will you find fresh fruit, but also lots of dried fruits and veggies like beet chips and green beans and a variety of raw nuts. Just don't try the samples at the Gum Wall. It’s not free candy.

• Walk don’t drive. Traffic, like most major cities, is a headache. The hills in downtown and Fremont rival San Francisco, making them a great glute workout. Take long strides going up make it even more challenging and effective.

• Take a hike. Brian went on a nice hike at Discovery Park. They have paved and unpaved trails to enjoy. Just beware; even in the city you might encounter a tick or two. Or drive outside the city and visit Mount Rainer. It’s amazing to view from far away (or the plane as you approach the city) and I plan to visit it the next time.

• Take advantage of happy hour. We all like to treat ourselves on vacation but no one likes to roll away from the table feeling miserable. Many of the restaurants have happy hour menus between 4-6 pm with small plates or portions that allow you to taste the fine locally sourced and organic cuisine but not be painfully stuffed afterwards. My suggestions: Serious Pie for a mushroom and truffle cheese half pizza or Agrodolce for the chickpea cakes and spring onion soup. Rachel Ray would be proud of my under $20 three course dinner tab.

Locals, what have I missed? Travelers, if you’ve visited Seattle, how did you keep it fit on your last visit?