Vin tells me that during the Webinar, he’ll choose a guy to help figure out how to get a girl he likes, using his new system.  Honestly, I think Vin’s Pandora’s Box system is pretty cool, so if you don’t know much about it, now’s your chance to find out.  The webinar is free so you don’t have to pay anything to listen in.

So to get access, just go and opt into Vin’s Pandora’s Box site, and you’ll be sent the Webinar info.  (If you’ve already signed up, just do it again to get the webinar information)

So if you’re at all interested in the “mind reading” tactics and things like that, be sure to check it out.  It was supposed to happen yesterday but I guess Vin had some trouble with his servers, so today’s your chance to check it out.

This article is for guys who want to learn pickup but are too afraid to go into the field. If you’re already good at pickup, don’t bother with this one.

After teaching pickup for the last 5 years, I’ve seen my fair share of guys who read pickup tips and then don’t try any of it. It’s the paramount problem that prevents people from improving.

For some guys, there’s a vicious cycle going on.

They can’t get women because they don’t have a lot of balls.

The won’t get any balls until they go into the field.

They can’t go into the field because they’re too scared of what might happen.

So the process of learning can’t ever begin, because in order to learn pickup, you must spend many hours in the field.

It’s a catch 22. You need the fear to go away so you can go in field, but the fear won’t go away until you go in field.

A lot of newbies are caught in this catch 22. They begin to feel that the field is an unattainable goal, and the only thing that might help their game is to read and study some more.

The bad news is that you can’t read and study your way into a girl’s pants. This isn’t grad school. Memorizing a bunch of theories won’t get you very far.

Furthermore, all of that reading moves many students backwards when it’s done with no field time (see The Forbidden Truth).

The solution to this issue is to make the field more attainable to newbies. In order to get to this goal, we’ll have to go against a few of the core pickup values temporarily.

So if you feel like you’re caught in this catch 22, I want you to suspend disbelief for a moment. This isn’t about finding a perfect 10 and cold approaching her and seducing her for a same night lay. You’ll have to work your way up to that. For now, it’s better to start with much smaller goals.

The first goal is to be able to function and be comfortable in a night life environment.

The second goal is to be able to have a conversation with someone in a night life environment.

The third goal is to be able to talk to a woman or group of women for a good 10 minutes without getting negative or nervous.

If you can do that, you’ve made a small step towards seducing the super hotties you’ve got your eye on. But first things first.

In order to make this extremely easy and attainable, I’d like to turn you on to some of the easiest places to socialize. If you’re advanced, or you already have normal social skills, you can skip the rest of this article. This is purely for the guys who are sitting home reading because they are too scared to go out and meet women.

Here are the 2 easiest settings to socialize in:

1- BBW Parties

What’s a BBW, you might ask? Well it’s a politically correct term for “fat chick.” BBW stands for “big beautiful woman.” There are organizations that throw weekly or month parties for BBWs and their gentleman admirers.

The rejection rate is very low at this kind of event. You don’t have to be good at pickup at all. You don’t have to use any lines or techniques, just show up and start talking off the top of your head and you’ll be fine.

I’m not saying you have to date these women or have sex with them, but you can talk with them so you get used to being in the presence of a woman.

In many ways, they respond the same way a normal woman would respond. So it’s really good practice. If you can get good at gaming BBWs, it’s a small leap to being able to game average girls. Who knows, you might even feel some connection or spark with a woman, or make some good friends.

They have these parties all over the country. Just type your zip code and “BBW party” into Google and you’ll see what I mean. Here’s an example- www.clubbounce.net

2- Goth Clubs

The Goth scene is full of people who have trouble socializing and want to break out of this issue and build relationships with others like themselves. In some ways it’s inspirational. The Goths have turned social isolation into a virtue.

People in the goth scene are extremely friendly and accepting of others. They will talk to anyone, no matter how awkward they may be. Many Goths are overcoming social awkwardness themselves, and the goth scene is a safe haven for them to develop their social skills.

You don’t have to look like a goth or dress like a goth to go to a goth club. They’re not the kind of people who would exclude you based on what you’re wearing. Many people who go to goth clubs are 9 to 5 office worker types. Goth clubs have a lot of people who don’t “look the part.”

The best part is that even if you spend the whole night scared and sulking in the corner by yourself, that actually makes you pretty cool by goth standards.

The bonus is that you also get the occasional super hot goth chick in a corset and pigtails. That will brighten your day.

Even if you’re scared to death of social situations, you’ll probably do OK in these 2 settings.

I hope this helps you make the first small step towards becoming more social.

-Brad P.

Eponymous writes:

There don’t seem to be very many comfort routines in the community, even though I’ve heard a lot of big names declare that “the game is played in comfort”. This is a great routine that anyone should be able to use, and it is automatically rooted/personalized, since you’re using your own parents as an example.

Summary: You tell the girl how your parents (or grandparents) met and got married, emphasizing differences in the story each parent tells you. A good lead in is “I asked my parents how they met the other day and…”

script_: I won’t share my parents’ story, which is awesome but not congruent for other people, so here is how you get your own parents to open up (this routine can work with grandparents as well, so you have potentially three different couples to choose from).

All you have to do is ask your mother and father, separately, how they met. Press them for as many details as you can: what were the first words they said to each other, where did they go for their first few dates, was it love at first sight or did it evolve over time, were there any other boys/girls in the picture, etc. You’d be surprised how much your parents will remember.

Now the key thing here is to do this separately, because very often you will get different perspectives or even two completely different takes on the same set of events. In my case, my father left out some very juicy details that my mom later told me. These kinds of inconsistencies make the routine way more interesting for girls.

From here you can take the conversation in a number of interesting directions: male-female interactions, how her parents met, the show How I Met Your Mother, etc.

Calibration: Emphasize certain aspects of the story over others, depending on what you want to convey to the woman. In my case, it turns out my dad was basically a player who finally chose to settle down with my mom, so that kind of story sends really good signals about pre-selection and brain-hijacking (credit: MM) to the girl.

Building comfort is SO important.  It’s nice to have a good routine like this to fall back on.

Men
32% every day
29% three times a week
18% three times a day
9% every time you sleep with your significant other
7% twice a week
3% once a week
1% once a month
1% twice a month

Women
27% three times a week
25% every day
13% every time you sleep with your significant other
10% twice a week
9% three times a day
8% once a week
5% once a month
3% twice a month

Frankly, I think women who want more sex are a-okay in my book.  But the real question is – where do the 27% of women who want sex 3 times a week hang out??? lol.

Joker writes:
Strip clubs are one my favorite places to pick up women. Consider the logistics: you’re surrounded by gorgeous, scantily clad women. The alcohol is flowing, every element of the environment is designed for seduction — from the music, to the lighting — and every one of these hotties is eager to talk to YOU.

Of course, most guys who set foot inside strip clubs are content to be customers, forking over their cash for pointless lap dances and superficial conversations with women who view them as human ATM machines.

The pickup artist, however, views strip clubs as target-rich environments filled with sexy, available women. These are also great places to hone your skills and become comfortable flirting with 9’s and 10’s in “regular” settings.

Now, are strippers simply trying to separate you from the contents of your wallet? Of course they are-at first. It’s their job. But you can use tactics to flip the script, cause them to stop perceiving you as a customer, and make them play YOUR game instead of playing theirs.

Put the right tactics to work, and you can build connections, collect phone numbers, and set up dates that lead to sex — just as you would at a bar. Strippers aren’t the unattainable, unaffordable goddesses that most guys assume they are. They’re just women. It all comes down to knowing how to break through their facade, connect with them on a real level, and get them to feel genuine curiosity and attraction.

Here are ten of my tips for strip club success:

1. Go in with the right mindset: when you’ve got game, you know you’re way more interesting and confident than 99% of the customers who come to this place. Strippers spend most of their shift having tedious conversations with lame, predictable men. Once you’ve demonstrated otherwise, she’ll be pleasantly surprised to meet you.

2. When you enter the club, walk around with your head held high, like you are totally familiar with this environment. Never lurk or mill around as if you’re unsure of where to sit. Find a seat and settle in, preferably near a speaker. (I’ll explain why in a moment.) Do not sit on “pervert row” (this is what the girls call the seats in front of the stage.)

3. When a stripper you like approaches you, don’t let her sit on your lap. Make her sit beside you. (”Whoa, easy there! Have a seat next to me until we get to know each other a little better.”) Having a cocky, playful attitude goes a long way in the strip club. It conveys confidence and establishes that you understand her “game”-and aren’t going to follow her script.

Also, don’t agree if she immediately offers a dance. Pretend like you didn’t hear her correctly-act like you think she asked YOU to dance for HER.

Say something like, “Are you sure you can afford me? I charge $100 for three songs, and no touching below the belt.”

Get her to sit down next to you, and ask her name. She’ll tell you her “dancer name.” (Mercedes, Porsche, Destiny, etc.) To this, give another playful response: “My dancer name is Hercules. I dance on Tuesdays and Thursdays at the club down the road. But I’ll tell you what if you tell me your real name, I’ll tell you mine. Just promise me you won’t stalk me or do anything weird.”

Say this playfully, and you’ll get her to laugh and tell her your real name. Now you’re starting the interaction on a genuine level, and you’re breaking her out of her “work” mind frame. Strippers, like salesmen, have a canned “script” that they use on every customer; when you control the interaction instead of answering her questions, she is unable to use her script and has no choice but to be real with you.

Preferably you’ll be sitting with her near a speaker (I suggested you choose this area to sit in), because now you can say “let’s move somewhere quieter, I want to be able to hear you.” This shows you value what she has to say, and gives it the feel like a “mini date”: you’re taking her somewhere, even if it’s just to the other side of the room. Physically leading a woman to another area is a great way to convey masculinity and confidence.

4. Keep your eyes off of her body and maintain eye contact. Never comment on how good she looks; if anything, call her “cute.”

“You’re cute, but I can tell there’s more to you than meets the eye. So tell me something about yourself that none of these customers would ever guess about you.” (Again, you’re framing yourself as not being a customer.)

5. Be respectful of her profession. Never refer to it as “stripping”; the term to use for her is “dancer.” Say (or imply) that you’ve dated dancers before and demonstrate familiarity with her profession. Then I’ll say, “It’s too bad I swore off dating dancers, because I can tell you and I would get along.” (If she asks you “why you don’t date dancers,” be vague-just tell her, “It’s a long story, I’ll tell you about it sometime.” Then ask her another question that prompts her to keep thinking and sharing.

Another good line to use: “I know you must have some funny stories from working here. My friend is a dancer in Las Vegas, and she told me some hilarious stories about the customers who come in these places”

6. Befriend the staff: bouncers, coat check, bus boys, DJs, managers, the owner, etc. When you visit, staff members should know and greet you. This gives you high social value (or “social proof”) in the eyes of the dancers; again, you’re not a typical customer.

Befriending male staff members is easy: I’ll bring a can of Red Bull over to the doorman and say, “Here, I thought you could use this,” and give him the drink. Then tell him, “you must be the envy of all your friends-hanging out in a club full of beautiful, half-naked women every night and getting paid for it. By the way, my name’s Dean.”

Nine times out of ten, the doorman will proceed to tell you why working at a strip club is anything but exciting and glamorous. Have a few laughs with him; chat for a few minutes, then head back to your seat. He knows you now, and he’ll appreciate the gesture. Every time you return from now on, he’ll give you a warm welcome.

Befriending the manager or owner will give you even greater social proof. To do this, I’ll ask my waitress to point out the person who is running the place. Then I’ll walk up to the manager/owner, introduce myself, and tell them this is one of my favorite clubs. Then, I’ll say that I’m trying to find a good location for my buddy’s upcoming bachelor party and I think this place would be perfect. I’ll ask how much it would cost to reserve a VIP room and several dancers for a few hours.

(I never actually come back for any bachelor party; I just use this as an “ice breaker” to get to know the manager/owner. They’re happy to talk to me about this. When I return in the future, if they ever ask me about the bachelor party plans, I say with a smile, “well actually, it looks like we’ll be throwing him a divorce party pretty soon. Do you do those, too?”

7. Don’t forget, the girls are there to make money. Go on slow nights when there aren’t a lot of customers vying for their attention. When you sit down with a girl and you’ve been chatting for a little while, it’s okay to buy a dance from her-but a minute or two into the song, tell her she can sit back down, and resume the conversation. (Again, always behave like a non-customer.)

8. During the conversation, apply the same tactics you would use on women in a bar. At all times, you will control the direction of the conversation and keep taking it to a deeper level, instead of trying to fill the time with pointless small talk.

9. One of the most effective ways to bond with a stripper is to get her to reveal her hidden talent and or/ambition. They’ve all got one. Strippers are used to customers treating them like brainless sex objects, and deeply appreciate it when a guy recognizes them for being more than that. This conversational thread also gives you the opportunity to reveal YOUR talent/ambition to her. (To women, a guy with passion and ambition is often MORE attractive than the guy who already has a lot of money.)

10. As far as “closing” with the dancer you like, you need to find a reason for her to to meet you after her shift ends. (Special tactics are necessary here, because strippers normally have a tendency to be flakes.)

Meeting up with her that same night needs to be your primary goal. This is why an essential part of seducing strippers is knowing two or three “go-to” spots that are within easy driving distance of the club, where you can meet and chill with her when she gets off work.

Always “oversell” these places to her. Instead of asking her to meet you at a bar (which sounds boring and ordinary), tell her that the bar has “the most amazing appetizers” or “the most incredible jukebox” or that “your buddy Mike the bartender makes the best margaritas you’ve ever tasted.” This provides additional motivation and frames you as a guy who is “in the know” and is going to turn her onto something cool.

There’s some pretty good stuff in this post.  If you’d like to learn more about picking up strippers,  check this website out.