Tiffany's Thoughts

I think this is the longest I've gone....

2015-06-11T23:25:00.002-06:00

I can't believe it's been almost a year since I've posted. Crazy. Let's see..... I'm still going to school and working at the boys' school. This school year seemed to fly by. I wasn't with a specific teacher this year. I liked only teaching groups, but it was a little lonely to not be with a teacher and part of the grade level team. So for the 2015-16 year I will be back in a classroom! I'm excited to learn from a teacher that I've never worked with and able to interact with the kiddos at recess and lunch again. I discovered one of the coolest things ever, it's called Adult Fitness class at a tumbling gym! I LOVE it! It has brought out my inner dancer/cheerleader and I hope to be able to do a back handspring by my next birthday.... Here's an update on the rest of the fam...

Andy - Still working at the same job, which is good. We are both looking forward to hiking the Narrows in Zion's National Park later this year with most of his siblings. His parents are in their second month of serving their second mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. They have a large lawn that needs mowing in their absence, Andy volunteered William. Which is also great.......

William - He learned how to play the clarinet this year, and the music teacher at our school made them do online theory, from that he taught himself how to play the piano! I hope he continues with music. I love that he loves it! He finished 6th grade on the high honor roll, and taller than his mama!! He has a few really good friends, including a girl that he's been friends with since 4th grade. I asked him if he wanted to get her a different Valentine than the ones that came in the box that he got for everyone, he responded with, "why?" I'll just let that stay that way for as long as possible. He's still so sweet and tender-hearted. I really don't think I could "mother" without his help. He will go to scout camp, for a whole week, in a month. I told him he couldn't go because I don't know how to entertain his brothers without him here to help keep them interested or distracting them. Again, time is flying by, I feel like I blinked and my little boy suddenly disappeared. He will be in 7th grade luckily our school has junior high in the same building so it won't be *too* bad to have a kid in junior high because he'll just be upstairs. He doesn't complain to loudly about chores and mowing his grandparents lawn. He loves reading and playing the xbox and "hanging out" with friends, because you can't ask if friends can "play" anymore.... (insert sigh and eye-roll here)

Matthew - Matty turned 9 in April and had a friend birthday party at an indoor pool. It was a lot of fun. He finished 2nd grade also on the high honor roll, with really shaggy hair, and glasses! He also decided to try baseball this year. He has a tournament next week and then it will be done. He's made a LOT of progress and has had a great coach that has worked with him a lot to help him get hits. He wanted to be on the same team as his friend so we have to travel a bit to practices and games, but it has been GREAT for him! He loves reading, jumping on the trampoline, playing the xbox, and flipping his hair like Justin Bieber when he talks to people. I've tried to talk him into cutting it, he says he wants to have a ponytail and a man-bun. (Insert another sigh and eye-roll here) But they're only little once and this is the first thing he's stuck to his guns and not caved so that's got to count for something, right?

AJ - Oh AJ, he is my wild child through and through. He will be 5 soon and that means Kindergarten!! I'm excited to have him with me at school, but on the flip side it doesn't seem possible that he's going into Kindy!! He is silly and funny and makes life FUN! He tells some really funny stories and has been known to make up stories about his family. He told our neighbors once that his friend couldn't come over because I had let my boobies out and his friend couldn't see that, (no I do NOT run around topless, if you were wondering). He also told them that I was a dragon and then said that William had killed a dragon. He loves to go shirtless and likes to wear the cowboy boots and hat that he got from his babysitter's son with EVERYTHING. He loves to shoot people with water and nerf guns but usually gets upset when the tables turn. Our dentist talks about sugar bugs on your teeth and lately he asks "does this have sugar bugs in it" about anything that he's about to eat. Fruit has good sugar bugs in case you didn't know. If he doesn't want to eat something he says it will make him thirsty. He's a mama's boy. There are days that he is attached to my hip. I try to remember there will be a time that he won't want anything to do with me. Loves anything electronic, loves to color and make sound effects as he's coloring, he loves to play with his cousin Tate aka Take, who is the same grade as Matthew. Wants to go somewhere everyday and hates when I tell him we are just staying home.

I am blessed and also feel like life is a little crazy most days and most of the time I'm trying to just make it through the day. Some days are better than others.

Mother's Day, this was the week that Will suddenly shot up!

We did a lemonade/popcorn/cookie stand. We will do it again.

AJ and his AMAZING babysitter Annie! She's watched him for two years and he absolutely LOVES her, can't say that I blame him!

He had shaggy hair too, but he let me get it cut!

True AJ style.

Matthew after playing catcher.

This just made me laugh! Matty's Doppleganger! Cobra Kai forever! Matthew is too nice to be as mean as Johnny.

A few more things

2014-07-28T08:30:00.003-06:00

THIS post is what prompted my first post today. And this song made my day!!

Mom let's go swimming

2014-07-28T08:10:00.001-06:00

This simple request has sent me over the self confidence edge far too many times to count. However, this summer I've tried my hardest to get out of my own head and just ENJOY our time. After all they are only little once. So here we are doing some fun things this summer.

On our hike up to Lake Mary, before Matty fell....

AJ showing me his "burned finners" (pruny hands). I had to throw this one in, because he's hilarious.

William and I at Slide the City.

Going through pictures I realize I'm not in enough pictures. I want my boys to remember that they're mom did things with them, not that I refused because of who could possibly see me in all my glory in a bathing suit.

When I see other moms with their kids I notice the joy on their faces, not their size. So why do I think I'm any different? Maybe because most of my childhood I remember hearing my mom and grandma saying "make sure you can't see me in the picture" so my challenge to myself and any other mom that feels less than beautiful is to GET IN THE PICTURE!! Get in the water and have a splash war with your kids, play, run and swing with them. My boys LOVE to look at pictures of their parents. How sad will they be if I'm not in any?? They don't see my flabby arms or dimply legs. They just see their mom who they think is the most beautiful person in their world. Why wouldn't I want to savor every minute that they think that? All too soon they will discover girls, and huge sigh, will be marrying one of those said girls. I will still be their beautiful mom but another beautiful woman will have their hearts. Enjoy the journey friends.

Running, birds, and Matty

2014-07-11T08:37:00.000-06:00

Yesterday my ego took a HUGE hit. I'm trying to brush it off but man alive why are teenagers so rude and disrespectful? I wish I could remember if I was ever that way. I want to say there is no way I would have ever called a lady out running a lard-o. But who knows, maybe I did? Yep, that's what happened last night. I needed to get a run in, I left my house at 10:30ish and set out around our neighborhood, because it was dark I wore a headlamp, I hate wearing anything that calls attention to me so I was already feeling uncomfortable, but felt great and was pacing pretty well. I got up on the frontage road and gave it all I had when I got to the end of my kick I saw a group of boys and didn't think much of it, I didn't hear everything they said to me because I had my headphones in, but the phrase, "what a lard-o" made it to my ears. SO I turned up my music and finished strong. It wasn't until I got home and jumped in the shower and the water hit all my chaffing that I just cried. I also cried because I had my tracker set to road cycling and not running and it kept pausing for some reason so I have no idea how far I actually went, I have a pretty good idea, but no idea what my splits were for said run....

Generally other runners and adults are very supportive of runners. No I'm not the fastest person out there, but I get it done, but most importantly I feel awesome after I get a run done. I know I have a LONG way to go with my weight, it's been a huge struggle the last 4ish years, but I realized I've been too focused on the end result which overwhelms me. 75 pounds is a small human, bigger than my 8 year old, and that seems to be all that my brain can focus on, what I have to do to get to the end of my journey, not what I am doing....

On a lighter note, I feel like the birds around my house and neighborhood are plotting to gouge my eyes out and display them as a reminder to the rest of the human race of what they are capable of. We've had a birds nest in the corner of our rain gutter and front door for the past several years and we always plan to take it down after the babies leave the nest, this year on the 4th of July we came home to the empty nest hanging off the edge, so the next day I took it down and put two big rocks on the gutter so they can't build another nest. The mom and dad this summer were really aggressive and would flap their wings right in your face every time you came out the door or looked like you were going to go in the door. My neighbors felt the same way whenever they'd come to borrow a cup of whatever or just to talk. However the birds didn't bother Andy for some reason? Maybe he's the one helping them know whose eyes need gauging, just kidding. Even though my neighbor across the street feared for her life every time she came to my house this didn't stop her from putting a few bird houses in her trees. Yesterday I was doing yard work in our back yard and side yard, our one really great tree is on that side of our yard. I noticed HUGE birds hanging out in the branches, I continued my work and when I came back up by the tree 1358 million birds flew out of the tree and were swooping all around me! All of them were moving together and flying between my tree and my neighbor's.... I felt like Tippi Hedren and wondered if Alfred Hitchcock was filming me. Seriously, what the heck???

Wednesday we went on a beautiful hike up Big Cottonwood Canyon, it was a lot of fun and everything was going great until it was time to hike back down from Lake Mary. Matty and I got caught behind a big youth group and I was panicking a little that my sister-in-law had to deal with AJ and her youngest on her own so I was encouraging Matthew to run whenever we were on level, less-rocky ground, I would hold his hand when we ran, I let go to adjust the backpack and he tripped. He skinned his knees really bad and I felt like a horrible mom. We finally caught up with Audrey, AJ and Tate; she came prepared with band-aids and fixed Matty up as well as she could and we started again. He was whining and holding my hand, I let go, again to adjust and he face planted!! I was shocked that it happened again, I couldn't say anything for fear of losing it laughing or hysterically crying for him, neither option would have helped him. Matthew can be the easiest child 99.9% of the time, but if he gets hurt or doesn't feel good, all bets are off. So he got a piggy-back ride the rest of the way down. AJ decided he needed one too so awesome Aunt Audrey gave him one.

That's been my week thus far. Up for today: more yard work, then Matthew, AJ, Cho and I are heading to grandma's to have a sleep over so I can help with my grandpa's 80th birthday plans and they can watch the boys while I go for a long run on Saturday. Fingers crossed it all goes smoothly. And there won't be any haters out and about.

I can't believe he's 4!!

2014-07-06T20:00:00.001-06:00

AJ turned 4 today!! He's a little stinker but I love him to the moon and back!!! He still refuses to potty train, and even said he didn't want to have his birthday because I told him that he was a big boy now, and in his brain being a big boy equals having to go potty. He says some of the funniest things ever! I'm so happy that we have him, even though I cried for literally MONTHS when we found out we were having our third boy. He completes our family and is such a mommas boy! I hope that never changes. He loves animals, especially dogs and horses. I hope to get him on a horse this summer. He loves to go to grandmas house and will cheer when I tell him we are going to either ones house. 4 things I love about Andrew James:
1. His infectious laugh
2. He loves to give me hugs and kisses and loves to sit with me. Everywhere we go.
3. He can play with little toys or even non-toys for HOURS by himself. I love to listen to him play by himself.
4. He can be so stubborn, more than both his brothers combined, but he's is so incredibly sweet.

Some selfies I found on my phone of him.

He loves babies!!

Pre-school

Paint my beets! Beets=feet

He got new garden gloves and was helping pull weeds

"yook, momma I'm bigger!"

At the zoo for his last pre-school fieldtrip

Playing at the lake!

Cousin Connor was so sweet to play with AJ for hours!

Feeding the goats, he would get close to the goats with the food, then dump it on the ground and laugh about it.

Hailey and AJ!

At the zoo!

He wanted to help by adding sprinkles to the cupcakes.

Happy Birthday AJ!!

I went through old pictures and found the car seat pictures, click HERE to see them.

My oldest is amazing!

2014-06-25T20:55:00.001-06:00

William turned 11 on the 24th!!! He's getting taller and taller, and smarter and smarter! He got on the high honor roll and got the highest score possible on his writing assesment at the end of the year, he just makes me SO happy!! He is such an amazingly sweet kid!! I'm so proud to be his mama!!! Eleven things I LOVE about William....

1. He looks exactly like his dad.

2. His heart is on his sleeve.

3. He helps his brothers without too much complaining.

4. He loves to watch Harry Potter with me.

5. He likes to help and teach those around him.

6. Cuddle time still happens!!

7. The way he talks about things he loves. Namely Minecraft and experiences he had at scout camp.

8. Willing to play with almost any kids whenever we go places.

9. Instead of freaking out about changing schools in 4th grade he stepped up to the plate and ROCKED it!!!!

10. The imaginative play that he seems to of passed on to his brothers.

11. He loves so deeply and sweetly.

Hello Summer!

2014-06-22T11:40:00.001-06:00

This year we don't have any solid set in stone plans. Except for races I'm signed up for, scout camps and my grandpas 80th birthday celebration.

I'm trying to be structured and plan things out as we all do better around here if we have those things. Mondays are make it Monday so we try to make something. Tuesday is travel day so we go somewhere (usually grandmas to swim), Wednesday is water day, Thursday is thinking Thursday and Friday is friend day. It's been fun to try to think of things that fit with those.

William turns ELEVEN on Tuesday. So I'll be posting again about him, he is such a GOOD kid!! He asked for a bow and a quiver of arrows. We got him a bow and some arrows. This week I'm going to be hitting Pinterest and DIY you tube videos to see if I can find directions on how to make your own quiver and William and I will make it so it's more custom to his personality. We're also going to print out some targets.

William still hasn't found his niche. None of my boys have. We haven't tried anything with AJ but I'm hopeful he'll be our more athletic one.

I'm tutoring 3 kids this summer and while it's going well I don't make time to work with my children on school stuff. I will try to get better with that!!!

One of the girls that I'm tutoring was in my class 2 years ago and we built a really good relationship and at our first session she asked me how my summer was going and then asked why I had dyed my hair grey only on the sides. So I went blond. Still getting used to it and still undecided if I like it.

At the Color Me Rad 5k yesterday. It was so fun!

At the demolition derby AJ just wanted to lay on the bleachers. It was still lots of fun!

Swimming at grandmas!

At the Railroad Museum!

Kids bowl free program is fun to do with friends so that the moms can chat!!

Looking forward to more adventures this summer!!

8 years ago.....

2014-04-22T18:50:00.001-06:00

8 years ago I became a mama for the 2nd time around. Matthew Allen came into the world at 10:12 Sunday morning, weighing in at 5 lbs 9 oz, and 18 inches long. He is named after my brother-in-law Matthew, and my dad's middle name was Allen. Two great and amazing men. It was a hard pregnancy, I had high blood pressure, and diabetes. I was put on bed-rest 7.5 weeks before Matty was born. William was almost three at the time, if it hadn't been for my family, mostly my sister-in-law Audrey, and my church family we wouldn't have made it through those trying weeks of bed-rest!!He was 4 weeks early, because my blood pressure was still on the rise. I was a nervous wreck, I just KNEW something was wrong with him and as they were prepping me for the c-section my heart rate was hanging out between 180-195, the nurses and my doctor kept telling me I needed to calm down or I would have a heart attack, but I had to hear him cry before I could calm down. It felt like they were moving me all over the table to get him out, and my doctor had to use surgical scissors to cut through the scar tissue from my c-section with Will, I will never forget that sound! I don't think Andy will either. Once they got him out Andy brought him to me all bundled up and he was beautiful, I kissed him on the head and Andy took him to be checked. About two or so hours later the pediatrician came in to discuss our options, they had put a breathing tent on him, but it wasn't helping as, he had to be transported to a hospital that had a NICU, as the one that we were in didn't have one.
The ambulance came and they prepped Matthew for transport, I still had not held him or gotten a good look at him. He was brought into my room so I could see him, I had just had surgery, I could not sit up, and so I didn't even get to sit up well enough to really see him. William was sitting on my bed and when they brought Matty in he looked at him and said he wanted to hold him. Everyone in my room was crying and this just brought on more tears, they rolled him out in the isolette, William started to cry and said "Don't take our baby!" I had to explain to him that brother was sick, and they had to take him to another hospital where they would take care of him. Andy followed the ambulance to LDS Hospital and I had to stay, because of the c-section.

Our brother-in-law met Andy at LDS and they gave Matthew a blessing, I'm so thankful that we have so many family members around to help and support us!! Andy stayed with Matthew and my grandma came and spent the night with me. Because of the diabetes I couldn't eat carbs, I recall ordering a pizza and I'm 99% sure my grandma had one slice and I polished off the rest. When you have a c-section you aren't supposed to leave for 2-3 days, Monday my doctor came and gave me a pass to go see Matty. He was on a respirator and had tubes and wires coming out of him. It was shocking. I just sat and held his toe and cried. I was released from the hospital early Tuesday morning. When Matthew was born he had really fine copper red hair. No one on either side of the family has red hair. His middle name is Allen after my deceased father Brent Allen, who had red hair (he adopted me when I was 13). Every time I was with Matthew in the NICU I felt my dads presence, and I knew that he would be okay because his grandpa was there with him.

I finally got to hold him when he was a week old. Lots of emotions, ups and downs, and 3 weeks later we brought Matthew home. One thing about babies that spend time in the NICU is that they come home on a schedule, he was sleeping 6 hours at night when he was about 8 weeks, it was bliss. Once home he grew quickly. And I couldn't imagine my life without my Matty!! He is SO sweet and still cuddles with me every now and then. Here are 8 things I adore about Matthew:

1. His contagious laugh
2. His silky blond hair that never stays put, he always has hair sticking up somewhere, no matter what I do!!
3. The fact that he will jump out of pants and into "comfy shorts", the second we walk in the door from anywhere.
4. His ginormous heart and love that he has for everyone.
5. He has the BEST imagination and can keep himself busy with a box of legos or a light saber for hours.
6. How much he idolizes his big brother, he can't wait to be big like Will!!
7. How patient he can be with his little brother.
8. Every recess he comes and finds me and gives me a hug and asks me, "what are we doing today?'

I am SO PROUD to be his mom, he is such a good kid and has come so far in school. I can't believe what a little smarty pants he is!
I love you Matty!! I wish I could put you in a bubble and keep you just the way you are forever!

Time.

2014-04-06T11:22:00.002-06:00

School is doing a number on me. Both me being a student and me being an instructor at the boys school. I now have to refer to EA as "work" and school as "my school". School is much more personal and important to me this time around. It's more important this time because if I don't pass a class we will have to pay for it, but it's also more important because of the time I'm spending both in going to classes and spending on the computer doing homework. It's the time that is killing me, physically and mentally, but the time that I waste on really stupid things (including perusing blogs that I just HAVE to read) seem so selfish and idiotic. What am I doing and why am I doing it? I need to ask myself, is this necessary and helpful before I log into anything or do anything. And keep those questions at the fore front at all times.

When I have the time, usually first thing in the morning and right before I go to sleep I find my mind wandering to the time before I went to school, and even more often to the time when I wasn't working, what did I do with all that time? Was my house any cleaner? Maybe. Did I cook more meals? Yes. I definitely went grocery shopping more often then once every 3 months. Were we happier as a family? I have no idea.

When I'm at work teaching those adorable kids, I feel so fulfilled and like I'm right where I need to be.
But there are times that my heart literally aches to be with AJ, and it's those times that I wonder if we're doing the right thing.

I'm not sure of any decisions right now. One thing I am sure of is that running makes me happy. The last 8ish years I've put all these conditions on running, I've decided to let them all go and just do it. I'm going to train for the St. George marathon even though it is so time consuming, it's something that I want to do, it's something I want my boys to see their mom do.

For now I'll just keep going and just keep doing what I'm doing, and keep on praying that the path that I'm supposed to take will be shown.

School and weight

2014-01-22T20:30:00.000-07:00

I started school at Utah State University at the Tooele extension on the 6th. I'm only taking two classes, English and Human Development. I think it's better to get things done sooner than later, but honestly 13 or so years ago when I was going to USU in Logan I wasn't focused and all I wanted to do was have fun and take classes that sounded interesting, the end goal wasn't a degree, what was it? Who knows? Now I know what I want to do and why I want to do it. My focus is not to see if I meet any cute guys or to find my next bestie. I will be honest and say that there is ONE person that I never wanted to have to associate with and that person just happens to be in my Human Development class, there are only 8 people in the class, open discussion and interaction is encouraged, this woman and I will have to interact. We'll just have to put on our big girl panties and pretend that nothing happened. Other than that I think it's going to be great and hopefully I don't drown with all the other things I have heaped on my plate at the moment.

I'm not happy with how I look. I've set some mighty big goals for the coming year. I really couldn't care less what the scale says, BUT I care about how my clothes fit. And I'm sick and tired of constantly pulling on my shirts to make sure they are covering my belly or that I'm not showing any crack when I bend over. I'm also tired of not enjoying every moment with my boys. This summer we went to an indoor family fun center and I couldn't fit in the seat of a ride with my kids, humiliation at its finest. I also have someone near and dear to me that will not be in pictures, and isn't able to do fun things with her kids because of her weight. I don't want to do that to myself or to my kids.... Not to mention all the health risks I have: High Cholesterol, pre-diabetic, sleep apnea, yada, yada, yada. Anyways 2014 is going to be MY year! On my way to a degree in teaching and being able to run 3 miles without stopping so that I can get back on track to training for and running a marathon.

Family Pics 2013

2014-01-22T19:38:00.001-07:00

For those of you that aren't friends with me on Facebook here are our family pictures. I love them. We went to a place called Camera Shy. It was a lot of fun and I think they turned out great.

In the last two months......

2013-12-01T08:34:00.002-07:00

Not a lot has happened in our corner of the world. Except....

I turned 34.

I enrolled at USU extension for January 2014. I've decided to go into teaching, while becoming a nurse has been a long term goal, after I started teaching I felt like it's a better path for me to follow. I LOVE it.

I've lost 15 pounds by cutting flour, sugar and dairy from my diet. And my migraines disappeared, then on the 21st I was supposed to gradually re-introduce those things to my diet, well I indulged in ALL of them, so I'm giving it another go, because my headaches are back.

Andy now has a 9-5 job, well more like 7:30-4:30 job, still at the same place, just in a different department. We are very happy about that.

I'm cutting back my hours at work because now that AJ has to go to daycare 5 days a week, opposed to 10 days a month, he's turned into a little monster. Also it'll be better when I start school.

Speaking of monsters, Halloween was fun, William was Harry Potter, Matthew was Bumblebee, and AJ was Superman. I was the wicked witch of the West at school, it was fun. I wore green makeup and everything, by the end of the day it was driving me crazy though!!!

I'll try and post pics of Halloween. For some reason I've been having issues with that.

Looking forward to Christmas, hoping it won't be stressful. Not a lick of shopping done, it was nice to just stay home on Black Friday. Hopefully it'll all come together.

They have healing powers and funny stuff about nuts

2013-10-01T18:53:00.000-06:00

Today's HILARIOUS first grade antics.

*Joe came up to me at recess holding his head, "Mrs. E a guy accidentally kicked me in the head, I need to go to the office."
"Well Joe you aren't bleeding and I don't see any bumps, I think you'll be okay."
"But I need to go to the office real bad!"
"Again, why do you need to go to the office? They won't be able to do anything for you, we can't send you to get ice unless there is an obvious bump."
"I don't know, I need to go there and get healed or something."

"*Jack bit me on my arm!"
"Why did he bite you on your arm *Sunny?"
"I don't know, he told me not to kick him, but I wasn't kicking him, I was throwing grass at him."
Then I pulled Jack aside and asked him what happened. He said, "Sunny was throwing grass at my best friend, and I wanted to stop her so I bit her arm."
I had to give both of them props for being honest.

Matthew tells me some funny things too. Today at lunch he came up to me and said, "a guy is trying to kick *Mike in the nuts." I guess I looked a little stunned because then he said, "do you know where your nuts are mom?" Then he pointed to his butt and said, "your nuts are right here!" Another instructor was standing by me and we both laughed hysterically and said, "ummmm no!" After school he told me that *Ben and *Mike were punching each other in the nuts. I said, "what are your nuts Matthew?" He said, "They're your butt cheeks, duh!!" William was doing his homework at the table and laughed so hard he snorted. Now I'm not sure if Ben and Mike were punching each other in the butt or the nuts, because somehow nuts got dragged into the conversation by someone.

I love that both Joe and Matthew referred to other kids as "a guy".

I really don't want to have to explain to my kids that they cannot punch, kick or touch anyone's nuts, regardless of what they think nuts are, but it sounds like I might have to do just that tomorrow, sigh.

1st graders are sticky....

2013-09-20T19:21:00.000-06:00

This year I am in 1st grade. I LOVE it, but the biggest difference between 1st graders and 2nd graders is that they seem to be a bit more sticky. And getting them into a solid routine seems like an impossible task. We are 4 weeks in and I still get asked what they are supposed to be doing when they get into the classroom. EVERYDAY is the same, come in, hang up your backpack, get your learning plan out, make your lunch choice, and then start on your morning seat work. I still get glossy-eyed stares from some of them....
I find their honesty a bit shocking at times. Here are a few of the not so nice things I've been told:
"Your butt hits my head because it's big."
"That hairstyle makes you look crazy, like in a good crazy way." - I chopped my hair off and wear it in it's naturally curly state more, because straightening it is SO HARD now that it's short.
I lost my name tag so I had my badge hanging with my whistle, and a little sweetie said, "that picture makes you look really old."

Some of the super nice things that have been said:
"I really think that lipstick looks pretty on you, I can't wait to wear lipstick!"
"Did you have a spa day? Because you look beautiful."
I wore my hair straight 2 days ago and a little guy said, "Oh Mrs. E you look so beautiful today!" then today it didn't stay straight after my sweaty run and shower that I had and tried to avoid getting my hair wet, so it was in a pony tail and the same boy said, "you look even more beautiful today than you did yesterday."
I have one of my friend's son in my reading group and she told me after school one day that her little boy said, "she looked so pretty that I couldn't breathe, but I was too scared to say anything."
I remember asking my 1st grade teacher to come to dinner almost every week. I've been asked twice so far. My teacher has been asked more often. ;)

So I guess more nice things then not.
I have two kids in my homeroom that need mommy hugs at least once a day, so there are days that I feel like I never leave "mom mode". But. Oh my goodness they pull my heartstrings, today my shirt shoulder had a giant tear pool and boogers first thing because a little girl didn't have time to finish her math homework. There is another little girl that I just wish I could get my hands on her hair, and actually do it for her, and a boy that I can just feel needs some love and attention, but I have to restrain myself to giving him a gummy bear if I catch him behaving or giving him a high five or a thumbs up whenever I catch his eye. Not to even mention Paytyn, my heart just aches for him and his family. Praying for a cure, and that he can win his battle. Click on his name, read his story and have a box of tissues ready. He's in our class and has a monkey in his chair, there are times that his spirit is so strongly felt that both my teacher and I go over to his desk to help him....
Matthew is in 1st grade so I get to see him all the time, it's nice, I wish I could see William more, but I love the moments he sees me in the hall and touches my shoulder or other kids in his class spot me and tell him I'm there, and he smiles his shy smile.
Not sure if anyone still reads my poor lil neglected blog anymore, but I wanted to write about my adorable 1st graders!!!

Pics

2013-06-30T18:12:00.001-06:00

Matthew and AJ being "spider-man" at the park.

My sunflowers that just showed up in my yard.

Williams birthday. His friend to his right. Matthews friend on the left

We went to a scales and tails thing at the library on Williams birthday. This guy was AWESOME!!!

William and I being silly.

Fun at the zoo!! The polar bear and orange monkeys are made from LEGOS!!

Tracy Aviary. It was fun.

William is 10 today!!

2013-06-24T12:57:00.001-06:00

My oldest is now in the double digits, it's CRAZY to me! He is honestly the BEST big brother, he helps me as much as he can with his brothers and he now he even mows the lawn. Lucky for dad, ha ha! He is smart and curious and likes to explain things to me and anyone that will listen. He's a little on the "nerdy" side but that's A-OKAY with me. He LOVES to play Minecraft and the xbox, and that is our biggest fight, how much time he likes to spend on the computer and playing video games. Here are 10 reasons why I LOVE Will!

He is patient with his brothers.
He always wears his helmet, I don't have to remind him anymore.
He likes to watch Harry Potter movies with me.
He thinks everything I cook is the "best thing ever!"
He will dance like a crazy person with me.
He is kind to his friends.
He likes to include everyone.
He thinks science is awesome.
He is willing to help out.
He loves spending time with his family, for now anyways....

Oh hi

2013-06-21T20:05:00.000-06:00

School ended on May 24th for William and I and was over 2 weeks before that for Matthew! We haven't done much.

We've had a few play dates and gone swimming a few times. We have a Pass of all Passes which gets us into a water park and a few other places. We also have a zoo pass, which we used today because I can't go swimming for 5 days, my feet are taped to see if orthotics will help my Plantar Faciitis. Which is the reason I'm blogging right now and not running Ragnar. This is the 2nd year in a row that an injury has kept me from Ragnar, and actually I think last year is was Plantar Faciitis..... So fingers crossed...

AJ is HILARIOUS and has been TONS of fun lately, both actual fun and "fun" like if I have to deal with you for one more hour one of us may not survive, "fun". He refuses to potty train, which with one bathroom and 5 people using it, I'm not in a hurry, although being done with diapers would be FABULOUS!! And a HUGE money saver.

I am now aroma touch technique certified and I'm in LOVE with doTERRA!! They have FOREVER changed me!

More to come.....

Happy Mothers Day

2013-05-12T21:21:00.001-06:00

He came home with a TV for our room. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited and happy but he could've also gotten my favorite kind of chocolate too. He did get the yummy strawberry shortcake!! He also made German pancakes for breakfast AND steak for dinner!!! I'm one LUCKY gal!!!!

In other news for the 2nd year in a row my mother is in jail on Mother's Day. This year it was for jay-walking and when the cop checked her record there was a warrant for her arrest. I hope she gets out soon. And I hope that's all there is to the story. I'll never understand her decisions or how she even gets put into these situations. I feel sadness for what she COULD be.

My how time gets away from me....

2013-04-29T22:30:00.002-06:00

I can't believe it's the end of the year and that we are testing and getting ready for the end of the year and prepping for next year! I'm praying and crossing my fingers and toes that I will asked back next year, we won't know until the last week of school.
I realized how much I have poured myself into these kids, holy moly, I get SO NERVOUS for my kids whenever they are testing. Especially if it's in my math and reading groups, we aren't allowed to help them, AT ALL, and it goes against what I've been doing all year, but I just have to have faith that I have done the best that I can and they remember everything they have learned.
AJ will start pre-school this fall, it seems impossible that my baby is going to be 3!! I'm excited for him to go to the same pre-school that Matthew went to! She loved Matty and I know it'll be the same with AJ. Because nobody can resist that cute kid!
I think I'm one of the crazy people that doesn't really want the school year to be over, I love it and I love the structure, and frankly I don't know how I'll be able to entertain these kids ALL summer.... We don't have any vacations planned or anything in the works... We'll see what happens.

My Matthew

2013-04-23T23:19:00.001-06:00

Matthew turned 7 years old today. I can't believe how fast time flies. That day was one of the scariest days of our life....... Here's the story, again, humor me if you've heard it or lived through it with us.

I was placed on bedrest about 7 weeks before Matthew was born, in was a LONG 7 weeks, filled with fear, worry and a lot of insulin shots. We couldn't have done it without the help of my sweet sister-in-law who took care of William or the help of other family and neighbors/ward members that came by to check on me and cleaned my house every now and then..... I had high blood pressure and gestational diabetes.

Mom's just know sometimes, I had the shots to help his lungs, and I had a horrible allergic reaction to it, and when that happened I just knew. I knew he needed to be delivered and that it needed to happen NOW, I knew that something was going to be wrong with him, I knew that it was going to be rough. So when I showed up for my 36 week appointment (on a Wednesday) and my doctor told me we were going to deliver him asap, I wasn't surprised, I was anxious that because it wasn't life threatening I was scheduled to have him on Monday, then on Saturday we got a call telling us to come in the morning. I was SO worried, and when we showed up at the hospital the nurse kept telling me that I needed to calm down or I was going to have a heart attack or that they were going to knock me out for the surgery. I can't remember but I swear at one point my blood pressure was 170/100. Anyway, it was hanging out really high. I kept saying that I just needed to hear him cry and I would be okay. It was the roughest c-section out of the 3, I felt like there was a lot of moving back and forth, and they had to cut through a lot of scar tissue, and that they seemed to be taking their sweet time. Finally, he was out, and he cried, but I remember thinking it wasn't a very loud or as strong as William's was. Andy brought him to me, I kissed him on the head and the pediatrician asked Andy to follow her. And dread sunk in.
I told Andy not to let him out of his sight. A few hours went by and finally the decision was made that he needed to be transported to a different hospital because he wasn't breathing as well as he should be, again I told Andy to be with our son, they got Matthew ready for transport, I still had not held him at this point and had only seen him for all of 5 seconds, they brought him in the isolette so I could see him, and I couldn't sit up to really get a good look at him, then they wheeled him out of the room and William cried out, "please don't take our baby away!" and everyone's heart broke and the tears started falling. My doctor let me go see him the next day, but he was on a respirator, so all I could do was hold his toe, and cry and pray. My best friend had just had her baby 3 weeks earlier so she brought Abbi to the hospital so I could at least hold a baby while I couldn't hold my own.
He had golden red hair, my dad had red hair (not my biological dad) and my sister said it was dad's way of saying he was with us, I know he was. I was released the next morning and spent the next 3 weeks between home and the hospital, I didn't get to hold him until he was a week old. I felt so helpless and scared, and they kept telling us that he should've done better than he was doing, but it was like he needed to decide to do it on his own, which is exactly how he is now. You can't force him to do ANYTHING or he breaks down and cries!
He may always be a little bit delayed, but that's okay, he's Matthew and he's beautiful and wonderful, and his laugh and smile are the BEST things I've ever heard or seen, they are contagious! You can't help but feel happy when he's around. He's taught me patience and loving kindness. I hope he's always a mama's boy!!

That's me trying to touch him before they took him in the ambulance.

I miss those chubby cheeks!!!

This picture makes him look chubby, he wasn't at this point

Pre-school graduation with Miss Tara!!!

My Man

2013-03-11T07:21:00.000-06:00

Is amazing. Yes things have been a bit rough the last couple of months, but we're working on it, because we want to.

I went to Idaho this weekend, and my eyes were opened and my heart saddened by what some loved ones go through to stay married and survive. I couldn't wait to get home to my loving, kind husband. It was nice to see some family that I haven't seen since AJ was a baby. And why we went to Idaho in the first place really is breaking my heart, my cousin needs a liver transplant. It was also fun to spend time with my more like a sister, cousin, Heather.

AJ instantly took to grandpa and loved looking at all the stuff in his house. Being there brought back memories of watching my beautiful older cousin brush her hair and do her makeup in her room and hoping that someday I would be as beautiful as her, and get the glamour of going on dates with cute boys. I also remember getting folded up into a couch bed at their house, when I said that my aunt said, "yep, that was life with an older brother who liked to torture his little sister and anyone else that was around." So even though that side of the family is tied to a lot of really bad memories with my dad, there are some good ones, and they are good people, and still family.

On another note, I hate daylight savings.

Things and stuff.....

2013-03-02T19:32:00.001-07:00

I ran outside today for the first time in a VERY LONG TIME, I don't remember the last time that I did, but I'm pretty sure the last time I did I didn't chaff as bad as I did this time. It felt great to be outside and not on a treadmill!!! I love where I live and knowing that I can drop in on people who will let me use their bathroom or give me a drink.

I think we need to try either paleo diet or go gluten free for Andy's health. And he also needs a 9-5 Mon-Fri job to help his health. The job, I have no control over, but what he eats, I do. If I cook it, he will eat it, 99.999% of the time. But TIME, gah I hate that word. It just gets away from me. And I'm such a huge procrastinator!!! I make myself so mad 99.999% of the time. And let's face it, I NEED to lose weight, it's not a vanity thing anymore. I'm certain I will face health problems if I don't do it. Which in my mind is just selfish, why wouldn't I do EVERYTHING in my power to stay with my beautiful boys and a husband who loves me?? That's just CRAZY!!! I know it's not an easy feat for me or for millions of others that are battling the bulge!

My cousins have been on my mind a lot lately. One got engaged, and I'm SO excited for her, another one broke up with her boyfriend who she was practically engaged to (I just want to see her married, with babies and settled already), and another cousin is in the hospital getting a blood transfusion, she is a year younger than me, has 3 children, and is fighting for her life, I'm just so sad about it. The last one I haven't seen in at least 2 years, and I felt impressed about 6 months ago to send her some oils to help with her disease, but I just sent them, last week. Again, the procrastination, makes me so mad. The second cousin I mentioned and I are planning on going to see her next weekend.

Andy is planning on building some cabinets in our kitchen to help with the lack of cupboard space, and just the general lack of space in our entire house. I'm excited for them! We just really need to get a bigger house but at this moment in time we aren't in a position to do so. This mama deserves her own toilet. Just sayin.

Last thing, Origami Owl has teamed up with Rascal Flatts and only through an Origami Owl consultant can you get their new extended album and a new "CHANGED" tag, that is SO adorable!! Check it out! So if you're embarking on a change (like me), have just changed something in your life or know someone that has or is you need one of these!!!

GO HERE

This just hasn't been my week

2013-02-24T14:30:00.000-07:00

I've been beyond tired this whole week.

It started when I went to pick up some Origami Owl stuff from my friend Hilary, as I approached an intersection a lady was turning left and turned in front of me and I hit her. I got hurt. I must have been a bit of shock because I didn't really feel the pain until several hours later... It hurts to drive, using my right leg while sitting causes pain up my back and my headaches that I started to get on a consistent basis since starting work have gotten worse. Thank goodness I have my doTERRA Deep Blue rub otherwise I wouldn't be able to function. It has helped both my headaches and my back. Not to mention that there is a little oil monster that hides my Pasttense that I use for said headaches that have been bugging me since I started working with little monsters on a daily basis.

I went to a chiropractor, it felt like I needed to, and he made me hurt more, but then I went again the next day and he fixed it but then Thursday I felt worse. I've heard it said that it is a SLOW up and down recovery with whip lash. Which not to mention the headache that is dealing with a car that has been wrecked, which I won't talk about in case we have to take legal action. We have a rental, it's a really nice mini-van, but still. I feel much better today, we'll see what next week brings.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE my job! I love working with kids and seeing things click in their heads and knowing that I had something to do with that. The week of Halloween and the week before Christmas break were ROUGH, and now I found out that Valentine's Day is a close 2nd (or third)!! I'll just say that I never thought I would be saying, "Don't drop candy on the ground and then lick it!!!" to any of my little cuties.

His hilariousness is AWESOME!!

The beautiful flowers I got on V-Day!!

This was waiting for pictures.... And was from the week of Valentines... There ya go....

I saw this and had to post it!!

2013-02-10T18:07:00.002-07:00

Things non-running people say to people who run......

1) You’re running another marathon? How long is this one going to be?

2) Where do you run to?

3) Did you win?

4) You ran how many miles? Oh, I get tired just driving that far.

5) You are going to hurt your knees.

6) Running is boring. Wouldn’t you rather do something more fun?

7) Why do you run if you don’t win?

8) You ran in this weather?

9) Runner: I dropped 5 seconds in my race yesterday!
Non-runner: I’m sorry.

10) Man those 3-mile marathons take a lot out of me.

11) You only ran a half marathon?

ALL marathons are 26.2 miles, half marathons are 13.1 and 5k's are NOT marathons, 3 miles is a 5k. Just FYI, carry on.

I might be a LITTLE crazy.. Or a lot...

2013-02-10T09:48:00.001-07:00

I applied to go to USU, I need to get some transcripts then I will be going online and getting my degree in Family and Consumer Science. Plus there is an extension in the next town so I can also go there if needed. I just want my Bachelors. I had wanted to be a nurse when I grew up and I still might do that, but nursing school doesn't feel right, right now. I really feel like I need to be a teacher while my kids are in school so we have the same schedule. So I'll get my degree then I can get my alternate route to licensing to be a teacher. I'm REALLY excited but REALLY nervous.

I have also committed to and have started training for the Ragnar Wasatch Back relay. Again I'm really excited but really nervous. I have a great running partner and we have been meeting at the gym at 5 AM almost every morning, we were going to try to run outside today but it was snowing. We were supposed to do 8 miles today, she got them all in but I only got 7 because I chaff and it hurt, really bad. I really hate snow and would LOVE to move somewhere that either gets no snow or very little. But both of our immediate families are in Utah. =p