Through Thick n Thin

On to the next chapter.

2009-04-01T12:45:00.010-04:00

I had a really good talk with my son's psychiatrist last week. He is showing a lot of signs of being bipolar. Matter of fact, one of his diagnosis's is mood disorder not otherwise specified.

As I sit and think about his behavior, it really makes sense to me. His sister also has adhd and a mood disorder diagnosis. I see a lot of similarities in the two of them. How their moods can flip like a switch for no reason.
That's stressful and frustrating. I never know when he will flip. It's like I have to walk on eggshells to avoid setting him off. Yesterday he got home from school in a good mood, had his snack and started on his chores. He went upstairs to his room chatting away and in a matter of less than a minute, he comes down the stairs kicking, banging, swearing and thumping. Telling me he is mad. Now tell me that happened in those 60 seconds that he was up there by himself that would make him so agitated?

I was doing some research and found this link on childhood bipolar. All I can say is wow! honest. This describes him perfectly. Nearly 100%. It's scary.

When he went on the antidepressant/anxiety med, he had a HUGE increase in irritability and aggression. Textbook. Thankfully he was only on it for a couple of days. We saw problems right away.

Our next step is a mood stabilizer. I've got my fingers crossed (again) that this will help. I don't know if it will but I hope. That's all I can do. If I am able to finally get his moods leveled out, I will get him into therapy. At this point therapy is crazy. He kicks the therapist, jumps on the table and chairs, runs away and swears. That makes for a really productive session.

As for me, the new med I am on is no good. Its either causing anxiety or not working for anxiety that I didn't know was there and the Prozac was helping. Either way, I'm weaning myself off of it and seeing my PCP next week to try the next round of who knows what.
Anxiety attacks over stupid things suck. When they are done I get depressed. Then I am exhausted for the rest of the day. A vicious cycle.

TMI

2009-03-31T11:05:00.003-04:00

TMI Tuesday #180

1. Have you ever sent or received a sext message?
Yes to both.

2. Have you ever made or received a booty call?
No.

3. Have you ever added or edited a word/entry to Wikipedia or Urban Dictionary or any other online reference?
I have not.

4. At what age did you have your first consensual sexual experience?
I was fourteen.

5. What has been the greatest age difference between you a consensual sexual partner?
20 years - My husband.

Life updates to come soon...

Eeeeeh

2009-03-29T00:03:00.001-04:00

Cheers to all us thieves!

Sunday Stealing: The Ginormous Meme

1. Are you single?
I'm happily taken.

2. Are your parents still married?
They are.

3. Are you in love?
I am.

4. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Yes. It happened to me.

5. Who ended your last relationship?
I did.

6. Have you ever been hurt by a break up?
No.

7. Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
Yes, I have.

8. Have you ever had a secret admirer?
Never.

9. Prefer love or lust?
Love.

10. Prefer a few best friends or many regular friends?A few best friends.

11. Wild night out or romantic night in?
Romantic Night in. I'm too old for nights out.

12. Back in the day: Been caught sneaking out?
I never snuck out, I just left.

13. Ever wanted something/someone so badly it hurt?
Oh yeah.

14. Who are/is your best friend(s)?
My husband is my best friend.

15. Ever wanted to disappear?
Oh yeah. A few times.

16. First attraction: Smile or eyes?
Eyes.

17. Prefer intelligence or attraction?
Intelligence.

18. Last phone call you received?
Uh, My husband on his way home from work.

19. Last thing you drank?
Diet Mountain Dew.

20. Before your current one, when was your last relationship?
Ehhh

21. Do you and your family get along?
Mostly. Some better than others.

22. Would you say you have a "screwed up life"?
Don't we all?

23. Have you ever gotten kicked out somewhere? If yes, do tell.Never have.

24. Do you trust all your friends?
Not 100% - except for my best friend.

25. Who knows the most about you?
My husband.

Welcome to the fucktard - free zone

2009-03-28T11:33:00.002-04:00

Saturday 9: Inside the Actors Studio

1. What is your favorite word?
Come on now. You know it's fucktard

2. What is your least favorite word?
ex-husband. I wretch every time I hear it.

3. What turns you on, creatively, spiritually, or emotionally?
Emotionally. We have to connect.

4. What turns you off?
Smoking. I hate it.

5. What is your favorite curse word?
Fuck Fuck Fuck

6. What sound or noise do you love?
I love to listen to the rain at night while laying in bed. Theres something about it very peaceful and sensual.

7. What sound or noise do you hate?
when a dog starts to puke. Especially in the middle of the night. It wakes me up out of a sound sleep. GAG!

8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
If Bud is looking for someone to direct his next film, I'll take the job.

9. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Welcome to the fucktard - free zone.

superstitions, diet coke and vodka

2009-03-25T09:41:00.010-04:00

WW # 48

1.) What is your significant others worst habit?
I saw someone else post this (sorry I forget who) and the answer would me ME. I am his worst habit.

2.) What piece of clothing that isn't lingerie or an undergarment do you have that you feel especially sexy/handsome in?
Anything I wear and my husband tells me how good I look. I can be a dress, jeans, sweater, anything.

3.) If you could drink ONLY two beverages for the rest of your life, which would you pick?
Vodka and Diet Coke.

4.) What is your worst habit?
See above....

5.) Are you superstitious in any way?
Not at all.

6.) What kind of shopping do you hate doing most? (Grocery shopping, clothes shopping, shoe shopping, etc)
I hate doing any shopping that involves bring my kids with me.

7.) What was a “fad” you remember from your childhood?
Net tank tops with solid color tanks underneath. SO we could look like Madonna or something.

sore

2009-03-23T19:50:00.000-04:00

I worked out today for the first time in months.

I'm sore.

But it feels good.

It's Saturday

2009-03-21T08:58:00.011-04:00

So I'm not doing the Saturday Nine today. I don't like music questions. I'm not a major music fool and I'd feel like a fucktard if I had to search names of albums and bands from times before I was even born.

If you want to play you can go here and do it here.

Enjoy your Saturday! It's nice and sunny here. I'll be doing my normal house chores and helping my hunny with his car.

We're putting This

In here

Can you hear my moaning over my sore muscles? Yeah. They hurt.

I've also got some letters to answer. Got a 140 page letter from one of my pen pals yesterday. Crazy? No way. I love it!!! I write the same to her.

Last night we had a small party for my son's 11th birthday. just three boys. Pizza. And cake. One boy slept over. They were awake until about midnight and woke up at 6:30am. It's a good thing that I didn't over-indulge in smirnoff last night.
This would have been me this morning.

So to all - happy Saturday! I hope it's a good one!

nope.

2009-03-19T15:48:00.001-04:00

So the Zoloft doesn't work for the little one. On to round two.... sheesh

When Bud?

2009-03-19T11:43:00.003-04:00

1. The last flight of stairs you walked up/down - were the carpeted?
they were not. they were the wooden stairs that go to my kids bedroom. Old, narrow and steep.

2. Green or purple grapes?
I like either.

3. Do you like Peeps?
LOVE peeps! Thank god they make sugar free ones! The best peeps are hard, stale peeps. mmmmmmm

4. The smell of Vicks - like it?
Hi, My name is Debbie and I am addicted to the smell of Vicks.

5. Do you put decorative cling-ons on your windows for different holidays?
I do and they usually fall off and get chewed up by the dog.

6. Finish the sentence - I spent too much money on ________ .my new Hello Kitty purse.

7. Which celebrity should be flown into outer space or placed on a desert island?
Paris Hilton

8. Would you support schools changing the "open" time? Such as 10am - 5pm, for example?
I think it should stay the way it is.

9. Do you go fishing?
We do in the summer.

10. What question should we ask next week?
"When do you think Bud will let us see the DVD of him and the french twins?"

general life stuff

2009-03-17T09:21:00.005-04:00

glitter-graphics.com
Happy St Patricks today to all! We don't do much to celebrate other than wear green and hang out the green flag. No corned beef here. I'm actually making chicken tacos for dinner tonight!!

I woke up this morning with my tummy burning. I ate a little bread to try and soak up whatever is is there and so far, it isn't helping.

The wellbutrin, Don't know how its working yet. Just started my full dose yesterday. I do have weird feelings a few hours after first taking it. Like my head has this strange pressure. Whatever that is.

After having a tough weekend, I've made a few decisions about things here and my kids. I really can't go into too many details here because I haven't discussed it with anyone other than my husband yet. But if you are reading this, and know my situation, feel free to email me and ask. Either way. It's a tough choice but one I feel necessary for everyone involved.
Yeah, that really tells you a lot - lol.

My youngest started on a new dose of his med a month ago. It hasn't made any positive change. I think his body is adjusting to this med and it's slowly slowly rendering useless. He's an anxious kid. Has a lot going on in his brain. He can go from playing and focusing on something so intently one minute to screaming and kicking the wall the next. Flips like a switch. His psych mentioned a few things she suspects but hasn't officially diagnosed him with yet. Which is fine. Rushing into a diagnosis just to have a name isn't always a good thing. He's young. Just 9. And still growing.
But some of the things he shows traits of or have been diagnosed with:
*ADHD
*ODD
*OCD
*generalized anxiety disorder
*Touretts syndrome
*SID
*bipolar
*Aspergers

It's a lot. A whole lot for a little guy. Having a label on him won't necessarily change the way he is treated but it could open up some new doors.
We're starting him on an anti-anxiety med now. If he isn't so anxious and OCD about stuff, maybe it will help tone him down a bit. I don't know. But we'll try it.

On a sad note. A while ago I shared a link to a blog written by a woman who's husband was fighting a brain tumor.
At 12:45 am on March 17, 2009, Brian O'Neill left this world for the next.
Stop by and send your condolences and prayers.

Skool Daze

2009-03-14T00:34:00.000-04:00

Saturday 9: School Daze

1. Do you have children in school?
I do.

2. Did you go to public school? If you have children did/do theyYes I did and Yes they do.

3. Are you currently in school or taking classes?
I am not currently but looking hard at some free online courses here

4. What level of education have you completed?
graduated high school and halfway through hairdressing school.

5. Do you, or did you have loans out for your (or your children's) education?
I did for hairdressing school but it's paid off.

6. What are your thoughts on the cost of tuition for colleges and universities?
Its insane. Must be fucktards deciding on the cost.

7. Did school prepare you education wise for working in the real world?
Ha. no.

8. Did school prepare you emotionally for what lied ahead?
The school didn't, but my experiences at school did.

9. If you ran a high school, what changes would you make?
Things run pretty smooth the way they are. I don't think I'd make any.

sanity?

2009-03-13T15:21:00.003-04:00

After comments, suggestions, and research, I saw my doctor and asked about Wellbutrin. She agreed it was a reasonable thought and worth making the switch to. I'm weaning myself off of the Prozac and upping on to the new one. I just wasn't happy with Prozac. It had some undesirable side effects and I needed something different.
Today I am in zombie mode. Maybe my brain is adjusting to the new chemicals that are being introduced to it. I'm only on half my dose. Wonder what I'll be like in a couple of days when I get to my full dose? Interesting. I was sitting on the couch reading my latest issue of All You that came today, and I found myself staring into space. Not even looking at anything. Just staring. Strange.
I don't even know if this post makes sense. My brain seems to be out of it. Hope it is only temporary.

2009-03-11T11:28:00.000-04:00

WW 46

2009-03-11T00:09:00.000-04:00

WW #46

1. What makes a person sexy to you?
The way they carry themselves. Being confident and strong.

2. When having the 'number of sex partners' talk with a potential significant other, would you be turned off if they had slept with more than a certain number of people? If yes, what is that number?
I don't think so. Unless maybe if that number was in the hundreds. I might think twice.

3. Once and for all, pocketbook sized dogs and the people who carry them in pocketbooks. Cute or crazy?
I am a sucker for little dogs. My Weezie is my little princess baby and if I could fit her in my pocketbook, I would.

4. Do you give up anything for Lent? If so, what?

No

5. If you live with someone, what is the one thing you will never let them see you do?
Tweeze my eyebrows. I don't are if he watched my take a crap or change a tampon but no eyebrow tweezing. Whatever!

Flirty by nature

2009-03-10T09:41:00.002-04:00

Play Here

1. Are you pro-marriage? Why or why not?
Sure. I think marriage is a wonderful thing. I like the commitment that two people are willing to make to one another. However, it can be magical and wonderful or it can be depressing and lonely. I've lived both.

2. Have you ever invented or thought you invented a sexual position?Ha. No.

3. Do you like to be tied up? Always or sometimes?
No. I like to use my hands.

4. Do you consider online cybering adultery?
Yes.

5. Do you prefer masturbation over real sex?
Real sex any day.

6. Do you want sex more times a day than your partner?
I think we're pretty equal.

7. Do you get offended when you partner openly flirts with others or are you okay with it?
He doesn't do it.

8. Do you think you're flirty by nature?
Definitely.

Cowtown girl.

2009-03-08T10:10:00.003-04:00

Sunday Stealing: The Random Question Meme

1. How old do you look?
I have no flipping clue. Maybe someone can tell me how old I look.

2. Where do you live?
I live on Cape Cod, in Taxachusetts

3. Are you waiting for something?
I'm waiting for Bud to make that Smirnoff delivery.

4. What’s one pet peeve of yours that is not common?
I can't stand the feeling of microfiber. I think the towels look so cool but i freak when I touch them.

5. Do you want/have kids?
I have some. Do you want em?

6. Have you ever thought about converting your religion?
I have and I did and I'm done with it.

7. Last shocking news you heard?
That Bud isn't going to be putting out a DVD of his latest adventures. I'm bummed.

8. What was the last thing you drank?
Crystal Light Focus.

9. Who do you most look like in your family?
I honestly don't know. I have some features of both parents but I don't know if I look like any one in particular.

10. If you could have something right now, anything, what would it be?
The winning powerball ticket.

11. Where does most of your family live?
Mostly in MA.

12. Where did you grow up?
Rochester, MA. A little cowtown about 50 miles south of Boston.

13. Where do you want to go on vacation?
Honest, I want to go back to Iowa to visit my Aunt & Uncle.

14. Have you ever had a panic attack?
Oh yeah. Not fun.

15. What can’t you wait for?
Summer and the beach.

16. When’s the last time you told someone you loved him or her and meant it?
This morning.

17. Have your parents ever smoked pot?
Ha. Maybe. I don't know. I don't care.

18. Want someone back in your life?
Yes.

19. What do you order at the bar?
Vodka and soda with lime.

20. When was the last time you cried really, really hard?
It's been a couple of weeks.

21. Ever licked someone’s cheek?
Why would I do that?

22. What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?
Peanut butter on toast or peanut butter cookies.

23. Where were you on July 4th, 2008?
In Boston.

24. What are your nicknames?
Mom. Baby. Bitch.

25. If you could go back in time, how far back would you go?
I'd go back to about a year before my sister died.

The best of times & the worst of times

2009-03-07T09:59:00.003-05:00

Saturday 9: Your Bestest Day

1. What one day of your life do you think was your best day?
The day my husband and I got on that plane to Las Vegas and got married. It was amazing.

2. What one day of your life do you think was your worst day?
Watching my sister die.

3. If you had to pick the best year of your life, when was it and why? Wow, that's tough. Each year has had both ups and downs. I guess it would have to be the year my husband and I started our life together. While we both went through hell and back, we made it through and came out shining on the other side.

4. If you had to pick the worst year of your life, when was it and why?
I'd have to answer the same as the last question. Each year has had ups and downs.

5. Most recently, what night did you do something that you loved?
Last Saturday night. My husband and I enjoyed ourselves on a mini-vacation. Jacuzzi. Dinner. Smirnoff.

6. Most recently, what night did you do something that you hated?
Last Sunday night. I lay in bed for HOURS in agony with a toothache.

7. Tell us about your best relationship that did not work out.
That did not work out? uh There was no "best" relationship that didn't work out. They didn't work out for a reason. They sucked.

8. Tell us about your worst romantic relationship that you’ve had.
Fucktardville.

9. Is there a celebrity that you’d love to spend a “no hold bars” night with?

Oh yeah!

2009-03-06T11:37:00.000-05:00

Keep Believing

2009-03-05T19:42:00.002-05:00

Check out this Blog. I stumbled across it somewhere. It's the blog of a woman going through life with her husbands brain tumor.

Keep Believing

Prozac demons

2009-03-05T19:31:00.002-05:00

Who of you take or have taken Prozac. What has it done for your appetite? What has it done for your sex drive? Good? Bad? Increase? Decrease?
I wanna know. Comment anonymously if you wish. Thinking about things....

don't catch your weenie in your zipper!

2009-03-04T09:55:00.003-05:00

Wednesday Weirdness #45

1. What is one thing one of your closest friends does that drives you batshit crazy?
They way she can just drop her unbelievably horribly behaving kids off ANYWHERE and leave them. My kids are far from perfect and I know it, but I stick around when I bring them places so I can discipline them when needed.

2. When buying a new sex toy, what are the features you look for that you absolutely have to have?
He's got to be older than me. Strong. Handsome. Sexy. :-)

3. If you woke up the opposite gender for one day, what would be the biggest downside to that for you?
Making sure I don't catch my weenie in my zipper!

4. Do you use curse words in front of children?
Sometimes.

5. If you were zapped with a laser and turned into an animated character, what Disney movie would you hate to play a part in?
Snow White. I don't like sex with little people.

6. How would you react to your partner answering a phone call or text message during foreplay or intercourse?
Well, seeing that he is the BOSS, he has to answer the phone at certain times.

7. What are three things you want to try doing but haven't yet? (They can be sexual or non-sexual, doesn't matter.)
1. ride a motorcycle
2. Meet my bloggy friends
3. Rid the world of fucktards

Open Wide

2009-03-03T13:46:00.000-05:00

I'm all better now.

About the tattoo...

2009-03-02T19:42:00.002-05:00

For those of you asking WHERE I would put another tattoo.. I don't know. What I DO know is I saw this while searching for some Hello Kitty stuff and I died. I love it. It's perfect. I want one.

Just so we all understand, that is NOT my foot, however I love it. I don't know if I would get something like that on my ankle. The ankle H-U-R-T-S to get tattooed. I have a flower on one already. And theres a lot less fat padding those bones so I am scared.

I'm thinking about it. I'll figure out out.

It's cold here. Windy. Snowing. My tooth hurts. And I'm tired. Please pass the smirnoff! Bwahahahaha

Back from Beantown

2009-03-02T11:23:00.006-05:00

Thanks to all for the comments in my previous post. I had a good weekend. It was so nice to have a change of scenery.

I bought myself a new Hello Kitty ring.
This photo is my Kitty jewelry collection.

I'm seriously considering a Hello Kitty tattoo...

Don't try to take pictures of the city after you've had a few drinks. It comes out blurry.

Heading out to dinner.

Last night when I went to bed, I developed a HORRID toothache. OhMyGod. I was smashing the hot water bottle against my face as hard as I could. Hoping that either the pressure, the heat or a combination of both would work. I took 2 advil and lay there waiting for relief. Yeah. RNYers are not supposed to have advil. But you know what? I don't care. It worked.
I was going to get to the dentist today to have it taken care of but thanks to mother nature, my kids are home from school. We're lucky to only have a couple of inches of slush but it's still a mess.
I'll get to the dentist in the morning. That sucker is gonna get yanked out. I'm done dealing with it.

I'm not here.

2009-02-28T12:33:00.002-05:00

This weekend I am in Boston. Here are a few of the things I am doing.

Sitting in the window looking out over the city.

Drinking some Orange smirnoff.

Eating at the Border Cafe.

Sitting in the Jacuzzi.

Swimming in the pool.

Spending time with the one I love.

No Saturday Nine today. So Mimi - here's the word
FUCKTARD