Tiaras and Trucks

10/12/02

2013-10-17T17:27:00.000-07:00

I had all these great things I planned on writing about last weekend as Josh and I celebrated our 11th year of eing married, but I was sick, and tired, and honestly, I never got a chance to sit down and blog....

Last Saturday was beautiful, almost as beautiful as it was 11 years ago. The eweather was perfect, I was surrounded by family and friends, and I was marrying Josh....my knight in shining arrmor, the man brave enough to marry me, who loved my family, and wanted to be with me!!

Over the years we have had alot of bumps in the road....Sometimes I think we have had more than most people our age, but somehow we managed to stay together, still love each other,and survive.
We have 1 angel baby, and two beautiful kiddos here with us....sometimes I look at them and think we must have done something right to get not one, but two kids with amazing personalities, beautiful kiddos who love us, love God, and are insanely smart!

We have lived in two states, 6 houses, had numerous gerbils, 3 dogs, survived job losses, and other losses, but still manage to stick together. :)

Joshua Steven Ralph, Thank you for putting up with me every day, thank you for loving me, thank you for loving my family....I cant believe we just celebrated our 11th anniversary, and I can't wait to see what the next 11 years will bring...just think athena will be almost done highschool in 11 years.....hopefully we all will survive! LOL!!

5 years old

2013-10-17T17:16:00.000-07:00

Tonight as I sat down to write my birthday post for Caleb, I feel extra emotional....A friend of mine just found out yesterday that her twins did not have a heartbeat, and tomorrow she will "deliver" them. she was 9ish weeks along, and my heart just breaks for her. So that is what I am thinking about right now...

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I really cannot believe that my baby boy is going to 5 tomorrow! It seems like just yesterday we were getting ready to celebrate his 2nd birthday....This last year Caleb has grown and learned lots of new things!
He has learned how to write his name, and recognize some words. He has learned how to ride a 2 wheeler. He has lost his fear of (most)loud noises, but is still bothered by some. He wants to learn to play the guitar, and the drums....He loves to perform and does a great job. He is our silly, sensitive, loving, happy, handsome little man, and I really can not picture our life without him!

5 years ago I didn't feel like I was in labor, I felt tired, but seriously if you saw me you would not have faulted me (I was HUGE!!) We got up that Saturday morning like any other, and decided to go shopping. I was obsessed with getting a specific double stroller and figured that morning (my due date) was as good as any, plus I would have it whenever the boy decided to be born.
After our purchase we decided to stop at my parents house to show them my awesome stroller! My mom asked if I felt OK, I was like sure, just tired...she made me call my midwife, who said come on up we can check you out since its your due date, but I'm sure we will send you home. so we left Athena with my parents and went back home. we took a nap, then I took a shower and did my hair (just in case) packed my bag and left it in the car (just in case) but figured we would be heading home in an hour or so. Got all checked in and hiked all the way over to labor and delivery....got all changed (which cracks me up because then you have to unchange if you get sent back home) my midwife came in and checked me, and checked me again and told me we were not going anywhere I was 6-8cm! What?!? I thought she was messing with me!! anyway, I had to have antibiotics so they managed to get 1 bag in before my water broke....after that its all kind of a blur, but the short and sweet version (that does not include me punching a nurse) (actually I did punch her, but I don't remember it at all....and she told me after I apologized that they let alot go for moms who don't have pain meds)
is that I was too far along to bother with an epidural, so.....after 3 pushes Caleb Steven Ralph was born. I had some minor complications that scared Josh, but all was well, and once the boy was all cleaned up I saw that I had a BLOND, BLUE eyed, baby boy! 9pounds 1 ounce 21 inches long....without any drugs (yay me!)
I remember my parents bringing Athena up and how big she looked next to him, and I remember realizing that my heart must have grown during those 9 months because I had so much love for BOTH of my babies.

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Happy Birthday Caleb, you make us laugh with your silly faces, and I hope that this next year brings all sorts of amazing new things for you. I love you so much little man!!

Love,
Mommy

1 week later

2013-08-26T12:55:00.002-07:00

Today is exactly 1 week since Josh had his gallbladder removed. Yes he has had pain, but he looks better, he says other than pain from his surgery,he feels better. He has been eating regularly, and today went back to work for a few hours. I am so glad that I decided to "go with my gut" and had Josh see the surgeon. If not, he would still be sick and in pain, taking medication that he did not need becuase a dr was too caught up in himself to refer him somewhere else......basically waiting for his gallbladder to perforate or something else to happen that would have brought him to the ER again. There are times when I (and yes I know this is wrong, but its true) feel like God forgot about us, or was letting us figure things out on our own, but through all this, I am so thankful that I know God was watching over us, keeping Josh "healthy" enough to continue on until we saw the surgeon, and healthy enough to undergo surgery. Thankful for nurses on his floor who took good care of him, thankful for "buddies" here where I work that helped move this process along. Thankful for the meals that some people in the church provided (I was soooooo exhausted!) Thankful for the people who have called to check on us, and thankful for the people who made a point at church yesterday to come see Josh and ask how he is doing etc..Thankful for my parents who had the kids long days/nights when I was up at the hospital with Josh. Josh has his post op appointment Thursday so hopefully he will get a clean bill of health, and can continue healing and getting back to himself.

reflections from the waiting room

2013-08-26T12:44:00.002-07:00

I know some of you have been trying to keep up with our most recent medical "journey"...I'll give you a brief catching up..... the second week in July Josh had what we thought was just a nasty stomach bug, but it didn't get better in fact it seemed to get worse. About 4 days into it he started having some abdominal pain that became localized and we (even the medical staff) were pretty sure it was appendicitis. But that would have been too easy..... The results came back that his appendix was fine. He had some inflammation in his colon (attributed mostly to the stomach bug) and gallstones.
Now, my non medical degrees brain said let's rule out the gallbladder first since that's a relatively "easy" fix. Instead, he was set up with a GI Dr. who when asked again seeing as there is family history of gallbladder stones. Instead he decided to order a colonoscopy for Josh the following week (stating that he thought it was intestinal). He also started him on prednisone to help with inflammation....it didn't.
Josh was still in pain: Nauseated,taking pain meds, somehow managing To go to work ,but that was about it. He would come home and just have to sit, being in too much pain to do much of anything else.

At the follow up apt last Tuesday (8/13), the GI Dr tells us he still doesn't know what's going on but wants to start Josh on another, stronger medication that is usually used to treat Crohns. When I asked him if thats what he thought Josh had, he told us no, "I'm not sure what is wrong, but let's try this medication for a few months and see if it helps".......I (again) brought up the gallbladder/stones saying family history etc..shouldn't we at least have a consult and rule it out if nothing else? He then snapped at me saying" HE would decide when and if to go and see general surgery and HE didnt think it was the time.".
Well, I was not impressed at this point, and basically he and I were starting to get into a power struggle...I guess that he is not usually questioned, or used to having someone disagree with what he says, and he didnt like it.
I went back to work and went right over to my buddies at general surgery. I told them what happened at GI and asked if they could schedule Josh for a consult with one of their surgeons.....they got him in 3 days later. Josh saw the surgeon at 9am on friday where he did an exam, looked at all the tests and labs that had been done, ordered more labs, and did an ultrasound of the gallbladder....by 3pm the same day Josh had a diagnosis (choleocystitis), a plan (surgery monday), and an escape plan(er, surgery sooner if pain got to be too much) I was beyond frustrated that Josh had to suffer so long becuase the GI dr didnt want to "release" him to another department.(that it took almost 6 weeks) but thrilled that my poor husband had answers, and was reassured that yes something is wrong and it can be fixed. He was literally shutting down physically as well as mentally. One can only have that kind of constant pain with no relief or answers for so long without thinking you might be going crazy.
Saturday morning we went to the ED. Josh had had alot of pain, and we were hoping they would be able to do the surgery. Unfortunately I got to argue with a resident who didnt think Josh even needed to be there ("we dont like to do surgery on the weekends...really? isnt that kind of your job?)...after about 5 minutes of him talking down to me and arguing with me I told him I was done. I told him to go page the surgeon we saw yesterday. he did, and I was able to speak to him as well. We decided to hold off on surgery that day,admit josh to be able to monitor infection and pain,keep him hydrated and take it day by day.
if surgery needed to be done sooner fine, but if not he would be "better" by Monday. Today (monday) he had surgery. he went in around 2:30 and was done almost exactly one hour later. Im sitting here waiting to go see him in recovery.... Everything went well, they removed the gallbladder and sent "stuff" to pathology. They said there was some inflammation behind where the gallbladder was that could be some beginnings of crohns or IBS, or could just be from the gallbladder irritating it due to inflammation. 1 hour after surgery Josh had color back in his face, and even told me that his body felt better..... This has been a journey, and as much as I would like to say its all over, and downhill from here, something tells me that its not over. But one thing is for sure, Im here for my hubby, whether that means getting him pepsi, pushing his wheelchair, making him get up and walk around, or flat out advocating for him when doctors try to push him aside.... ----------------------------------------- I'll keep you all posted on his recovery process.

July 31st? how did this happen?

2013-07-31T09:04:00.001-07:00

I feel like every time I plan to keep up with blogging and sharing all the craziness that is my life, something comes up and blogging takes the back seat again... Athena was really sick the week of her birthday, thankfully the blockage made its way out on its own and shes been fine since. About a week after that josh had what we thought was a stomach bug (a nasty one too) but after 4 days he started having pain which became localized sending him to the dr, and then the ED with suspected appendicitis. The CT scans came back surprising everyone showing his appendix was fine, he had some puzzling inflammation in his intestine as well as stones in his gallbladder. ...interesting......That was on a monday. That friday he saw GI who scheduled a colonoscopy (Josh was not thrilled about that) for the following wednesday. Josh did amazingly, but through all this his pain has been constant. Prasie the Lord he has not had to miss work though all this, but by the time he gets home he is in so much pain he cant do anything which of course frustrates him. We are going on the third week of this saga. next week he is scheduled to see a surgeon to consult about the gallbladder. His PCP called him today telling him that it looks like he has either crohns or IBD and he will start prednizone to see if that takes care of the inflammation. (I know, why did they not start him on it 3 weeks ago?--your guess is as good as mine, especially since I asked about it with GI) So, right now thats where everything stands as far as a DX and all the "fun" we have been having.... Next weekend my SIL,her kiddos, her mom and sister will be here for a visit, and I cant wait! Im looking forward to our semi-annual shopping trip to OUAC and Goodwill, and I cant wait to see my (not so) little niece! :) Im sitting here at work, looking out the windows at the GORGEOUS sunny weather and feeling a little bummed that Im in here. The worst part is that I have all my billing completely done for the day and other than the few patients that are scheduled to come in, I dont really have anything to keep me busy for the next 5 hours :( Seriously thinking about taking a longish lunch today.... Tomorrow and Friday my kids have VBS which mean I have 3 hours to myself both mornings!!!! Ill spend tomorrow cleaning but friday I dont know, maybe I will go back to bed, maybe I will go shopping....the possibilities are endless...this never happens!! Im looking forward to playing and having fun in the afternoons though :) Well, its almost time for my lunch break so I will end this post for now...I will continue to keep you posted on Joshs situation, but if you think of us, send up a prayer. His pain is constant, and honestly, I am just tired and worn out....physically,emotionally I feel really spent.

Happy Birthday my princess

2013-06-25T16:55:00.002-07:00

My little girl turns 7 tomorrow......7! When did this happen? It seems like just yesterday I was arguing with the nurse who called to tell me I was pregnant. Yes, I argued with her, we had gotten to the point where we didnt think we could get pregnant, and when my labs came back "odd" they ran another test only to call me to let me know I was pregnant......with my daughter.....our princess....our miracle....Athena.

Here are some highlights of her year.....

celebrating with our family in Michigan

riding a 4 wheeler with daddy

riding a horse!!!

pretending to drive a 4 wheeler herself

she was put in stocks....just kidding :)

loves animals....loves her cousins

if we cant find her, we just look for an animal.....

picture with a "real bear!"

she got an escalade...and drives it around

Bella came back to us

she loves me :) This was mothers day

started. and loves gymnastics

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She got her ears pierced!!!!!

Made new friends

is super cute!

looks like her mommy....

Happy Birthday my girl.....even though we have our "moments" I wouldnt trade you for anything! I love you so much, and am so proud of all that you have learned this year, and can't wait to see what new things you will learn this year!! Happy 7th Birthday Athena!!
Love,
Mommy

Bragging on my kids :)

2013-06-25T16:38:00.001-07:00

The kids had programs in april and may so here are some of the highlights from that time.

this was in our backyard one morning

being silly

my boys

ha ha

silly faces

pretty girl and mommy

being a silly boy

still being silly

lining up before performance

singing

every time he saw me with the camera he stopped and smiled

I'm a little teapot

"i'm number 8 frog mama"

getting awards

another award

and another award

smart little cookie!

before her performance

being silly waiting for sisters program to start

scowl face

1st grade

singing

she loves performing!!

the elementary

still cheezin' for the camera

Catching up

2013-06-20T18:01:00.000-07:00

So the last few days I have been thinking about my poor blog, and how I have been kind of neglecting it as well as all of you lately...It wasnt intentional, I have been so busy lately, or just so drained at the end of the day that all I want to do is sit on the couch and veg for a little bit.....
I will probably just do a wordless post another day so that I can get pictures and videos up from all of our recent successes,performances, outings, random stuff, vacations, family etc....
So I am going to back up a month or so:

May- June 2013

Elementary spring program....my girl was one of the narrators, and she did an awesome job! She sang songs with her class, and overall is such a little performer! (I dont have any idea where she gets it) The following week Caleb had his preschool program...apparently he is also a little performer! He sang his little heart out, made silly faces, and overall had a great time up on the stage! :)
Then Athena had her award ceremony. I have a confession: I didnt want to go, I didnt want to be out "late" again with the kids, I wasnt planning on going..... we were leaving for 10 days the next day and I had a million things I had to do and sitting in the auditorium wasnt one of them....then I found out that it was mandatory (yay) so, we rushed home after I got done work, the kids ate a super healthy dinner of chef boyardee, we fancied athena up (hair and dress) and then hurried back to williston in time for the award ceremony. The "bad/selfish mommy" in me was hoping that she at least got one or two awards to make it "worth it" (I know...how awful is that) Meanwhile I was telling Athena that she might not get any awards and that its ok...
Well, Athena received three awards, and they were all for academics! (yeah,yeah, good thing we went)

The next day the kids had school, and I took the day off so I could pack, clean, get the dog groomed and be ready to go on our vacation later that day. Normally when we head to Michigan we drive straight through---leave early in the morning and arrive that night (12hrs+/-) This time we decided to make the whole thing our vacation. We left wednesday afternoon and drove about 5 hours stopped in Canada and stayed at a hotel, left the next morning and were at my inlaws early afternoon the next day...it was much nicer that way, and we did the same thing on the way home....when we asked the kids what they liked the best about the vacation..."the pool at the hotel!" :) at least they had fun ;) We had a nice time seeing family, and relaxing as much as possible....This was the first time that I felt really at home, and relaxed with everyone that we saw in Michigan, and once the kids readjusted and slept (after the first couple of nights) it was really nice.

School decisions....Josh and I thought that we had it all figured out, planned etc...we got caleb in to the town preschool, planning on mornings, and then Athena would go there as well so they would be in the same place, we would save money,(she would have girls in her class) I had applied for a possible transfer and would be over at the fanny allen, life would be easy-peasey......then we didnt get mornings for caleb for preschool which would mean he would be in williston, and athena would be in essex, I didnt get the transfer so I would be in williston, lots of driving back and forth every day.......it was starting to make us question if we were making the right decisions.....then we received some other information that again made us stop and re-evaluate everything....so, right now we are doing just that, re-evaluating.....everything!! This is one of those times where we just want to make the right decision, and fear of making the wrong one is why we havent made one yet.........[ just to clarify we were not unhappy with anything at the school both kids were at, the financial part of private school scares us a little bit ]

Next week my baby girl turns 7.....7!!!!! seriously, how did this happen? She (and her cousin) lost both of her top front teeth "mom, I look so much older now" She just got her report card and got straight A's, and is officially a second grader now.....<sigh>

I feel like there is more that I should be catching you up on, but right now I cant think of anything else "exciting" that I can share with you.....dont worry though, Im sure I will come up with more in a few days ;)

So....thats been the last couple of months in the Ralph house....I will try to get some pictures and videos up for all of you by the end of the week....Thanks for reading....what have some of you done or plan to do this summer? I need ideas!! :)

Fun in the sun on Sunday....

2013-05-09T16:20:00.000-07:00

Some pictures of the kids "new" toy....It was so incredibly beautiful outside on Sunday, we spent most of the afternoon outside playing......so nice!

We got a new (to us) power wheels for the kids (thank you facebook kidswap!)....amazing how easily they can change their "bad" behavior when the threat of losing the car for a day is used as an incentive. :)

its scary how well they both drive!!

scary glimpse into the future....

even bella had fun outside!

Did you think I forgot about you??

2013-05-08T08:19:00.001-07:00

I promise, I didnt forget about all you out there who read my blog....I just havent had a whole lot of "free" time to sit and type.
Life has been so busy that at times I have felt like a hamster running on my wheel...going, going going, and then when I think I might get a break turning around and running the other direction!!
So many things have happened over the last month or so...let me see if I can remember and list some of them for you all:
-I "retired" from being a jewelry rep for touchstone...wasnt worth the time or energy.
- I started selling AVON. not half as many time/energy/financial requirements as jewelry, and its fun, I love meeting new people and Im actually making a little money too! :) my website is www.youravon.com/kralph
or let me know you want a book and I will totally get one (or more) to you!
-my grandparents moved back to VT :)
- Easter....
- for a week or two apparently sleep was an option, so that was fun (dripping sarcasm in case you couldnt tell)
- Completely unexpected email resulted in Bella coming back to us...I will explain later...
- Joshs birthday
-spring vacation--I worked 3 out of the 5 days, but the kids still had a good time!
- Possibility of some positive changes regarding work etc...

Phew! Im tired just reading the list...we are also planning a family vacation to Michigan to see family at the end of May, so that will be fun. its always nice to see the "michigan cousins" and just spend time out there.
-----May 8------> I thought that I had posted this, but it just went to drafts instead....
Today is my friday at work, so maybe before the end of the week I can get another more updated post with pictures for all of you....no promises, life is busy, but I will do my best :)

easter 2013

2013-04-02T08:06:00.001-07:00

We had a great day with family, hunting for eggs, playing outside, and just overall a really lovely Easter. Hope you enjoyed the pictures :)

new ebook on amazon!

2013-04-02T06:47:00.002-07:00

I have alot that I need to gather together and post one of these days, but today I am promoting an ebook that a friend of mine just wrote. Deanna is so talented and I love how she writes honestly about so many things. She makes motherhood seem real, and lets me know that Im not the only mom out there who sometimes feels like I am failing....
so, anyway, here is the link to her ebook. I just bought it and cant wait to start reading!!

http://www.amazon.com/Diapers-Onesies-Stretch-Marks--ebook/dp/B00C4YY3TE/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1364907684&sr=1-1&keywords=diapers,%20onesies,%20stretch%20marks&tag=vglnkc4102-20

Rediscovering my joy...

2013-03-02T16:19:00.000-08:00

Ok, so todays title might sound alot deeper than necessary, but lately I have felt that I am just trudging along trying to survive, and somewhere in survival mode I seemed to lose my joy....my ability to enjoy things: my kids, every day outings, my family...pretty much everything.... I don't know why or when exactly I "lost" my joy, but I am trying (and thankful for my hubby who is helping me ) to not only FIND my joy again, but ENJOY my daily activities.....
Today started rough, I was woken up earlier than I wanted, and for a stupid/silly reason....so I started my day tired....BUT we had lots to do!! this afternoon I debated whether to take the kids downtown for mardi gras parade...I hate doing stuff like that without Josh, but he had to work. So the kids and I chatted about safety, obedience etc...and I told them if I could find somewhere to park we could go...of course, there were a bunch of spots ("it must be meant to be mommy"-Athena) parked and walked down for the parade...it was cold, and loud, but the kids had a blast and got tons of beads!!

just sitting around waiting....

getting into the music

exploring a little bit....

more exploring

"is it time yet??"

the only picture of the parade....they had a lorax float, and the kids were thrilled!

We hiked back to the car, and came home to warm up with hot chocolate and baths before dinner....after dinner they were being silly and wanted to dance...so we found some "dance music" and let them loose...I know some of this will be long, and probably boring, but I laughed, and enjoyed my kids during this, and wanted to share my silly little monkeys with you! So....enjoy! :)

The Plan....

2013-02-21T16:40:00.000-08:00

So, most of you know that my princess is not a good sleeper. She has never been a good sleeper, literally from the day she was born she would wake up multiple times during the night, which continued until she was about 2ish, she still will wake up 2-3 times a night for various reasons, and yet no matter how tired she is she will be awake for the day between 5 and 6 am like clockwork. I have never had to wake her up for school, or anything else....this might sound odd, but I would LOVE to be able to be the first one awake in the morning and have breakfast ready when everyone wakes up, but my princess always is awake first...

I wont bore you with details of conversations, incentives, bribes, demands etc....that we have tried, all to no avail...
this year we changed pediatricians for her (she LOVES her new dr) and with that came new discussions/ideas etc...on how best to help Athena get the sleep her body needs...about a month ago we chatted with her dr and decided to have a consult with the pediatric sleep disorder dr.....who ironically is the dr that Josh saw when he was diagnosed with sleep apnea....anywho...

Today we met with him thanks to my awesome friend who got us in sooner (Nikki you rock!!) Since she already had her adenoids out this past summer his plan to start is behavior modification....basically we are going to make her body think it is being deprived of sleep, and once she is able to sleep more than a couple of hours without waking we will start to retrain her sleep cycles......Here is the part that makes me nervous: Normally her bedtime is 7pm --yes, I know that is early, but she is so tired and wakes so early that this has been working (sort of)--- and she is normally awake between 5 and 6 am. Now the plan is to keep her awake/put her to bed later but still wake her up at 6am no matter what.
I am willing to try this, I shared my apprehension with the dr about this , and here is why:
1) with her current sleep schedule we (meaning me) experience extreme mood swings, unpleasant behavior, outright meanness,crying, fits etc...
2) she is already tired when she wakes up, and towards the end of the day. keeping her up later will mean more/longer periods of unpleasantness ...
3) This is selfish, but the ONLY time I get alone to do anything is after the kids are in bed, and on the nights Josh works late, I get almost 2 hours TO MYSELF.....this will become nonexistent during this trial...and the selfish part of me doesnt want to go through with it becuase honestly, I NEED some time by myself....
4) I honestly dont know if I have the patience, calmness, energy and whatever else that I will need to go through the normal daily routine in our house (cook,clean,drop off,pick up, work, etc...) and not lose my sanity.....Tonight I will let JOsh know about the appointment, and talk about the plan etc...I can;t do this without his help. That might mean he will have to get up "early" on his day off, or a late day to help me, he will have to be patient and understanding with Athena while we are doing this, otherwise I dont think it will happen.
I know, some of you are reading this thinking...what is the big deal? Athena will stay up later, why are you writing a (rather long) post about it....well, lately I feel like I can't add anything else to my plate, I feel unappreciated, and like I am doing 99% of everything, so taking away my small space of time where I can be alone with my thoughts, decompress, sit at the computer, veg, or watch a grown up show on tv, stresses me out......
BUT- my girl needs this, and no matter what I will figure out a way to make it work for her, so she will feel better, and be more successful in life by learning these skills that for some reason her little body has not let her learn.
So....thoughts, ideas etc...definitely appreciated....if you see me at work, or church , or anywhere and I look like I might be going just a little crazy, dont be offended if I dont see you, or wave or smile....its nothing personal, I am just coping...and helping my daughter.

Happy Thursday! I will post once we start this sleep training thing, and keep you all posted on our success (see optimism right there!) :)

family day

2013-02-20T05:27:00.002-08:00

Yesterday we planned to go to echo with the kids and explore and just have fun as a family.....It was fun, I wish that my other half would have been a little more into it, but the kids had a great time, and that is all that really mattered.
The cafe was not open (even though it said it was) so luckily I had packed a few snacks which held the kids until we were done for the day -yes, I know we could have left and come back after lunch, but that option was not thought to be best- so we had a really late lunch/early dinner at papa johns after we went to echo, and then had banana splits for dinner/dessert at home ....all in all a fun day. the kids were sooooo tired it was kind of funny :)
I am definitely thinking about getting a membership so we can go whenever we want, and it wouldnt be a pain if we only go for a couple of hours ......we will see :)
I know most of you already saw these on facebook but I wanted to share again....

in the kids play space, the turtle tank has a special tube so kids can see what its like...really cool!

playing on the sailboat in the playspace...really cool! I think the kids would have been happy to stay in this room for a few more hours!

in the frog section: the computer takes a picture of you and puts your face on a frog body...this is athena :)

the water sensory area...super fun...another place the kids would have loved to play for alot longer!

calebs turn to be inside the turtle tank

the kids made animal masks after learning about mammals etc..they had fur from all different animals, as well as skulls for the kids to touch and look at, and at the end they made masks...athena is a red fox and caleb is a black (and a few other colors) bear.

Since I forgot my camera yesterday these were taken with my phone, which actually didnt do too bad a job....today is a baking day, and a cleaning day......possibly a play date later this afternoon, but if not then we might head out to play in the snow.....happy wednesday!

sick...tired....whiny.....

2013-02-15T05:32:00.002-08:00

So sickness has "blessed" our family...Caleb started with a little stuffy nose and fever, then Josh got sick...he went to the dr to find out he had the flu...of course by the time he went he was at the tail end of it , and was basically almost better....thankfully I had nicely kicked him out of our bedroom on monday becuase he was keeping me up with his cousghing and thrashing...so that is one less room I "get" to disinfect....Athena so far has been healthy. She claims it is her baltic amber necklace that is helping her...frankly I dont care what it is as long as she stays healthy :)
Yesterday I woke up feeling cruddy...slight cough, headache, ridiculously tired...of course I would have loved to climb back in bed and sleep, rest etc..like my other half got to do for 2 days....unfortunately moms dont get sick days, so since josh went to work yesterday afternoon and had to work late I decided pizza delivery would be dinner. I just didnt care, didnt want to clean it up, didnt want to convince my kids to eat whatever I made...pizza is easy they like it...
Then after the kids were in bed, I made some tea, and climbed into bed to read for a little bit...hoping to be asleep nice and early. I did get to sleep early. not as early as I would have liked, but still earlier than usual....

Anyway, I am basically complaining and whining becasue I am frustrated, and tired, and wishing that I didnt have to be the one to do everything all the time. to be the one who makes sure food is on the table, clothes are clean, kids are bathed, homework is done, kids get dressed and ready for school, kids get to school etc.......

Maybe that will be my mothers day present......probably not....but a girl can dream right?

reward system

2013-02-05T16:00:00.002-08:00

A friend of mine posted a new reward system that she was doing, and it sounded interesting, and like something that I could actually manage to do! we modified what she did a little, but here is what we came up with.
Each child starts with $2.50 in dimes in their jar. If they are disrespectful, disobedient, or unkind then they lose a dime. This goes on for 1 week, and at the end of the week we count up the dimes and they turn them in for dollars or "real money" as caleb puts it.
This system has worked for us so far in that I dont feel like I am yelling as much.....instead, if one or both of them is being nasty all I say is thats 1 dime, or I just walk over and take 1 out of their jar....they dont always handle that well (there has been crying, screaming, and a couple of "your mean" directed at me, but its making a difference) but they are getting better, and thats all I was hoping for. It's a simple system, and it can be modified however best suits your family. we started at a smaller amount just in case they did super great, we want to be able to afford to keep this up :) but also becuase we didnt want it to be just about the money.....anyway, here are a few pictures from the first week that we did it, so far its helping behavior, and thats all I was hoping for :)

These are the jars. The flower on in the middle is athenas, the one on the right with a car on it is calebs and the one on the far left is the "lost" jar. where the dimes go when they are lost.

counting up dimes at the end of the first week

diligently counting

athena was not overly happy with her results....but it has motivated her this week to try a lot harder! She ended up with $1.60

caleb doesnt understand it all as much, but he was happy that he could turn in his dimes for "real money"
he ended up with $1.90

Worn

2013-02-04T16:02:00.002-08:00

I first heard this song a couple of weeks ago, and it brought tears to my eyes....it was describing me perfectly...I have been tired, and worn, and feeling empty....He tells how this song came about---he has two small kids and he and his wife were getting little to no sleep, and as he was leaving to go to work his wife grabbed his arm and said "I'm worn..." he went in and said they had to come up with a song about being worn to help encourage others..... This song reminded me that we will have seasons like that, but that we are never alone. God is always there, he hurts when we hurt, but he can give me the strength to make it through another day.
So here are the words to the song Worn by tenth avenue north:

I'm tired
I'm worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes to keep on breathing

I've made mistakes
I've let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world
And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
Cause I'm worn

I know I need
To lift my eyes up
But I'm too week
Life just won't let up
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
Cause I'm worn

And my prayers are wearing thin
I'm worn even before the day begins
I'm worn I've lost my will to fight
I'm worn so heaven so come and fluid my eyes

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
Yes all that's dead inside will be reborn
Though I'm worn
Yeah I'm worn

Now Playing: Worn
Artist: Tenth Avenue North
On-Air: Larry & Lauren
Forgiveness
Matthew West
Into The Light

pictures,pictures and more pictures

2013-01-07T16:30:00.004-08:00

I had a great time off with my monkeys over the holidays....I hate to admit it, but I was kind of bummed to get back into the regular routine of school, and work....anyway, I was able to spend time with family, my kiddos, my hubby, and a good friend who I know will move back to VT someday (sooner would be so much better!!) ;)
Anyway, I dont feel like writing alot of words, so I am going to just share some pictures...I know, it seems thats what I am doing lately, but I have a few things in my head that I am still working out, so until then, you get pictures. Enjoy! :)

this was the after a good scrubbing...

I still cant believe he sat there long enough for athena to do all this!

Athena loving on Bella....friends of ours adopted her when we moved back to VT and its always nice to get to visit

our future veterinarian

buddies

laughing at Josh

Brother in law and ?future sister in law?

me and my mommy

the three girls

another shot of the artwork

Happy New Year

2013-01-01T05:00:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure what to write this morning....do I want to write out the highs and lows of 2012? Should I write out my list of goals (which will more than likely not get met) for 2013? Maybe I should write about how messed up our world is.....no, definitely not that. There has already been too much focus on our "fiscal crisis", gun control, tragedies etc...
I do want to say that I am so thankful we were able to move in 2012.....mentally,and physically its been so much better!!

I know, I will write about our new years eve:

Josh was off yesterday so we had planned to play in the snow, and were secretly hoping it would warm up enough for the snow to be sticky....it wasnt, but thats ok we still had fun!
We started our day with lots of snuggles...the kids decided to bury Josh on the couch and they found pillows and blankets, buried him, and then ran away...it was funny. :)
After breakfast Athena and I spent some time coloring while the boys played with legos.....then everyone got dressed and had lunch.
After lunch we got ready to go outside and play. we went for a long walk with Josh pulling one or both kids on the sled...the way back home is downhill so the kids had a blast when josh would pull them and let go and they would slide down a few feet. Caleb and I got a ride for a few minutes, and then Josh got in the sled and we all pulled him :) played outside in the deep snow for a little longer before mommy and daddy had to go inside becuase we were cold (no snowpants=cold, wet legs) the kids stayed out long enough for me to make hot chocolate and popcorn which we all snacked on while we watched a movie. then there was some more coloring and lego building,

Here are some pictures from our outside time:

Caleb got thrown in the snow

So did Athena

tried to take a pic of me and my hubby.....

giving josh a ride

just chillin'....my little snow eater

pulling Daddy....caleb pulled so hard he fell over lol!

love this pic! Athena pulled him all by herself!

Mommy and thenas snow angels

Josh made one too!

"Daddys snow angel is the biggest one!"

Then the boys left to pick up our free pizza and the girls got the picnic blanket out on the living room floor, and then we went in the playroom and played barbies for a bit.
PIZZA!!! well, I had a salad and a few bites of pizza, and ice cream for dessert...and then instead of cleaning up Athena and I played barbies and the boys did a puzzle until it was time to start getting kiddos ready for bed.
After they went to bed, Josh and I had an exciting evening of watching dick clarks rockin NYE and I didnt even stay up to watch the ball drop....
But it was a really nice day. everyone was happy, no one fought, or had unkind words to each other, and before bed Athena told me that "today was one of the best days ever" and thats how I want to remember 2012. the memories we made on the last day of the year.

Today I have to do a few chores, but I am going to try to get in lots of play and memory making with my kiddos.

Happy New Year to all my friends and family.

post christmas lethargy

2012-12-27T16:38:00.001-08:00

I think it is safe to say we had a great Christmas. Not because of the things we got, or even the things we gave, but because we were able to spend it with family. My father in law, brother in law and his girlfriend were able to spend Christmas with us this year....it was so nice to see the kids playing with their uncle, and grandpa, and Alaina fit right in and colored with athena, helped harass the boys....

We have so much to be thankful for as we finish out this year: we still have each other, we have a new place, we both have jobs.....Its sad that it took the horrible tragedy in CT to wake me up and appreciate all that I do have.

Today it snowed. and snowed, and snowed and snowed.....we have at least a foot of snow out there, and its great! Im hoping tomorrow will be a little warmer so that the snow will be sticky and we can make snowmen in our yard.....poor caleb had trouble walking in the yard this afternoon, the snow was up to his waist!!

Today, if I didnt have kiddos, I would have spent the day on the couch reading, and sipping hot chocolate, thats just the kind of day it was. Instead we played outside, did some chores, put together some of our new puzzles, played outside, made hot chocolate, watched a movie, and read some books before bed. not a bad day.
Here are a few pictures of our day today in the snow...notice how caleb is falling, or laying on the ground in most of them....he is an odd little man :)

Surprise!

2012-12-23T17:30:00.002-08:00

Now I can finally say something.....for over 2 weeks I have been planning and scheming and athena has been keeping this secret......Joshs dad, brother , his girlfriend are here! they got in (super late) last night and will leave right after christmas.
Josh had no idea. I think this is first time ever that I have been able to surprise him with....anything! and it was awesome!!!!
We went to church today, relaxed, did a little shopping, made pizzas, played, chatted...its been fun. Tomorrow Dad Ralph will make his breakfast (eggs,bacon,sausage, toast...) for everyone...it looks like the kids will get to play in the snow with all of us, we are going to try a tour at the teddy bear factory since alaina has never been to vt and wants to see a vt teddy bear. Then lunch/dinner at my parents, and later my parents will come over to do cmas eve presents (jammies for the kids) and my dad reads them the night before christmas...then bedtime for santa to come....
so, since I have been planning, and cleaning and baking...Im kind of tired. I am going to make some tea, eat some GF crustless pumpkin pie, and head to bed early.

MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone!!!!

wordless wednesday

2012-12-19T15:39:00.002-08:00

I have a couple of blogger friends who do this, and I decided to do one this week.....

I had to explain this: athena wrote and illustrated the words to the song Oh be careful (little feet,hands etc...)

my wake up moment

2012-12-17T16:35:00.000-08:00

Lately I have been frustrated with my kids....frustrated that they fight, frustrated that they get up at the crack of dawn, frustrated that they seem to ignore me sometimes, just frustrated with seemingly everything.....
Then Fridays horrific tragedy happened. It was like a slap in the face for me that night watching the news....What if that happened here....what if the last thing I said to my children was said out of frustration? God forbid, what if something like that happened to my children? or my friends children? I have had a rough weekend struggling with so much sadness for those families, guilt that I have not been the mommy I want to be, and honestly just felt stuck in a dark hole of sadness....
I cried through most of church yesterday. My kiddos performed in church and as proud as I was, all I could think was if this had happened here no one would be singing right now....Our pastor was great and had a message that was helpful, but still I felt so sad....I was upset last night when athena was not listening to me when I asked her to do something, and had to walk away becuase all I could think was -if my beautiful daughter cant listen to me now, how can I know that if there is some emergency that she will listen then?- I know, kind of crazy/obsessive, but I think that part of my struggle with the shooting, is that in my mind I need to know my kids will follow instructions...instructions that literally mean life or death, and that scares me.
I ended up talking to athena a little bit about why I was sad. I told her with as few details as possible, and I told her that the person who did those horrible things was dead and could not hurt anyone else, and we talked about the chidlren who are in heaven, and she said that they got a great christmas present, they are in heaven.....How awesome is my daughter!
Anyway, all of the above to say that I still feel sad, I can not even try to fathom what these families are going through. How proud I am of those teachers , and how proud their families must be, yes sad and heartbroken, but they are heroes. They put themselves in the way and saved many childrens lives.

I want to watch the news, and the updates, but I just cant do it. It breaks my heart and hits too close to home...I have a 4 year old and a 6 year old....and now I need to go check on them and kiss them, becuase I still can.

Thanks for "listening"

sadness

2012-12-14T16:10:00.002-08:00

I am not even sure what to write.....I am so emotional about (another horrific) shooting that happened today. ....I gave my kids ginormous hugs when I picked them up tonight, and we snuggled watching polar express, but in the back of my mind all I could think was, this could have been such a different night for us....the what ifs are overwhelming me, and the first thing Josh said when he got home was "today made me seriously consider having the kids homeschooled"....I know that in the grand scheme of things we only can control so much that happens, but dear Lord, I can not even begin to fathom what these people are going through....parents who sent their children...kindergardeners-4th grade this morning, and will never see them again on this earth, children who survived, but will now have to live with the visions of what they witnessed, children who lost parents....a friend of mines sister in law teaches at that school, and as of late this afternoon, neither her nor her daughter (who is a student there) have been located......I believe in God, and I know that he has a plan, and we might not always understand it, but tonight its very hard to understand the why.
I have some questions...not religous, just questions and frustrations....these are not meant to cause debate or anything, just questions that I have had over the years....
Why is it seemingly so easy for someone to obtain a weapon? Can we make laws, or rules or something that people need to pass some sort of mental health exam prior to obtaining a gun....
How can people still get into school so easily? After the various school shootings I thought most schools had more security....
And more of a statement, but I pray these people that are suffering tonight, whether physically or mentally, I pray that the community has counselling, and help set up for them.....

I just put my babies to bed. safe and sound in our home....yes they were grumpy and tired, but they are alive. I can hug them tomorrow morning, and play with them, they are here with me....there are parents tonight looking at empty beds, in a room that will be empty, and my heart breaks for them.....Tears are running down my face as I think about the pain that they are going through, and while I can not say I know how they feel, I can only imagine, and I selfishly pray that these monsters that caused this are punished one way or another....whether in this life or the next.