Tiger,Tiger,Panther,Fox!

SPECIAL OPS GREEN LASER BEAM POINTER

2012-01-06T07:34:00.000-08:00

SPECIAL OPS GREEN LASER BEAM POINTER

Im going to buy this, and a cat.

2012

2012-01-05T07:07:00.000-08:00

This is no longer about a band, instead I will use the name to further feel more important than I actually am. 140 characters just isn't enough my friend.

Allow me into your circle once more and we shall prosper with wit and lessons forever, well close to forever as possible.

you in?

good, bad and the ugly

2010-09-30T16:34:00.000-07:00

What a day of immense shite. Raining down on me like a monsoon of inconsiderate piranhas hell bent on dragging me to Scunthorpe with chains of rose thorns...

No bike and no food makes breaking up that little bit worse!

Its O.K though as the world continues spinning. Each and every spin brings us closer to playing with these lovely chaps at bodega nottingham on one night in October (the 7th to be exact)

Yes the little comets, most looking forward to it.

Also looking into the idea of doing an alternative bingo night in Derby.. (yes honestly)

One more word of advice, if you don't know how complicated bicycles work.

DON'T TAKE THEM APART.

xxx

feedback needed!

2010-09-20T22:55:00.000-07:00

O.k O.k, so this is the band blog but its mainly me (the 'vocalist') who blogs this shit.

I'm interested in doing a cover because I think it will be fun.

Which of these three songs do you blog followers and randoms think would be best?

yellow ribbon, love shack or we are your friends?? let me know why as well!

xx

procrastination

2010-09-16T08:23:00.000-07:00

A few top tips on procrastination.

Someone you might know once said something along the lines of 'time wasted enjoyed is not wasted' or something like that.

So you have something to do? And its really important? So important it needed to be done last week?

Well you better get on it with, why are you reading this rubbish? I'm guessing there are some other tabs open and someone is talking to you on FB chat..

Well sod it, just slack about a bit more. I suggest the best way to go about things is to wait until it is the absolute last minute, have a tantrum and a bit of cry before getting in done in half the time even professionals could do it.

The art of panic. May the power help you on your way. While we're at it, can anyone help me move house.....

Going to gigs

2010-09-14T16:34:00.000-07:00

Going to gigs is never a waste of time. Yet it seems to be getting to the point where its dropping down the priority list, underneath such brilliant activities as 'spring cleaning' or watching 'shit tele'.

It seems the the most popular reasons for going to gigs is

1. A popular band who have made it and you know the words to their songs.

2. A mates band who you feel you have to go and see

or 3. You wandered in the venue mistaken it for your own front door in a drunken daze.

How many of you go to gigs not knowing what the band are like or even who they are? Just on the off chance you might discover something?

I mean why the fuck would anyone do that when you can just log on to spotify? I'll tell you why, because its better. Much in the same way sexual intercourse is better than surfing youporn.

In a exaggerated stance, leaving gigs to die and x factor to grow stronger year by year, the charts are going to be fucked over the hmv counter by jedward while credible artists give up writing songs as free downloads don't pay.

I'm sure its all different in London where the fog cleans your clothes and the cashpoints give you free money, everywhere else though, gigs seem to be loss leaders while the dubstep promoters rake it in charging " £7 DOOR TAX FOR DJ SPAZZCOCK'S BANGING SETLIST HE DID INNIT"

If you want to have a new favourite band in 5 years time and you want them to be good, then go to some gigs. Even if the band is shit you can slag them off, regardless of whether you're in a band or not.

(sometimes this is the most fun..)

2010-09-12T16:06:00.000-07:00

This weekend taught me a few things.

1. The importance of sleep.

2. Cambridge is full of twats.

3. Rainchester

4. Bowie is king.

And whats with this fucking hipster viral vid? Its fucking everywhere.

booze time.

2010-09-09T23:53:00.000-07:00

But its not. The best way to start my weekend travelling about and doing some gigs, is to wait for weatherspoons to open its doors at seven to get my booze on.

Not serving till nine o clock in the morning. This is rubbish. I was well up for booze at seven.

Oh well two hours to go, then I will sober up so the rest of U.K doesn't think ttpf are borderline alcoholics.

Till the next pub with WI-FI!

Dance tax

2010-09-06T08:24:00.000-07:00

As we all know, dancing at gigs is illegal. Not only is it illegal but its a massive social faux pas.

We buy fancy shoes so we can look at them during gigs, not so we can wear them out 'dancing'

Luckily our crowd are not ones to perform in such an outrageous way, instead behave way beyond social expectations by sometimes sitting down peacefully.

However I am getting worried that some people will break the rules, start letting go and wasting their bodies precious kinetic energy.

It has been proven in recent studies that dancing is contagious and will permanently give you chlamydia.

To protect you from this we will be imposing a dance tax at everyone of our gigs, all profits will go to buying 'Garfield' and 'Dilbert' cartoon books so you have been warned.

Thank you for your time.

the land of ttpf!

2010-09-02T05:38:00.000-07:00

Its all good, that is basically the be all and end all.

Few gigs coming up. Taking our musical adventures to other parts of the land...

Been in 'talks'...

Sad to see that the summer, if it were to be a person, was a complete and utter twat who steals your food from your fridge and masterbates furiously all over your sofa. less said about him the better.

Hopefully studio time soon as we have better, harder, catchier songs.

We have also been approached by 'webuyanycar.com' to write their new advert. exciting times!

old hats

2010-08-29T21:38:00.000-07:00

Are just the same as new hats.

Having just realised I have not blogged the existence of our songs being on the internet, I have decided to do such act

search facebook and myspace, some songs there....

real ale

2010-03-02T17:01:00.000-08:00

Even though I believe this is the most unread blog in existence I still feel the need to blog about another blog.

Mainly due to its shared content.

This is up there with the mosh pit in the vic inn, a drunk underage child screaming "ttpf are fucking awesome", one of my best mates saying "I don't like what you do, you sound like the fall" a crap promoter comparing us to the wombats (I wasn't there when this was said) and having said I can't take criticism (fuck you, I get bollocked at work all the time)

Here is what's next

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=336002183928

And studio time is booked. Fucking fuck yes xxx

Laughing at your own jokes

2010-02-12T11:22:00.000-08:00

Sometimes (most of the time) I strongly believe that I am the funniest person EVER

Apparently this is a bad trait. Why? This is a question I ask myself many a time. Take this screen shot for example

Now after I typed this is I had to be physically restrained from laughing any more as its the best thing I have ever seen on the internet. Its like my own better version of lamebook.

Charlotte however was convinced it was neither 'funny' nor 'clever' and has taken away the right to use her body as a physical hobby.

I don't care for I 'LOL'D' and will continue to do so.

midi fuck off

2010-01-21T10:36:00.000-08:00

Why do things expect me to be so clever? Why cant everything just do what I want them to do, just by shouting at them?

For a few years now I have worshipped this piece of equipment more than any fucking guitar or amp like normal rock 'n' roll kids.

We had such precious moments back in the bedsit of hell, the magic we made will fill me with pride forever.

Then something happened, THE CLICK OF DEATH, oh man what a massive cunt zip disks are

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Click_of_death

The click of death deleted a good three albums worth of hip hop and slight electronica.

I could have kicked a small child in the face.

After that the mpc became more a talking point for visitors, something to look a bit cool on the coffee table.

Untill now, or maybe not because MIDI IS A FUCKING TWAT.

I have acquired a new girlfriend in the form of an Akai MPK25

She is really fit and cool. She gives the impression she is easy but really makes you work for it, which I like.

Yeah she is basically rad. As with all girls though they have their weak parts. Her pads are nowhere near as good as she made out when we first met.

She also doesn't seem too keen to threesome, I mean what's the big deal? Your pads are shit, the MPC's pads are better so why can't I have the best of both worlds??

BLOODY MIDI CLOCK MIDI SYNC MIDI FUCKOFF.

Thanks to these two machines and midi syncing being a pain, I'm going to be locked into a self imposed prison of geek talk, no sex and minimal food.

thanks Akai, thanks alot

super OMG

2009-12-31T20:16:00.001-08:00

No, we're not normal. On that super hollyoaks style. New decade CUOAC xxx

MERRY AFTER CHRISTMAS

2009-12-27T16:03:00.000-08:00

Who had a rock n roll Christmas?

Did you fuck the turkey over for a cocktail of Cocaine and mkat? Did you stab your guests in the face for eating all the pigs in blankets?

My mate pitman has stories not even safe for the internet, super extreme superhans shit. We stole a tank and ran over a pig for stealing our heroin, then a nap before royal scumbags and gavin and fatty, nothing biggy.

Christmas is like well over and now its 2010. Here is what TTPF have in line for 2010..

poppers, booze and watching keeping up appearances. Oh and we're going to perform some shows....

At the Blessington carriage, where the ales are A*, the staff are fit and the smoking garden is fairly warm.

JANUARY 17TH, It's on a Funday Sunday with the spirit offer fuelling the pandemonium. I'm (Stu) going to make a massive dick of myself, try and sleep with your boyfriend and most likely wear something designed for girls.

Also there is http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=220678229735&ref=mf HOME TOWN HOE DOWN.

We're doing the Vaults as part of a special tigers like night, my plans for this one is to hammer down the jagerbombs and slag off many a band which seem to exist in D-town. Christ all mighty there are some shit bands out there* unsurprisingly made up of cunts. I think this one will a major scene up with lots of back slapping. I'm going to be a twat though, it will be fucking awesome. ALCOLOL X

* We like quite a few mind

i shall be shit at famous

2009-12-26T20:26:00.000-08:00

songs from ttpf will be strive to be your best friend after a night of heavy boozetown, which leaves you on your own. Where you won't be on your 'own'. xxx

My 10 predicted trends for 2010

2009-12-21T20:49:00.000-08:00

Got a few theories, most probably all rubbish though. Will re-visit in 12 months time.

1. MASSIVE JUMPERS, still equipped with skinny jeans. Going to take a while to get rid of them.

2. The year of facebook campaigns. every fucker is going to have a wacky idea about changing the world by facebook campaigns after ratm I.E " IF A MILLION PEOPLE JOIN THIS GROUP I WILL WANK OFF A TRAMP!" or " BRING BACK GARY LINEKER CRISPS!"

All stuff no one cares about until others do.

3. Good Shoes for ultimate takeover??

4. Ridiculous entry into the bloggesphere, if I'm doing it then it means most are.

5. DVD and cinema ticket sales going down being a major part of the news. All the papers are bored of single/album sales going down. With tvfreeload and others its about time the film industry started kicking off a boot.

6. A major disgust of one night stands. I'm pretty sure everyone has realised they are rubbish, too much hassle, cheap and you don't get your tea right in the morning. I really hope this happens. I hate them.

7. Leaving the city your in. Lets be honest, no one wants to blame themselves. Its easier to blame your environment and the people that surround you, that's why you're not happy right? get out mate, get out.

8. Sorting your life out. Job. Social circle. Clothes. Significance

9. Kicking the fuck out of your T.V. Tele is shite. Minor form of escapism which doesn't work

10. BROTIME CHILLZ XXX

so so happy making

2009-12-19T18:51:00.000-08:00

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=212850626581&ref=nf

We shall be supporting Hatcham Social a week or so after valentines day.

Last time I went to watch them I went with two super important people. It was a splendid night and hopefully this one will be too, with less emotional attachments involved.

Has anyone ever wrote a review about content including them before? I hope we can make it happen.

Y.M.F.I.F X

brotime

2009-12-18T19:35:00.001-08:00

Brotime! What I shall be living (hopefully) for 2010!

I feel guilty, I realised that I have ignored the true benefits of brotime chillz for a long time.

Its the best!

Night clubs in D-City are pretty weak, the music is wack and you end up talking to people you wouldn't really 'do dinner with'

Gigs are awesome, but they need to be incorporated with brotime chillz. Enough people to get hammered with and dance like dickheads, thats brotime!

****====Quick note: By brotime chillz, we are not excluding sistimechillz, brotime chillz is all the sexes (best with minimum of sexual interests, one or two couples is chill, everyone trying to fuck eachother, not chill)

I don't know where I'm going with this though, basically im brotime chilling right. I set up my laptop to DJ with and ended up getting on the internet so thought I would blog this shit.

[ash] I love booze.. and my friends [/ash]

brotime chillz ftw. to 2010 and beyond!

ttpf xxxx

google motherfucking wave

2009-11-25T06:52:00.001-08:00

What does google wave mean for bands? What does google wave mean for music?

I reckon at the minute it will mean less will get done as people will be pissing about changing what other people have said on different waves.

Drag and drop means more file sharing (hurrah, ticket and t shirt sales FTW!)

Bands will be able to host public waves meaning a million requests for guestlist/obscure b-sides/what will you be wearing, leading to 'more fan interaction' which is gay anyway. So that's not the most exciting part about it.

Bands have been able to post mp3's up for the last five decades anyway so that doesnt change much.

What will be best is changing details on gigs when promoters/managers/jesus fucks up and it will be waved right in your face.

I may be missing loads out, will google wave be important in the promotion of new bands? Or does no one care any more about new bands unless your mates are supporting them?

google wave, still not cooler than blackberry, but rad none the less

OMFG

2009-11-23T19:09:00.000-08:00

Like super ZOMG Derby is horrendous.

playing a gig on your birthday? just say no!

2009-10-26T10:26:00.000-07:00

O.k so birthdays are pretty fucking radical, and its mandatory to do something exciting for it even if you have under average social skills.

What will most likely happen is a incredible amount of free booze will be offered to you on a plate, which while awesome, can bring problems into the field.

examine

Here is Ash before the onslaught of free booze got thrown at him, smiles, happy, people wanting to talk and touch him.

We had decided not to drink before our gig so we didn't collapse on stage like a second hand shed built by new born children.

How was this ever going to happen? on what fucking planet where we having a jolly English picnic on when we thought this was even physically possible?!

Needless to say booze was king, we fucking love booze and booze loves us. Booze loves us so much it even stays for cuddles in the morning and cooks us rad breakfasts. Would you not tell someone who loves you about your birthday? ban them from the party? I think not! King booze was a major player at this birthday party. We just don't want him to be in the band, it would be too much.

This is what the world looked like to most of us by the time we got on stage.

I'm pretty sure we were still fucking awesome.

Just don't play gigs on your birthday. Birthdays are for booze xxx

meme

2009-10-11T15:06:00.000-07:00

I haven't quite figured out what kind of meme we're going to go for so maybe anyone who accidently stumbles across this page could help figure it out for us. I'm pretty sure it ain't about the music no more...

Also, a very important issue. Eyeliner or glitter?

xxx