I actually like it. I’ve lived all over LA and have found The Valley to be OK. Today I did a ride I used to do quite regularly but while I encountered some familiar things, there were some big changes.

Of course, I got zero pictures of anything of interest and only a few landscape views. So I expect everyone to gloss over this post and I’ll just write it for myself.

In no particular order:

• Homeless encampments – wow. I know we have a big homeless problem here but I passed by a large caravan, complete with loud junkie being loud. I was biking on a Sunday in an industrial area, so it was pretty much just me and the homeless.
• Bird Watcher – 5 minutes after biking by the homeless encampment, I came across an industrial bog that still had water in it (L.A. has had actual rain the past few months and actual standing bodies of water). And there, on the other side of the chain link, razor wire fence, was a birder. Looking at some birds with their binoculars. I glanced and saw some ducks.
• The Dam – I got up to Hansen Dam, which is in a place called Sun Valley. Not a ‘good’ neighborhood, but always has adorable families puttering on it. The views were beautiful – hard to believe I just passed the industrial wasteland lined with junkies and broken glass.
  
• Vaquero – I’m used to horse back riders around the dam, but this is the first time I’ve seen a full on Vaquero (Mexican “cowboy”). Beautiful saddle. Beautiful horse. Beautiful details. I was in awe. I wish I took a picture. Here is a non representative example:
  
• White (herons? Egrets?) – The Dam area had major fires the past year and now has actual standing water. I saw a dead, burnt husk of a tree covered in white dot. Then one of those white dots started flying off. I realized all the white dots were beautiful birds. I’m going to try to go trail riding there next week and get better pics. I stopped trail riding down there because people… live… in there… and I got afraid but I’ll brave it for the birds.
• Props – Sun Valley is right next to Burbank, the ‘Media Capitol of the World’. But way cheaper real estate. So it’s where all the movie houses store their props. Two GIANT FISTS, maybe 15-20 feet tall… one covered in ‘blood’. Huh. Good ol prop houses.

It’s always something when you live in the valley!

I read this awesome article, titled “How do cyclists physically survive the Tour de France? We asked a physiologist and former pro rider”

People are so quick to be like ‘oh well they dope’. Uhmmmmmmmmmm ok buddy. Yeah, they do. It sucks. But it’s not like you or I can just ‘the dope’ or whatever, and then go bike a Tour de France in competitive mode. In fact, to even just bike the ROUTE itself, no tour, just casual, one stage per day, “Most people take about six to eight months of continuous coached training to get there. … And anyone could accomplish that distance if they have enough motivation and enough food.”

More choice bits from the article (which you should read):

• There might be BEET JUICE in their drink bottles! The dietary part of the article is fascinating to me
• The riders can’t just become a couch potato right after the tour. They actually have to still work out over the next few weeks to wean their bodies from increased the blood flow/rigor it got used to
• Riders have a very high risk for lousy bone density and osteoporosis and MUST have an off season in order to regain bone density

I’ll spare ya’ll the picture of the giant veiny post tour legs.

While we all enjoy watching bike racing (to whatever extent you actually do like watching the races.. or the crashes… or wondering why the jerseys are so ugly…), I found this article about the logistics of setting up a race route (in this case, the Amgen California Tour) super interesting.

Highlights include:

• The need to book almost 1000 rooms PER NIGHT during the tour (so host city better have some hotels)
• A route that can a good prep for the Tour de France (I’m OK with California being used as a warm up for Le Tour LOL). It makes me extra happy to huff and puff on the same hills as the pros.
• Having to take schools into consideration. Already tough enough to deal with traffic to pick up your kid… sucks more if there is some sort of weird bike race type thing coming through town
• Blahblah railroad tracks blah
• Blahblah weather blah snow/rain/fires/landslides/riots/earthquakes/traffic or whatever other weather you get here in California. And yes, these are all types of weather here in Cali.

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Cyclists vs. Food

I’m SO GODDAMN CHIC. In my jeans and sunglasses, with no helmet on a citibike.

Outfit One
I won’t include the cost of the stupid bike, because I assume you, dear reader, already has a bike. This trendy outfit will only set you back $823. Even though the pants will get snagged in the chain, and the KillSpencer (which is a backpacky type thing) will set you back the cost of a new bike, you too can be stylish like a Parisian!
Fuck this outfit. You can get at least 2 high end kits, gorgeous cycling shoes and a sweet helmet for that price.

Outfit Two
Things are getting worse. Wear light colors, barely there sandals and a long skirt on a bike? Do you WANT to be filthy? And are you biking at .5 MPH? How is that hate going to stay on your head? This outfit is built on stack of LIES. Whoever came up with this outfit has never been on a bike in their life. This just angers me.
The total cost of THIS outfit is only $3,817. By the way, I just checked – this article was written by a man. Dude. Seriously. No. YOU go put on a stupid white long skirt, dumb one shouldered crop top (since you don’t wear bras, you won’t even realize that doing even a mild activity like biking in a strapless bra is stupid) and that $1640 purse (which will slide around to your front while biking and get in your way) and give it a try. THEN update your article. I’m offended just reading this.

No.

Outfit Three

Is this article a joke? It’s not on TheOnion.com so I guess we should take it seriously???
HEY PEOPLE DON’T GO BIKING WITHOUT YOUR LIPSTICK. Makes you go faster.

So… what is YOUR favorite outfit to go biking in?

*snickers*

Sorry, I couldn’t help it.

Ugliest Kit, 2015

This would totally be me